The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Avrm»0f cuAf/AM MeRKHj- CHAPTER Vlll.-r-Continued. "Vcur r5|gord speaks for itself, sen­ ator," t pat in, politely but pointedly. "You . are very discouraging, Say- ler," he said forlornly. "But I refuse to be discouraged. The party needs you, and I have come to do my duty, and I won't leave without doing it," "I have nothing to do with the com­ pany's political contributions," said I. "You will have to see Mr. Ramsay, as usual." He waved his hand. "Let me ex­ plain, please. Roover is about to re­ ign--as you probably know, he's men chairman of the party's state ommittee for 17 years. I've come to sic you to take hjs place." , It was impossible wholly to hide my amazement, my stupefaction. Had l;e had the shadowiest suspicion of my plans, of the true" inwardness of. the Croffutt-Dominick movement, he would as readily have offered me his own head, in fact, he was offering me his own head; for, with the money and the other resources at my com­ mand, I needed only this place of offi­ cial executive of the party to make me master. And here he was, giving me the place, under the delusion that he could-use me* as he had been using Roover. He must have misread my expres­ sion, for he went on: "Don't refuse on impulse, Sayler. I and the others will do everything to make your duties as light as possible." "I should not be content to be a mere figurehead, as Roover has been," J warned him. He had come, in his desperation to try to get the fnan who combined the advantage of be­ ing, as he supposed, Dominick'l enemy, and a member of 'one of the state's financially influential families. He had come to cozen me into letting him use me in return for a mockery of an honor. And I w*s simply tum­ bling him, or rather, permitting him to tumble himself, into the pit he had dug for me. Still, I felt that I owed it to myself to give him a chance. "If I take the place, I shall fill it to tlfe best of my ability." "Certainly, certainly--we want your ability." Behind his bland cordial mask I saw the spider eyes gleaming and the spider clawB twitching as he felt his net quiver under hovering wings. "We want you--we need you, Sayler. We expect you to do your •test." My best! What would my "best" have been, had I been only what he thought--dependent upon him for sup­ plies--surrounded by his lieutenants, hearing nothing but what he chose to tell me, and able to execute only such orders as he gave or approved! "I am sure we can count on you,** he urged. "I will try it," said I, after a fur­ ther hesitation that was not altogeth­ er show. He did not linger--he wished to give me no chance to change my mind and fly his net. I was soon alone, staring dazedly at my windfall and wondering if fortune would ever give me anything without attaching to it that which would make me doubt whether my gift had nyjre of bitter or more of sweet in it. Dunkirk announced the selection of a new chairman that very afternoon --as a forecast, of course, for there was the formality of my "election" by the 63 members of the state commit­ tee to be gone through. His proposi­ tion was well received. The old-line politicians remembered my father; the reformers recalled my fight against Dominick; the business men liked my connection with the Ramsay company, assuring stability and re­ gard for "conservatism;" the "boys" were glad because I had a rich wife and a rich brother-in-law. The "boys" always cheer when a man with money develops political aspirations. I did not see Woodruff until I went down to the capital to begin my in­ itiation. I came upon him there, in the lobby of the Capital City hotel. As we talked for a moment like bare­ ly acquainted strangers saying noth­ ing that might not have been repeated broadcast, his look was asking: "How did you manage to trap Dunkirk into doing it?" I never told him the secret, and so never tore out the foun­ dation of his belief in me as a po­ litical wizard. It is by such judicious use of their few strokes of good luck that successful men get their glamour of the superhuman. In the eyes of the average man, who is lazy or in­ termittent, the result of plain, inces­ sant, unintermittent work is amaz­ ing enough. All that is needed to make him cry: "Genius!" is a little luck adroitly exploited. I left Woodruff to join Dunkirk. "Who is that chap over tljere-^-Dr. Woodruff?" I asked him. "Woodruff?" replied