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•KoZOBMpOT* ISP »leisurely, cheerful habit o them.--Youth's Companion. wms> Wv-r^% VAN SLYKE, CHH*r and PuMsHr. HEREDITY. , . ;^yn"£' .jnr FTAA •whkklkb wr&ea®A £here Is nothing we cannot overcome. Say not thy evil instinct is inherited, fcrtfiat some trait inborn makes thy life forlorn . . ^ in4 calls down panlsbnaot tfcal Is not merited. ;®aek of thy parents nncl grandparent! lies , * The Great Eternal Will 1 That, too, to thine ?i Inheritance, strong, beautiful. devine, : w®uro lever of success for one who tries, *rv np thy faults with this great lever, Willi ! However deeply bedded in propensity. Jpoweter firmly set, I tell thee, firmer yet ,1^ la that vast power that comes from truth's & immensity. Yhon art a part of that strange world. I say I _ r Its forces lie within thee, stronger fa* i• • ^Tlrnn all thy mortal hins and frailties atf, f Believe thyself divine and watch and jmy. Chere is no noble height thou can'st not " climb: ; 4 All triumphs may be thlae in time's futor- •-ji, ity \?if whatsoe'er thy fa nit thou doit not faint or , i: halt, • v B u t l e a n u p o n t h e s t a f f o f G o d ' s s e c u r i t y . i ifcarth has no claim the soul cannot contest; s- Know thyself part of the eternal source. / _ ^ i : And naught can stand before thy spirit s force; She soul's divine inheritance is best. |§£ SILENT WINNER. " *One of the fine-it men on the road Was Erne.st Barbour. He was liked tremendously bv the boys and im­ mensely respected. You see he was •one of those chaps who are straight as a string, write home regularly, don't -drink, or go in for any luxury in tlie shape cf a pet vice. That, in itself, wasn't why he was so generally liked -and respected. It was chiefly because he did not, like most good men, set 'himself up as sign-post, pointing heaven­ ward--like one of those fingers yon see •t cross-roads indicating the direction •or warning "Look Out for the Train." He didn't allow enough familiarity to make contempt a possibility, but" his friendly cheerfulness was a line bracer for many a downhearted poor chap. He never threw money away, but there wasn't a hard-up man on the road who •didn't know he'd get a dollar from Bar­ bour if he had it Somehow he never ased to talk about his home or his family affairs. Guess he was the kind of fellow who thinks all that sort of thing •acred. But one day he did. And it was terrible. •You know 'the boys, try, as a rule, to make a good town for Sunday. Thej day is long enough anywhere, but ir you're in a place where you can get a fine dinner and are pretty sure of meet­ ing a crowd of your comrades it's a eight pleasanter. One of our favorite Sunday towns is Hastings, Neb. Bed Cloud used to be, and 1 struck there one Saturday in September. Barbour was there, and two other men we knew well came in. We had a room to, our­ selves, and after a while we be ang cards and smoking. Bar /neither one nor the other, bat (to be enjoying himself a^ *A knock came to the; *Barbour opened '«toessenger boy wit, "-boar gianced at '4&0 book, aiiJ used, was that he had no one belonging to him of whom she reminded nim. The rest of us had a sister, or a child, or a niece that she made us think of. And we felt the happier and the better meeting 'the daughter of the drummers,' as we came to call her. She brought good luck, we fancied. I know I waa always better Off after seeing her--ex­ cept once. "Every now and then Barbour would take her home, and when we would see her next she'd have a new dress, or the loose curls would have been brushed into braids, or she would be taller >r a little more shy and quiet than before. There was always some change. The boys used to bring her candy and oranges and books as formerly, for we didn't quite realize that she was grow­ ing up. One day I ran across. Barbour at the new hotel in Hastings--Dildine's. "'Where's Verne?' I asked. " *At school. Her people said I would spoil her, racing her around the coun­ try. The pressure was too strong. I had to give in. She has been with fne on the road five years. She was 12 last month.' "You haven't any idea the change that made. Once in three or four months was all I used to see her, but the chance of suddenly, in a oar or ho­ tel parlor, looking down on the sweet, grave, little face and seeing in the swift glad smile what affectionate thoughts the ohild harbored for yon, was enough to make a man endeavor to live up to her estimate of him. I wasn't the only one who felt that way. There were half a dozen men who used to fix their run to tally with Barbour's as far as. possible. All that was ended now. The years went by, three, four, five of them. I kept pegging away steadily, got a raise, had put by some money. And sometimes I'd think I would screw up courage to go to Creston and see Verne, who must be quite a young lady now-- and-- perhaps "Weill Never mind. A man will make a fool of himself once in a while, you know. Abont that time I ran across Barbour. He seeired happier than he had since in the old days be­ fore his wife died. 'My last trip, Bill­ ings,' he confided exultantly. 