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rg § laiurtralrr ^ 1 VAN SLUE, Editor lnd Publish*. MCSKU RY, - " - ILLINOIS. BT UU.IK K BASIL. AGAIN." If I Maid see him 1* T own Id hesr hiro *«y, , . ; »r*y aiwt kind RH he used to do: • ~ II little wife, what has come tOjtM All through the busy day, v WXile I have been aw ay t" Oftemtben I WR* cross; fa Often I need to reply:. • •jftWit eonies to a woman ev«ywh«§*r-s - WTaetiiuK and baking and household«*re; 1 declare it makes me cry VS"" To I hi nk how my days go by!" Then he would kiss me again. Try tohe still more kind ; Italtlnly «ay; -My poor little wife! K • ^ JBtoOld I could give you an ensier liwHr Jjppf".": How could 1 be so unkind ? Oh, hewooahl 1 be so blind? \ " f'Od toa> him away one day, q 'J ook him away from me; 3 s ' B low, though I labor the whole day through, Blobodyasks: "What has come to you?" l>'v *, •* Nobody pities or sha>es , * The weight of my household OtfM.- ^1, 1,^ Oh. yes, I have children, too; ^• A mother cannot complain ; / • '.j Bat never a son nor a daugnt er's grace 1 * OHt fill the void of their father's plane. 1?;'^ xi-iA mother caunot con plain ; few ' ^!lt °k' 'or my husband agaiul '$£' r~^?:s'"^v • • If I had only known f e i f v - « T h a t I s h o u l d e v e r f i n d ' i»^V.' -Sma an angel love that for years - 'Worked for me, cared tor me, dried lay tears, I had l>een far leas blind; But, oh, I was blind, so blind i --Le&0*r- . ' ' ^ TAKING NO CHANCES toss restlessly through the night feverishly anxious to see what new riches the morrow would bring to los (Americanos. The gold their own ) work had taken from the banks of the stream, with which they were once so satisfied, seemed so little and in­ significant when compared with what their neighbors had taken from the mountain-top that they no longer thought or spoke of it. Once it had seemed to them like a fortune, now tt was hardly worth having. Day after day the Americans Worked, watched by the Mexicans. From dollars the value of their gold grew into hundreds and then into thousands. They could not tell how much they had, for they had no means of weighing it. They had more than all oT them together could carry. The strongest man among them, Jack Swilling, six feet and over, could not change the gold from one place to an­ other without making live separate loads of it. A strong man's load in gold is not much when valued in dol­ lars--at the utmost, perhaps, $40,000 --but valued with the value men place <jn it, it can not be estimated. Put into a sack and thrown over the shoulder it is only a heavy burden, wearisome with its weight. Stamped with the stamp that makes it money, piled in shining piles where avarice can feast its eyes upon it, slipped into the half-willing hand of man or woman, it is different. Then barriers fade away that a lifetime has built, manhood sinks and takes with it what was noblest and best, never to return, and men nonchantly think thoughts that, free from the fascina­ tion of gold, they would haye exe­ crated with horror. So it was in this camp. At first the gold was stored in the common buckskin purses that the little party, in its most enthusiastic moments, able to HERB it lay. Right on 'the mountain top. Nature had! hollowed out, as if J on purpose, a space| not more than fifty i feet square; and in | had never dreamed of being va^ it she had placed gold in quantities that few men ever see and fewer still possess. Dull-colored IS \ yellow. It hardly looked the thing for which men barter ftonor and women fall. It was just as nature, the great alchemist, had aaade it. No alloys had corrupted it, oor had the sweaty, clinging clasp of Insurer defiled it. For centuries it bad lain and glistened in she burning • sun. burnished only by the sand ^sweeping over it in windy revels. It hat! never known the darkness of long years of hoarding in strong-boxes, nor 'had it ever clung like the kisses of passionate men to the throat and *3 • arms and breast of women beautiful >*. ' as day. No man's blood had been ' shfd for it, no woman or child ^ eaten bread in sadness and tears be­ cause of it. Yet it was gold. Amid the sand and in the crevices * of the rocky ledges that made the ^ ' apex of the mountain a novice might C have .passed it by unheedingly. But T" • when Jack Swilling and his comrades ^ • ;"'«w it they knew that they were rich, . • that in the gold that lay before them ? • was a new life wherein that gold ^ ^ would buy them the smiles and ,4 caresses of women, the homage and j subservience of men--a life of music, fee -of feasting, and of song, fill with the metal, and then it was packed in rougbly made bags Of cloth. As the store of gold grew, the friendship that had once existed be­ tween the Americans and Mexicans became weaker and weaker. Soon they were enemies, watching one an­ other with hatred that none attempt­ ed to