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I f PUBLISHED imr VIOIHDAT BT ,-J.YAN 8.LYKB,- , AND PEOTRMrrep ; Office ID Pekovskj's Block, One dor South of the Post Ollloe. TERMS OF SUBSOEIFTIO*. 77 8ae V«ar(la Aarance) rNos Paid within Three Months.... Subscriptlonb reoeivad tor ttrt* Months IN the IID« proportion. ..Utfio ... t.o« 9k C »X Ratoa at ; vv%W® announce liberal risss wr saysrUiiBf #ath« PtiAitTDGALBB, »nd endeavor to alate kern so plainly that they will be readily nn- «*8too l. They are *• follow*: t Inch one year - • •' |J® I Inches one year - -J. - • » " w ( Inches one year - ?#i *7 *' »(W Soo 00 00 V Column one"year - • - • , Jg Column one year- ' •• ~r Oolnmnone year - 'i ^4 «»•* One inch means the measurement of one "Itich down the column, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have tbe privilege of changing as often as (My • choose, without extra oharge. Regular advertisers (meaning those having standing cards) will be entitled to insertion of local notices at the rate of fi cents per line each week. All-others will be charged 10 -«ents per !ine the first week, and 5 cents per Hf" fm' A«.Ah flu hflfln WftAk. Transient advertisements will be charged at the rate of 16 cents pe line, (nonpareil C^po, Baiuti liiio b 5vi iss; iiic ami issss, sbu S cents per line for subsequent issues. Thus, an Inch advertisement will cost $1.00 for one week, $1.50 for two weeks, $8.00 for three weeks, and so on. The PLAINDKALBR will be liberal In giving editorial notices, but, as a business _ rale, jt will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of Its columns tor pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CARDS. » V. O. COLBY, D D.8. DBSTHT. Woodatoeit 111 8 postal at ten* tfton p*td to regulating children's Parties coming from * distance would do well to give tfm«ly notice by mail. Office, Kendall block, corner Main street and Public square. I a J. HOWARD, H. 1>. - PTirr«ICIAH AND SURGEON. Office at the erslnence of R. A, Howard, West McBenry, 111. O. fl. PBOERS, M, D- PHT8I01AN AND SURGEON, MeHenry Ills. Office at Residenoe. s :«y>•••-• DR. A."E. AURIWOllf^ PHY8I0IAN ASDSITRWEON Officet n Dr • inuds bulld:ng, W-st wcHenry, ill. , Residence, house formerly occupied by Dr. Osborne, All professional Mils promptly at­ tended to. •> •. SHBPABD. W. L. SHferAKD 8HEPARD * 8HEPARO, ATTOKNKYb AT LAW. Suits 612. North-ern office Building, M La8alle Street Ohioago, 111. *#• ly KNIGHT * BROWN, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. U. S. Express oo/a . Building, 87 and 89 Washington SC. CHICAGO, ILL. V. 9. LUMLEY. ATTORNEY AT LAW, and Solid** 1B 0hlU1Oe^[)oDsTO0K, ILL. I f OlBoc in Park House, trst floor, ' , / JOSLYN Jk OASEY, ^VXOBNHTS AT LAW, WMAMMFE IU. A. All business will receive prompt atten- lion. •. U. P. BARNES, ATTORNEY, Solicitor, andl JL Oollectlons a specialty. WOODSTOCK, lLLIWOia. I in* JOHN P. SMITH, ; hiuaker Ac Jowolftr r£ KticneNRY. ILLINOIS. AS"I«iS atock of Clscka, Watches and Jew­elry always on hand. Special attention given to repairing fine watohes. Give a* , JOBIf P. SMITH. %ANTED. SALESMEN. . L*cal and traveling to represent our well known house. • You need a»capital t - represent a firm that warrants ntir*<*rv stock fir^t.cliss and true to name. WORE ALL THE YE&R. $10 per month to the right man. Apply quicksuting age, L. L. MAY * OO. ^ iK 3 r ' H E N S L A Y and keeps them bealtby * »Try It. |Tos SALE BY Sfe< : JOHN EVAN SON 6 CO. ||V~ • • West McHenry, ID. §?• • CHAS. KUHNB8T. " . - Jah ibirgli.ni JW.CBI8rY4fcSON, R'nfwood, 111. FRANK BOWL^V*? J rVf Hebron. HI. Me Henry House, MeHENBY. ILL. 8SI«*. - x- Pro rletw. f A« -tbe banks of Pox •In the Villige of McHenry, special at i will be trlven to the entertainment t>f Pisnermen and Pleasure Seekers •n Supplied with 0«m- A. M. CHURCH, Watohiuaker and Jeweler NO.Oi tH odre<lTwenty.rive State RtCht-eag .11 . special attention given to re­ pairing (ne watches and Ohronomc ters. *" 11 Assortment of Goods <• hlsltn WANTED AGENTS, local and trar-e'lnR *1 once, to sell Orna-nrntal fchrnba. R<1wes, Trees and fruits Experience unncceoarr, Salarvand «*penses pii2ii weekly, f'ernia- nent ptsitiong No security required, Vust farnirh references s to (TO-M! eh«r<eter. CHAS H CHASK, Rochester. N. T. (Mentuin this paper.) -- >m'ji .iji j V ATTENTION I Farmer* and Dairymaa. CALL AT THE BE?'