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SAID'S Grandmother; w*»SK < :> AM really glad to see yon, old fel- !" It was a handsome young who spoke the words to an- . who had just leaped lightly from e train at a neat country village not usand miles from--well, no matter ere. "It does ae good to see yon, ear old boy. I dtda't half think you tyrould come." "You can't be more delighted to see ine than I am to be here, Sam. Why jflidn't you think I would come? I "jrrote you I would." "Oh, yes; but fancy what you had to .-^Where's your luggage, Jack?* '1 "Right here. A big telescope and my gun case; you said you had some good fhootlng about these woods." I ""See. we have that! Come, bundle fhe traps right into the buggy, Add be off. 1 dare say Mime has had , tupper waiting this half hour." t ; "Up you go, then." Jack Cameron Joas&i his thinks into the back of the buggy, took a seat beside Sam, ;';|§rbd already sat holding his lines, and - Ihey were off down the smooth road to Woodside, the pretty place two milts K 'from town where Sam Dermott lived th his old-maid sister, since the death of their father left them the Owners of land and property. "Explain yourself, old man," said Jack, turning to his friend, as they "M« PARDOS, BUT CAK 1 ASSIST YOU V ' sK . kowled along. "Why did you Imagine \ I would not come?" ' k "Oh, you were spending your vaca- ttoq, at your brother Tom's, and they %ad a It^t o^ pretty girls there, and • • "Just stop right now, Sam; that Is the identical reason I ran away." J "What, from the girls?" f . "Exactly. Tom's wife Is a regular little match-maker, as you know. She had those girls out partly with that ttery idea--thinks it is time I was set­ tled, and all that, you see. I got so fearfully tired of their dressing and ;flirting and making eyes at a fellow, %nd talking as if butter wouldn't melt In their mouths--ja.h, bah! It makes me ilck now! Don't you ever believe I was going to stay there, when I could ps-be out here with you and Miss Mime-- "not much!" Sam threw back his head and gave a hearty laugh. "Mighty glad we are to get you on any terms, Jack, lad; but aren't you a trifle hard on the girls? They axe not fill like that" "Well, most of 'em are. I'm sick of tl jthe whole business. Haven't got a ^ jglrl waiting for me here, have you? I'll go straight back if you have." £Vf' 1 "Then I wouldn't tell you if there , " was one. But no, there isn't a female f V4 »oul on the place except sister Jemima <j;. ;jand her cook and housemaid, nor very 1 jmany in the near neighborhood." i ' "Sure you have not a few «wniny **"' for a little visit?" r . . "No, not expecting any. Oh, yes, ' Mime did get a letter from our respect- , jed grandmamma, saylng she might drop / 'UJ *ln on us this Vedi, Nobody else, I }/*• ^assure you." , "*• - • " "Drive on, then. We will let the good ' „ "grandmamma come if she wants to. She won't interfere with our shooting and fishing. I'm content to stay as long as you'll let me, Sam." "Then you won't go back to the city grind in a hurry, tell you that! Get Up, Dan! Show your heels to our friend. can't you? He's a ||ttle dandy, Stack'. Cost me a cool two hundred, and I wouldn't look at three for him iy dav." ¥ The girls were quite forgotten in m's pet pony,.and before they reach- Woodside Jack's face had entirely it,.Its tired look of disgust with the rotid In general. Miss Jemima (.or Mime, as she was usually called) was standing on the front veranda to wel­ come tkem and bid them hasten to get ready for supper, or her nice hot rolls would be spoiled. They were soon seated at her hospit­ able board, and Jack did full justice not only to the rolls, but the fragrant coffee, rich cream, fresh home-cured er as they were rising fittm the table, a telegram was handed-to Sam, which he hastily read, and gave an exclama­ tion of vexation. "Now, hang it aft!" said be, "I've got to go on this troublesome case, and here's a message from grandmother- she will be at Hartville this afternoon, and wants me to come over and meet her there." "Oh, is grandmother coming to-day T* asked Mime, stopping In the door on her way to th®-kitchen, f'* "So this says rand what to do I don't know, unless you will go Over, Mime." "Caift I go?" put in Jack. "I am at the service of the venerable