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Eureka Harness Oil is the l»est preservative of new leather and the best renovator ot old leather. It oils, softens, black­ ens and protects. Use Eureka Harness Oil on your best harness, your old har­ ness, and your carriagp top, and they will not only look better but wear longer. Sold everywhere In cans-- all sizes from half pints to live gallons, llade by 8TANDAH1) OIL CO. 'Twill make a horse laugh i f y o u h i m t o o u r establishment for a new spring outfit. Nice new harness, sweat pads, cur­ ry combs, brushes, whips, etc. We also have a nice line of spring robes that you should see. Every­ thing for the horse. Repairing done neatly and promptly. WM. MERZ, - McHenry. H. fl. Jensen \ FLORIST Cut Flowers in all Varieties. Funeral Designs on short notice and at reasonable prices. Potted Plants Potted Plants of all kinds constantly on hand. We would be greatly pleased to have the pnblic give us a call McHENRY, ILLINOIS. It Touches l the Spot 1 nOBBISALYF I m ^ For Cutst Burns ' B Bruises, Sores, Pimples* Chapped Hands and Lips, Etc. Etc. end for sample. Large box, 25c DOBBIN nFG. CO. Station S, Chicago, 111. --Don't wait for the Casualty!-- Be Prepared! F. WATTLES (Successor to It. R. Howard) Proprietor of the West Side Meat Market All kinds of Fresh and salt Meats always on hand Oysters n their season. Vegetables and Canned Goods. Come and give me a trial. F. WATTLES. West McHenry. This Bank receives deposits, buys and sells Foreign and Do­ mestic Exchange, and does a GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS. We endeavor to do all busi­ ness entrusted to our care in a manner and upon terms entire­ ly satisfactory to our custom­ ers and respectfully solicit the public patronage Honey to Loan on real estate and other first class se­ curity. Spec- attention given to collections, and promptly at­ tended to INSURANCE in First Class Companies, at the Low­ est rates. Yours Respectfully PERRY & OWEN, Notary Public. Banker*. They Took Their Turn*. A young man nesiriing tu the north­ ern section of the city had been calling for some time on a young woman, in fact he thoroughly enjoyed the com­ pany of her whole family. One evening he called and of the fattier who an­ swered his ring he made his usual in­ quiry, "Are the folks in?" lie was an­ swered in the affirmative and asked to "step in." He was ushered into the parlor, apd after the old gentleman had engaged in conversation with him for about a quarter of an hour he excused himself, went out, and the eldest son next enter­ ed and entertained the young man for about a quarter of an hour. Then an- other brother and sister, and the yoviiig man's suspicions were somewhat aroused when the mother took her turn. A little sister came next, follow­ ed in turn by the family cat, which tubbed itself against the young man's newly pressed trousers. He gave a sigh of relief when, after an hour spent in misery, his sweet­ heart made her appearance. He begged of her to "put him next" to the joke, and between her bursts of laughter she informed him that "since he was try­ ing to court the ^rhole family papa thought they had best take turns." It is unnecessary to say that he failed to see the joke and has ceased his at­ tentions.--Reading Eagle. #*• Nicknamed by Architects. These young architects are merciless chaps when they are discussing the work of some one else. The spire of one of the new churches in Boston al­ ways attracts my attention. Away up aloft there are angels, gracefully poised, each with a trumpet at mouth and leaning far out on the air that swims around them. I have admired that group most mightily. I was com­ menting in that strain in the hearing of a Boston architect. "Of what church are you speaking?" queried the architect. „ I told him. "t>h, yes," said he carelessly, "the Church of the Holy Beanblowers. That's what comes of lack of sense of proportion. Those trumps are too slender." And now I can no longer admire that seraphic group on the spire. I strive to think of angels, and I fetch up by thinking of beanblowers. And another church in Boston is in architects' terms the "Church of the Holy Thermometer" on account of some decoration meant to be Imposing. And another Is the "Church of the Kindergarten Steeples"--for there is one big spire surrounded by lots of lit­ tle kid spires--"waiting to grow," say the architectural Philistines.