! U3TU 8T0BI ABOVIO GOBIXB, m -• It will pay those looking for CHOICE COWS lit springers, pMnaiee" before pnrchaaisg. auoh by the oar load or single cow K) Mil Si I can at mj femisb PORTER H. WOLF RUM. OHniiuira Para about tour miles northwest of Harvard. Illinois. Horsemen, Look Here. I have » fine utoefe of H r*es, flmonjr •which are •' \>ung Green Mom tain Morsran," "Mor. rill Charles." and otnprs. Oal I and see theae Horwea before mafe'ng arrangftments else­ where. N. S COLBY. McHenry, III., May 10. MM. WAMT^n Wide awake workers every- " where for "Sdepp's Photo­ graphs of the World," the greatest book on HtfpUfJIin enrth; *ost<nir tWO.OOO; rcinil for t^nirr ®*Bh or installments; mam Mua* * M moih i l l us rated rirculars and Agents wild wi t auccesa. Mr, Tlsomn »~Jj, ^PEOTOGBiPHS^ai Woosser, O., fM In 40 minutes; Eev, J. How­ ard Adi^on, Lvon» N. ¥., tlOl <n 7 hours; a THE wnni .ii on credit f ra ight paid. Address " " MUJI dhC'nE KfflLt PDBt.lSHIKO O , 723 OheStBUt 8t, Phila,, Pa, nr 3j8 Oearborn 9t„ Chicago, 16 m. J. J. BnrMaa Barbian. : BARSIAN Wholeiale and Retail DULIBI TB FINE CIGARS, MeHENRY ILLINOIS Being now pleasantly located In our n -w store, former y occupied by Althoff Bros , we are now prepared to offer to the smoking pub lie a fine line f Clears of our own manufac­ ture, together with Smoking and showing Tobacco ot the best brands. Pipes a Specialty. We have a very large assortment and sees- very handsome patterne. GALL AND SKX US. UIBIM >m McHenry. III.'. June 20.1P92 •:<m:>0eab the depot, vrEerr MoHBJiaY, ILIi Keepe open for the acooeaaodntlon of tns Puhllo a rlrst-OlaM Saloon and Restaurant, tp uttMi brands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars Cto be found in the market. , ^ Also Agent Wot rBANZ FALK-M KUwaoktf Usit l#er. Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al- jnty-j on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended ta GooB-aTABLiNGFiroa Hoaam, «f°qail andisee as. Robert iohiiiilo. West ItcHearr.*". .•, A. Snglen's ULOOK AND RESTAURANT. McHENRY , ILLINOIS. baainess, at which you can surely make and save large sums of money. The result? of only a few hours" work will often equal a week's wages. Whether you are old or vouug, man or woman, it makes no difference, -- do as we tell you, nn<i suc­ cess will meet you »t the very start. Neither experience or capital necessary, 'l'liose who work for us are rewarded. Why not write to-day for full particular*, free ? E. C. ALLEN & CO., Box No. 420, Augusta, Me. fine Kentucky Liquors, French Bitten, McHenry Lager Bear, ' --AHD- J. Scllii* Miivautee In any quantity front s Snitz Glass to 1C0 barrels. IT WHOLESALE OB RETAIL Beer in bottles, kegs or case as eheap as the cheapest. We buy none but the best and •ell at Seasonable Prices. & . all and see me and I will afe ?ou well. ANTONY ENGLEN And see those fine Dltmonds. some of them an inch across, or less, and many of them Drill We*t # *WIUl' 'S. f • * » V - " ' Al^o we still have on hand a few more of those fine. (Sold and Silver Watches t can bay Which you own price. at |our SMITH! Jeweler. T McHENRY H. Miller & V* " ' • WFt. ^ C a l e b s I K - % MARBLE l» GRANITE, a>Ioanmeate>g llea.