lady for any length of time, and of course as she is old, and not apt to be very strong, she meutt not be left alone at a strange place. I'll feotor yon, Sam, with pleasure," Sam bad turned to Jack with a qneet expression on his face, and Miss Mime began to say: "What? Grandmother? Oh, she's--" But Sam hastily stepped up to her, said something in a low tout; and turn­ ed to his friend. t! "The very thing, Jack! I do wish you would go. You can drive Dan* to the buggy, and'I'll take old Cob to the road cart."1 "All right; 1*11 got HoW shall I know the dear old lady? Can you describe her, as she trill not kn&w me, of course?" . > Sam had his baek turned and- his voice sounded odd as he replied: "Oh, the station agent at Hartville knows her. She often comes that way. He will show her to you. Be sure to take good care of her, Jack. Ha! ha!" "To be sure I will. What are you laughing at, Sam?". "Oh, only an idea that struck me-- something about Donovan's case. Good- by. old boy. I'll be at home as early as possible. Don't forget to meet Grand­ mother Dermott. Good-by. Ha! ha! ha!" Sam went out leaving Jack wonder­ ing what tickled him so; but as he was not familiar with the Donovan ease, of course it might be a very funny one., At 3 o'clock that afternoon Jack drove up to the little dingy railroad station at Hartville, and hitched Dan to a convenient post. He drew out his watch, and glancing at it, observed: "Not much time to spare! Train's due now, if Sam was right. Ah, there it comes! Where's that agent? Never mind him, anyway! If only one old lady gets off, I shall know it is Sam's grandmother without any introduction. I'd better be near; the dear old soul may need help to get off." Jack gallantly drew very close to the train as it stopped, and stood wafting for his passenger. Half a dozen coun­ trymen, two women with babies in their arms, and- a fat colored woman, nobody else, except a slender girl in a stylish black suit, at whom even wom­ an-hater Jack had to' cast a second glance, she was so exceedingly pretty and attractive; "Where's my old lady?" be said to himself. "Something must have hap­ pened, for she Is certainly not here. I wonder why she did not come?" But as she had not, he was a boat ta go back to the buggy, when he saw the handsome girl standing near him with a perplexed look on her lovely face. Jack s4$pped .up* lifting his hat. "Beg pardoft̂ miss, but can I assist you? Abe youJookihg for some one?" The lady, a'.smile, and an­ swered:;.., -V\ v f v\\. * "Yes, I did expect some one to meet me fronf Woodside FarmP but no one to here. Are there any conveyances to be hired at this place, do you know?" "I do nefcl indec^ jfeturned Jack, astonished. :*"0ut I cdme fropn Wood- side myself. toe, expected to meet a lady who ha« not arrived--Mrs. Dei mott." i • {'H; The lady smiled again, and said* brightly:* * v'*fyy P "Oh, theft we are. aU right! I am Mrs. Captain Dermott, and you mtwf be the ifriepd Sam wrote they were ex­ pecting fr«m the city." "I am Sam's friend, certainly, bat- but--there is some piistake," stammer­ ed Jack., , caffie to meet Sam'a grandmother, a very old lady." A merry little laugh was his answer. "I think there Is no mistake, Mr.--r "Cameron," Jac ̂barely bad sense ta supply. "Thank you, Mr.iCameron; then I be­ lieve it is all right! Ivam Sam's grand­ mother, though perhaps not so old k* might have been expected. Did you ever know that Captain Dermott wis married only two years before his death? And I was not sorry, even if he was an old man, for he was so good to me," she added, honestly, a regret­ ful look coming over her sweet face. 'Jack made out to stammer again: , "I--I never heard. I did not--I was not--oh, excuse me, miss--madam, I mean--but t am really knocked off my pins, if you will forgive the slang, with this surprise. I was prepared for a white-haired, feeble old lady, who would need help in getting off the htm. "I know now what he laughed at this motto!!