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-*-4T ... "Ple«l8©sl VrMtk, *9 (Liberty S^awi W® Tmmta Win us and sua Fear Shall Awe." V( )L. 24 M'HENRY. ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1899. : NO. 32. jy[ê ei?j JWtiilealw. '£:K PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY BT '-ZL'r-V, K. GRANGER.-- < * --, OFFICE IN tHE NICHOLS BLOCK ; *wo Door# North Own ft Ctaapell's Store, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: One year (In advance) -- #180 |< Mot i»aul w'thin Three Months a u> Subscription* received tor three or six •Mmths in the same proportion. V V RATES OF ADVERTISING: We announce liberal rates for advertising IB the PJ.AIADKAI.KK, anu e'nieavor LO state them so plainly thai they will be leadily un- uerstjod. Tney are as follows: I Inca one year... .......... ... .. 6 00 8 lnchenone yaar. ... 10W J Inches one year .... ........... ..... 15 W J{ oolumn one year ......... ... ... So 00 ft Column one year.... ...... 6(100 1 Column one year ... .... 10K 00 One inch means the measurement of one inch down the column, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have the privilege i f chaining as often as they ehooae, wiibout extra charge. ttegular advertisers (rtienning those having •tenuing cards) will be entitled to insertion ot local notices at the rate ot 6 eeate per line eaeb week. All others vili be charged 10 eents per line the first week, and 5 cents per line for eaoh subsequent week. Transient advertisements wilt be charged at the rai,e of 10 cents per line, (nonpareil type, name as this is eft in) ihe llrat issue, »nd i cents per line tor subsequent issues,, Touts, an inch advertisement wwl cost ^l.OOyfor one week, 91.50 tor two weeks, !*.<*> for three weeks, and so 00. The PLAINDJBAEI* will be liberal in giving •ditorUt notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee *rom everybody seeking the use ot Us oolumna tor peouniary gain, «r All Foreign Advertising payable quar­ terly, maayauce. These terms will be strictly adhered to. BUSINESS CJAKDS. w. c. ANNERS. PRACTICAL WATCHMAKER. ~XWEST'MCHENRY. ILL. lUkir'S DRUB STOnB. O. H._GIL.LMOBS, ATTORNEY Prubate work ft specialty. Office in Kendall Block. Weodttock 111. J. f. OASB1, ATTORNEY and C»un*el&r at Law. Ofltoe in Joslyn's Block, Woodstock, 111, Spec­ ie! attention given to trial eases. KNIGHT & BliOWN. AaTOBNE* AT LAW, K0 Washing.on street, O a it ago, 111, FRANK Xj. S KfABl) COUNSELLUK AT LAW, suite 80--1W Clark etreet, Cluieago, 11L O. P. BABNKS, TTOBNBT, Solicit ir, and Counselor L Oolie1tions a specialty. Woodstock, HI. FRANK B. JAGKMAN, ATl'OnNEY ant Counselor ai Law. prompt and careful attention to all mat­ters leit in ui> liandn. JSloaey to loan. OtBce in Hoy block, Woodstoek, 111. xele^hone-- office, 56, residence, L9, 1 DAVID G. WELLS. M. D. PHYSICIAN AND 6UBGEOS. Offlie and re»i ence in Nichols Block, over the Fiaindealer office. Mclienry. Teieofione NO a PBS O. a. FEGERi, H. O. IOItNAND SURGBON, MoHecry, 111. Office at Residenoe. . B. A. E. AURINGBR, PHYSICIAN AND SURGBOA. Office in tbe Stroner building, one door west of A. P. lifter's store, West McHenry, 111. Residence, house formerly occupied by Dr. Osborne. Ail professional calls promptly attended to. W. P. ST. CLJIIlf, Justice of the Peace and Notary Public Meal Estate and Insurance, RUNDAI III* JOHN P. SMITH, Watchmaker Ac Jeweler MoHENRY. ILLINOIS. A FINE stock of Clocks, Watches and Jew* elry always on hand. Special attention |m to repairing fine watches. Give me JOHN P. BMITH. ' W. A.CRI8TY, «J«urtlee of the Peace. WEST MoHENRY, ILL. Special Attention paid to Collections. Will be in my Office over Evanson's Store, every Saturday and Monday, until further notice. H. C. IWEAI?* Justice of the Peace and General In­ surance Agent. Jnoluding Accident and Life Insurance. WBST MOHKWRT, ILU A. M. CHURCH, Watohiuaker and Jeweler ~ * No. 126 State Street, Chicago. Special attention given to repalrlog Fine watches an l Chronometers. «9* A Full Assortment of Goods in bis line. Raving bad srveral ye«rs •xperienne sell- teg farm and other sales. I now nail attention I* the fact that I feel like gettinga GREAT "HUMP" $ GEORGE #est Mchenry, ill.. --DEALER IN- DRUGS, ^ MEDICINES, PAINTS, TOILET ARTICLES. Pure Wines and Liquors far Medical Pur- ' poses, also Bottled Ale and Porter. i>efe»e>et)teftetefeteti The best brands of Cigars and Smoking and Chewing Tobacco always on hand. Physicians' Prescriptions Carefully Compounded. C. W. BESLEY. "West McHenry, Jan. 6, 1899. - myself ard sell ynr Arm sales eKeary as well as Lake Oo with a great in DETERMINATION Secessary to obtain trood results these clo«e mes, 1 am satlsiled that it requires tbe •nine VIGOR AND PUSH sell Farm Sales and be successful as It l<wi to chop wood or sell you a farm In Ar kaneas. either of which I am willing to do When called. Mo jt of vou will know that I have had and still have m-ch exverience selling just such goods and sto-k a.