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laiadealef 1 WW 8LYICE, Editor and PuWIihsr. ILLINOIS, '«%* ONWARD. viWu, roll onward. o billowy years I *StaJte from my heart these «ad doubting* uri fwU'-; * T*k« from my life this dnrk shadow of pain. Onward, roll onward--thia lifo i» BO vain. I Mil so tired of dnrluiesB and uight. Tired, so Tired of waiting lor light; Tirol of flowers that bloom 10 decay, Tfrnd of summer that pnsseth away. Onward, roll onward O hasten nloiig. Bring to my woul some sveut echo Of SOttft; Briut; on your billows Kime cure for thin iNdn, Takfl ine where life will be gladness again. On wil, roll onwHid, 0 griel-lacleu years 1 I tin NO tired of tngui-b and tears. Tired of waiting and longing for rest. Tired of trying to feol "It is boat." Onward, roll onward, O ooenn of !i{»! Taho me away from earth's feverish strife, Bwr me away over waves dashing high. Onward to where the sweet "still waters" lit, I am so tired, so tired of pain. Tired of waiting for loved ones in vain. Tired of longing for voices sweet, Tired of list i ning for liule feet. Onward, roll onward, O swift rolling V*>«WB! Till in the dist ance the haven appears ; Tear after year rolls along to the shore, Wl ere life ia counted by years never more, "Shine ou t, ye stars, o'er this sorrowful nightl •OB, rolling veaig, to tha "City of Light 1" Bear me aw'av to the beautiful land, Ziaave me, 0 leave me, with yoader bright band. One who is pitiful ruleth the years, "With His own hand He wi'l wij>e away tears; X<ight 111 the evening w ill gleam at last, -After the ocean of life is ail past. --Hearth ami Hall. MANAGING A HUSBAND. Ethel Carroll's Experience at Sucli Was Sat Pleasant. & press from N is due here in an 1x0*0* and a half. Robert will be on the train. I will go to the station and tell them my dream--no, I eannot do that, a They will pronounce my fears the rig- aries of an insane person." £<thet clasped her- "hands nervouwry, "Hadley's bridge is only half a mile from the village," she mused: "it will be a relief to know that the bridge is all right and, in ease there should be any­ thing wrong I can use one of my Chinese lanterns for a signal." Twilight was rapidly merging into the somber shadow of night when Ethel reached the bridge. "Everything seems to be all right," she whispered in a tone of relief. A* her eye$ became more ac­ customed to the gloom, she saw what appeared to be a huge body lying across the track near the center of the bridge. Lighting a match, she glanced at her watch. "No time to go back for help. What shall I do?" The precious moments were passing. With a prayer upon* her lips, Ethel stepped upon the bridge. Slowly and cautiously she felt her way. Once she glunced downward through the cross beams that connected the post of the bridge--she almost lost her footing; with a frightened exclamation she clutched the rough post frantically; with a mighty effort she controlled her swaying body and continued her peril­ ous journey. Creeping on hands and knees she finally reached the object that lay upon the track. Miscreants had fastened two immense logs to the rails with strong wire. Ethei almost shrieked in her despair. "I must warn them," she panted. It seemed an age to Ethel ere she reached the opposite end of the bridge. "Thank Heaven that this is safe," said Ethel, taking the 'I sometimes think that yon hate me. -Well--I--I--do hate you." As tue words passed Ethel Carroll's lips she caught her breath acd a fright­ ened expression replaced the angry .gleam that dashed from her dark eyes. "I am glad that you are honest enough to confers your aversion to me," replied Robert Carroll, frigidly, without glanc­ ing toward the woman whom he had vowed to love and cherish. He rushed from the house, and, hurrying to the depot, jumped upon the train and was soon speeding toward the neighboring city ^f N . "Thus ends my dream of happiness," he muttered bitterly. "Ethel is evi­ dently trying to excel Mrs. Edwards in the art of •managing' a husband, but," pulling his blonde mustache fiercely, "I do not choose to be managed--in that •way." The words, "I do hate you," ikept ringing in his ears. "She shall never say such words to me again," he tnutteifcd determinedly. *Iam glad you have made up your miud to take that European trip, Car­ roll," said Mr. Johnson, the senior mem- l>er of the firm. "You are better fitted to attend to business of that sort than a man of my age. When do you start?" be asked, as he turned to * leave the office. "I have engaged passage on a steamer <hat leaves P street wharf early to-mor- *ow mottling." "Nothing like promptness in matters relating to business," said Mr. Johnson, •pproviugly. During the hour that followed Mr. Johnson's departure Robert wrote a number of business letters, then penned the following missive to his wife: "ETHEL: I shall leave for England early to-morrow morning. You will" receive a 1 allowance during my absence. An iew under the circumstances would painful to boJh of us. Goodnight and PJfe. "ROBEBT." ose dreadful words!" she mur- ' mureiL brokenly. She felt half tempted to follow Robert to his office