*;" he but m get evZ^S i. bar* to be hit#wadlktittt to dtf ftf When they stopped at the door Mime came running out to meet them. "You found her, did you?" *Ye«, I did, and I made a big fool of' myself, Miss Mime* and I beileve you and Sam planned it all, too!" Then they all three broke ' Into a laugh, and when Mrs. Derthott, after she bad kissed Mime, held out her white hand and said, pleasantly, "But you mustn't be angry Veltb me, Mr. Cameron, for I was as innocent as yourself. Shall we be fritendsT* he could do nothing but extend bis own and say, humbly: "It shall not be my fault if we are anything else, I dont care whose grandmother* you are!" But when he was alone with Sam that night, didn't Sam catch it? "I declare, I never thought but what you knew," he said, when Jack would let him speak at all. "Grandfather Dermott married a young girl a few years before he died, and of course by law she Is our grandmother." "She don't look like a girl who would make that kind of a marriage," said Jack, thoughtfully. "It was not 'that kind of a marriage' as you mean i^. Grandfather wan alone, and needed a woman's care and love. Oi>ra gave It because she pitied him, much more than because she knew he would leave her a fortune when he died. She's a lovely woman, and might have made several good matches since grandfather went, but she wouldn't listen to them. Jack, she'd suit you to a dot." "Perhaps I wouldn't suit her, though. Sam, when y©» saw I did not know this morning, why didn't you tell me?" "Well, then, I must confess it struck me to carry out the joke,-and let you find out for yourself, so I stopped Mime when she was going to tell. Don't be mad. old fellow." "I won't promise; It depends. I'll tell you what I will do, If she don't say no, I'll pay you up by making myself your grandfather, Sam." "Go in, Jack! Go in and win!" Jack did win, for the last letter Sam had from his was written while he was on his wedding trip, and was signed "Your affectionate and happy grand­ father."--Farm and Fireside. « V. NEARLY 400 YEARS OLCI* Inn that Sheltered Queen Elisabeth in the Fouth of KnKland, One of the quaintest old Inns tn the south of England is the Running Horse Inn at Leattierhead, in Surrey. It dates back to 1500, and it is on rec­ ord that Queen Elizabeth slept there for a night on her way to visit Sic John More, at Loseby Hall. To the thousands of bicyclists who pass through Leatherhead on their way to Dorking and Guildford, the Running Horse must be familiar enough, al­ though few of that hurrying crowd ever think it worth while to dismount and examine the ancient inscriptions on the house. The inn stands at the bottom of the hill adjoining the bridge over the Mole (so called because at one point it bur-, rows underground), and in the old days it served as a shelter . for travelers who were unable to cross the ford ow­ ing to floods. Somewhere about the year 1520 the hm was owned by one Mistress Elynor Running or Rummyng; and the name of the house is probably a play upon her name. The poet laureate to Henry VII. celebrated the good dame In. verse, which he entitled; "The Tunning of Elynor Running." lit is- related of her; that she was in the habit of giving short measure of beer, and in conse­ quence was rolled down Leatherhead Hill in a barrel. There is a painting of tW» dame on the inn walL It is very indistinct, but appears to represent an elderly woman wearing what was known as aai "extin­ guisher hat." The picture is dfcited: 1520, and bears this legend: "When Skelton wore the laurel croara. My ale put all the ale-wives down.** The inn Itself Is a quaint gabled" structure, which has probably been added to from time to time, but no- portion of it appears to be particularly modem--London MalL THE AVERAGE WOMAN. . tritfsg^y has been helped <6# : and onward path un- by ita^poasesslon of a |no superior in the mak- d that belongs to it in n than to any other that la lt» ̂average its B wea" ing ta greater country--and women. There way no work of which these women were afchamed, or which, being necessary to/others, tbey regarded as too menial for themselves; If there were a service to be done, the only question was bow best to do it. Tbey made great sacrifices in order that their sons should have the highest education ob­ tainable; they had a pride and concern In their neighbors' mm»r they watched the progreai <»f events with as Keen attention as they did the affairs <*f the village. . Their hands might be rough with toil, their faces seamed with eai'e, iheir dreas unacquainted with fashion*, but. nevertheless, if it had