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• ^ 1" > *: ^ ' GENERAL 'C:t 1 *. TEAMING . " krf all kinds. ? . i ' *Jk i 2£* « ^ i&fe Excavating and [Grading, / i t. McHenry, Illinois DON'T BE DUPED There have been placed upon the market 8«vora.l cheap reprints of an obsolete edition ' Webster's Dictionary." They are being offered under various names at a low price By dry goods dealers, grocers, agents, etc., and in a few instances us a premium forsubeerip- tions to papers. Announcements of these comparatively Worthless reprints are very misleading; for instance, they are advertised to be the substantial equivalent of a higher-priced book, when in reality so fur us we know and believe, they iii-e all, rrmn A to Z, Reprint Dictionaries, phototyiHj copies of a book of over fifty then a work of some merit instead of one Long Since Obsolete. The supplement of 10,(XX) so-called "new words," which some of these books are adver­ tised to cotit ain, was compiled by a gentle­ man who died over forty years ago, and was published before his death. Other minor additions are probably of more or less value. The Webster's Unabridged Dictionary pub­ lished by our house is the only meritorious one of that name familiar to this generation. It contains over 2000 pages, with illustra­ tions on nearly every page, and bears our imprint on the title page. It is protected by copyright from cheap imitation. valuable as this work is, we have at vast expense published a thoroughly revised successor, known throughout the world as Webster's International Dictionary. As a dictionary lasts a lifetime you should Get the Best. Illustrated pamphlet free. Address G. ft C. MERR1AM CO„ Springfield. Mau.i --just sick enough to feel heavy heeled, tired and listless, to have no appetite, to sleep badly, to have what you eat feel like lead in your stomach. Not sick enough to take to bed, but just sick enough to not know What TAKE EVERYBODY'S "BLOOD PURIFIER Prompt Positive Pare PIcslsjmH --that's what you ought to do; a good, sensible mediciue that will sharpen your appetite and put new "go" into your nerves and mus­ cles. You'll find it just wbatyotif systgm needs. I consider MICRO-GERMI a w* val­ uable medicine, unlike ftnd superior to anything I have ever taken, and 1 can recommend it for stomach and liver troubles, palpitation of the heart and nervousness. I am 69 years old. THOS. E. HARVEY, Hume, IU. PRICE ONE DOLL A* FOR FURTHER FACTS ADDBMSB The MODERN REMEDY CO. KEWANEE, ILL. 8old and GUARANTEED by JULIA A. STORY, McHenry Chicago Tribune Is a newspaper for bright and intelligent peo­ ple. It is made up to attract people who think. Is not neutral or colorless, constantly trim­ ming in an endeavor to please both sides, but it is independent in the best sense of the word. It has pronounced opinions and is fearless in expressing them, but it is always fair to ita opponents. Matters of national or vital public interest «ret more space in THE TRIBUNE than in any other paper in the West. For these reasons it Is the newspaper yon should read during the forthcoming political campaign. THE TRIBUNE'S financial columps never mislead the public. Ita facilities for gathering news, both local «nd foreign, are far superior to those of any other newspaper in the West. It presents the news in as fair a way as poa» sible, and lets its readers form their opinions. While it publishes the most comprehensive articles on all news features, if you are busy the "Summary of THE DAILY TRIBUNE" published daily on the first page gives yoa briefly all the news of the day within one col­ umn. Its sporting news is always the best, and ita Sunday Pink Sporting Section i.s better than jwoy sportiqg paper in the country. ft la ft> "cleanest" daily printed in the Weal. as Three men appeared before a }v6ge In Honan, China, and each laid claim to the same woman as his wife. Not one of them would retire in favor of the other two, but each Insisted that justice should be done to him. Finally the judge exclaimed, "Weil, if you three men cannot come to some Agree­ ment nothing remains for me but to order that the woman shall be killed, as there is no other way in which