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fvy 'f \ v v « r * ' - t t > , V*!"?* - ,'i V -fi'1',J ir **" > If?,1 f;-v; * . >7 ••' 7 <7?' 'P^'- '"9^57 y1 • • ' i " n . " " : p.'::R3B|ifTi^it,im AfrrigfateWuwll iP^gL^1 - **»v ^^NTA36eC3, ;|<CHPisrMAi DINNER , ' ^jBfeSk*1' CA<aa' 1^JI9raM' (HERE have been many re-' rmarkable dinnera, but the dinner given on Christmas night, 1893, by Mr. and Mrs. ;- Cornelias Van Tassel to their friends, Mr. and Mrs. John Girard and Mr. and Mrs. Vincent Cowles, at Hieir Gramercy park home, will prob­ ably pass into history as the most re­ markable dinner of all. The table was a cheering sight as the guests entered from the drawing room, its polished mahogany top gleaming here and there between the snowy, weblike doilies, its glistening china and cut glass, its bright silver and its floral decora­ tions, forming under the soft glare of the electric lights a picture that seemed eloquent in its augury of good things to come. Candelabra with dainty yellow shades and vases filled with golden hued chrys­ anthemums stood at opposite corners of the table, and one of the. fluffy yellow flowers lay at each place. The maid had announced dinner just as the grandfather's clock in the hall sounded the hour of 7, but when the guests and their hosts were seated she failed to appear. Mrs. Van Tassel was annoyed and surprised, for Betty was al­ ways alert and had never failed her when a dinner was to be served in state. After waiting several minutes Mrs. Van Tas­ sel touched her foot to the button be­ neath the table and rang the electro bell, but no Betty appeared with the belated Blue Points. The conversation was flagging, as it will when host and guests are conscious that the household machinery is not mov­ ing smoothly, and Mrs. Van Tassel's annoyance and indignation rapidly in­ creased as she rang again and again in vain. Finally, concluding that Betty must have fainted, Mrs. Van Tassel excused herself, with very manifest mortification, and started for the butler's pantry to solve the mystery of the maid's nonap­ pearance. As she opened the door she screamed and ran back toward the table. A masked man, with a revolver in each hand, stood in the doorway. He swept the company with the leveled weapons and then pointed one of them at Mrs. Van Tassel. "Don't exercise your lungs again like that, madam,; please," he said politely, "or 1 shall be under the painful neces­ sity of perforating them with a lead' i pill, don't you see. The other ladi"-; ai l gentlemen present will also remain ^uiet, or these pistols may go off by accident, don't you know. There's goiug to be a Wg movement in silver here pretty soon, as we say down in Wall street, but don't be at all alarmed. "No one will harm you if you are not Tingentlemanly or unladylike enough to insist upon making a scene, don't you know--a thing which, of course, you will not even think of doing. But pardon me for not having introduced myself be­ fore. It is a trifle late for Santa Claus, but here I am--Mr. T. Brown Jones, at your service--silver service, don't you know. Ha! Ha! Pardon the pun; but, as you are aware, the iniquitous habit of play upon words has gained a strong foothold, don't you know, even among the exclusive circles in which we all move." To say that the Van Tassels and their guests were astounded by the advent of the masked Mr. T. Brown Jones is a very conservative statement. His sud­ den entrance, his daring coolness and matchless impudence, his polite manners and his excellent English, fairly stunned them. Not long before a desperate fellow had held up and robbed a money broker in hiey office on Broadway near Trinity ohitrch at midday, but his audacity paled into comparative insignificance beside that of Mr. T. Brown Jones, who had coolly held up an entire family, their guests and servants, in the heart of a fashionable New York residence quarter at 7 o'clock in the evening. The ladies were deathly pale and on the verge of fainting. The gentlemen had half started to their feet, but sank back into their chairs with dazed faces M the revolvers covered them. The bur­ glar's chin and mouth beneath the edge of the mask had a resolute, but refined 4r-\ ", .A MARKUP MAN STOOD IN THE DOORWAY. look. His voice was rich, musical and evidently that of a cultivated, intelli­ gent, educated man, and to Van Tassel at least it had a slightly familiar ring. The burglar's hands, too, were small and white, and there was about him an un­ mistakable if incongruous air of refine­ ment. Van Tassel was the firBt to recover the lise of his intellect and tongue. "Who are you and what is the mean­ ing of this outrage?" he demanded. "T thought, don't you see, that I had already announced my name as T. Brown