been neces­ sary for them to »taaa<f tn the presence of royalty they would have done so un­ abashed and perfectly ast home, audi have given the onlookers a notion of the inheseufk royalty of worth and. hon^ er. Whatever the shortcomings of these women may have been, they were all eclipsed, by the largeness of their virtues^ There la no other country that has- this proud: distinction* For In. other, lands the woman who "does own her own work/' who is imbrowned and.bant- by toil and wearsK the hodden-gray, is very rarely & thinker or a reader, has jdo avenues of learning, and has* no. sense open on die side of affairs- or. of the wide events-of the larger life; Had these women of ours been born in the middle of civilization, and; received, the- training aifdiassociation of the environ­ ment there, they, would often have be­ come historical, figures; as it' 1% they have assisted In. the making of history. They instilled- patriotism into their children as they rocked the cradle; they gave them force, energy, determina­ tion, endeavor, and they directed all those qualities Into the right trend; It/ Is always with their mothers' Instincts in their blood that these children hn,y» gone on and leveled mountains, reduc­ ed forests, bridged rivers, built cities, subdued a continent. And In the meantime these women antedated all the women of clubs and societies. They had a great hunger for sympathy in their outlook, their thought, and work; but they were obliged to be club and' society for themselves. They were$ut the average women of the wide coun­ try, but they were not only sometimes the mothers of presidents, they were the mothers of America.--Harper'3 Bazar. careful in these small proprieties, says the Philadelphia Inquirer. A mm val­ ues her more if she gives nothing than if she lavishes presents. If sMkto en­ gaged to him, she may send what pleases her fancy; but If she avoids making gifts until then she -will never be a li liia to regre£ feet days of summer are danger­ ous days* for the bottle-fed baby, unless the greatest care fa exercised In the cleansing of lite battles. Even the most carefully prepared food may be poi­ soned if carelessness ia permitted to the wasMng- of baby's utensils. V«*y few people know how to wash) a bottle cltean, says the Wew York Star. Don't call a bottle clean1 unless it shines like new glass. It eannot be madia dean enough for baby's* use- with hot water or soap, and especially if one of the "wapsy" tilings usually sold for a bot­ tle brush Is used. The- bottle brush must have good bristles and a strong handle. A^fter all the milk ha* been rinsed off from tiie bottle that cam be* with cold water, then put in some pow­ dered borax, and* with; the-strong bnualfc it can be made to> shine; Now place- the bottle In cold water to> completely cover It; and let the water heat slowly and boil for twenty minutes. Then let It: oool enough so that you can comfort­ ably handle it. The dhy's supply off food being ready, It can tte put imme­ diately Into- the bottles and tightly corked with absorbent cotton. About ten ml^utes^ before baby's- meal time- place the bottle in a pitcher of warm, water. When warm enough remove the absorbent cotton, put on the nipple, and It :1a ready for babyv i&r r i LAW AS INTERPRETED. V bam and eggs, and all the other dainty i train, but not--not this, you seer' dishes in which Miss Mime's heart de- J Another merry laugh from Mrs. (ier- Hghted. After supper tbey paid a visit | mott. to the stables before dark, and laid I "I wonder Sam or Mime did not tell plans for a drive to Flat Rock on a I you better. Why did not coxae fishing trip next day. Two or three with you?" A statutory laborer's lien for harvest­ ing grain is held in Wilson vs. Donald­ son (Cal.), 43 L. R. A. 524, to have no superiority over a prior ehattel mort­ gage where it was not so provided by statute. A vendor's lien upon a sale for a gross consideration of both real and personal property without any appor­ tionment of the price Is held in Doty; vs. Deposit Building and I<oati Assoeia-; tlon (Ky.), 43 L. R. A. 661, to be en*, forceable against the real property for; the entire amount. ? A convent building used solely as a residence for teachera in a school maintained as a charity and which is a part