'I'm go­ ing to quit the road. Verne is through school now. She will keep house for me. Drop in "and see us when you're our way.' "Gratefully I accepted. And I man­ aged to chance their way before very long. They had a cozy house and were very cordial and glad to see me. "Verne was prettier than ever, was tall and slender and hi curly yellow hair knotted head. She had on soj shimmery dress that wj ing. The brown brilliant thru ev< dash of color was, I nol mond on She ws§' so princess of remembering tin watcheB and •re faint There tering dia- te lett hand, ly, so like the >ry, that I blushed, used to buy her chocolate mice and d a Bar- signed ray. «, not pay- eard Barbour iff v ; !•* II1'- "k • t'" p-.; It i"' (I ite;.: • '$*:• went ny at. oar at he xiMpfeeling back against the wall like a drunken man. We were on our feet in a second. Duke Preston picked up the dispatch. He read it silently and passed it to us: •"CBESTON. Ia.--To Ernest Barbour. the -TBoys' Home, Red Cloud, Neb.: Your wife •died of heart-disease this morning. Had snot been ILL Wire us. I -- DAVID BABBOUB. Til tell you we didn't think any more ™of poker then. Barbour went all to \piecfts. I never in my life saw anything like it. I never want to again. I sup­ pose that is the way with those quiet, •elf-contained, equable men. When they lose control of themselves they lose it more utterly than those accus­ tomed to outbreaks. He cried, and moaned, and prayed, raved! For the time Deing he was stark, staring crazy. From what he said we gathered he had been awfully in love with his wife and ideally happy. They had one child, a little girl--Verne was her name. We beard all about them both. I tell you % man doesn't bare his heart, especially S tnan like Barbour, unless he is mad. "Well, one of us packed his portman­ teau, another went for a hack, and be­ tween us we got him to the train. Then we Bhook hands with him silently and filed out. "We saw no more of him for six tnonths. When next I met him it was •again at Bed Cloud. He had a child "With him, a Blim little mite with a white face, curling, yellow hair, big brown 3'ea, and a beautiful smile. She was 1 in black and there was crape on her 4*ess. " 'My little girl,' he explained. 'She 4CPes everywhere with me now. I can'. <bear to let her out of my sight since--' "His lips quiveifed and he turned . "And she did go everywhere with ^ Mm. She was the gentlest, most sensi we little creature the Lord ever made, She never was noisy or capricious or unreasonable. She accepted all the ex igencies of travel with the calnf of l philosopher. She was very friendly with the boys, but, like her father, she pos aessed a quiet dignity that they re­ spected and admired. I don't want to ®ive you the impression that Bhe was •One of those goody-goody Sunday-school- fjfook children who die from excess of Sanctity. She oould get fun out of the 'delay caused by a hot-box, out of a frolic with a stray kitten. And any- •v ! :*bing gayer and sweeter than her laugh- , ter. I, for one, never heard. j • "Her father's Bolicitude for her com- wi' wa8 un<^emon8trative but intense. W ^ er® was something pathetic about it. \ it seemed to us he gave her her own p ,i ,*tareof love and that of her dead ijpaother also. He tried to make towns £ * iat night that her rest would be un- T: ^ «brokeu. If, as often happened, thev | ^ ;j!were obliged to travel at night, he used fix her comfortably on the seat oppo- > «ite his own and watch her while she ^ J plept. She always dressed herself, oply | fe Spcouiing to him to comb out her curls ?|>ud fasten the back of her gown, k "Such an immense favorite as ehe be- t came with the boys I That is, with all |Hk. 'except Duke Preston. He never paid much attention to her, when all the rest "'v ="*of us were about breaking our necks to > ,wr^et her know how glad we were to see w*/J' s|her. He happened to run across Bar- ^bour and Verne oftener than any of us, ;Bat he never spoke of her--hardly ' - Sever to her. He was 30 if a day, a tall, 1 * 'jdark, handsome, taciturn fellow. Per- ' .^h«psthe reason he did not notice her %/• .much,<or buy her stuff as the others carry her across the gutters. "Vat she was >ust the same dear little Verne after all, I concluded, for ad she not welcomed me with the me sweet smile that was so frank, friendly, swift as sunshine. I staid in town a week and was head over ears in love when I went up to say good-by. I asked her if I might write. She hesi­ tated. She hated to hurt any one. Then she very gentlv answered: " 'Not' " 'Why?' I persisted. " Duke,' she answered, : tuning scarlet, 'might not like it.' " Then Barbour came in aud told me how Duke Preston had written to Verne ever since she was sent to school. The previous Christmas he had come to see her, and she had promised to marry him. That quiet, surly fellow, who, when we all lamented Verne's being sent to school, sat still and glowered and said never a word. But I remem­ bered how persistently he used to make Barbour's runs, and how, little as he said, be never took his eyes off the child when she was present. Well, I blew in my savings on a Solid silver set. I suppose all is fair in love and war, but Market Gardens of Part*. I have been intensely interested the past winter in learning all I could about th» market gardens of Paris," said Henrj L. Hoskins of Louisville, Ky. "It was so that I was compelled to remain in Paris, France, for over four months with very little to do. I had exhausted the sights of the "Beauti­ ful City," and as an amusement began watching the way the vegetables are handled by the French. Like every­ thing