disguise. The Americans no longer slept together in a little group, as has been their custom. In­ stead, each took his blanket.and went off alone, yet not so far but that he was near the gold. While at work during the day they made it a point never to group together. Even when a nugget larger than the rest was picked up they no longer joyously called to each other that they might gather to admire it. They were al­ ways on their guard. Day and night one of their party watched the Mexi­ cans. If they were to be killed and robbed of the gold they had discov­ ered. by keeping thus separate some might escape if they were Yet the Mexicans had nothing to justify suspi would descend to to secure the ing but wate after day, creased. But and the pi V# ! came intib their into .trieir eves. in- went by grew a newjook fitees, another "ght The lips were drawn life It was for this that they had toiled I ® -^tle tighter, the forehead was less for years and had risked everything i'Open. There was no longer laughing had efforts made to tell jokes, half in ' by jvery sat the rizona the little party had left Tucson and y-4 traveled northward until they had ar- rived at the placers. On their ar- Vmf? rival at the mines they found that al- f* . ready a good many thousands of dol- ^ tars had been taken out, principally i by Mexicans, and they had no dlffi- ' , faulty in locating ground that paid rf-;- ifclnem well. For nearly a month they jl ftiad continued mining, meeting with j&V BO more than usual success, until one !!« of their party, while hunting, had >} ascended one of the surrounding jK * mountains. On reaching the sum- ^1}.' - tnit he had paused for an instant to ^4 let his eye sweep the mesas and I? • *'< mountains that stretched away for ^ miles on either side, and while doing • toe.had discovered that the little itttsm^rn which he stood was almost | fared with gold. Picking up a few the larger pieces he returned to fhe camp and informed his comrades of his discovery. The story he told Ms companions was one so incredible *that,'had it not been for the nuggets Of gold which he had brought with Ixim, it would not have been believed. Earlyrthe next morning the entire "party ascended the mountain, and what thoy saw proved that the Tidiness of the find had not been ex- ySftr.'r' Spanish, half in English, to amuse one another. The old comraderie was gone. Yet less than a month before these men had found pleasure in shar­ ing their scanty stores with one an- ottior. Now they merely watched each other and the pile of gold with a hatred so intense as to be unspeak­ able. The pile of gold, though, continued to grow. But at last it ceased. In the crevices and cracks and sand there was no longer to be found a single glitter of yellow. Only the scars re­ mained where the knives had cut and gouged out the riches of the rock. The Mexicans smiled with pleasure as they saw the Americans vainly en­ deavor to find more of the metal, and in return the latter grew hot with anger, though in their hearts they felt relieved to know that they had exhausted the land. Already they had as much as they could care for. Had there been more to mine, they would have taken it on rather than see any one else possess it. It had grown to be a pleasure to have it, if only to know it was theirs, even if they could not use it. When the pocket was mined bat, tfce Mexicans no longer came up daily to watch the Americans. Instead, they stayed in their camp at the foot of the mountains. They did no work. Why should they? What would the aggerated, but that its true value had i few ounces they could take from their *been, if anything, underestimated. [ claims amount to, "compared with Abandoning their old location, the • what the Americans had obtained? party encamped on their newly dis- j Now that there was no longer any covered treasure-ground and began to gold to mine, the Americans began to father its riches. At first every | devise means to remove the gold they m* leo&e nugget was carefully picked up •and stored away; after that the sand, which was found to be heavy with illne gold, was gathered together pre­ paratory to "washing" it out with the waters of the stream below. This done, they began with their bowie knives to "cut and gouge" Out of the crevices and cracks of the rocks the gold that they contained. Never did men work so hard. The feverish bunger and thirst for gold was upon had to where they could dispose of it. "It must be nearly a quarter of a million, boys," said Jack Swilling-- all looked to him as their chieftain; "we will have to get it out of here." How to do it was a question they were always discussing as they gath­ ered on the mountain crest in a little group in order to be able to watch the Mexican camp below. "We can't carry all of it, tout we might take part and hide the rest un- thern. As long as the light of day til we could return for