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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 13 Jan 1892, p. 7

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/.'/'/ If*. .-#» 21/rn fo the right medicine, if you're a weak or ailing iroman. It's Dr. Pierce's Favorite ^inscription. If you're overworked or *' run-down," it builds yeu up; 'If you're afflicted with any of the distressing derangements and dis* orders peculiar to your sex, it relieves and cures. It improves digestion, invigorates the system, enriches the blood, dispels aches and pains, melancholy and nervous­ ness, produces refreshing sleep, and restores flesh and strength. In the cure of all functional disturbances, weaknesses, and irregularities, it's guaranteed to give satisfaction, or the money is refunded. It does all that's claimed for it, ,or it couldn't be sold in this way. It is a legitimate medicine--not a beverage. Contains no alcohol to inebriate; no syrup or sugar to sour "or ferment in the stomach and cause \di8tress. As peculiar in its marvelous, remedial results as in its composition. Common Soap Rots Clothes and Chaps Hands. IVORY OUAf DOES NOT. A Perfect Success. VII TbeTlev. A. Antoine, of Refugio, Tex., -writes: la far as I am able to judge, I think P aster Koenig's Nerve Tonle la a perfect snooess, for anyone who suffered from a most painful oervoHsneaa ag I did. I feel now Ilk* myself again after taking the Tonic. N«WTON,%11., Dee. 1. 1889, Since three years I haye been suffering from aztreme nervousness, dreadful pain in my head, sleeplessness, palpitation, horrible dreams, constant tremor at every Bright noise. I was under the doctors' treatment without relief, when our Pastor handed me one of jour books. After taking the first bottle of Koonig's Nerve Tonic, I felt it waa helping me and continued Improving wonderfully. • • • I expect to con­ tinue with the medicine. Miss IDA F. BUSH. FREE i--A Valuable Book en Nernm Diseases sent free to any address. bcui 11 cc cv may (Hiureo^ and poor patients can al*o obtaia a this medicine free of chargeu This remedy has been prepared by the Beverend e£tor Koeniff, of Fort Wayue, Ind., since 187& ana now prepared uudfhls direction by tile KOENIG MED. CO.. Chicago, III. gold by Druggists at SI per Bottle. OfortS fcahre Size, S1.75. 6 Bottles for SO. It Cares Colds, Sore Throat. Croup, IsfliieuxH, niMtopme CoukIi. liroiK-liitin and Asthma. A i-»*rtali» cure 1 .r Codmiiiii pt Ioii in fiot B'a*eH, and a Mir • relief in a<lv:im-«><l wfwjrc*. Use at Yon will see tli® exi-ell© it eHeut after taklne tlie first «l«»«e. Ho.d t>y uea-era eveiywiiere. takine tlie tlrst < Large bott ft • t-e m ants and $!.(*), SRip SS Ornham Flour qes(2 H'otn, in tho $£HANDliLlr"""' 100 percent, 'no t.F. Wilson '9 _ i Patent). _ _ _ . moro made In keeping i'ouitry. Alw l'OWEIl MILLS nnd KAItM FEED M1LI.K ('in-uHrs and testimonials eeut op application. WIL^rl'^ f"! CT «8 _. r » "T'"" -» » THE WORLD'S SOUVENIR.-A beautiful. bright, A'limiMuiii Por«-t Coin. Lirirer than a xilwr dol­ lar. Lighter t'lau 50 cents. New Patent Simple and Instructive. A wheel wi i> u a wheel Show-, wh-le year at sisrht iur ever. 8qow» D miiniiM Letter year­ ly. Teroperj"ce pie itce on t»»ck. Best advertising meium in the world. #20 made dally nt-lnnx thetn. Cut tu s out. Nam this p.iper. Two sam­ ples bv mail <or $1. A«e-ts wanted evervivh re. W. W. KITCHEN. Patentee. Kockford. IU. PATENTS! rViZG>EttALD! Washington, A WOMAN BEST UNDERSTANDS ft WOMAN'S ILLS. The experiments of Lydia E. Pinkham that years ago gave to the world the Vegetable Com­ pound, were made through a feeling of sympathy for the afflicted of her sex. She discovered that nearly all the diseases of woman have a common oriein. and may have a common cure, LYDIA EPINKHAM'S Compound la. a sure cure ftrr all those painful eompfalnta and Weaknesses of women. Sold by all Druggists as ft standard article, or sent by mail, in form of Pills o • Lozenges, on receipt of $1.00. M&Ira. boak." Oald« to Health ail tdr >--Ufclljm--trHM.--tf ««. •»»•>«. Vidia I. Pinkham Mod* Co., Lynn, Mm*. THE CROCODIUB. ' A Coeodile once dropped a Mm To aFox to invite hiui to dine; But the Fox wrote to Bay He was dining, that day, . With r Bird Mend, and |begged to f-he sent off at once to a Goat. "tfPray don'i disappoint me." shewrote; But he answered too late. He'd forgotten the (late. v Having thought leasly eaten her note. The ^rooodlle thought him ill-brel, Andin\i e«l t«» Wuhoits inaiead; But the llabblts ie)<lie<l. They were hopctes-ly tied By a previous engu emeu*, and flod> Then she wrote in despilr to some. Beta. And betResf1, Jiem to "dro • ii" to uieula; But the KeU 1. ft their cards With their coldest regards. ' And took to what went for their heels. *~ried the Crocodiln then, in disgust, *My motives ihev seem to miatrusi. Their suspicions are blii^e! Since they don't kuow their p ace.