else they undertake I found the work exceedingly well done. The French are foremost in the cultivation of the greatest variety §f fniitj and vegetables/ The American gardener, as a rule cannot name the species of the plants grown, leaving out the varie­ ties. The different species may all be said to be cultivated in order to secure the slight difference in flavor. Lettuce is raised in more than a hundred varie­ ties, and no matter of what countries vegetables are natives, the French adopt them and improve them. You know the civilized world largely de­ rives it£ seeds, plants and flowers from France, and as the agricultural part of the population is thoroughly trained to its work, you find the gardners of a cheerful, lively disposition, who make vegetables a life study, and become wonderfully expert in raising them. Ordinarily the size of the gardens sur­ rounding Paris is an acre and a half each, and the very largest do not ex­ ceed two and a half acres. The land is valued allvthe way from $100 to $250 an acre, and while our American gardeners would hesitate to invest at such figures, the French take it as a matter of course --and pay? Well, I should say it does pay them. The prices generally include the garden plant--a well, pumping machinery and tanks. The usual plant of working tools on the small gardens costs from $2,000 to $3,000, and in it there must be 150 glasses for striking cuttings,500 glazed frames, $3,000 large bell glasses, 700 to 800 straw mats, spades, hoes, rakes, baskets for market­ ing,, a horse and cart. etc. The straw mats that are used as covers for the hot, beds are made to roll up, so they can be taken off the frames during the day and spread out at night. Of course | this constant handling occasions enor­ mous wear and tear, but the supply of straw is the best to be had in any country. Why, I have seen oat straw that was from three to four feet long, wheat straw from four to five feet; rye straw often reaches 7$ feet. The straw- mat manufacture gives employment to children, women and old aud decrepit meu. From what I could find out, some ten thousand people are employed in these gardens about Paris. Most of them are women and children." THERE is a brick in ever; but It takes a hot fire to tell it so. " i 1 'ill Si ail mi • Ili'i irlrfcjil DOWNFALL OF THE CUM DFULPS Formerly a Delicious ConfrmfOki How Tasteless and (Jnhealthfol. Time was when gumdrops, those elastic confections which have attained a popularity extending from the Pacific slope to Boston Harbor, were not the despised filling for cheap mixtures and the butt of witticisims which they have become to-day. They used to be a highly prized and most toothsome pro­ duct of the confectioner's skill. When tastes were easier to gratify and before glucose was recognized as a commercial possibility, gumdrops were gumdrops. They occupied a prominent plaoe in the category of sweetmeats, and were received with open mouths everywhere. But, alas! how are the mighty fallen; for now there aae none so poor as to do them reverence. They are a cheap, transparent, taste­ less, sticky, irregular-shaped article of universal neglect and distaste. Why is this so, do you ask ? The reason is very simple and a moral can be drawn from it. The very excel­ lence of the forefathers of the present gumdrop was the cause of their down­ fall and ruin. Originally they were composed of a union of ingredients which made them oostly. They were also treated to a process of manufacture which added to their value from a com­ mercial sense and also gave them a de­ licious and tempting appearance in the show case. Few people know that the good old-fashioned gumdrop was not only wholesome to eat, but possessed valuable properties, a statement which can hardly be made for the present article. The formula for their manufacture was a simple one, the principle ele­ ments being gum aribic, water and sugar. These articles were dumped into a kettle, in certain proportions, and boiled until they assumed about the consistency of mucilage. The thick mass was then poured into moulds of starch, the size and shape of the com­ pleted gumdrop. These moulds were made after this fashion: A tray an inch deep, sixteen inches wide, and twenty- inches long, would be filled with finely pulverized starch. A dextrous candy maker would then cover the surface at the starch, after it had been smoothed off even with the top of the tray", with the gumdrop indetations or holes in the surface. After filling th^se holes with soft preparation, tjjwf tray would be a drying room and allowed to tiii sLi heat had dried up the fficiently. Then the gumdrop* Subjected to a process known to makers as crystalization. This s a simple process but somewhat ex­ pensive. After the starch was all re­ moved from the drops by a "blower," a pound or two would be placed in a tin receptacle about the size of but deeper than an ordinary square pie tin,, and then covered with a thin syrup of sugar and water boiled to a certain consistency which is ascertained by a sachrometer. After standing for one day in this sweet bath the syrup was drained off and the gumdrops returned to the dry room, from which they emerged covered with glistening crystals of pure sugar. That is the way that gumdrops were made years ago. But they commanded a high price in the market and could not be made cheaper. One unhappy