it," suggested lasted they continued to work. Each ( one. day saw the pile of virgin gold grow i larger, until it became Impossible to' ^conceal it. •ft: P:; m i- The Mexicans who had been their neighbors in the old diggings would •come into their camp and look with reedy eyes at the Americans at work. .At-first they sought everywhere to •discover another such pocket, but in •vain. Outside of the little piece of ground .where the party had "struck if' 'the mountain-side was as barren of gold as a macadamized road. Then! "they ceased to prospect and spent their time sullenly watching the tak­ ing out of the riches In which they were to have no share. To them the spot was like the vor­ tex of the maelstrom. Every morn- tog they were there, standing on the •side of the claim, and during $he long hot hours of the day they it, regardless, of the burning glare of "Yes, and what we would leave be­ hind the Mexicans would get before we were out of sight. Damti them, why don't they get up and go. This is a white man's country, anyway, said another. "No, we can't do that," said Jack. "We will have to sendtoWickenbUrg for a pack-train, and two of you will have to go for it. You can leave to­ night, and the three of us who stay will look out for the gold. Now, who will go? Is the question." No one answered. Instead, each looked at the other, as if wishing that his neighbor would volunteer. "There's no danger. What's the matter with you? Are you afraid to trust each other with the gold?" asked Jack. i No one replied, yet each knew that I he did not want to go and leave the gold behind him. They were begin the sun, watching, watching, tremlv ning to distrust each other as they ling with excitement when a nugget distrusted the Mexicans. larger than the ordinary was taken out. •It was only when dusk grew Into darkness and the blue sky glis­ tened with its myriad of stars that they.returned to their.own .camp, to "Well, we will draw lots, find the two who get stuck will have to go, said Jack. _ The lots were drawn, and the two men to whom it had fallen to make the Journey returned to camp tried to sleep until night came. When it was so dark that they could not be seen they arose, and, slipping silently out of camp, began their trip across the desert. The next morning one of the three men who remained behind, while watching, saw one of the Mexicans take his gun and start around the base of the mountain as if to hunt. He called the attention of his two camrades to it. As the three watched the Mexican they saw the latter sud­ denly stop and look intently at the ground, and then his face turned Up in the direction of the mountain-top as if to discover whether he was ob­ served. Apparently satisfied that' be not he began to walk back and forth as if looking at foot-tracks; then, as if satisfied, he returned to the camp he had just left. "He has found the boys' trail and knows that they are gone," said Jack. His two companions merely nodded. They had known, without being told, what Jack was going to-say and what he was thinking of. When the Mexican had returned t» his camp the three men could see him seated with his comrades in conversa­ tion. There were five of them, and they appeared to be talking long and earnestly. Occasionally they glanced toward the camp where the gold was as if trying to see if they were watched. At last one of them rises; going to a roll of blankets, he picked up a gun, and, returning to the group, begins to clean it. His comrades look at him and laugh, as if at a joke, 4nd then all the rest of them arise and get their arms. "They are going to try to get the gold," says Jack, "and if we don't do something, they will pick us off one by one and be On the road to Sonora before the boys get back." "What can we do?" asks one of his comrades. "Wecatigo down there and tell them that we know what they are after, and that they have got to go," replied Jack. "By slipping up under cover of the brush and bowlders, we can be right among them before they know It, and, if we get the drop on them they will have to do what we say. Get your guns and come on." The three men arose and, taking their arms, began the descent of the mountain. Slipping from bowlder to bowlder and taking advantage qf the stunted underbrush, it was not long before they were close to the camp. As they paused a moment to take breath they could hear the Mexicans laughing and joking as they cleaned their guns, while the huqf jr, Tomas, whom in the past they'lad all liked so well, was softly singing to himself In Spanish , t-ne three men arose the Mex­ icans looked up in astonishment. It was the first time the Americans had come among them since the discovery of gold on the mountain top. For an Instant each side looked at the other in silence, then Tomas, arising and stepping toward the Americans, asked them in Spanish what they desired. "We want you