the matter can be satisfactorily settled." He then called for a large cup of wine, and when it was brought he poured In­ to it some dark powder and compelled the woman to drink it. Excited as she was, the woman speedily began to feel the effect of the strong liquor. She stammered when she tried to speak, and her flushed cheeks were an indica­ tion to the observers that the poison was working and that her end %as near at hand. This was the climax for which the judge had waited. When he saw that the woman was apparently dying, he called one of the three men who claim­ ed her as wife and bade him remove her from the courtroom. This man, however, showed no inclination to do eo, and the judge thereupon insisted that he renounce all rights to her. This he willingly did and so did the second man. Only one claimant was now left, and he agreed to remove thf^woman and to care for her until she died. Sat­ isfied that he was her real husband, the judge called him and said: "You will not be sorry for acting in this manner. Have no fear for your wife, aince she is in no danger of death. Th« liquor which she has drunk was ordl* nary wine, and the powder which 1 poured into It waa nothing but brown sugar." t ^ She'd Had Enovgh. There was a colored baptising at Sandy Bottom, Billville. The last con­ vert to go under the water was an old colored woman, who all the while had been seated in a rickety buggy drawn by an ancient mule who had been through the civil war. She came up out of the water all light, but after proceeding a short dis­ tance on her way home the mule be­ came unmanageable and upset the bug­ gy in the middle of a deep creek. The old woman, with drenched gar­ ments, clung to a "foot log" just as the parson who had recently baptized her rode up. He heard her Bwearing at the refrac­ tory, mule in vigorous terms; then, tak­ ing her in his own buggy and driving to dry land, he said: "Sister Ca'line, you hes done ios' all de salvation what come ter yon by de fust baptism; so you must stop right heah en be baptized over ergin." "No, suh!" was the reply. "I ain't gwine in dat water no mo'! Didn't dat ole mule baptize me de secon' time!"-- Atlanta Constitution. ift tp A Cariona Wood Carviiif. Salem, Mass., is the home of the East India Marine hall, which contains col­ lections of the Essex institute and of the East India Marine society. The scientific cabinets of the Essex Insti­ tute are extensive and well arranged, and the collections of the Marine soci­ ety include many curiosities from ori­ ental countries and other distant na­ tions. Among the numerous curiosities is • piece of wood carving in the form of two hemispheres 1% inches in diame­ ter, in the concavities of which are carved representations on the one hem­ isphere of heaven and on the other of hell. There are 110 full length figures in the carving, and the whole 1s very skillfully executed. It is said to be the work of an Indian monk net jthe fourteenth century. Smart Alex. A man being About to die summoned his four Sons to his side and said: "My sons, I will leave to John one- third of my estate, to Alex one-fifth, to James one-half and to Thomas one* fourth, and thus you will all Share Equally." John and James and Thomas took Paper and Pencil and began figuring, but Alex took his Hat and started out. "Where are you going?" the other Three asked. "Do you not Intend fig­ uring out the Problem?" "Not much," said Alex. "I am Going for a Lawyer to break the Will." Moral--Sometimes the Lawyer can Relieve the Heirs of Much of the Fig­ uring.--Baltimore American. E Idle, bat Witty. He was an idle Irish boy, but he had the Celtic wit. He had shipped on board of a man-of-war, where he an­ noyed the boatswain by his laziness. Seeing him on the maintop one jgprn- tng gazing idly out to sea, the boat­ swain called out to him: "Come down out of that, ye rashcal! Come down out of that, and Oi'll give ye a dozen whacks wid me rope!" "Faith, sorr," replied the boy, "Oi wouldn't come if ye offered m? two 4oaen."