--Lewls- ton Journal. Look Before Yon Leap. Once upon a time there was a young man who believed what, the books said.. He left the farm and came to the great city to make his fortune and to Climb the ladder of fame. The books said a great deal about the ladder of fame, so the young man exercised him­ self on copybook morals and poor Rich­ ard's almanac in' order to be able to1 chin himself up a round at a time. He was especially strong on run­ away horses, and one day, to his grati­ fication, he saw a mad steed plunging down the crowded street. He could not see any fainting maiden attached, but still he knew this was his oppor­ tunity. He sprang for the bridle, but hit the front wheel Instead and was projected with violence Into the gut­ ter. Six months later, when he came out of the hospital, he was sent to the Home For the Feebleminded for try­ ing to stop a fire marshal in the per­ formance of his duty. Moral--Get your opportunities label­ ed.--Dartmouth Literary Monthly. Raikin'i Collars. A prophet indeed has no honor in his own country. An English gentleman who had gone to Brantwood on an out­ ing tour, finding himself in need of books in order to beguile a heavy hour or two, stepped Into a bookstore of Ruskin's village and asked the lady at­ tendant if she had any of the thinker's books. "Yes," she replied. "There were some, but they were not often asked for." Having obtained the book he desired, he asked her what she .thought of the great critic and teacher. Her ideas of Ruskin's personality were very vague, however, and she excused her igno­ rance on the ground that the people about there did not seem to trouble much about him. As for herself, she only knew him as "the old gentleman who only had a clean collar once a week/? Pat's Happy Wish. udge--So the prisoner hit you on the head with a brick, did hef--= McGinty--Yis, yer honor. Judge--But it seems he didn't quite kill you, anyway. McGinty--No. bad 'cess to him. but it's wlshin he had OI do be. Judge--Why do you wish that? McGinty--Begory, thin OI would have seen the schoundrel hanged for murther!--Chicago News. Staying? at Home. A lady residing in North Columbus meeting a girl the other day who had lately been In her service inquired: "Well. Mary, where do you live $ow ?" "Please, ma'am, I doift live no­ where," rejoined the girl. "I'm mar­ ried."--Indianapolis Journal. • The American Bible society circu­ lates the Scriptures in 96 tongues, be­ sides our own speech; 28 European, 39 Asiatic, 8 Oceanic, 9 African, 9 Ameri­ can Indian and 3 South American lan­ guages and dialects. Although the Transvaal Is 1.000 miles nearer tbe equator, the temperature averages much lower than at Cape Town. The coming total eclipse of the sun. due in the United States on the morn­ ing of the 38th of May next, will very probably materially advance our scientific knowledge of this strange phenomenon. Owing chiefly to the ready accessibility of the sections where its totality occurs, much interest is al­ ready being shown by the general public regarding the best means for amateur observations and facts connect­ ed with eclipse history. An article directly in this line--giving a general af-count of the history of eclipses; what has been discovered by their aid, and what yet remains to be elucidated; how they may best be observed by one not equipped with a telescope; the features of special interest to be watched for, and the various times and places where the totality may been seen--is published in Appleton's Popular Science Monthly for May. A number of maps and diagrams add very much to the clearness and interest of the article, which is written by Prof. F. H. Bigelow of the United States Weather Bureau. The most expensive city in the world-- that is. the one that costs the most to run and spends the most money every year--is New York. Why is it so, how much it annually spends and how this vast sum might and should be reduced, is told by the present city Comptroller, Bird S. Coler, in a most important article, which is published in the May number of Appleton's Popular Science Monthly. International Law and the Peace Con­ ference is the title of an article by James Vickery, in Appletons' Popular Science Monthly for May, which gives the best general view of the recent Peace Conference at The Hague which we have* seen. The author points out the gradual growth of the introduction of humane methods into warfare from the time of 6rotius;that the recent con­ ference was a logical outcome of this evolution, and hot at all due primarily to any individual or government, and then shows that, despite the ridicule which has been expended on its work, the new rules and regulations are a distinct advance over previous methods, and are bound to lead to further im­ provements. •« The organs with which those curious