to get out of here, for we know what you are cleaning up those guns for," replied Jack. "To go home with," answered Tomas, adding: "We do not care to mine here any more." • You are doing it to murder us and steal our gold, and you have got to leave here at once," said Jack. "We are going to leave just as we told you. But when you say we are murderers you lie!'4 angrily answered Tomas, partly turning his face to his comrades to have them verify his statement. Almost before the words had left his lips Jack reached out his left arm, and, throwing it around Tomas' neck, drew him backward until the Mexican's head law on his shoulder. As he felt the strangling grasp of the arm Tomas dropped his gun, and, raising his hands, tried to pull the arm from his throat. His hands had hardly touched the arm when a long, bladed knife rose above his face,, grasped so tightly that the hand that held It, with its taut muscles and tense knuckles, looked almost, as white as marble. For an instant the knife hung In the air that the fierce eyes looking down over the upturned face of the Mexican might pick the surest place to drive it into the throat, drawn so tightly backward that one could see the arteries throbbing be­ neath the skin. But only for an in­ stant, and then so fast that It seemed like a flash of light, it fell and en- tdhed the neck In below the left ear. For a moment It stopped, and then, as . the Mexican's hands reached out as (f to push away the arm that held It, the knife was pulled from left to right. As It stfept through the throat the arm that had held the head back­ ward that the knife might have a clean sweep was raised and the man whose 'throat had been cut stood alone. For an, instant to those who had seen it it seemed a dream and then, as in a moment, the dark, brown face grew ashen gray as if a painter had drawu a brush across ft. Tomas caught with both hands his throat and from the gash across it through his tightly closed fingers spurted jets of blood. At first slowly, as if the hands were striving to hold within the body the escaping life and from the lips came indistinguishable sounds as if pleading for help, while the eyes swept the face of frieud and foe imploringly. Only for an instant, though. Then the jets of blood grew stronger as the strength in the hands relaxed; the eyes grew dim and glassy, and the body for an Instant tottered, as if no longer able to stand erect. One or two steps, as if blindly striving not to fall even in death, and then, as the hands stretch out, grasping at the air, the blood that they have held back pours out In tor­ rents, and down, with the face into the dirt and dust, goes What was once Tomas, the hunter. Both sides are on their feet now, and, as they stand, the Americans cover the Mexicans with their guns. "By God! You had better go, and go at once, and leave your arms be­ hind," says Jack. The Mexicans look at him for an in­ stant, and then, with a glance at the body, they turn and start across the desert. The Americans watch them until they are out of sight. The next day when the pack-train, which >had been sent for, has arrived, and Was 'tiki laden with Hie gold, Is driven down the trail by the camp, where the;lx)i?v lies. It is still there, swollen and l>lack from the heat of the sun, while the coyotes have lap­ pet! up tH'eblood and fcaten the face away, until where it once' Was the white teeth *nd bones glisten in the sunshine. The mules snort with fear as they Sniff the carrion Smell in the air, and though heavily laden with gold, try in their flight to leave the narrow trail. ! x"i> The men pause for an instant to look at the corpse. ' 'Old Tomas," one of them says. ' 'I always thought him pretty square and rather liked him. Maybe, after all, they realty - did intend to go homfe without trying to take the gold, as he said." ' "Maybe they did," said Jack, "but we couldn't take chances On any man's honesty with all this gold on our hands."--[Argonaut. Merry ludiisn*. The general theory of white men is that"an Indian is taciturn, reticent, and self-contained, without a streak of humor, , and no taste at all for a good joke. This is an error, says the Kansas City Star. They are funny themselves, like fun in others, and probably do more laughing than any­ body, on Infinitely slighter founda­ tion. An outfit of Navajoes had just concluded a vigorous and search­ ing investigation of the swill-barrel', which stood at the rear of the restau­ rant at Engle, N. M., one day, when a Santa Fe fireman, who stood watch­ ing them, concliWed to wash hem up a little. Thev surely needed it, al- biet £hey <;lung to diffenjrtt views from the fireman. By blandishment and guile and much as elder people pet reluctant and timid children when steering their inexperience against some medi­ cinal deadfall, the fireman took the gathering of savages over to the watertank, and, letting