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KcBenry Plaindealer. McHENRY, ILLINOIS. Silence Is a great reasoner. A bad habit is a tyrant master. Crime is immediate punish Those who forget kind deeds are Bt of generous birth. Daily brain and body worry constant grave-digger. Is a IKS SAVING CASH LOAN CERTIFICATE PLAN ADOPT- EO IN MANY CITIE8. NEW YORK NOW CALMER Present Situation Deals Solely with Supplies of Currency--Neither Credit Nor Prosperity Affected. If volcanoes continue to come up in Arctic waters they may yet furnish a dry and warm passage way to the pole. Now they have "acute confusional insanity." That's the way a man feels when he goes into a dry-goods store on a busy day. Bishop Candler's severe strictures on 'sissy religion' will be resented by the sissies if they have a spark of manhood in them. The melancholy Jays have come, the saddest of the year, when wifey shops for a new fall hat and sends the bill to hubbv dear. Physicians who say that Americans eat too much meat will co?me under some suspicion of having been subsi­ dized by the Chicago packers. Now that New Zealand is a domin­ ion there will be no living with it for goodness knows it put on enough airs when it was only a colony. Now they have a stingless honey­ bee, but it is a safe bet that even a Burbank couldn't produce a yellow- jacket of that mollycoddle variety. Naturalists are again requested to devise some means by which hunters can distinguish with accuracy be­ tween fellow human beings and wild game. King Alfonso's doctors have cat down his daily allowance of cigarettes by one-half. This may give him strength enough to cut off the other half himself. If the Atlantic fleet does not go to the Pacific it might make a dash for the pole without exciting any sus­ picion of hostile intent toward any­ body. Chewing toothpicks may make a man look intellectual, as a writer claims, but most men who want a rep­ utation Tor intellectuality prefer to chew the rag. To prove his innocence a Boston man tried to put out his right eye, and it wasn't a $29,240,000 fine he was con­ fronted with either. Some men take convictions so seriously. . It has now been discovered that j brains are not needed for thinking. Everybody has known for a long time that the size of a man's head Is no guarantee of its contents. Skeptical persons who question whether the higher education pays have only to look at the plans for the future home of the University club to find their doubts set at rest. That chemist who says he has dis­ covered a way to turn animals into stone should consult the landlady who knows a process by which beefsteak can be converted into leather. Now that Switzerland has adopted an American watch in the national ob­ servatory it remains only for France to import American champagne and Austria American wienerwurst. The steamer Baltic has brought 1,- 002 marriageable girls to this country. They ought to be able to find hus­ bands among the million or so mar­ riageable men that came last year. If Wizard Burbank would be a real benefactor to mankind, let him pro­ duce some kind of tree that will bear wood pulp in sufficient quantities to put the paper trust out of business. It will take 27 years to pave Chi­ cago's streets, according to an expert engineer, at a total cost of $200,000,- 000. We shall have to continue, we fear, to pave them with good inten- | tions. I - New York.--The feeling among banking authorities is that united ac­ tion and wise counsels have already accomplished much in providing a so- ! lution for the financial problem with which they have been called on to deal during the past week, and that, with remedial plans now further per­ fected, the promise is strong for the uninterrupted maintenance of finan­ cial stability. Saturday the bankers adopted the system of clearing house loan certifi­ cates and agreed that the withdrawal of savings deposits shall be permitted only on the legal notice of from 30 to, 60 days. This example was followed by the banks of Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Louis, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Du- luth, and other cities, not because of any weakness of those institutions, but to prevent the draining of their financial resources by the demand for money in the east Sunday was marked by its usual calm, which gave the financial leaders an oppprtunity to ease the tension of overwrought nerves experienced during the past week. Most'of them remained at home throughout the day and there was a noticeable absence of the hurried conferences of recent days. The departure of Secretary Cortel- you for Washington removed a con­ spicuous figure from the field, but it was felt that with President Roose­ velt's strong support, as expressed in his letter made public