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HftWaM PublisMr. - : . illwo*. 1- Y"'1 •: FORTY VEABtS* : tefli bow long ago t Count th* yew* ky the old Wi'ddii.g ling. i thick r.i;d hetvy. how fast tbey lly, the winters that melt in tlx? spring! - if^Bd youth goes with thetu; so love. »w«ptli«Mrt, It the only last log U:ing. * ,, • <" • "We two, ab, what did wo XudW Of ]oW when if-JV - ' *osos of Jane werered? ';-m. h-ku *fhe« you wept, Hweet tear* at a Bona, or sobbed , 1 At mmiio iho shtless word 1 said, ^tivy^'^nd Mushed if I onl .• kissed your hand or it kin ' '. on your fair, brown heati. _ • . ^Otir hearts -were light as brown babbles blown, ^•t» ' V_ Like children in fairy laud •^'yrU-v*. we waudsreu down where t he daisies grew, to that, wonderful golden strand wltrt all the dreams of the hoart ooW Drue, Slid lovers walk hand in hand. ISince thou. uinoo then, oh. the long, long road we 'l have wandered through c.ilni and storm, i s .^heu leaves flew by us and sr.oivfiakes whirled Avsf- and we vitcM the swallows form. winged clouds awc^piug down the sky to laoda wh re the sun was Warm. ^tiere was always brightness for you and me, > _ and over the tears we wept. p^v 'fif^Por life's i-ore losses and iinrtiug pain a rainbow, in - 'ii?* Of hope still crept, . . !^;-.i-i".'^'<',^iiiS4.t>lld«ep in you-- sweet, tear-clouded eyea my ' aanshiiie forever slept t ' "V' flLook at me, dear, with your true, k'nd eye j* <i beaiuinc under your soft, white hair, Sfeif, s'^SThey are far n>ore beami'ul now, sweetheart, /{ then whon moniiiu; ai:d youth were fair; " j? " *«A.ud fat more iovoly your pale, worn cheeks than •^(v: when blushes were burning there. ipTtv -ji talk like a lover ? Of course-1- do. What should I talk like, pray? ,4',, '*nPot a man is never a lover true- to his girl of his %Sb .«* heart, 1s*y, . -V 7 ' ^3iU he's li\ed us ber husband forty ytiiril and seen her grow old and gray. , S-JuOge. - . • .. ITALIAN ROMANCE. >.**.ETTA KOBINSOX •idttis,1 setting in the glferf of . golden amber, flung its beams in a parting caress over the rippling blue J graves of the Bay of Naples. Near the •tvater's edge, all embowered in Tines, -•was a tiny cottage,aud on his low porch, ' i|;|; "fliefore her spinning wheel, sat Rosolyte, r the daughter of Fiavio, the vine- dresser. ,<" As she turned her wheel she sang in Mfi low voice dreamily to herself. Sud- ' -i^enly her song ceased as from the cot- V , iage door issued the figure of her I •, <' ^father. He was a very old man, and ,A\ ' liis features bfetokened thought and in- v tellipence beyond his hnmble station. * -iJuat now he seenjed greatly excited; it" Wor as he came to his daughter's side his , «eyes flashed tire and his face worked •convulsively. "Father! what is it? What has hap- ^ ' Jpened ?" ^he cried, in evident alarm. 1 -J* "ffo her question the old man answered a ;-Tnothi;ig, but held out to her his hand, in which rented a small, round object. ?v But the circular disk with what j&eenicd to be a needle tremulously vi- ?|^wbratiug beneath a glass cover conveyed ^,Tf *43Q meaning to Roseiyte's mind. "Father, speak, and tell me the rea- .fc ^bon of your excitement. I do not see S^^%nght. in this you show me to cause it." :-V, v The old man seated himself by his . ' •iflaughter's side, aud began a long and 5: Earnest explanation; and as she listened, i; the girl's nobie features lighted up with letvour equal to his own. For then :%^»nd there, in the humble vine-dresser's ^^^cottage, was explained for the first time '• iA*he properties of that wonderful mag­ netic needle which has since been the guide of every mariner oa the great y daughter," said the old man, at "1 have labored and thought and now success is near at hand; y work is not done until some­ one" high and powerful sees and under- •• stands its importance." "Father," exclaimed Rosolyte, "in |I?|?-'three more weeks will be a fete day, « |.v »ad the King aud Queen will be in the city. Shall we not go and lay your dis- g" '-f "Covery at their feet ? I have heard that \ [ •4 they delight to honor all who, like them- T *&selves, love learning." * ' -Hh dB^ghter's proposition found v'j _,'-^Ea,Gr with Fiavio, and the time passed - \f • jslowly on until the impatiently looked- morning dawned. , £ :• , "Make yourself fair, my child," said jpf 'r . Fiavio, laving his aged hand proudly f r "'*^ipoo his daughter's head. "For who jknows but that to-day may be the <'} :tuiiuL;g-point in your destiny? Borne BfK moble lord may see and love my -Itosolyte." | The girl grew very pale as she said, ^ '"Father, ygu know that neither loving 5 * aor marrying are any more in my - thoughts. You refused* your consent to Paulo, and drove him from my side by ."your stern decision; and now I shall ® - aever see anyone else who will have the tj>ow«r to touch my heart." "Rosolyte," Fiavio said, "what I did ffl"'1' vwas for the best. Paulo was but poor; find I foresaw that in the future Fluvio'a ^ "i, • daughter might be a bride lor the rich- f " est and noblest. You will not repent fij|v, having sacritied your feelings to your ' duty as an obedient child." '* •. Itoiolyte did not father's words came it" " m a-f-*' % -i ; •• » • * , _ and, Aftth her father, in i«w hut ed words, laid before his invention. ltf*vSjrig Ferdinand listened inter*] eatally, Queen Jeanno rose and beck* oq#4 tov Rosolyte to come