<lit««ef Xa.l>iet«t Etc. Cemetery Work of every de­ scription neatly executed at the Lowest Prices. Satisfaction Qsarantaad. Shops at>McHenry and Johns< burgh, III, where at all times can ce tound a good assortment of finished work. Respectfully, Henry Miller & Hon. • iitt* I lit' Land in California Free, fgg"Tbat can grow, if irrigated, Orunges , Urapes . or any fiuit in California that will grow by ir­ rigation. This land has no mar­ ket value witnout irrigation We will Plant the Trees Free. Take care and cultivate them for 5 years for bat! the profit, pay the taxes, labor and other charges, will pav you back the first year after irrigation one-third ot yonr investment if you will help get irri­ gation. Price f 25 for % years, payable #5 per month till $25 is paid. FREE DEED to the land, no charges to you for taxes or labor or trees. Address California Land and Wat r cl^chaoge. 288 Main St., Dayton, O. bust- WE TELL YOS Bathing new when we state that it p»j\« to eat tea permanent, mosi In ;ilthy and jileussint l nets, that returns a profit for every dny's work. Such is the business we offer the workinc class. We teach them how to make money rapidly, and Sarantee every one who follows our instructions thfutly the milking of S300.00 a month. JBvery one who takes hold now and works will Barely atid speedily increase their earnings; there CM be no question ubout it; others now at work •re doing it, and you, reader, can tfo the same. This is the best jiaving business that you have erer had the chance to secure. You will make a grave mistake if you fail to give it a trial at ouce. If you grnsp the situation, and act quickly, you wilt directly find yourself in a most prosperous PENSIONS! The Disability BltCie m Law. Soldiers BLmbled Since the War are Entitled* Dependent widows and par**ta n»W 4* pfetiamt wboa« sone died from the sffsett of armv FerrirM are IF eluded If von wlab your claim a^eedily and auceeesfully proM- eated,addref* JAMKSTANlii^ WA8HIKSTOB <0L 80LSISBS' BSFABTMMT. Edited byWM . H. COWLIN, --WOOWITOCK, :LL.-- m "To ears for Mm wk» Sat ton** (he battt*. tmd tor hi* IffcMw and Orphan*" -LtHOOU. " Friendship, Charity. Lou. »Uy- Worth* mm* Patriot feather* " On Ari'Dgt a Heighta. The latest bit from the pea of Walter Kittridge, author of "Tenting on the Old Lamp Qround," is the following poem entitled "Arlington Heights:" •*; The old e.atnp srouad le silent now, s-- All hnklied the martial tread; Tne night winJa cannot sooth tho brow. They slumber with the df a1; '•Tenting To-night" they will not aln^i Ab , boyo; the campa are still; 1 Yne bailie's and the cannon'a vlnf ^ Is silent on the bill. The alumberirg dead He sleeping. , Their camp flret have gone out; Those lonely treea are weeplnir. Those b>ys have left tbe ronte, Thoi« lit tie headatonea there » Tell aucb a mournful tale. Kven tbe women Mr Join in the mournful wail, Sleep on,-my comrades, glory,- ' "5^; shall mark your lonely reel} To tell the sad, aad story Ths bird ths.l\ Isave it« ne«j)j»'^^| The little singers warulo % ;v '-'I AlKtve the tonely grave To teil of war anu u.uu!:, s*; Of bjya so true and brave. V .V You will not march again; >;• > God bless your rest to night • Your suffering and pain Have clothed your soul In wh!|e, Tbe battle call is ended. " The bugle notea are atill. ' \*r , Tv»' country is Tia e*fent on the hilt Alofit the Bktrmlih Woodstock has a Woman's Relief Corps, No. 222. The Woodstock Board of examining Surgeons for pension*, meet the 1st and 3d Wednesday's of each month. • At the beginning of the famous Atlanta campaign the total force was 98,797 men and 254 cannons. A southern democratic pfcper eaV8"the North has since the war paid f1,500,- 000,000 to sharks and scourings from the slums" of "the truly loyal veterans of the Union army," who did "patriotic service with the baggage wagon thirty years ago . " Go it , gentlemen ; keep it up, you are in the saddle. The spectacle a bankrupt treasury cleaned out by tbe Republican party in the effort to satisfy the famine appetite of the Grand Army of Begf?ere has nauseated the people.