--Harper's Young Peopled Deep Water Conference. "You are not a real fish; you are only an Imitation," said the flying fish. "You can stay under water only an hour or two. and then you have to come to the surface to breathe." "That's all right," retorted the whale. "You are only an imitation "bird. I can live under the wate^ longer than you can live out of it" This, dear children, teaches us that those who dwell in water should not try to put on airs.--Chicago Tribune. . Abaentnalnded. *Mwentmindedness is a bad thing In business," said the fat man. "Ain't it though?" responded the lean man. ' "Just look at me, for Instance. I went and lost one of my best custom­ ers last week by addressing a letter to him as 'Jjohn Hhenry Lloyd/ "--In­ dianapolis Proas. CARL SCHUfit OH BEYAff. < ; Carl ftchurs, who is now sup- "' porting William JenninsfsBrjan, ! ! said in; the Peoria tabernacle four years ago, among other things equally scathing: "Abra­ ham Lincoln and Bryan. To as­ sociate these names together as allies 'in a common cause--aye, to pronounce them together In . the sajrne breath--is not only a 3. fraud--it is a sacrilege." •fnfuti *-* * t t > • »- i » t a • a. 'I TT 'H T Air i* 'I'TT r'i' i'H 4' iJ'll V ALSCHTJIKES DOCTRINES. When Kxeeated Have Always Panic and Empty Dinner Pall*. When all theories of government are boiled down and reduced to their last analysis they resolve themselves into the problem of a full or an empty din­ ner pail. That early apostle of democracy in Great Britain, William Cobbett, said that the difference between a rule by oligarchs and a government of the peo­ ple by the people was that the latter was "the gospel of a full belly for the workman, while the former was the gospel of luxury for a few." Nothing truer was ever said. Our own Declaration of Indepen­ dence declares that "We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal; that they are en^ dowed by their Creator with certain inalieuable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of hap­ piness." Now it Is certain that hungry men cannot be happy. It is certain that men who toil from early morning to early night for wages that are insuf­ ficient to procure proper shelter, prop­ er food, proper fuel and proper cloth­ ing for their wives and children, can not be happy. It is certain that pov­ erty tends to subservience, and sub­ servience is opposed to liberty. It is certain that neither physicial nor men­ tal life can be maintained in & high condition where poverty freezes the vi- * Gailor, at a banquet at which the bishop of Kentucky was present, told this story on the latter gentleman: "In one of the backwoods towns of Kentucky," said Bishop Gailor, "the pastor of the Baptist church gave ont this notice before the sermon one Sun­ day morning: 44 'I am told and have been partially convinced,' he said, that it is my Chris­ tian duty to give the following notice-- to wit: That a man who styles himself "bishop of Kentucky" is about to visit this town and will hold forth in the courthouse on Wednesday evening. I desire to add, however, my brethren, that in the humble opinion of your pastor, the place for members of this congregation on Wednesday night will be in this place listening to your own pastor rather than listening to the words of that pompous prelate at the courthouse.' "On the following Thursday morning the Baptist went out upon the street seeking for some of his congregation who had not been at the Wednesday evening meeting. The first one he found was a deacon. " 'Well, deacon,' he asked, 'were yoa to the courthouse last night 1* " 'Yes,'said the deacon. " 'I trust' said the parson, with soma irony in his tone, 'you were edified by the words of the pompous prelate.' " 'Now, looky here, parson,' said the deacon, 'that man ain't no pompous prelate; no such thing. He's just as common as there is. What do you reck­ on he did? He preached in his shirt sleeves!' "--Indianapolis Sentinel. IfSitvSS ? - • v ; Am Inimitable r#at The sailors of three men-of-war, American, French and British, while in the same harbor, were competing with each other for the best display of seamanship. A Yankee went to the top of the mainmast and stood there ith an arm extended. A Frenchman en went aloft and extended both ms. . An Irishman on board the British ip thought if he