and ask him to forgive her. She hesitated, and the next moment her evil genius whis­ pered that Robert had been "very ag- Sgrawating," and also hinted that her «JJTO dignity would be compromised if Bhe yielded one inch of the advantage gained. -Airs. Edwards would call me a weak little fool," declared Ethel, emphati- *cally. "She says that Mr. Edwards <would not think of opposing her now." Ethel's brown eyes twinkled and a sil- •erv laugh echoed through the room. The afternoon seemed very long to Ethel. She roamed restlessly from to room and glanced at the clock THE LIME-KILN' CLOB. SOME PAPERS TO BE SENT TO THE LEGISLATURE. SHE WAVES THE LANTERN WILDLY. "OH! HOW HORRIBLE," CRIED ETHEL. little lantern from her pocket. It was the work of a moment to light the small candle, and as the ruddy glare illumed the space around Eihol, she became aware of the fact that ^her slippers had fallen from her feet, her hands were bruised and bleeding, and, as Bhe raised the lantern above her head, a red stream slowly trickled down the white arm from which the sleeve had been rudely torn during her perilous jonrney across the bridge. A rumbling noise is heard, then a sharp, quick whistle sounds upon the air. Ethel realizes that there is not a moment to lose. A hundred yards have been traversed ;the train rounds a curve in the distance; she swings her lantern frantically; the engineer does not see the signal; the brave little woman will be run'dowti. She totters onward, waves the lantern wildly and shrieks aloud in her agony. The signal is seen. A moment later train hands and pas­ sengers crowd around Ethel, who has just sufficient strength left to tell about the bridge ere she sinks into uncon­ sciousness. Robert Carroll as he hurried toward P. St. wharf. Thrusting a dime into the grimy hand of a newsboy, he snatched a morning Herald and boarding the steamer went directly to his state-room. At last the moving of freight, hurrying of footsteps and clanking of chains ceases, and the great mass of wood and iron moves slowly out of the dock, and guided by a busy little tug­ boat, moves majestically down the harbor towards the broad Atlantic. Robert leaves his state-room and going on deck races restlessly to and fro. At the end of half an hour he takes the Herald from his pocket and glances listly through the columns. Suddenly his face blanches, he utters an exc amation, passengers who are in his vicinity gaze at him curiously. The words: "TERRIBLE CALAMITY AVERTED 1 HEUOISM OF THE YOUNG WIFE OF B0BEBT CARKOLL, OF THE FIBM OF JOHN­ SON, CABROLL * CO," danced before his eyes; with a mighty effort he read on, when his eyes rested upon the words: "She thought her husband was on the train and went through the terrible ordeal to save him." He jumped upon his feet and rushed into the presenco of the Captain. A few words explained the situation and an hour later Robert Carroll was trans- I ferred to the returning tug which now carried him safely to tlie wharf from which he had taken his departure ear­ lier in the day. The hours that followed seemed like an eternity to Robert Carroll. As the train approached Hadley's bridge, he pictured in his imagination the slender form of his young wife moving cau­ tiously across the long stretch of trestle work to save the life of the man whom she declared that she hated. "Poor little girl," he murmured ten derly. With eager footsteps he traversed the well-known pathway. His heart beat The Member* of tho Club Hare Idea* of Legislation, and It IA Tlielr Intention to PreMnt Tbetn to t he Men Who Make tlie tawa. E HEY met here dis euvenin'," said Brother Gardner whe.i the meeting had been openod in due form, "to h'ar de reporis of sartin committees an' discuss de same. I may say right here an* now d a t any pusson who frizzles a piece of leather on dat stove, or so fur forgits hisself as to raise an alley winder to see if his dawg am waitin' down dar', is gwine to be fined not less dan fo' thousand dollars. Dar* am sartin things dis club believes to be wrong, an* sartin other things it believes to be right, an'de people of de State of Michigan hev deir eyes on us an' expect us to do our dooty. We will now listen to de report ol de committee on capital punishment." , < E THE REPORT. Sir Johnsburv Jo^es, chirman of thi above committee, reported as follows: "Dey used to hang a pusson in di3 State if dey murdered anybody. I)ey found out dat it ginerallv broke his neok to hang him, an' so dey dun got sorry an' repealed de law. Dis oommittee has gone slow an' looked into de matter very keerfully. It has diskivered dat: "1.--Hanging's, murderer doan' bring his victim back to life. "2.--It doan' atop odder men from oommittin' murder. "3.