Jones. Pardon me for not hav­ ing made it clear," replied the barglai•, bowing deferentially. "Get out of here instantly I" Van •el cried, with a very perceptible quave* in his voice. "How dare y^u, afat HI call the police at once unless you loam* "Oh, no, you will not, Mr. Van Tas­ sel. Pardon me, but at present, don't VOT1 T drntip» ptl »i'l lw doiio iii this vicinity," Mr- Jones. "It is true that I have commit­ ted the almost unpardonable sin of be­ ing late at a Christmas dinner, don't yon know, but I am sure you will forgive me. I also took the liberty, which you are well bred enough to overlook, of bring­ ing several friends with me. We will not delay the dinner any longer." As he concluded Jones whistled twice, the drawing room and hall doors opened, and two more burglars, masked and armed exactly like their leader, stepped into the dining room. "Allow me to present Messrs. Brown and Jones Smith, brothers and excellent company. They will lend the brilliance of their presence to this ifotable gather­ ing, don't you know, and will do ample justice to your turkey and your wines," said Jones. "You must have heard of these young men, who belong to the famous Bowery family of Joneses, and whose ancestors have not only been noted for years, don't you know, as skillful collectors of silver, gold and diamonds, but have also been much sought after by prominent city officials. "At least two of their near relator have been the principal actors in ev€ that have been described at great leng in the newspapers, events which, unhap­ pily, don't you know, resulted in the un­ timely death of both gentlemen. So you see that your guests are not ordi­ nary people by any means, don't you understand, even if your welcome has a lack of warmth about it hardly appro­ priate for such aWtyr of rejoicing and loving kindness as today." "Well--well, bah Jove!" gasped Mr. Girard. "Leave us instantly!" cried Mr. Van Tassel. He attempted to rise from his chair as he spoke, but Jones Smith, who stood behind him, pressed the cold muzzle of a revolver to the back of his head, and he sat down again precipi­ tately. "Please do not move, Cornelius," plead­ ed Mrs. Van Tassel, beginning to shed tears, "or these horrid--these gentlemen will kill you!" "Yes, Cornelius; please remain in your chair, for whenever you move like that I am in mortal terror, don't you see, lest a revolver somewhere should go off and hurt you, don't you know," said T. Brown Jones. "For fear, how­ ever, that he may be indiscreet, secure him to this chair," the burglar added, ad­ dressing his companions. • 3-bali--bah Jove! Deuced shamer cried Mr. Girard. The two scions of famous Bowery fam­ ilies not only obeyed their leader's in­ structions, but they also bound Mrs. Van Tassel, Mr. and Mrs. Girard and Mr. and Mrs. Cowles firmly to the chairs in which they sat. The gentlemen mur­ mured loudly against this indignity to their wives, but the cold steel of three revolvers was an argument that they were powerless against. It was in vain that Mr. Girard pro­ tested, with numerous "Bah Joves," and finally in despair he vigorously jammed his monocle into his right eye, knowing that he would soon be unable to adjust it. The arms and legs of the men were Becurely fastened, but the ladies were simply bound to their seats by the arms. The burglars accomplished their task in as gentle and polite a manner as possible, and not one of the captives was really suffering physically. "There's another member of the noted Smith family in the house," continued Mr. T. Brown Jones, "but I regret to say that at present he is busily engaged in sitting on your negro chef, who will insist upon rolling about and endeavor­ ing to release himself from bondage, and in keeping an eye, don't you see, on your maid. As soon, however, as he gets the chef securely corralled between the legs of your big refrigerator, don't you know, he may favor us with his company." "Well, what do you want?" demanded Mr. Van Tassel. "Why don't you take what we have and get out and allow my guests to enjoy their dinner?" "I will attend to everything in good time, Cornelius, but the heavy move­ ment in silver, don't you know, cannot take place yet very well, for the reason that the silver is all in use. That beau­ tiful solid silver soup tureen must be emptied, for instance, don't you see, and if hunger is gnawing at your vitals sup­ pose we begin operations. "I see covers are only laid for six, but that need not embarrass you. My Bow­ ery friends will assist you in moving closer together, so that there will be iroom for us at your hospitable table Ah, that is just the thing. There's room and to spare. Now the surplus dining "room chairs. Well done, my friends." As he gave utterance to these approv­ ing words, Mr. T. Brown Jones took his seat at the head of the table beside Mr. Van Tassel, deposited bis revolvers on one of the lace doilies, spread a napkin across his lap and drew Mr. Van Tas­ sel's yellow chrysanthemum through his buttonhole. "My favorite flower--since it has been a society fad," he said simply. "Now, Mrs. Van Tassel, do me the kindness to ring for your maid. Three more covers, you know, for us, and dinner served for nine instead of six," the burglar added, carelessly lifting one of hie revolvers so that it was leveled in the direction of the tearful hostess. "Well, bah Jove!" ejaculated Mr. Gi­ rard, as the full force of audacious Mr. Jones' intentions dawned upon him. His face suddenly expanded into such a look of astonishment that his faithful monocle, which had remained where he had put it all through the binding ordeal as though glued to the spot, fell from his eye as if it, too, had been overcome by amazement. "Allow me," said T. Brown Jones, as he politely caught up the monocle and thrust it back into it&SjattxMr. Girard was so surprised at he for­ got to contract his and afoot down the Sjgth îteĵ dch ̂ Bat Mr. Jones was not at all dis* cooraged, for he promptly attempted the feat Wice more. This time Mr. Girard lifted his right eyebrow at least half an inch, as he saw the monocle coming, closed down upon it as Mr. Jones cried "Now!" and success crowned the Joint undertaking. Meantime the other two burglars had followed the example of their chief, and each was seated beside one of the male guests, with chrysanthemums brushing the black masks that covered their faces. They lacked the ease of Mr. T. Brown Jones, and by several awkward moves confirmed the correctness of their lead­ er's statements concerning their Bowery ancestry. They also watched Jones nar­ rowly through the eyeholes in theil somber masks and promptly imitated him in everything he did at the table. 1 Meantime, too, Mrs. Van Tassel had pressed her trembling foot to the elec­ tric bell and summoned Betty. She had been wondering in a dazed sort of way what had become of the maid and was hoping that she had either rung the mes­ senger call for the police or had escaped from the house and personally sought aid. ' | This hope was dispelled by the prompt appearance of Betty at the door. She was pale and trembling, and very evi-;• dently half frightened out of her wits. She.istr*'to her mistress' side and **" " . \ t'ace,the picture of mingled : ,. and helplessness. She was i too well disciplined to speak even under sucn remarkable circumstances. She simply stareH "Your maid seems to* have become petrified mentally and physically, Mrs. Van Tassel," said Jones in a low voice, as if the words were for her ear alone. "Perhaps it would be well to explain to her, don't you see, that dinner is to be served as usual." As he spoke Mr. Jones again carelessly laid his hand upon one of the revolvers beside him. Mrs. Van Tassel's face would have been an excellent study for a picture of Despair. "Dinner--dinner as usual, Betty," she faltered in a whisper. When the Blue Points were served, the Bowery swells glanced doubtfully from the tempting array of shells to the be- \ • -a £ ; "PARDON US," HE SAID HUMBLY. wiWering array of sterling knaves, forks and spoons that lay beside them, as if seeking for the proper weapon of attack. Then they sat still and looked inquiring­ ly at Mr. T. Brown Jones. That worthy noted the glance, as he seemed to note every other movement or noise about the dining room. "The custom, don't you know, of eat­ ing oysters on the half shell with these little forks," he said thoughtfully, hold­ ing one of them up and then spearing a bivalve with it, "is an excellent one." The Boweryites at once looked as re­ lieved as two masked faces could, and were soon vigorously plying the oyster forks. "Table etiquette should be taught at Yale. Now, when I was in Jale"--Mr. Jones \ as continuing reflectively, when he was interrupted by a loud guffaw from his Bowery confreres. There were even slight smiles upon the faces of the inwardly raging Mr. Van Tassel, the outwardly fuming Mr. Cowles and the monocle eyed Mr. Girard. "when I was in Yale, don't yon know," Jones repeated, looking up in apparent surprise. "I was struck by the reflection that proper table manners are not born, but made, don't you see, for the child that is born, as we all were, with a silver spoon, so to speak, don't you see, in its mouth will, when at ta­ ble. remove the spoon and try to play 'Annie Rooney' and similar tunes pop­ ular with the canaille on the doilies Years of training alone, don't you know, give one polish in table etiquette. Even you, Cornelius, probably used your silver spoon for a drumstick when you