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m lie McHeory PiMiler PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY til McHCHRT PLAINDfAlfR COMPANY. F. K- ORANGKR. W. A. ORIFTTY, J. B. PKHRY, 5 -N5! Pre* Xww*.. faua. D. SOSOOKMAKMR, Bditor. &j|ce In Bank Building- Telephone,S&IR& TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: OH yew : Six months, Wets. Three month*. 40cts. Thursday, November 27, 190a. Freak* mt the TaHC. ' The following amusing details of the freaks of the custom house are told in the Munchener Zeitung: A German gen­ tleman returning from southwest Afri­ ca brought with him a tiny monkey weighing about two pounds. From Tsnga to Genoa the animal was con- •eyed gratis. Thence to the Swiss frontier 15d. was charged on It as "a bird." The St Gothard railway of­ ficials, however, viewed it as "a dog," and charged 7s., while on the Eastern Swiss railway It became a mere '•pack­ age," liable to 8d. Through JBaden and Wurtternberg the animal was passed free, but at Stuttgart it again became *%: doe" and cost another 17<L Coughs 'My wife had a deep-seated cough for three years. I purchased two bottles of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, Urge size, and it cured her com­ pletely." _ J. H. Burge, Macon, Col. Probably you know of cough medicines that re­ lieve little coughs, all coughs, except deep ones! The medicine that has been curing the worst of deep coughs for s ixty years is Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. TKFAT aim: 25c.. Mc., II. All draft'*1*- Consult your doctor. If he says take it, tlMn do a* he says. If he tells you not to take it, then don't take it. He knows. LMTI it with htm. We are willing. J , C. AYER CO.. Lowell, Mas*. 7 CtekBty Riddle*. **Why Is a crane like a well known ahellfiBh?" "Because it's an oyster" (a bolster). It is stated that a well known riddle was written by a coetermonger. The zfddle in question is a charade and runs as follows: My first's a little bird as 'op*. My second's needful in 'ay crops. My ' ole Is good witb mutton chops. The answer, of course, is "sparrow- grass," which the learned Dr. Parr al­ ways insisted on using in preference to the politer "asparagus."--Notes and Queries. Hcdlelae, Up hi • little Vermont town they tefl a story of an old nurse. She was the kind of an old nurse to be found In small towns, who comes, after muck urging, to "tend" a case and who has many Salrey Gamp peculiarities. Miss Sally, as she was called, was Induced to come to the house of the sick woman and take charge. She moved In--cob pipe, batch of starched aprons, knitting and all. After the good creature had seen the case through she said to the doctor, "Doc, kin I take my toll?" "What's that, Sally?" asked the visit­ ing physician who had come from the capital city and was amused and a lit­ tle irritated by the old woman's ways. "I mean the medicine," said the nurse complacently. •The medicine!" exclaimed the doc­ tor. "What on earth do you want with the medicine?" No fifth wheel to a wagon was ever more redundant than left over medi­ cines. "I puts It In me jug," replied the old woman slowly, "and then I gives it out occasionally when there ain't no doctor nigh." The visiting physician roared with laughter, but sobered down when the story of old Sally's "Jug" medicine was explained to him. That there were not more victims to her unique meth­ ods of cure was a mystery,--New York Herald. ABtUy>D*pcta Diet. "Dyspepsia would no longer be the national disease In America if the peo­ ple of the country would adopt a plain diet similar to that of Norway and Sweden. Gout Is unknown among Swedes and Norwegians, and the rosy cheeks and clear complexions of the young people of those countries are the result of the simple food the chil­ dren eat," the United States consul at Bergen, Norway, says. "Hot rolls and white bread are rarely seen in Sweden. Knackbrode, or hard bread, is the standard article of food. It is made of ground oats and rye. There is no yeast In the bread, and it is rolled into thin wafers, which are baked and hung up where they will keep perfectly dry. Swedes est this bread and drink milk for two meals a day and have one meal j at which they eat meat and potatoes. Sweets are almost unknown. Children are allowed to eat candy only on state occasions." Pretty Hlgb Authority. General Winfield Scott, the hero of the Mexican war, used a secretary for all his correspondence, private as well as official. Once, in the absenc^f his secretary, he undertook to write an or­ der for the transferring of some pro­ visions, and spelled "wagon" "waggon." Later, the