forward. TlWnblingly she advanced, iooki«|f» ifi her simple robe in that gorgeous Owen* UiagQ, like a pure white rosebud sinid a settling of dazzling tit>pical exotics. Queen Jeanne noticed her agitation, and, gently laying her hand upon her arm, she drew her close to her side aud looked penetratingly into her facet. "Truly our nephew has a good teste," she murmured softly to herself. By this time Fiavio bad finished his explanation, and, with eyes whose light age had no power to dim, he was re­ ceiving his King's commendations and congratulations. It was a proud mo­ ment. The success he had dreamed of was his. Suddenly Queen Jeanne's soft voice interrupted her husband's words. "My liege," she said, "have I your permission to carry out at this present and most opportune moment the inten­ tion of which I told you some time back?" Then, as her husband signified his consent, she turned to Rosolvte. "Sweet one," she said, "I have long known of you--of your beauty and great goodness--and had intended ere now to have summoned you to our presence; but hearing rf your father's discovery, and that he intened to lay it before the King, have waited until now. Some time ago, while passing through the village in which you live, a young and favorite kinsman of ours saw and lost his heart .to you. He told me of his passion aud besought mf help, which (for I love him as a mother) I promised. I now ask you, in the pres­ ence of ourselves and these witnesses, will you consent to be united in holy matrimony to our nephew, the young Lord D'Aubigny?" Rosolyte had listened, almost un- comprehendingly, to the above startling words. Now she drew back, and the delicate color excitement had brought faded from her face as, in low but reso­ lute tones, she replied, "Pardou me, most gracious Queen, but I shall never marry!" As he heard, Fiavio started to her side, low in her ear, whispered, "My daughter, did I not promise you that this day would be the turning point ia our lives? Do not now ruin all by your foolish clinging to the past. Accept this great good fortune which is laid be­ fore you." But the maiden was firm. i "Your Majesty," she eaid, "I know of 110 noble lord whom I have ever seen; but there is one, and only one--a hum­ ble artist--who has my heart, even though I shall never meet him more; for he left me in anger, deeming me cold, because I refused to disobey my father's commands." With an arch smile curving her lovely mouth, Queen Jeanne turned to a group of courtiers who stood iu a dis­ tant corner of the audience-chamber, "My TjOrd D'Aubigny, corns near," she said. Suddenly Bosolyte felt her liand clasped, and her eyes rested upon a handsome, pleading face she well knew. "Paulo!" she ejaculated. "Yes, Rosolyte; can you forgive me my deception? I wished to win my wife for love of myself alone, and I, the Lord D'Aubigny, am that Paulo--the humble artist--whom you sent away so coldly and cruelly. I was deeply an­ gered at first; but I soon learned that it was only filial obedience which had caused your actions, and then I laid my desperate case before my aunt--*ur gracious Queen--and in this romantic manner it has pleased her to fulfil her promise of assistance." Thus, with the marriage in the full blaze of court glory, of the Lord D'Au­ bigny and Rosolyte, the daughter of Fiavio, the discoverer of the magnetic needle, was completed a romance which, wherever the liquid Italian tongue is known, has been sung in ballads and told in prose and verae. 'ggS.v i Grandma's Glassea. "Freddie, dear, have yOti i»6en my spectacles anywhere?" asks the old lady. / "Your gold-rimmed glasses, grand­ ma?" , "Yes." • - " What you wear on your noee and see through, grandma?" "Yes; where are they?" "The glasses that grandpa gave you ?" "Yes." "For a Christmas present?" - "Yes; tell me where they are." "Are they the glasses that you read the Bible with, grandma?" "Yes, yes! I'm getting impatient, Freddie. Get them for me." •'Tiie classes that you read about David and Goliah with, and the three children in the fiery furnace?" "Yes, yes; the same glasses. Tell me where they are at once, Freddie, and quit asking so many questions." "And do you want to read with them now, grandma?" "No; I want to sew." "What ar« you going to - MSf, grand­ ma?" _ ^ .-/vy "I want to few handker­ chiefs." • t "Forme?" •$£&• "No; for grandma. Where are those glasses, you little torment?" "You can't sew with the glasses, can you, grandma?" "Why, of course I can. I can't sew without theai." "I thought you sewed with a sewing machine, grandma." "Oh, you aggravating boy! Look Jfcj country, that are know audi reply, for at her vividly back the memory of her young lover's passionate, pleading toue3 as he besougnt her to leave all and come with him who loved her HO well and truly. Rosolyte's instinctive good taste taught her that her Bimple muslin dress would become her; and attired in white, brightened only by a snood and belt of rose-hued ribbon, she started with her .father on the way to the great city, where Fiavio was to learn whether his ambitious dreams were to be realized, or whether as a poor vine-dresser he *was to end his fast declining days. * As Rosolyte had said, it was fete day. •'Down the street, beneath the myriad "waving banners, came the royal caval-1 _ _ _ cade. Foremost rode King Ferdinand, 1 right at me! Now tell me where those ' and by