« you will rffnr at public auct on MiU spring. There- fore I sboul I t now their value and h"w to SBtat seiitng the ean-e tor tbe most money, ropping the art'cl* with the one that some, times pays his note, I am quite a rood bid der and *<m slwavs looking for bargains. I believe I can do more for you thau can tbe Others for the tan.e or less cost. If I did nrt feel suie of the above and was BO* In dead e%r»est and willing to try. on •hort notice, I would not bsso well equipped An alarm turned in by postal may reveal nnexpeoted results. Try Us a Couple of Times !f; Tour obedient aad unsystematic friend unsystemo T. V. 8 LOCUM, When the Days Begin to Lengthen The Cold begins to Strengthen, You Need More Warm Goods. We have tried to keep you posted on this Clothing business. Nearly three months more of winter. If you should need anything in an oveecoAT T HEM si Between now and April 1st, we will make you June prices. The reason you should look here for your Clothing is, that you can suit yourself best, because the assortment tot the largest. Our line of FOOTWEAR Is complete in Leather, Rubber and Felts. Get our prices, firing along your hands to be fitted out of our stock ot Gloves and Mittens. Onions per bushel 45c. 28 pounds Prunes $1/0, Potatoes per bushel 45c. 12 Oranges for 30c. Flour, Buckwheat, Graham and Corn Meal. r Yours for Trade in 1899, JOHN J. MILLER. West McHenry, 111. • mi# M* § gjufti' • Dutu or DRUGS and MEDICINES A rVLL Lillfx or' CHEMICALS. ' DYE STUFFS, Paints, Oils and Colors COHSTAWTL1 OH HAND. rcuuss or PATKNT MEDICINES, TOILET ARTICLES, Stationery and Druggists' Sundries. Physicians' Prescriptions ( Carefullyiromponnded by a Beglstered Pharmacist. D o*«o» »<• Tour Patrooace la respectfully solleited. ^ • -JULIA A. f ti'cf Jitter. » i • t • / r£et»rj/,Jll it r a ZD-A-ii-rsr Exxioxji^sxoisrs TO €AbZFORJSXA Through first claw sad Tourist Sleeping Cars to points in California eud Oregon every day in the year vi^the Chicago, Union Pacific and Norfh-W3stern Line Personally Conducted Excursions Every Thursday. LOWEST RATES SHORTEST TIME ON THE ROAD FINEST SCENERY. Ooly rout* by which you can leav« homo any day in the week and travel in tourist can on fastest trains all the way. For pamphlets and information inquire of nearest agent. Dr. Walter C Besley, DENTIST WEST McHESRV, <Moe over Rosier VI Wood*twk Office Drug Store. | Kendall Dental Parlors. Will be at McHenry office Mondays and Turadays At Woo-istock offir* Wednesdays, Thurs dajs, Ft loaf* and Maiuvdays. KXAM1NAT10X8 FREE, OR. BAECHLER DENTIStT Brill Wort, Plata Work and everything par* tatning toJ>enti»try. Parties from a dtst*a«e sbould drop a card ft any or two betore coming. Office. McHenry, C. F. BOLEY, ProDrielor 8f McHenry Bnery, McHENRV, ILL. Ahttayt on Band with the Beet Beer SMOKERS I When ii Want of a Good Cigar "CALL AT BARBIAN BROS, Ctjrur and THB OLD RBUABLK Tobacco Dealers OUR SPECIALTIES: Our Monogram, 10c. Barbian'sBest hand made 5c The best cigars made. Sold by all local dealers. J PERRY & OWJSN, Bankers, McHenry. - - Illinois. This Bank receives deposits, buys and sella Foreign and Domestic Exchange, and does a General Banking Business We endeavor to do all business en­ trusted to our care in a manner and upon terms eutirely satisfactory to our cus­ tomers and respectfully solicit the public patronage. MONEY Tp LOAM On Real Estate and other first clasp •security. Special attention given to collections. INSURANCE In First Class Companies at the Lowest Sates. Yours Respectfully, PERRY & OWEN Notary Pub BARGAINS IN ROBES AND BLANKETS. FOR THE RET , 20 DAYS CUS CARLSON, A.t his Harness .Shop, near tbe Red Bridge, will sell his entire stock of Robes and Blankets at Cost for Cash. We hare the finest stock in this line to be found in McHenry County, and we must close them out. They are all big b <rgains and I mean just what I say. Also on hand 'ta line line of stasis & BGUBLE HARNESS Which will be sold cheapo BHTAIRING Promptly Attended to Do not fail to call at once and get the benefit of our bargains. CUS CARLSON McHenry. 