secretary in looking through the various memoranda, etc., found the order and detected the error. "General," he asked affably, "by what authority do you spell 'wagon' with a double 'g*?" Scott never turned a hair as he re­ plied without a moment's hesitation: "By what authority? By the au­ thority of the major general command­ ing the armies of the United States, •irf What better authority do you want?" The Plaindealer from now until Jan. nary 1> *904 for ft. 50. Thousands Save Kidney Trouble •ad Don't Know it How To Find Out. FBI a bottle or common glass with your water «uiu let 11 stand twenty-four hours. * sediment or set­ tling indicates an unhealthy condi­ tion of the kid­ neys; if it stains your linen it is evidence of kid­ ney trouble; too frequent desire to pass it or pain in the back is also convincing proof that the kidneys and blad­ der are out of order. { Whit to Do. There is comfort in the knowledge so often expressed, that Dr. Kilmer's Swamp- Root, the great kidney remedy fulfills every wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the back, kidneys, liver, bladder and every part of the urinary passage. It corrects inability to hold water and scalding pain in passing it, or bad effects following use of liquor, wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant necessity of being compelled to go often during the day, and to get up many times during the night. The mild and the extra­ ordinary effect of Swamp-Root is soon realized. It stands the highest for its won­ derful cures of the most distressing cases, if you need a medicine you should have the best. Sold by druggists in 50c. and$l. sizes. You may have a sample bottle_ of this wonderful discovery and a book that tells more about it, both sent absolutely free by mail. Address Dr Kilmer & Home of Bw-unp-Root Co., Binghamion, N. Y. When writing men­ tion l eading this generous offer in paper. Standard* of HeMsreneat. The "foot" is named from the length of that member in a full grown man. SOUK* say that it was called so from the length of the foot of a cer­ tain English king, but it Is believed to have been.n standard of measure­ ment among the ancient Egyptians. The cubit is from the Latin cubitus, an elbow, and is the distance from the elbow to the end of the middle finger. Fathom is from the Aryan, fat, to extend, and deuotes the distance from tip to tip of the fingers when the arms of an average sized man are fully extended. Diamond* Under Water. An Imitation diamond Is never so brilliant as a genuine stone. If your eye is not experienced enough to de­ tect the difference, a very simple test is to place the stone under water. The Imitation stone is practically extin­ guished, while a genuine diamond sparkles even under water and Is dis­ tinctly visible. When possible, place a genuine stone beside the possible Imi­ tation under water, and the contrast will be apparent to the least experi­ enced eyes. All ) Irtah Railroad i>n*sle. A Sanita Fe conductor on a Los An­ geles train told a reporter of the San Bernardino Sun that his grandfather remembered a sign which was erected at a point on a double track railroad in Ireland to the effect that "when two trains meet here they must come to a standstill until they have passed each other." O A S T O H I A . Bears the y) The Kind You Have Always I 8ignatum „ /j^ «f Bargains •v&Y" <• .Wj' 'V'. Hti opportunity to save many dollar*. Cbe Coal Strife* has done It. On lflonday and Cucsday* December 1 and 2» T will offer for sale any and all goal Burning Heating Stoves in my Store for what they have cost me which is about ten per cent, less than T can buy the same Stoves for today. Remember the dates and get you a Stove cheap* Respectfully Yours* F. L. au)»i»arrarii(saaafflcfli<inititifff TrrrrnmmrrrnftitT«in»ffiT7(ifisj California Fully described and illustrated in an ar­ tistically arranged and beautifully print­ ed book of sixty pages, just issued by the Chicago and North-Western R'y; also portraying the Bcenic beauties, com­ mercial, industrial and transportation advantages of this wonderful state; of particular interest to those contemplat­ ing a trip to the Pacific coast. Copy forwarded to any address on receipt of four cents in stamps by W. B. Knis- kern, Passenger Traffic Manager, Chi­ cago. If you have a bad cold you need a good reliable medicine like Chamber­ lain's Cough Remedy to loosen and re­ lieve it, and to allay the irritation and inflamation of the throat and lungs. The soothing and healing properties of this remedy and the quick cures which it effects make it a favorite everywhere. For sale by all druggists. Patient WatWra. "Mary, what are you sitting out on that damp porch for? Don't you know It's 11 o'clock?" "George and I are looking for the new comet, ma." "But the new comet Isn't due for several nights." "Well, we are in no hurry, ma."