-- I •uppose if Tmust starve, 1 inustl* --St. Nicholas. THE VENTRILOQUIST. Down at the famous Strand tavern,' the Cole hole, in London, we were gathered tqgether one evening,laugh­ ing over the amusing s«nes of ven­ triloquism with -which that clever comedian Toole had just been edify­ ing us. A journalist present complimented him somewhat ironiesilly on what he called his "little society talents-" •'These same little talents," said Toole, in a grave tone, "have some­ times a great utility in 'life: do not despise them. An infinitely small talent may Save a world of trouble: nothing is unproductive here below. Let me give you a single illustration: '•Some years ago 1 was passihg one evening through Drury Lane on my way to the Gaiety Theater, at which I was at that time playing a role. "My attention wassuddeniy attract­ ed by' a pathetic voice imploring charity. I stopped and looked around me. The voice proceeded from a misshapen being, apparently a cripple crouched in the corner of an archway leading into one of these winding alleys so numerous in this popular quarter. His white hair and beard aud cracked voice indicated clearly that the beggar was an old man. , "4 A few pence for a poor man, sir/ said the tremulous voice; *1 am cold and hungry--oh, so hungry! I have eaten nothing since yesterday.' "The sight of a young uiqn, however miserable he might have been, would MM/uaic iiiuvtHi me. Old cockneys like me are too well posted on all these borrowing schemes which flourish in our town, but this decrepit oM age and horrible deformity filled me with compassion. "•'What misery!" I exclaimed, gaz­ ing at the old man. -Is it possible that you are condemned to begging at your age? Have you no sons nor daughters?' "•Alas! yes, gentleman,' replied the beggar in smothered tones, as if ashamed to acknowledge the truth, 'but they have abandoned me.' " 'It is infamous!1 I added. "I drew from my pocket a tialf crown. "As I handed it toward the beggar my customary suspicions seized me. Perhaps it was after all a made-up cripple. 't ;I prefer to assist you more ef­ fectively,' I remarked, after an in­ stant's pause. " 'You have a refuge somewhere? A home? Where do you live?' " 'Not over a quarter of d mile from here,' replied the cripple. '1 Will take you to my lodging, sir, if you like.' ~ "The earnestness with which he re­ sponded occurred to me after the ad­ venture was over. At the time 1 laid no stress upon it. ' " 'Very well go, ahead; I will fol­ low," I answered. "The beggar started off on his crutches, dragging after him two stumps of legs, and with a hundred protestations oi gratitude, maneuv­ ered rapidly along the muddy and slippery sidewalk of Drury Lane. "It wa's a dismal London winter evening. A thick, humid fog hung heavily over the macadamized pave­ ment. By the (lull, yellow light of the street lamps the "Some seconds passedvCtlTe dismal glimmer of the tallow candle lit up a room which struck me as tolerably spacious. The beggar had slipped behind me, and I now heard the sharp "click bf the key in the lock. ••I had expected to ilnd a sordid, miserable hole, fitted out with a broken stool, and a bundle of straw in the corner for a bedhiisteafl of which the r90m was furnished a certain . de­ gree of luxury, and the floor was cov­ ered with a rich carpet. " 'W hat does this mean?' I asked in a stupor,- 'You have deceived me!' turned toward the door. The old man had vanished; a man in the vigor of life, a white wig in h is hand, his face covered wich penciled wrin­ kles, looked up at me a^d laughed. " 'You look surprised,' he said in a mocking tone. -There are miracles still in our days, you see. My good legs have, come back to me, auil my crutches--look there!" "He pointed toward the cornier near the door. ^ " 'Well, what do yo wantof me?' I asked resolutely, enough. » " 'I want you to let me have your watch,' , impudently answered the man. 