the senator. "Oh, a lobbyist He does a good deal for Roebuck I believe. An honest fel­ low--for that kind--they tell me. It's always well to be civil to them." Dunkirk's "initiation" of me into the duties of my office wiped-away my last lingering sense of double, or, at least, doubtful, dealing. He told me nothing that was notv calculated to mislead me. And he was so glib and so frank and so sympathetic that, had I not known the whole machine from the inside, I should have been his dupe. '*'• It is not pleasant to suspect that, In some particular instance, one of your fellow men takes you for a simple-mind­ ed fool. To know yon are being so regarded, not in one instance# but in general; Ts / the highest degree exas­ perating, no matter how well your .vanity is under control. Perhaps I should not have been able to play my part and deceive my de­ ceiver had 1 been steadily at head- little and then gave orders, apparent­ ly contenting myself with the credit for what other men were doing in my name. In fact, so obvious did I make my neglect as chairman that the party pres3 commented on it and covertly criticized me. Dunkirk mildly re­ proached me for lack of interest. He did not know--indeed, he never knew •--that his chief Lieutenant, Thurston, in charge at headquarters, had gone over to "the enemy" and was Wood-' ruff's right-hand man. And it is not necessary for me to* say where Wood­ ruff got the orders he transmitted to Thurston. My excuse for keeping aloof was that. I was about to be transformed into a man of family. As I was fond of children I had looked forward to this with more eagerness than I ven­ tured to show to my wife. She might not have liked it, eager though she was also. As soon as she knew that her longings wpre to be satisfied she entered upon a course "of preparation so elaborate that I was secretly much amused, though I thoroughly ap­ proved and encouraged her. Every moment of her days was laid out in ... He snatched the bit of linen from me and buried his face in it The baby was a boy--fortunately, for I don't admire the name Edwina, and I shouldn't have liked to handicap a child with it. Carlotta and Ed were delighted, but I felt a momentary keen disappointment, I fca£ wanted a girl I Girls never leave their pucuta ccm~ I pletely, as boys do. Also I should rather have looked forward to my child's having a sheltered life, one'in whitfh the fine and beautiful ideals do nut- feave to be molded into the gross, ugly fOftt^s pf the practical. I may say, in pasting;, $»at I deplore tW en­ trance of womenv ipto the worlii .of struggle. Women are-the natural and only custodians of the ideals. We men are compelled to wander, often to wander far, from the ideal. XJnless our women remain aloof from action, how are the ideals to be preserved? Man for action; woman to purify man, when he returns stained with the blood and sin of battle. But--with the birth of the first child I began to appreciate how pro­ foundly right my mother had been about marriage and its source of hap­ piness. There are other flowers than the rose--other flowers, and beautiful, the most beautiful for its absence. CHAPTER To the Seats of the Mighty. We, our party, carried the state, as uSu&l. Our legislative majority was increased by Hi to 37 on joint ballot. It was certain that Dunkirk's succes­ sor would be of the same political faith; but would he be Dunkirk? At first that venerable custodian of the plum tree hadn't a doubt. He had come to look on it as his personal property. But, after he had talked to legislators-elect from various parts of the state, he became uneasy. He found that the party's members were dangerously evenly divided between , w "Your Record Speaks for Itself, Senator," I Put in, Politely but Point­ edly. some duty Imposed upon her by the regimen she had arranged after a study of all that science says on the subject. As perfect tranquillity was a funda­ mental of the regime, she permitted nothing to ruffle her. But Ed more than, made up for her calm. Two weeks before the event, she forbade him to enter her presence--"or any part of the grounds where I'm likely to see you," said she. "The very sight of you looking so flustrated un­ nerves me.'" While he and I were waiting, in the sitting-room for the news, he turned his heart inside out. "I want to tell you, Harvey," said he, "that the--boy or girl--whichever it is--is to be my heir." "I shan't hold j'ou to that," I re­ plied with a laugh. "No--I'll never marry," he went on. "There was an--an angel. You know the Shaker settlement?