anomalies. The Blind Fishes, see are described, in a most interesting illus­ trated article by Prof. Carl H. Eigen- inann in Appletons' Popular Science Monthly for May. That they have acute senses, which to a large extent do the work which the eye does for the normal animal, there seems no doubt. An insect which blows bubbles, not as an amusement but as an occupation, is described, in an interesting illustrated article by Prof. E. S. Morse, the naturalist, in Appletons' Popular Science Monthly for May. OUR THINKING SABRES IN THE PHILIP­ PINES. The American Army Officer in Action is the subject of a paper which Senator Albert J. Beveridge contributes to a forthcoming number of The Satur­ day Evening Post. During his visit to the Archipelago, Mr. Beveridge was the guest and comrade of Generals Lawton and King, and he tells some stirring stories of the undaunted courage of the tried Indian fighter and the nonchalant coolness of the army novelist. "If our soldiers are 'thinking bay­ onets, '"says he, ' 'Our officers are 'think­ ing sabres.'" The American Anny Officer in Action will appear in The Saturday Evening Post of May 5. . Remarkable Cure for Rheumatism. KENNA, Jackson Co., W. Va. About three years ago my wife had an attack of rheumatism* which confined her to her bed for over a month and rendered her unable to walk a step with­ out assistance, her limbs being swollen to double their normal size. Mr. S. Maddox insisted on my using Chamber­ lain's Pain Balm. I purchased a fifty- cent bottle and used it according to the directions and the next morning she walked to breakfast without assistance in any manner, and she ha$ not had a similar attack since.--A. B. PARSONS. For sale by Julia A. Story. Agents on salary of $15.00 per week and expenses; the greatest agent seller ever produced; every stock and poultry raiser buys it on sight. Hustlers want­ ed. Reference. Address, with stamp, American Mfg. Co., Terre Haute, Ind. . 32-ly Not a Caat iron Stomach. Of course you haven't. No one need have. Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin is a remedy prepared on purpose for stomach troubles, weak stomach, sour stomach, big stomach or little stomach, or any irregularities caused from indigestion or coiistipation. They can be per­ manently and thoroughly cured by the use of Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin, which is made in three sizes, . lOcts., 50cts. and $1.00 and is sold by Julia A. Story. Excursion Tickets to Meeting of North­ ern Illinois Teachers at Aurora, Via the North-Western Line, will be sold at reduced rates, April 26, 27, 28, limited to April 30. Apply to agents Chicago & North-Western R'y. Fixed the Gas Company. •Til fix 'em," said a Capitol Hill dtl- •en when he got his gas bill a couple of I months ago. "Nine dollars and eighty cents, hey, when we've been out every night with the exception of two or three for the past month! I'll move, that's all, at the end of the month, but If I don't make that gas meter of mine \rork overtime between now and the day I move it'll bo because I run out of matches, that's all! I'll eat up about $40 worth of gas and then let the darn­ ed gas company keep the $5 I've got on deposit!" So from that evening on as soon as twilight fell the Capitol Hill man made a tour of the house and lit every jet from cellar to garret. "I'll teach 'em to bunko folks!" he said to himself savagely as he started all the burners a-going. Along toward the end of the month he and his wife picked out another house and made arrangements for mov­ ing. The Capitol Ilill man; was de­ lighted when the gas bill read $29,60. "This Is one time they won't gouge tae!" he shouted exultantly as he danc­ ed around with the bill in his hand. Three days before the day set for moving his wife was taken ili, and of course the moving had to be declared off. She Is only now convalescing. The Capltoi|gjnil man paid the $29.00, and his friends are now telling him the story about the man who robbed his own trunk.--Washington Post. Danny Lied. Danny, who Is an errand boy In a broker's office, got a job in the same office for his chum Harry. Danny set himself the task of making Harry ap­ pear to the best advantage during the probationary period of his job. and he found it necessary sometimes to use {neans that were only justified by the end. Every afternoon Danny had to run with messages from one of the ex­ changes to the office, a distance of half a mile. When Harry came, Danny had to "break him in" to do this. The first day that he made the trip from the exchange Harry staggered Into the of­ fice, gasping, with his eyes starting from his head. For a moment he couldn't speak. The broker looked at him in astonishment and said: "You ran pretty fast, didn't "you? How long did it take?" "Four minutes and 17 seconds," Har­ ry panted, looking at the clock. "That's pretty good time,* said the broker. "No, sir," said Harry; "not very good. Danny says he does It every day in a minute and a quarter."