--Memphis Com­ mercial. It must be very pleasant for the old soldiers to have the northern Democrats claim that the veterans voted for Cleve­ land and the southern Democrats de­ mand that the president-elect shall slap the beggers in the face. The Memphis Commercial is not opposed to bank­ rupting the treasury so much as it is op­ posed to ex-Union soldiers reoeviing any of the money. There are $400,000,000 of rebel war claims before Congress and the Commercial wants them considered. Comrade Rife gives an interesting it cident that occurred in Virginia in 1863. The army was drawn up in line of battle, and the skrimishers were maneuvering from both sides. One of the Confederate boys was seen by Com­ rade Rife to take a position behind a stump and he at once aimed his rifle to shoot, when the fellow in gray t!irew up his gun and fired, the ball striking squarely in tbe muzzle of Comrade Rife's gun, and sent it flying some ten feet from him, and split the barrel some two inches. It was a close call, and for a few minutes tomrade Rife did not know what hapfiened or what had become of fienaral Doubleday. General Abner Doubleday died at his home in Mendham, N. 8., on Thursday afternoon, of heart failure. He had a paralytic stroke about six months ago and was never able to walk afterward. He will be buried in tbe Arlington Ceme­ tery, near Washington. He leaves a wife but no children. Gen. Donbleday was graduated from W&t Point in 1842, in the same clas* with Longstreet, Pope, Hardy and Rosecrans. He served through the Mexican war in tbe Third Artillery, taking part in the battles of Monterey and Buena Vista. As captain in the same battery he served against the Seminole Indians from 1856 to 1868. He was second in command under Major Anderson at Ft. Sumter, and he sighted the flpst gun sighted in its defense on April 12,1861. Tbe following month be was appointed major of the Seventeenth Infantry, and after serving in the Shen­ andoah Valley and in the defense of Washington took part thefollowing year as brigadier general of volunteers in the campaign which included the second battle of Bull Run. At Antietam his di­ vision held the extreme right and lost heavily, but it captured six standards. In 1863 be took part as major general of volunteers in the battles of Freder­ icksburg, Chancellorsville, and Gettys­ burg. On Gen. Reynold's death at Gettysburg, he took his place during the interval in which the first corps captured Archer's brigade and practically destroy­ ed Iverson's. In the second day's fight he took six guns which the Confederates had captured, and his division on ths Bis Hand Froae to a Limb and Saved Him. James Matthews and Dr. John Wil­ liams are tho hfiroea nf a remarkable ad­ venture from which they barely escaped with their lives. They set out to cross Wolf river in an old bateau at a point where the stream is half a mile wide, and when about sixty yards from the bank, where the water was very deep, with a swift current, their boat sank and both were left struggling in the icy torrent. Matthews managed to reach a tree and pulled himself up to a seat on a stout limb. Dr. Williams was swept past this refuge, an«I could do no better than clutch the pendent branch of an- Otiici' trw. KU WAS TOO KUUCU WIIUINBWU to reach the trunk, and was afraid to let go, so there he staid half submerged in fi feezing water, while his companion shivered on a limb near at hand, but un­ able to render Mm any assistance. There they remained for several hours, when at length their cries were heard and a rescue undertaken. It was neces­ sary first, however, to build a boat, and this took six hours more, and it was not until they had passed nearly ten hours in their per.'.ons situation that they were finally taken off. Dr. Williams' hand had froeen to the limb he grasped, and it was necessary to bring the limb away with him. But for freezing to it he would have been swept away and drowned.