down the spout, earnestly advised them to stand beneath and sr>e what they could see. Some four or five had the resolution to do this, the major portion of the gang retiring to a safe distance and taking a very pessimis­ tic view of the proceeding. When the candidates were all placed, their friend the fireman, counted "one, two, three," and an assistant turned on the tank. About a ton of water struck those poor Indians all at once. For a second they seeme^held by the deluge itself and .stood motionless, but the next, with soul transfixing shrieks, they started. They did not run nor fly, for that would not have been half fast enough; they just hit about three high places on the plain and were several miles away. The dry Indians laughed and howled with delight and for two hours after the joke their yells of pleasure still resounded through the little camp. • PissehlDK and friottnlii(. A clever woman told me this yester­ day: : "Don't marry for innocence--wo­ men learn quickly." . . ' "Don't marry for beauty--you'll hate 'em when it vanishes." "Don't marry for a home--yeu'll be sure to find your wife will want to live in a hotel or go to Europe just as you get settled.'; "Don't marry for sentiment--you'll g e t o v e r i t . " • • . : « "Don't marry a woman who asks questions." "When you do marry, pick out a 'good follow' who will let you smoke and can go to Egypt at a moment's notice. Marriages can only be put to practical success With good-fellowship as the keynote." I do not mind saying that I was horribly impressed with all this, and had dim notions of giving up my best girl, when my wise lady's husband *ame in and she pricked up her ears, as it were, and said as shrilly as a cricket: < "Where have yon , bfen? Any news? You're late! A telegram came herofor you and I opened it; also this note. Oh! yes, I forgot; I accepted the invitation to th»t re­ ception. Don't get cross; I couldn't get out of it!" She finally got her breath and bad­ gered the tired old chap into dressing for dinner and going to the theater; warning him that she should go home directly If he started out between acts. "Consistency, thou ar^ a jewel," thought I, and went to call on An* nle.--[N. Y. Truth. > tilris. Try This. I made a call on a very pretty young friend the other day, and was moved the muscles just to comment upon the exquisite white­ ness of her complexion lifted her to tell me what particular fac^bleach, or cosmetic, or wash she had been using. For a minute she hesitated, and then, with a bewitching little pout, she said: "It is just butter­ milk!" "Mamma told me about it," she went on to explain, "and her old col­ ored nurse told her years ago down in Kentucky when papa use to come and see her. And so the other day, when I was worrying over the freckles and sunburn on my face, she bethought herself of that old remedy and ad­ vised me try It. I did so, and behold the result!" "Is there any particular way to ap­ ply it?" I asked. "Just wash your face well with water, and then take a silk sponge and 'put' it on all oyer. your face and neck. Then when you get up in the morning wash in clear water, and then in some more buttermilk, and dry your face thoroughly with a crash towel. You can get your milkman to bring you in a pint or so every'morn­ ing, and you will find It a cheap as well as a perfect cosmotic."--Cincin­ nati Oomme ra'al- fht zctte. ' ; le Knterprt stair Artlsta. Artistr-rYou print pictures of pub­ lic men and events In your Sunday edition, I believe^ Great Editor--rYes, indeed, all we can get. Artist--I have here a number of pictures of Mr. Blaine at Bar Harbor. This one represents him in an in­ valid's chair surrounded by dolors. In this one he is tottering alongTean- ing heavily on his attendants, and in this ----. '•But, Bir, we are in favor of Mr. Blaine for President." "Oh! well, here is another set rep­ resenting him knocking down an ox with his fist, pulling up trees by the roots, and playing jackstones with ten-ton rocks."--[New York Weekly , FFD$SIDENT ON DREAMS. How to Tall When "Tslers" Will Be Hi*t» in th« rail- ft rot h a r Jack no n Was Awakened by a Ghost--JUdar Toefcs' «IM of 97,000. _______ ti " ' Details of the dab M«»MI»«K "Since movln' to di» yere town," said Brother Gardner, as the meeting opened, "I has diskivered dat mos' ob de'cull'd populashun gits up in de mawnin' an' goes to bed at night 'cordin' to de rules laid down in dream-books. I reckon dat ebery house on Thompson street has got a dream-book an' dat it am konsulted ten times whar' de Bible am once. I has been axed mo' dan a hundred times If I believed in dreams. To a sartin extent I does. I'se an old man an' i reckon I'se Ijjid at least fo' mllyon dreams in my time. "To dream dat yo' is ridin' long de road on a white boss Is a sign dat 'taters is gwine to be high in de fall, an' yo' better git off dat hoss an' ^o to work. "To