'Mine happens to .be at the jeweler's just now, and yours looks like, a tolerably good one. I'll war­ rant it to keep good time.' "After all, it was but one man: and a struggle man to man demands but an ordinary courage. "But my pso u d o g r a y be a rd dre w a revolver from his pocket. , * " 'Now,' said he, holding, the muz­ zle to my face, .'the watch and the phrse first.'"" "I drew back. Indignation and anger at letting myself into such an absurd trap almost suffocated me; but what could I do, against this man armed?" "AH at once an idea occurred to me. "'Imp of Satan! Fll catch you yet?' called a gruff voice from behind the beggar. "Instinctively he turned around. I seized the opportunity to rush upon him and snatch the revolver from his hand. # "'My turn now,' said I, holding the revolver und»»r his nose. Open that door this instant or I'll blow out your brains!' * *'The robber looked a? me With a stupid air. He was a resolute fellow withuut a doubt, but the revolverand the mysterious voice together were too much for him. Growling savagely like a bull dog he opened the deerr and slammed it violently after him "Feeling my way along 1 found the staircase, and with some difficulty gained the street I directed my steps at once toward the Strand. I ftirrived a half hour late at my thea­ ter, where reigned the greatest in­ quietude at my non-appcarauce.-- Albany Knickerbocker. on the aspect of phantoms. "From the doorsteps ami windows of the miserable houses in the alleys and courts through which we passed, gaunt, palid faces gazed out upon us. and cut-throat countenances with wolfish eyes glared out into the night. "Not but that'we must acknowl­ edge our police force . is admirably organized, for, considering the wide­ spread misery and degradation in London, it is only astonishing that crimes are not twenty times as num­ erous as they are. Hut, despite this energy of the police, how many"a black deed rests hidden, buried" for­ ever in the slums of our great tow,n! "At last we crossed Convent Gar­ den market and Long Acre and en- i tered that hideous quarter which vou | all know--Seven Dials. The adven- \ turccommenced to only half please I me. i V 'Are we far from ywur room still?" I asked, catching up wrtli the beggar. 'I haven't time to spare.' "As J spoke I drew out my watch-- an excellent chronometer of Dent's, of considerable value. «Looking sud­ denly up, I surprised an ugly, covetous glance beneath the beggar's bushy eyebrows. " 'Oh, ho!' I said to myself, 'that's a mighty young eye for an old man.' "My suspicions returned with triple force: but often our paltry pride over­ rules our better judgment. More­ over, with the Seven Dials quarter re­ turned the bustle and noise of Lonr don life. Laughs and shouts greeted us on all sides from the public houses at)d bar-rooms of t he neighborhood. "I determined to push the adven­ ture to the end, and more so as my companion now turned to me and said,, in his cracked and flattering tones: " 'Here is my home, gentleman!' He slipped through the half-opened door of a dilapidated building, and started up a rickety staircase with the agility I had before remarked. I had difficulty in following him in the nauseating obscurity. The smart rap of the crutches sounded on jjthe step and served as a guide. At the thjrd story the old beggar stopped. I heard him feeling about in the dark; then came the sound of a key turning in a lock. "'One moment, my good gentle­ man,' said the trembling voice; 'I will light a candle.' t . A Legend ot Lnoli UareHb The most interesting of the islands in Loch Maree is by ao means the biggest, but it differs entirely from the others in its varied vegetation. There is a romantic legend in con­ nection with this - island. In olden times a Norwegian Prince and Princess lived there happily. In time of trouble the Prince went forth to war, leaving his island t-i lie guarded by his wife. It was agreed that when he was in sight of home on his return a white flag should be hoisted if all was well; if not, a black one. Time passed, and the Princess became jeal­ ous of his long absence. When his boat at fftngth appeared in the loch a black flag was hoisted, rttid when he landed he found his wiTe lying as if dead, on a bier, she having feigned cfeath to prove his love. Heartbroken at the sight, the Princfe unsheathed his dagger and plunged it into his breast A thud, and he lay dead at her feet Horrified at the sight, she grasped the dagger from his breast and took her own life. The}- were buried in this romantic spot, foot to foot, with the hilt of a dagererengraved on their tombstone. Since then the land­ owners of the neighborhood have had passersby took j the right to bury on the island, and some of the graves are of'curious, un­ hewn stones This island burial is quite common in Scotland It is a delightful idea that the dead should rest in peace, surrounded by beautiful scenery, and far enough from human habitation to do no harm to the liv­ ing.