Lis side, on her snow-white . palfrey, his lovely wife, Queen Jeanne. Then followed the nobies, who had been honored by being allowed to form the immediate escort uf their sovereigns. ' Conspicuous among the glittering throng was one youth, taller and • nobler than the others. AM he passed the porch from beneath which Fiavio and bis daughter were gazing out upon the, to them, novel spectacle, this eyes suddenly rested upon Rosolyte. A crimson flush sprang to his very 1 brow. In another moment he had passed, and Rosolyte had not seen him. It was late in the day, and the time glasses are!" "Danno!" s "Haven't you seen them lately?" "No'm.'V • . ^ ^ Education In Chill. _ Santiago is naturally the great educa­ tional center of Chili, writes Theodore Child, in the Harper's. In the alameda is the university, which coanted 1,175 students in 1889, and has already turned out more doctors and lawyers than the country needs, whether for professional purposes or for the more sterile and disastrous occupations of politicians. Deputies and Senators. Near the Hos­ pital of San Vincent de Paul and con- W. is>'f «5t % ' %- & ' %sd arrived when the King received the j tiguous to the cemetery ig an Escuei; tipli ions of nift Riih:A/»f,fl In tliA linA ' -* , r. •petitions of his subjects. In the line •waiting their turn was Fiavio, one trembling hand holding the case which contained his precious discovery, and the other resting upon his daughter's '«feoulder. # ' Suddenly a page, clad in the royal col­ ors, approached. "Is your name Fiavio?" he said. If •o, you and this maiden are to come With we?" Wonderingly, Fiavio and Bosolyte followed their guide. '*•> Quickty beat the heart of the village «girl as she-found herself in the presi­ de Medicina,a terra-cotta-colored stucco monument in the always popular Peii clean Greek style of architecture. Then we have for higher and secondary edu­ cation the Instituto Nacional of Santi ago, with 1,200 pupils, and twenty-five provincial liceos, with a total of 3,8UC pupils. Finally comes the free primary schools throughout the country, num­ bering more than 1,000, and having a total attendance of 57,000 boys and girls. There are also normal schools for preparing teachers. A BOTOX, industiy--romance writing. « Gwrrii&» KJ o get out M||||aperg said, "don't wiPPwhat West, where I am run- wn Liar,' with the best establishment iu the ve problems to meet tns. Of course I don't about the real ge newwpfcpjr business. 1 went out on a 'bluff,' started the concern oil 4t 'bluff,' and ha*© mn it ever since on the small 'Mutt' But 1 have tact aud that is what is needed by a Dogtown editor. Between you and nit> the peo­ ple out there think that the paper is a wonder, aud if ever they get the chance they will send me to Congress. "We were speaking of problems and tact, though. Let me give you an ex­ ample. I am editor, business manager, superintendent of the job office and everything else. As I said before, I don't know much about any of these callings, but J make my little 'bluff,' and generally j>u,l out wib!i flyiii/r col- ox's. "A little woai£iVca&> in one d&/, and asked me if I were the editor. I put my pen behind my ear with a pretty big flourish that nhe unght see for her­ self and answered ihat I was. " 'Well,' she said, 'my husband is dead.' " 'Madam,' I answered politely, for it is my policy always to be gracious to every one, 'you have my sincere sym­ pathy. You have come to ask where the undertaker's shop is, I suppose?' " 'No,' she replied, 'I'va been to see him.' " 'Ah,' saidrl, 'I see. Yon wish an obit--er--». nice sketch written of your husband. 'The Liar' will be delighted --a man of sterling integrity, honorable to a fault, generous in the extreme-- something like that, eh ?' " 'Y-e-e-s,' she t-aid doubtfully, 'but what I came for was to see about get­ ting some funeral cards. You see, we were just about at the head of Dogtown society, and I want to impress the peo­ ple of this place with our knowledge of society.' " 'Hern,' I said, thoughtfully. " 'I suppose you know about what I want?" " 'Oh, certainly, Madam,' I answered. 'You want some cards like--er--just as --ahem--like we have in the East.' " 'Yes,' she said eagerly, 'that's it. I suppose you can get them up for me.' " 'Certainly, madatne; 'The Liar' job printing establishment is complete in every detail.' " 'I'd like to have them this after­ noon.' " 'Of course,' I said, 'in work of this kind, delicate and high class, and all that, you know, we require more time; but if you wait until I step into another department I will consult with my fore­ man and ask him to attend to this per­ sonally.' I bowed very low and she tried to drop me a courtesy to show her savoir faire. "The foreman and I are the whole of the establishment. He is a first-class printer and a general all-round handy­ man, and between* the two of us we run the concern. " 'Jim,' I said, 'could we get up some funeral cards this afternoon ?' " 'Funeral cards? What are they?' " "Oh, Charles Smith died. His wife presents her complements, eto. Hanged if I know myself just how to get them out, but I guess wo can fix 'em some way, can't we? Get some »lugs and rules and we'll make mourning lines. I'll get up the design if you can set it.' " 'All right,' he said, 'go ahead. We've got forty-three cards left over from that lot we made for the'plumber.' "I went