day an exploiting confectioner made a discovery which was wrought all the disaster to the original gumdrop family. He discovered that by boiling glucose, corn starch and water together a result was obtained not unlike that of the other formula. This discovery was to confectioners for a time what the cotton gin was to the South. For if there are cheap articles used by candy makers, corn starch, glucose aud water are the cheapest of all. But the disgrace to the original ar­ ticle did not stop with their being made of glncose, corn starch and as little sugar as the conscience of the manu­ facturer could stand. They could not be crystalized. The crystal would not stick to so unworthy ah imposter. So they were giveft a duckingin thin syrup, rolled in coarse granulated white sugar, dried and as much of the sugar rolled off in a sifter as possible. Just how much the latter gumdrops are sold for, no one knows, bnt they can be closed out at 5 cents a pound at good profit. It may be stated in con­ clusion that the genuine gumdrop, worth from 25 to 40 cents a pound, has little chance against so cheap a counter­ feit as its glucose brother. Eating. There has never been a time when so much attention was paid to the art of cookery as at present. The society of New York cooks sometime ago gave their annual exhibition, at which they displayed steamships, villas, Eiffel tow­ ers and groups of statuary, which, beside looking very pretty, were all good to eat, being composed of meat and vege­ tables ingeniously disguised. A man could devour the chimney of a cottage, the mainsail of a favorite yacht, a man-of-war's boat, a celebrated trot­ ting horse, or the coachman of a coach- and-four, and find them all delicate and digestible. About the same time, the noble so- ciety of cooks in Paris held a similar exhibition, where were seen a gigantic windmill, a castle of the Middle Ages, Swiss chalets, a full-sized Grecian helmet, and a large green lion, all good to eat and pleasing to behold. The French cooks invited to their show a number of artists, authors, statesmen and other notable persons, one of whom pronunced a fine eulogium upon the art of cooking as practiced in France with brilliant success for many centuries. The orator, who was M. Jules Simon, made one remark of much importance. He maintained that tlie special excel­ lence of French cookery ia that it de­ lights the palate without overtaking the digestive powers. Then be made the following observation: "To know how to eat is to give one's- self good digestion, sound sleep, a re ceptive mind and a muscular strength/ We can all agree with the venerable statesman, that V know how to eat goes a long way toward securing "good digestion, sound sleep, a receptive mind and muscular strength." This would be an excellent motto to place over the door of the Memorial Hall at Harvard, where several hundred students take nourishment every day, while comment­ ing with great freedom upon the man­ ner in whioh the oook performs bis duty. What we need as a people is not the fine-art cookery displayed by the artists of New York and Paris, nor the luxuri­ ous banquets described in the volume' of Ward McAllister, who expatiates upon the singular cheapness of a dinner which only cost $10 a plate. Nor do we desire terrapins at $3 a mouthful, and can dispense with champagne that has been kept at the vineyard for seven years. Our great need is better cooking of the plain, nutritious food that the peo­ ple can afford to buy, the right kind of Touching incident. A group of emigrants was gathered in the long, dreary passsge whioh opens on the bay at the Jersey City Station, and as the passengers waiting for the midnight train strayed that way they observed a stolid, pathetic look on each face, that told of some greater sorrow than the loneliness of a strange land. There were the aged grandmother, the father and mother, and a family of half- grown children--little men and women --who moved and talked and looked like their elders. But they were all silent now, and sat motionless on the hard benches on whioh their rude baggage was piled. Between the father and mother was a rough bed, extemporized from shawls and oomforters and a coarse cloth coat, and on that bed the youngest of the family was sleeping; but there was that in the aspect of the group that denoted such a deep sorrow that one of the pas­ sengers approached and asked: "Is the child sick ?" The Danish people shook their heads --it was an unknown tongue to them. But one of the boys, who had picked up a few of the necessary English words from his fellow-travelers on the steam­ ship voyage to this country, answered without moving a muscle of his face: "Yesh -- shleeps." An hour later an official stopped and looked at the group. Then he turned down, with no ungentle hand, the cover­ lid from what he believed to be the sleeping child. "Why," he exclaimed, Starting "tliH child is dead." "Yeah," said the 1 English And t dead for with an; di»tracte9^^^^^^^^H^PSble to ex­ press a .1ra^^^Hp|M|nrable to the many syif3HHIPnMarta that were within r They left the little yellow-haired girl baby, consigned to a foreign grave, and went on their way; but though they shed no tears, there was that in their blue eyes that told of a deep wound, and doubtless in their new home they wiA miss the quaint little figure in its blue woolen dress and round white cap and tiny wooden shoes--the Danish baby that lies alone under the shade-trees of Jersey City.