111., Jan. 18. 1899. PAV IF YOU'RE PLEASED 30 DAYS AFTER SHIPMENT; IF NOT. RETURN. NO MONEY WANTED IN ADVANCE. With every-Quaker Kitchen Cabinet we geml, free, a copy of "The Ev- e rv - Day Cook Book," containing 315 pages of tlie most practical re- clpes ever com­ piled, substantially Donnd In cloth. The top of cabinet Is 27 Inches by 42 _ Inches: heltrtit. 30 Inches; has two metal-bottom bins, one holding 5(> lbs.; the other partitioned for corn-meal, Krahain, etc.: one large drawer: one bread board, which slides into frame. Price, complete, only $5. on board ears in Chi­ cago, with the cook book free. Pay I11 SO days if yon Una the Cabinet the most useful, labor-saving piece of kitchen furniture you ever saw; If not entirely pleased, return at our expense. No deposit, no fruaranty re­ quired from any reliable person. In ordering be sure to say voi' ' ant--and B. Order QUAKER VALLEY MFG. CO., 355 W. Harrison 8t., Chicago. p. s.--Genuine Quaker Valley furniture is never gold through retailers--always from factory to flresjde at wholesale prices. Dou't accept a worthless liultaflon. Kitchen work d from any rename person. 111 oraermn ne suie • you're a reader of this paper--this Is very Import- und that you accept our Kitchen Cabinet Offer No. rder to-day; or. send for illustrated circular No. 8. Wanted-An Idea Who am think of aome simple thing to patent? Protect jour Ideas; they may bring you wealth Write JOHN W£T>DEEBDRM ft CO . Patent Attor BBFOBB AID AFTBB TKBATMBNT. You KNOW flow IT IS YOCBSKLF. VERY ILL. Name, oh, doctor! name yoor feel Ask , I'll pay what'er It be! Skill like yoaro, I know comes high: Only do not let me die; Get me oat of this, and I Cash will ante, instantly! CONVALESCENT. Cat, ob, doctor; cnt that fee; Cat, or not a dime from me; I am not a millionaire, But I'll do whatever's square; Only make a bill that's fair, A.nd I'll settle presently. WKLIA Book, obi doctor: book your tee! Charge --, I'll pay it futurely, w hen the crops all by are laid, When every other bill is paid, (Or when of death again afraid) I'll pay it gradgiDgly. St. Louis Medical Journal 8ea Power Eu»tlU to Oreatnes*. Capt. A. T. Mahan. of the United States Navy, and one of the members of our Strategy Board in our recent war with Spain, says in his mach quoteti «ork oa Sea Power, which has given him Jeservedly world eminence: "lfsea power be really based npon peaceful and extensive commerce, apti- -ude for commercial pursuits mast be a distinguishing feature of the nation* ' hat have at one'time or another been .treat upon the sea. History, almost vithout exception, affirms this is true.-- <ave the Romans, there is no marked in- tance to tbe contrary. This utterance euiinates from a man (rained all of his life in the naval pro ession, a wonderful observer and a keen student of the great forces, upon the snr- t'ace and underlying!, national power, and vith a felicity of expression that has car •ied conviction wherever his works hav< v>pn r«ad. The United States possesses a great commerce--only one-third a? <reut per capita, however, as Great Britain's. The latter nation has no ucli sources upon which to draw to sup­ ply the wants of mankind the world over ts we have. Did the people of Great Brit­ ain, with their commercial and maritime ustinct, possess our resources, we ma; »ell wonder how infinitely greater even 'ban'it is would her present sea power be But if is not for r latnees BO much a tor defense, as a raource from which to >ack up our navy with able ships and trained men, that we need a merchant shipping and seaman and firemen. We 10w have a foreign commerce approxi nating to two billions of dollars in valup ind likely, a decade hence, to be at least lalf as large r gain. We shall then havt nore to defend, and shall it be no mor< GO defend it with than we now have? •Shall we drain the nation of its gold, or he equivalent, for the paymeut of freight to foreign ships, or shall we use our own strips, owned and manned by oar own citizens, and thus keep oar money at home to employ our own people? Moat Common Questions About Mtitrto Thirty years ago when I was teaching * class of sixty pupils in Kockford, 111., I thought myself an oracle. At present I fix no laws, no rules, but merely answer questions as indicating my own opinion. But I am very sure that my opinion to- Jay is far nearer absolute truth than it «a8 thirty years ago. Youth and suc­ cess all eJ are more given to mistakes than ard experience and riper years. Old people for counsel and yooug folks tor war, will hold good in theology, law, medicine, music or any other profession. 