Saturday night, Mr. Cortelyou's presence in Washing­ ton was favorable to such further government assistance as might be re­ quired. One prominent banker pointed out that it could not be brought to the attention to the country at large too strongly that the present situation is one dealing solely with the supplies of currency, and that neither the busi­ ness credit of the nation nor its in­ dustrial and agricultural prosperity is affected. In this respect there is a sharp con­ trast with the conditions prevalent in 1893. At that time many manufac­ tories were closed, railroad business was at a low ebb and all parts of the country were feeling the^ strain of acute business depression. To-day, on the contrary, the country is ex­ tremely prosperous; manufacturing plants are running at full time to keep up with ordexs demanding output to their fullest capacity; railroad earnings are the highest ever known and the crop prospects are excellent. The banks themselves, especially those of New York, have in their vaults interest-bearing securities of the very best character on which, in all ordinary times, they would be able to realize large sums of money. Chicago Adopts System. Chicago. -- To prevent the drain­ ing of Chicago's financial resources by the demand for money in the east, and to preserve the stability or the local banks through the pinch of the present fiscal stringency, the members of the clearing house, com­ prising the bank presidents of the city, met Saturday night and adopted pre­ cautionary measures. It was decided that beginning with the opening of business Monday morn­ ing clearing house certificates will be issued to cover the balance between banks, and the withdrawal of savings deposits will be permitted only on the legal notice of from 30 to 60 days. SKELETON TICKETS STOLEN. Burglars Also Get Stamps Punches^to Prepare Them. and The adoption of the scheme for ! making treasury notes and bank bills ! in different colors, according to de- j nomination, may render it necessary ' for bank clerks to undergo tests for color blindness. Los Angeles, Cal.1-- A burglary thought at first of minor importance developed Sunday into a crime that will annoy railroad officials through­ out the country for months to come. The Southern Pacific station at Santa Monica was robbed last Thursday night of skeleton tickets valued at over llo.OOO, together with the stamps, punches and ink paids which will en­ able the thieves to stamp hundreds of transcontinental railroad tickets. A Swiss scientist, who has complet­ ed a geological examination of the strata collected from the borings of the Simplon tunnel, is said to have found traces of radium that suggest larger deposits than any hitherto found in Europe. He believes these de­ posits caused the abnormal heat ex­ perienced in building the tunnel. This goes to support the theory that pos­ sibly the presence of radium in vast quantities creates the supposedly melted condition of the interior of the earth. Rates in Mexico to Go Up. Mexico City.--It was authoritative­ ly stated Sunday that a general rise in the railway rates of the country would go into effect in the near future. This conclusion was reached after many sessions of the railway commis­ sion and the officials of the various railways. The latter held out for a 20 per cent, increase, but the commis sion agreed to a 12 per cent, increase. No agreement was reached on. the matter of the shipment of ores. This point will be settled at a later confer enco. A writer in one of the October mag­ azines, telling a tale of an old man of the slums, has this to say of the aged person's conversational voice: "There were hints in it of wide fields and sleeping meadows in the flat, low- tones. One almost thought of the sound of woodbirds' notes, of the low mooing of cows on the evening air, and the rustle of corn leaves at dawn." And they pay high for this sort of thing! exclaims the Indian­ apolis Star. Shades of Thackeray and Hawthorne! Costly Fire in Nome. Tacoma. Wash --Fire at Nome on Friday caused property loss of about $300,000. The Second avenue office building of the Pioneer Mining com­ pany, the best structure of the kind in the mown, was among those de­ stroyed at' a loss of $50,000. A SECOND DREYFUS AFFAIR FRENCH NAVY AND ARMY OFFI­ CERS ARRESTED AS TRAITORS. One Confesses--Possessed Many Na­ val Secrets and. Tried to Black­ mail Minister of Marine. One of the late predictions is that light draft boats, fitted with turbine engines, will soon be plowing through the water at the rate of 100 miles an hour. Some imaginative person will please tell us what will be tin- prob­ able speed of locomotives or i'lect«ic ratlway trains by that time. Fatal Railway Wreck in Texas. Dallas, Tex.