--well, out there." I looked at him in wonder. If ever there was a man who seemed unro- mantic, it was he, heavy and prosaic and so shy that he was visibly agitat­ ed even in bowing to a woman ac­ quaintance. "I met her," he was saying, "when I was driving that way--the horse ran, I was thrown out, and her parents had to take me in and let her nurse me. You've seen her face--or faces like It. Most of those Madonnas over on the other side in all the galleries suggest her. Well--her parents were furious --wouldn't hear of it--you know Shakers think marriage and love and all those things are wicked. And she thought so, too. How she used to suf­ fer! It wore her to a shadow. She wouldn't marry me--wouldn't let me so much as touch her hand. But we used to meet and--then she caught a cold--waiting hours for me, one win­ ter night, when there'd been a misun­ derstanding about the place--I was In one place, she in another. And the cold--you see, she couldn't fight against it. And--and--there won't be another, Harvey. All women are sacred to me for her sake, but I couldn't any more marry than I could --could stop feeling her sitting beside me, just a little way off, wrapped In her drab shawl, with her face--like a glimpse through the gates ef Heaven." Within me up-started the memories that I kept battered down. "Your children are mine, too, Har­ vey," he ended. I took from Carlotta's work-basket an unfinished bit of baby clothing. I went to him and held it up and point­ ed to the monogram she had embroid­ ered on it. "E. R. S.," he read aloud. Then he -looked at me with a queer expression beginning to form in his eyes. "Edward Ramsay Sayler, if it's a himself and the "Dominick-Croffut" faction. And soon he was at me to declare for him. I evaded as long as I could--which did not decrease his nervousness. When he put It to me point-blank, I said: "I can't do it, senator. I will not mix in quarrels within the party." "But they are saying you are against me," he pleaded. "And your people are saying I am for you," I retorted. "But surely you are not against me and for Schoolcraft? What has he done for you?" "And what have you done for me?' I replied--a mere interrogation, with­ out any feeling in it. "Tell me. I try to pay my debts." His eyes shifted. "Nothing, Sayler, nothing," he said. "I didn't mean to insinuate that you owed me anything. Still, I thought--you wouldn't have been state chairman, except--" As he halted, I said: "Except that you needed me. And you will recall that I took it only on condition that I should be free." "Then you are opposed to me," he said. "Nobody can be on the fence in this fight." "I do not think you can be elected," I replied. As he sat silent, the puffs uader hit eyes swelled into bags and the pallor of his skin changed to the gray which makes the face look as if a haze or a cloud lay upon it. I pitied him so pro­ foundly tMt, ha/,. I ventured to speak, I Should have uttered impulsive gen­ erosities that wou'd have cost mi dear. How rarely ai'e Shi* Iwfriitfifes of generosity anything but impulses to folly, injustice and wrong! "We shall see," was all he said, and he rose and shambled away. They told me he made a pititful sight, wheedling and whining among the legislators. But he degraded him­ self to some purpose, fie succeeded Jn rallying round him enough mem­ bers to deadlock the party caucus for a month--members from the purely rural districts, where the sentimeht of loyalty is strongest, yrhere his piety and unselfish devotion to the party were believed in, and hi^ significance as a "statesman." I let fhfsf deadlock continue--41 for Dunkirk, 4* *or Schoolcraft--until I felt that the" par­ ty throughout the state was heartily sick of the struggle. Then Woodruff bought, at $12,000 apiece, two Dunkirk men to vote to transfer the contest to the floor of a joint session of the two houses. # After four days of balloting there, seven Dominick-Croffut men voted for me--my first appearance as a candi­ date. On the seventy-seventh ballot Schoolcraft withdrew, and all the l5ominick-Croffut men voted for me. On the seventy-ninth ballot I got, in addition, two opposition votes Wood­ ruff had bought for me at $800 apiece. The ballot was: Dunkirk, 41; Grassmere (who was receiving the op­ position's complimentary vote), 36; Sayler, 43. I was a senator of the United States. There was a wild scene. Threats, Insults, blows even, were exchanged. And down at the Capita! City hotel Dunkirk crawled upon a table and de­ nounced me as an infamous ingrate, a traitor, a serpent he had warmed in his bosom. But the people of the state accepted it as natural and satisfactory that "the vigorous and fearless young chairman of the party's statr commit­ tee" should be agreed on as a com­ promise. An hour after that last bal­ lot, he hadn't a friend left except some galling sympathizers from whom he hid himself. Those who had been his firmest supporters were paying court to the new custodian of the plum tree. The governor was mine, and the leg­ islature. Mine was the federal patron- age, also--all of it, if I chose, for Crof- fut was my dependent, though he did not realize it; mine also were the in­ definitely vast resources of the mem­ bers of my combine. Without my con­ sent no man could get office any­ where In my state, from governorship and judgeship down as far as I cared to reach. Subject only to the cheek of public sentiment--so easily defeat­ ed If it be not defied--I was master of the making and execution of laws. Why? Not because I was leader of the dominant party. Not because I was a senator of the United States. Solely because I controlled the sources of the money that maintained the political machinery of both par­ ties. The hand that holds the purse strings is the hand that rules--if it knows how to rule; for role is power plus ability. I was not master because I had the plum. tree. I had the plum tree be­ cause I was master. The legislature attended to such of the demands of my combine and such of the demands of the public as I thought it expedient to grant, and then adjourned. Woodruff asked a- three months' leave. I did not hear from or of him until midsummer, when he sent me a cablegram from London. He was in a hospital there, out of money and out of health. I cabled him $1,000 and asked him to come home as soon as he could. It was my first personal experience with that far from uncom­ mon American type, the periodic drunkard. I had to cable him money three times before he started. When he came to me at Washing­ ton, In December, he looked just as before--calm, robust, cool, cynical and dressed in the very extreme of the extreme fashion. I received him as If nothing had happened. It was not until the current of mutual liking was again flowing freely between us that I said: "Doc, may I Impose on your friendship to the extent of an in­ trusion into your private affairs?" He started, and gave me a quick look, his color mounting. "Yes," he said after a moment. "When I heard from you," I went on, "I made some inquiries. I owe you no apology. Ybu had given me a shock-- one of the severest of my life. But they told me that you never let--that --that--that peculiarity of yours in­ terfere with business." ITO BE CONTINUED.) -'ONS A RE #U4YaiWANS^PRE8fWFV Vjf' *y When Mark Twain Was Left The First and Probably Last Time In His Life. boy," said I. "Edwina Ramsay Sayler, «=artem. , fc I mt there j if lt'i a girt." Recently some one in Missouri has sent me a picture of the house I was born In. Heretofore I have always stated that It was a palace, but I shall be more guarded now. I remem­ ber only one circumstance connected with my, life in It. I remember it very well, though I was but 2% years old at the time. The family packed up everything and started in wagons for Hannibal, on the Mississippi, 30 miles away. Toward night, when they camped and counted up the children, one was missing. I had been left be­ hind. Parents ought always to count the children before they start. I was having a good time playing by myself until I found that the doors were fas­ tened and that there was a grisly deep silence brooding over the place. I knew, then, that the family were gone and that they had forgotten me. I was well frightened and I made all the noise I could, but no one was near and it did no good. I spent the after­ noon in captivity and was not rescued until the gloaming had fallen and the place was alive with ghosts.