--London Queen. Electric I'rooi SaTea. Some time ago, when safes were being blown to pieces frequently, an Indianapolis in ventordevised a scheme to as completely protect his safe as if he had surrounded it with a lake of molten iron, lb' put.in a large electric battery and when everybody had left the store but himself he turned the electric current loose upon the safe. He knew that the safe was thoroughly charged from a quick touch of it and with a feeling of pride that he had at last completely battled the burglar who should design to rob him he went home. Being caut ions, lie did not tell anv of his employes of the charge, intending to get down early and shut off the battery himself. At an unusually early hour by chance next morning his book-keeper came in, and' not finding any one down he prepared to fix for business. Going to the safe, he seized the com­ bination knob. Tlhen he turned somersaults before he let go of it. Then he stepped back and studied. Picking up a poker h<\ began to punch the knob, and lie was again wrenched. Then the office boy came down and volunteered to open the safe. A reinforcement of clerks then came, and armed with all sorts of weapons they began to assault the safe, but just at this moment the proprietor came in and shut off the battery.--New York Telegram- Practical Adrice. An'Irishman and an Italian were before a justice for being drunk, and the Irishman pleaded guilty. The Italian, not knowing the "ropes"' so well, appealed to the Irishman for advice. "It's thish way, Dante," said Mike. "Af yez soy ycz was dhru-nk, that will ind it to wanst; but af yez soy to the conthrary, they will argy and argy and make yez out a dhrunk anny way, so yez had betther conflss and be done with it." ^ Dante confessed. Tbetr Growth Quite m Mratery--Vinegar Kela a Foot Long. vit is not very long,,r sjaid a Scien­ tist the other day to a Washington Star reporter, "since it was an ac­ cepted belle? that living creatures low down in the scale of existence were brought into being under certain con­ ditions by what was called sontaneous generation--in other words, that the Topsy, they 'just growed,' without starting from any germs in particular. This was supposed to happen when flpur and water were mixed together for example and permitted to stand for awhile. Paste so made quickly develope swarms of little animals,the surface being covered with, small wrigglers resembling eels in shape. Not the slightest indication of life can be found in the mixture when freshly made, and yet but* a short time elapses before it is filled with active organisms, whose term of being is only brought to a close when the material on which they feed in entirely con­ sumed. It is not surprising that the observation of such a familiar phei^m- xmon should have given rise to the mistaken notion I refer; to. "These ljttle eels are'very curious things indeed. They arc amazingly prolific, not only laying etrgs, but bringing forth their young alive also. It has been discovered that there are four distinct varieties of them de­ veloped in paste. How did they get there to begin with is the question, which has been siltjsfactcirity an­ swered by the veivsimple explanation that their eyye, ^at afloat by evap­ oration, are always "blowing about in the air, like the germs of countless other species of aninalculcs. Some of them fall into the paste which af­ fords a suitable feeding ground for the creatures when hatched, and they very quickly form a colony there. "If you will put. a »mall quantity of good vinegar into a wine-glass and examine it with the nuked eye under a strong light yon will find tin-fluid tilled with slender thread-like liodles in rapid motion. These are the eels of vinegar, which, when viewed un­ der the nilcronc<i|*', are found to be longer and more active than the paste eels, though not so thick. They can be seen to great, advantage by inclos­ ing a drop of thq> liquid between two pieces of glass and casting an image of it, niagnitlcd'by a solar microscope upon a large screen, when hundreds of eels, each apparently more than a foot in length, will be seen crossing and recrossitig the surface and darting and twisting in every direction. Their motions are evidently quick­ ened by the glare of the sunlight that falls upon them through the lenses and which they try to shun;" A few Animal Oilditlmi. All animals which chew the cud have cloven or split hoofs. Animals of the bovine (cow) order have no teeth in the front of the up­ per j«»w. Some species are said to have no teeth at all in the upper jaw. The owl is unable to move the eye­ ball, which is immovably fixed in the socket by a