--A wreck on the Mis­ souri, Kansas & Texas railroad, which occurred Sunday, killed the first pas­ sengers in the history of the com pany. Two are dead and 25 hurt. Automobilists who are smashing u£ themselves and their machines by way of showing their ••nthusiastn foi the sport could be just as convincing if they exercised a little human in telligence while out for a run. Jailed for Publishing Untruth. Odessa.--M. Inber, political editor of the Odessa Novasto. has been sen­ tenced to four mouths' imprisonment in a fortress by the court at Eliza- y,ethgrad on the charue of having pub lished an untrue statement. Winona Lumber Mill Burns. Winona, Minn --Fire which started In the heart of the manufacturing uiw trict at five o'clock Thursday after noon destroyed the lumber yafcls and mill of the Schroth & Ahrens Milling company. Loss is $100,000. Paris. -- The arrest of Ensign Charles B. -Ullmo, of the French navy, at Toulon Thursday, on the charge of being a spy and his confes­ sion to having abstracted a secret naval signal book and the naval cipher code, was followed Friday by the arrest at Vendome of an officer named Berton, who is charged with negotiations with an agent of a for­ eign power for the sale of military secrets. v The arrests are creating a great stir, and as Ullmo is a Hebrew, the papers term his case a second Drey­ fus affair. It appears that Ullmo offered cer­ tain documents to the minister of ma­ rine for $30,000, saying that unless his offer was accepted he would sell them to a foreign power. A dummy corre­ spondence was begun, ending with Ullmo's capture. A search of his lodgings revealed that he not only possessed the secret code signals, but was in possession of complete plans for the mobilization of the French navy, the location of har­ bor mines in the event of war, photo­ graphs of the mechanism of France's famous 75-millimetre field gun, etc. The cases of Ullmo and Berton added importance to the debate which opened in the chamber of dep­ uties Friday afternoon on the interpel­ lations regarding the state of the na­ tional defenses, in connection with the charges made in the book entitled "Are WTe Defended?" recently pub­ lished by Charles Humbert, an ex- army captain and staff officer of for­ mer War Minister Andre, and the magazine article on the same subject of which Gen. Langlois iis the author. Mm. Gauthier and Lasies, authors of interpellations, spoke at length on the disorganization said to exist in the army, citing statements made by M. Humbert and Gen. Langlois and con­ tending that this deplorable condition of affairs was the result of the anti- military propaganda and the political favoritism introduced since the days of Gen. Andre. A PRIZE WINNER! m WnihT 37U0t>*s GOLD FROM EUROPE ENGAGEMENT OP LARGE , • •. SUMS HELPS BANK SITUATION. COPPER IS HIGH ABROAD Certified Check 8ystem Works Weil, and Financiers Think Trouble Is Just About Over. TO PROMOTE BOB EVANS PLAN TO MAKE HIM A VICE AD­ MIRAL WILL BE REVIVED. Reason for Change Is to Make His Rank Equal to Foreign Officers for Coming Cruise. COOKE AND M'REYNOLDS LOSE. Illinois Supreme Court Confirms Con­ viction of Two Chicagoans. Springfield, 111.--The decision of the appellate court affirming the decision of the criminal court of Cook county, which found John A. Cooke guilty of embezzlement while acting as circuit clerk of Cook county, and sentenced him to imprisonment in the penitentiary, was affirmed by the supreme court Thursday. The supreme court also affirmed the judgment of the criminal court of Cook county, which found George S. Mc- Reynolds guilty of embezzlement and sentenced him to the penitentiary. McReynolds had issued warehouse cer­ tificates against grain owned by him-, self and his own elevator, and depos­ ited the receipts as collateral for money borrowed from banks on the grain, and $rhen the receipts were re­ turned there was no grain in the ware­ house. PRESIDENT IS 49 YEARS OLD. As Usual No Celebration Marks Mr. Roosevelt's Birthday. Washington. -- Sunday was Presi­ dent Roosevelt's forty-ninth birthday. No celebration marked the event, the president rounding out his forty-ninth year and entered upon his fiftieth with the same simplicity that always char­ acterized his birthday. He did not depart from his customary Sunday program of worship, work and recrea­ tion. The day was spent at the White House fireside in a quiet family re­ joicing. Congratulations in large numbers, by mail, telegraph and tele­ phone, were received at White House. JAMES REDDICK IS KILLED. Prominent Chicago Republican Diet in Auto Accident. Chicago.--James Reddick, chairman of the Republican county committee and one of the foremost politicians in the city, was killed shortly after one o'clock Sunday morning in an automobile accident at Half Day, a village on the old Milwaukee highway, half way between Wheeling and Lib- ertyville, and about 28 miles from Chicago. Washington.