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H fMI tlYXE, Editor and Publisher, MoHBNRY, ILLINOIS. WHEN OLD JACK DIED BY JAMJW WB1TOOMB BII.ET. " i Old Jack died we stayed from School (they said, Ai home we needn't go that day.) and none Of ns ate any breakfast--only one, And «h»u was papa--and his e>ea were red Wlwm lie cmim round where we were, by the shed Where Jack w»« lying hiilf way In the sun. And half way in the «hade. When we begun *toorv out loud, pa turned and dropped nla head , went away ; find Mamma, she went back _ito tl>e kitchen. Then, for a long while, All to ourselves like, we stood there and V cried; W<i thought so many good things of Old Jack, And funny things--although we didn't smile We couldn't only cry when Old Jack died. When, Old Jack died, it seemed a human friend Had suddenly gone from us; that some face That we bad loved to fondle and embrace Worn f'ab^ood 110 mure would condescend Jto smile on us forever. We might benJ With teartnl eyes above him, interlace Our chubby fingers o'er him, romp and raM, MMA with him, call and coax--aye, we might- Rend Vfce old halloo up for h'm, whistle, hist, (If sobs had let us,) or. as wildly vain, Snapped t humb!), called "tpeak," and he ? had not replied; might have gone down on our knee* and *$;t = kissed * : ' - « h ? t o u s l e d e a r s , a n d v e t t h e y m u s t r e m a i n 5 > ~ " " ' ' * ' «•! jne*», Wfttle," said the girl, as she rose to her feet and began putting on her jaunty little traveling hat. "We shall begin work at once, you are willing. Our hours are m long, but while we work, we work. If m- m. $s\ ix * •• Deaf motionless, we knew, when Old Jack died. > Wheii Old Jack die<l it seemed to us, some way, Vfa*t all tlie other dogs in town were paiued With our bereavement, and some that were chained Bven unslipped their collars on that day So visit Jack in state, as though to pay A last sed tribute there; while neighbors craned Vtiair heeds above the high board fence, and deigned *3toalgh •' Poor dog!" remembering how they Had cuffed him when alive, pe. chance, be- " • -il cause, "' y _ jflor love of them, he leaped to lick their hands-- 1 "Now that heconldnot, were they satis- *v fied? children thought that, as wm crossed his paws, • 5 Acd o'er his grave, 'way down the bottom .*. lands, !ff> . Wrote "Our First Love Lies Hw," when Old Jhck died. THE TYPEWRITER. h: k S? <v •"V" v 'jzk- IM John C. Bush, ruler and potentate Bf the flourishing firm of Bush, Mer­ rill & Co., had advertised for a new typewriter, and Mrs. John Bush, su­ preme ruler and potentate of the afore­ mentioned ruler and potentate, was on tender hooks accordingly. Now, there is something rather plebeian and vulgar about jealousy, even at the best, but jealousy promis­ cuously indulged in, and without re­ spect of persons, is tant pis, as the French say. Nevertheless, Mrs. Bush was not at. mil particular as to the persons against Whom she turned the gatfing guns of ber ire and suspicion. They were directed alike towards her •next-door neighbor, the vivacious little widow of a deceased banker, and the waiting- maid at her own table. Only once had there been a comely-looking ser­ vant in the Bush establishment, and She had been packed off bag and bag­ gage within twenty-four hours of her arrival, for Mrs. Bush could forgive anything in a servant rather than good looks. Indeed, Mrs. Bush's domestics tiad came in time to have a kind of local reputation of their own for pro­ nounced and extreme ugliness. As the genial head of the household sometimes remarked under his breath --it made his face ache to look at them. But if Mrs. Bush held absolute and despotic sway under her own roof- tree, there were other places where she felt that the-potent voice of her ^authority must, of necessity, be dumb, and such a place was the flourishing warehouses of Bush, Merrill & Co. If Bush, Merrill & Co. thought best to employ a female type­ writer, Mrs. Bush found that she must ••'possess her soul in patience," even though it cost her a pang. If this female typewriter should turn out to toe young and pretty, Mrs. Bush saw the necessity of still submitting to the inevitable, with, at least, out­ ward composure, though it cost her another pang, even moreintense than the former. Thtre was only one bright spot in Mrs. Bush's somber thoughts that morning, and that was that she was momentarily expecting the arrival of * favorite niece of hers. Miss -Janet Wells, who was coming, in response to an oft-t-epeated and cordial invitation, to make her a visit. Miss Wells had been educated abroad and had lived for the past ten years of her life in Dresden, and so it bad come to pass that Mrs. Bush had not set eyes on her niece since her marriage with the senior member of fiush, Merrill & Co. When at last the cab had rumbled «p to the front door and her aunt had piloted Janet to her room, where the outer coating of soot and grime at­ tendant on a long railroad journey was duly removed from that young lady's fair exterior, Mrs. Bush felt that the responsibilities connected her position of hostess had been mplished, and throwing her arms ut Janet's neck, her