back to the widow. " 'Madame,' I said, 'I am happy to say that with an extra effort we shall be able to accommodate you; but this class of work, as 1 s-aid before, requires such skill and care that we shall be able to furnish you only forty-seven cards to­ day.' " *You will have thefh first-class?' she queried anxiously. " 'Of the very best, I assure you,' I answered, graciously. ; ' " 'Then I will call for them •&&* « "'Very well, madame.' - "I had a long tussel with my brain tissue over those cards. We manasred with slugs and rules to get a black border around the cards and a black line down the center. The card read something like this: 'Thomas Fisk, aet, 56; ob. January 14, 188--. Mrs. Fisk, relict, at home Thursday, at 3 p. m. "The foreman wanted to have, in small type, down in one corner, 'The Liar Job Printing Establishment,' but I coaxed him away from the idea. He got so much interested in those cards that he fairly heaved when he picked the first one up in his inky fingers and read it off, spelling out slowlv the 'o--b, ob' and 'a--e--t, aet.' Me pro­ nounced it 'eat.' When the 'bereaved and loving wife' (extract from my half-column obituary) came for the cards I handed them to her with a grave smile. ' "No other office in the country can do this kind of work, madame,' I said. *You will no doubt see at once the superiority of the work. She examined them with pride. I took one from her. " 'You will notice,' I said, 'the "ob-- died," the "aet--age" and the appropri­ ate mourning border.' "She scanned the 'at home, Thursday 3 p. m.' with wrinkled brow. And I hastened to put it 'you will also notice the 'at home'--the hour for the funeral, of course. Her face cleared and then was wreathed ia smiles. She looked long at tho cards. 'Don't you think,' she asked, 'that we ought to have a coffin or tomb or something like that on them?" 1 knew that we could not get up any such thing and if we could we had no more cards. " *You see," I stammered, 'the--that is--oh yes--you see, coffin? were in style on funeral cards a short while ago, but they are not being used in the best society at present. Fashions change so rapidly you know.' " 'I would like coffins on them' she said, with a sigh, 'but if they are not in style now' " 'Of course if you prefer them,' I said, for I saw that she would not have coffins now under any consideration. " 'No,' she answered a little stiffly, as if I were urging them, 'they are not in style.' "Now, that's what I call tact Those cards were the envy of the town and they got me the county printing. Come out to Dogtown and nee me run a news­ paper."--New York Tribune. -j, . '2 Cutter--Bog pardon, fflr, but you ire usurping otious; it is the court's rogative to inflict long sentences. Royal .Ladle* Who Bmoko. The Empress Elizabeth, of Austria, smokes from thirty to forty Turkish and Russite- ̂ garettes a day, and loir many years ft has Jmmb her inveterate oustom to puff awi^y after dinner at #ifeong 'lli^iAi'l^ir, one of those witK- % straw running through it, and which is brought to her with her cup of Turkish coffee evorv evening on a gold salver. On her" writing table are always a large silver box of repousse work filled with cigarettes, a match box of carved Chinese jade, and a capacious ash re­ ceiver. Almost mechanically lier ma­ jesty lights cigarette after cigarette as she sits in her great writing room at Godollo, which is fitted up with carved oak panels and Gobelin tapestries; the somber hue of the walls being relieved here and there by trophies of the chase. The Czarina of Russia, who is like­ wise one of the vassals of King Nicotine, smokes in a somewhat, more indolent and almost Oriental fashion. Stretched oa the silken cushions of a broad low divan, at Gatschina, she follows dreamily with her beautiful dark eyes the rings of blue smoke that her crim­ son lips part to send upward into the perfumed air of her boudoir--a boudoir which she calls her "den." and which is copied from one of the loveliest rooms of the Alhambra, with palms raising their bannners against the gorgeous colors and diapered gold of the walls. Queen Marguerite, of Italy, is another of the royal ladies who see no harm in the use of tobacco. Her flashing black eyes look laughingly through fragrant clouds of smoke, and she is wont to de­ clare that her cigarette is more essen­ tial to her comfort than anything else in life. Christina, Queen Begent of 8pain, is a great advocate of tobacco. She con­ sumes a large quantity of Egyptian cigarettes and there is nothing that her little "Bnbi," his majesty, King Alpfcoxiso XIII, enjoys more than when his mother permits him to strike a match and apply the flame to the end of her cigarette. The smoking paraphernalia of the beautiful ex-Queen Natalie, of Servia, is of the most elaborate and magnificent description, while the poet-Queen, of Roumania, so well known in the literary world under the pseudonym of "Carmen Sylva," is content with the gold cigarette case suspended to her chate­ laine. The Comtesse de Paris, the Queen de juVe, of France, is addicted to miid Havanas of delicious flavor, and her daughter, Queen Amelia^ of Portu­ gal, is a source of considerable fortune to the manufacturers of cigarettes at Dresden.