strong, elastic, cartilagin­ ous case. There is no country in the world in which the raven is hot found to be a native: it is also the only bird known to ornithologists which is of such cos 111 opo 111 a 11 character. The frog, owing to its peculiar structure, cannot breathe with the month open: and, il it were forcibly kept open, the creature would die of suffocation. In the parrot's beak both mandibles are movable--a pecu­ liarity unknown in other species of birds. Fish swallow their food whole because they are obliged to keep con­ tinually opening and closing the mouth for l»ie purpose of respiration. Rabbits, snakes, birds, and fishes never close their eyes because unpro­ vided with-eyelids! The rabbit and the common barn-yard fowl are each provided with a thin membrane which is let down over the eye when asleep or at rest. The horse has no eyebrows, and if mufch white is visible in the eye itself it is a sure sign of a vicious nature. The British cuckoo and the Ameri­ can cow blackbird never build nets of their own, but content themselves with depositing their eggs in the nests of other and smaller representatives of the feathered tribe.--St. Louis licpublic. Twollih Night. The Twelfth Night custom will still prevails in Brittany which is worth mentioning for the little touch of the pathetic which mingles with its absurdity. It has no counterpart in the islands, unless it may possibly survive in some corners of Wales. When the Tk elfth-night cake is cut, a portion is set apart for each living member of the family, whether present or not The slices designed for the absent ones are carefully pre­ served, and inspected from time to time. Their condition is believed to indicate the health of those for whom thevhave been set apart. If the cake is sound aud keeps well, no fears are entertained for the safety of the absentone; but if it decays, the gravest apprehensions are aroused. Amongst a peasantry who arc very generally ignorant of reading and Writing, it may be judged what im­ portance attaches to this singular substitute for correspondence. Safety in tlie Midst of Dangnr, Thl* would aeem a contradiction-la BO, in act, to the^ eye. But experience proved its pocslbility. Take the caae of the in­ dividual, who dwells in a malarious^ region. A robust constitution it no certain defense against the dreaded chilis. What |g •/ corded teatimony, covering a period little ahoit of half a oentnry, proves ^hat Hostet- ter's Stomach Bitters is precisely thl*. This continent does not limit the field where the inelicfne has proved U« efficacy. In t-outh America, tlie intbmus of Pauama, Mexico, everywhere in fact where miaatna-born dis­ ease tnkos on its moat obstinate and tormid- ftble types, the Bitters is a recognized specific in illiiuitiblj demand, and prescribed by j hysicians of repute. P. tent, too. la it In dis­ orders of the stomach, liver and bowels, and a;-'tilust that destroyer, la grippe. It. improves appetite, and sleep, neutralizes rheumatism aiiti kidney oomplainva. Kecopnised. Canadians never tire of descanting on the genial ways of the late Sir .lohn Macdonald, his jocularity, his tact, his Tfitffrular manners, and his astonishing ntemory for faces and names. A Mani­ toba correspondent tells this anecdote of the Old Man, as Sir John was more or less affectionately Called by friends and opponents during the latter ten cr fifteen years of his lif«. In the winter of '89 Mr. Burkholder, an Cntario man who had migrated to Manitoba in 'si', went to Ottawa on busi­ ness. Few of his o d friends reco-jnized him, because he had grown stout, very stout, in fact, on the prairie. At the Ridoau (lub, "Burk." as he is popularly called, ha i spent several hours reintroducing himself *o intimate-friends' of .ol \ when Sir .John entered;- Burk­ holder had been the ( Id Man's host in a distant part of Ontario for two hours twelve years before, and had no other per onakacqueintanc * with the 1 reinier. Sir John's eye roved round the room, and stopped at the 'Ontario man, to whom he instantly went with out­ stretched hand'and: ^ "Why, Burk' Had you forgotten me? (ilad to hear of yo r.great luck in Mani­ toba. I needn't ask how you are. Plain enough you've gone West to grow with the country:" STATE op OHIO, Crrr or TOI,kdo, ( LUCAS COUNTY, (**• » FIunk J. CHENEY makes oath that he la the senior partner of the firm of F. J. Chenky & Co., doing business in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the sum of ONE Hl.TNl)KEX) HOLLARS for pacii and every case ot Cataukh that cannot be cured by the use of HALL'S CATARRH CUKE. FRANK J. CHKNEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my presence, this Oth day of December, A. D. IrtiW. , --. A. W. GLEASON, - SEAL, j- Noitlry Public. Hall's Catarrh Cure la taken internally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the syatcm. Send tor testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY.& CO., Toledo, a *J*Soid by dru; Kist8, 75c. Boston Outraged. A dime museum in this city hangs out a banner on its outer walls displaying a statue in various stages of composition, surmounted by the legend, "Galatier." And this is Ii< ston that sat upon her' three hills, and from her throne of culture ruled the world!--Transcript. Tha Only One Kver Prlnted -Can You Kind the Word? There Is a 3-tnrh display advertisement . In this paper this week which has 110 two words alike e»\eept one word. The same is true of each new one appearing each voek from Tho Dr. linrter Medicine t'O- This houso places a "Vrescont" 011 everything they make and publish. Look for it, send them tbe ns£iie of/the word, and tliey will return you^^htyirruEAUTiroL lituooraphs, or SAMPLES FREE. PLEASING in company is the only way of being please I in it yourself. Sense and knowledge aro the first and neces­ sary foundations f. r pleasing in com- i any;>but they wi 1 by no means do alone, ahothtfy wilt never bo perfectly welcome irHtijey. are not accompanied with manners and attentions. A Remedy for tlie Grippe Cough. .1 remedy roeornmerHled for patients af­ flicted with the grippe. Is Kemp's Balsam, which Is especially adapted to diseases ot the throat and lunss. I>o not wait for the iirsttsyniptoms of the disease before secur­ ing the remedy, but get a bottle and keep it on haud fur u<etlie moment it is needed. If neglected the grippe has a tendency to bring on pneumonia. All druggists sell the Kulsjiin. Authentic! * A mCcorlte, found a fewwe&ks ago in the rotten rcots of a willow tree at L>*abild, Denmark, was seen by the finder to fall into tho tree In August* 1843. . A COUGH, COLD OR SORE THROAT should not be neglected. BHOWN'S BRON­ CHIAL TROCHES are a simple remedy, and give prompt relief. 25 cts. a box. Minutk electric lights are successfully used in dentistry, making the presence of very small cavities visible when they would otherwise escape notice. A DEEP-SKATED CoroH cruelly tries tho Lungs and wastes the general strength. A prudent resort for the aftllctod Is to use Dr. 1>. Jayne's Expectorant, a remedy for all troubled with As.huia, Bronchitis, or any Pulmonary uitection. A:.TIIOI toi! diamonds will stand a very high temperature when held in vacuum, the admis ion of air causes them to burn almost as readily as coal. BLOOn VEfSELS ARE SOMETIMES BURST by whooping cough. Half's HONEY OF Horehouku AND Tar relieves it. PiKt'd TOOTHACHE DROPS Cure in one Minute. England has 1,000 female doctors, Well, it's'p easanter to die by a gentle hand. • BEEcnAM's I'ILLS cost only 25 cents a box. They are proverbially known throughout the world to bo «worth a guinea a box." To bk happy eat plenty of care away seed I- ITS.--Alt KitH stripped tree or l>r.mine's «rf«i None RoHtorer. No i'its after first dny'a une. Mar- vellouii cures. Treatise aud $t.00 trial bottle free to Kit emeu. Send to I)r. Kline. 9.11 Arch St.. l'iiila.. Pi. i5ttt»by'« toreiy Prewuk A fashionably dressed lady had just finished making a purchase in a Chest­ nut street .ewelry store on Saturday when another lady entered. "What are you doing here." inquired the latest comer. "Qh, I've been buying my hus­ band the sweet.*st little present," con­ fided the former lady. "iVmorro^r is my husband's birth 'ay, and I'm going to give him such a delightful surprise I have bought him a handsome new gold watch in (.lace of his old one for^ only 815 ." Just then the clerk approacheid. "Shall I charge that?" he inquired. "Of co irso." was the rep y; "to Mr. .*-- l hilade-'phia Kecord. -- ; The use of Ely's Cream Bnlm. a sure cure for «. atari-h and Cold *1n head, 1* attended with 110 1 aln, inconvenience or dread, which can be said ot no other remedy. 1 FEEL it my duty to say a few words in .regard to Ely's Cream4talnCand i do so entirely without solicitation. I have used it half a year, and have found It to be most admIt-able. 1 have suffered from catarrh ao! the worst kind ever since I was a little 1x>y and I never hoped for cure, thit Cream Balm seems to do even that. Many of my acquaintances have used it with excellent' results.-.Oscar Ostrum, 45 Warren Avenue Chicago. 