dream dat you is walkin'do^n Broadway in de arternoon, an' dat yo' suddenly pick up a wallet wid $100 in it, is a sign dat de butcher am gwine to jump on yo' fur his bill. "To dream dat yo' is passin' a red barn, an' dat a black cow wid blue eyes shakes' her head at yo', is a sign dat dere hain't mo' dan two pounds of flour left in de barl. "To dream dat yo' has sold yo' dawg to. buy a lottery ticket, an' dat de ticket has drawed $10,000, is a sign dat two of de chillen can't go to skiile fur de want of shoes. "To dream dat yo'was standi^' In front of Rear Admiral Bumbo's "pie- stand on Thompson street when a fu­ neral procession passed by, an' dat all de hos§is had white feet, an' all de wheels of de kerridges was painted red, an' all de hack-drivers had on blue hats, an' nineteen yallar dawgs was followin' on behind, is a sign dat yo' owe dis club one month's dues', an' de same had better be paid at once. "Dar'are heaps of odder dreams dat mean heaps of odder things, but dese am fa'r samples of de stock on hand. If dar am anybody in dis hall to-night who is silly 'nulf to believe dat he can lay on de broad of his back on his ole straw-bed an' grunt an' snuff an' snore an' dream what's gwine to happen a week ahead, dat pusson had better slip softly out an' nebber come back no mo'. We doan' want him yere. "Jis one tford mo'. I understands dat sartin pussons in dis club claim to hev seed ghosts. I understands dat Lord Cornwallis Jackson claims LORD CORNWAIXIS SEES A GHOST. the howe for years. Was it th» genuine Penstock or an importer? He was cross-eyed, humpbacked and walked side­ ways. Fraternally. » KYANN WHITE. The Rev. Penstock was on his feet and waving his arms before the letter was finished, and as soon as the Sec­ retary had concluded he shouted: "Misser President, de readilj' of dat letter is an insult on me. aa' I potest!" "BrudderPenstock, becalm." "I can't be calm, sah! It'» no time to tell a man to be calm when he's bin insulted." s "I can't see dat -W has tola in­ sulted!" - * "Yo'can't! Yo' can't! Has de President of dis Club lost all his sense?" "Brudder Penstock!" said the Presi­ dent in a husky voice, as he walked out from behind his desk, "sot right down dis minit or sunthln will occur to make yer heart ache!" Penstock hesitated a few seconds and then sat down, and after a deep silence, lasting a full minute, Brother Gardner observed: "I doan' see nuffin' to git excited ober. If a man goes down Souf or out West an'calls hlsself arter me or any odder member I doan' see why we should git excited. Yo' is no better dan de rest of us, Brudder Pen­ stock." "I move dat we offer $5,000 reward fur his arrest," said the Reverend. "We shan't do nuffln' of de sort. We shall offer de usual fifty, an' if de pussen is nebber cotched we shan't go intomournin'ober it." The Reverend privately informed Givadam Jones that he would spend $2,006 of his own money to bring the imposter to justice, and if this meets the eye of the man who walks sideways he will see the necessity of taking to the brush at once. EVERYTHING BALANCES--The Hon. Canterbury Snowdrop then secured the floor to ask for information. He had heard it hinted in certain quar­ ters that the Treasurer couldn't make his books balance into 42 cents, and that he had been forced to give the Club a chattel mortgage on his furni­ ture to secure Ifche shortage. Did such a state of affairs^xist, or had the ru­ mor been spread abroad by enemies of the Club? "Brudder Snowdrop," answered the President, with a vigor that put out three of the lamps closest to his desk, "does you imagine dat I has gone blind an' deaf?" THE PRESIDENT EXPLAINS THE FINAN* CIAL CONDITION OF THE CLUB. dat a ghost woke him up one night las' spring an' told him dat his brud­ der down in Kentucky was dead. If sich a thing should happen agin Brud­ der Jackson would lose his member­ ship yere, speshully 'as I happen to know dat he nebber had any brudder. V REMITTED.--Sir Isaac Walpole de­ sired to call up the case of Elder Toots. Three weeks ago the Elder fell asleep during the meeting and rolled down the back stairs and broke a door. He was promptly fined $7,000 under the provision of by-law No. 7284, and at that time he said he would pay the fine. After a little JJguring,? however, he had discovered lie would be obliged to live 672 years to do it,, and had become discouraged. He had paid for the door and was willing to donate a bunch of shingles towards the repairs on the roOf of Watermelon Hall, but he could do no more. Sir Isaac moved that the fine l>e remitted and the Elder, restored to all his rights and privileges. "As dis seems to be de sense of de meetin' it sliall be done," said the President; "but I hope de great moral lesson will hot be lost sight of. If de purceedins of dese meetin's can't keep a member awake, he'd better keep away." INVITATION ACCEPTED.