--Tid Bits. 8«mn Unreanonahl* Complatata--One Cor- r««pon(t,iiit U'xiHrt ivli ittua. Au^tlwr •" M Wlf«* " V"* The habit of many people going utf at half-cock lead;4 t<» the sending of to Postmaster Van Cott wh Would cause him much amusement they wero not so numerous that they have come to be a bore. An idea of the unreasonableness of gome of his corre­ spondents will be obtaiued from the ac­ count of a letter which reached him not long ago. It came all the w&y from India, 8Ad was written by an American, now a resident there, who complained of the delfty in sending a letter to him. The letter, he said, had boon mailed in San Francisco on April 8, but had not reached New York until August 10. After that it traveled at a reasonable speed. Why should it take the letter so long to cross the continent? The part of the letter containing the date and the envelope were enclosed with the complaint, so that Mr. Van Cott might have documentary proof of the assertions. It happened that the protest came into the bands of Assistant Postmaster Gayler first, and his trained eye saw at a glance the redioulousness of the thing. The date of the original letter was in figures separated by per­ pendicular lines, that is, 8-line-4-line-90. The person who felt himself aggrieved had translated the characters as mean­ ing the eight day of the fourth month of 1890. Of course they really stood for the fourth day of the eight month, or August 4, so that the journey from San Francisco to New York had really been made in a little more than five tion, Very Like Senator JSvarta, - '-Jf Lawyer Prolix--The prisoner, gentle­ man of the jury, reading in your face that humanitarianism which reflects your responsiveness to the appealb of I jus mercy--that God-given divination | sue which, like the flashlight of the camera, penetrates the mist that hides the false from the true--that ratiocination foorCneBiWork. iloWii town on a side street there is a small barber shop. In it is a young barber. He is an assistant, and his name is Guess. He has been employed there only a few days, but he came very near losing his job on account of his name, too. The proprietor of the shop was in when the young man applied for work. He liked his appearance, was satisfied with the amount of pay he expected to receive, and engaged him. "What is your name?" inquired the boss. "Guess," was the reply. "I'm a poor hand at guessing names," replied the boss, but still he began trying. "Well." he said, "perhaps it may be Schmidt." "No," said the young man, quietly, but none the less deliberately, "Guess." "Lutz," ventured the boss. "No," resjjonded the young man, with a smile, "Guess." "Huber," returned the boss, des­ perately. The young man shook his hQad, and again replied with emphasis,--- "Guess." Then the boss showed signs of fatigue and vexation. "See here, young fellow, if you can't answer a civil question, I think you'd better look elsewhere for a job. Now, sir, I am in no humor for trifling; wh.it is your name ?" "George Guess.* Now it happened that the boss's first name was George, and naturally he thought the young man was still amus­ ing himself in a most unusual fashion, and at his expense. "Say," he roared, in deep bass tone?, "this has gone far enougn. If you not tell me your name you'll have^o get 0*11, that's all there is to it, sir." "I h&ve told you several that my name is Guess, and alsoaitjclared to you that my first name was George. If that doesn't satisfy,you, I'm afraid nothing ever will." Then the boss penetrated the mys­ tery, and made ample apologies, and Mr. Guess was duly assigned to a chair. Courage of Felines. The mastery of herself which a cat shows when, having been caught in a position from which there is no escape, she calmly .sits down to face out the threats of a dog, is a marvelous thing, says a writer in the Boston Transcript. Everybody has seen a kitten on the street doorstep attacked by a dog ten times her size, as apparently self-pos­ sessed as if she were in her mistress' lap. If she turns tail and runs down the street she is lost; the dog will have a sure advantage of her. Even as it is, if he could get up oourage enough to seize her on the spot, he would be able to make short work of her. "You dare not touch me, and you know it," is what her position t«Us the dog. But she is intensely on her guard, in tpite of her air of perfect content. Her legs, concealed under her fur, are ready for a spring; her claws are un­ sheathed, her eyes never move for an instant from the dog; as he bounds wildly from side to side, barking with comical fury, those glittering eyes ol hers follow him with the keenest scru­ tiny. If he plucks up his courage to grab her, she is ready; she will sell her life dearly; She is matching her chance, and she does not miss it. The dog tries Fabian tactics, and withdraws a few feet, settling down upon his fore- paws, growling ferociously a* he does so. Just then the sound of a dog's bark in the next street attracts his eyes and ears for a moment, and when he looks back the kitten is gone! He looks down the street and starts wildly in that direc What placed the man's position in even a more ludicrous light was that the San Francisco postmark on the envelope said plainly August 4, 1890, but it had never occurred to the man to look at that, although he had examined the New York one. A correspondent who was perhaps equally unreasonable lives not far from this city. His eomplaint was that it had . taken the postoffice people six days