could stand there ith a leg and an.arm extended he ould be declared the most daring llor. Nimbly he mounted to the higli- 2<bt point and attempted to do so, but ;.v& • I /-»| « £* a % * . j the last moment lo6t his balance and ,1U WlOCKS SatlStaCtO" through the rigging toward the ; • jThe various ropes against which he jime in contact broke his fall, and fhen near the deck he succeeded In tasplng a rope. To this he hung for couple of seconds and then dropped jghtly on the deck, landing safely on 4is feet Folding his arms triumphantly, as If t were all In the programme, he glanc- toward the rival ships and joyously tclalmed: 'There, yon frog eating and pig stick- lg foreigners, beat that if you can!"-- follier's Weekly. Try Evanson's mule. iV • «, .Uj»l been the lot of the farmer, cbanlc and the laborer. v Bryan's Fal»a Pradlcttolil. The following is o^ly one of the false predictions made by Mr. Bryan in one of his numerous speeches in the campaign of 1896: "If McKlnley and the Republican party are successful and put in power for the next four years, wages will be decreased, hard times will come upon us, and over the land the price of wheat will g<o down and the price of gold wil go up; mortgages on our homes will be foreclosed by the money lenders; shops and factories will close. We will export no goods and will Im­ port from foreign lands ail the goods we use; thus will ruin, want and mis­ ery be with us." Not content with the ruin whdeh he predicted in 1896 and the fact that his prediction was false, lie now goes one step further and predicts the complete overthrow and ruin of the republic in the following words: "Today we are engaged In a con­ troversy which will determine wheth­ er we are to have a republic in which the government derives its Just pow­ ers from the consent of the governed, or an empire in which brute force is the only recognized source of power. When such an Issue Is raised there can be only two parties--the party, what­ ever its name may be, which believes In a republic and a party, whatever Ita name, which believes In an empire." Big Aurora Factory Club. At Aurora, the home of Alschuler, duflng the noon hour one day last week, the employes of the scraper works in that city organized a Repub­ lican marching club, which starts with a membership of 229 stanch Republic­ ans. who will work hard for the suc­ cess of McKlnley, Roosevelt, Yates and the wihole Republican ticket. The em­ ployes of this Aurora industry have enjoyed prosperity for four years and thev want four years more of it. The club is officered by C. B. Rukgaber, president; John Claussen, vice presi­ dent; W. D. Foulke. secretary; Albert Ejsser, treasurer, and W. L. Cox, cap­ tain. • ; Laborers A*** Satisfied. Lockport Phoenix: The Democratic leaders will hardly dare to come into Will county this fall and talk about free silver and 16 to 1 when in the presence of the laboring men. The laboring men are very well satisfied with what Bryan calls the 200-cent dol­ lar, and have no desire to have the dollar of the present day in this coun­ try changed for the 50-eent dollar about which the Democratic party had so much to say four years ago. McKlnley'a Letter Pld It. Thomas D. Knight, former assistant prosecuting attorney for Cook county, and for all his life a leading Demo­ cratic worker, has announced his con­ version to Republicanism and desire to make some Republican speeches. "I wavered about coming over to Re­ publicanism," he said, "until I read President McKinley's letter of accept­ ance, and that settled me and the question. Imperialism I believe to , ;.y* Legend af the Violin. An ancient legend tells us that ona ly as Orpheus, son of Apollo and the use Calliope, was walking by the sea, billing In soft cadence a song taught him by \he celebrated teacher Linos, he was attracted by the sound of sweet music, which seemed but the echo of his own glorious voice. He walked along, singing, and the sound ap­ proached, as If to meet him, till finally it sang at his very feet. Glancing down, he saw the shell of a turtle, which had been cast high and dry upon the beach and left there by the receding waves. The little thing had