--The Secre­ tary then announced the following communication: HOLYOKE, MASS., July 96,1891. Brother Gardner. HONORED BIB: At the last meeting of the Kold Kumfort Klub, of this city, a unani­ mous invitation was extended you to ad­ dress thin assemblage at such lime and on such topic as you niay at your leisure and in ycur judgment deem advisable. Assur­ ing you of this Klub's kindliest regard and trusting for an early response, I have the honor of ascribing myself your most hum­ ble servant. * KASJLBIANCA KCMBACK. "While I shan't hev much time fur trabblin' around from dis on to cold weather," explained the Presi­ dent, "de Sekretary kin reply dat I will accept dis invitashun. I will be in Holyoke on de cavenin' of de 13th inst., an' my address befo' de Kold Kumfort Klub will be entitled, 'De Great Problem: What Shall We Do wid de White Man?' De address will last two hours, an' in it I shall advance thffty-two different reasons why de white folks should be colon­ ized in Liberia an' dis kentry given up to de cull'd people."" FIFTY DOLLARS REWARD.--It was with considerable emotion that the Secretary read the following epistle: JACKSON. MXSS.. July 22. '91. Hon. Bio. Gardner: DEAR RIII--A colored man. calling him­ self the Rev. Penstock, of your Club, struck this town two weeks ago and began to can­ vass for money to erect an asylum in New York for the benefit of aged and decayed Whitewashes. I was thoroughly satisfied of his identity and went about with him and helped him to raise $28. I also boarded him two weeks for nothing. When he left he stole my three white shirts, a pair of shoes and the rabbit's fo«t 1 have kept iu "N--no, sah!" "Has yo' any reason to believe dis. Glub am run like a Nashunal bank?" ' 'Skassly, sah--skassly." "Let me tell yo', Brudder Snow­ drop, dat when de books in dis Club doan' balance right up to a cent yo' woii't h'ar any rumors flyln' around! Yo'll h'ar an' feel an airthquake right in dis hall! Dar hain't nuffln' in dis Club which doan' balance, like a grist gwine to mill on hossback, an' dat's de way it will be run as long as I run it! Yo' kin now sit down an' feel tickled, an' as de flah in de stove seems to hev gone out we'll put de rest of de bizness in de Ice-box an' go home.--[New York World. Gabby Surrendered. Even if Representative Jason U. Brown doeiB come from a rural dis­ trict in Indiana, he has no hayseed in his hair. A few days ago he hired a cab in front of the Rigs House and drove around to the Sun building, where he expected to meet a friend to accompany him on a visit. But his friend was not there, and so he drove back to the hotel, around the corner. The trip occupied just six minutes. "How much?" he asked the cab­ man. t. "Seventy-five cents." "Oh, no," said Mr. Brown, "you can only charge 75 cents an hour." "It's just the same for a portion of an hour," said cabby. "If that Is the case," said Mr. Brown, "you can wait here for the balance of the hour. I will be in the hotel when your hour is up." Then he disappeared through the door­ way. In less than fifteen minutes the cabby capitulated. "Give me 25 cents and I will go away," he said. He got his money and departed.--[Washington Post. Laij. "Mose" Little was a shiftless in­ habitant of a Maine town, who would not work a minute more than was necessary to get money enough to sup­ port him in his Idleness for a few days. He went into the village store to purchase some groceries, one item of which was a dollar's worth of flour. He put the smaller articles In a basket, which he took on one arm, while he carried the flour on the other. All at once he set the bundle down. "Say, Jake," said he, "is flour lower?" "Yes," replied Jake. "We give thirty-five pounds for a dollar now, Instead of thirty." "Well, drawled Mose, "I'll be glad when It goes up again, so I sha'n't have to lug so much home for a dollar." : •> . Hot to a Finish. The sergeant in charge of tbm Wood bridge street police station has ? learned to size up a complaint by (im- " v"" look at the complainer, and is there- ' fore able to save himself a great deal ! of useless labor. Yesterday, as he * sat writing up his report, with thet rain pattering against the alley win-- „ H* dows and the dark sky giving promise . . of few drunks for the afternoon, a. man entered. The sergeant looked!: up, read him through in ten seconds and went on with his writing. "I was going along ," said the| man as he took a chair and gazed at the opposite wall. No answer. "As I said, I was going along Jef­ ferson avenue " ,, No answer. ;iv "Going along Jefferson;. when a feller about twice as 1% at I ami " * ' ' , No answer. "About twice as big as I am, ftqdL with a cast in the eye " No answer. "Cast in one eye, came out of I place called a sample room- " 1 No answer. "Where they keep samples of beer ., Mr and whisky, and he beckoned to me '" like this » » No answer. "And I thought he wanted, to M* • me on business " ' . v' ' No answer. • "And so L went up to ̂hla wItH a pleasant smile on-->--" ^, No answer. ; "On my face, and I asked himwhalk • ^ he seemed to desire. And what did he do " * ' •' J The sergeant raised his eyes, looked ' Jjf at him in a vacant way for exactljl > twenty-eight seconds and then pointed to the door. The man arose, gave his umbrella a shake and opened the door and passed out without a word. Then the j skies lowered, the rain fell still more lHt drearily and the sergeant turned on • another light and went on with hi# .; 4 list of drunks and disorderlies [De troit Free Press. ;'4 - !