--The great battlehip fleet which is to make its way from the Atlantic to the Pacific will prob­ ably be commanded by a vice admiral, and that officer is now Rear Admiral Robley D. Evans. Of course this is conditional upon congress giving its sanction to the proposal that will be made by the ex­ ecutive to establish this new rank in the navy. The idea is not a new one. In fact, the president in his last an­ nual message to congress, as well as the secretary of the navy in his an­ nual report, made a recommendation to that effect, but without securing the approval of congress, Now, how­ ever, conditions are believed to be more favorable than ever before for this project. Rear Admiral Evans is going to sail in command of the most powerful fleet that ever gathered und.gr the Ameri­ can flag. Not only that, he commands more battleships of modern type than any other naval officer in the world, and the only officer whose blue pen­ nant floats over a more numerous fleet of all kinds of warships is Lord Charles Beresford, apd he is of even greater rank than a vice admiral, be­ ing an admiral, like Dewey. On this cruise the American fleet is to touch in many foreign ports and is to exchange courtesies with foreign fleets. In several places--in Brazil, in Chili, in Argentina--the American commander, supposing he retains his present title of rear admiral, would be outranked, for the navies of all of these countries contain officers of the grade of vice admiral, which would make the American commander's po­ sition humiliating. It would be pointed out in Rear Admiral Evans' case that not only is he by his remark­ able service record entitled to this advancement, but any objections to the creation of this new grade that might be broached in congress might be overcome by pointing to the fact that as Rear Admiral Evans retires next August, the office will be of short duration. ALFONSO HAS TUBERCULOSIS. Colorado Statute Held Void. St. Paul, Minn. -- The United States circuit court of appeals Fri­ day handed down a decision that the Colorado statute prohibiting any for­ eign corporation from prosecuting or defendiflg a suit in that state unless it has paid an annual license of two cen\s for each $1,000 of capital stock is unconstitutional if literally inter­ preted as to any corporation engaged in interstate commerce. Thayer Monument Unveiled. Lincoln, Neb.--A monument to the memory of the late Brig. Gen. John M. Thayer, erected by the state of Nebraska, was dedicated at Wyuka cemetery Sunday afternoon in the presence of a large audience. The unveiling was performed hy W. K. Gillispie and Wesley Barr, two mem­ bers of the First Nebraska regiment, commanded during the civil war by Gen. Thayer. The dedicatory address was delivered by Col. Thomas J. Majors, of Peru. Gen. John C. Cowln, of Omaha, also delivered an address. Busch Offers Balloon Race Cup. St. Louis.--In a letter addressed Jto G. H. Walker, Adolphus Busch an­ nounced Friday that he will offer a cup valued at $1,000 as the trophy for a balloon race to be held here next year. Col. Stephen L. Littler Dies. Springfield, 111.--Col. Stephen L. Littier, a capitalist, died Friday of ty­ phoid fever, aged . 37 years. During Gov. Tanner's administration he was a member of the governor's personal staff. King of Spain Will Consult Specialist in London. Madrid.--The alarming reports cir­ culated earlier in the month regarding the health of King Alfonso appear to be confirmed. It is understood the king, who will travel under the strict­ est incognito as duke of Toledo during his coming visit to London, will sub­ mit to the examination of a specialist in tuberculosis, from which disease his father died. The king's open air life thus far has kept the hereditary dis­ position in abeyance and an operation was performed on him recently in the hope of checking the growing symp­ toms of consumption. Automobile Kills $8,000 Horse. Pittsburg, Pa.--A horse valued at $8,000 by its owner, H. Vervack, of Buffalo, N. Y., sent here for the horse show, which will open next week, had to be shot Friday after an automobile had struck it, breaking both hind legs. Short Strike in New Orleans. New Orleans.--Ten thousand cotton and freight handlers went on a strike which lasted four and one-half hours here Friday. They were the men who returned to work in the morning after nearly a month-long sympathetic strike against local steamship inter­ ests. Friday's strike was also sym­ pathetic, called because part of the re­ turning men refused to sign a three- year contract with the Illinois Central railroad. The trouble was settled by the railroad's withdrawing its de- mand: Lusltanla Makes New Record. Queenstown.