of the school property and neces­ sary for the efficient operation and management of the school Is held In White vs. Smith (Pa.), 43 L. R. A. 498, to be Included in the exemption of the school buildings from taxation. Money withheld by the mortgagee in breach of his promise to advance the full amount of the mortgage loan for building purposes on land not yet paid for Is held in Anglo-American Savings nnd Loan Association vs. Campbell (D. C.), 43 L. R. A. 622, to be subject to a constructive trust in favor of per sons who have furnished labor or ma­ terials for the buildings In reliance upon the mortgagee's representations that be will make the advance. Cards Instead of Calls* Jfc cardcase has become an almost useless Institution, now ihat card-leav­ ing has to a very large extent taken the galce of calls among the members- of the highest circles of society. A card- case with, them has become a thing of the past, declares a London paper, being, totally unequal to the demands- made upon it nowadays. A large bag has- taken its- place, the contents- of. which: are distributed by the magnificent Jeames," who receives them from the hands of his mistress. Dozens are dis­ posed of during an afternoon's-"round." The substitution of cards- for calls- saves trouble, but has a curious effect upon society by removing the only op­ portunity by wMeh fresh acquaint­ ances cab, become, as a rule, really known to each other. similar days flew rapidly by. Jack de­ claring he would not exchange the good times he was having with Sam for all the girls in the world. Four days after he fame Sam was obliged to go to a neighboring town on a bit of law business--he had to be a witness In a land suit for another man--and Jack, not caring to put through a dull day in a country court, intended to spend the time hunting in the woods around the farm. While tbey sat ̂ t teeakfaat» «r aath- * "\S' X°--i J jJcii "Had to go over to Cloverton on somebody's lawsuit. So I took his place. And really, Mrs. Dermott, I'm not always such a fool! Pardon roe, and tell me where to find your bag­ gage. I will see to having it sent out. "Thank you. There is only one trunk. Here is the cheek." She "gave it to him, and he had pres­ ently engaged the wagon to bring It to the farm, had put her into the buggy and was driving back to .Woodside, for MM^.ln hi*, life f)moat dttafe. He - • "V *\ • = r Casey's Close OmII. Dwgan--Casey fill in yesterday an wuz near drownded--ut wuz up to his ankles. Regan--Up to his ankles and near drownded! Doogan--Faith, he wlnt In head furat--Brooklyn Life. What has become of the old faah- ioned woman who made the children stay out of the house and walk on tip toes in the yard whenever she had • cake In tbe ovent " Beats a Dime Novel Heroine. Miss Claire Hetena Ferguson ts known as 'the girl sheriff of Utah." She ia young and beautiful, highly e<lu- cated and promin­ ent In society, but she has had as many thrilling ex­ periences as the border heroine of a dime novel. She prevented the ea- c a p e of "Hand­ some Gray," the most desperate She nearly lost her life at the hands of a lunatic. She is the only woman ever Invited to visit the "Robber's Roost," the rendeavous of a lawless gang of cattle thieves. She saved a woman thief from suleidew Unumpathettc WWe*. Isn't it a pity that so * many- womeni fail utterly In understanding and' be­ ing suitable companions to- their hus­ bands? They do not seem able to> at­ tempt to even pretend to take an in­ terest in his habits- or. pleasures, though expecting him to be interested) in their most trivial pursuits or domes­ tic worries. It ia a solemn fact that some women seem far more taken up with the short­ comings of their cook or housemaid: than in the fact that their husband' has- painted a famous picture, or, maybe, written the book of the season. One such wife was -teard to remark, not long ago, concerning her hn«handfc picture: "Fancy my horror when. I saw that he had painted a. baby im a torn pinafore and all his-: broken toys< at his feet, just as if we were too poor to buy him new ones." This sort of wife wonders* as- time goes on, what is the reason, when theirs was a love match to begin with, that she and her husband: ace living such distinctly different lives. Not for one moment, however, does-it occur to> her that the remedy has- always been. In her own hands.