-- Youth's Companion. Hopton's Compromise*. There is a familiar story, said to have its basis in truth, which tells of an im­ pecunious debtor, upon whom persist­ ent dunning had not the slightest ef­ fect. As a last resort the creditor sought a personal interview, and in consideration of prompt payment offered to throw off half the debt. "Very well," assented the debtor, "and not to be out­ done in generosity, I'll throw off the other half 1" This absurdity is equalled, if not surpassed, by a tale from Georgia. Near a town in the Southern part of the State lived Mr. Branscombe, a wealthy fruit-grower, who was em­ broiled in a perpetual feud with a poor trucker named Hopton. The feud was based on Hopton's hog, which committed havoc in Branscombe's garden, and Branscombe finally shot the animal. War was at once declared by Hopton, not against Branscombe personally, but against all his belongings. He tore down fences, wrung the necks of chick­ ens, smeared Branscombe's front steps with paint, and continued this petty persecution until the fruit-grower was exasperated beyond endurance. He set a watch on Hopton, and finally Caught him in the act of pouring turpen­ tine into the pump. The next day Branscombe swore out a warrant for Hopton's arrest for malicious mischief, and it was served that afternoon. Hopton resisted violently, but finally calmed down, and while on his way to the office of the Justice of the Peace ex­ pressed a wish to see Mr. Branscombe and "settle the whole affair." The con­ stable was an obliging fellow, and ac­ ceded to the request. "Kunnel," said Hopton, when brought before Bransbombe, "let's compromise this matter." 't "Very well," assented Branscombe, readily. "During the past six months you have committed damages to the ex­ tent of $200. What is your proposi­ tion ?" "It's this, Kunnel," drawled Hopton. "You drop this prosecuting me, and I'll let ye off."--Youth's Companion. H THE ARIZONA KlGlKli. Mil and Outside of a Qrsaf VwMy Weekly. New DEPATtm*.*- As an individual we plug around in a fashion to please o u r s e l v e s , a n d though we own the only shirt in this town which but­ tons behind, no one can charge us with ever trying to fling on scallops o v e r t h e b o y s . S t r a n g e r s h a v e taken us for a Digger Indian oftener than for the edi­ tor of a great weekly paper, but onr feelings have nevef been ruffled. As many mean things as our jealous minded contemporary ,bas said of us, he has never--no, never--dared charge us with wetring a regular night-shirt or hankering after four-in-hand ties. But as an editor--biff! We are right on the hustle. Nothing is too good for our reader*. We spare no pains in keeping at the head of the procession. We feel that we can't pay too many dollars to make the KICKEK all that the most critical subscriber can expect. In pursuance of this latter policy we have added an engraving department to our already liberal plant, and are now ready to fill orders for illustrated Bibles, books, novelettes, school books, etc. We ehall, of course, have our own en- under our own r^ol ia fu- uiO'iS presented in this iterion of what our ar- was drunk all the way this town, and is now up. He will have to get climate, our whisky and our Ways^ and will then shake the hat in a rS *K)T» n tray to astonish the would-be artists of this section. We are now boss of a weekly newspaper, a meat mar­ ket, a gun shop, a shoe store, a grocery, a real estate agency, an insurance bu­ reau and an intelligence office--all under one management and under one roof. "Come West, young man." A FAILURE.--Our third attempt with­ in the year to establish ah agricultural department in the KICKER has, like those before it, proved a fatal failure. We have been deceived and hum­ bugged until we are almost ready to abandon the idea. True, the only* ag­ ricultural products of this vicinity are confined to jackass-rabbits, Piute half- breeds, cactus plants6 and wire grass which cuts a mule in two lengthways within a month, but an agricultural de­ partment always gives a weekly a fin­ ished expression of countenance. An old monkey-wrench came along about four weeks ago and claimed to have run the Agricultudal Department at Washington for four years. He could talk ruta-bsga and subsoil plowing faster than you could shoot buckshot at an Indian dog, and he wanted a sit with us mbre to break down the Bureau at Washington than for any salary expected. We put him on at $3 per week, calculating to raise him as he proved his merits, but the only raise he got was when we raised him out of the sanctum for trying to kiss us while maudlin drunk. We ask our readers to excuse the blunders this fellow made in his de­ partment last week. We supposed he could be depended on and did not read the proofs. For "3,000 bushels to the acre," read 10 bushels. For "sixty perch of subsoil," read sixty perch of stone. For "alluring dispositions," read allu­ vial deposits. For "sectional irritation," read 80S* ceptible of irrigation. For "forty tons of top-dressing per hog," read one ton of top-dressing per acre. The next galoot who comes along here and claims to have done the agri­ cultural for the New York World, Cleve­ land Flain Dealer, Pittsburgh Dis­ patch, Rochester Chronicle and Chi­ cago Times has got to have some cer­ tificate besides a ted nose, a cataract in his left eye and his toes out to the weather. THE TRUTH OP IT.