111. Apply Balm Into each nostril. It is •QuicKly Absorbed. GIVES RELIEF ATOXCE. l'rlce 50 cents at Druggists or by malL ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren St., New York, Owk of the silver wedding presents re­ ceived by the Empress of Russia is an ermine mantle which cost $50,000. This is a gift of the nobility of the Province of Kherson. , Like Magic the relief given In many severe cases of dyspeptic trouH es by Hood's Sirsaparilla. Possessing tli be-t known stoaiach tonics as weU as ti e best alter alive remedies, this excellent medicine gives the Btomich the streng h required to retain and digest nourishing food, creates A Good Appetite and irent'y but effectively assists to natural motion the * hole machinery of the bojj. Most gratifying reports come from people who have taken Hood's Sarsaparilla for dyspepsia, indigestion, and similar troubles. HOOD'S PILLS--for the-U»er and bow­ els, act eaaily yet promptly and efficiently. Price &c. tag* GRIPPE. The present influenza riow ragino throughout- the world seems to in­ crease inwirulence the longer it rages. The first year it was only oasfial, and manifested itself like a slight cold. The next season it developed into more severe symptoms, and took the form of pneumonia. The present sea­ son it assumes all shapes, from pneu­ monia to typhoid fever. When.it attacks the heart it is almost always fatal. When it attacks the lungs and appears in the form of pneumonia it can be cured by taking REID'S GERMAN COUGH AXD KIDNEY CFRE. This great remedy not only relieves the lungs but stimulates the kidneys and aids the digestion. An ordinary cough remedy which contains opftim. para­ lyzes the digestion, and its use in pneumonia is generally attended with fatal results. REID'S GERMAN COUGH AND KIDNEY CURE has saved thou­ sands of lives, and its use in pneu­ moniae* recommended by every lead­ ing physician thnt has ever had an opportunity to prescribe it. GetJt of any dealer. SYLVAN Remedy CO., Peoria, 111. $V-3 <" J • - k:-:Wr: RELIEVES all Stomach Distress. REMOVES Nausea, Sense bf VuHaM% Congestion, Pain. .. RZViVitS Failino £11 eIRGY. RESTORES Normal Circulation, cat Warms to Toe Tin. M. HARTER MEDICINE • "rf|. Ha.- t OIVE/ mjOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to" the taste, and acts fently yet promptly on the Kidneys, iiver and Bowels, cleanses the sys­ tem effectually, dispels colds, head­ aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. 8vrup cf Figs ia the only remedy of its kind ever pro­ duced, pleasing to the taste and ac­ ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy ana agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs ia for sale in 50c and $1 bottles Dy all leading drug­ gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro­ cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. LOUISVILLE, KY. NEW YORK. H.V. E LECTR0TYPIN6 The attention of ADVERTTSTERS, fACTD KICKS and PRINTERS is called to our superior facilities (or turning out FIRST- CLASS ELECTKOTVPUiti or STEREO­ TYPING. We guarantee satisfactory and prompt service in these lines. UnilrDTIQrDQ desiring a large or small Hill LI* 1 luLIld number of Electrotypes of an advertisement should Eet our prices be­ fore placing their orders. We make a specialty ot DESIGNING and ENGRAVING Advkrtisb- MENTS for all classes of trade. MANUFACTURERS c?:rE= types ot Cut1; tor Catalogue Illustrations will find it to their interest to communicate with us. having long runs of press- work, which can be lessened by duplicating forms, and thereby save the wear of type, will make money by having their pages electrotyped or stereotyped. We can return forms in six hours after receipt at oar office, accompanied by plates of the same. "'5W "V- PRINTERS -OUR LINE OF- NEWSPAPER-HEADING TYPE ! Is the largest to be found in the West, and w« j make a specialty of furnishing Headings foi all . classes of publications. Specimen books, show­ ing the largest assortment of Newspsfper Head­ ings ever exhibited, will be sent to Printers and Publishers upon application. CHICAGO NEWSPAPER UNION it»t it •> souti jcrrttsoi it., mimeo iu. 