were a child, I dare say." "I'd like to use"-- began Mr. Van Tas­ sel, with a roar of pent up rage. "Cornelius, for heaven's sake, for my sake, do be quiet!" pleaded his distracted wife. "Cornelius, if you don't stop roaring so, I'll not only gag you, but I'll also have our mutual friend, McAllister, ex­ pel you from the One Hundred and Fifty," murmured Mr. Jones, toying with his revolver. "Sorry you don't like oysters," he continued, cooly appropri­ ating the plate of the helpless Van Tas­ sel. Evidently Mr. Girard and Mr. Cowles were not fond of Blue Points also, for the Boweryites followed Jones' example and transferred their oyster dredging operations from their own empty plates to the full plates of Van Tassel's male guests. "Blue Points are so small, don't you know, that really I shall be compelled to accept your offer," Mr. Jones said apologetically a few moments later as he took Mrs. Girard's oysters. In the same deferential manner his Bowery friends made way with the bivalves huddled to­ gether upon the plates of the other help­ less ladies, and thetf, following the ex­ ample of Mr. J^MtfUMrefully wiped the oyster forks qĵ ^^Hpipkins and pot them in tlieir mured "that they fairly oagfy «• away. ' ** ' ' "I'll serve the consomme," he added; to Betty, who had just come in with the tureen, "for Mrs. Van Tassel seems to be fully occupied." The appetizing odor of the soup caused; nine mouths to water; but, as in the case tHf» n y f t o f t V t r v m f t * e vain, 1 "Where are you going, my pretty turkf "I'm going to dinner," she said with a smirk. "May I go with you, my turkey maid?" "Nobody axed you. sir," she said, \ murmured Mr. Jones as the big brown bird, hot and steaming and redolent of savory dressing, was deposited in front of him by the maid. "Betty," he con-; tinned, beginning to carve the fowl with apparent skill, "don't forget the wines. Wine is a mocker, don't you know, but strong drink doesn't seem to have been; raging very much around here yet, don't! you see, but--but it will be shortly, when the Bowery is heard from." Then Mr. Jones served the Christmas turkey in his most - polite manner.' "White or dark?" he ifcpuld ask one of the company. "Ah, yes, to be sure. Youi always preferred ihe datk meat. How deuoed stupid of me not to remember! Cornelius," he said as he deftly removed and divided one of the turkey's legs, "here's a drumstick for you in remem­ brance of your infancy, don't you see but, Corny, for heaven's sake, for my sake, don't potmd out 'Annie Rooney® on the doilies with it!" "B-bah Jove! Deuoed shame!" cried Mr. Girard. Not until every person at the table had been helped did Mr. Jones turn his attention to his own plate. When he and the Bowery boys did get fairly to work, however, turkey, cranberry sauce, turkey dressing, wines and the numer­ ous other delicacies that composed the Van Tassels' Christmas dinner vanished from view like a Kansas town in the track of a cyclone. When t he three strange guests had de­ voured the turkey on their own plates, they turned toiu the most polite manner and assisted the Van Tassels, theGirards and the Cowles. The dinner passed, off very well, considering the circum­ stances, as Mr. Jones afterward re­ marked. "Those Gramercy park people, don't you know, were rather stupid. They didn't talk much. They ate even less. The Bowery people, too, were no bet­ ter as conversationists, but there was nothing the matter, don't you know, about their appetites. I never before saw such a demonstration of the shovel­ ing capacities of the ordinary table knife. But I amused them all, don't you understand. I was not only after dinner but middinner and before dinner speaker, and told a few good stories that I see Depew has since got hold of." By the time the different courses had been served and the coffee came on in the Dresden china after dinner cups, the pocket j. of Mr. Jones and his companions were fairly bulging with spoons, knives and forkB, and it was evident that the heavy movement in silver was soon to commence. The only interruption to the dinner occurred when, just as Mr. Jones was drinking Mr. Van Tassel's coffee, a voice with an unmistakable Bowery accent shouted from the butler's pantry: "Ef youse fellers don't send me out a ham sandwish er somethin pretty dern quick, I'll give de hull gang dead away. See?" Mr. Jones paid no attention to the re­ mark, however, but drank the remain­ ing cups of coffee within reach, excused himself and rose from the table. "Par­ don us," he said humbly as he and his assistants relieved the gentlemen of their watches and pocketbooks and the ladies of their diamonds and other jewelry, "but at Christmas time it is always bet­ ter to give than to receive, don't yon know." With profuse