--Fro* Mark Twain's Autobiography in the North American Review. Flowers Always Fresh. Apropos of flowers, it is not every­ body who has the knack of arranging them. The woman whose fingers can­ not Impart just the right artistic touch or whose maid or butler is not able to Improve on her efforts, keeps a supply of her vases, silver or glass, at her florists to be filled at regular Inter­ vals and sent to her for drawing room decoration. Ever Have to Listen to 'Em. The Conversation (as it sounds)-- And I says to him, I says--O, he says --well, if you think, I says--says-- then he says he--he--I--just wait, I says--Sadie says she never--maybe you didn't, I says, but--I know, I says--I don't care what anybody says --If he say so he says I said--he--he --I--I--says--says--says--• • • -- Puck. To one not qualified, and few Jay- men are, to discriminate intelligently between physicians' prescriptions, pro­ prietary medicines and nostrums, it tnay seem little short of a crime to hint even that physicians' prescrip­ tions are in any manner related to nostrums; nevertheless, an impartial examination of all the facts in the case leads irresistibly to tfa® cdflelu- sion that every medicinal preparation compounded and dispensed by a physi­ cian is, in the strict sense of the word, ! a nostrum, and that the average, J ready-prepared proprietary remedy is superior to the average specially-pre­ pared physicians' prescription. What is a nostrum? According to the Standard Dictionary a nostrum is "a medicine the composition of which is kept a sttcret." Now, when a physi­ cian compounds and dispenses with his own hands a remedy for the treat­ ment of a disease--and it ia authorita­ tively stated that probably 60 per cent, of all physicians' prescriptions in this country are so dispensed--the names and quantities of the ingre­ dients which constitute the remedy aro not made known fa the patienL Hence, since its composition is kept a secret by the physician, the remedy or prescription is unquestionably, in the true meaning of the word, a Simon- pure nostrum. Furthermore, the pre-' scription compounded by the average physician is more than likely to bo a perfect jumble--replete with thera­ peutic, physiologic and chemical in-' compatibilities and bearing all the ear­ marks of pharmaceutical Incompe­ tency; for It is now generally admitted that unless a physician has made a special study of pharmacy and passed some time in a drug store for the pur­ pose of gaining'a practical knowledge of modern pharmaceutical methods, he is not fitted to compound remedies for his patients. Moreover, a physi­ cian who compounds his own prescrip­ tions not only deprives the pharmacist of his just emoluments, but he endan­ gers the lives of patients; for it is only by the detection and elimination of errors in prescriptions by clever, competent prescriptlonists that the safety of the public can be effectually shielded from the criminal blunders at Ignorant physicians. Nor can it be said that the average physician Is any more competent to formulate a prescription than he is to compound it. When memorized or di­ rectly copied from a book of "favorite prescriptions by famous physicians," or from some text-book or medical journal, the prescription may be all that it should be. It is only when the physician is required to originate a formula on the spur of the moment that his incompetency is distinctly evi­ dent. Seemingly, however, the physi­ cians of the United States are littl# worse than the average British physi­ cian; for we find Dr. James Burnett,, lecturer on Practical Materia Medica and Pharmacy, Edinburgh, lamenting in the Medical Magazine the passing of the prescription and bemoaning the fact that seldom does he find a "final man" able to devise a prescription even In "good-contracted Latin."* And what, It may be asked, ts the status of the written prescription--the prescription that is compounded and dispensed by the pharmacist--is ft, too, a nostrum? It may be contended that the patient, with the written formula in his possession, may learn the character of the remedy pre­ scribed. So, possibly, he might if he understood Latin and were a physician or a pharmacist, but as he usually pos­ sesses no professional training and cannot read Latin, the prescription is practically a dead secret to him. Furthermore, the average prescription is so badly written and so greatly abbreviated that even the pharmacist, skilled as he usually Is In deciphering medical hieroglyphs, Is constantly obliged to Interview prescribes to find out what actually has been pre­ scribed. It may also be contended, that inasmuch as