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" ' M ; »!N' ,w^r! jh< ^ ̂ *,;• ^ <£ " ' J. 'A -J - " * • > :«Jf« , vCt j'; ^>x: v' <4t »-t ,--A*»""7~ ..V^ H...T* *, , "V*2?*, '^.^* '** ft. «& «k.., •„ *4 i** •* * ' • ' 1 V'^A'/' l^iSf r;^y-T _,7" " *",,> i -\ t V ' • 1 i ' ! ' f*4 > -: ' «i".v • . '.LlAJT&ATED&y ~P-y$f MEJ{ ' ROY NORTON liitur -- ,w-• - - , --_ -I" ^SmmmS£n' i *r *MQf*rtP .nwair ** SYNOPSIS. - Vanishing Fleets," a story of "what night have happened," opens in Wash­ ington with the United States and Japan AB the verge of war. Quy Hllller, sec­ retary of thfe British embassy, and Miss Norma Roberts, chief aide of Inventor Roberts, are introduced as lovers. The government is much criticised because Of its lack of preparation for strife. At the most inopportune moment Japan declares war. Japan takes the Philip- Pines without loss of a man. The en­ tire country is in a state of turmoil be­ cause of the government's indifference: 3uy Hillier starts for England with •ecret message and is compelled to leave Norma Roberts, who with military Bfflcers also leaves Washington on mys- Mfcious expedition for an isolated point on the Florida coast. Hawaii is captured by the Japs. Country, in turmoil, demands explanation of poiicy from government. All porta are closed, Hllller going to Eng­ land on last boat. England learns that Jap fleet Is fast, approaching western coast of America. Hillier decides to re­ turn to America by any means. Siego. Japanese spy, discovers secret prepara­ tions for war. He follows auto carrying presidential cabinet. He unearths source of great mystery and flees, murmuring: "the gods save Nippon," Fleeing to Pa­ cific coast, Siego is shot down Just as Journey to get awful news to Japan seems •uccessful. Japan announces intention to attack seaports. CHAPTER VII.--Continued. One day, two days, and three, passed before Japan felt anxiety, or the world began its discussion as to the cause of the long delay. Then, when the fleet was more than a week overdue It became almost a certainty^ that some disaster had overtaken it, al­ though from no section of the sea had there been a typhoon reported or any­ thing but excellent barometric condi­ tions. Ten days passed in this same way, and on the last the report from Honolulu was' "identical with that which had been made on all those previous: "Nothing in sight, and noth­ ing arrived." Once more the world stood In ex­ pectancy, and vainly sought the so­ lution for the latest enigma. Storms were eliminated; for no tempest could have wiped out such a magnificent body of ships so effectually as to leave none to bear the sad tidings to the nearest port. And then, as a full reali­ sation of what must hare happened dawned upon the watching powers, a shudder of dread passed through them all. It was plain that America had some new and terrific naval strength, some unheard of monster of the deep, that gave it the mastery of the seas. The evolution of submarines had been rapid; but no one had knowledge of a craft that could steam such a distance M would have been necessary to in­ tercept the Japanese before they reached Honolulu, engage them and either destroy them completely or cap­ ture and convey them to an American port. It must have been total destruction, the world argued, because in case of capture great battle Bhips themselves would scarcely have been able ' to make the complete trip to a Pacific coast on the supply of coal they car rled in their bunkers. Forced drafts required great expenditure of fuel and never at any time had there been any other intention than of replenish- ' ing at Hawaii. It seemed impossible that a civilized* nation should have chosen deliberately to exterminate its enemies by wholesale; and yet there was no other conclusion tenable. How terrific must have been that onslaught, coming up out of the wa­ ters of the sea, and how remorselessly executed! All losses of life in prevl ous naval engagements sank into in significance when compared with this sudden and swift obliteration of fleet of warships, transports and col Hers. It would be nearly impossible to spare lives in such a battle, and It seemed a certainty that the great steel monsters that had sailed away to easy conquest had become mere metal coffins for those who manned them, and were now resting some­ where on the floor of the heedless Pa cific. If such was the case, it was time the United States ceased to ex­ ist as a nation, when peopled by in­ human monsters who calmly slew their adversaries when threatened. Japan was left a helpless little is land in the sea, without ships to as­ sail an enemy or to defend herself. Shorn of power and pride, she was plunged as deeply/ In mourning as only a few weeks before she had been exalted in glory. She^plaintively be­ wailed the barbarities of her enemy, and proudly pointed to her own high state of civilization, which made such warfare impossible. She asserted that had she possessed such monsters of destruction as were evidently owned by the United States, she would have scorned to use them without notify­ ing the whole world of her power. It was a country of desolation. There was hardly a prominent home in Japan which had not contributed some member of its family to that splendid navy which had sailed so proudly away when early June was spreading its flowers over the empire; now there were sobs of bereavement aid woe. Across the ancient lands of the Pharaohs and up through the prov­ inces of kings there swept a unani­ mous desire'1 for ah explanation. It could come from only one source-- this land of mystery which had cut itself off from all the world and stood silent, guarding its secret, and sud­ denly grown ominous in its possiblll- ' ties and potentialities. Japan, hopeless and^ driven to tremifles, appealed to her ally, Great Britain, for news. She showed no cowardly spirit by asking for aid of arms, and sought the assistance of her closest friend only that she might gain information.