apologies, too, Mr. Jones securely gagged the Van Tassels, their guests and the maid, and saw that they were all firmly bound. Then Mr. Jones' companions engineered the heavy move­ ment in silverware to a carriage at the door, leaving Jones to bid the hospitable Van Tassels bon soir. Raising the turkey's wishbone so that all could see, he pulleJ it apart with his Own hands, wished them "many happy returns of the day" and vanished. • • • • • • Thus it was that Jack Schuyler (alias T. Brown Jones), swell clubman and man about town, won the half forgotten wager he had made a y^ar previous with Cornelius Van Tassel--that a Gramercy park family, its guests and its servants could be held up and robbed at dinner and the burglars make good their escape. Van Tassel paid the wager, but there is a coldness akin to Christmas weather between him and "Mr. T. Brown Jones." ,, • -J4v" :=J . ,rf j $ < V \u . s.' J ~ OR COLD WEATHER i,: %•?' " -1 Dqyou need a heating or cook stove? If so, now is the time „ buy. We have a large stock of the celebrated ' \ ACORN & GARLAND STOVES, A.8 well as other makes. Our stoves give universal satisfaction and ' - are Worthy ot inspection. .. if ? f*Your sou mnr- A Christina* Tree In Paris. Opposite the church of St. Eustache is the great market of the llalles, which furnished the worst of the horrible mol: of fishwomen who, 100 years ago, swarmed Versailles to tear the queen to pieces. On Christmas eve their lineal and commercial successors, the present "dames des Halles," raised among them­ selves a handsome subscription and fur­ nished a great tree for the half starved poor of that quarter. The lower branches were loaded with toys and good things for the children, the upper with legs of mutton, bottles of wine, warm clothes and all sorts of comforts from their well stocked stalls; illuminated by candles and encircling bonfires. Around this tree was held a great reveillon--the best attended in all Paris, needless to say-- which lasted from midnight until 4 o'clock Christmas day. The generous women who had prepared the tree did not go home at all, but opened their stalls, rubbed their eyes and made ready for business.--Pittsburg Dispatch. Th« White Yule tide. - The ground is white and the sky is Snow has fallen and snow will Snow has fallen before today, « But this is the snow of all-? For the yule is white! Fields of December or woods of May, White of blossom or white of sn«-». White is the wear for a holiday, AnA the old earth seems to knoi^S^I} > For the yule is white! The Largest Stock of Stoves in the County. £. % •*' . . . :k .1 W« have on hand Anti-Eusting Tinware, Table Cutlery* and •varything tound in a hardware store. ^ lirrt clan new work and Uepaire in Tin, Uop|Mr *nd 0; Tour trade it respectfully solicited. « / ? , ^ ' JACOB BONSLETT, McHenry. *S: '•> "ii: ' -y ^ Th6 Steve tt ft ctttdfonr new Foldtii; HachliM*' now be seen at work in the Plaindealer Office. Our patrons, and those needing such a machine are ini call and see ir at work* It is simple, easily handled, and takes such little power that you cannot notice it. The machine was put in by the Bascom Folder Co,, of Sidney, O., who have been build­ ing and selling them for the past eight years, and every machine it fully warranted for fiveyears. If you need such a machine pleaee write the abeve company tor prices, discounts and terms, at they sell the machine on the most favorable terms. Or write their Agents Chicago Newspaper Union, Chicago; J, 4k F. Garret, Syracuse, |f, Y.; Mather Manfg. Co., Philadelphia, Pa.; Marder Luse A Ce.. Chicago; Benton, ^aldo A Co,, Milwaukee; Wright, Barret & Stillwell, St. Paul; Geoctfcin& Son, Toronto, Canada, :;:f§ -•'•J THE STAFJ4 OP OFE. Cirri BEST .Mm The »>abl*e laugh, because "theTre^orrl has tieen broken, and the Sold in M»Henry since the 1st day of January, 1£93, to the lat day of Oct. 18S3, ; » Fourteen Car Loads of Plllsbunr's Best Flourw f AND IT STILL STAND8 AT THE TOP, For Sale by all the Leading Merchants, and at the Roller Mills We have a good high grade of Flour at $1 per sacb, and for the price we challenge comparison. Also a lull Patent Flour at f 1.05, and we do not exaRerate when we guarantee it equal to other grades that cost more money. Try it and be convinced. To the Farmers of McHenry and vicinity would miv that we are again prepared to do yj^ur Feed and W eat Grinding promptly. On wheat we will and quantity as any custom mill in the State of Illinois, and would respect folly a»* wfcea need of anything in tHs line to give us a trial on the iiiiove ffUHrantee Bran and Middling lor Sale. • ^ ; j « . . « . ' • " t h e k o i l t i W i l i s a n d w e w i l l d o t h e r e a % , ~~|||: i ; McHENRY ROLLER MILLS Iii!#.- - _ "" (' - -'SI'3