--Memphis Cor. St. Louis Re­ public. i Painting th« VPorld'a Fair Bulldtaga* Director of Decorations "Millet is fol­ lowing after Leonardo's footsteps. While engaged in devising schemes of loveli- nma ff\r tlio ailnwinif n# fk/ j in Jackson park ̂Mr. Millet has become an inventor. "We made an estimate," said Mr. Millet, "of the time it would take to color those buildings with a brush. We found it would be impossi­ ble to do it that way. There are acres of ceilings to be painted, so we turned the machine on them." The machine which Mr. Millet's mod­ esty prevents him from avowing as his t>wn device is a gaspipe a foot long, flat at one end, so as to leave an opening an inch across end wide, enough to insert a sheet of cardboard. This pipe is attached to a long piece of rubber hose. The other end of the hose is dipped in a barrel of paint. Ail electric motor does the rest. The painting of the World's fair build- now proceeds apace.--Chicago Hef- A Cold Weather Seliema On one of the busy down town streets there is. a dealer in secondhand books whose stalls, outside of his door, are surrounded by a half dozen or more men at nearly all hours of the day looking for readable matter. When the cold weather began this shrewd dealer saw that his tirade at the outside stalls was rapidly falling off. The next day in passing his place it was noticed that the stalls were not outside as usual, but in the window was a great placard reading: "Come in­ side, boys. It is too cold to stand out there and examine books. We have them all nicely warmed for you to handle." The scheme is working like a charm, and all the other secondhand book dealers on that thoroughfare won­ der why they did not hit upon £he |dea first.--New York Times. 1 " Death of a Johnstown Hero. Romeo, the big dog which made al­ most a national reputation in connec­ tion with the flood at Johnstown, is dead at the age of 18 years. The animal was noticed extensively by the newspapers for his work as a rescuer in the disaster, particularly for saving the life of Mrs. Kress, the wife of his master. She was washed off a roof on which members of the family were afloat, and would cer­ tainly have drownel had not the dog swam to her aid, and, seizing her skirt in his teeth, regained the raft after a desperate straggle. Although he has been blind mid deaf for some time, he has been cared for as tenderly as if he were hnman.--Cor. Pittsburg Dispatch. I>!ed in Accordance with Wish. On the Friday before his death Gen­ eral Butler sent for a business friend, and in the course of the conversa­ tion the sudden death of a mutual friend, the late Vice President Du Barry, of the Pennsylvania road, was mentioned. Mr. Du Barry had finished his day's work and then died. General Butler said to his friend: And that is the way I wish to die when my time comes. I am in no haste to leave this world. I shall be well content to stay here some years longer, but when my time shall come that is the way I wish to go. I want to do my day's work and die.--Hartford Courant. Aa English Juror Fined. me severity of British justice well illustrated at Northampton the other day, where a trial for murder was in progress. The jury having been per­ mitted to partake of a lunch in their room, one of their number took this op­ portunity to step out and post a letter. The judge, hearing of this, promptly gave the offending juror a strong lecture and fined him $250. He dismissed the jury, and a new one was. impaneled.-- London Letter. An Incident in the HonM, 1W house met in continuation of yes­ terday's session. When the speaker's gavel fell to call the body to order a number of members who were ignorant of the fact that the house had merely been in recess reverently rose to listen to the chaplain's prayer, and then sat down amid the laughter of their bet­ ter informed colleagues.--Washington Letter. • • - The mansion near the Schuylkill falls, once occupied by Governor Thomas Mifflin, of Pennsylvania, and a land­ mark of colonial days, has just been sold and is about to be demolished. Gov­ ernor Mifflin was born in Philadelphia Ja l?