--But de man who am hung doan' git away to kill somebody else. "4--Nor de State of Michigan doan' hev to board and clothe him de rest of his life as a reward. "While your committee doan' want to hurt nobody's feelinV, it would mildly an' modestly express its belief dat de day has cum in Michigan when two pussons are murdered in cold blood fur every one sheep stolen, an' dat it is time de crime was made onerous if not odious." A RECOMMEND On motion of Waydown Bebee, the report was accepted, and then a vigor­ ous discussion took place as to what the club should recommend to the Legisla­ ture. The following was finally decided on: "If, arter a murderer has had de ben­ efit of a jury who can't read nor write-- a good lawyer-- fo' or five witnesses who will swar to anything---de sympathy of the public--a plea of temporary insan­ ity --if he ar' convicted arter all this it would be well to hang him. We recom­ mend, however, dat de rope be kivered wid cloth, an' dat he be^a&jig- as softly as possible, an' dat Ot least fo'teen hacks be engaged fur de luoerai pro­ cession." AS TO DIVORCES. Judge Circumstance Lancaster, cj man of tne committee appointed quire into the cause and effect of divi and suggest such changes as deemei pedient, reported as follows: "Your committee hev traced divorces back to a period ober 3,000 v'ars ago. De chief cause Heems to be dat husband ah' wife can't agree. Soipe folks think dis „ fact am powerful queer, but we doan'. If juries can't agrpe--if nations can't agree--if churches, societies, la­ dies an*' clubs bust up bekase dey can't agree--if we differ in politics, religion, customs an' habits, why should it be ex­ pected dat husband an' wife must agree ? If I hev a business partner wid whom I can't get along do oourts gin f'l Mi" ••very few minutes to assure hereelf that the hands were really moving towards the hour of Robert's home coming. 43eatiug herself in the commodious -depths of a great easy chair she clasped Iter hands above her head and mused on the events of the morning. Suddenly •he hears the rumbling of a train of cars. Bhe sees Hadley's bridge in the distance. The train moves rapidly--it is the even- tag express from N . The engine. , <d*she« against an obstruction--quivers j tumultuously as he crossed the thresh like a human being in distress, and tlie ( old of the oozy little sitting-room. Ethel next instant the whole train lies wiecked «pon the rocks forty leet below the flridge that spans the ravine. "It is Robert's train aud I have not f§aken back those cruel words!" wfailed £thel, wringing her hands. "You do not care, you hate him," ^ whispers a mocking voice. "Robert is dead and lie will never . know," cried the young wife, as she ran towards the scene of the accident. She ruet him with a glad cry: "Oh, Robert I knew that you would come back to me," she exclaimed joyously. "For give me, Robert, and forget if you can the cruel words that have caused us so much buffering. Ethel raised her hand, all bruised and 'Scarred,' and gently stroked her beauti fui brown tresses now so thickly streaked with Biiver. Before the expiration of another week BROTHER GARDNER IN THE CHAIR. and others spoke very strongly on the question of adopting the report, but Brother Gardner arose and said: "Dat report will be sot down oa an' laid on the tablfc indefinitely. It's too Boon. It asks fur too much. If we eoulu iiov all dose things asked far ia dat report we'd consider ourselves so clus to Heaven dat nobody would turn out to Thursday evenin' prayer mcetins. I shall instruct de seekretary to say dat it is de sense of dis club dat de circu­ lation orter be increahed about fo'teen millyon dollars a y'ar uutil eberv cull'd head of fam'ly ia able to hev a rubber doah mat on de top step an' cuckoo clock in do parlor. De meetin' will now be all broke up, to assemble agiu at the call of de seokretary."--Detroit JFVee Press. Humor In Courtship. Sevap long years ago, said Eli Per­ kins, Jonas Harris began to "keep com­ pany" with Hannah Bell, and yet in all that time he had not mustered courace to propose a certain important question. His house was lonely and waiting; hers was lonely enough to be vacated, and still Jonas could not bring himself to speak the decisive words. Many a time he walked up to her door with the cour­ age of a lion, only to find himself a very mouse when she appeared. He had never failed in dropping in to cheer her loneliness on Christmas evening, and this year he presented himself as usual. The hearth was swept,the fire burned brightly aud Miss Hannah was adorned with smiles and a red bow. Conversa­ tion went on serenely for an hour or so, and then, when they both sat paring red apples with great contentment, Jonas began to call upon his recollec­ tions. "It's a good many years, ain't it, Han­ nah, since you and I sat here together?" "Yes, a good many." "I wonder if I bhall be setting here this time another year?" "Maybe I shan't be at home. Per­ haps I shall go out to spend the even­ ing myself," said Hannah, briskly. This was a blow indeed, and Jonas felt it. "Where?" he gasped. "Ob, I don't know," she returned, be­ ginning to quarter her apple. *'I might be out to tea--over to your house, for instance." "But there wouldn't be anybody over there to get supper for you." "Maybe I could get it myself." "So you could! so you could!" cried Jonas, his eyes beginning to sparkle. "But there would be nobody to cook the pies and cake beforehand." "Maybe I could cook 'em." At that moment Jonas' plate fell be­ tween his knees to the earth and broke