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t,' ' * « I I . . " ijSff V,.MlWV •; • * - ".i. '1'" - '"f --y-»4>. ---- ; *-- .Hi. |- .1." ••:•>! •>' "">• "Pledged but to Truth, to Llbertya»d L«w| No Favors Win us »nd no Fear Shall Awe." y . . . . rx:" X VOL. 24. * y - ' ; : % j j M'HENRY^ J^LINOIS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1 , 1899. " NO. 35. - * 'V £eQeirj Jkialeikr. Published Eveby Wednesday m - IP, K. GRANGEB.- K ? * h ^ * v , «mct IN THE NICHOLS •LOCK "* ? Xwo Doors KorthXHran * Chapell*a Stora, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPT!OI«: " tlM y«w tf » advance) W J® If Sot P»i«l vithit Three Month* *J» bubecrlptionu reeatved tor three or six • w i n t h e s »me proportion. BOO 10 00 10 uu woo 60 00 100 00 RATES OF ADVERTISING: *-'» We announce liberal rates for advertising lathe Pum^diuu-kh, ana sn iecvor to state th^m so plainly mat they wiu M teaaiiy an. -a«ret>oa. Tnuy are as fallows: I Jnca one year... ... § Inches una y»ar. ...»»* -» • Inches one year .... , U ilolumu one >ear .tW;-.. Ji Column one year.... < i^Dolonin one year . One inch means the measurement of one Won aown tue column, single coluinn width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have tl»e privilege >I changing as often »s (hey 'efcooae, without eitra charge. ttegnlar advertUere (meaning those having Standing cards) will be entitled to insertion ot local notices at the rate of 6 cents per line «*eh weeft. Ail others <mi be charged 10 eents per line the ttrst, week, and 5 cents per llite tor eaoh eubBKiu'ni week. ^Transient advertisements will be charged at the raie of 10 cents per ilne, (nunpsreu type, Mullens this iB art in) >he ttrut issue, »no S ecnis per itne tor subsequent issues. Thus, an inctt advertisement wiii cost tl.Oo for one week, #l.5<> tor two weeks, •*,<« Ut three treess, and so on. I'he PLAiNUaiALBR Will be liberal in giving eduorUl nonces, but, as a business rule, It will require a suitable fee trom everybody ••eking the use of Its columns lor pecuniary gain, *#- AU Foreign Advertising payable quar­ terly, in auyauoe, K *hes« terms will be strictly adhered to. 3# BUSINESS OABDtfe o. u. «lL,LMOa«. • " A TTOR1ET Probate work a »peo»lty. A- Office in Kendall Block, H cod took 111. * * J. f. 0A9B1, ATTORNEY" and (Jaunkoloi at Law. OHoe in Joslyn's Block, Woodstock, III, bpee-in( attention given to trial eases. J U S T E N The Reliable : Furniture Dealer ^ KNIGHT ABBOWK. . , a 1 TORNKif AT law, ho Washington Jcp. street, Oaicago. In. • FK1NK U. 8 KPARD . Vhoussbll r at l.%.w, suits so--1* 1^4^ ClatJt e treat, Uiaongo, lit. O. P. BARNK4. A rTORNE Y, Solicit ir, and Count el or ^HL Ooiie iions a speoialty. ffoodsiosk, lit. DAVID G. WELLS. M. D, V.HYS1CIAH AND SUBGEOS, Offi.e and f-. re i 6uc6in Nichols Hlocfct over ofloe« Mctiwry* a the Te.oartono a M. FBGBR*. M. D. IlHTSICI \H AND SURGEON, MoHfWty. . J; m. - omoeat Resldenoe. • R. A. E. AUR1NUB&, V PHYSICIAN ASD SUliGEOit. Office in the Stroner butldln*, one door west of A. P. lifter s etor«, We8 MoHenry, 111. Heaidenctg byUSJt occu IwC* t)j iilal profese tonal call a promptly attended to. W. A. CRI8TY» Jurtloe of the Peaoe* g% } WEST MoHENRY, ILL. . ^ ' Special Attention paid to OolleotioM. y Will be in tny Office over Evansoi's Store, •Very 8a urdar and Monday, until further H*tice. H. C. MEADft f Juaticc of the Peace and General Jn- ' twrance Agent. Including Accident • - # and Life Insurance. _ WBBT MOHEWBT. III. • > ! A. M. CHURCH, ^Htohmskerand Jeweler No 126 Mate Street, Chicago. ^fipeelal attention given to repairing Flee Watches an » Chronometers. , A Fnll Assortment ot Goods in his line* C. F, BOLEY, Prssrieior of McHeary Brverf, McHENRT, ILL. Atwaj/e on Band with $• % , Bent Beer Dr. Walter C DENTIST WEST MoHE^RV, c* nver Be'ley'S I Woort»t ic.k Office D>'<lg'^ rKeBu#li Deuini Puriors. - will