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THE PLAINDEALER * J. VAHSLYKE, Editor »nd Pub. MCHENRY. - - - ILLINOIS. -------------- THEY ARE DEAD* £ha*e wit * man wbo never told a lie-- r-.-V Cut lii's dead; r ' . . Mew said it wai wetwbenthe w«ather w*« dry-- * Never eaid Si'l caught lib vbeo ha bad'nt caught one, N*ver nald he'd done something that he bad'nt dene Merer scolded hie wife and never got mad. would'nt believe that the wor d was so bad, A wspector of men. a defender of woman. _ Who believed the divine, and in that which WM limwan; • . ' Meek a6 Mobcs-he never was understood. And the poor man died of being too good.' And he'B dead. 1!)nn was a woman who never had go«»iped a bit-- She'B aead, too; Wbo bft' ed all Hcandal, nor Tstened to it; She belie, ed in mmkind, took care of her cat, •> Always turned a deaf ear to this BtoTy or th\t; Never scolded her husb«ml--sh« ne\er had one; No sluggard was phe, but rose with the snn; Never -whisperod in meeting, did'nt caie for a bounet, . • Of *11 of the tea* here that one < ould pat on it; Never sat with the choir, nor sang the wrong note : Fipreesed no desire to le *tnre or vote; . tot the poor soul wa. deaf as a post--al ° dumb; . . . Yon might Lave called lorevar, and she woulQ nt have come. J; And she's dead. •••Outlook. • ly and sat on the edge of the bed. He f felt, a singular aversion to dressing himself. He looked at bis shoes and tried to look at h s knees. | "Confound such a corporation," he , grumbled. But as he completed flis i toilet and passed through the broad j ecrridors and down the grand stair- : way to the breakfast room the sense j of h s new identity enthralled him. : He quite lorgot his clerical exist* j ence. He quite ignored tils ephemeral ' future. He was Mainwaring-rthe modern Crusus, the multi-millionaire, and port and waddle proclaimed bis awful presence. He found elegance and profusion awaiting his pleasure. Yet some­ how that appetite which used to rise superior to boarding-house deficiencies Mr. Butts snatched the miss Ires and read their contents in amaze­ ment "Uncle Jim Kutts and Aunt Maria!**'"" '̂Cousin Susie." ••We're on deck, old roan. Yours to com­ mand, Markham and Blakesley!" "Bring on the scads." •'Your old friend Johnson." '•Government bonds are good enough for--Gra­ ham." What could such enigmas mean? Was he dreaming? "Where are these people?" Mr. Butts asked in quavering tones. "In the director's room, sir." * "Well, tell them 1 will see them presently." With massive dignity Mr. Butts en­ tered the reception room. Its occu­ pants sprang forward eagerly, and then hastily retreated. Mr. Butts 8LUM9OF LARGE CITIES. allurement in their song. ••Take 'em away, take 'em away," motioned Mr. Butts, "and bring me some - oatmeal and a glass of milk and lime water." "As usual, sir. (I thought so, sir. 1 have them ready sir," leplied the grave butler. •'Never mind what.you thought* I don't hire you to think, replied the master. Here the door opened and a so.dierly appearing man whose garb ,, -- . had an official touch entered aind POVERTY OF RICHES. J~OUR SERTLCE, HE 8ALD. The night watchman reports that now deserted him. And the steam- ^looked from one to the other with ing urns and chafing dishes had no ] cold displeasure; The bank clerk's whist coterie was holding its weekly meeting at the lili v-* rooms of its president* Thaddcus ;:r Butts. This title, by the way, was >Kv •1 more respectable than accurate; for whist was never played nor enacted. ' / But the hour was late, and the game, jjSV* .whatever its nature, had been aban- doned. Easy chairs were easily oc- cupied.and through clouds of tobacco smoke disjo.nted remarks were grad- $:4 ually consolidating into a conversa- i «l tion. tef "Why, there's old Main waring," Butts wa? saying. "He's worth $50,- }s', 000,000 if he's got a cent, yet he doesn't have half the fun I do. Now, k: if I were in his place I would show jjS/L' you that money can be an oasis in the desert of life, bringing comfort : i to all within its view." §?' ' "Humph!" interrupted Markham. jfc*"What could you do? It would take all your time to count your loose ^ CbftDgG.11 & . "Yes, if I clung to it, but I |L' wouldn't. I'm not blessed with H" many relations, but such as I have, J : . . would so fix that the name of Butts "NOW, THEBE'S OLD MAIXWABING," I';*-1.' •• X ' - -wrbuld be a synonym for property. As for you fellows, 1 would send for you one at a time, and we would have a bird and a bot, and a Jim Hickey cigar, by Jove, and then just at parting 1 would say, 'Slip this en­ velope into your pocnet,old boy, until you go home; no, thanks, you know you would do as much lor me.' And then vou would dust along lively,and wouldn't your eyes stick out when j you saw a check for 250 thou, eh?" j ".-ay, Butts," cried Johnson, "if jou can let me have my share now, j 1'jl stand a liberal discount for cash." I "I don't believe in fairies," added I , Butts meditatively. "Hut I just do j wish that one would give me the chance to take old Mainwaring's piace for a single day. I'd set an «xample for millionaires that might bring about the millennium. Wouldn't the old curmudgeon be surprised to have the poor rise up and call him blessed." Mr. Butts was all aglow with sat- iifaction as he crept into bed. "Peace on earth and good will to men," he muttered, as he closed his eyes. It was an hour later that Mr. Butts awoke with a start Some­ thing had touched him on the shoul­ der. The ioom was radi nt with a silvery light, and that light came aot fr m the fireplace, but emanated from a fantastic little creature «eated on one of the lower bedposts .and gently waving a wand to and fro. "Yon see, Butts," she said as he j Ifftsped and blinked in amazement j 4uid dread, "there are such things as j fairness after all. Now, since you -doubted and boasted, I shall show j you our power and your Ira lty. In-j •cidentally, too, there may be lessons, j tout you can discover these for your- •Belf. You shall have your wisb: to­ morrow you will be Mainwaring. Your relatives, friends and acquaint­ ances shall ha e due notice of the change; but, never fear, they'll not give you away. They'll look to you to do the giving, ha, ha! And so to aleep." When next Mr. Butts awoke he Has conscious of two unusual sensa­ tions. his bed was luxurious, his body was uncomfortable. The depression of the mattress was deep, but so, too, 4ftlas! was the depression of his mind. bis limbs felt stiff, his frame heavy, ; ;,r \ And his mind muddled. "_ g* *' "It must be that confounded tninch," he groaned, "I put too much .. I . «ugai in it" * H . The sunlight suddenly flashed on . gfc* the wall. Mr. Butts turned his htTad y acd looked, aud the more he looked gp the moire his head seemed turned. £ A most respectable appearing man . •/„, • iwas drawing the damask curtains || • ' from the lofty windowsof the stately . , apartment Where was his third jr* story, back? Mr. Butts groaned again. At the soun 1 the man bowed rev- W . erently and said: ' pr, "Good morning, Mr. Mainwaring, I £ trust you rested well, sir?" fe- Then Mr. Butts remembered, and ' -with regret. That confounded fairy! : <fkg What business had she to interfere PI® , with the ordinary working of nature? if feelings were <any criterion then | Mr. Mainwaring was apt to die before SJi! the day was over, and then where ' Wt would he be? \ Xi "Your bath is ready, sir," said the man. ' That will <'o; you may^ go," re­ plied Mr. Butts, rather astonished at liis own gruffness. Mr. Butts raised himself awkward* they were at the. butlery windows again last night And the mine by the conservatory must have explodied, for I've just found a leg under the century plant, sir; but then you must have slept sound after your escape of yesterday. How will you be going down town, sir--the landau and the grays?" "Not at all," said Mr. Butts. "It looks like rain, and I can't risk them. I'll walk." "Very good, sir; I've my revolver handy, you see. There's a mob of, hoodlums on the lower corner. I've turued a half dozen cranks away from the door already, sir. And I'm sure I've seen thiee ruined brokers lurking in the areas across the way. Begging your pardon, sir, but if walk­ ing is to be a pe.manency, I'll be ask­ ing for a raise." "Nonsense! You'll be lucky if you escape the«6ut in expenses I'm about to institute. Can't we go through the stable and catch a horse car?" Mr. Butts Settled himself in a cor­ ner of the car and bought a paper. On examining the change he discov­ ered a dubious-looking coin, which acumen assu.ed him was a hammered war token. He swore a little under his double- chin, for the spry newsboy had es­ caped, and then with some latent purpose retained the piece, as he thought, in his pudgy palm. Of course, the financial page was the page to which he turned, and in its predictions for the first time this morning Mr. Butts found comfort Yes, it did seem probable that cer­ tain of his stocks--ah, what pride there was in the personal pronoun!-- were in for a rise, Well, if any one needed such luck, he did. •It's about time," he thought, with a sigh of relief. But why do the tiny eyes protrude, the thin lips twitch? What gossip is this? ••On dit that Ebenezer Stubbs, through his recent cornering of Olive Oil Trust, has landed a cool $10,000,- 000. Brother Mainwaring should better look to his laurels, or he'll lose not only the 'fa ile' but the •princeps,' also." Mr. Butts folded his paper. His square jaws closed grimly. His chin settled on his chest. He was th nk- ing--thinking the thoughts of rest­ less nights, of troublous days, how much money might be made more. The car reached his cross street and Mr. Butts descended with the alert detective by his side. On the curb stood a blind man, with hat extended. Weil, what is it?" he asked. "I aoi a busy man. What do you mean by disturbing me with ybur unintel­ ligible notes:'" Uncle Jim lqoked foolish and Cousin Susie simpered and sucked her thumb, bui Aunt Maria flaunted to the front ; "Begging your parding," she said, "but we were led to believe you were our long lost relation. It's ail the fault of this old dreaming husband of mine." "Same here, sir," said Markh&m promptly. "It is all a mistake. We were out with the boys last night, you know--" '•O, Ttyad!" cried Johnson desper­ ately. "Don't you know us? Isn't it true?" But even as he spoke he dodged behind Graham. "Git out!" commanded Mr. Butts impressively. "Git out and con­ sider yourself lucky that 1 don't give you in charge." That night Mr. Butts sat alone in the magnificent Mainwaring library. His thoughts were still busy with the work of the day, and although they could not point out any mistakes he was dissatisfied and dejected. He had been frugal and untiring, yet the goal of his ambition was still far distant and the much money of realitv seemed Contemptible in com­ parison -.with the more money of im­ agination. Life was a failure, ex­ istence a burden, and he was the most wretched of men. Mr. Butts thrust his hand in his trousers' pocket and d:ew out a hand­ ful of coin, which he me banically assorted. Suddenly his jaw dropped, and from hiseyes glared despair. He had come upon the war token! Horrors! What a mistake! Then he had given a sum of money, of his hard-earne i, beloved money, to that miserable, blind beggar. A straw may break a camel's back, but this error seemed no straw to Mr. Butts. He dashed the piece on the floor; he staggered to his feet and felt his way to a cabinet against the wall;|he opened a secret drawer and took out a revolver. UK out, » 1CYUIVC1. ur hi J t the ti and noone He--when something touched him^ . ^posed. "well, what is it? I'M a bust hah." on the shoulder. It was the fairy's wand, and there stood the fairy, smiling pitifully upon him. "No, not that;" she said waving the potent rod to and fro. "Go tc sleep and awake the poor, careless, happy Thad Butts again." THE OLD NEWSPAPER MAN. learning By and partisan- supervis- Tlnae'Como When He la Forced Oat of tic Hprneae. For a time all goes well with the enthusiastic, ardent young men who give to their employers the full ben­ efit of all their talents and and increasing experience, by, however, the political ship or the editorial ion of the paper changes. New questions arise, on which the editors or proprietors and the leader writers find it difficult or impossible to agree. Gray hairs, too, begin to appear, be­ fore, as yet, there is any conscious diminution of intellectual power, though the mind may be becoming less supple, less adaptive, less re­ sponsive to hints from headquarters. Thus it comes to pass that men who still feel themselves in the prime of life, and who were wont to be praised and feted, discover a declining en­ thusiasm for their work in Quarters where it was formerly highly appre­ ciated. Next comes the galling mor­ tification of unsympathetic editorial revision, to be followed in time by rejection of contributions and reduc­ tion of salary- As a rule, it must be admitted that newspaper proprietors deal pa­ tiently and generously with writers whose brilliant work and devoted service laid the foundation of their paper's prosperity and of their own fortune Yet it does too frequently happen that the writer who in the heyday of • his prosperity and fame has been indifferent to worldly con Comparatlr* Fliroret on New Yorlr, Chica­ go, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. A report which is of great Interest and may prove to have much practi­ cal value is that just issued by La­ bor Commissioner Carroll D. Wright on the slums of leading American cities. Mr. Wright's statistic, which were sccured in response to a con­ gressional order for a special investi­ gation, deal with the slum districts of cities of over 200,000 inhabitants. New York is in the lead with a total ••slum population of" of a«0,000, and a "slum" district" proper which con­ tains neariv 30,000. Chicago is sec­ ond on the list with a slum (popula­ tion of lt)2,000. The Chicago slum district the region known as "the levee," with some adjacent territory, embraces a population oflH,74>i, the slum districts of Baltim re and Phil­ adelphia having about the same population. A fact significant but by no means surprising is the disproportionate in- crease in the number of saloons in the slum regions over the number in the other parts of the city. In the city of New York entire there is an average of one saloon to every 200 persons. In the New York slum dis­ tricts there is one saloon to every 129 persons. In Chicago the difference is even more marked, the city at large having one saloon to every 212 persons, while in the district marked out for special investigation by the Labor Commissioner tbdre is one sa­ loon to every 129 persons. f^E^e sta­ tistics also reveal some 8bViously natural conditions as to illiteracy and density of population, although a surprise appears in the shape of an announcement that the people in the slum districts enjoy quite as good j health, on tLe whole, as do those in i the cleaner and less crowded regions. J That this is misleading every one ! must believe, and Mrs. Florence Kelley, whose slum work is of much practical value to the city, has ex­ plained in The Record how the sick of the sium regions quickly go to the grave or the hospital, and so es­ cape enumeration at their places of residence. The information thus elicited can not fail to be of value to the student of social reform, but let there be no false hopes that any investigation or reformatory work that may be under­ taken upon it is going to remove the eyesores which are inevitable to every great city. What has long been ap­ parent in dealing with the slum regions of American cities every- While Dr. Blackburn was iu the gu­ bernatorial chair she cooked all the state dinners which were held at Frankfort and they were royal af­ fairs, indeed. Now old Chloe's days of usefulness are about ended. Her beaten biscuits are renowned and she still prepares these for entertain* ments. Though honored, she is humble, and she is now a welcome visitor iix the homes of those who knew her in her younger Louisville Courier-Journal. r f BEAUTIES OF THE WEST INDIES. In a Texas Court. j late Gov. Throckmorton, oi tas, was once engaged in the defense man accused of murder. The evi­ nce against his client, says Kate kid's Washington, was too strong to [overcome by any plea except that of defense; but the man killed was in seen OTIKEA'S KING AS A SCHOLAR. What Science Does for fs. An English periodical accuses met of science of pernicious- activity in increasing the burden of knowledge, says the New Yori< Commercial Ad vertiser. Everywhere there ar« armies of men armed with all the ap­ pliances of modern science gathering new facts when we already stand ap­ palled before the awful number of things the mind may and perhaps ought to khow. We think enviously of the time when it was compara. lively easy for one mind to Know all that was then knowable, when u working acquaintance with tongues and with polite literature made the learned maa Now the knowledge in the possession of the world is so vast that the best a man can do is to become master of some specialty at the risk of narrowness or else a smat- terer with a superficial acquaintance with a var ety of things. The complaint against the investi­ gating men of science, however, is unjust While it is true that they are adding daily to the appalling stock of facts, they are really moving toward that condition where one man may know all that is known in the world. The men of science are act­ ually reducing the byrden of knowl­ edge--they are generalizing or classi­ fying facts and making it as easy to know a thousand things as one thing. That is to say, when one has become well grounded in scientific methods h • has the potentiality of all Knowl­ edge. It is the best work of science to group isolated facts, and it is as easy to know a bundle of classified facts a6 a single fact Into it Mr. Butts dropped the coin, "for luck's sake," he expla ned al­ most apologetically to his attendant "God bless you." said the mendi- .th_us 8hf:wiDpthat his affllction j side rat i o ns and" has" falled"to"Wure his future "by a partnership finds i , ' had its recompenses. And now the bustle ot the street stirred Mr. Butts like a trumpet call. He pressed on eagerly, puffing, per" spiring, groaning, yet superior to his physical infirmities. He brushed through the counting room of his es­ tablishment with a gruff "Morning!" in response to the reverential salu­ tations of the clerks. Through room after room Mr. Butts hurried; through winding hall­ ways and furtive doors. At length his private office, that holy of holies, was reached. The detectve took a seat without, but the magnate en­ tered, and in an instant was at his desk with coat off, waistcoat unbut­ toned, arms deep in a mass of pa­ pers. "Jenkins." snapped Mr. Butts, ••our expenses are one-third too high. Cut them down at once, I don't (are how; but mark this, if the service .suffers, off goes your head." Then followed neryous, impass­ ioned. incessant toil. Mr. Butts, bis stenographer, his typewriter, his telegrapher, were all as closely en­ gaged as if millions were nations and dollars drops of blood. The details of an immense fortune were scrupu­ lously examiued, as an insane builder might examine the bricks of auother tower of babel: its increase was be­ littled, its dearth enlarged. | Then came a diversion. There was a rap, and the detective entered, frowning against the suspicion of a grin. "Are you in, sir. to personal calls?" he asked. "You know I'm not; go to the devil!" grunted Mr; Butts, barely raising his eyes from his calculations. Tne man hesitated, withdrew, but soon returned again. "They won't go, sir," he explained. "Tiley say you made the engagement yourselt And they sent these cards." himself compelled either to suppress his owu convictions and write against his own belieis, or let himself be shelved when still in the maturity of his powers--his prest'ge declining and bis income diminishing--while those of other men in other profes­ sions, much his inferior in capacity, and In the power of wo k, are stead­ ily increasing. The journalist who toils unselfishly for the public, making everybody's concerns his own, all too frequently neglects his personal interests. Often at the end of the day he is himself a neglected man, having little comfort or consolation beyond the rejection that if success has not been achieved it has been deserved. Of course, many press men, especially those en­ dowed with the business instinct, do win fame and fortune. In their de­ clining years, as proprietors of pros­ perous papers earning high dividends, they have That which should accompany old a*e: As honor, love, obedience, troops ot friends. --The Gentleman's Magazine. Hie Majeety Once Conducted the Klam­ ination at Itls Knellsh School- In Corea they have a method of civil service examination that is unique. - The Chinese go in a great deal for educational tests and all that sort of thingj but nowhere else in the world can be found a system that brings together so closely the chief ruler of the country and applicants for government appointment as in the Hermit Nation. Some years ago the King engaged the service of three American college graduates, and opened an English school in Seoul, somewhat after the style of the Uni­ versity of Tokia A certain number of students are supported and taught at the expense ot the uovernment,the object heing, by a seven years' course in English and the natural political sciences, to educate the young men of the nobility for positions of the highest grade. Much opposition to this innovation was at first shown by what might be termed the know- nothing element, but the King never wavered for a moment in his devo­ tion to the school, and each year took personal charge of the examinations. He not only directed bat conducted them himself. One of the American professors, in describing his experi­ ences in Corea, thus pictures the method of the royal examiner and his system of marking the candi­ dates: "His Majesty kept account of every mistake in pronunciation and inter­ pretation, and knew Just how to grade the man. In every case he ap­ pealed to us for our judgment as to the grade which the man deserved, and afterwards ordered as he thought best There were four grades: •tong,' which meant perfect; 'yak,* which meant second; 'chau,' third, and poul,' failure. When the King announced what the man was to re­ ceive, one of the (ourtiers picked up a block of wood on which was written the Chinese character for that grade, and. placing it on a salver, elevated it before the King and pronounccd the name of the grade in a loud voice. Then the student retired and another was called up For three days the examination went on, one day being occupied in exam­ ining their ability to write English at oilr dictation. At the end his Majesty took cognizance of those men wbo had passed the bestexamination, and the prues were given lo the shape of what is called here 'iank'-- which really means some placc under the government There are a score of different ranks, and the rising from one to the other of these forms is the highest ambition ot the Corean."--New York World. Dtucoverjr of Leaven. The undents attributed the dis­ covery of leaven to the Egyptians, and it was from them that the He­ brews lea ncd it We learn from the dieam of Pharaho's chief baker, interpreted by Joseph, that baking had be othe a distinct puisuit. This was nineteen centu ies B. C, and $bout four centuries lrter, when the Israelites left Egypt, leavened bread _ as their chief arti le of diet, as it 0Fa3 also in general use throughout pafijbe East. The first bakers of Bome pre? re elaves captured du.ing theex- insjdition agaihst Philip, 171 B. CL Trwike substitution of beer for leaven Hvenpears to have been adopted by the r.'^cient Gauls, but the custom fell nt to disuse, and was completely for- ^^fytten until toward the middle of the "S&venteenth century, when it was re­ discovered in London, and in spite of the opposition of the medical pro­ fessors, universally adopted. For a longjtime|every family made its own bread, and there were no bakers ex­ cept in the cities. The bread eatery are still a minority in the world. The number of civili/.ed persons who habitually consume wheaten bread is not estimated at more than five hun­ dred millions. Even in Europe a great part of the populace is reduced to the use of inferior bread made of coarse cereals and pulses, and indif­ ferently prepared. More wheat is grown and consumed in France than in any other European country; but six millions of its population do not know the taste of bread made of buckwheat) maize, or of chestnut meal. Be Had Nerve. Judge John D. Ellis, the well- known Bellevue (Ky.) attorney, told the following good story on himself Creole* and Quadroon# Who Exeel la the Arts nt Ore Mine and Flirting. In Barbadoes, as in the French colonics, the term • •Creole" is r^rhtly used to designate the de­ scendants of French and Spanish settlers in the island--not necessarily those who have an admixture of ne­ gro blood, says a correspondent of the Philadelphia Record. Some of the Creole women are extremely beautiful, and their dark loveliness is enhanced by the tropical heat which renders English women faded and worn iu a few years' time. While an Anglo-Saxon grows red as a boiled lobster under the glowing sun and becomes a "dem'd damp, moist, un­ pleasant body," one of the Latin race merely lojks a trifle paler, with eyes more luminous and dreamv under in­ fluence of excessive beat or strong emotion. Some of the quadroon girls are even handsomer than the Creoles, whom they resemble in many ways and generally excel in dressing and flirting. The '•race problem." as it is called in the United States, bids fair to be solved here. Many of the most prosperous citizens are colored men, who were born in slavery. The better class of them are ambitious to show the world that they are compe­ tent to do what the white mau does, and to improve on the model if nec­ essary. Already they are found in every walk of life and branch of busi­ ness on the island, associating freely With the whites and highly esteemed by them, though intermarriages rare comparatively rare. Slavery was abolished only eleven years ago. yet one of the best plantations in Barba- does is owned by an ex-slave, which is worth, I am told, $100,000, and last year yielded some 300. hogsheads of sugar. This morning 1 noticed on the street a Sergeant, black as ebony and built like a Hercules, superin­ tending the digging of a ditch by some soldiers from the guardhouse, mostly white who were undergoing punishment The ebony Hercules carried a rattan, which he applied lustily to the backs of his charges, and it seems to me that the white backs got rather more of it than the black onea A Famous Pastors Wife. For some years Russell Conwell did not employ a private secretary, and during all that time Mrs. Cbnwell at­ tended to all his private correspond­ ence, keeping accurate account of all his lecture engagements, and when­ ever possible going with him upon his tours, writes Maude A. Bowyer iu the Ladies' Home Journal. Mrs. Conwell is tall and of noble presence and engaging manners. Fond of her home, she is a model housewife, looking carefully after every detail in the home and in all purchases for the family, always regulating her duties to be at leisure to do any work or visiting which she, a3 a pastor's wife, may be called upon at any time to do. tier home is a home to all her friends, and to any and all of the membersJ of her hus­ band's church. Mr. and Mrs. Conwell's only child, Agnes, who has just past her seven­ teenth year, resembles both parents in looks and character, aud assists them materially in their church work. She is also a teacher in the Sabbath- school connected with her father's church. The Conwell family spend their summers in the Berkshire Hills, where, nine miles from "the nearest siation," stands "The Little House on the HilL" There, tor three months of the year, they dispense hospitality with lavish bands. Mr. Conwell spends his weekdays there, returning to Philadelphia each Sunday to preach to his congregation.. NOT AS GORY AS. OF YORE. Superfluous. Bridget is an excellent cook, Ijut like most women of her profession while in the city recently, whLhgoes s^e *.s an(* i,lsi8ts uP°a to prove the genuineness of pure rural nerve, still flourishing, it seems, in some outlying districts. One of the Judge's farmer friends called at the Bellevue office a short time ago and submitted a complicated case as to the ownership of some fence rails. After spending nearly two hours in consultatioa the Judge announced the case was a winning one if prop­ erly handled. "Well, I'm much obliged, Judge," said the farmer, making for the door. "I'll go and hire a lawyer," and away he went to the office of another attorney before Mr. Ellis could locate his shotgun and get quick revenge--Cincinnat Times. Tbe Last of a Mighty Army. Sixty years from to-day, it may be, in some great cemetery of the Na« tion's dead, or haply within some quiet churchyard, will be reared a mound of flowers over the ^rave of the last survivor of the Civil War. For, though he be a stranger among strangers, a waif upon the shore left by the receding tide, with not a com­ rade to bear him company, he will not be unbefriended. There will be sons of veterans, grandsons of veter­ ans, daughters and grand-daughters of veterans to guard his footsteps to smooth his dying moments, sublimer far than those of Napoleon at St. Heleno, to write his wondrous epi­ taph and over bis ashes build a fitting monument.--Washington Post An Aute-Bellum "Aunty." Of the ••ante-bellum" aunties in this c.ty, Chloe Peay is one of the oldest and best known. Chloe is now about 70 years of age, and is greatly burdened with flesh. Her life has been marked by the greatest faith­ fulness to duty. Every virtue of her race has Veen cultivated by her to the greatest extent, and now she lives a cheerished dependent upon those whom she served so faithfully in her younger days. Before the war she was the property of the family of Gov. Luke Blackburn. At that time Dr. Blackburn lived on a plantation in Northern Mississippi, aud when the Unipn soldiers reached his home he fled on such short notice that no time was left for hiding the lamily 6iiver and valuable* Chloe was the only one left on the place and every­ thing was in her charge. She placed the silver in an old trunk and hid it in a swamp, where it was found eighteen months later, unharmed. In Good Company. There are subjects at which even the scoffer must not sneer if be still wishes to be considered well bred. No one may scout religion and still be known as a person of good taste. When old Monsieur de Montroud, a dissipated society man of the First Empire was in his last illness, the Abba Petitot was a frequent visitor at his bedside One day, in the courue of a serious conversation, the abbe said to him: "You have probably, during your long life, been very often tempted to speak lightly, and to joke about re­ ligion?" "No," said tbe old wit, seriously, "I have always moved in the best so­ ciety. " Once. A newspaper funny man has in­ vented not an absolutely fresh, but a comparativeiy new joke upon a very old subject Miss Timid was talking about her own nervousness, and her various night alarms. "Did you ever find a man under your bed, Mrs. Bluff?" she asked. "Yes," said the worthy woman. ••The night we thought there were burglars in the house I found my husband there." making all her dishes strictly accord­ ing to her own recipes. Her mistress gives her very full swing not only as to cooking, but as to the purchase of supplies. The other day her mistress said to her: • Bridget, the coffee you aTe giving us is very good. What kind is it?" "It's no koind at all, mum, said Bridget "It's a mixter" "How do you mix it*" "I make it one-quarter Mocha and and one-quarter Java and one-quarter Rio." 1 But that's only three-quartera What do you put in for the other quarter?" "I put in no other quarte:' at all, mum. That's where so many shpiles the coffee, mum--by putting in a foorth quaiter!" The Drama of To-day a Swallow-Taim Coat Affair Minna a Oood Villain. The other night a man went tot^e theater who had not been for years, and he couldn't make it out, says Pearson's Weekly. First of ail be misse l the siuiDle village youth, the virtuous hero who Was wont to t4ke the first prize at the Horticultural Society, or tslse win the guerdon at quolt», or something or other in the rustic revels. But worst of all he missed the dear old-fashioned villain, and although this play had a tre­ mendous villain in it our friend was not impressed with him a bit He sighs thus: "I came away again, sadly disap­ pointed. The play was not what 1 expected. 1 shall go. no more to the playhouse. The palmy days of the drama are over. The theater has fallen into the sear and yellow fifth act, and there is no health in it! Tbe theater has followed the path of literature and the good old thugs are changed. I beheld a lot of swell people in evening dress on the stage. They spoke quietly to one another, very much as people do off the stage, and in very much the same sorj^of language. This is not what it Want when I go to the theater. / "What is the theatrical vitla'n of to day? Is he a real, good, old-fash- ioned ruffian? Does he ever drag a helpless maiden from the domiciliary roof of her ancestors by the hair? No, sir. Does he ever say to the hero: 'Say one *word and thou art food for the wolves?1 Does he ever grab the heroine by tbe wrist, drag her down the stage in three strides, slam her down in a big chair, bend over her and whisper fiendishly, " 'S death, maiden, but by my soul, I love thee! Thou shalt be mi net \rield or by Heaven I'll • "That's all I know of that speech, because 'By Heaven I'll' is the cue for the maiden to spring up, and, throwing the villain halt way across the stage, to say: 'Unhand me, ruffian! And know, that rather th£»n mate with such as thou, I'd cast my­ self from yonder battlement into the foaming flood beneath!' "And does the villain then say: 'Now, by heavens, I like thy spirit! 1 love thee all the more for it£' „ "And does the maidehsay: •Merci­ ful powers, protect me?' "And does the door open and the hero rush in, armed with a good, blunt broadsword? And then do he and the villain fence up and down the stage, sixes, eights, shoulder blows, cut and thrust? Oh, no. These things have given way to swal­ low-tailed coats and high collars, and the villain is now as big a swell as any fellow in the show. Oh, for the good old palmy days of the drama, when the broadsword ruled and there was gore! The modern drama is too much like ice-cream after a heavy dinner--cold and unsatisfying." m Ml /•fill John Stuart J31aclcie. Professor John Stuart Blackje* of Edinburg, who has just celebrated his eighty-fifth birthday, is thus de­ scribed by a correspondent: "I encountered him one day beat­ ing eastward against a half gale, his cloud of white hair tossing abcut his head and flapping up against his big- brimmed soft black hat his cheeks rosy with tbe winter wind, and his kind eyes dancing with the delight toe takes in his favorite walking ex­ ercise. It was hard to believe he was in his eighty-fifth year. I told him how 1 had come across a book in which it was said that he loves to play the role of a peripatetic philosopher. How he laughed. 'Do they say that of me? Ho! ho! ho! And then he trolled a •Hi-ti-rumpty-tum,' snatching an air, as his habit is, from some half for­ gotten soug, winding up with a mut­ ter of Greek, looking the while as if he were a prophet apostro-1 phizing the gods. *Do i't mind the confusion of tongues.' he added. •Greek, Latin, Gaelic, English--it's all the same to me. I borrow the phrase that comes readiest for the thought But the Greek is the great language.' He has been in love with Greet for more than sixty years; he taught it during half that time; he knows it as well as he knows English; he reads Greek newspapers, he has the best Greek library in the king­ dom, and 1 dare say he dreams in , Greek. He had been extolling the master tongue with so much zeal that I said: 'You talk as if in spirit vou were more a Greek than a Scotch­ man.' •Not that'--he half sang the words--'Oh! bonny Scotland for me. A man should stick to the land where God put him.'" An Exception. "One thing must be admitted in favor of our sex," announced an ad­ vocate of female rights and superior­ ity to her husband. "in the time of need we are al­ ways strong. Can you mention the name of a single woman who has lost her bead in time of danger?" "Why, there was the lovely Marie Antoinette, my dear," suggested her husband, mildly, with a depreciatory smile. The grievances of drunken men are nearly all the same. The Family. Diametrically different constitu­ tions and temperaments are found in the same family. One son may be gifted with talent approaching to genius in art or mechanics, while an­ other may have no natural gift ex­ cept a sturdy manhood, which every one must learn to respect, and it would be madness for one brother, with his practical every-day ideas, to argue against the other, who may seem to him but a flighty dreamer. There is room enough in the world for all kinds and conditions of men and women, provided always that they are honest and true. It is a mother's duty especially to study the inclinations ot her children--to keep back no good aspiration, to check no useful talegt: however me­ diocre it may seem to her, it may be the stepping-stone to something higher. • Japanese Scholar. A Buffalo paper says that Redcliffe College, formerly Harvaid Annex, has among its undergraduates this year the first Japanese girl who has come to this country to be educated. She is a Miss Miids-Mori, and she is described as a charming combination of Japauese features, fr uglish dress, American coiffure, and "JaDanese- Anglo" language. She is the daugh­ ter of a wealthy banker in Yanaga- wa, Japan, who was converted f> Christianity some years ago and h%s educated his sons and daughters In that faith. Miss Mori will study tu England and France, as well hs .n the United States, and will tlwn re­ turn to Japan to devote herself to educational and missionary work. She is twenty years old. THE hirine the world owes an idler wiU never be paid to # dead beat Eccentric Rages* Handel knew his own power, as every great man knows; and it is not surprising that he was thought to be proud. Nor could such a noble in­ tellect be else than earnest and thor­ ough. In a recent work on the great composer, the author, Frederick J. Crowest, writes that Handel, when at work, was often rough and pre- emitory He would deal out torrents of abuse "ven tings vos mixed," to understmd which one required to be intimately acquainted with at least English, French. German, and Italian. Yet these rages were healthy outbursts of a great mind, not morbid, jealous feelings. Such fits of wrath led to amusing scenes. How he thundered and roared at Cuzzon when she re­ fused to sing an air which he had written for her, and only did so from fear lest he should give efleet to his threat to throw her tout of the win­ dow. What a rating, too, he gave the poor Chester printer, Jansen, who as­ sured Handel he could "sing at sight." "You tchountrcl! Tit not you tell? me dat you could sing at soite?" "Yes," sir," said the affrighted chorister; "and so I can, but not at: first sight" Belting. - The eubstitution of camel's hair, cotton, paint, and chemicals for leath­ er in machinery belting is said to be meeting with some success by manufacturers who have examined into the matter. It is an English in-? vention, and the material is claimed to be stronger than any other belting, more durable, more efficient, and as low-priced. You hear so many wonderful things that are Bot tcue- .-Sp " wm •i • 3 "V .. iH ffiari": . * »- ' #V>- -'i