in two, but neither of them noticed it "Hannah," cried he, with the pent-up emphasis of seven long years, "could you bring yourself to think of getting married V" A slow smile curved her lips; surely she had been given abundant time for consideration. "Maybe I could," she returned de­ murely, and Jonas has admired himself to this day for leading up to the subject so cleverly. Here is another way of handling the same subject. One picture is true, the other imaginary. Her eyes shone a beautiful, joyous ight, when Augustus leaned forward and said,-- "Julia, I have something confidential to tell you." "What is it, Augustus?" she asked in a low, silvery voice--a kind of German silvery voice. "Weft, Julia, to be frank with you, I think that under some circumstances I might love yon. Now, do yon love me?" "Yes, Augustus, I do love you--you know I do," and then she fiung her ala­ baster arms around his neck. "I am very glad, Julia," he said, "for I like to be loved." "Well, Augustus?" But Augustus never said another word. Fashionable fellows never say more than that nowadays. Alas, they were never married. Moral--Girls, never tell a fellow that you love him till he has asked you to bo his wife. A <>ood Turn. "Feller come along to my place abou.t a year ago," said a Wayne County farmer on the market yesterday, "and introduced himself as an agent for a book to be published ia about two months. It was a sort of pioneer history of Michigan, and he wanted to put in my wood-cut and write up my •history." "Yes." "Well, I didn't care muchabout it, you know, but as his terms "Hfere low I kinder thought it might be all right. The old woman got onto the scheme and she wanted her picture in." "Yes." "Wall, the boys said it would look pizen mean to leave them out, and so I concluded to put the five of us in. Feller said he'd group us, you know. I was to go in the middle, with the old woman and tho boya kinder wobbling around in a circle." "Yes." "Feller stayed all day took down some and carried o£f $25 and our pictur's." "And you haven't seen him since?" "No," "Nor received the book?" "No." ®. "He must have been a fraud." "Not a doubt of it, but I'm kinder He hadn't been AN ANCIENT TORM fcNTOR. me a way out, but some folks make a great hullabaloo bekase de courts ar' asked to Keperate a couple who make life miserable fur each odder. We would reccommend as follows: 1. No courtship of less'n three years. "2. No lyin' on either side. "3. Ebery new-married counl^ has got to move right off by deirselves to Dakota. Among the members of the club dis- notes, cussing the motion to adopt the above was Judge Comedown Carter, who said: "I ar' satisfied dat divorce orter be made easy arter sartin condishuns are fulfilled--such condishuns as dat com­ mittee has jist reported, but wlieneber a wife gits a divorce it orter be de law i glad of it, after all. dat she leave at least $25 in cash in de I gone an hour when Bill begun saying house fur de husband to git along wid i as how his pictur' was to look the peart- 1 * 1 1 t f 1 ! 1 . _ • 1 M ! I 1 i l . 1 1 - t i ' . - i f rh« JLIttl* P1M an Inaeot of t'ludi Hm- novrn. That active little tormentor, the. nea, ts a beast of classic renown. History relates many incidents with which he. was connected and ancient mythology tells us how Diana, to rescue the sister 3f Orion from Pan, who had become nn&mored of her. turned the girl into a flea. In the writings of the Grecians he is frequently referred to and from all that can be learned he was an im­ portant individual long before -the Christian era. Later writers use fre­ quent reference to him and in 1579, a books of poems on the fiea was pub­ lished in France. A renowned traveler and writer mentions his meeting fleas for sale at Venice and Augsburg with silver collars around their necks and how the ladies purchased them for watch charms. Other writers tell of marvelous feats performed bv tame fleas. There was one who drew a golden chariot, to which he was har­ nessed with a golden harness. Another one "dragged a silver cannon twenty- four timers his own weight, mounted on wheels, and manifested no alarm when a charge of gunpowder was fired off. But stories of this kind find few be­ lievers in our enlightened age and lead us to doubt the veracity of writers of other days. There are several kinds of fleas, the best known being the one which thrives in barns and in houses where slovenly housekeepers are found. He is human­ ity's bitter foe and never lets an op- p o r t n n i t y t o fasten his sucker into a man slip by. In cold cli­ mates he may be kept under sub­ j e c t i o n , b u t i n countries where the climate i s warm, man finds it hard to keep HEAD OF THE DOG him away. The FLEA. naked eye can discern nothing remarkable about the fiea, but place him under a magnifying "ass, and you can see what a queer- looking creature he is. lie has only one eye, but he can see in every direc­ tion with it. Behind this eye are two small cavities, covered with spines or strong hairs, evidently the stigmata or breathing holes. Immediately under the eye is the flea's instrument of tor­ ture, the sucker. It