the formula Is known to both physician and pharmacist the prescription cannot therefore be a se­ cret. But with equal truth it might be contended that the formula of any so- called nostrum Is not a secret since it is known to both proprietor and manu­ facturer; for it must not be forgotten that, according to reliable authority, 95 per cent, of the proprietors of so- called patent medicines prepared In this eountry^have their remedies made for them by large, reputable manufac­ turing pharmacists. But even should a patient be able to recognize the names of the ingredients mentioned in a formula he would only know half the story. It Is seldom, for instance, that alcohol Is specifically mentioned in a prescription, for it Is usually masked In the form of tinctures and fluid extracts, as are a great many other substances. It is evident, there- tore, that the ordinary formulated pre­ scription is, to the average patient, lit­ tle less than a secret remedy or nos­ trum. On the other hand, the formulae of nearly all the proprietary medicines that are exploited exclusively to the medical profession as well as those of a large percentage of the proprie­ tary remedies that are advertised to the public (the so-called patent medi­ cines) are published in full. Under the Food and Drugs Act, every medi­ cinal preparation entering Interstate commerce is now required to have the proportion or quantity of alcohol, opium* cocain and other habit-form­ ing or harmful ingredients which It may contain plainly printed on the label. As physicians' prescriptions seldom or never enter interstate com­ merce they are practically exempt un­ der the law. And if it be necessary for the public to know the composi­ tion of proprietary remedies, as Is contended by those who through ig- Boer Leader In America. Gen. Benjamin Johanls Viljoen, the man who captured Dr. Jameson after the latter's permanent South African raid, and later gaired fame while fight­ ing the British, is now postmaster of Chamberlain. N, U. norance or fo)r mercenary reasons are opposing the sale of all household "•medles, why is it not equally ncces- **" ~-r patients to know the compo- sary y*. remedy prescribed by a "dcLi" v** W Uen that the "°lum prescription L less llkf !r t= create a drug ha."" f" urn in a proprietary med.- .. matter of fact, more opium-**11™j* and cocain-fiends have teen mu 19 through the criminal carelessness of ignorant physicians than any other meant, Unquestionably, there are a number of proprietary remedies on the market the sales of which should be prohibit­ ed, and no doubt they will be when the requirements of the Food and Drugs Act are rigidly enforced; many ar® frauds, pure and Sifflpie, and some are decidedly harmful.- Of the aver­ age proprietary remedf; however, it may truthfully be said tfcat It Is dis­ tinctly better thaa ffre average physi­ cians' prescription; for not only is It# composition less secret, but it is pre­ pared for the proprietor by reputable manufacturing pharmacists In magnifi­ cently equipped laboratories and un­ der the supervision and advice of able chemists, competent physicians and skillful pharmacists. It should not be considered strange, therefore, that so many physicians prefer to prescribe these ready prepared proprietary rem­ edies rather than trust those of their own devising. NEWS OF ILLINOIS HAPPENINGS OF INTEREST FROM ALL OVER THE STATi, WANTS GERMANS' ASSETS JUST THE SAME AS CURRENCY. Third Son Felt He Had Nothing to Reproach Himself with. William Knoepfel. of St. Louis, has invented and hopes to patent a secret plowing method for the cure of bald­ ness. "A genuine cure for baldness," said Mr. Knoepfel the other day, should make a man very rich. Why, men grow rich pn fake cures. It is amazing, it really is, what fakes some of these cures are. Yet there's money in them." Mr. Knoepfel gave a loud, scornful laugh. "In theft- crookedness they remind me," he said, "of the third son of the old eccentric. Per­ haps you have heard the story? Well, an old eccentric died and left his for* tune equally to his three sons. But the will contained a strange proviso. Each heir was to place $100 In the coffin Immediately before the inter­ ment. A few days after the Internment the three young men met and disevse- ed the queer proviso and its esec*> tion. 'Well,' said the oldest son, lay conscience is clear. I put my hundred In the coffin in clean, new notes.' 