'fiACt8 CURE S! This GREAT COUGH CURE, this success, ful CONSUMPTION CURE is sold by drug- gists on a positive guarantee, a test that no other Curt can stand succescfully. If you hare a COUGH, HOARSENESS or LA GRIPPE, it» will cu*e you promptly. If your child" has the CROUP or WHOOPING COUGH, use it quickly and relief is sure. If you fear CON­ SUMPTION, don't wait until your case is hope­ less, but take this Cure at once and.receive immediate help. Price 50c and $1.00. Ask your druggist for SHILOH'S CUKE. If your lungs are sore or back lame, use" Shiloh's Porous Plasters. J- THE SMALLEST PILL IN THE WORLD! • TTTTT'S 9 ®TINT LIVER PIXELS© Thave all the virtues of the* larger ones; equally eil'eotiw; purely vrgetuble. Ewwt size shown in this border. LIES w. NnTUmi wishes to buy a plfr In a hap, and no one places confidence ; In the advertisements \ of Scale makers which -.1 3 SOUND Improbable. " Some­ thing for nothing" cau never be had. ant) when you see Scale* adver­ tised so Indefinitely as to leave a BIO percentage for the Im­ agination; Investigate carefully. The Mlcaracua Cjd»!. The Panama Star and Herald says the indications are that the Panama Canal enterprise will fpll into the hands of the United States 'Govern­ ment, and "judging from past ex­ periences that would probably be about the best thing that could hap­ pen for the enterprise, failing the support of the French Government." The Panama people have never be­ lieved very much in the Nicaragua Canal for various reasons, among them a natural objection to a rival scheme. Hut thete are many people on the Isthmus who have believed that the Nicaragua enterprise is merely a bluff game intended to de­ preciate the value of the 'Panama ditch and force it into the hands of Americans. The Isthmus papers have published paragraphs detailing the non-success of the Nicaragua Canal, or alleged perfunctory work on it, to just keep it a live issue. IT is said that with old maids the passion< for cats sometimes kmounta to intemperance. "PROMPT AND PERMANENT!" THE PECULIAR EFFECTS OF rapif , ST. JACOBS OIL •sbP Are Its Prompt and Permanent Cures. nuBHUATICII Jan. 17, 1883, GEORGE C. OSGOOD <ft CO., KnCUmAl BOIvla Druggists, Lowell, Mass., wrote: "MR. LEWIS DENNIS, 136 Moody St., desires to say that ORRIN ROBINSON, a boy of Graniteville, Mass., camc to his house in 1881, walking on crutches; his lag was bent at the knee for two months. Mr. Dennis gave hira St. Jacobs Oil to rub it. In six days ha hud no use for hia crutches and went home cured without them." Lowell, Mass., July 9.'87: "The cripple boy ORRIN ROBINSON, cured by«St. Jacobs Oil in 1881, has remained cured. The young man has b««n and is now at work every day at manual labor." DR. GEORGE C. OSGOOD. 1 AMCB a aw Aberdeen, S. Dak., Sept. 26, 1888: "Suffered several LAIHEBAvRi years with chronic stitch in the back: was givra up by doctors. Two bottles of 8t. Jacobs Oil cured me." . HERMAN SCHWAYGEL. Some people are fair- minded, and to them we refer the Scale question. Actions SPEAK louder than words, and when yon find a jnaiiu- ln« article ma<Hr tf good material FOR a fair price Is tt not better that the facts In the case should be looked Into by fair- minded mon for THEMSELVES before buying ta* kind of a Scale? Pull Information regai-dint: patterns, patentiL cost* etc., In one book, sent free by JONES QF BINGHAMTOM. _ BingHamtoo, NI V. 8ib nn>T TxoiFioi,tts most noted physician of Raf- land, says that more thaa half of all disease* comefros* errors in diet Send for Free Sample of Garfield Tea to 319 West 45th Street, New TorkCttf. FIELD TEA efbmsl jallngicnrn Sick Il<*a<iuch«t restes-cu&'.amplexBOu jcurenConiitijiiittoaa JiMewspaperPresses Of the latest »nd best drt-i*!is -o] ' up >n and »t reasonable piio^a. For fu purtioulsrs r-ddre^s CHICAGO NEWSPAPER 87, 89, 91 Jt »a S. sn i sou St., f Washinsi'tn, D. C. 6^Successfully Prosecute# Claims. B Iiltor-rinclpttl Examiner U.fc>. Peoatoo BoNwfc m 3yra la last war, ISaiijiitiii'atLugCjiiiias, attyalnss* FAT FOLKS REDUCED Mrs. Alice Mapii*. Orecon, yiwrites: "Sly weight wu.s c'S' pounds, l:is 196t areaoction ot l'Jb lbs." For oiviiittrs u*iar<tr<s>, u itii 6&* Dr. O.VV ..F.SNYDlSH. McVicker'e Th«atr*. Ctuctuco.UL PI I £0 • II R .5Ui--p.-sJU.ry. KSaKl'l HAILSD KKKB. AddMS I lUhv J. 11. KJtE\jJS.BojtSSM^New Voi kCi(jrJi.y. I Morphine flabit Cured la 10 t<> 2 > (layti. No pay till cured. OR- J. STEPHENS. Lebanon,Ohio* PMTtNTSS'^i,; Adrie* v Bock free. (LOBE PlfEIT ltd WmUl. D.C. •m .t22'.So,000- B US OTATOES CHEAP PILES ANAKKS.IS gives instant relief, is an INFAIXI- HLE CttKK for PILES. Price. $1; at drossrists or free. by mail. Sample* free Address "ANAKESIS,' iJO< Wio. •%xiar«x«3xvai - i»«e ait ^ Vi disabled. fee for iucreusc. 'JT vcur\- ]>erienee. Write for Laws. A.W. McCokmick Sons, Washi-KOTom, D. C. A Cincinnati. O. Age-, stability, sound meth­ ods ; cask values, incontesta­ ble polkies; the best extension system; low cost. Address 921-3-5 Chestnut St, Philad'a. MUTUAL No. » -«» Whi:n writing to advertisers, miiv run auaU tfe# l^WrttlWIUm J»lr«sc tULJ run Ml In this paver. ^UOHIfA.SALZeR tA CR0S5E WI 5 should nsumption cough rerrwhere. S&e nought otfiivr

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