--Our lop-eared contemporary down the street, with his usual disregard of truth and fact, came out yesterday with a double-leaded ar­ ticle headed: "AT LAST!" 'THE 'KICKKR MAN' GETS HIS DOSE!" "A GOOD JOB. WELL DONE." • Meat and Microscopes. The details of tbe new meat inspection law were announced at the Produce Exchange in this city on April 10, and according to the Commercial Bulletin some of its features provoked con­ siderable merriment. The announce­ ment, we are informed, was as follows: It is estimated that the new meat in­ spection law will require 130 to 150 men with microscopes in Armour's packing houses alone. This gives an idea of the magnitude of the under­ taking. Smaller housed cannot be handled as economically as the large ones. The Inspection Law will be put in force as fast as men and means and microscopes can be provided. The Secretary of Agriculture will not be able to put it into general operation this year, as Congress failed to make the necessary appropriation, and is lim­ ited to such general funds as they can spare. He will only apply the law in such houses as ask for it this year, and gradually feel his way, as there are many difficulties to overcome." This statement was read to a group of the . . . ,, , ,T ,, trade. The oomments that followed went over to B™h ^aUey^n a were decidedly humorous. One prom­ inent broker declared that he would quit his business and go into micros­ copes ; another, that the microscope manufacturers must have been behind this meat inspection law when it passed Congress; still another, that the miros- copes must first be tested by an inves­ tigation of the heads of the Interior De­ partment at Washington before they would be accepted. A leading exporter said that the law would, no doubt, lead to new discoveries in Bacteriaological Science, and advance the market for miorobes as weld as for microscopes. The Convivial Man's l>ay. * "I have discovered an interesting piece of history," said a well-known army officer in the city yesterday. "You know that a court-martial in the army cannot sit after 3 o'clock, except for special reason, and this custom, it ap­ pears, we have inherited from the methods in vogue in her Majesty's king­ dom. But why do you suppose the English oourt-martial never sits after 3 o'clock? Because--and th'is is the humorous part of the story -a hundred or more years ago the average English­ man of position was not expected to be sober after 3 o'clock. He had had his three or four bottles and was gradually sinking into a stupor. So to win the ends of justice the court swore off at this set hour."--Philadelphia Record. "HE STRUCK A MAN HE COULDN'T BLUFF P "Now what is the truth of it? We cayuse kindly loaned us by Major Weatherhorn for the occasion. Our object was to secure subscribers, and we picked up thirty-two of them among the boys--about half the circulation of our contemporary. While we were riding over to Col. Jones' ranch y0 we met Buck Pedro. Buck hasn't had any love for us since we furnished the rope which scared him out of this town. He oominanded us to halt. "We halted. "He requested us to throw up our hands. "We complied. He then indulged in some very un gentlemauly language mixed with very | play, and the story was sent from bad grammar and wound up by orderiug ! end of the country to the other, us to git. "We got "We'd have been a fool not to. We went fast. We wanted to go faster still, but the cayuse couldn't gain on it. We reached home safe and sound and right side up, and immediately entered the thirty-two names on our subscription book. That's the truth, the whole truth, and all there was in it. Give ns a fair show and we are generallv in '•VvVj.-'. V" * ft, a« our private graveyar&p&rea. Bat when a man like Buck Pedro looks over a Winchester on a line with your left eye, apdi is all ready to shoot before we've seen him, we humbly cave and follow directions. We are no relation to the man who haltered a grizzly bear for ^ call."--N. Y. World. s c ^ : Hm Was Absent-Mlndod. 1 There is a young man in Brooklyn so absent-minded that he is likely to slide down the banisters of time along with the man who forgot his own name. He is very sensitive on the subject of bis weakness and endeavors to conceal it, but it leads him into many scrapes, and recently he had a very vivid illustration of the disadvantages of abstraction when indulged in too freely. In a rare interval of observation, so the tale runs, he lost his heart to a young woman whom he met at a recep­ tion. The young woman reciprocated and the love affair progressed smoothly for a time. Then, unaccountably, the fair one ceased to smile upon the young man as of ycre, and elowly froze him out Explanations were sought, but none were given, and after a painful search through an apology of a memory for the cause of the sudden change the young man gave up the conundrum and went on his absent-minded way. Not long ago he had occasion to don his dress suit, neglected since the even­ ing from which he dated his decline in the young woman's favor. Something in one of the pocket attracted his vagrant attention, and when the something was dragged into the light of day it proved to be a well-filled purse. Finally the