#. . ONLY TEN CENTO A B$ ~ A quire of fine paper and a third day bid much to do with the re-' envelopM for only 10 eenta a box at X « - * W , A f _1_ a * a v*. . . . _ . _ He Broke the Record. "Talk about getting there," said an C-v" i^vttvuut ) coIAJX x didn't break the record Christmas Sun­ day, I don't want the medal. It was this way: Just half an hour before the services opened my organist sent word that she was ill and couldn't appear. There we were, a lot of Christmas music prepared, with an organ voluntary for morning and evening on the programme. Then I came to the front, and with half an hour's practice went on and played the music myself, besides preaching the sermon and leading the singing. You should have seen me. "First I would read, then play an ac­ companiment, then dodge up again and pray, hopping up and down like a bird on a twig, and I got through all right too. How did I manage the voluntary? Well, you see music is my profession--I do not call preaching a profession, it is a calling--and 1 just improvised, mixing in dance music, drawing the frisky notes out long to make Sunday music out of them. Oh, I was all right. When my voice fails me I will only just have to fall back on my profession. Good day. Got to fly, you know--mighty busy," and the sturdy little preacher dived for the elevator and enlivened its downward trip on the same by sinking a few im­ provised bars of opera to the office boy. --Minneapolis Tribune. The Newspaper. Tfce newspaper is essentially a com- putting upon the market of something to sell, it is of the same nature as an ordi­ nary merchant's. The rule in every well regulated shop is that the clerks shall not discuss religion, politics or any disputed topic with the customers. Where the editorial department of a newspaper en­ ters into the enterprise the commodity offered for sale is opinions, and a con- afifiiovtAw ia lk* the market which is willing to pay for seeing the opinions in print. But the fact is that no paper limits its solicita­ tion of trade to any special constituency. It solicits advertisements from i ll classes, it prints news for all classes, and in va- rions other ways appeals to all Classes. Editorials which please only one class and displease many others are a draw­ back to the paper, without being an ad­ vantage to the reader.--Boston Review. Froaen Almost Solid on a Car Platform. When the Chicago and Alton "bum­ mer" drew up at Joliet Thursday after­ noon the passengers waiting to take the train saw a man drop off the bumpers on the front end of the baggage car. Help was given him, when it was found that he was dying. His ears, face and feet were frozen stiff. He was taken to the hospital, where the doctors and nurses tried unsuccessfully to restore him. The doctors say he was frozen almost solid. His name was John Bussey and he was thirty-nine years old. He got on the train at Pontiac to go to Dwight, getting on the front end of the baggage car, but the "hummer" does not stop until Joliet, fifty-five miles away, is reached. There is no door in the front end of the bag­ gage car, and he had to stay outside. He met a terrible fate, the worst blizzard of the season catching him in full force.'-- Cor. Chicago News-Record. A Georgia Stateaman'a Recreation. There is musical genius in the Georgia congressional delegation. Colonel Liv­ ingston plays the flute. The colonel has an old flute that has seen service for many years, but is still mellow in tone and its notes are always true. The colo­ nel's flute playing is, however, a secret. He never plays in public, but in the se­ clusion of his rpom, with the door locked and the windows closed, the colonel often performs in tones that are cap­ tivating to the one who is so fortunate to hear him. The colonel can play "Ta- ra-ra Boom-de-ay" and "Chippie, Get Your Hair Cut" in the most approved style, besides all the old southern melo­ dies.