is composed of seven parts. When it is to be put to the use for which nature designed it, the flea stands erect and boldly Btrikes the sucker HEAD OF THE CAT He will, stand FLEA. < and suck as long as he is permitted, for he voids as fast as he imbibes. In the leg the flea's strength lies and it is marvelous what he can do aud how high he can leap with it. It is very elastic and is connected with the body by tendons resembling wire springs. When about to jump the leg is drawn up as close to the body as possible and then shot out. The leap is nearly al­ ways upward. The sand flea breeds anywhere, and feeds upon man when it can.. It is easily domesticated and breeds freely in dogs. It is found in every country. Its favorite breeding place is in the sand of warm climes, whence its name. The egg is dropped in the sand by the mother flea; in a few days small white worms come forth; several days elapse, when these worms spin a pretty cocoon, and in about sixty hours there comes forth a perfect insect. The sand flea's head resembles that of the grasshopper. Above the thighs are two large scales above four smaller ones on each side. These have two uses. They are used as wings and as shields to the tendons of the legs. These fleas can leap 200 times the length of their bodies. It has been said "the cat has no fleas." This is untrue. The cat has fleas and the most interesting family of fleas. The mother cat flea in the au­ tumn and winter, glues her eggs to the hair of the cat; in spring and summer they are dropped loosely in |he fur. The egg is the prettiest little thing imagineable, fairer than a pearl, and perfectly translucent, but they are barely perceptible on a black gound by the naked eye. She deposits nearly until he kiu strike a new job." Alter some further discussion the re­ port was adopted. FINANCIAL. Prof. Singletree White, chairman of the committee on finauce, reported as follows: est, and them three boys fit about it for ahull month. Then theole woman got an idea that her pictur' orter be in the middle instead of mine, and fur six weeks we never spoke a word. Then I our two nay burs got down on us 'cause ! the agent didn't call on them, and in "Your committe has traced de use of oneway and another we have been money back to 4,000 y'ars B. C., an' made miserable. If the book had cum . .. «^ashes down an almost perpendicular ! Robert Carroll and his wit« were on t>i©eii>ic£. Sharp stones pierce through j their way to Europe, and Ethel never •" «er !tin slippers and her hands are torn j knew that Robert had planned to go - sfcud bleeding, She throws hjerseif be-1 alone.--M. A. ThurstQn in The Home, . -eide a prostrate figure. "Robert, Robert, ( #peak to me," she cries, frantically en- s IT is not generally known that Henry <#eavoring to stanch the blood that flows i "Vlil, Ua, gcU no rtwer than 7j,uu0 rob % ' jfmm a wound in her husband's temple, j ber-, thieves, and vagabonds and that v;,' **Robert, speak to me," the pleads, but j "Good Queen Bess," doubtless affected ?' »tlte tiale lips are silent. " by her r.>yal father's ferocious example, §J ' "Oh! how horrible!" cried Ethel, was in the latter part of her reign re- r. * ^springing from the chair where slie had sponsible for the slaughter of 300or 4=00 Ik- fallen asleep. "Thank God, it was only \ criminals yearly. Turning to the year sa dream." She shuddered and turned |§f pft'.e at the remembrance of the hor- H/J rible dream. "If there shouldt>ean ac- jwV \ cident," she murmurs, tremulously. "I * am i.ervous. It was only a dream, and *.41' jet"--she glances at the French clock fiuutteL "The ex- has not been able to find dat de poo' man eber had any mo' dan he has got to-day. It ar^ our opinyun dat sun thin' orter be done. Dis gwine around dead- broak isn't only hurtful to de feelins, but werrv incouvenieut. We wonld dar- fore recommend as follers: "1. Expand de currency Until de basket slopg ober. "2. Coin 'nuff silver so dat ebery i man will hev to hev an extra hind pocket to carry his share. "3. Make a day's work six honrs long, und de pay $6, but doan' hev too many of 'em in one week. "4. Bring de price of whitewashin' up at least '200 per cent, but knock de price of meat an' 'taters down to de werry lowest notch. along there'd hev bin no holdiu* any of us." "But it won't come." "I guess not. I may meet the feller around here some day, and if 1 do I shall walk up to him and say: " 'Put 'er thar, young man! You are $25 ahepd, but by swindling me you hev f^Cvied the hull durned fam'ly fromfchawin' each other into splinters 1 --Detroit Free Press. 