overburdened rt found expression in a torrent of ysterical sobs. "Dear, dear auntie, what is the matter!" exclaimed the surprised girl, meanwhile drawing Mrs. Bush down upon the lounge beside her and plac­ ing a protecting and comforting arm .about the weeping matron's waist. And then Mrs. Bush told her all. _^She will be beautiful, Janet!" ex- Claimed M rs. Bush. 4 'The other was f»retty, but not pretty enough: so she <*as discharged. There will be no mistake this time--the new One will ®e beautiful, I tell you!" remonstrated the girl, U ncle. «*0hn , may never give her a Shought, outsme of a business way." "Outside <w a business way!" re- t®eated her "that's just it! Everything he does will be dictated purely by the requirements of his *>usiness! He can flirt with her all flay long in his private office, and ftill it -will be set down to a pressure Lployer ;!|f(correspondence. Oh, I'd give al-< "By "that I intend to apply for sition of typewriter to the firm of Bush, Merrill & Oo,'\ "Never, Janet! I will not let you!" 4 4 But you cannot help yourself, auntie, dear," said Janet, with a de­ cided little toss of her pretty head; "I am going to do it! You will never be happy until you know the truth, and you will never be able to know the truth in any other way. Uncle John will not know me, as he has never seen me, and if he hires me I can tell you faithfully what goes on in that inner office. The only question is whether I can get the po­ sition or not." "No fear of that," said Mrs. Bush with a little shrug of her shoulders, as her eyes rested on the exquisitely proportioned figure and the aristo­ cratic face of her niece. "You'll be hired fast enough. But can you run the typewriter; Janet?" "I ought to be able tdf* answered Janet with a smile of assurance, "since I've done all father's amanu­ ensis work with it for the last six years. I'm an expert, auntie!" , "Then you'll suit," said Mrs. Bush, with a half sigh. "But what shall we tell John when he meets you here and finds it out?" 4Oh, we'll tell him it was only a joke, auntie. I'll take all the blame, if there is any--good-by!" And hav­ ing secured the address of Bush, Mer­ rill & Co.'s wa^house, Janet kissed Mrs. Bush affectionately arid went tripping lightly down the steps. Arrived at the business of Bush, Merrill & Co., Janet found a hetero­ genous company of women,of all ages, kinds and descriptions, awaiting an interview with the head of the firm. Having waited her turn, she was at length ushered into the private office, where sat among a pile of papers, a gentlemen of perhaps 50, with iron gray hair and a pair of kindly blue eyes. Mr. Bush, I believe," said Janet, by way of introduction. Yes," said the gentleman, with a pleasant smile. "What can I do for you?" I--I have come in answer to your -advertisement," faltered Janet. Ah,to be sure,the advertisement," said the merchant, evidently not a little surprised. Are you a type­ writer?" Yes, I am--that is, I have been one," stammered the girl, who grew more and more ill at ease under the keen scrutiny of the merchant. "And you wish to be one again?" Janet looked up quickly at this stange question, and thought she de­ tected a merry twinkle in her uncle's blue eye's, which, however, vanished immediately. "Yes." "Do you think yourself competent to carry on the business Of a large firm?" 4'Perfectly." "Could Jbu furnish us references from your former employers?". "I--I could, but it would take some little time," faltered Janet, who felt her heart failing her at the direction the conversation was taking. "Well, perhaps it will not be nec­ essary," said the merchant, after a moment's deep thought, during which he bad drummed a soft tattoo on the desk before him with his fin­ gers. "Will you be Kind enough to sit down at the machine over there and let me dictate to you?" lyith a feeling of relief Janet seated herself at the typewriter and the merchant began to dictate rapidly to her, evidently in answer to an open lettler, whjfch lay upon the desk be­ fore him- This is what he dictated and Janet wrote: Messra. Johnson, Fish A Co.: DEAE BIBS--In reply to yours of the 8 h inst. would say that I have decided apon having the coupe lined throughout with the dark russet velvet, as per sample shown me. Finish as quick as possible and ship via. N. Y. & N. E.. It must be here by the 1st of the month, as my wife's birthday oc­ curs on the 3d, for which event it is intended as a gift. Yours truly. JOHN C. BUSH. The envelope waft4 addressed to Johnson, Fish & Co., carriage build­ ers, 93 Broad street, New York. "Have you finished?" asked the merchant, in a rattling business-like tone. 4'Yes, sir," answered Janet, pass ing the printed sheet and envelope into his outstretched hand. He pe­ rused it rapidly and then, with a grunt of satisfaction, said: "Very well; try another." And then he dictated rapidly againt and again Janet's nimble fingers flew over the keys, as the words fell from his lips. Mr. Henry C. Barnes: DEAB SIB--YOU had better send the bays through with a groom, and get them here by the 20th inst. You may cut the tails a trifle, but I do not wish them cobbed as they are intended for my wife and she con­ siders it a cruelty. Yours truly. JOHN C. BUSH. The envelope to this letter, when addressed, read, "The Henry C. Barnes Stock Farm, Cedar Springs,' Ky." Again the merchant took the letter from Janet's outstretched hand, and, having run his eyes rapidly over it, said: • "You'll do. .Now about salary-- what do you expect?" "I--I had not thought about that," stammered Janet, blushing under this brusque, almost brutal treat­ ment. x 4'Humph!" grunted the merchant; "it's necessarily quite a consideration with people who wcjj-k for their liv­ ing, however. the po- you fully understand this to begin with, it will save you a greaA deal of trouble in the end. "I shall do my best," replied Janet, haughtily. 