--The Cunard line steamer Lusitania arrived here at 9:30 Thursday evening. She has broken the best previous eastern rec­ ord from New York to Queenstown, which was 5 days, 4 hours and 19 min­ utes. Her time of passage was 4 days, 22 hours and 46 minutes. Panama Dentist a Suicide. Panama.--Dr. F. O. Gross, of Ore­ gon, a prominent dentist and for many years a resident of the isthmus, com­ mitted suicide hare Thursday. INSURANCE MAN IS CONVICTED. Dr. Gillette, Ex-Mutual Life Official, Found Guilty of Perjury. New York.--The first conviction in the cases based on the disclosures in the legislative investigation of insur­ ance affairs in 1905-1906 was obtained by the district attorney's office Thurs­ day night when a jury in the criminal branch .of the supreme court found Dr. Walter R. Gillete, former vice presi­ dent of the Mutual Life Insurance com­ pany, guilty of perjury in the third degree. The verdict was accompanied with a recommendation for mercy. The maximum penalty for this degree of perjury is ten years' imprisonment. Upon the report^of the jury counsel for Gillete moved for a certificate of reasonable doubt and an arrest of judgment Justice Dowling announced that he would hear the motion next Monday and in the meantime remand­ ed Dr. Gillete to the tombs. During the trial the defendant had been at liberty under $10,000 bond. The jury was out one hour and 25 minutes. Dr. Gillete is 67 years of age and is well known in medicine from the practice of which he retired some years ago. He was born in Philadel­ phia. GERMANY WINS BALLOON RACE. Pommern Captures Bennett Cup, Traveling 880 Miles. St. Louis.--Proclaimed as the most remarkable ballooning contest in the history of the world's aeronautics, with every racing record broken, the second international cup competition, which started from here on Monday last, ended Wednesday, with Germany accorded the winding laurels. The finish of the race was the closest and most exciting the followers of the sport have ever known, the vic­ torious German balloon, the Pommern, which landed at Asbury Park Wednes-. day morning, having but slightly more than Ave miles the advantage of the French contestant, L'Isle de France, second in the race, which de­ scended during the afternoon at Her- bertsville, N. J., a few miles from the Atlantic coast and slightly northwest of Point Pleasant. Another German balloon, the Dussel- dorf, stands third in the race. Ameri­ can entries are fourth and fifth, a third German team is sixth, a French team seventh, American eighth and English ninth. The unofficial estimated air-line flight of the Pommern is 880 miles, and that of the L'Isle de France is 875. College Weather Bureau Planned. Milwaukee. -- A weather bureau, comparable to that of the United States government, is to be estab­ lished by Marquette college of this cityw The Alumni association has pledged itself to raise the necessary funds, and Rev. James McGeary, who recently came from Manila to take the chair of physics and astronomy at the college and who is one of the best known weather observers in the coun­ try, will take charge of the service. Kiowa Indian Agent Selected. Washington. -- After a confer­ ence with the president Thursday, Secretary Garfield announced he would offer Lieut. Steckler, of the Philippine scouts, the office of agent at the Kiowa Indian reservation. Three Killed by Dynamite. Santa Barbara, Cal.--Three men were killed at Santa Maria in this county by the explosion of a charge of dynamite with which they were try­ ing to dynamite the casing of the syndicate oil well. Gen. Buel's Historic Home Burned. Evansville, Ind.--Information re­ ceived here from Rockport, Ky., states that the historic home of the late Gen. Don Carlos Buel at Airdrie, on the Green river, was destroyed by fire Sat­ urday night. Brunagh Arrested in Detroit. Detroit, Mich.--Deputy Sheriff Clay o^ Indianapolis arrested Friday after­ noon at the Hotel Cadillac,- Henry P. Brunagh, said to be wanted in Indian­ apolis to answer to a charge in con­ nection with a recent-paving investi­ gation in that city. Iowa Central Shop# Surned. -- Marshalltown, la.--Fire Friday night destroyed the Iowa Central car shops, paint shops, machinery, stock, coaches, box and flat cars and lumber, entailing a loss of $300,000. New York.