159(5, for example, we find that in the county of Somerset alone forty per­ sons were executed, thirty-five burned in the h«md, and thirty-seven severely whipped. f THE civil engineer is not monarch fo all he supeys. l'liotogi-Hpli Taken by Moonlight. Chamberburg (Pa.) Public Opinion, Several weeks ago J. Will Barbour, the South Main street photographer, sue ceeded in securing a bit of scenery by moonlight. The night the effort was made the moon was full and the ground , covered by snow, which aided greatlv Fix it so dat ebery cull d pusson in the taking of the picture. The plate in,dis kentry who w&nts to wear di.v I wa9 exposed one hour, just 30,000 times monds an' ride in his kerridge kin do jonger than necessary in the daytime. so, but i£ ridm' around makes his back ache, danjl* it so he kiu open a bank champagne ha wants ibee. Shindig Watkins, wfcif,'-' Giveadam Joaes HEUR DEUTCHER--Waiter! Cham pagneund glasses! Waiier--Dry, sir Herr Deutcher--Nein! Zwei, you blag rascal I You nuixln't t'ink you in it vas Bonner wetter! THE SAND FLEA. two hundred eggs at a time, runmug hither and thither during tlie process. In a few days small white worms come jut. Sometimes in six days they will go into cocoon; then again it takes two weeks, owing to the condition of the animal they are on. In six weeks' time the flea arrives at maturity. Then it commences to propagate. The worm casts its skin three times, and spins its cocoon with its body in a circle, appear­ ing to use its tail as much as its head. The cocoon is a charming piece of work­ manship. Conceive the finest flask of glass dotted with gold, tinged at the edges with a delicate pearl-color, the little worm, resembling a strip of roee- leaf in color, reposing therein--all this the most minute arrangement possible. The flea has a most singular manner of getting through the hair. Three legs keep the hair parted while the other three make progress. They travel wonderfully fast; and unless you follow them with a glass you could not perceive this peculiar walk. The dog flea's habits are similar. Of course there are many differences in all of them, but such as are only percepti­ ble to the student The dog flea is shorter and loader, the legs are stouter: it is nearly black, while the cat flea is rather red than black. UrWl.;«t Doomed. An ingenious New York lady who has a fondness for scientific experiments is reported to have lateley turned her love for electrical engineering to practical account. She was without a servant, and determined to try whether she could not light tlie kitchen fire by means of a tame flash of electricity, so to speak, and then let it burn up before she got up herself. She prepared wires to an from her bed-head to tho kitcheu grate, thus completing an electrio cur- reut with the aid of a small battery, and all that then remained to be done was to so "build" vthe fire that the Inaterials Bhould become easily ignitable. The wires were connected by a piece of plat­ inum, and round this there was loosely * wrapped what firework makers call "lightning paper." Over this again was strewn some tissue paper, upon it placed a wheel of firewood and on the latter the coal. At 7 in the morning, when the fire had to be lit, the current was sent from the scientist through the wires. The platinum lit the lightning paper, then the tissue, the tissue the firewood, and the firewood the coal. >v hen she descended to the kitchen the kettle was boiling and the place com­ fortably warm. She thinks she has done something towards the solution of the servant girl question. • Searpolojjy. Net long ago people who had Setting terter with which tc amuse themselves were greatly interested in the so-called science of palmistry, by means of which they assumed to read the character of a person from the hand. Now another very curious character- reading "science" has been discovered or invented in Switzerland. A learned doctor of Basle has communicated to a medical journal a full account of Bis science of Scarpology, which consists oj "knowing men by the aid of their old shoes." Well-worn shoes, this authority main­ tains, afford a much better means of reading the character than the hand, the face or the handwriting. It is pos­ sible, he says, to perceive in an old shoe infallible signs of certain good or bad traits. If the heel and the sole are worn in the same degree, the wearer of the boot is a business or business-like . person, energetic and well-informed; or if a woman, either a good wife and mother or capable of becoming one. If the shoe is "run over" toward the outer edge of the sole, the wearer, so declares this science, has a leaning to­ ward the fantastic and adventurous. If it is "ruu iu" or worn out upon the in­ ner edge of the sole, irresolution and weakness are indicated. One might obtain, no doubt, a very interesting account of himself by com­ bining the observations of the profess­ ors of all the different character-reading "sciences." First the phrenologist would read him according to his bumps. Then the physiognomist would look him over,and decide by his features what manner o 1 man he was. Next the palmister would cast his "horoscope" from an inspection of hie hands. A copy of his favorite poem, written in his own handwriting, would enable the chirogrophist to determine all his peculiarities from his penman­ ship. Last of all, he would send a pair ol his old shoes to the scarpologist. Combining all their reports, ho would probably learn that he was an erratic, steady-minded, even-tempered, irasci­ ble, industrious, lazjfc bold-spirited, timid, affectionate, cold-blooded, and altogether contradictory sort of person. But he probably knew that before.