4'We shall expect you to, Miss Granger," returned the merchant, shortly, and again it seemed to Janet that there was the same unpleasant emphasis upon the name. It is safe to call that day the long­ est of Janet Wells' life. When the merchant had said that work was work in the office he had spoken only the literal truth, and when, at the hour of 5 p! m., Janet was told short­ ly that she might "go" she escaped into the street with the feeling of a liberated prisoner. Too much ex­ hausted and worn out to walk, she called a cab and was driven rapidly to her aunt's house. "Well, how is it, Janet?" asked the anxious matron, as the girl came rap­ idly up the steps to where she stood, bareheaded, upon the tt^eshold. But Janet answered never a word, but pushing hurriedly by her aunt, entered the parlor and threw herself upon „t he lounge in a torrent of sobs. 4 4What is it, dear?" said Mrs. Bush, trying vainly to comfort her. "Is he so bad as that?" 44Yes, he is," moaned Janet. "Why didn't--you--tell me he was--an-- an--" "What, dear--a flirt?" suggested Mrs. Bnsh. . . "No," snapped Janet; "bat an ogre!" --; And then she gave her aunt a de­ tailed account of the events of the day, and, in ending, said: 4'And to think that at the vt?ry moment you supposed him carrying on with me, he was preparing a de­ lightful surprise for you. auntie!" 4 'A delightful surprise! What is It, Janet?" He's going to give you a beautiful birthday present, an elegant coupe, lined throughout in russet velvet, and a pair of Kentucky thoroughbreds, with their tails cut just a little, auntie. I know, because I wrote both letters myself. That's the kind of a faithless husband you've got!" Late that night, when her husband returned home, Mr. Bush, contrary to her usual custom, met him at the door with a beaming face. 4'I'm so glad you've come, dear!" she said, as she kissed him affection­ ately; "Janet is here. Come into the parlor, Lwant to introduce you." Mrs. Bush led her husband into the brilliantly lighted reception room, where Janet attired in a clinging evening costume of soft mull, stood waiting in trembling expectancj'. Both Mrs. Bush and Janet had looked for a quick start of surprise from the merchant when his eyes should first meet the figure of his quandom type­ writer in that of his wife's niece. What was their surprise, then, when the gentleman advanced toward Janet and said, in the most cordially unaffected manner:. r "As I told you this morning, my dear, work is work. But after hours, even an old fellow like myself may be permitted to enjoy himself," and bending .over he pressed a courtly kiss upon Janet's cheek. "What, you knew, John?" ex­ claimed Mrs. Bush, in consternation. "Yes, I knew, Mary," said her hus­ band, with a hearty laugh. "You really couldn't expect me not to, you know, when J've had her picture in your album for the last six months to look at whenever I wanted to. One doesn't forget a face )ike yours, Miss Wells, even thougl^ he knows he is expected to. But to what, if I may ask, was I indebted for my pleasant companion to-day?" "Oh, it was only a little joke that Janet and I hatched up this morn- insr, John," laid Mrs. Bush, hur­ riedly,, while Janet blushed scarlet. "I thought as much," said the mer* chant, nodding his head,as if the lame explanation was an entirely satisfac­ tory and conclusive one. He was a keen enough man of the world to have an idea or two of liis own upon the subject, which, however, as a dutiful husband and uncle, he kept to himself. "And now,'Sir," said his wife, play­ fully, taking him by the lapels of his coat and shaking him, "now, sir, what have you to say about a certain coupe lined throughout in russet vel­ vet, and, two- Kentucky thorough­ breds, with their tails cut just a lit­ tle? Come, sir, what have you to say to that?" "Well," said Mr. Bush, witfi the merriest twinkle in his blue eyes, "as you and Janet seemed to relish a joke so much, I thought I would indulge in one myself/ And that was my lit­ tle joke, Mary."--[Utlca Globe IOLED BY A TAME BEAR. Europe |done by toe- in Tiu, Hug* j«im Fut vp ®n a* Ka*ueh and dogs are frequently hitched to- •.-*» -s sfortsmvn. ' *' • J gfetfter, and sometimes a woman is "I've done some b'ar hunting in my yoked with a cow to draw a load of time, I reckon," said Grizzly Bill, j produce to the city. Many of these pulling his shaggy red beard rnedi- j peasant women will carry upon their tatively, says a San Francisco corres- j heads a load of vegetables that few pondent, ."and I've laid out about as [ American men could easily lift. These many of'em as riiost, but the b'ar j women have the muscles of the waist hunt that we had right here, less'n j and trunk thoroughly developed. De- five years ago, 'ud lay over any show as I ever seen in the theayter at 'Frisco, and this was how it was: "We'd got a young Britisher just cum to the valley that time who war death On shootin', and carried nuff guns and pistols with him to kill every critter as cum out o' the ark. "He had good stuff Jn. him some-* wheres, I reckon, for he giv' a heap of dollars to them sick folks down Fever Hollow way, and he could rough it without grunt in' and growlin' at suthin' every minute, like some on 'em. "But he did not put on airs, that's a fact. To hear them talk you'd hev thought the tallest shooting in the Rockies warn't in it along/)' his'n, arid at last the boys got mad at his crowinV and me and two or three more 'lowed we'd show him some sport, and see what he was made of. 4 One night Breakneck Ben cum in and said he'd sighted a b'ar trail on the hill above our gulch, so we sent off Scalpln Sam full split to tell the [Britisher. "Wal, I reckon that tenderfoot had grit in him, though he war sich an etarnal fool. Sam 'lowed the b'ar was bigger'n a bu flier, but the Brit­ isher warn't skeered a bit. He just Whipped up his rifle and came running up the gulch for all he war worth, and him and me and Bed and Sam we all sot off together to find the b'ar. "As we went along' I says to Ben, thoughtful like: " 4Ben, warn't it right here as we found that half-eaten feller whose nam& nobody ever knowed?' 4 4 4You bet," said Ben. 'He'd slipped down atwixt two rocks and stuck fast so as he couldn't get out agin, and the wolves thev cum around and gobbled up all the top half of him, chunk by chunk, and when we found him there warn't nuthin left but his legs, cause they couldn't get at them.' 4 44 4Aml up yander, by that white stone,'chips in Sam, 'was whar the Dutchman fit the grizzly. He'd let drop his gun down the canyon and had only his bowie to flght with; so the b'ar got aholton him and giv him a hug that bruck his back just as he run the bowie plumb into the b'ar's heart. It war an even game atwixt 'em, I reckon, and the honors war easy.' "And so we went, one worse'n tother; but, say what we liked, we didn't skeer the tenderfoot worth a cent--he'dhgot grit in him; make no mistake. "Wal, pretty soon we got into jist as mean a place as you could think of to meet a b'r in--a long, straight can­ yon, as deep as a mine, with rocks on each side that a eatamount couldn't climb--and whenever you met, no room to dodge or run, you'd got to stand squarely up and flght it out. "I was jist sayin' to Ben, 'Pard,. if ,the b'ar catches us here it'll be mighty rough on some of us,' when there cum a snort and a growl over­ head, and a big b'ar cum tearin' down the gully full gallop right at Us. "We boysletstrip, but we must ha' been kind 0' nervous, for we all missed, an' fore the Britisher could fire I gripped his arm and' said: 4Hold in till I give the word, for if you miss he'll lay oat the hull lot of us!' "The tenderfoot clinched his teeth and stood ready, and down cum the b'ar! But just as he got within ten yards I held out my hand and hol­ lered. 'Up!' and up got the b'ar on his hind legs, and began to dance, a hornpipe.1 ' "You see, it war a tame b*ar, as we'd got from French Pete, of" Dog- town, to git the laugh of that Brit­ isher, and Pete himself cum along with it and let it loose down the gulley jist at the right minuted "Wall, if ever I seen a fellow look sick it was that Britisher jist thin. Fact, he felt so bad that we were kind o' sorry for him a'ter all,. "but 'fore he quit he killed three genuine b'ar himself, and could laugh at that • trick same as we did." ^ Siberia Importing Figs. Siberia has taken to raising pigs and to improving the breed. The world only knows Russia as the place where Russian and Polish exiles suf­ fer the horrors of a barbarous system and where American and English explorers meet death from starvation and cold. Its only product is sup­ posed to be salt, and nobody thinks of it as a country having any capabili­ ties of progress. Yet Siberia is rich in great possibilities. Its southern portion contains agricultural tracts of great fertility. It has vast forests of tine timber and great stores of, un­ developed mineral wealth. There are Russian communities away from the penal settlements which are growing rich and prosperous. In We"shall give you $10 j time the country is bound to become spite their hardships, they do not suffer from the back-ache of displace­ ments, or other ailments which the women who dress fashionably are con­ stantly afflicted with.