to send a letter from this city to his home, when it should have been delivered in as many hours. He too, enclosed the envelope which should prove the culpa­ ble negligence and theineficiency of the postoffice employes. Mr. Gayler saw with half a glance the mistake the man had made. The letter was no doubt dated six days before its receipt, but the marks on the envelope showed that it- was delivered cn the davit was mailed. The sender had evidently intrusted the posting of the letter to some one who had forgotten all about it for nearly a week, and had then quietly dropped it into a letter box without telling the writer of his negligence. The cares of the Postoffice Department would be vastly increased if it had to bear the responsibility of every delay in mailing a letter. Postmaster Van Cott, however, re­ ceives curious letters that are not sent by men who have grievances. One such cams from a woman in Massachusetts, presumably an old maid, who had a favor to ask. She bad been in New York lately, she wrote, and in a store in Vessey street, not far from the post- office. had seen nine lovely black cats. Wouldn't the postmaster have the letter carrier on the route ask in the various stores until he found the cat.*, aud then send the address of the place to the writer. She was extremely anxious to get some kittens. Another person had a request of far greater moment to himself to make. He was a farmer in Mbntana, and wanted a wife. His helpmate had died a few weeks before, and he wanted another in a hurry. He needed one in his business. She shouldn't be especially young, nor yet remarkably handsome, but indis­ pensable requisites were health, strength and a knowledge of the duties of a farmer's wife. Mr. Van Cott read between thet lines that the man had worked his first* wife to death, and his second wouhfabe lfce^iy to meet a similar fate, so be­ stir himself much to^P^1'0 Union hands thrust d e e p p o c k e t s , h i s f e e t strel||^H|^^Hp^ront of him, his head bent his chest, and his hat pulled^HPKover his eyes. " What's the matter with you?" in­ quired a policeman, touching him on the shoulder. 'He looked up a moment with dull, heavy, lack-lustre eyes, and then looked ctojjm again. * .-"'"I'm sober," he said. "You needn't waste auy of your valuable time on me. . I don't need looking after." "But you have been sitting here an hour without saying a word or moving a musole. You're in trouble. What is it?" "I don't think you can help me any." Perhaps «I; what I'm cloth, ad. And around AFTERWARD, mostly _ bride «--« the policeman came y again an hour or two young man was jiUMlC the same attitude, "iffiolnt <i>i( hands were a little degj^ia his t^users pockets, and his hat pulled a little further down over his eyes. Too Oeatty a Luxury. It must be admitted that as a people 'We are not hospitable. Many of us are too busy to open our houses to friends. Particularly )8 this true of men and women of affairs. But our domestic service, or want of it, is tho prittuy cause. Conjoined with the low ambi­ tion to rank in style of living with those who far© sumptuously every day, when the nominal host can afford to tore in tolerable sumptuousn oss not more than once a month, it would probably out­ weigh all other causes combined When "pot luck" went out of vogue the rebel­ lion of the lower house began. When Smith, meeting accidentally his old chum, Jones, could link his arm ia his and insist that he should go home with him to a family dinner, a proceeding that inconvenienced Bridget only to the extent of setting upon the table and washing oue or two extra plates, knives, forks and a tumbler, "company" was a bagatelle. In fact, she rather en­ joyed the merry din of voices and the scraps of talk she caught as she took off the meat and brought in the dessert. Now that Smith must consult his wife before he can fix a day on which Jones can dine with hint, and such a family dinner means raw oysters, soup, fish, au entree, a roast, salad, cheese, crackers, olives, pastry, ices, fruit and coffee, it is small wonder and less blame to Bridget that she frets under the moun­ tain of added labors, requires a helper in the kitchen on the eventful evening, and gives warning at the third repeti­ tion of the offense. The people who can keep but one .maid, or perhaps no maid at all, must settle down in the conviction that hospitality is too costly a luxury for poor folk, unless it merits the simple sharing of bread and meat with friends who care to know them as they are. Unhappily, the majority do not wish to be thus known, and finding themselves in the dilemma from which Mary Lamb so gracefully extricated herself, would have been covered tath confusion. The story is worth telling. Once when some visitors chanced to drop iu unex­ pectedly upon Mary and her brother just as they were about to sit down to their plain dinner of a bit of roast mut­ ton, with her usual frank hospitality she pressed them to stay and partake, cutting up the joint into five equal por­ tions, and saying, in her simple, easy way, "There's a chop apiece for us, and we can make up with bread and cheese if we want more." With a hostess of this order to serve you, bread and cheese is more enjoyable than the finest venison. When such breeding and tact are en­ grafted upon the vigorous young stock of American society we shall have the best flower and fruit of hospitality, of­ fered without grudging, and by all classes and conditions of men. have k ev been hamftfga giveii;#!!' fj*- "' * ~ •" --"• moi law; to outiojete J&fhts'4 httve frowpeddown the gence of night-keys, and banished bot­ tles with long necks from the homes aforesaid. They have allowed dren to be "sassy" to theur tender puii, and they have the sick headache when they smell tobacco smoke; and the sight of whisky punches ordered, for Brown or Jones, who just dropped in of m evening, yon know, gives them the ague. They invade the sacred mysteries of the hash, and stick their investigating noses into the cold cabbage. They take '"'A upon themselves the getting up of theSfi soap fat, and insist on poking over ti»e!