--Philadelphia Ify- iquire^] :. JDntieaof W«re*T A '> It is-a man's duty to acquaint* hia- wlfe with every business ma-tter of mu­ tual. interest," writes Frances- EvaaiSy. in the Ladies' Home Journal. "S&e- ahould be given an insight into the pur­ pose of his business or profession;, her sympathetic Interest' in these matters should be encouraged* not tunned aafdie; moreover, she should! be taught the- meaning of at least the ordinary busi­ ness expression® and technicalities*. Then: if she fall to do her pact the wm wlJl be in nowise responsible for her mistakes. If I were a young married man with only $1,000 saved up, I should make a will tn favor of my wife and children, If only to save her the trouble of court proceedings Ln the ad^ustraerat of her third. Some men are cowards about making a wiH, said others pro­ crastinate. The corcaxdls aare afraid that the mere aet of drawing up a will might precipitate them tnto a prema­ ture grave, while the procrastinate puts off a recognized duty inns day to day until it i*s too late.** MISS FERGUSON. criminal in Utah. President iMtor, is proof of of the c station, will visit with the m no shoultf wi£v tore ta ̂ to line declines promotion out of his- turn' in> the rank of admiral, although hie- re­ quest would secur^ the coveted honor* He is affable, approachable, full of ani­ mal spirits, and the only man living: who la on terms of familiarity with the Emperor. He is immensely popultur among all classes of Germans, and ia regarded as quite a hero. It was- to • him, when he sailed for the China seoa, that Emperor William used the ex­ pression, "mailed fist," when voicing a* pledge that Germany would hold what' belonged to it, and would clalm aU.to1 which it was entitled. Too Often > ejected, One of the best tests of good bouae- wlfeltnees is the exterior appearance of a home. The windows should be bril­ liantly clean and bright, the blinds should be pulled up evenly In all win­ dows, the curtains neatly draped, the front steps Immaculately white,. and the flower-boxes fresh and green. Such a house will suggest, even to the pass­ ing stranger, an Interior that is neat and pure and sweet; while, equally as strongly, dirty window panes, muddy steps and blinds all awry, will Induce a feeling of suspicion about the cleanli­ ness and comfort, of the house Inside. The outside of the platter must be, and Is, cared for by the notable house­ keeper. Thoroughly Now Women. The water melon gro#» wild all we*; Aflrtea. It was cultivated in Egypt R. C- 2500. The picture, "The Angeltie," waa painted by Jean Francois Millet > Hn 1867-68, He died ln 1875. Geographically and geologically, the British Isles are included with the con­ tinent of Europe; politically, they axe not. Were it not for the multitude of storks- that throng to Egypt every winter, there would be no living ln the country, for after every Inundation £tog» appear ln most incredible num­ bers. The government assumes the respon­ sibility for registered mall matter up to* $10. That does not mean that it will pay $10 for a dollar article lost from the registered mail, but will pay the value of, and not more than ¥10 for, any article lost from the mall. In a joint land operation the senioi < vuuLccr, whether of the army or the navyr would command the forces. Ad* miral Dewey did not go ashore at Ma^ nila to take part in the land attack; even if he bad done so, General Mer- ' ritt and General Otis would have rank­ ed him; it was not until March 3 of this year that he ranked Otis. Until consolidation Brooklyn land- holdera paid taxes ln advance; New- Yorkers at the end of the year. So the Brooklyn property holders paid . their taxes for 1898 in December, 1897, yand paid' none in 1898; the New-York- i^ers- paid their 1898 taxes in December, 1898; all property owners will pay their 1899 taxes In December, 1899. The Brooklyn people have not saved a year's taxes. Neither Well Nor Hick. ( Huge as are the complete dictionaries of the language already, they will be very much larger still by the time the next generation has its day, if new words are added to the mother tongue at the present rate. So far as I can-i learn noneof the lexicons contain a word 1 heard a girl at Chevy Chase use just a few days ago. She was a trifle pale,- and the young man with her was so. solicitous that I inferred she had; re­ cently been ill. "How do you feel?" L heard hlmiaak. "Oh, all right," I heard her answer. "I'm not ill now. I Hast feel, a< little- ick." "Sick?" said he. "No, ick," she repeated; "Donlfc yon know the word? It doesn?t mean.exact­ ly sick, and it doesn't: mean quite well. It meatus Just out oft sorts,, and If& ever so much shorter and! more convenient to use." Personally, I thlnk It's a word: worth adopting, and when Fm neither well nor ill I shall hereafter W "lek."