--Phrenological Journal. ' When and How to Bat. jFood should be properly cooked, well selected, and slowly and thor­ oughly masticated. The nervous sys­ tem should be in a state of calm dur­ ing eating. You should sit down at the table without worry and without hurry. The process of eating well is a sci­ ence. The food should not be bolted, and hurried into the stomach before it is ready to be placed there. "some of you, I warrant, hurry to the table, hurry through the" eating of your dinner, and hurry away from the table to engage in some physical or mental labor. This is all wrong. The best thing to do, If possible, is to sit quietly back in an easy chair and just doze, while digestion is go­ ing on, or for a time at least, until di­ gestion is completed. I think it is better to rest in an easy chair than to recline on a sofa. Your dinner should come at that part of the day when you can give the most time to its quiet digestion. I think a dinner at night for peo­ ple engaged in bodily labor is better than at noon. At night the day's work is done, and the social pleasure and companionship of the family around the table is better enjoyed than in the hurry of the noon hour. There is plenty of time after a 6 o'clock dinner for digestion, and if you are a heavy eater you should not retire before 10 o'clock. After the fast of the night and a good sleep a substantial breakfast should be taken before the day's labor is begun. It is nothing to boast of that you can go to work before eating. The best thing for most people to eat first in the morning is an orange. You all ought to have a diet marked out for you showing the best varieties of food and their quality in reference to sustaining different parts of the system. Nitrogen and carbon are the two principal ingredients of food. .Nitrogen supplies the waste of tissues and carbon furnishes heat. Plants and vegetables inhale car­ bonic acid gas and exhale oxygen. Animals inhale oxygen and exhale carbonic acid gas. Curious, is it not?--The Family , most anything if I could watch him i . :• ,-^ust for one day, and see what really j foes on inithat inner office when the oor i6 closed J" ' *•"" > "You caa!"» said Jan^t, after a' s ^moment's silence, during which a brilliant scheme had been gradually f formulating in her active brain. 4<Ani I pretty enough for a type- Afe writer, auntie?" « "What do you mean, Janet?" said tier aunt, staring Hi IWank amaze- : cuenk. • ,* * with.. When you j progressive- The climate"ofTta south- us a month or two! ern provinces is mild and healthy, and it is watered by great rivers that afford splendid facilities for trade. The importation of a number of improved English pigs is a sign of tHq times. A large consignment of tile finest breed of Yorkshire pigs left London , recently for .Siberia. They selected from the famous herd of San- By the way, what is your name?" ders Spencer of Holywell Manor, a week to begin have been with you may expect a slight advance--! that is if you give satisfaction and are I competent. Is that satisfactory?" J "Perfectly," said Janet, who felt a strong irTclirratioiji to,rise like an of- : fended goddess, and sWe hated office and ep from the equally hated em- asked the merchant, and as he did so ; whose piggeries are said to contain his kfcen eyes were fastened upon the girl's burning face, with a .fixed and prolonged scrutiny. "Miss--Miss Granger," faltered Ja­ net. whose presence of mind almost some of the finest specimens of the world. And they are to be followed soon by other lots. It is a positive relief to get such encouraging news , from Siberia. A little more of it and failed her in the-light of the point i people will not«feel a freezing sensa* blank lie which she found herself i tion creeping oyer them at the bare obliged to tell. "Very well, Miss Granger," said her uncle, with, as it seemed to the I Rirlj the least suspicion of an unpleas- j ant emphasis upon the name. mention of ^e name. Pigs §& ter all, a sign of progress. THE fool that kills himself mistakes the wrong person. ^ never Woman Not the Weaker Veaaal. Among savages the woman is just as healthy as the man. Considered as. an animal from a physiological standpoint, a woman is capable of more hard work, of enduring more hardship, deprivation, and disease than a man. A woman will endure where a man will succumb and break down entirely. She is not naturally the weaker vessel, and certainly ill some respects a woman is constitu­ tionally the superior. Out of an equal number of male and female in­ fants there will be found at the end of the first year of life a larger num­ ber of girls alive than boys, accord­ ing to statistics. This discrepancy continues up to the age of fifteen or sixteen, when the mortality becomes greater among the girls.. At the age of forty or fifty the death rate is about equal in both sexes, and, finally, the oldest inhabitant is always a wo­ man---thus showing thatrher constitu­ tional fund, of vitality is naturally greatest. It is sometimes argued that a woman is naturally weaker and inferior because the average1 weight <of her brain is from four to six ounces less than that of the average irian, and that thus her intellectual quality is less as well as her physical But when the size of a woman's brain is considered in comparison with the. weight of her bt»dy, it is evident that a woman has more brain per pound than a man, and if that be a proper standard of comparison, then woman is