£* few scraps which Bridget has set apafctjic for the "poor, lone widow of her brother, Mike." hey kick the familv cat out of doors m tailor I sup- -?' said es a high board fence --a monstrous tail for is vanishing over the beaten; the cat showed urage than he had, but e generalship. here for." "Humph!" "Have you had your pocket picked?" "Worse than that." "Been worked by confidence men?" "Worse." "Been held up and robbed ?" "Worse." You seem to be all here. I don't see any arms, legs, or anything missing." "No!" snorted the young man. "You don't see anything missing! Every­ thing's missing." He jumped up, pushed his hat back, and burst out: t "Do you see this valise?" \-v.% "Yes." "Well, it isn't mine. It's just like mine, but it belongs to a man that's half way between here add the end of the world by this time. He took my valise by mistake last night when he" had to change cars, and 1 didn't find it out till noon to-day. " "Well, that isn't a killing matter." "It isn't, hey ? That valise had my wedding suit in it, sir! I was to have been married an hour ago. The girl is waiting for me at a house on Division street, the preacher is there, the folks are wondering what's up, and the wed­ ding vituals are getting oold." "Why don't you go and be married in that suit you have on? It looks all right." • • "This suit? These are the clothes I courted her in.* "What of it? Go and explain the case to her." "She'd think the explanation a little too thin." "Brace up, young fellow," said the policeman. "What's,a suit of clothes, anyhqw? Clothes , don't make the mati." The forlorn youth threw himself own on the bench again, thrust his ds deep into his trousers pockets, his feet straight out in front of bent his head forward on his How Bo Know That He Had Soon In Knropo. "Perhaps," said * business man, "there are a good many of us who be­ lieve that all the world has absolute confidence iu our honesty. But there are so many schemes creditors have for keeping an eye on debtors that the honest men are watched as carefull^^l the dishonest ones. When I wj^t to Europe last summer I owed two or three hundred dollar pose. "When I returned I afent around to him to order m$-^U&Rthes. "'How da-"you do, Mr. L he. 'Hftv did you enjoy your trip to EU£OP^) ?' •fS bad gone away quietly and 1i3^\ returned no less quietly. Not a dozen of my friends knew when I started or when I got back. "'Europe?' I said, 'What do you mean ?' and I looked at him banter- ingly. "'Why,'said he, 'I^mean your last trip. I see that you returned only last week.' "'Where did you see it?' I asked. "He stopped for a moment and looked embarrassed. " 'Come now,' I said, 'how did you know I had gone to Europe or that I had returned?' " 'To tell you the truth, Mr. L ,' he answered, we know about every movement of those who owe us money. We receive weekly reports from an agency, and you will find that many, other business houses know as much about their customers.'"-- Tribune. v Tough Hole. Mrs. Custer reports a stoiy related to her by a frontiersman which may be taken as an amusing illustration of a very solemn truth. The teller of the story had stopped at a cabin to get a supply of milk. The family consisted of a mother and several "strapping daughters." As the traveler sat by the fire, the shrivelled old mother bent over the fireplace puf­ fing at a clay pipe, perfectly stolid and silent, till one of the girls came in and stood at the fire trying to dry her home­ spun dress. - Without raising herself, and in a drawling tone, the mother said pres­ ently, "Sal, there's a coal under your fat." In no more animated tone, and with­ out even moving, the daughter replied, "Which fut, mammy?" The girl had ran barefoot all her life over the shale and rough ground of that country, and the red-hot coal was some time in making its way through the hard surface to a sensitive tissue, ' -- Always Contnmptitdo. ^ | There is many a true word spoken in anger, as in the following case re­ ported by a San Francisco newspaper: A very irascible old gentleman who held the office of justice of the peace iu one of our cities was walking down the street when a young lawyer accosted him familiarly, and made some remark which at once roused his ire. "Young man," said he, "I fine you $5 for contempt of court." "Why, judge," said he, "you are not in session!" • "This court," responded the judge, now thoroughly angry, "this court is always in session, and consequently is always an object of contempt." Judge Power--Ah, Jasper! out of the penitentiary again, eh? Well, I'm glad to hear it. Jasper--Y'orter be, J edge. Ef we didn't git out de peniten­ tiary now