be at McBenry office Mondays and ;«$ufsdays -r At Woo'stock office Wednesdays, Than I dajs, Fitdav" ard Haturdays, 7 KXAMIMATlOKS FREE.. , * : faring hail srventl ye^rs »xt»erlen«,e *ell- in«r f»rm and other sales. I now nail ftttenticn ,fo the fact thit 1 feel like getting a f G R E A T " H U M P " iy mvMitf sni) mh yojr fanr sates M«Henry as well as LakeOo with a great DETERMINATION f y^~ H ,*Jleoessary to obtain rood results these olo»e times, i am satisfied that it require* the fV; VIGOR AND PUSH •v,'"-' W° 88" Wa-m 9a"es and be snenes'fal as it f,: v-jSflees to enop wood or sell you a farm In Ar Kansas, either of which I am willing to ar i4/, . %h*n c*ll»d. M^*t of von will know th»t I s 2|iave h»d snd still have nr ch exnerience • f'lms just suoh goodg and elo«k a.i you will « ff^r at public auct on tbi-? sprir g. There fc'tore I shoull ' now their value and h" w te i'. - StetatseUlnic the s*ire tor tne most money, -inopping the article with the «ne <h«t sen*. ; t'mas p%ys his note, T am qul'e a vood bid 'ML, «er an*! -m alwave looking for tmrgai s. 1 . believe I can do more for you thau can the i *Others for the parte or less cost, -i' j-4; If I did not feel su ic of the above and was • Hotin<le»<t e* nett and willing to try, re notice, I would not be so well equipped An alarm turned in by postal may reteal v Vtoeexpected results. Us a Couple of Times our obedient awl unsystematic friend ww™-* .71-v' SLOCU»' GEORGE W. WEST MCHENRY, ILL., 1 *j[ J ^ . . . : i ' ' *>-.« i'*** >•, ' \ ' A'." ,-IJJE. ( * ;••• DRUGS. M E D i c i K i f e s ; ; i , : , - ... PAINTS, TOIl_ET ARTICLES^ ' v,-'..; . . . • -"{{(in?' Pure Wines ami Liquors for Medfiat Pitt* poses, also Bottled Ale and Porter. & V:.^A •£ i ' mm bert brands of Cigars and Smoking an(i Chewing Tobacco always on hand. Physteiass' Prescriptions Carefully Cempounded. C . W . B E S L E Y . i eet McHenry, Jniw S, M'J9. mWbi -•> e » »• 4-sh lasi^ i; ' e yi <in»' rrA" * a 4,' m Kiimtrn; » v^"" I •• _ still be found at his old sttnd, four doors north of thor -, Bank of McHcnry,4 with a full stock of furniture of all kinds, * &• to which he invites the attention of the buying public. £ ']jit f • .isSggi _ . ' A. ' Parlor and Bed Room Setni*?f j Lower than the same goods can be bought anywhere in the county. In short, I WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD on any class of Furniture, quality of goods considered. Call and see me when in want of anything in my line. . [. •- ii.. < . 4" * Jt \ & 4- «( ' * ' 4fr If , A' ** "J vf; &W •>-' - GAHEY A FULL LINE Of«P Caiakets, Coffins, Burial Robes, JEtp- We guarantee first class work in every respect. . • Call and seb me before purchasing. T A n n n T r r A W i r tliiwlj JUDlciiN* McHenry, flL^ Sept, fi p®8. • • " s, miu " ' ' " ' L ir 11 0tm • o Dion n; DRUGS and MEDICINES • ruu Lira or t CHEMICALS. DYE.STUFFS, t f rr"rr Paints, Oils and Colors ooniuni on bams.' ~Z rvuuitt or FATC4T MKOICIME8, TOILIT ARTICLES. Stationary and Druggists' Sundrlas.' Rffispns' PMcriptionslasisjMsfsaa^' • ' Toar PitrMtge IS respeetfnily solicited. . v ; ' - j i i j * * i t j Heer f «xf ZDJ^JJLrsr S3XOURSIONS 55F3: ̂ rough first clew and Tonrist Sleeping Cars to points In California Jui * ' and Oregon every day in the year via the Chicago, Union Pacific and North-western Lino Personally Conducted Excursions , iy -H} -;•» w • Every Thursday. ' . LOWEST RATES r ^^'^SHORTEST TIME ON THE RpAlJ,/5' ' " J®! *• • FINEST SCENERY. • .. M C/tiTv roul« hv which you can leave boron any day in the tree* and tmvel Ti tourist cAra on fastest trains all the way. For pamphlets and information inqnlr* of nearest agent. JjSil : -»w 1,' 1 Ju. ?J*, .v «*,.' z&j. DR. BAECHLER DENTISTF Plata,Work and everything oer- talning toOent'airy. ?»rtl«s from a diBUooe should drop a o' rd a day ot two before odfeiag. Qffloe. MoHenry. SMOKERS 1 Vki