the superior. There is no physical reason .why a woman should be more feeble or diseased than a man. Stan­ ley was furnished with 200Tnt'gftj wo­ men to carry Ills stuff Into the inter­ ior of AfiSea, and he found them the best |K>rters he had employed, al­ though he felt very doubtful about accepting their services when first promised. The Mexican Indian wo­ man is able to carry her household goods on her back with two or three babies on top when a change of loca­ tion is desirable. Meanwhile her husband trudges bravely along carry­ ing his gun. On the continent of Marvelone Scale*. This marvelous instrument is a ponderous and peculiarly built weigh­ ing machine, standing about seven feet hign, \nd weighing about two tons. The whole is under a huge glass case/ access being gained thereto by a sliding panel. The scale is worked by hydraulic power, and is the most sensitive weighing machine in exis­ tence. The foundation, which is of solid concrete, is sunk to a depth of sixteen feet, so that not a jar can affect the clean balance. The manager sets the hydraulic power in motion by means of a small wheel, and then touches an ivory but­ ton at the side. Immediately the en­ tire scale, weighing hundreds of pounds, sinks some seven inches, and is ready for weighing. "We will first weigh a postage stamp," observed the suave gentle­ man. On each side the scales are fitted with weights amounting to 400 ounces. When gold is to be weighed the smaller weights on the balance are withdrawn, and the gold placed on one of the two ledges. The gold is made up in 400 ounce bars, and the difference of one-thousandth part of an ounce can be detected. The stamp being added to the 400 ounce weights another Ivory button is touched and the index jumps a dis­ tance of six inches! Think of it, six inches on the index for a postage stamp! But the most wonderful in­ cident was yet in store for me. "Supposing a bar contains more than this scale, is made to weigh," ex­ plains the ipanager, "any other scale would go to its limit and give no sign. Not this one, however." To prove this he adds one quarter of an ounce more than the maximum weight, when, instead of the index moving, there is a pause of some few seconds and then an electric bell commences ringing. There is something terribly human about the mec^nism which declines to execute a task of which it is incapable. This is the only bal­ ance of its kind in the world. The maker has never constructed a dupli­ cate. This triumph of the mechan­ ical art cost exactly two thousand pounds sterling. The silver scale is, of course, not so finely balanced, and the two are respectively christened "The Lord Chief Justice" and "The Lord High Chancellor^"--New York Herald. V4 inces ite. About t||||p^^|§M|3ibnth three children, years of age, near* 1n|M' in Shasta County, were fovtad» under the hoose, which was raised some what from the ground, having a fine time, they had been there within the hearing pf their mother for about an hour, shouting and laughing. Curious to know what entertained them, the mother finally looked in to find them playing with a rattlesnake. The snake pleased them greatly by coiling and sounding his string ol rattles, twelve in number. The childrdri were taken away Unharmed and the snake was killed." ° At Paul's mine, near this place, recently a youngster of 5 years, came down the hill to the mine carrying a rattlesnake with five rat­ tles In his hand. The boy had car­ ried the snake in view of the work­ men, who could not determine what he had for at least 200 yards. The little fellow held the snake some­ where near its middle, with both ex­ tremities of the reptile dangled about his bare feet and legs. The boy was told to drop it, which he did reluc­ tantly, and the men killed it. The snake was three feet in length, seemed active and in full possession of its faculties. Now, in the first instance noted here, the snake may not have had sufficient aggravation to cause it to strike; but in the latter instance this reason cannot be advanc^^lbi^st and Stream. To Be ttemerab«reiL A learned Scotchman once> said that although the children of his first school regarded him with senti­ ments of wonder and awe, they luck­ ily had but a faint idea of the terror with which he regarded them. We do not know whether the children of these days are always influenced by such subduing sentiments when the new teacher first introduces herself to them; we are inclined to think they are not; but we are quite surt, that most teachers when they stand for the first time in a school room be­ fore a bevy of boys and girls ex­ perience feelings akin to the terror of ,the Scotchman whom we have quoted. Now this word of advice. First, some are born to govern, and some are not... If, after experience the young teacher finds it difficult to control, she should seriously consi­ der whether it would not be wiser for her to labor in some other di­ rection. If, however, she finds her­ self influential in controlling, then she will flnd all friction reduced to a minimum, and many of the troubles which young teachers are wont to bring upon themselves are happily averted, if she deals justly, makes herself to her little boys and girls rich in kindnesses, and remembers that the children are given to her to shape and improve and not merely to cram with knowledge or to tyrannize over.