died and dried up so that only the sinews, shriveled to strings, and the iSiuaiucu. The ui'leu Up 81B6W8 were tightly stretched across the hol­ low shell, and the wind, as It llBted, touched the strings, causing them to vibrate over the shell sounding board and give forth the sweet, sad tones. Enchanted, he bore his treasure home and from it fashioned the viol shell, with which be ever after accompanied his voice, and the nymph Eurydice, en­ chanted by its magic, became his bride. --National Magazine. ̂-. OMrgv G«wld'a Read? Wit. % beard a story about George Gould which goes to show that the possession of great wealth doesn't necessarily preclude the possession of a passing ready wit It was several or even more years ago, while the elder Gould was still alive, that a woman I know met George Gould at a dinner. He was presented to her quite casually, and she did not catch his name. Conver­ sation turned on operations in Wall street, and the woman I am speaking of launched out Into a perfect torrent of ladylike abuse of Jay Gould. Ev­ erybody tried to stop her, but she per­ ceived nothing except that people were looking at ttie young man. Turning to him, she asked: "Do you know Jay Gould T/ "Well, yes," he said; "I've had some business dealings with him."--Wash­ ington Post Adnata nnd Sculptnre. President John Quincy Adams once asserted that he would not give 50 cents for all the works of Phidias and Praxiteles, adding, "I hope America will not think of aculpture for two cen­ turies to come." When some one quoted this to Wil­ liam Morris Hunt he asked dryly, "Does that sum of money really repre­ sent Mr. Adams' estimate of the sculp­ ture of those artists or the value which he places upon 50 cents?" A Diplomatic Poet. An eastern poet has penned some rhymes that show he is a born diplo­ mat Here Is a sample verse: Aad the goldenrod droops down its head In tullenness of despair, For its splendor that fliuned is outshone sad shamed Sy the gold of Evsdac's.hair! If that isn't a neat and unobjection­ able way of- calling a girl redheaded, we don't know what la. -- Cleveland mala Daal|g|:.w; • • rf-r -J F U R N I T U R E For anything- and everything ,n'Xu, • in the Furniture line, at the lowest possible prices call ^ ,.,4 JACOB AUSTEN^^": ILLINOIS HcHENRY, i \ * ' , •' ' '/J- f I l ' ':'X '• v 1 \ f < * '-;7 r* / \ ' ' ._i„ ,« " V , ^ » ',<• „ . j * * , " y <; If its in the market you | pin find 14; here l/ J WHAT ? * .irT,iVV, • ' V*"- V * Everythitigf it* of fresh Vegetables cOid fYtiff. i i j Staple and Fancy^ ̂ ftice^ ^ f ies is always complete and fresh. • We Sell Strictly for Cash „ 3 r T The CYCLONE GROCERY West McHenry i Long distance telephone 903 Citizens' telephone 32 Illinois • i>yfdl|f tftTTITttlttttllTMITItllTf ITT limit II PHLIP JAEGER - General Commission merchant Stall 1 $ 3, Fulton St. Wholesale Market, Chicago, Illinois. Special attention given to the sale of Dressed Beef, Mutton, Hogs, Veal, Poultry* Hides, Etc. Butter and Eggs This is the oldeat house on tike street Tags and price lists furnished on application. COLD STORAGE FREE. We guarantee to duplicate Chica­ go's lowest prices for the same qual­ ity of good« - - - t t t t t $4 Pants, French cut, for $3.50 Pants worth $2.50, for 1.50 All Wool Coats, worth $8.50, for 2.35 Fine Black Suits, worth $12, for 8.90 Men's Shirts, farmers' satin 45 Best Boys Shoes in the county, worth $2.00, for 1.50 Boys' Waists and Knee Pant*.. .20 Shoe Strings, per pair .01 Boys' Suspenders, worth 25c... .15 Men's White Hdkfs 5, 10 and 15c E. Lawlus, Tailor, McHenry Opposite Rlveralde Hotel -Thirty-five years in the business -- miiim>a»iMHi>iimn--mwttiiiiHHiimi Wholesale and retail dealer in I «m in the Market For Beef Veal ;. rtatfeM Hegs and Poultry Olve • a call f ^ ̂ DO YOU OWN « A HORSE ip If you do, just bear in mind that I haveonhand a complete |^,pf FLY NETS DUSTERS and all kinds of summer at reasonable prices WM. MERZ, - McHenry. 4 m Smoked Meats, Sdusage MoBenqr • Xilinoia DON'T BE FOOLED! Take the geaNlae, erlffiaal ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA Made oaly by Madlaea Madk ctee Ce.. Madiaea. WliTlt keese yea mH. Oar leads P