--The principal events in the financial district Monday indicated th#t the worst of the crisis was over and that conditions were settling down to normal. There were no further bank suspensions and reports were favorable for the resumption of most of the banks which closed temporarily last week. ^ The engagement of $1$,750,000 in gold from Europe for importation to New York was followed by the sensa­ tional announcement of sales of American copper abroad, which will further increase the tide of foreign money to this country to an aggre­ gate of over $25,000,000. This, with the rapid rise of good securities on the stock exchange, in some cases as much as four and five per cent., which was naturally followed by slight re­ action at the close, and the policy of the trust companies not to pay out currency for hoarding purposes, all contributed to strengthen the confi­ dence in banking circles and^,among the public at large. Runs upon banks practically ceased, partly because of recognition that they were unnecessary and unjustifia­ ble and partly because of the policy adopted to pay large checks only in certified checks on depositary banks. This system of payment worked no ap­ parent hardship and was the cause of very little protest. Small checks wert- paid promptly in currency, and large f amounts where it was demonstrate* that currency was required for pur­ poses other than hoarding. One of the sensational features of the day was the remarkable develop­ ment in the copper trade. The United Metals Selling company reported a sharp advance in the price. Copper which they would have sold gladly ten days ago at 12% cents a pound, com­ manded 13%., to 13% cents a pounds Monday. ADVICE TO VICTIMS TELLS READERS HOW TO CURE RHEUMATI8M AT HOME. RUSSIAN PRISON HEAD SLAIN. Gen. Maximoffsk'y Is Shot Down by a Woman. St. Petersburg. -- Gen. Maximoff- sky, director of the department of prisons of the ministry of the interior, was shot and killed Monday by a woman. The general was the highest responsible official connected with the Russian prisons and it is supposed that this was the reason he was se­ lected for assassination by the terror­ ists. The general's" assassin, who was arrested immediately, unhesitatingly avowed herself to be an emissary of the northern flying section of the social revolutionists, who had been intrusted with the task of punishing Maximoffsky for the stern regime which he lately had introdu<^d in the treatment of important political pris­ oners, whom he ordered to be treated like ordinary criminals. GUN FIGHTER IS SLAIN. John Malone Killed by City Marshal of Benton, Hi. Benton, 111.--City Marshal George Adams Monday shot and killed John Malone, former city marshal and well known as a gun fighter, after Malone had threatened the marshal's life. A number of years ago Malone shot and killed a man at Hopkinsville, Ky. Later he is said to have killed a negro in Pope county, 111. Just before removing from Galatia, 111., where he served as city marshal, Malone shot a man in the mouth, and a feW years ago shot and' killed John Hollehan in East St. Louis. He was tried for murder in each instance but was ac­ quitted. Steamer Finland Disabled. Dover, England.--The Red Star line steamer Finland, from New York Oc­ tober 19 for Dover and Antwerp, struck the western end of the south­ ern breakwater Monday whi^e enter­ ing this port. She sustained extensive damage to her bows "which necessi­ tated her remaining here until Tues­ day afternoon for repairs. No lives were lost, but a man who was working on the breakwater at the time had his thigh broken. The tremendous force of the impact greatly damaged the stonework of the breakwater. The Finland's bows are badly buckled, the plates having been driven back for about 20 feet. Famous Pacer Is Dead. Chester, Pa.--Frank Yokum, a fa­ mous pacer, who had equalled eight track records and lowered 38 half- mile records, died Monday at the Moore Brook stock farm. Students Hazed at Rolla, Mo. Rolla, Mo--As a result of class rivalry of several weeks standing 20 sophomores of the State School of Miaes were routed out of bed Sunday night, and. half clad, were tied trees on the campus of the school, where they remained until daylight, sWvering in the nipping atmosjtfiere. After they had been released by other rophomores, the entire sophomore class rallied, capture 75 freshmen, bound their arms with ropes and chains and marched them around town accompanied by the school band. Four New Game Reserves in West. Washington.--The president has is­ sued an executive order creating four new bird and animal reserves on the Pacific coast, one the Three-Arch Rock reservation in Oregon, and the other three in Washington--Flattery Rocks, Qulllayute Needles and Copal- is-Rock reservations. Ban Francisco Editor Dead; San Francisco.