--Popular Educator. _ flMtOsM are ttaivee, a Feraoual t*tiaff. First among punsters probably stands poor Hood. However true, in his pathetic words, it may be that he "pumped up fun" while continuallly suffering, it is certain that no reader would see any effort in his master­ pieces. Indeed, Hood bubbled over with puns. The sound, the sense, the wit are all combined with such nat­ ural ease, that they Seem to "start obsequious" to the mind of the writer without effort. And the reader has no need to go behind the scene, even as he has not the slightest need of- any adventitious explanation. "Then, Pallos, take away thine owl, And let us have a lark instead," written to Minerva when he was very ill, is as fine an instance of a gifted punster's powers as can well be im­ agined. So too, his drawing of an aid woman squalling'as a huge bat flaps past her cradle, and labelled "Bat and Bawl," is another of the same -description. But, indeed, to quote Hood's puns would be to enter on a field of blossoms whose very fer­ tility renders the task impossible. Compares with such exquisite light­ ness the labored productions of the Elizabethan and Jacobian age, where puns were facetiously supposed to be play upon words instead of very cum­ brous work indeed. Even Fuller, who was a born punstcflr, and consid­ ering his surroundings, a very suc­ cessful one, had only occasionally a light hand. And this is the essence of successful pun making. Douglas Jerrold, of course stands la the front rank; but all his best puns, flashing out like a rapier, had the rapier stab. The personality which was bitter, and which all but the vic­ tim appreciated, was their character* istic; for brilliant as Jerrold was, it cannot be.saldvthat his wit "Ne'er carried a heaHstain away on its blade." But, admitting the bitter­ ness how fine his puns arc! To the dull man who roared wit, "I know *. Heta'iietl. 'A tfe'W Haven le making his last round for the day,not long ago, according to the JRegister, when he unexpectedly found himself a prisoner. It was about half-past ten in the evening, and he was hasten­ ing from box to box, taking up their contents. His key was attached to a small but strong chain, which was fastened about his waist in such a way that it could be taken off only by having the key end of the chain. It is customary for the carriers to put the key in a breast-pocket after opening a box, the box being fastened again with a spring-lock. In the present case the key hap­ pened not to enter the man's pocket, but slid down inside the box unob­ served. He slammed up the loosely closing door, put on the padlock, snapped it, and darted onward. He took two steps, and was brought up with a suddenness that jarred both the man and the post. The key was inside the box, and the carrier was a prisoner. To remove the chain from his body was out of the question. He stood still, therefore, until a young man happened along. To him he ex­ plained his predicament, and in half an hour or so a duplicate key was brought from the postoffice and he was released. Whalee in the Columbia Rim. The people along the Columbia River thought they were prepared for anything in the fish line after the marvelous run of salmon which has been literally choking the river this season, but they were taken aback the other day when four whales crossed the bar and swam awav up the the stream. They were big fellows and disported themselves in a lively manner, owning the river for the' time being, as the steamboats were vCry careful to give them all the sea- room they wanted. After having all the fun and making all the excito ment they desired the whales swan back to: sea again. Vreat Seoit! Prof. Mayer has calculated that, if the motion of the earth were suddenly arrested, the temperature produced would be sufficient to melt and even volatilize It; while, if it fell into the sun, as much heat would be produced as results from the combustion of 5,000 spheres of carbon the size of our globe. CONTENTMENT is better tban money and Just about as scarce. • / lit IsS V"; ..*1* - A X. -m -i? * <( ' -j8 f » • * 'Tt' Courtttlilp A. V, 2000. Edward Bellamy in Ladies' Home Journal, says: While the unmarried women of the year 2000, whether young or old, will enjoy the dignity and independence of the bachelor of to-day the insolent prosperity at pres­ ent efijoyed by the latter will have passed into salutary, if sad, eclipse. No longer profiting by the effect of the pressure of economic necessity upon women, to make him indispen- sible, but dependent exclusively upon his intrinsic attractions, instead of being able to assume the fastidious airs of sultan surrounded by languish­ ing beauties, _he will be fortunate if he can secur<f by his luoerits the smiles of one. In the year/200)^ no man, whether lover or hUsJiatfid, may hope to win the favor of maid or wife save by desert. While the poet, justly apprehending the ideal proprieties, has always persisted in