jlaatofaMCip! t :*' CALL XT » v, SERBIAN BRUS Cigar and TBS OLD BBLutLft j Tobacco Dealers. OUR SPECIALTIES: Our Monogram, 10c. Barbian's Best hand made 5c The beet Marars made. Sold by aitioca1 dealers. I! 11;as< MEET & OTOT. Bankers, MoHIMRT. ILLIS0I8. This Bank receives deposits, buys and sells Foreign and Domestic Exchange, and does a General Banking Basinets We endeavor to do all business en­ trust*! to our care in a manner and upon terms entirely satisfactory to onr cus­ tomers and respectfully solicit the public patronage. MONEY TO LOAIC On Real Estate and other first claw security. Special attention given to collections. ~ * • IN8URANC1$ ' In First Class Companies at the Lowest Bates. Yours Respectfully, FERRY & OWEN. Notary Public BARGAINS IN ROBES AND BLANKETS FOR THI'WEXr 801 DAYS C U S C A R L S O N , At his Harness Shop, near the Red ^Bridge, will sell his entire stock of Robas and Blankots at Coot for Cash.j We haw the finest stock In this tine to be found in McHenry County, and Wf must close t hem out. They are all big bargains and I mean just what I say. Also on hand a fin< line of SINGLE & DOUBLE HARNESS ^ |)g an||) _ BEPAIRING Promptly Attenued to tfbo not fail to call at once and^get the benefit of our bargains. CUS :CARL80NZ atcSeory, 111., Jan. 18. 1899. J. W- BONSLETT, " ' f RIpnnlDtrig I O o n t r a o t o r . ill PROMPTLY ATTENDED 10 Has just received I *j#ry oom- plete stock of Plumbing Goods, Bath Tubsv Closets* Lavatories and Fixtures. Steaa and lot Vatar Heating. Complete stock of all sizes Galvanised and Block Pipe and Fittings on hand. Office and Show Room in Jacob Bon slett's Agricultural Implement Building, McMENRY. IUU PAV IP YOU'RE PLEASED 30 DAYS AFTER SHIPMENT; IF NOT, RETURN. NO MONEY WANTED IN ADVANCE. With eve rj Quaker 1 KltchenCablnet we semi, free, a copy of "The Ev­ ery- Day Cook J Book." containing 315 pages of tlie most practical re­ el pes ever cotn- glletl, substantially o u n (1 In cloth. The top of cabinet to 27 Inches by 12 w Inches; height. 3U Inches; has two mc-tal-boftom Wns, one holding 50 lbs.: the other partitioned for corn-meal, graham, sugar, etc.: oni' targe drawer; one bread board, which slklt* Into frame. Price, complete, only $5, 011 board cars Hi Chi­ cago, with the cook book free. Pay In S) (lavs If yon flhd the Cabinet the most useful, 'labor-saving piece of kitchen furniture you ever saw if not entirely pleased, return at our expense. No deposit, no guaranty re- fjuired frora any reliable person. In ordering be sure to say you're a reader of this paper--this is very import­ ant--and shut you accept our Kitchen Cabinet Offer No. 8 Order today; or, send for illustrated circular No. 8. Ol'AKKE YALLKT MFG. CO., 355 W. Barriaon St., Cbicago. P. 8.--Genuine Quaker Valley furniture Is never sold through retailers--always from factor}' to fireside at wholesale prices. Don't accept a worthies* imitation. A PUBLIC NUISAN€E. that!* Wlpt the Tipping PhMm Has Become. If there is one public nuisance which demands Immediate and final abate­ ment it is the tipping evil. From an Insignificant beginning it has grown into proportions truly formidable, and Invades nearly every rank and profes­ sion in life. If not directly, through an intricacy of red tape which but serves to glaze its real repulslvenes?. The practice is said to have origin­ ated in cheap London inns, where shrewd customers paid the venal wait­ er a small gratuity with an implied contract that their fare should be bet­ ter than that of their neighbor. It was next taken up by the higher Classes, and, sharply touching avarice, one of the most powerful and suscep­ tible of human passions, quickly made its convenience felt to those who could afford it. But the worst feature of the custom has developed lately. So prev­ alent has tipping finally become that the recipient of such largess takes