^ And Great Britain after due consideration responded. *• The~~premi'er of the dominion of Canada Was asked in the interests of humanity to pags a communication to the soldiers*,on the border, asking for particulars of the destruction of the Japanese fleet. It was duly" accepted and forwarded, and back came the "The United States has no report whatever to impart on the subject most vitally concerning his majesty's closest ally beyond the fact that the fleet which came to invade the Pa­ cific coast has bae& duly met, properly vanquished and rendered incapable of further harm. The United States re­ grets that such action became neces­ sary, and, with all due respect to Great Britain and such other powers as may be interested, wishes to express a dis­ inclination to reply to any further communications of this or % similar nature." A slap In the face could have caused no greater consternation. The very terms of the reply showed Insolence toward all the world, and demanded explanation. But who dared attempt It? What country was brave enough to take the risk of meeting those ter­ rible submarines, which were capable In a night of destroying the most com­ plete flotilla that ever had been mobil­ ized and sent away? If they only knew what form these monsters took, what dire warning they gave as they advanced to the attack, there might be some means of offsetting them or perhaps jrepelling them. That infor­ mation, at any cost,, must be gained. In its reaching out for anything which perfectly feasible so to use electricity through metal as to change its struc­ ture and at the same,llme lessen the resistance, or skin friction, through the water of a boat so. constructed." "Were yoa at th^ifime discussing submarines?" • "Yes, we were. Thl» subject arose through his describing certain ex­ periments in which ho and his daugh­ ter were then engaged. His contention was that a submarine could never be made totally effective unless it gained a speed so far beyond anything known that it could traverse great distances and maneuver with such rapidity that it would be practically immune from attack." This then must be tie solution! and he read in the faces of his interroga­ tors that they so accepted it. There was a chorus of questions which he could not answer. He admitted his lack of technical enlightenment, and also that he had no knowledge of what success had resulted from the experi­ ments. Nothing of a valuable nature had been given to him at the time of tljiat or any other conversation. But he had made it certain in the minds of his superiors that, though they might not know the secret of the sub­ marines which had destroyed the Japanese fleet, they at least were aware what form of attack might be expected in case of war. In the nature of things it nouid afford no solace; but It might assist in obviating danger. He listened to the discussion, and felt that he should be given leave to go, now that he had told all he knew; but he was again brought to the fore by a question. "We understand you are personally on very pleasant and friendly terms with the president of the United States?" "Yes, I think so." ^ "Do you believe that if you were H i pelled to make somfc kind of demon* stration of strength off the American coast--this for the reassurance of our own people in Canada, li for no other purpose. We are going to send our most powerful fleet into Canadian waters, where it will be stationed until this war is at an end. You recognise the danger?" Hillier sat thoughtfully for & mo­ ment and then said: "Yes, I think I do. You are afraid that if a great fleet was sent toward Canada it might be misinterpreted by the United States as a warlike move against her; there might be accidents; and then our ves­ sels would disappear as completely as did those of Japan." "You are right," the minister as­ sented, and his companions nodded In approval. "Now, under those circum­ stances it is necessary for us to get word through, without any chance of miscarriage whatever, fully and clear* ly explaining to the United States that this demonstration is for the re­ assurance of Canada; that It has no intention of Interfering with American affairs, and requesting that measures be taken to prevent Its belhg attacked under misapprehension. If that mes­ sage did miscarry or was delayed in its delivery to one sufficiently high in au­ thority, the results might be fatal." "And you wish me to make an at­ tempt to deliver these advices?" "Yes, because we have tried through other agencies and failed. This time there must be no failure, because the North Sea fleet is now being mobil­ ized to its full strength, including the Dreadnought and her two sister ships, and will sail within a week after your departure. Do you think you can pass the lines T' Guy'B heart gave a great bound of satisfaction. Now he would have all the aid his government could give to penetrate the cordon and reach a place where he stood the best chance of finding Norma, or of learning where she was and what had happened to her and her father. "No one can try harder, sir," he hastened to assert, "and I believe that if anyone can enter I can.". "When can you go?" "As soon as you are ready." "Then let it be to-night. One of our fastest dispatch boats, probably the Norfolk, will take you, and will land you wherever you deem it best to make the attempt. I suppose, how­ ever, you will endeavor to go through by way of Canada?" He answered that' such would be his intention, shook hands with them all, received his messages and left the chambers, his blood tingling with the excitement of action and elated be­ cause the call of duty was leading him back into the land where Norma lived and might be found. In the chamber he left behind a group of men, who looked at each other and said: "He is the fourth man to try It; and is not only the best, but our last hope." They Shook Hands. might suggest a way; the British min­ istry sent for Hillier. Guy, sleepless and worn from nights and days of anxiety, responded to the call, listlessly wondering what further information he could give as to the sit­ uation in America, or what if any duty could be expected of him when the ministry itself was unable to accom­ plish anything. He was ushered into the room where on several previous occasions he had answered questions, and found there the same men who had met him on the day of his arrival in London; but there was a different attitude this time, however, and the officials before him seemed anxious and ill at ease. Plainly they were ready for any sug­ gestion he might offer, or any measure that might seem possible. "Mr. Hillier," the lord of the ad­ miralty began, "In all the time you were in Washington did any rumors or stories or information reach you re­ garding some new form of submarine boat projected, or being experimented with, by the United States govern­ ment?" At first, on Impulse, lje almost an­ swered "No;" but before his lips could formulate the monosyllable there sud­ denly returned to his memory several conversations he had had with Dr. