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PLAI] ! Jf. VAN SLYKE, Editor and fab. MoHENBY. ILLINOK iW-i SUCH IS LIFE. *inf and she could cT£38he could dance from night till ' iSfae couid while the hoars away; • %5 So'tis said; / £ «^She conld skate, tihe could palm ^ »" But she couldn't and she wouldn \ V - Make a bed. •v She could walk eight.mite* a day, And play tennis charmingly, »iFlirting in a saucy way, ft 9*. Little scamp! jl; ' l|.*« ^ijBhe could drive, and play ' could make a stylish call, ' jBut she couldn't and she wouldn*! |L > Glean a lamp. J 4 • ' % * * • • S h e c o n l d s w i m a n d s h e c o u l d r o w , §/ J X * .©he could always have a beau, if; , ^And I'm sure that we all know >}" / She was shy. \ W ; 1 H . IShe could laugh and she could prUCC, Pi- K , She conld play a game of chance, K • fr' v But she couldn't and she wouldn't ¥v ^ ' Make a pie. kjff 1 r__ O' et°h and write a book, J* J * K' ®^e could vanquish with a look, s,- . <•»«« wuUi w i ti l>y liook or crook, I confess; » She could scold and she conld flout, " '; jShe could cry and she could pout, '"I But she couldn't and she wouldn't VilMake a dress. $ ̂ « A ", IShe could talk of church affairs, "ff, • '* She knew naught of household cares; j** Still I'm sure that none compares ' "*•,*) With sweet Nan; », fifiEven if she couldn't bake |fBread and pies and angel cake, wL ' She enraptured and she captured Ik " : i. A rich man! My* :y;% V's '• • ' t •fe'.' ms:-;.; -r k COMPLICATED CASE. She was a little dressmaker whom everybody respected, but who, In spite of the fact that her family consisted of only one, and that one herself, had sever climbed the hill of difficulty, but was ever at the foot. She had ambi­ tions and Ideals, after which she was perpetually^ striving1 in the treadmill methods of a struggle for daily exist­ ence. She had possibly some dreams of love, but there was always a dismal awakening until she had come to look upon her circumscribed area of life as tlie only camping ground fate was will­ ing she should have. So she made her­ self comfortable with the material at band, and tried to think herself happy When her four walls were the boun­ daries of her world. Contentment came, if not happiness, and then the disturbing element of love altered into her domain and took pos- aession. At least she, who was not familiar with the dear visage of love, mistook the intruder for the winged fod, and bade him welcome. To drop metaphor, she was continually meet­ ing a man upon the stairs of the board­ ing house, which was her Rialto. He was a lonely single man of gentlemanly appearance, but to the eye of the initiat­ ed he bore the unmistakable signs of dissipation. Miss Lonsdale, the little dressmaker, was not initiated. She be- Reved him to be suffering from til­ th, the result of despondency, and, oman-like, first pitied, then loved His name was Maurice Dunbar, he told her that his family had wned him because he was poor. This seemed perfectly natural to Miss Lonsdale, for she herself looked on poverty as a disease or crime and shun­ ned contact with the'more fortunate of her fellow beings. They were married and she soon e „ that / with a conjugal comple­ ment she was a complete failure. She had used her burial fund as a mar­ riage dowry, and, while it lasted, they lived on the fat of the land. She found J*her husband had extravagant tastes and she gratified him. He had no *oney, so she provided him with all flpe had, and when it was gone, went to her dressmaking, a profession "i| which matrimony is always fatal. 'She was absent-minded, and nearly cut off & customer's ear with her fitting She no longer chatted and be- tlme of her fashionable peo- quaint reminders of other They grew tired of her and r custom elsewhere. "t came out in the usual way. Love's wings trailed in the dust and were de­ spoiled. When she could no longer maintain him, her husband abused her. "I made you a lady when I married Fou," he said; "my family is far above jrours," and he would pose dramatical­ ly like an injured lord. i J "I have no family," she would an- f^ttrer in a tear-choked voice, "except MOti. Be good to me, Maurice, and I Will do anything for you. You need apt lift a finger; only be good to me." • The disposition of a man to whom -fWch an appeal is necessary is already Brutalized beyond redemption. He went from bad to worse, gambled, drank, and ended by beating his wife, * jjj}H turning !i©r ont -of doors • That is not pleasant to read about; - .think, then, what it must have been to "IjB^Hiure. Mrs. Dunbar went to the ^P>ttse of one whom she had befriended i© ask shelter for the night It was de- cMnedon the ground that there was no room. She would have taken nd in and sat up all night that ht rest well. There was one *nily, but on the steps of their her heart failed her, and she tamed away and went back to her own rooms, where she could not make any Impression on the man In a drunken Meep within. Then she walked the •treets until daylight, when she fell Senseless and was carried off in an ambulance to one of the hospitals, if^ere she remained unknown and un- jdaimed. She wag ill a long time. After that JJiere was a tedious season of convales- jcenee. She was in the city ward, but everybody was good to her and took an 'ffaterest in tlie lonely woman. She seat m to her husband by a messenger, rought back word that the house pty. She never Intended to go him, but wanted the few pos- she owned to make her com- j- he was reading a newspa- ie saw her husband's name Hied in a marine disaster. Jbe nq, mistaking it, for it ,r and the description jus- her fears--or shall I say hopes? (suffered so much that she Shed no tears for him 'nor can- him aa some widows do their de- VWS' 1 •' ' * -Jv:i ' W parted tyrants. 8b* waa sorry for lite wasted life, his desperate death, but would have felt herself insincere and hypocritical to mourn for his taking off. She went out into tlie world the next day and began life-over again, queen of two hands. Richard Lester, lawyer and poli­ tician, and a rising Young man, al­ though no longer young, sat alone In his private office one afternooii, when the door opened to admit his confiden­ tial clerk, who said: "A lady to see you, sir," and at the same time he laid a cheap-looking card upon the lawyer's desk. It read: "Mrs. Maurice Dunbar, fashionable dress­ making, Rose Terrace." "Why, Claude," exclaimed Mr. Les­ ter, "this is the party for whom we advertised." "Same party," responded the cleric, witfr commendable brevity. "Well, this is remarkable. But, by the way, Claude, it was a man, not a woman, we wanted. What does she look like?" /' . "Widow, rir.*"> ^ >-> ' "Show her in.* The next moment a slight figure, dressed in new, cheap black, was ush- ered^iuto the room. The lawyer rose to meet her. He asked brusquely: "Are you the widow of Maurice Dun­ bar?" • "Yes, sir." Her voice had a jp*S<mltor acquired through much pain--the clear, low sweetness of her hospital tones at­ tuned to the ear of suffering. There was nothing suppliant in them.no alms- taking quality, but a womanliness that touched the tough heart of -the lawyer into a sympathetic vibration. He look­ ed at her with interest, and excused himself for asking her to throw aside her long crape veil. He found him­ self staring at a pale, delicate face, around which masses of red-brown hair were heavily crimped. Her eyes looked into his with the truthfulness of a child. "Pardon me," he stammered; then resuming his coldest exterior, demand­ ed her credentials. <43he showed an ap­ titude for business in the promptness with which she produced her identifi­ cation, the account of her husband's death a«d other data of Importance., No point was left uncovered. She had come prepared to lay immediate claim to a fortune left to Maurice Dunbar by his uncle, Maurice Dunbar, who had lived for the past twenty years in an Inland town of British North America. He was not on good terms with any member of his family excepting Maur­ ice, who had visited him some years previous, and in whose favor the will had been made at that time. "Had you ever heard your late hus­ band speak of this uncle?" the lawyer asked among other questions. "I have heard him speak of/a relative from whom he had expectations," an­ swered the widow guardedly, "and he once said that he would be benefited by his death, and that he had the same name." "The name is a common one, but 1 shall probably have other applicants who will see the advertisement, and must not make any mistake. The con­ ditions of the bequest are unusual. Have you any children?" "No, thank God," answered the wid­ ow, quickly. She felt that she had reason to be thankful in escaping that perpetuation of moral obliquity. "In the case of there being children the money would belong rightfully to them. The will makes this provision, but adds further that if there are no children the widow shall be the next heir. In the event of death or remar­ riage, the whole sum reverts to charity, one particular Institution being named as beneficiary." "I shall not marry again," asserted the widow. "Don't be~To<r~certain of that," re­ sponded the lawyer, "you are still young and at " attractive, he was going to say, but finally concluded, "at your age It is not an Impossibility. I will see you again to-mor»ow. Good- by, madam," and he escorted her to the door, which he closed after her. Within a month the money had been paid to her, and the widow of Maurice Dunbar, who had put on her first black in order to appear decorous at the law­ yer's office, moved into a handsome new house, and began climbing to her new ideals upon the fateful fragments of her dead past. She hardly recogniz­ ed herself in her new role of a success­ ful woman who had money enough and to spare. There was no frivolity in her outlay. Her home was a picture of comfort She looked up a poor woman v?ho had once assisted her in her dress­ making enterprises, and gave her an elaborate order for modified mourning. She made glad the waste places of many a life with her compassionate help, and in making others happy found her own greatest happiness. One man came to her for help and comfort who needed the sunshine of life and could find it only in her pres­ ence. This was Richard Lester, the successful lawyer. He had met his fate when he first saw Myra Dunbar and heard the tones of her womanly voice, and now he was pleading with her to marry him, to cast her fortune into the lap of charity and to receive ten-fold from him. She was afraid to tempt fate again and put htm off, but he had compelled her to acknowledge that this love was no imposture, but tc«* genuine brand. She was lonely and so was he, and they were so congenial and looked at every thing with the same eyes. What she did not know he could easily forgive. And he wfuld teach her--sweet employment! And at last (She consented to a very quiet wedding, and a long journey to foreign lands where, under a new heav­ en, their wedding life would begin, then "A--some one to see you, ma'am," announced the rosy-faced housemaid of the widow one morning a few weeks before the wedding day. "Some one on business, Julia?" asked [ Mrs. Dunbar, looking up from the morning paper. I "Y-e-s'm. I expect he wants help. He looks kind of shabby." "He is not a gentleman?" "I should say not ma'am, and he isn't a tramp exactly--kind of betwixt and between." "I will see him," said Mrs. Dunbar, and she laid aside her paper and left the bright fire burning in the grate a little relunctantly. She had laid aside her mourning now that she was en­ gaged to another man, and wore a pret­ ty breakfast gown that was suitable to heir petite stature ̂and most becom ̂ When she entered the little reception room where the caller awaited, she saw: a thin, emaciated man shabbily dress­ ed and bearing many marks of priva­ tion--and she saw something else, a likeness in his profile that set her heart to beating with an awful fear. When he rose and confronted her she fell back, and with whitening lips gasped; out the name: • "Maurice Dunbar!" "Yes! Maurice Dunbar, returned from the dead," was the cruel, sneering answer; Then she fainted and mercifully knew no more. Again, Richard Lester, a bowed and miserable man, was seated in his of­ fice alone in the gloom and depression of approaching night and of his own" unhappy thoughts. Before him was the one letter he had received from her1 since the cruel necessity of parting had come upon them. It contained the rfbg with which they had plighted their troth. He4iad written a mad and hasty reply, liy which he had urged her to fly with him, and offered the devotion of a lifetime! and she had to come to him and rebuked him with a broken heart not make it harder for me," she said in that brief final interview. "You can dwme thln^to heln me. if It Is not wrong. This money really belongs to-- to--my husband, but I think God has made me his almoner. As long as he believes the money to be mine, I can control him and compel him to live like a gentleman and perhaps help him morally. If he has it he will go to in­ stant ruin. Will you help me keep the seeret? He shall have every comfort but he must take all at my hands. Can you do this legally?" No, he could not, but for love of her concluded to keep silent and let her be­ lieve it was right So h£ pays the an­ nuity regularly and asks God to forgive him if he does evil that good may come. A strange sequel to this was a call on one occasion from Maurice Dunbar himself, who, well dressed and cared for, presented the appearance of a gen­ tleman, *a moral phase of development which was the effect of his wife's faith­ ful labors--at first from a sense of duty, but later from a revival of the old love. "I have come," he said, as he fol­ lowed his card into the presence of the lawyer, "to consult you on a matter of importance upon which I require legal advice." ^ ^ "He has heard1 of the bequests," thought Lester with a sudden fear, but aloud he said calmly: "Please state the circumstances as briefly as possi­ ble." And he llstened^to another phase In the complicated life of the woman he loved. "I wish to inquire," proceeded Maur­ ice Dunbar, "whether a man who mar­ ries under an assumed name is legacy married or not?" Richard Lester made no outward demonstration of a great joy that for one moment filled his heart, to be fol­ lowed by a thrill of despair. "Yes," he said, after a moment's thought; "yes, by the law of this State a man who marries under any name is legally married. I assume, then," continued the lawyer, "that you are in­ terested in such a case?" "I am personally interested. The name by which I am known, Maurice Dunbar, is not my own name. I have been troubled with some doubts. My wife is a lovely Christian woman, and I feared I had done her a wrong in marrying her under a name that was assumed as a matter of convenience. There is no disgrace attached to it, but when I renounced my family I left off the old name. I shall keep the one I have until I die." 4 ' ' ' He paid a liberal fee and left the stunned and dazed man of law with an­ other complexity to combat Richard Lester never by any chance sees Mrs. Dunbar, whose man of busi­ ness he remains; nor does he know that to her he is only a memory associ­ ated with a certain legal transaction, which she believes she is justified in keeping secret; for she realizes that her husband is weak, and his present good­ ness enforced, but she has saved him from himself, and is satisfied with her reward. It only remains now for the real Mau­ rice Dunbar to appear and claim his in­ heritance, which Richard Lester will pay him, dollar for dolar. But this is a contingency which may neve* occus. --Detroit Free Press. A & £ T Is the general consensus of opin­ ion that in order that a married cou­ ple should be per­ fectly happy per- f e c t confidence s h o u l d e x i s t b e ­ tween t h em. A group of young o * w i v e s t h e o t h e r day took up this self-same topic for dis­ cussion, and it was finally agreed that this policy might do for some men, but that there were certain masculine in* dividuals whom it Was much better to keep in ignorance than to give to them U complete history - Off e vei'y act uiui. transpired during the day. Now, this conclusion did not in any way indicate that the actions mentioned were such that the women would be ashamed to confess, but what might be passed over with a smile at one time would be met with a frown and a rebuke at another. "When I was first married," said a brown-bared wife of 25, "I determined to tell my husband everything that I thought, said, or did. I soon found out, however, that such a plan was not con­ ducive to mutual happiness, but rather against it, for many times I would dis- their shape for a long time. When they are so worn that they must be bright­ ened, rub them with a flannel cloth and a little vaseline. Apply the grease carefully, not merely smearing It over the surface of the leather, but rubbing it in. Wlxm It is completely absorbed rub briskly with fresh flannel. Do not wear your walking shoes in the house, and do not walk in your slippers. Keep a pair of shoes suitable for each occa­ sion. In this way, though you may seem to have an extravagant supply, you will bo really displaying an econ­ omical spirit Shoes worn indoors and out not only soon lose their brightness and neatness, but last only about one- third as long as if they were occasion­ ally relieved. • For the I<ips* ' Unlovely Hps come from an unhealthy stomach. Bad digestion will often as­ sert itself, in broken or chapped lips, sores in the corners of the mouth, fever biiscers auu u coated tongue. Chronic sore moutH^ should be rubbed with sweet oil or pure glycerine at night; in the morning wash with a solution of alum or borax--a teaspoonful in a tum­ bler of water. Camphor Ice Is both healing and cleansing. Good cold cream is not a bad salve. The receipt is simple enough, but it doesn't pay to prepare it; all the druggists have Sup­ plies and cheerfully dispense five-cent quantities. Citron ointment is one of the old reliable salves kept by all chem­ ists. It is applied to the sore with a soft linen cloth. When the mouth Iff I DINN BR DRESS. Funerals In Colonial Maryland. Funerals were expensive; the hears­ ing and inearthing of a person of qual­ ity in the middle of'the eighteenth cen­ tury was a proceeding commonly char­ acterized by features eminently social, if not convivial. For the obsequies of a gentleman of Baltimore in 1758 the "outfit" called for a coffin at £G 16s.; four yards of crape at £7 3s. (ML; twen­ ty-three yards of black tiffany, £4 16s.; five and one-half yards of broadcloth, £6, lis. 3d.; seven and a half yards of black shalloon, 19s. 3d.; six and one-half yards of linen, £113s.; three dozen pairs of men's black silk gloves, £5 8s.; a doz­ en pairs of women's black silk gloves, £3 12s.; black silk handkerchiefs, cala­ manco, mohair and buckram ribbon; besides forty-seven and a half pounds of loaf sugar, fourteen dozen eggs, ten dozen nutmegs, one and a half pounds of alsplce, twenty gallons of white wine, twelve bottles of red wine and ten gallons of rum ^-Century. - • ~ " ~~ ~ . - f-1 w ' r'.' A Submarine Detector, ** By the use of the Submarine detec­ tor the Russian monitor Rusalka, which foundered with all hands on board a little over a year ago, In a storm In the Gulf of Finland, has been found in thirty fathoms of water. The Russian government intends to raise her. The detector consists of a sinker containing an electrical arrangement attached to an electric cable, which joins it to an­ other electrical arrangement on deck, connected to a telephone. The appara­ tus is so adjusted that the approach of a mass of metal disturbs the adjust­ ment and makes a sound in the tele­ phone. The main object of Captain McEvoy, the designer of the apparatus^ was to indicate the approach of iroa ships to anchored torpedoes, and to search for stray torpedoes, lost an­ chors and chains, telegraph cables and the like.--Philadelphia Ledger. cover that In putting action into words the spirit that prompted the former could not be definitely depicted In the latter, and what had been done with good intentions failed many times to look the same way when related, and frequently when I had started out for a pleasant little exchange of confi­ dences I found myself plunged in a rare quarrel, which sometimes ended in my husband putting on his coat and de­ parting, leaving me to spend a most un­ happy, tearful evening instead of the pleasant one I had anticipated. After awhile I found that if I wished to be thoroughly happy I must not be too confidential. My rule now is to live as nearly right as I know how, follow­ ing out the dictates of my own con­ science and avoiding the snares and pitfalls of too open confession by ju­ dicious silence, which is, after all, the more sensible plan with the man I-have to manage. r > , "You do not imagine for an jfntot&nt that a man tells every picayune hap­ pening of his day. I am content So long as I feel certain in my own mind that he is right on the main points. The open confession that is good for the soul is all right once in awhile, but as a steady diet it does not pay, despite all well-regulated opinions to the con­ trary. A little hush fell upon the group as the advanced young person concluded those women who take little exercise and one more venturesome spirit than the others whispered: "I think she la right, but I never would have been bold enough to say so first--Philadelphia enough to pay so first"--Philadelphia To Seduce Flesh. An authority on foods prescribes for those women who take little, exercise and accumulate flesh rapidly green vegetables growing above the ground, like peas, spinach, and asparagus, and plain green salads, unmixed with poul­ try, meat, or fish, such as lettuce, celery and cresses, with a French dressing. Very little starchy food and white meats should be eaten, as chicken, lamb, or mutton, but there should be consumed a great deal of fruit toast and whole wheat bread. Avoid sweets, It is further advised, and use few stimulants, the best being Sauterne and Rhine wine In moderation. For brain workers the same authority ad­ vised red meats, particularly beef, with starchy foods taken in the form of rice and whole wheat bread, all green veg­ etables that grow above the ground, green salads every day, with French dressing, containing plenty of oil, fruit in abundance, and no sweets. sore the diet should be changed to vege­ table foods. A Parisian Racer. The original of the picture here pro­ duced is a danseuse from the Varieties and Opera House. Early last year she became a convert to the wheel, and dur­ ing that year took part in the first fe» A PARISIAN RACER. The Indications are that some day the people will be compelled to call out the mUltlf to protect them from elocu­ tionists. . * • ' ' i f f ' ';/.K m Shoe* and How to Keep Them, If you would have your shoes detain their pristine freshness longer than a week do not treat them with polishes and dressings, each one of which claims to be the best and least injuri­ ous. As soon as yoa come in from a walk dust them carefully with a soft flannel kept for that purpose. Let them air, as you do your underclothes, and when they ai*e dry stuff them with soft tissue paper; button or lace them ojef thia. In this way they will k< male race ever held in this country. She got but third place; but this year having vastly improved, she won very easily from the rjest of the competitors. For a Thin Neck. The most effective way of hiding a thin neck is not only to have an orna­ mental band of some kind round the throat, but festoons of beads or pearls or diamonds falling over the collar bone. It is easy to get these and it is not difficult to arrange them, always provided that you can obtain the bars, which ought to keep the festoons In place. These necklaces vary from three to six rows. Some new bands for the neck take the form of a straight piece of tulle, black or white, gathered to the depth of about two inches, and caught down at intervals by bars of diamonds or jet. These are singularly soft and becoming. To Lengthen a Flannel] Skirt. The genuine new woman scorns the flannel petticoat She is devoted to the combination suit, which regards that old-fashioned garment as superfluous. This suggestion, therefor^, is merely for the woman who clings to antique styles, and Who declares {that she will wear a flannel petticoat Jntil she dies. If last year's skirts are aiJ inch or so too short they may be lengthened and beautified at the same ifme by adding a deep frill of woven also may be taken ofll sewed to a muslin yok< fit smoothly across the ce. The sklxt the band and which shouM! 8. The Best Meats for Children. The following represent the best meats for children in the orler of their digestibility: Cold mutton, mutton chops, roast beef, rabbit meat and chicken. Veal, pork, turkey, /loose and duck should be excluded from\the chil­ dren's bill of fare. SASH WEIGHTS. 4. Single Window Mst Have Nearly • Ton of Them. There are few articles of more com* Dion use than sash weights, says the New York Sun. A few windows are Still made to be held up with catches, just as there are still key-winding wattftes; but like watches, their num­ ber is proportionately so small as to be scarcely appreciable. Sash weights are made of iron and lead. The iron weights are commonly made of tin scrap. Lead, being the heavier metal, is used in places where the weight space at command is not sufficient for Iron counterbalances of the required weight Sash weights are made in regular Blzes ranging from two pounds to thir­ ty pounds, and under two pounds and over thirty they are made to order. Iron sash weights of the regular Blzes are always made round; in sizes small­ er or larger they are cast square. Lead weights are made both round and square in all sizes. Sash weights of 150 to 200 pounds are not common, but they would hot be considered remarkable. Weights are sometimes made 300 pounds up to 400 pounds. Thus there might be on a single sash window nearly half a ton of weights, and on a two-sash win- tiow mor<i tiitiii Lhree-quartci-u >;i n iun. So perfectly balanced are weights and windows that they can be raised and lowered easily. Heavy weights are never put In by .guess, nor is it neces­ sary to adjust them after they are in place. Tne sash Is weighed before the counterbalances are ordered, and the weights are made of precisely the right proportion. The production of sash weights de­ pends upon the degree of activity in building. The total annual consump- tlon in this country is probably about 150,(KM) tons. Weights are sent with all sashes exported to South America, or Wherever they nay go. - The aggregate weight of the counter­ balances used in many of the larger modern buildings may be counted in tons. Thus In such a building as the Produce Exchange there are probably from sixty to eighty tons of sash weights; in the Hotel Majestic, more than forty tons., A Course Dinner. A correspondent sends to the Com< panlon an amusing little anecdote oi James Russell Lowell and his wife :On the ground that "misery loves com. pany" our correspondent thinks that 11 may be of peculiar interest to feminine readers. The incident occurred In ear ly spring, when, as all housekeeper! know, the course of household affalri is apt to be more or less disturbed. As Mr. Lowell was leaving the hous< in the morning his wife said to him: "Now, James, I beg of you not tc bring anyone home to dinner to-day, We are too much distracted with house cleaning to cook, and the prospect if that there will be little for us to eat" Mr. Lowell promised to heed her re quest, but as evil luck would have it ht met during the day the oldest son of ai English family with whom he had bee* on terms of friendship while Ministei to the court of St. James. In fact Mr, Lowell's parting words to the youn| man, only a few months before, ha<! been: "When you Cqme to America, be suri to visit us Your welcome Is alwayt rfeady for you." Naturally, therefore, he now forgo) his wife's admonition, and insisted up on the young Englishman's going hom< With him to dinner. * The meal consisted of "picked fish* and potatoes. The guest was evidentlj puzzled. He had never eaten "picked fish" before. Mrs. Lowell, meantime was haunted by thoughts of the apple pie that was to finish the repast. Hei sensations may be imagined when th« Englishman, after playing daintilj with the contents of his plate, remark­ ed in the most oourteous manner: "I know that Mrs. Lowell will par' don me if I omit the fish course!" VACCINE POINTS. The Salt Lake City high school new .enrolls 367 pupils. The corps of teach- J erji in the high school Is tf ejv^, Why He Was Advanced* A business firm once employed a young man whose energy and grasp ol affairs soon led the management to pro­ mote him over a faithful and trusted ,employe, says a writer in the Populai Science Monthly. The old clerk felt deeply hurt that the younger man should be promoted over him, and com­ plained to the manager. Feeling that this was a' case thai could not be argued, the manager asked the old clerk what was the occasion oi all the noise in front of their building, The clerk went forward, and returned with the answer that it was a lot ol wagons going by. The manager then asked what thej were loaded with, and again the clerk went out and returned, reporting thai they were loaded with wheat. Tie manager then sent him to ascer­ tain how many wagons there were, and he returned with the answer that there were sixteen. Finally he was sent to see where they were from, and he re­ turned saying they were from the City of Lucena. The manager then asked tee old clerk to be seated, and sent for the young man, and said to him: "Will you see what is the meaning ol that rubbling noise in front?" The young man replied: "Sixteen wagons loaded with wheat. Twenty more will pass to-morrow. They be­ long to Romero & Co., of Lucena, and are on their way to Marchesa, where wheat is bringing one dollar and a quarter a bushel for hauling." The yotfng man .was dismissed, and the manager, turning to the old clerk, said: "My friend, you see now why the younger man was promoted over you." Queer Document One of the queerest documents In the office of the county judge is a will on a piece of unpalnted plank. It was a part of the wall. On a bed by the wall the man named John O'Brien died, but before he died he wrote on the plank in pencil these words: "Mrs. Arnold, God bless her, shall have all I leave." He left $300. The will is probably the most unhandy document to file in all of Duval coUnty.--Florida Times-Union. There is only one duty a man cannot escape from: It is his duty to die, and make room for another* and he always does It Men Wetj Frantic to Get Them rat Children Cried for Them. During the recent small-pox scare Is Washington one apothecary sold l*MJ80i "vaccine points" within tWftnty^fdiiri hours. On a Friday, when the general; \ fright was greatest,the supply gave out '0 •' Physicians telegraphed in every ; tion for points. In the ferred to a big crowd was toittojfff *,» ; small quantity arrived and the-' pdhpist'!' '• scrambled for<|hem. The scene was ar" most extraordinary one. Holding theirpv% money in their hands over their heads, ;.rl men, women and children struggled ^ like anxious bettors at a race-track, '-f / One would have supposed that their*- lives depended on procuring the points*/" of which there were not nearly enou®hf*i; /f to go round. , ,? < "Here's my money!" yelled one "•» ' ' "You promised me four points terday!" cried a woman. - ^ "I'll pay you a dollar apiece for si* i points!" shouted another man. evident- ; ly the anxious father of a family. £k In one day of the scare the apothecary *»»- said that he had made more moneyF' than he had ever made in two days out' of his business. Somebody came 'to^ him and offered to buy out his entire f stock of points at the figure he charged,; 1 i; for them retail. The druggist refused, *' / because tiieie was reason to believe m* attempt was befrig made to corner that- "y supply. ^ ' v ' \ A well-known physician In town as-1- J* certained that a patient of his pes- ' sessed an extra vaccine point. He wentv\ and begged it of him. One little col-# :; ored boy called at the Emergency Ho»-> . pital and asked, with tears in his eyes* 'l,- to be vaccinated. "You go and get one of those things,** / said the surgeon in charge, "and I'll : vaccinate you." • The boy went to the apothecary and^ * begged a vaccine point Then he re- . turned to the hospital and was rated upon.--Washington Star. ify NOT A BRIDAL PARTY. * Experience of an Animated InterrO" , . aation Point from Massachusetts, '"p They were wandering up and down?\'s; the waiting room of the Grand Cen* 1 tral station, • and neither seemed in-f clined to talk much, although from thejQ,^; glances they occasionally bestowed up*, 0 on one another it was plain that theret < was a degree of, relationship exist- y |ng between them. Suddenly the young,'J man left the young woman's side ami- crossed to the news-stand, where he^ t ' purchased a paper. Returning he con-' .' ducted his companion to a seat. ?VrC Hardly were they seated before one those Inquiring Individuals who must ^ talk to somebody placed himself in ttal§3f| pext seat and eyed them Inquisitively,' to their visible annoyance. He coukt • not curb his propensity to talk, and : thus began: * , r . /'Strangers in the city?" /'Yes," said the man, shori|lyV{, . "Takinga tralitf«r was |#e next puery. "Yes.' % $ A woman with m ShawI ob alwayi looks motherly., . 0 , ̂ "Maybe you are going my way;" con-| tinued he of the inquiring turn oft : mind. ^ "May be. We are going to Boston/* *Ah, you belong there?" • "I do," was the man's answer. "Fine city," went on the inquisitive one. "You don'.t See the papers tilled up with divorces and scandals there, aaf, , 1 you do here. I belong to Massachusetts^, 'P. myself; Worcester Is my, home, and a> divorce case or an elopement is a rar- • ' ity. You seem to have gone into mat* rimony recently?" looking at them pat* ronizingly. . ' "Rather," was the tired response. "Might I inquire your busines^W "Certainly. I am a detective." , '\Jf ( "On your honeymoon?" c "No," answered the detective, foldil..;^ ing up his paper. "I'm taking back W ' prisoner." ; "Why! you don't mean to say"--look* > 1 Ing at the woman in astonishment. "i do." : '$ "I thought she was your wife." "So she Is, and my prisoner. To you inquiry, she eloped with another A: man the day I married her, and IvV! tracked her here." yS' "And you are taking her back to jus^'i tlce." ^ "No, to marry her. I guess the job / wasn't properly done, so we're going tofe* do it over apiin." "Is she from Boston, too?* "No. From Worcester." • 1 "Oh!" The inquisitive rtratfi more.--New York Recorder. £.0 Necessary Precaution* ^ A few summers ago a crowded coaclv started for one of those excursions: ; which take place dally during the sea­ son in the English lake district Just': ft as a very steep descent was being ap-; proached the passengers heard thet.f. /i g u a r d s u g g e s t t o t h e d r i v e r t h e a d v i s a - . bility of putting the drag on and ap-* i " plying the brake. . "I'll try It to-day without" said the l dauntless Jehu. "Hold hard, ladies and gentlemen;" and forthwith, gath- ^ ering up his ribbons with the utmost!^ care, he started down the declivity at \ ; a pace which was not a little terrifying1; -> to a majority of tlja passengers. tf ^ "Have you a bit of chalk?" said one • solicitously to a pompous but nervous4 ̂ ,old gentleman. t "Chalk!" was the irritable reply. "Chalk, Indeed! What can you want with chalk at such a moment as tills?" V/-1 "Oh," was the mischievous answerr given in tones of sad coneern, "I was^ '" Just thinking that some of our legs and ;<5. arms are likely to be flying about be-y.; fore we reach the bottom of the hi!!, -'J and that It would be desirable for every^/ m a n t o m a r k H i s o w n f o r t h e p u r p o s e o f : identification." ' •; • ^ An Honor. - ' A puma which arrived not long; agog<|y at the London "Zoo" from South Amer- , >! ica has been accorded the name of"" ^ "Gladstone." Only on two occasions^ has this distinction been equalled--! ^ when the names of "Robert Lowe" and ^'-4.'*: "Stephen Cave" were given to a brace, ^5 of "four-footers." It iuay ue »uucu that at the "Zoo" the bestowal of a name, however well known, is looked . upon as a tribute of honor and distinct tion. .SS f*S- r:>' 1 The Cutpurse. F<»r several centuries the purse,#as always worn fastened to the girdle. A: cut purse got his name from the fact . that rather than take the time to looee^Vn the purse from the belt where it was ^ ' K>< secured by buckles, he cut the strap. If you want to save money, don't eat-, , anything. This advice Is impracUtafrv'V/.. fctej w Iscaostfood advfelk •: "'w":