1 am asked what are the best nieaas and cbe best time for proper development of ihe voice? Again couies in that best of nil human traits commonly called good aorse sense. No one answer should be donsidered an infallible solution of the question. Almost any age is the right ,joe to pursue voice culture if surround- itig conditions be favorable. I have taught vocal music in private lessonr ind in classes in Evanston, Elgin, Rock ford, Chicago and many other towns in Illinois, and I never in two instances tound tbe same rules for practice equally jiniiHcab!*. This tslk of up is dstt .aiethodf, ballooning young voices, Bel- aart and other razzle-dazzle nonsonse may attract on account of novelty, but «ill they bear the light of close inspec­ tion. Novelty is all right if it can be -thown to be improvement, but we have proved in several cases that tbe latest ie sometimes more a child of speculation than advancement, t'bere are no better methods for voice culture than those given out by Baasini, Franz, Abt, Fred Root and Lablacbe. The^e are all recog­ nized standard masters of voice culture, but of course not the only ones. These four appear to agree in several essential points, among them this fundimental principle.' Begin by laying a safe founda tion. Fiist develop the lower or chest register, no matter whether you expect to sing Soprano, Alto or Mezzo, Bass, Baritone or Tenor. One prominent abuse of the voice is to sing too long and too forcibly on the high notes Cultivate a round, steady, sonorous tone upon the lower register of your voice first, thuslaying a solid foundation upon which joo may safely build higher afterwards. These, remember, are merely tbe opinions, suggestions and advice of high musical authority. Take them for whiit they are worth. R D SCOTT. offer l FOR LA GRIPPE. Thos Whitfield & Co., 240 Wabash Av. corner Jackson St., one of Chicago's old­ est and most prominent druggists, rec­ ommend Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for la grippe, as it not only gives a prompt and complete relief, but also counteracts any tendency of la grippe to resnlt in pneumonia. For sale by J. A. Story. Call and see onr new stock of 8b<rts, just received. They are all of tbe latest styles and will be sold at reasonable SlMOX STOFftt* RINaWOOD. A. L. Francisco was at Woodstock ^on Saturday. lire. Dwelly has been spending several days with friends in Chicago. Miss F. A. lngalls came up from Elgin Tuesday and returned Thursday. Mrs. Carr, Mrs. Bell and Mrs. Water­ men are much improved at this writing. 4 combination churn and butter work­ er has been put in the Farmers Factory. #. E. Cristy is a delegate to the State Camp, M. W. A , at Springfield, this week. J. Bateman, who has been working for Mr. Hess the past season, left for Chi­ cago Saturday. Miss Mabel Stevens returned tbe first of the week, Mrs. Sherman being mach improved. The Ladies Aid Society will mett with Mrs. Francisco Thursday afternoon, Feb 9,1899. Mrs. Clara B. Allen, of the W C. T. U., will be at the M. E. Church Thursday evening, Feb. 16. Miss Earle and Miss Walters, of He­ bron, spent Sunday with Miss Mattie J>welly. Mrs. J. W. Carr and daughter, of Spring Grove, were calling on Kingwood friends Saturday. Mrs. Rich will be out of town most of the time till March 1st, she having gone to assist her daughter; Mrs. Hess, on the ^While working in the barn C. W. Harri­ son had the misfortune to fall, bruising one of his knees quite severely, bat is i^le to be about. Word was received last week that Mrs. perry Smith, of Gray's Lake, was dead, *the funeral having been held on Sunday, Ian. 22. Mrs. Smith lived in this village for several years and leaves many friends .whose sjuvpathies are with Mr. Smith in fits hour of sorrow. ^""tfext week will be "'My busy day. Make it short" as far as Hingwood is concern­ ed. Following is the program:] Monday, F«o. 13-->v ash women's Day. Tuesday, Feb 