it purely as a matter of course, and many public institutions pay their em­ ployes miserly salaries, with the ex­ pectation that they shall bleed the pa­ trons for the deficit. This they accomplish in a manner disgusting and humiliat ing to the latter, subjecting them to impudent and even insulting treatment if the usual tip is not forthcoming, and when it Is be­ stowed, frequently receiving It with an air of -lofty condescension. The United States government has recog­ nized the existence of the custom, and effectively discouraged it by holdivg that persons on public service must ilp out of their private pockets if they wish to indulge, and that tipping shall henceforth be eliminated as an item of the expense bill. It Is earnestly to.be hoped that the public generally will profit by such A meritorious and sensi­ ble example, and discourage an evil which Is daily growing more repugnant and Inexcusable.--Atlanta Constitu­ tion. VERY EXPENSIVE SERMON. Fteh Very Nutritious. Is Ash a good article of food! fWith 41ie eczematous and athritic persons, in jwhose case it often brings on nettle Jrash, one may boldly reply In the affirmative. Tfiis. at any rate, appears to be the opinion of Parisians, who consume annually 28,000,000 kilo­ grammes of fresh fish, without reckon­ ing 8,000,000 or 9,000,000 kilogrnmmes of mussels, oysters and other shell fish. M. Balland, a distinguished chemist. In a note on the composition of a large "number of fish, has lately Justified his opinion by showing that fish is partic­ ularly rich in azote and in fat. According to the analysis made by M. Balland, the proportion of water U very variable, and ranges from 59 to 86 per cent. For instance, the shad, -the fregh-water eel, the mackerel and the salmon, which have from 15 to 20 per cent of .fat when fresh, have 66 to 74 per cent when dried. On the other hand, fish containing the least fat are the richest azote. The pike, the dab, the sole, the whiting, the cod, the tench and the perch, which have only from 8 to 10 per cent of fat when fresh, contain 93 per cent of azotic matter when dried. These fish contain as much azote as butcher's meat. Crustacea and molluscs contain less azote than fish. In short, fish are very nutritious for food, and can not be too highly recom­ mended. They constitute an almost in* exhaustible food resource by reason of the immense variety of the edible species. Ptenllu Oceupatioas. "There are all sorts of odd industries In southern California," jjpld a Los An­ geles man the other daj^ "The Chin­ ese are the boys to get onto the utility of gathering in these odds and ends of nature. They catch horned frogs and dry them for export to the celes­ tial empire, where they bring good prices for medicinal use. They also collect funny looking shellfish, which they send home after drying to be used as table luxuries, though American epicures would pass them up. One of the greatest favorites in this class is the abalone, which the Chinese hunt at low tide, but which ofttimes proves a dangerous quest. The hunters use a sharp-pointed iron bar to prize the shellfish away from its home of rock, to which it clings with tremendous tenacity. It has been known to happen that a too eager celestial, by making the endeavor solely with his hand, has had it caught by the abalone, and so strong was its grip that the Chinaman, unable to" extricate himself, was drowned by the incoming tide., Hakes Kitchen Work Easy. ^ouuUrt 01 cnoto* Prunes for fl at I ^ liar's West Side. Why the Ivy Orew. There is a wall I know on which the ivy grows," said Mr. Gozzleby, "where the leaves come green at first in a broad vertical band off at one side, and it was positively a year or two before, following that band with the eye up to the chimney that rose above It, from the edge of the roof, I realized that the chimney ran there behind the wall and