recollection of how it got there car?e back to him, and he remem­ bered slyly abstracting it from the pocket of the young woman, with the intention of having some innocent amusement at her expense when the loss was discovered. But he was not an adept in this particular kind of ab­ straction, and the young woman was perfectly aware of what he was doing, and it was only because she was deeply engrossed at the time with a thrilling scene on the stage that she failed to protest. Her conclusion, when weeks elapsed and the young man had failed to return the money, was uncomplimentary, but natural. The young man's explanation when he returned the purse was accepted. To his disgust he found that his rival had been accepted also. The Chinaman's Purchase. The Chinese are not supposed to have much talent or liking for humor, but a litt'e story related by the author of "Three Years in Western China" shows that they are not altogether deficient in that respect. It may be taken also as an illustration of the truth that a man may be given to some form of wicked­ ness and folly, and yet be capable of wise conduct in other directions. Several of my followers were opium smokers, and one of my bearers had contracted a great craving for the drug. He was somewhat disreputable in ap­ pearance, but a willing worker. His baggacre consisted of the clothes on his back, and a small bundle containing his opium pipe and the necessary parapher­ nalia for smoking. On leaving a certain village I noticed that the bundle had assumed larger di­ mensions, but my speculations as to its ^contents proved to be wide of the mark. A few miies to the west of Yaug-lin a halt was called for rest, and the cakes on the roadside stall were quickly bought and devoured. The opium-smoker, meanwhile, sat apart on the edge of the stone road. "How is it that you are all eating and drinking," said he to one of his com­ rades, "and I haven't a single cash to follow your example?" The other man put his thumb to his mouth, and pretending to inhale, pro­ nounced the single word, "Opium," at which the smoker smiled and was si­ lent. On the following day we were sud­ denly overtaken by a short rain-storm, and when the other bearers were search­ ing for shelter, the smoker solemnly produced his bundle, gravely undid the cover, and proceeded to unfold and put on a first-class water-proof coat which he had wisely purchased in the village to which we have referred. The as­ tonishment on the other men's faces, and the iook of triumph in which the smoker indulged, were a study. Hear and Cubs. The surgeon of a vessel sailing from England to Hudson's Bay, in 1812, made this entry in his journal for July 25th. Of course, what the doctor calls the silver bear must be the white polar bear of Arctic regions. This day, while sailing through strag­ gling ice, one of the men on the quarter­ deck observed, at a few yards' distance, a silver bear and her two young cubs. The captain immediately ordered the jolly-boat to be lowered, and muskets, etc., to be got in readiness; and all things being prepared, the first mate, with three or four men, set out in pur­ suit We were all leauing over the deck, waiting with the greatest anxiety for the interesting scene that we ex- pected to witness. They had not got many yards from the vessel, when I beheld a very affect­ ing sight. The mother, observing their approach, and aware of their intention, set-up a most doleful cry, and pres­ ently clasped her two young ones within her two forepaws. First she would look at one, then at the other, and again resume her piteous cry. Seeing the men come still nearer, she got the cubs on her neck and dived un­ der water to a considerable distance; when exhausted, she made to the ice for shelter. This she did several suc­ cessive times. The men who went out for the pur­ pose of shooting her were so justly af­ fected at the sight that tbey humanely returned to the ship without discharg­ ing their muskets. Still, however, the poor bear apprehended danger. After getting on a detached piece of ice, she again clasped her young ones with the greatest tenderness, and continued her heart-melting cries.-- Youth's Coal' panion. v ^»hy Wolcott Hwame a Senator. "Wolnott owes his election to the Senate," said a gentleman | who knows him well, "to a sensational account of | his winning a large stake at faro at i Long Branch a few years ago. Wol- ' cott won something like $20,000 on one one He had no idea' at the time of seeking po­ litical preferment. But the publica­ tion of this gambling story touched Wolcott's pride. He determined to prove to the country that he was some­ thing more than a faro bank plunger, and he did it That is the true stoy of how Wolcott came to enter politics. The authority for the above is CoL Thomaa Porterhouse Ochiltree, ao it must be true.