- Cleveland Plain Dealer. Hot So Stranse. It doesn't seem so remarkable that n diamond will cut glass when you con­ sider that It will even make an Impres­ sion on a woman's heart The heart of a man Is never as hard as his bead.--Lamar tine. Want Column. T^OR SALE--A new seven-room bouse and two lots, woodshed and chicken coop, young orchard of all different kinds of fruit and shrubbery. Will be sold very cheap. Call at Plalndealer. March 1. T»OATB FOR SALE--I have 30 boats to Bell -*-* at prices ranging up to 110.00. Call early and malce your selection. All boats in good condition. Ben Stilling. 21-it. T WANT a good farm. Give price and de- A scribe fully. L. Pres. 21-2t* 348 E. Ohio St., Chicago, 111. OAff FILING--Anyone desiring their saws ^ filed should leave their orders with Osmun Bros, where I will call for same. 1 have had thirty-five years experience and guarantee the best of satlufactlon. All work done promptly. IMt* PITER J. MESLEIN TJKJR SALE!--The Mrs. Blackman house on Main street In West McHenry. Property in good condition. For particulars inquire of H. C. MEAD, 19-4t% West McHenry. A/TAN AG Ell WANTED--We desire to employ X*J" a trustworthy lady or gentleman to man­ age our business ln this County and adjoining territory. Our house is well and favorably known. 120.00 straight cash salary all expens­ es paid each week by check direct from head­ quarters. Expense money udvanced; prev­ ious experience unnecessary; position perma­ nent. Address Thomas J. Cooper, Manager, 1040 Caxton Building. Chicago, 111. 20-7t MORI LIVES ARB 8AVKD -BY USING... Dr. King's New Discovery, Consumption, Coughs and Colds Than By All Other Throat And Lung Remedies Combined. This wonderful medicine positively Cures Consumption, Coughs, Colds* Bronchitis, Asthma, Pneumonia, Hay Fever,Pleurisy, LaGrippe, Hoarseness. Sore Throat, Croup and Whooping Cough. NO CURE. MO PAY. EriotWo. A$l. Trial Bottle hn. "IF YOU SEE IT IN OUR AD. ITS SO.' THE BEAUTIFUL SHOW is liable to cover the earth at most any time now and it would behoove you to make preparations beforehand. Supply yourself With good Footwear and escape all the fall ailments. We can show the finest and best made Shoes in McHenry at prices to please. Also Rubbers for everybody. Don't take our word for it. Call and see the stock and be convinced that we know the Shoe business from A to Z. WOOLEN GOODS! It is now time to buy your supply of Woolen Goods, such as Bed Blankets, Underwear, Hosiery, Etc. We have not a large stock of cheap goods, but a well as­ sorted stock of the best that is at prices to suit the times. It is liable to turn cold at any lime. Buy Woolens now and be prepared. BUTTERICK PATTERNS! We are agents for the famous Butte rick Patterns. You know what they are! We also take su inscriptions for the DeliniatOr. The only authority on i!ie latest fashions. A . B O H L A N D E R AMERICA SN Editorially Fearless. Consistently Republican. News from all of the world--Welti written, original stories--Answers to queries--Articles on Health, the Home, New Books, and on Work About the Farm and Garden. The Weekly Inter Ocem Is a member of the Associated Press the only Western Newspaper re­ ceiving the entire telegraphic news service of the New York Sun and syeclal cable of the New York World--dally reports from over 2,000 special correspondents throughout the country. V ~B A ~R ONE D O L L A R Subscribe for The I'laindealcr and The Weekly later Ocean one year, both papers for f 1.75. * Grand Chance to make ImMtUaf Hat ts a*. Sufferer--I can't stand It any longer; I'm going to the dentist's this instant to have this tooth out Scientist--Nonsense! Your tooth doesn't aehe; It is only your imagina­ tion. Sufferer--Then I'll bare him pull out my imagination. on a Suit of Clothes, made by union Tailors on the bench. All garments are sponged, shrank, and sewed with silk. I have sold 18 Suits this fall and not a misfit in the lot The Tailors that do our work own their own mill, henoe the low prices. The firm states that E. Lawlus is the man that always gives exact measurements. Your pick out of 200 Simples E. LAWLUS, T A I L O R . TRUCK FARMING IN THE SOUTH. Does Truck Farming in the SQUth pay? . Write the underslgued for a free copy of Illi­ nois Central Circular No. 3, and note what Is said concerning it. J. F. MEBBT. Assistant General Passenger Agent Illinois Central Railroad, Dubuque, la. Men's