--Atlanta Constitution.' Reccnt Mortality Among Duhes. The mortality among dukes, compar­ ing their limited numbers to the im­ mense concourse of untitled folk, has been exceptional during the last two years. The Duke of Marlborough makes the ninth wno has died in that period. It must be remembered that, excluding royal titles, there are only twenty-seven dukes in the United Kingdom altogether. Therefore in two years or a little more one-third of the holders of dukedoms have died, while two of the titles- Buckingham and Cleveland--have be­ come extinct.--London Tit-Bits. A 9300,000 Skating "Pond. One of this city's richest men, John D. Rockefeller, the standard oil king, is so fond of the outdoor sport of skating that he has a private skating rink on his property near his residence. The pond is on a vacant lot, 50 by 90 feet, next door to the millionaire's Fifth avenue residence, near Fifty-fourth street. The lots on which the pond is located are valued at $300,000. Mr. Rockefeller re­ cently bought 100 pairs of skates for the use of his family and friends on the rink. He is a good skater himself.--New York Press. Uncle Sam's Japanese Indlai a, A tree was felled by a storm here re­ cently. and beneath the roots that were turned up were found Japanese cooking utensils and a hammer and club, both corresponding to such as are used by the Japanese. The rings on the tree wen- counted after the tree was cut in two. and 300 rings proved the tree to be as many years old, clearly showing that the Japanese were here or pointing to the Siwash Indians as of Japanese origin.-- Vancouver Cor. St. Paul Pioneer Press. The Wild Career of a Bogus Chicago Han, : Some small boys fastened a wire to one of those wooden hamas which are - "1 u s e d f o r a d v e r t i s i n g p u r p o s e s , a n d t o t h e ^ other end of the wire attached a lot of,. • " fish hooks, then dropped the fish hooks into the Madison street cable slot at * Madison street, near Halsted. The hooks , quickly took hold of ths running cable, ; ^ and away sped the ham toward the est- '" ' j ting sun. . C At Green street it struck and tossed ick> the mud handsomely dressed Jim De Meyer, the wine connoisseur. At Loomis street it struck an Italian's hand cart laden with fresh roasted peanuts V ,'fi ^ .,3 and popcorn and scattered the load "over 7. f X the road. The ham journeyed right on, - I leaving the son of Italy and the street * ^ newsboys to fight over the peanuts and. r popcorn. A bicycle rider was upset at Lincoln street and slightlv injured by colliding with the flying imitation pork, ; As the frayed edged ham danced along near Western avenue it caught the eye of a nearsighted saloon keeper, "What a nice addition." muttered he, "to my free lunch counter." He grabbed^ ! a board, threw himself into position likel y a grand stand ball player as he comes to^W bat, and as the ham approached hin> heffs swiped it about amidship, broke the wire*, > * . and acquired the ham. The loafers who, *7 clad in their best clothes, stood lazily A ̂ rmoking cigars on the sidew:ilk, gently "> led the ham grabbing saloon keeper into . ̂ <?'• his saloon near by.--Chicago Tribune A Ttteozy as is "Do you know where the comet has gone?" asked one of our citizens. "Well,"- he continued, "IH tell you that, in my opinion, it hasn't gone anywhere. I : think it is here--all about us. We are j£'F daily breathing comet, sneezing comet:' 7"I" f; xUg, tumcu Tf v ow |» «H«U probably don't smell it, but when the- astonomers lost it I think it was because ^ we ran into it or it over us before we ^ knew it. This cold and unaettlsd throughout the world must lae due to if. J •' the presence in our path <4f a vapor that absorbs or intercepts the heat of the sua. * -4* (s You know some of the savants skies said the comet was only avS{»or j f"-. spread throughout a mighty area of ' 7|- (space, luminous by absorption or refleo- I | * J tion at a great distance from us, but m- r ̂ ' jk visible if about us, and contained not \ V*. enough solid matter to make a handfuL ^.V-'4 ^ I believe we are taking a prolonged W/ 7v comet bath--and I don't like if--At- < . , 7^ lauta Constitution. , / » • . James Samnela* Strange ttaayw. 