'My conscience Is clear, too,' said the sec­ ond son. I put in my hundred in gold.' 'I, too, have nothing to reproach my­ self with,' said the third son. 'I had no cash at the time, though; so I wrote out a check for $300 in. poo*, dear father's name, placed it in the coffin and took in change the $200 in currency that I found there.'" PUSHED THE BEAR ASIDE. Surveyor Tells of Experience He Does Net Care to Repeat. To walk right up to a monster bear and try to shove It out of the way and then escape without so much as a scratch is an experience of a lifetime. Harry I Eogelbright found it so a few days ago in. Diamond canyon, above Washington, says a Nevada City cor­ respondent of the Sacramento Bee. The young'man, son of Congressman Engelbright, haa just returned from the upper country, where he has been doing some surveying, and relates his thrilling experience. It was coming on dusk, at the close of the day's work. In the brush-lined trail he saw pro­ truding what he thought were the hind quarters of Borne stray bovine. He walked up and gave the brute a shove. It came to its haunches with a Snort that made his hair rise and caused him to beat a hasty retreat. The big brute looked around and then shuffled off into the woods. It was either asfeep or else so busy eating ants from an old log that it failed to hear the young surveyor, whose foot­ steps were deadened by the thick car­ pet of pine needles. Later It was learned that the same bear, a monster cinnamon, had killed a dog earlier in the day. The dog ventured too close and with one blow of Its paw the big beast sent it hurtling yards away, dead as a doornail. Magnifying Choir Leader's Voice. In the old'Village of Braybrook ta Northamptonshire, England, is a mon­ ster trumpet, five six Inches fat length, and having a bell-shaped end two feet one inch in diameter. The trumpet is made up of ten lings, which in turn are made up of smaller parts. The use of this trumpet--only four of the kind are known to exist at the present day--was to magnify the voice of the leader in the choir and summon the people to the church service. At the present time neither the choir nor the service is in need of this extraor­ dinary "musical instrument," but the vicar of the church takes car© of the ancient relic and is fond of showing it to ail visitors. Painfully Exact. A New England man tells of a pros­ perous Connecticut farmer, painfully exact in money matters, who married a widow of Greenwich possessing in her own right the sum of $10,000. Shortly after the wedding a friend met the farmer, to whom he offered con­ gratulations, at the same time observ­ ing: "It's a good thing for you, Malachi, a marriage that means $10.- 000 to you." "Not quite that. Bill," said the farmer, "not quite that.** "Why," exclaimed the friend, "I under­ stood there was every cent of $10,000 in It for you?" "1 had to pay $2 for a marriage license," said Malachi. Diplomatic Salesman. An elderly woman entered a shop and asked to be shown some table­ cloths. The salesman brought a pile and showed them to her, but she said she had seen those elsewhere--noth­ ing suited her. "HaVen't you some­ thing new?" she asked. The man then brought another pile and showed them to her. "These are the newest patterns," he said. "You will aotice the edge runs right round the border and thia center is in the middle." "Dear me, y«s. I will take half a dozen of em," sa'd the woman. Wit. A witty man is a dracnatic perform­ er; in process of time he can no more exist without applause than be can exist without air; if his audience be small, or if they are inattentive, or if a new wit defrauds him of any por­ tion of his admiration, it is all over with him--he siqkeus and is extin­ guished. The applause of the thea­ ter on which he performs ia so es­ sential to him that he must obtain it at the expense of decency, friend­ ship and good feeling. -- Sydney Smith. Royal ln.ur.nc. Company Mi*«» »*- Pffer for Propmy of FrtepoH Concern, Which Fail#d AflfP San Fr?ncitco Fire. FreepoFt---- At Mount Carroll Judg# Heard of the Circuit court ordered placed on file an offer of $1,850,000 by the Royal Insurance company for the entire remaining assets of the Gar* man Insurance company of Freeport, which failed as a result of the Saa Francisco fire, and for which the Chi­ cago Title & Trust company was ap­ pointed receiver. Attorneys repre­ senting San Francisco claimants op­ posed the acceptance of the offer on the ground that it was too small. The filing of the bid gives the Royal an opportunity to increase its offer later if it chooses. ;V; fWti* ,.,v; • : •• - • j U SLAIN MAN'S BODY IN RIVER. Supposed to Have Seen Killed in CtM* ton, la.