--New York Commercial Advertiser. O B«usthe Signatuil Of • V O XI. X ̂ . • The Kind You Have Always Bought Avenged the Slight. A rich Prussian banker who had bought his title of "von" by some means or other managed to squeeze his son into a regiment of the guards. Once admitted," he was of course treat­ ed by the other officers as one of them­ selves. One day the banker gave a splendid dinner, to which he invited through his son all the officers of the regiment save one, a very nice fellow, who, however, was not noble, having no aristocratic "von" prefixed to his name. All accepted the Invitation, perfectly unconscious that one of their number had been so badly treated. When, how­ ever, they took their seats at the table, the absence of their comrade was im­ mediately noticed. Some one remark­ ed the fact to the host, who said In a loud voice, "Ah, you see, we are going to be entre nous tonight, a really se­ lect party, you know." "Then we must not disturb you," said the senior officer present, rising from his chair, and one after another the guardsmen solemnly filed out of the room, thus amply avenging the slight to which an officer of their regi­ ment bad been subjected. A Horrible Outbreak. "Of large sores on my little daughter's head developed into a case of scald head" writes: C. D. Isbill of Morgan- ton, Tenn., but Bucklen's Arnica Salve completely cured her. It's a guaran­ teed cure for Eczema, Tetter, Salt Rheum, Pimples, Sores, Ulcers and Piles. Only 25c at Julia A. Story's. TO THE DEAF. --A rich lady, cured of her deafness and noises in the head by Dr. Nicholson'8 artificial ear drums, gave $10,000 to his institute, so that deaf people, unable to procure the ear drums, may have them free. Address No. 18,823. The Nicholson Institute, 780, Eighth Avenue, New York. tf. In almost every neighborhood there is some one whose life has been saved by Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar­ rhoea, Remedy, or who has been cured of chronic diarrhoea by the use of that medicine. Such persons make a point of telling of it whenever opportunity offers, hoping that it may be the means of saving other lives. For sale by Julia A. Story. ' Great opportunity offered to good reliable men. Salary of $15 per week and expenses for man with rig to in­ troduce our Poultry Mixture and Insect Destroyer in the country. Send stamp American Mfg. Co., Terre Haute, Ind. 32-.ly uiunumiia 'tHHmiHiMiuiumtnuHMHi AVege table Preparation for As - simulating th£Food andRegula- ting ttt&Stomachs and Bowels of IM AMS ( HILDKKN Promotes Digestion,Cheerful­ ness and Rest.Con tains neither Opium ̂ Morphine nor Mineral. NOT NARCOTIC. Atop* mfOUllrSAHVELPtnmR Smi" Alx.Stntm * Jftadktlle StUfj. «• - Aaitt Stmt * Urnvrnmeit - Si G-irtontJMm *' fMtvmStzd - •ItnpryfMt' rmwWt Apcrfecl Remedy for Constipa­ tion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea, Worms,Convulsions Teverish- oessandLossoF SLEEB facsimile Signature of N1BW "YORK. CASTORIA For Infants Stud Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought V*"-, - « r. For Over AI b m o n t h : J5 D O S F S - J ' j C U N T 1 EXACT COPY OF WRAPPEB. Thirty Years TMC CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK CITY. Field Seeds ALSYKE CLOVER, • JUNE CLOVER MAMMOTH CLOVER, TIMOTHY ' ALFALFA, -- WHITE CLOVER GERMAN MiLLET, BARNARD EX­ TRA EARLY CORN, IOWA GOLD­ MINE CORN, PRIDE.OF THE NORTH CORN, PRIDE OF COLUMBIA CORN • All kinds of Garden Seeds Ladies' Waists We have a much larger variety in Shirt Waists this season than ever before. All the latest styles can be found on our counters, and at proper prices. Hats, Shirts v) ' Neckties and everything in gents' furnishings--all new and stylish. The gentlemen of this town would do well to call and see these goods. Prices are right. Carpets, Wall Paper Lace Curtains, Window Shades . & . . . • * - -- "Sleepy Eye" and t4PillsburyS^{J£stM Flour SIHON STOFFEL READ THIS And be assured that others will notice that well displayed advertisement of your *s 1 | Aug. Buchholz, -The Tailor. West McHenry, 111. Don't beflistaken If you want a stylish fitting Suit or pair of pants go to Buchholz, That is the Place He makes no humbug fit and workmanship is the best. Made up right or no sate.