It was the chim­ ney's warmth that made the ivy grow. "As in the spring they are the first to come, so, in the fall, the leaves along this band of vine are the last to go. The whole wall turns with the colors of autumn, and the leaves begin to fall, but those along the chimney go last of all, and when all the rest Is bare there may still be some leaves here, lingering yet around the ivy's hearthstone." : 4 t * Ir« Plain KatfK. According to his chef the emperor of Austria is very simple in his gas­ tronomic tastes. His breakfast con­ sists of coffee, bread, and cold meat; his dejeuner of two kinds of meat and \:y% It Cms One Van the Tidy of fa,800,000. Uttlo When the Rev. Frank W. Gunsanlus, D. D., now president of the Armour Institute of Technology, was pastor of Plymouth Church, he moved all Chi­ cago with his oratory. A young giant physically, with an unequaled power of poetic expression, he threw himself Into the affairs of the Lake City, and accomplished a world of good. In the six years of his service at Plymouth Church he raised something over $6,000,000 for institutions which he chose to aid as he found. He began a series of Sunday night addresses at Central Music Hall. In State •street, where the capacity of the great place was tested, and thousands were turned away long before the hour for the ad­ dress was at hand, and he founded a home for young boys of the street, than which there is no more flourish­ ing institution in the west to-day. The most interesting thing to be related of him is that he preached a rousing ser­ mon one Sunday at Plymouth in which he 'set forth in his finest manner the things that ought to be done for the young boys and girls of our generation. When he was through a member of his congregation. Philip D. Armour, the great pork packer, came forward, and taking him by th« hand, said: "Do you believe In those ideas yon just now expressed?" "I certainly do," said Dr. Gunsaulus. "And you'd carry them through if you had the means?" "Most assuredly." "Well, then,'" said Mr. Armour, "if you will give me five years of your time, I will give you the money." The result was that Armour Iuptl- tute was founded, with Dr. Gunsaulus as Its president, while this year 1,200 young men and women will be taught the most Important industrial braneh- es. That Sabbath address is going down to history under the title, of .the "$2,800,000 sermon."--Truth. ,.'&T -- Cow Was InehrlaM*. ' H. W. Collingwood, one of the edi- ors of the Rural New Yorker, is re» sponsible for the declaration that a cow can acquire a three-days' "jag" by the simple act of eating apples. Over in Bergen county, where Mr. Collingwood is widely known as a prohibitionist, churchman and presi­ dent of a Young Men's Christian As­ sociation, he conducts an experimental farm near the village of West wood, and among his achievements as a fancy farmer during the past summer he shipped to the city market 1,000 ears of prize corn, for which he re­ ceived a return of 80 cents. This and similar ventures taught the scientific farmer that there is more money in feeding prize corn to marketable swine than in contributing to the support of railroads and commission merchants. Mr. Collingwood avers that he went home a few days since and found that one of his best cows had gained sur­ reptitious access to a lot of apples and had eaten so many that before she could digest them the fruit began to ferment, causing the animal to mani­ fest all the symptoms of drunkenness, says the New York Sun. "And she had a most magnificent head on her for three days," said Mr. Collingwood, in relating the story. "She was blear-eyed, groggy on her legs, and just moped around as men do who have been out with the boys a little too long. Why, we were afraid to use or sell the milk while this lasted, lest somebody might be over­ come by a natural milk punch." Mr. Collingwood felt somewhat scandalized by this incident, especial­ ly as his wife and mothr-in-law are conspicuous in the Women's Christian Temperance union, but he made the matter the subject of investigation, and insists there Is no other means of accounting for the conduct of his cow. - '.