4 a- • 3-̂ James Samuels, of Dubuque, a s in the T w e n ty-first Iowa, was one of tiM'^ v;; seventy-five Americans who went to Cuba twenty years ago on the steamer „ * Virginius and were shot by the Spaa* '-'Vr. "If iards at Santiago. His name appeared , ' I ̂ in the list of the dead, and his family . 7^ kl (#3 mourned him as such. They have just -Jp received a letter from him written at tfeq ' '«! Soldiers' home, Covington, Ind. He states u " „ T1 that he was shot through the head and V* left for dead. Chance friends nursed M him back to health, but the shot de4 - stroyed his memory, and the past was a ' 'U blank. By some means unknown to him , ^ $ lie recently reached Chicago, where he was recognized by an army comrade, ̂ who brought him to Covington, where ,7 ' | | his memory was restored.--Cor. Chicago ^ % lBte<w •: X .-1 W. J. Weeks, a spry young m&n of" sev- " f J *, ^ enty-two summers, of Yaphank, Long i»-7 land, challenges any person in the world, ;> 7 <£ & "regardless of age," to a match at skate writing. He has had a challenge for v long distance speed skating, open to "aayii' ^ lad of seventy," for $1,000 a side, stand- ,v"j ing for two years, with no takers. He V " it. proposes that the match shall consist of " « writing words and sentences comprising not less than a hundred letters, to b&7 "^^7 j'S given out by the judges at the time of ~v u the contest, and to be judged by three experts in penmanship. English writers, 7 7 Mr. Weeks says, assert that the feat of ;; writing letters on tho ico by*skali<ig is - > impossible, but he is ready to demon- strate their error. , *** --:----- y. Overwhelmed by aa ATabuwlMk- .f/ The recent snowslide on the Pacific ex- t Vp - The horse and cattle industries of southeastern Oregon are reported to be in a depressed condition, and many ranchers are dropping both and turning to aheep raising. v The pension payments in Jamftry amounted to $14,000,000, a decrease aa compared with month a' |1 000,000. 7# tension of the Great Northern occurred between Java and Essex, switching points about half way down the west side of the mountains. Trees, rocks and t ; snow swept down the mountain like an 'j%f,7v; Alpine avalanche, striking a snow plow 1 train and hurling it from the track. The " , j engine and tender were carried fifty feet f ̂ 5 ̂ down the embankment and the rest of the train buried out of sight. A. L. Marden, a brakeman; Young, a line re­ pairer, and two others, names unknown, ; were killed. Several more were injured. Debris was piled on the track to a height of fifty feet in some places.--Cor. Helena Independent. > • 1 "4 . Vx t Punlabment to 4 ;. Frenchmen must regard their cele- ; brated liquors as something almost sa- cred. Two men, named Duchesnin and ' Dumont, were convicted the other day of having fired the factory of the Bene­ dictine liquor at Fecamp, which was destroyed a year ago, and the sentence on each of them was penal servitude for i life. I doubt if it would have run to that for an abbey without a liquor fac- tory attached. They want a "legal pil­ lory" in France.--London Truth. Cold Neglect of an Artiste. '7!77 The Times' notice of Baroness Biauv ' and her play on the morning following the exhibition was a clever bit of cold s and heartless satire. The play, the place , end some of the players were mentioned, but not a word was said about the bar- 1 oness. Her name was not mentioned. . It was as if one should be transfixed by the icy javelin of silent contempt.--New York Letter. 7 7 w- • The latest clock is described by the ad­ vertisements in the jewelers* wisdom: "We have got yon at last. This clock keeps on ringing its alarm until yo*f«t oat of bed and remove Im­ plies of people haTepiks, bat De Witt's Witch Hatnl Salve will caw* them. Je>'« Kits * ' 3 * 5