> ' " I W Taken la. -Wi Thickly Peopled. If Any one should be asked which is the most thickly populated country on the American continent, about the last place thought of would be Salva­ dor, yet the last census shows that Salvador has 644,513 inhabitants, or seventy to the squrre mile, a greater number according to area than any ether American country. President Lincoln's sage, proverb relative to the disadvantage of "swap? ping horses in the middle of th$ stream" applies to many of the ordl- ' nary affairs of life. Especially should it be taken to heart by the joker wh® is not sure of his game. Says tha war correspondent, IrVlng Montagu, in "Camp and Studio:" During the Russo-Turkish war* when we were on very short commons* we were one day about to do justica to a fowl which we had--well!--* caught, and duly cooked. On turn* • ing, we were surprised to find one of§ a long train of Cossack bullock-driW els, stopping and looking down at .ai3 tilth envious curiosity. f J s We began talking to him with playfM ful badinage, rubbish which we feltl being in English, would do wel| ^ enough for an ill-bred Muscovite. H# listened to our chaff with stolid in# difference, until Coningsby, dividing the fowl, and holding up one half bj||i the drumstick, said: "Does a fondness for cold fowl ruo in your family, dear boy? This sort of thing would suit you to a T." In a moment that clumsy wagonef ! became a new man. All nervou#S energy and settled purpose, he sprang ; suddenly forward, grasped the fleshy end of that drumstick in his grimy fingers, and the next instant, had mangled it, with his teeth, beyond reclaim. He had taken Coningsby at hi# word, and we were left on short com* mons indeed, though this surprise^ sudden as It was, was quite eclipsed by that which followed, when thaf ; burly bullock-driver replied, In excel* lent English: J ^ "Ah, just so! Sad, isn't it? Verf sad. LoA your leg! But not in the service; no, not so bad as that, any-; how." f? Then, turning to a dog which I had,, not before noticed, he said: "Crunch, poor Crunch! too? Never mind, there's the bonef Make the best of It. Thank you. Good-morning. Remember, therf may be Britishers in Cossack garb, well as wolves In sheep's clothing." U •'Twenty-five Off." A want of familiarity with busines| practices sometimes leads to amus: and sometimes to embarrassing re* suits; and occasionally to both. A woman who kept a small seaside hotel thought it would be profitable to bring the fact to the attention of th# public. Accordingly she drafted jk. suitable advertisement, and carried It to the counting-room of a newspaper, where she inquired the expense several Insertions. It was the custom of this paper* where advertisements were inserte# more than four times, to deduc< twenty-five per cent, from the usual rates. The clerk read over what she had written, estimated the space i| would require, and said: "It wilf come to twenty-six dollars; but as if Is going in over four times, it will be twenty-fl ve off." ' "Oh!" She exclaimed, "why that'jB very reasonable;" and putting down dollar she started for the door. It was difficult to tell which wai the more embarrassed, the landlady or the clerk, when he called her bacSl and explained that "twenty-five off* meant twenty-five per cent., ami not 'twenty-five dollars." ? The Colossus of Khodes. ' This was a gigantic statue of Apollo, or the sun-god. It rested oa moles on each side of the beautiful harbor of Rhodes, and vessels passed between its brazen legs. It was over 100 feet in height, and there were winding stairs by which it was as# cended. The statue held in one hand a light forthe direction of mariners. 1$ was thrown down, presumably by ail earthquake, and never rebuilt; but fragments of the statue remained fo?; 800 years. At length a Jewish mer* chant bought the brass and loaded 900 camels with it. The value of the brass was estimated at $150,000. At the present time the harbor of Rhodes is nearly useless, and- the lsf land has many times suffered fron|. earthquakes. SIV 3 • "f *!' J •' - *' i «,..***• Sfe tl:0i I - [ .. / * T? J •; ^ ̂ * w. i You cannot put old heads on younjf "aJ shoulders, but you can put old hatf : ^ on young heads. IT is better to be right than to bi.'V let*. , • , T; K >, *