--Robbery Probable Motive. " V " f Sterling.--The body of William & % Collins, 7249 Stewart avenue, Chicago^ was found floating in the Mississippi river at Albany, 20 miles from here.* The man's skull had been crushed be­ fore he was thrown into the river. It is supposed that he was killed near Clinton, Iowa, and that the bodyr which had been in the water about three days, had floated down to AJ- .. bany. - *5 Bishops Assigned for Conferences. Bloomington.--The schedule is out for the assignment of bishops for the annual conferences of the Methodist Episcopal church of Illinois, Iowa, In­ diana and Missouri. The dates and presiding officers of each are as fo^ lows; September 4, Iowa conference at Burlington, Bishop Cranston; Sep­ tember 4, Northwest Indiana, at Greencastle, Bishop McDowell; Sep­ tember 11, Central Illinois, at Rock. Island, Bishop Cranston; September 18, Southern Illinois conference at ML Carmel, Bishop Cranston; September 1&> Illinois conference at Bloomingtoar Bishop McDowell; October 2, Rock Warren; October 2, Missouri confer- RAver conference at Chicago, Bishop ence at Cameron, Bishop Cranstoa» Further assignments will be announc­ ed later. ".•Mi Arrested for Abandonment* ; Decatur.--Charged with abandoning the wife to whom he has been married only a month, Ernest Pool was ar­ rested by Sheriff M. Michaels, of Marion county, in Decatur, and takes to Salem. -Pool is only 19 years old. He has been working at the H. Mueller factory oz. the night force. Sheriff Michaels arrested him there and took him to Salem to face hla wife, at once-. Accident Mars Chautauqua. Petersburg.--An accident in which Phillip Beggs, 13 years old, of Nor­ mal, sustained a severe injury to his skull by slipping on the base of the swimming pool, marred the pleasure of the second day of the Old Salem Chautauqua. His condition is serious, and it is feaxed he has concussion of the brain. ^ "Buffalo Bill" Sued. Bloomington.--The city of Bloom* lngton has brought suit and attach* ment against William Cody, better known as "Buffalo Bill," for damages said to have been done to sewer traps about the city streets. It is under* stood that the circus company will pay the city to the amount of damage done. Chicagoaaa Head Sons of St. 6eor%ei% Rockford.--Chicago made almost la clean sweep in the annual election of the Illinois grand lodge of the Order of Sons of St George. The principal officers chosen were: President, J. W. Meyer, Chicago; vice president, A. M. Walsh, Evans ton; secretary, Charles C. Meurisse, Chicago. R 0 To Meet in Rockford. Rockford.--Great preparations aire under way in Rockford for the eatery tainment of the state circuit clerks of Illinois, who convene here August 28 and 29, Changes affecting the clerka and recorders were made by the last state legislature, and these will form a part of the discussion of the forth­ coming convention. Would Erect Y. M. C. A. Building. Decatur.--A movement is on foot among the colored residents of thiai city for the construction of a Y. M. C- A. building. A building of the city will be used temporarily for head­ quarters and within a short time the- association will have constructed 9k building of their own. Litchfield Pastor Resigns. Litchfield.--Rev. M. S. Johnson, for three years pastor of the Christian church of this city, surprised his con­ gregation here by handing in his resig­ nation, the same to take effect imme­ diately. This action was forced by ill health, it is thought. ^ Many Hear . Mason. Petersburg.--A crowd of TJiOO pelf- sons gathered at Old Salem chautau* qua grounds to listen to the addreea given by Senator William E. Mason* of Chicago. Files Lien Against Church. Paris.--J. C, A. Hlte, of Kansas; m,* who furnished lumber for the erection of the new Methodist church at that place, has filed a lien against the trustees of the church and on the house of worship. He clalma oyer |2,500 is due him by the truataea. ^ fS".. Yirdimnter Dying of tnjurtea. Peoria--Oscar E. Eckley, yardrve* ter. for the P. & P. V., is dying at 9t> Frauds hospital from injuries he re­ ceived by being run down- by a C., & Q, train about on$ ^