-- Washington Pist. Gift, from Men. s „ The gifts which a young woman receive from a man who Is not a rela­ tive are so limited that the giver can­ not complain that "the impediment lies in the choosing." Flowers, bonbons, books and music may be accepted. When this rule is firmly adhered to a girl may have the satisfaction of know­ ing that she is following one of the first principles of social law. A jewel, ring or personal ornament should not be ac­ cepted from any other than the man to whom she Is engaged to be married. The earlier these rules become estab­ lished In a young girl's mind the easier it will be for heT to avoid misunder­ standings and to free herself from trou­ blesome perplexities. A young girl should be a* chary of giving presents to me# who are not rel­ atives as she should be In her corre­ spondence with them. It does not fol- l̂ w that the la a, prude because she |« MASYTV. WRIGHT. Hon. Maty A. Wright and Hon. Clara L. Campbell are members of the Idaho #ou8e of Representatives. W Prraerve Brooms. Brooms dipped for a few minutes la boiling stfds once a week will last much longer thato they otherwise would do. Foresight. •Among the myriad anecdotes of dog­ gish intelligence, but few illustrate the precious gift of prudence so effectively as the following story, cited ln the diary of Sir M. E, Grant Duff; The clergyman has a small dog, which would delight your soul. It Is occustomed to sleep with his children, but never knows in whose bed, as they fight for it every night. One evening all the household had gone out, leaving their supper, consisting of meat plee and little cakes, on the kitchen table. I When they returned the eatables had entirely disappeared. When the children went to bed, how­ ever, each child foundC under lta coun­ terpane, a meat pie aiM a little cake. In its uncertainty as to Its resting place the dog had determined to be prepared for all emergencies. V • • " t- ;v Sound >>7. ' Hogiiii Schwarzmeister was tellln' me that Uncle Sam could never lick the FlllyiiiBoes. GrofEn--An' did yea show him he was wrong? "Ot did. 01 think be will be out tn about a fortnight."--Indianapolis Jour­ nal. ; Wooden legs are used by over 1,000^- 000 EngUtfhofpeakiag men. Barbers* Pictures. Bob Uricho (the barber)--Men of my profession are very good story-tellers. Customer--Yes, and they usually Il­ lustrate their Btories with cuts,--Qin- • ae* 3PBINCB HBVBT •CTO#*th* ^.wTiUg to vth||| of Western Kansas. "It dees that." responded addressed, "but then there's coasting for the shlftlessness of Ame*(ians. It makes one almoc*| fer<£|* countrymen.' We had both been looking out <0 car window, relates the Derott hnd the remarks had liefctr c*sianed by a shanty of sod set a stony hill close beside track, from which a flaw boaed natife- had etood In tfce dMrr, with hfs wtfe tow-B««ded youngsters group­ ed behind him; and had watched oUST ' •tain, "the flyer," dash by. ,, , "Stunted ambjjtien, dwarfed energy,, everything indoles# and lazy, in that, •sene," 1 continued. » V V "Yes," assented my fellow traveled y* certainly augurs ill for the pro* ^ ireaarfveness of the United tSates thai, one can find men willing to rear a lly without a struggle to better their condition in life."- : At this point iu> the conversation some* one poked me- in the back to a& tract? my attention, and' turning around lii my seat I noticed' an almost exact counterpart of the individual who had stood In the cabin door, and I recalled that a; countryman Had boarded the train at its-last stop'and had remarked to the conductor as his-ticket was being punched that he was bound for the oounty seat to pay hlg-taxes; "Be you from the city?1* inquired tit*.