Shoes Heavy, good wearers, regular price $1.75, Special price 1.29 * Excellent BARGAIN Opportunities! sue befhs Ttorsdiy, Novenber 20. ad will CNtimte (or two weeks. Every item below illustrites tbe tot Out we sell goods (toper tin my otHcr store la McHenry, wlkl Kcmts far m npMly tacrcislot business. Supporters Men's hose supporters, regular price 26c, special 10c Child's Shoes The very beet, regular price $1.80, special 98c Heavy Pants Big line, half wool and half cotton, regular $L60 980 W orking Shirts 1 For boys, regular price 85c, special 20c Knitting Yarn Fleishers very best, worth $1.15 per pound, special 88c Thread Machine, very best, per spool, 3o Table Covers Regular price $1.16, 10-4, special 75o & Underwear Men's, all wool, the yery best, three colors, regular $1,60 98c Scissors Regular prioe 60c, special price 25c Petticoats Ladies, regular price 5Uc, special 25c Suspenders Boys, regular price 10c, special 7c Shoes Youth's, sizes 2 to 5}, tegular price $1.76, special 1.25 "Wool Pants All sizee, . worth $2.36, special 1.25 Dress Shirts For men, regular price 75c, special 39c Sweaters Men's, very best for the money regular price 75c, 39c Silk Thread special lc Ginghams Very beet regular price 7c, special 5c Underwear Boy's, all wool, 28 to 86, regular price $1.26,.special 69c Corsets Regular price $1.00,19 to26, special 50c Petticoats All wool, regular price $1.00, special 59c Brushes Tooth brushes, very best regular price 10c, special U 6c Ladies Shoes Very beet regular price $2.00 special 129 Wool Pants All sizes, best quality, worth $2.60, special 1.49 Pants Boy's corduroy, very best regular price 75c, special 45c Mittens • Men's cloth mittens, regular price 25c, special 12c Tennis Flannel Begular price 12c. special 8c yd Toweling Worth 8c per yard, special 4Ko Child's Mitts special per pair 10c Handkerchiefs For men, red, white and blue, special 3o Petticoats Black satin, regular price $8.00, special 98c Thimbles Regular prioe 5c, special 2c Rubbers For children, regular price 60c, special 36c Pants Hair lined, all wool, all sizes, regular price $2.60 special 1.59 Overalls Youth's, 26 to 82 ̂ regular price 60e» special 35c Cloth Gloves For men, regular price 10c per pair, special 7c Shaker Flannel i Regular price 6c per yd special 4c Underwear K , Child's, from 24 to 80, beet fleeced lined 24c Ladies Mittens Regular price 50c, special 25c Blankets dOri, regular price $1.00, special 69c Stick Pins Regular price 5c, special 2 c Embroidery ) Special price per yard 3c Rubbers Men's, regular price 76c special | _r 59c Pants Corduroy, very best worth $2 26, special price 1.45 Men's Socks All wool,, regular price 28c, special 19c Jackets For men, blue and black, closing out at ^9o Shaker Flannel worth 8c per yard, special 6c Underwear Ladies, very best regular price 60c, special 40c Underwear Fleeced lined, baby's, 16 and 18, regular price 20c, special 125^0 Towels Per pair, Special pries 19o Shoe Strings Regular price per bunch, 10c, special 7o Pencils per dozen 7c Rubbers JLadiee, I, regular price 60o I special 1 49c Working Pants Very beet, well made, regular pijce $1.00, special. 69c * Child's Hose 6 to 8, bicycle, extra heavy, regular price 26c, special 12j4o V Hats For men, every day wear, worth 75, special 49c Table Covers Regular price $1.00 each, 8-4, special 09c Underwear Men's, all wool fleeced lined, regu- price 76c, special 40o Underwear Children's, 90 and 82, special price each 17o Pants For boys, every day wear, 26.to 80. regular price 76c 59c Girls' Caps Regular prioe 86c, special 23c Slates Vejy best, each 10c Dress Shoes I For men, I regular $8.00 quality, I special ̂ 1 i 2 25 Overalls For men, in blue, all sizee, special 39c Socks Very beet Rockford, special pries, 8 for 20c « Caps For men, all sizes, special 23c Bigest line of Overcoats and Clothing in McHenry, at the lowest possible prices. J. Hurwitz, West McHenry. Rubber Boots Very beet, regular price $8.26, special 2.25 Ijamps Parlor lamps* regular prioe $2.00, - special 1.15 Blue Denim Rsgtt^r prioe 16c per yard, at llo Combs Very best, each 7c Duck Coats Regular price $1.75 e. special prioe " 1.19 Working Shirts For men, double front' good quality, worth 60c, special 35c All-Wool Hose Ladles, very beet, worth 86c, special 23c Caps For boys, all sizee, special 23c Bigest line of Overcoats and Clothing in McHenry, at the lowest possible prices. J. Hurwitz, West McHenry. Writing Paper 94 sheets with 94 envelopes, fancy box 8c Neokties i Up-to-date Bows, at 18* o Suspenders The fireman and police brand, regular 96c at 15c Ink Carter's very best, per bottle 46