-- Youth's Companion. A Queer Kxprrieuce. Who would think that a railroad en­ gine that rested in a round house here yesterday was stopped on its way tc Charlotte to prevent it from running over two deer, that, charmed by the big yellow glare of its headlight, Btood on the track and waited until the engine stopped within ten feet of them : asks the Charlotte, N. C., News. Such a thing did occur. It was on the Caro­ lina Central Railroad, and Frank Lewie is the engineer who came within an ace of bringing a load of venison to Char­ lotte. The Charlotte bound passenger train, Capt. George Welsh, conductor, pulled out of the depot at Wilmington at the usual time Tuesday evening, made the regular stop at Hilton bridge, another stop at Cape Fear and Yadkin Valley crossing, and was just getting under way for Meares Bluff when Engineer Lewis saw a dark object ahead ou the track. He at first thought it was a mau, but as it did not move he seized the whistle cord and gave the cattle alarm. The object grew bigger but re­ mained motionless, and the engitieei threw on the brakes. The train slowed up abruptly, and as it drew near the object the engineer saw something that astonished hiin. There just in front ol him was a big buck deer with a fine spread of antlers. The buck was stand­ ing in the center of the track staring di­ rectly into the headlight, and just be­ hind him, standing across the track and looking at the engine over the buck's shoulders was a beautiful doe. The en gine got within ten feet of them when its nearness threw the rays of the head­ light over them, and the moment that occurred they bounded from the track and disappeared in the darkness. The engineer was almost unstrung by the novel experience, and he and the fireman talked deer all the way to Charlotte. Had he known what the objects ahead of him were, he could have put on steam and bagged a big mess of venison. Strong Men. On March 28, 1841, Thomas Thomp­ son lifted three barrels of water, weigh­ ing together 1,83(5 pounds. He also put an iron bar on his neck, seized hold ol its two euds, aud bent it until the latter met. On another occasion he raised with his teeth a table six feet long, sup­ porting at its furthest end a weight oi 100 pounds. He also tore without seri­ ous effort a rope of a diameter of twe inches and lifted a horse over a bar. Some years ago a negro appeared in London,"who, with one hand and his arm out straight, lifted from the ground a chair on which was seated a full-grown man having ou his lap a child. It is on record that a German called Buchholz lifted with his teeth a cannon weighing about 200 pounds, and fired it off in that position. While performing at Epernay in France the same feat, the barrel of the gun burst. Miraculously he was not killed, although several o] the fragments were thrown over fifty yards away. There are stories of other strong met who did not appear in public. Abutchei lived in South Holland who killed calves by strangling them. A Dutch count, it a private entertainment, bent an iror bar by beatiug it with his right hauc against his left arm, protected by » leather bandage, bending it afterwarc straight again by beating it the othoi way. Charles Louvier, a carpenter of Paris, found it child's play to roll a tin basil between his lingers into a cylinder. Or one occasion he carried off a soldier or guard who had gone to sleep iu th« sentry-box, depositing both on a low churchyard wall close by. An equallj amusing story is told of a Dane, Kundson, a locksmith, who, whil' standing in a window on the grounc floor, lifted with one hand half a bul lock from the shoulder of a butcuei who was toiling past with his load. Cham ber38 Journal. "Is THIS your first appearance' in court of justice?" asked Justice ^""3 of a vagrant. "No, judge, it is the last tiipn thus far--how ia it with yourt»eii r LOOTING GREAT ROOKERIES. Tons of Sea Bird Rfp oi| tb« 7u*Uo« Inland* Stolen by Powhera. * "' It is one of the ironies of fate, sayt. the San Francisco Chronicle, that whilit . Great Si itau rigidly protects even ih| smallest birds on her own territory during the nesting season, she does not disdain to lay violant hands on th®f" mammals of a neighboring friendly- power; and, on the other hand, thai friendly power, to wit, the United States, looks calmly on while its wil#.» •fowl are decimated withia sight of it* .. shores by aliens and even by its owjfc citizens. v For it so happens that the sea 17 and land birds which annually visit th# Farallon group for the purpose of re- , producing their species have a foe to. reckon with whose grasp is as prutlile^' as it is fatal. Some idea may be forrnei of the annual decimation of California^ and North Pacific sea birds when it ii , stated that 3,000,000 of eggs wens brought into the San Francisco market from the Farallones in four years, and that iu an immense majority of case# the parent bird produces but a singl® egg--none more than three. Even at the present time the average import of • of hea-birds' eggs from the Farallones JtiK 130,000 annually. B^y courtesy they arfc called the eggs of the "murre." Am.:, a matter of