14--St. Valentines Day. Wednesday, Feb. 15--F. Hess' Sale. Thursday, Feb. 16--Mrs. t'lara Allen at M. E Church. JFriday, Feb. 17--Church Fair, Saturday, Feb. 18--W. A. Dodge's Sale The ladies of Ringwood will hold their Church Fair in Drake's Hall, Friday -ifternoon and evening, Feb. 17. Articles too numerous to mention will be for Bale ind each reader of this is cordially invit­ ed to partake of a chicken pie supper, md also to extend an invitation to all fiends. An excellent supper will be serv ed for 25 cents at any time from 5 to 9 o'clock. A good program is being pre­ pared and will appear next week. On Wednesday evening we had the pleasure of listening to Horace Huron. Although the evening was quite cold Woodman Hall was filled. The program *as begun at 8 o'clock. The male quar­ tette rendered the first number which »a« heartily encored. After the second song C. W. Harrison, V. C., of Camp 597, introduced Neighbor Huron as "The Fun Mskfr of ths Muuorii Woouujou Oi Auief- ica," and be has a perfect right to tbe name. For more than two hours he car ried his audience with him. Neighbor Huron's address on Woodcraft was good and his illustrations were decidedly to the point. Are you a Woodman? If not *hy not? There are more than 88,000 In Illinois alone. Lock at the rpcnrd for 1897 with but 10 assessments; 1898 follows with the same number, and now •omes 1899 with no assessment for Feb­ ruary. No man will deny the advisabil­ ity of carrying protection. The only questionJlis which is the cbeapest and best In the words of a revivalist "Why procrastinate longer? Now is the accept* edtime. To-morrow may be everlast­ ingly too late." VNUNDA. Miss Mable Pbilp visited the Dundee public echool last Friday. C. Wandrack, of Algonqain, was seen on our streets Monday. W. P. St Clair was a Woodstock Yis- itor last Monday. Miss Maggie McNisb is very sick with La Grippe and inflamation of the lungs Attorneys Coon and Barber, of Ma- -engo, were Woodstock visitors Monday last. R. Tongdon died Saturday morning last after some weeks illness. Funeral services attended Monday afternoon at the M. E. Church. Tbe revival meetings, are still being carried on in both the churches here. It is hoped much good may be accom­ plished. Mr. White, of South Bend, Ind., the vangi'list singer, is still with the Christ­ ian Church here aiding in the revival meetings, wbich adds much to the inter- flHt of the mes tings. James Picberd, living in the town of Algonquin, was taken ineanelast Friday night and attacked some of the family and seriously cut his brother with a knife. After some difficulty he was over­ come and tied. Saturday morning he was taken to Woodstock and given a hearing and judged insane, ife was taken to Elgin Saturday afternoon. BIG PETROLEUM SPRING GROVE. Nick Freund has had a check room placed In his hall here. Mrs. Emma Imerson is very poorly at present. 0 The Royal Neighbors, of this place, held a dime social at the home of Mrs. Robert Turner on Monday night. Eddie Carey has been very ill but is now on the gain. Grip is monarch here as in other local­ ities. but in most cases his victims are recovering. John Baker accompanied bis sister-in- law. Mrs Jasper Baker to her home for a short visit. Mrs. Robert Esh and Mollie Turner were Richmond visitors last Widnesday. John Spears is suffering from a severe attack of lung trouble, and a little child of .Tos. Norton's is fatally ill with pneu­ monia. THE PESINI MAGAZINE, New York, which is tbe lowest priced magazine in America (2ft cents a year), and which is owned by Hon. Chauncey M. Depew, the eminent American orator, wants a rep­ resentative in this vicinity. It is a good opportunity for one of our, ambitious young men or young women. Applica­ tions should be addressed to tbe Sun- SCRIPTION DEPARTMENT, THS PENNY M vGAZlNE, Temple Coart, New York City. '•P*n Bids Fair to Without Oct As Is known, competition between , the American and Russian petroleum* says a German paper, is very keen la the petroleum markets of Eastern. Asia --a condition of affairs rendered still more acute by the steadily growing petroleum industry of Java and Sam* atra. Japan has also entered the list of petroleum producers recently, and the demand for the home article Is steadily increasing, although America and Russia still import about 6,000,000 yen annually. The petroleum districts of Japan reach from Hokkaido to Akl- to