--SL Louis Republic. RAM'S HORW WR1NKLES. Paragraphs la Kvery <iqa of Vtfcieh iiS Sermon. HENEYEB ye* find a man op­ posing the Bible, you find one who h a s s i n s h e doesn't want to n* THERE «T« people who dress their bodies in the height of fashion, and let their minds go In rags. THE man who expects to say good-bye to his Bins, one at a time, will never get the devil be­ hind him. IF the beatben are never saved it will be the fault of close-fisted church mem­ bers, and not the fault of God. No ONE ha* ever had a foretaste of heaven who has not done spmething unselfish to make somebody happy. The man who is not willing for the kingdom of God to come in his own heart, is opposing it everywhere. THE man who waits for a golden harjr with which to praise God, would feel very much out of place in heaven. DEVILS rejoice in the worldly pros­ perity of an ungodly man, because it turns him farther away from heaven. THE closer we look at men, the less we think of them. The closer we look at Christ the more we love Him. THERE never was a sermon preached that the devil couldn't answer, but he never tries to explain a godly life. THE devil gets his hands on a good many preachers by making them be­ lieve that thoy have to preach great sermons. PEOPLE who really love Christ, no matttif how poor they may be, will manag^ to find some way to show it ih tangible gifts. A oooi> many preachers try so hard to feed a few giraffes in their flocks that they let the sheep and lambs starve to death. WHEN God's work comes to a stand­ still you can depend upon it that ob­ stacles are in the way that human hands can remove. V No MAN can live so as to please his next door neighbor, but the one who tries to please God will not find it hard to do it " WHEN it comes to house-cleaning, there is only here and there a man who seems to be truly religious, from where his wife sees. WHEN you want to see God's power, look for it in the mountains. When you want to see His spirit, look for it in Christian men. THE right kind of religion doesn't mean twenty-five cents a year for mis­ sions, and turkey for yourself every Sunday for dinner. ONE of the main reasons why a bride is so proud of her husband is because she thinks he knows everything. Some­ thing warm seems to have been sud­ denly taken out of the sunshine when she finds out that he doesn't THERE are well-to-do men who will get down on their knees in church, and pray for God to bless the whole earth, who wouldn't give a dollar toward build­ ing a fence around the church to keep the pigj out of the graveyard. Twu » resiitoutn. A day or two ago a gentleman, whom nobody- seemed to know, came out of the Fifth Avenue Hotel, New York, and walked up Broadway for some distance. He was not far from 70 years of age. His beard was quite gray, though his complexion was rosy; the beard had recently been trimmed, apparently, ao that it was as Bhort as that which Gen­ eral Grant wore. The gentleman strolled on with an easy gait, now and then pausing to look in a window. Just after he had passed the Victoria Hotel a very stout gentleman, who had ap­ parently been recently shaved, who wore a light brown mustache, whose nlieeks were very billowy and over whose shirt collar appeared a billowy mass of flesh, came,from the Victoria. A few persons recognized him, and now and then one or two turned to look at him. He walked along indifferently apparently lfrhether any one noticed him or not. He was scarcely twenty feet behind the other gentleman. Thus, in Indian file, they went up Broadway for several blocks, each un­ conscious that he was so near suoh dis­ tinguished company. There was a lesson in this little soene. It was the suggestive lesson of the fate of ex-President's and how quickly the greatest ruler on earth, when he lays down his office, becomes a plain every­ day citizen. The first gentleman was Butherford B. Hayes, and the second was one of his successors, Grover Cleve­ land.--Philadelphia Prexs. Lite Worth Living, At one of the clubs one evening, Mr. Montagu Williams met Lord , who had just lost his father. The young lord was melancholy, and the lawyer proposed visiting a theater opposite, which proposition was accepted. There was a slight fite in the theater, where­ upon the young lord was among the first to bolt "like a rabbit," out of the building. Betnrning leisurely to the club, Mr. Williams found there his young friend quietly smoking a cigar. " What on earth made you bolt that way ? You seemed frightened out of your wits (not a difficult matter, per­ haps.) Don't you know that, on such an occasion, if everybody got up and rushed out, a panic would ensue, with very likely fatal consequences? Why on earth couldn't you sit still as I did? There was nothing serious the matter." Upon this, with the most patronizing air, the young gentleman replied: "Oh, yes; that's very well for you, but you've not just succeeded to a peerage and twenty thousand pounds a year." Judge Poland's Authority. Judge Poland was one of the most re­ markable figures in Congress. His blue swallow-tail coat, brass buttons, snow white hair and chop whiskers made him appear remarkably English, and he al­ ways admired himself. Before enter­ ing Congress he had been Chief Justice of his native State, and at once resumed his practice before the courts after en­ tering political life. \ Oneway he was arguing before the full bench a quite importantV ease and had referred to several decisions, when, picking up a volume, he said: \ "May it please your honors, I will now call your attention to a case de­ cided in the volume of our State reports, the decision is somewhat old, but at that time there were some able men upon the bench," and from a de­ cision rendered by himself twenty year* previous sustained the position he waa contending for. The judges, of course, all smiled, but Poland was as dignified as it was possi­ ble for mortal to be. 4&