representing man at the feet of women, woman has been, in fact, the dependent and pensioner of man. Nationalism will justify the poet and justify the eter­ nal fitness of things by bringing him to his marrow-bones in earnest. But, indeed, we may b^ sure that in the year 2000 he will need no compulsion to assume that attitude. Koin* leg Superttitionii The ancient Finns believed that a mystic bird laid an egg on the lap of Yaimalnou, who hatched it in his bosom* He let it fall into the water and it broke, the lower portion of the shell forming the earth, the upper the sky; the liquid white became the sun and the yolk the moon, while the little fragments of broken shell were transformed into stars. English and Irish nurses instruct children when they have eaten a boiled egg to al­ ways push the spoon through the bot­ tom of the shell, 44or else the witches will make boats of them." In France a similar custom prevails, but the reasofi assigned for it is that the ma­ gicians formerly used eggs in concoct­ ing their diabolical witcheries. -0. -••• * •?>. you, Mr. Jerrold ! Yo^Ahan't make a butt of me!" the instantaneous reply, "Then don't bring your hogshead in here" was admirable, if we do not mind the bitter sarcasm. So, too, was the exclamation, "What ego­ tism!" to the diner who, replete, ex­ claimed "Calf's head for ever, I say!" So, too, his assertion that the hus­ band who sent his wife no money showed "unremitting kindness." Theodore Hook's puns were of a high order, tinged with the reckless­ ness which marked that unhappy^ brilliant and degraded career. To the friend who met him on his return, under arrest, from Mauritius for de­ falcation, and who understanding he was invalided, asked his complaint, his reply, "One of the chest," is epi- grammic enough, and showed how little he cared whether he himself or others were the object of his wit. But if we look at the puns of Sydney Smith, of Hood, and Charles Lamb, we shall see how absent is all bitter- ness» how present all playfulness in them. And this makes a good pun in all respects admirable. For the pun is in all respects different from the epigram. The latter is 'IT little thing which holds 'a* sting." And jg your true punster would he preserve his popularity as a contributor to "the harmless gaiety of nations," must avoid a sting. * • - •% 'MM r , » • Indian £ngll»H. /"Baboo English," as it is con- temptously called, affords occasional food for mirth among us; but English papers appear to be not altogether barren of like entertainment for the Baboo mind. An Indian--journal points out that the rejoicing of an English clerical organ over what it calls "the welcome news from India that three Bengal regiments have been converted," together with its observation that "Providence has in­ deed blessed our work," comprises a double mistake. * First, , the regi­ ments referred to are not at Bengal, but Madras regiments; and, secondly, "conversion" is in this case simply a technical term, implying that the regiments referred to have been abolished. Another "home journal" has, It appears, described the l$te Senapati as a person "whose civiliza­ tion is still so rudimentary that he feeds on insects." This mysterious charge having been investigated by our Indian contemporary, it turns out that its sole foundation was the fact that the Senapati was accustomed to chew betels---that is, betel nuts. It was an accidental misspelling in the telegraphic message that gave rise to what the English journal very correctly described as "An extraor­ dinary story from Manipur."^|^^M|i Daily News. - Clironfe Rain. /^3foung men who ape English man- 6ers>nd customs are reviled daily by newspaper wits. One of them is even represented as carrying and umbrella on a fair day, "because it's raining in London, dPncher ^now'" An equally logical reason is ascribed to the artist, Fuseli. One of his peculiarities was that of carrying a large gingham umbrella of a conspicuous color, generally red, whether the weather were flue or not. One day a friend met him bearing his usual burden, and called to him: "Halloa, Fuseli! What do you want that old umbrella for, this fine day?" "What do I want it for?" answered he; "Oh, I'm goincr to see Con- stftWc ^ • 'What has that got to do with it?" "Why, whenever I go to see him, he's always painting rain!". .» ; c "Starboard" »nd "Larboard." •"* " J "Starboard," which has always been "j T disputed by scholars as to its mean- ing, has at last been explained with $£ satisfactory authority. K. Keat says v that Dr. Kingsley informs him that h< / as "starboard" is, by common consent, • -l£ from "steerboard," the side on which the helmsman stood to grasp the f steering paddle, so "larboard" is from f, *1 "leerboard," the empty'Side, where the steersman didn't stand. In Hakluyt's V. " voyages there is this passage about •*^*'! Othere: "Whereupon he tooke his ' Voyage directly North along the coast, V* hauing vpon his steereboord alwayes the desert land, and vpon the leere* boor&sthe maine Ocean." •.>, - , - v WHAT looks like sauce for one • •/ makes a goose of another. 51 :t%Lf2 * 'i-Sri V! 1 -J ' 'mSM if $ ' 'M lie. i . Ste „t *.