#'i 1 Xflfeete of $ifi The dreadful opium joints, on the horrors of which old-time story writers were so fond of enlarging, are almost gone. But It Is not, alas! that opium-smok­ ers have reformed. Far from it. They have merely substituted one poison for another. The drug now in fashion is "hasheesh," made from the cannabis indlca, a sort of hemp. It is even worse in its effects than opium. Made up into greenish fluid, it is easily swallowed, and its effects are truly marvelous. It destroys In the subject all sense of time and 3pace. Years of delightful life are compressed In a single hour. The taker finds him­ self swimming in mid-air midst lovely woods, vast palaces and tropical gard­ ens. He looks down oh'his old self, seated In a dull corner, and pities it. But the after-effects are t^rU4e» 4% stroylng soul and body. .r.IfA -- --i. • }'gM Fence Made a Telephone:" * News comes here from Salinas that the Salinas Valley Land Company has an Odd telephone line in operation be­ tween the superintendent's office in Sa­ linas and the company's Gabilan ranch, covering a distance of about nine miles. The line Is simply barbed-wire fencing, which runs along the road be­ tween the termini, breaks or connec­ tions where it is necessary to cross the road, being made by regular telephone wire being put underground from one fence to the next It works fully as well as the regulation line and has the merit of inexpensiveness. Vaccine Far Saake Bite*. According to a paper recently com­ municated to the Academie des Sciences, Paris, M. Phisallx has found that some kinds of mushroom afford a "vaccine" against the venom of snakes. The juice of the mushroom renders a person immune against vipera for a month or firof)V, *. * X * *0 *$?*£.. ' «f 2-i x; , a' jfc >' £. '--7 ""r: TiT-r: . .. ti -k , Mm*: KNIFE NOT NECESSARY. «i ^5f' Appendicitis Easily Overcome Wltknt »>< 1' J Resorting to Surgery. •• j, * "This paper," writes Dr. Hulton to ;** the Medical Record, 'is a protest against the current surgical theory and practice that all eases of appen- ^ jy- dicitls must be split open. This pro- , f; ]d test is based on 27 years' experience as * i physician and surgeon, Including ser- ' £•--« vices in three hospitals, one western fort, five years in mining surgery, five . \ s' years In railroad surgery, twelve years I < In general practice on the central west- ti em plateau of Minnesota and four years in this great city, which-- • J "t1 unique in the speed of its rise, unique in the snap of its people, unique In ' * vast tributary territory and popula­ tion--is decreed by the fates to be the . hub oZ the earth la the near-by fu- ; , tare. "" "My experience is that appendicitis and all other bellyaches for which men now operate are promptly amenable to proper treatment. I can recall 100 cases treated with symptoms of this malady--or of typhlitis or perityphl­ itis, as It was formerly called--but I have never yet met a case of It in which I felt It was my duty to cut or which terminated fatally. Influenced by the prevailing craze to cut, time and again in coming to new cases of this kind I have thought: 'Now, sir, your time has come; in this case yon | must cut.' But, presto! simple medi- i cal treatment again availed. Later on | I shall cite other unimpeachable prac- I tltioners who share my views that ^ medical treatment avails In this mal- * ady, one showing 49 out of 51 cases I successfully treated--being more than J 96 per cent | "My treatment for appendicitis is ^ free calomel-and-soda purgation, sup- ^ plemented by hot applications, to bo | followed by a saline if actfam ia.