--John Barrett, news editor of the Examiner, died of apo­ plexy Monday afternoon while walk­ ing on Van Ness avenue. Direction** to Mix a Simple Prepara­ tion and the Dose to Take--Over­ comes Kidney and Bladder i- Trouble Promptly. There is-so much Rheumatism every­ where that the following advice by an eminent authority, who writes for read­ ers of a large Eastern daily paper, wfil be highly appreciated by those wfcb suffer: Get from any good pharmacy one- half ounce Fluid Extract Dandelion, one ounce Compound Kargon, three ounces of Compound Syrup Sarsapa- rilla. Shake these well in a bottle and take in teaspoonful doses after each meal and at bedtime; also drink plenty of good water. It is claimed that there are few vic­ tims of this dread and torturous dis­ ease who will fail to find ready relief in this simple home-made mixture, and in most cases a permanent cure is the result; This simple recipe is said to strength­ en and cleanse the eliminative tissues of the Kidneys so that they can filter and strain from the blood and system the poisons, acids and waste matter, which cause not only Rheumatism, but numerous other diseases. Every man or woman here who feels that their kidneys are not heajthy and active, or who suffers from any urinary trouble whatever, should not hesitate to make up this mixture, as it is certain to do much good, and may save you from much misery and suffering after while. Everything Bad. A prominent planter recently had occasion to visit some of his holdings in southern Arkansas. The land was situated several miles from a railroad, and it was necessary to finish the journey in a buggy. So he took a friend with him and started out. After traversing several miles of sparsely settled country, they came upon a farmer plowing corn on the side of a hill. The planter, wishing to appear civil to his neighbors, stopped his horse and yelled at the man, who came to the fence, mopping his face with a red bandana. "Good morning." "Mornin', mister!" "You live here, I suppose?" "Yep." "How's crops?" "Fair to middlin'." "That's a bad hill you're plowing." "I know It. Bad hoss, pullin' th* plow, bad plow, bad everything." "Why, you talk like you were the poorest man in Arkansas," laughed the planter. "I ain't, though," was the response, as the young fellow smiled good- naturedly. "Another feller owns half o' this crop." Not Discharged. An old Antebellum negro in a small southern town was arrested and brought before the village magistrate for drunkenness. He asked for a law­ yer who had helped him out of scrapes before, and the magistrate sent for the attorney. The young man came into the little office, where the usual crowd of spec­ tators had gathered, and asked the old negro: "Well, William, what are you charged with this time?" Sadly the ancient darky replied: "Boss, I's charged wid whisky!"-- Harper's Weekly. Protecting His Magazines. "While waiting at the doctor's th© other day, I picked up a magazine from his table to pass the time," said the man who observes things. "All through the book, on nearly every other page was stamped his name, and it so irritated me that I spoke to him about it. " 'If I didn't fill that magazine up with my name,' he said, 'it wouldn't last ten minutes in this place. Some­ body would be sure to carry it away. Even as it is, I lose one every little while.'" Omissions of History. Henry VIII. had taken another wife. "How many does that make?" he asked his private secretary. "Six, your majesty," answered that functionary. "Are you sure?" "I have kept_ the count correctly, your majesty." "Well, I'll stop at that," he said. It was with some reluctance, how­ ever, that he kept his promise by dy­ ing before he had a chance to marry No. 7.--Chicago Daily News. TAKE THEM OUT Or Feed Them Food They Study On. Can When a student begins to break down from lack of the right kind of food, there are only two things to do; either take him out of school or feed him properly on food that will rebuild the brain and nerve cells. That food is Grape-Nuts. A boy writes from Jamestown, N. Y., saying: "A short time ago I got into a bad condition from overstudy, but Mother having heard ^ about Grape- Nuts food began to feed me on it. It satisfied my hunger better than any other food, and the results were mar­ velous. I got fleshy like a good fel­ low. My usual morning headaches disappeared, and I found I could study for a long period without feeling the effects of it. "My face was pale and thin, bu< is now round and has considerable color. After I had been using Grape-Nuts for about two months I felt like a new boy altogether. I have gained greatly in strength as well as flesh, and it is a pleasure to study now that I am not bothered with my head. I passed all o{ my examinations with a reason­ ably goods percentage, extra good in some of» them, and it is Grape-Nuts that has saved me from a year's delay in entering college. "Father and mother have both been improved by the use of <} rape-Nuts. Mother was troubled with sleepless nights and got very thin, and looked care worn. She has gained her nor­ mal strength and looks, and sleeps well nights." "There's a Reason." Read "The Road to Wellville" in pkRB.