an' den an' sorter sueklate ,roun' dar wouldn't be no mater'al 1st jestice to wuk on. oold nights, and scald the hair off from" the dog's back with the hot ginger tea . they are taking for their colds. Forv' . mothers-in-law invariablv have colds, f They have a hereditary disposition for< colds. >' This sort of scandal in regard to these ,*J '*< unfortunate women has always prevailed until recently. But this is an aga of progress, and later developments have proved that mothers-in-law are worth " dying for. The ever-veracious newspapers inform us that a vonng man of eighteen re* ' i cently committed suicide in one of the • Western States because of the death of1 ̂ hia mother-in-law. : •;$ Noble youth! The pioneers in any great movement '1 of reform are always entitled to the vj lion's share of the glory, and surely this' young enthusiast should be kept before? tS|ll the people. He should be encouraged, •-$^ for if the dead have cognizance of what??.; goes on here, it would undoubtedly heljf his feelings to know that those he haa left behind appreciate ..hia devotion to, ^ the shrine of his mother-fh-law. The paragraph in regard to this ̂ *>in y man does not state whether he used, ' tobacco or profane language, and it fails f to inform us if he went to Sunday V school regularly. ' We have no doubt that he was obe- dient to his parents, and brought water;'*"% on Mondays for his mother to wash with/ -'-Jl instead of going off gunning with bad', ^ ^ boys. He never played marbles onfTCrj Sunday. He never tied a kite nor aaVi"^ old tin dipper to a dog's tail, or threw v i stones at a chipmunk, or burned up a hornet's nest, or stole birds' eggs. To be sure not. Nothing of the kind. U And we are glad to see the public;.^ I press publishing the news of this young * »: man's devotion; and we are glad to be- ' A lieve that there is a light in the future'* for the much-abused class known aa v mothers-in-law.--Kate Thorn, in New ^ '~g. York Weekly. Will Han £ver Fly?- The giant birds of geology, the dinomis, the extinct. Zealand, some of whi than tea feet hii . 5b_ a« 11:: \ of New Si stood mor^, e most of then®,' the great ostrich is a running, not a flying, bird. Th# albatrosses and condors, giants among the winged fowl of the present day, are only relatively gigantic, since the weights of their bodies are trifling com-; pared with those of human beings an j their lofty flights, even if matched by the ascending powers of balloons, ai<e unsuited to the respiratory faculties of man. Helmholtz has observed that, thoug many small birds which are granivor ous fly swiftly, the great birds that are potent on the wing are fish and flesh eaters, not needing extensive organs of t digestion for their concentrated food*. He thinks it therefore probable that ia - ^ the model of the great Alpine eagle, nature has attained the utmost limit - T that can l»e attained, with muscles for ,1 the working organs and conditions oi d nourishment as favorable as possible for the size of a creature which is k» raise itself by wings and maintain itself for any time high in the air. , V? Under these circumstances he con- dudes that it is scarcely to be consid- ^ J ered probable that man, with the most, ^ skillfully contrived mechanism, to bo > moved by his own muscular power," $ would ever be able to raise his ownjt'^psi weight into the air and sustain it them ^ for any time worth speaking of. When,' ^-J vessels filled with gas lighter than air " are employed to supply the lifting power, and yet other vessels are em- ployed with some storage |orce to take the place of our own (^muscular re-SiiiPil sources, the consequential increase of&V^V'; bulk and weight in the complex ma-< * ' chine must indeed greatly discourage* ^ human aspirations and longings for tho ' invention of artificial wings. ^^-1 The desire involved, however little it r may be formulated, in those aspirations, r is for the capacity to cleave the air like-: a merlin or to skim over the waters likef. • ; $ a swift, and for ability to do this or something like it freely on the impulse'**^ of the moment, not after consultation w with the gas works and a fee to the electrical engineer.--The Edinburgh „ / Eeview. 1 Woman's Greatest Mlitak*.. , A class in natural history was called V.V up for recitation. The teacher talked , v to them awhile about the relations of|$,|^ friendship between man and animab r-H', and then asked a girl: fe "Do animals really possess the senti­ ment of affection?" •; . "Yes, almost always," said the little ' \- girl. "And now," said the teacher, turning <" y* to a little boy, "tell me what animal * has the greatest natural man?" "Woman!" said the boy. $ ••-Mpi A Little Off On His freneli. "Papa," inquired a newly elected Congressman's little daughter over a French lesson, "what is the French for vi for a battle horse?" t: ̂ "A war horse you mean, don't you?" "I guess so, papa." - "Of course you do, daughter. The French for that is horse du combat," „ i . ftnd the gentleman from the First , , stroked his whiskers with prideful dig- ^ nity and went on with his newspaper. The trouble with tho people who are all the time saying that they think they . *f>" are going to die is that tbey don't ' A MAN who has never been a»haw>^4 . ,/*»! of himself has never been well intro* duoed to himselt '41 - t r i i , -•y_ u -?: fr 1 . ~ "" ; ' % 'v * - 1 >- . v*