^too-^ slow." * 3 ft- „ 'i « " £'•3- >2 v.t": ;3 1 . w * •Sfc •* I V V>.; ^ M WS'.A " J'*"l For Years Feared lleath. "For ten solid years," said a broker, "I lived In perpetual apprehension of sudden death. A doctor out In Texan told me, confound his picture, that I had valvular heart disease, and if 1 wanted to stay on earth I must avoid every species of excittment I did my best to follow his advice, but that mis­ erable specter was at my elbow day and night and embittered my whole existence. I don't believe I am a cow­ ard, but the thought preyed on me un­ til my normal condition was one of blue funk and T began to fear for my sanity. At last, after all those years of Infinite precaution, I went to a first-class specialist to find out how much longer I'd last and was assured t " that I hadn't one single symptom ot - 4 the malady. Talk about removing a * V mountain from a man! That assur- ; ^ ance knocked off an entire range. It * / changed the color of the universe in fr#- a twinkling and I was so happy I :' v' wanted to just throw up my hat and yell. That was a couple of years ago, and I have enjoyed myself tip top ewer '-<• i - • since, up to one day last week, when I „ * „•? - • happened to be chatting with the spe- ^ ' clalist and remarked that I'd like to murder that sawbones in Texas. *1 v don't blame you,' he said. 'That man a '• ^ •; had no right to tell you that you had heart disease. If I had found you ^ right at death's door I certainly would U") , never have left you know it.' Now, ' by jove, I don't know who or what to ,v*: believe and am drifting back to the old ;,' i state of uncertainty. I wish I lived '/j in a cannibal Island and had never ,. V 1 heard of doctors." ' . * r :i 1 ,rt •?. His Wife Saved Him. * It was near one of the large railroad ' \ *\tf stations. A man rather advanced £h • years, whose old-fashioned attire and „< <t open-mouthed wonderment proclaimed that he was a visitor from the rural ' districts and not accustomed to the ./Jf everyday sights pf a large city, waa suddenly accosted by a sharp-visaged youth with, "Mister, yer dropped yer wallick." As he spoke he held forth a large wallet well stuffed with old rev­ enue stamps covered with a couple of dollar bills. Uncle Rube looked at th« greenbacks bulging out of the wallet with equally protruding eyes, hesitated just one moment, and then, his cupid­ ity evident" --retting the better of him, reached fo. It. "Hold on; give us a tenner first," exclaimed the possessor of the wallet. The old man quickly put his hand In his trousers' pocket, but, after a moment, drawing forth his empty hand, he drawled out: "Take It out o' the wallet" The youth, closing the wallet with ill-concealed disgust, turned on his heel and hurried off. The stranger In town looked after the youth a moment and then, muttering, "Gol dern! Misted it ag'in. I told Sal I'd need more'n $3," he resumed hia peaceful way. ,< » , I im The Oldest Novelist. The oldest novelist in the w M. Louis Enault, the w<4l-k French romance writer, who was at Isigny in 1792, and will in days attain his lOGth birthday. elists. as a rule, do not attain any age, but M. Enault, It Is said. !• very regular life, and still poj all his faculties. He took part poleon's campaign in Russia, the Pass of Beresina lost three by frost-bite. M, Enault has p a large number of novels, and a wide circle of readers in Fi intends, on the anniversary of birthday, to Issue a new novel Thackeray's Beady WU Dining at a friend's house, eray found himself placed two young men, who amused them­ selves by turning him into ridicule. Af­ ter some time he said to them: "It seems, gentlemen, you take me either for a fool or an ass; but I can assuro you, you are mistaken, for I am ooJ# sitttsc betwixt the fW ' y ' *« . ,% % - 6 * • nr. < W L !h.. . y;$ . . ft!