fact the true "murre" oar "razor bill" is a tolerably exclusive in- habitant of the seabord of the Atlantic ocean north of Cape Henry. The Farallon rookeries afford, even under the existing conditions of rapid depopulation and barefaced, unchecked spoliation, a wonderful example of th* prolific power of nature on the shore# of a sub-tropical land. The principal island-- the South Farallon--on which the light-house is situated, may rtt® short of portable water in every dry season, but the light-house people would never starve for want of animal food. Nevertheless, the birds are gradually deserting the island. The bones of nu­ merous species of Pacific coast birds rarely or never seen now are common ia the sheltered caves of the group. The various species of auks and puffins, the gullemots, the cormorants are common, and the plovers and petrels still breed on the island, but other California birds, once quite familiar visitors to the group, have sought abodes less disturbed by the egg-poacher, the ornithologist, aud the pot-hunter. Of all the birds on the group the puffins are the most picturesque and eo- tertaiuing to the visitor and ornitholo­ gist. The auk family is, however, the principal contributor to the egg- poacher's wallet. Just as soon as the "merry month May" approaches there is a stir amo^ the small schooner* and sailing-vessels in San Francisco bay, and silently, "like a thief in the night," each skipper works his way out between the heads of the "far Faral­ lones." His crew, mostly composed of Greeks and Italians, with a liberal sprinkling of water-front castaways, effect a quiet, unperceived landing on the South Farallon, usually on the Sugar-Loaf rock, to the north-west, be*-" cause that is the spot where the birds breed earliest. The cliffs are quite rugged, and with a perpendicular ol nearly 180 feet, so the sport is no ohild'a play, and accidents are not iufrequent. Each egg-hunter is furnished with ft shirt of special construction, provided with an open front for stowing^way the eggs, and a bed of soft seaweed about the waistband for the eggs tp rest on. A good hand will piok up and get away with 200 eggs a day in this manner. The eggs of the "murre," so called, are quite familiar objects in the grocery stores of San Francisco about the end of May or the beginning of June. The earliest eggs are laid two or three weeks before this, but the poachers usually break them up for fear of bringing addled or rotten eggs to market. It is a curious circumstance about the annual importation ot the eggs of the murre and its kindred, that the taste of consumers becomes sated. Iu the abstract these eggs are very cheap, and contain an immense amount of nu­ tritious matter in a small compass. But the rank, fishy taste can not be banished by the highest culinary skill, and the inferenco is that the bulk of the eggs that find their way into the market are put to some use of which the public ia not aware. Knbbit'a Foot Philosophy. Fashion is the relentless Herod of modern times. Facts teach us the fidelity of all dogs; fiction records this trait in a few wo­ men. God is in a violet though you may not find Him in a sermon. Religion is what we believe ; Pagan­ ism is what somebody else believes. Do you love truth, right ana virtue? Here is a tear for you my friend, you are fated to be unhappy. A little girl is the fairest flower on God's foot-stool. Love is a will-o-the-wisp fluttering over an impassable morass. Some men are misers of money; others of cheerfulness. I saw a beggar on a muck-heap; some one had placed a lily on his breast; so rests Christ's memory on the bosom of this sodden world.--Ankansaw Trav­ eler. Her Happy Quotation. At one of the teachers' institutes held in the northern part of this State, a rule was in force thai whoever entered the morning session late should pause at the door and recite a passage of Scripture, a quotation from some poet or other expression of an idea, for the edification of those present at the _ ses­ sion. There was present at the session a plain 1 ittle old maid, who was continually saying and doing inappropriate things. It seemed to come natural to her.^ She was late one morning, and pausing on the threshold she electrified those with­ in by remarking suavely. I love those who love me, and those who seek me early shall find me!" Dad for Heart. In Java the woodpeckers bore iuto the telegraph poles, deceived by the buzzing sound made by the wires into the belief that insects are concealed in the wood. In Norway tho woodpeckers have teen found to bore into the ixtles; but more curious is the fact that in Nor­ way bears have torn away the large stones placed at the base of the poles, deceived by the sound into thinking that bees and their store of honev were to ba found beneath. Starboard and JLarbnard. The Italians derive "starboard" from questaborda, "this side." and "larboard" from quella borda, f that side." Ab­ breviated these two phrases appear as sta borda and la borda. The close semblance caused so many mistakes that by order of the British admirality "larboard" is now thrown overboard and. "port" substituted.