in the north, and throughout the en­ tire length of the Provinces Echigo and Shinano as far as the Province Toloml. Sixty drills have already been set up and twenty-eight more will soon be ready for operation. The method of drilling has been largely improved; while formerly drillers did not venture beyond a depth of 200 feet, they risk at present 800 and more; the methods of refining have also been improved, essentially. The largest markets for the Echigo petroleum are Hokkaido, Shinana and the northern provinces of Yezo. A syndicate similar to tbat of the Standard Oil and the Russian trust is in process of forming for the pur­ pose of improving the industrial pur- ; suits, and it is also expected that, when formed, efforts will be made to gain the Eastern market for the ex­ port of the Japanese petroleum* , , •ard Tack For Fiona. > « f S One rainy night in Cuba four rougn J riders had gathered under a tree for shelter. They had had nothing to eat all day and were sympathizing With : one another over their ill-fortune. "It's tough luck," said one, "bat we'll just have to grin and bear It. 1 am about starved all tbe same. A trooper from one of the "Western companies happened to be passing the s tree, and he heard the last remark. Going up to the speaker he slapped him on the back and opening his : blouse pulled out some hardtacks. "Sorry yer in sich tough luck, p&rd,* he said. "I ran in a streak of luck to­ day and got ten hardtacks. Here, you take half of 'em." "Thanks, old manr was the grateful rejoinder. "I'll only take four. I guess that will do." As the Westerner walked off the other rough rider turned around and gave each of his companions a hard­ tack. The next morning the Western man was surprised to receive a visit from Col. Roosevelt, aad still more sur­ prised when the Colonel thanked him for the hardtack he had given kiss tin night before. ; ; />. To the Point. A few years ago, in one of tbe southern towns of New York State, a •/ man died who bad not led a very good life, says Truth. His family Insisted that a sermon be preached at the fu- neral, however, and all due respect paid to tbe dead man's memory. No minister in town would officiate, as all were seemingly engaged. However, a retired elder, rich and kindly hearted, agreed to attend. The house was filled with neighbors, all rough and mostly < ignorant. A short prayer was offered and a hymn sung, then the elder, fold­ ing his hands In front of him, began: "My friends, if this man was a bad man I have said too much; if a good man, I have said enough. Let us pray.* ' * -- , i * 1 Great Bend-Off For the Sac. Never did the "American Hog** re* ceive so grand a tribute as in the quar­ terly report of the Kansas board of agriculture. The secretary says that the hog is a "debt payer," a "mortgage lifter," and a "buttress of prosperity." Moreover, "high-class swine are un­ known and impossible among low- class people. Kansas swine, coinage of Kansas grain and brain, met at Chi­ cago in 1893 the world beaters, and beat them." Marked copies of the re­ port containing this eulogy of the American pig should be sent' editor in Madrid. • -;S £nlniwcl Kjllfco* Wat As*?*. Under the rather startling bead of "Gone to the Devil!" a Greenville (Miss.) paper edited by a colored man who is radically opposed to cake walks, says: "The white people al­ lowed the negroes the use of the opera house to practice for their cake walk, and they went from cake-walking to crap-shooting. So the white people have burnt them out. A short horse is easy to curry; so are some : Entitled to the JaM. "I feel like a shop with a clearance sale," groaned Tommy, as he ap­ proached from the direction of the pantry, the immediate surroundings of his mouth being a suspicious dark red. "What's the matter, my <tearf* * "Jam inside." ' Mo Confidence In Her Own Cook!m$> "Eleanor, when we are married, wtB you love me well enough to cook for me*. * "Yes, dear Henry, but yon will have to hire somebody else to do tkf Cook? ing."--Detroit Free Press. J :i Handreda of Millionaire*. There re hundreds of milUonsztss in Russia whose fortunes are in the shape of vast domains containing gold and silver of Incalculable value, but which have never been developed. ' 1 • It WM Baey. "How could you muster the courage to knock uiat "burglar senseless witfc the potato masher?' they asked "I just shut my eyes and ii •Wr;: J?.'