- i author of the poke in my back. :k' "YeSjr from several," I answered "Home• liiiNew York, headquarters fjfc. Chicago,1 spend two weeks at a time Detroit, Buffalo*. Cleveland and St. Louis." '. • • ; "Thought 6»*r nodded th^mtlve. V J "And may I ask why??- *1 . "Wal, I iheerd yer remarks sorter ? compj'ment'ry 'bout: weuns out ye«% an' I seed ye spoke unbeknownst ^ things." "I'm sorrydf 1 /wounded your feeling^?;? my friend, and I am certainty open to? conviction if you will be ktiu}! enough to set aright any wrong I dfd your peoi» pie in my observations," "Wal, hit's-jes-thtej ye remarked ^; how a man didn't hev no energy ner grit as lived out yere. Thet's where yer wrong! A' man .to make a llvin' - for hisself an' fambly yere hez gotteri' scratch;. pow'ful: hard. Hit: takessppo^- gressiveness to git enough to eat o^ yere." " " . . "I guess that's about right/f'the^ across the aisle assented.' "Wril, thet's jes it! A man's gotter- be smart ter scheme around as ter how^-, to keep- ffom Starvin' out yere, an' any; blamed fool can live in the city;" J Thls-was-a homely view of the situ#* tlon; but the Maiden Trutk<wa&^9e^f ; so handsomely pictured. *fr. 1 . •" s..1 '.'18 M £ Wi HE HAD NO MONEY, isfe- Mtfi <-Mri {i Amusing and ^.mbarrasskiff of a Young Society Man. A young society swell tells <t!Story i»#«\ himself over which , he. can laugh >noW*i' but which, in Its inception, was ppetty. eerlous for a moment or two... He was rather dependent upon httfcV brother.ton his monthly allowance, and ; during.a .certain month: of the gay. sea­ son ran short of funds early. He had: Invited a girl to go to the theater andr had ithe. price of the tiefcets and the car* fare, but not much moreithan would; have bought a cigar or two. The girl: was of the demure sort, whose parensa believed in early hours, and 'he felt aura • that he could not risk the bluff of a^u^- per invitation after the show without - being taken at his word. - " Alas, when he pressed:the invite tot partake of oyster9 and terrapin, th** girl,immediately, acquiesced. The notw- elty of the thing was ̂ alluring, no dtOul and It was her first "after the theat repast/." v They went;-toj a swell restaurant;, where the young man was not well: enough; known to assume to be given. credit, and forawhile the-situation was< pretty ticklish. They partook of the dainties the girl chose on. the bill,•«& . fare, and then came the rufr " f An idea struck the young-man..II-wait bold; but it had to be done. He had ttto young lady's opera glasses in his- ovetv coat pooket, and with: the latter dansre- llng loosely on his arm. he walked' to> the cashier's desk, as- ill tn; settle tHa> amount of his-check: "Fob marcy's sake, take that pair, of glassesi" he «ald to the- cashier; left my loose change In my otller trous­ ers, and I certainly don't want to be- made a guy of before- her." The cash­ ier, seeing that the* glasses were vatu» able far in excess of: the- rnn'3«nt of tvW bill, aequlesced; 'TH come- Piir them ia the morning," whispered t&e young man> and hurried off to Ws pauiooa oa with her wraps. v They went home feefing blissfuHy content with their- supper and theqe* selves. At the d&ar he b®de her goo#- night. • , " "By the way," she said, again tuf*$> log to her escort, "where are my openi glasses?" ^ He made a pretense of fumbling through his pockets, but "We must have left them on the table, I beg your pardon; 111 go right back there now and bring them to you to-morrow eveg$* lng." The next morning the swell went to . his brother and related his hard-lucfk atory. A eheck large enough to cover the restaurant bill and a box of flowers for the girl were soon forthcoming, and that evening the quick-witted young man, in hie best bib and tucker, went to the home of his inamorata and re­ turned the opera glasses. ^ j "They were in the same place whet^l We left them," he explained significant­ ly, and It is said that he has slnee con­ fessed, and that she has condQned tl awful fib. It • ' 'wi - r ' . i Nothinat to' Keep It VaeA" ' ? "Your love for me ia growing cold," she said: "What else can you expect," he re­ torted, "when you eetve my meala cold?"--Philadelphia North American*' Everything cannot go to suit y<Mh %i.r" my V. 4*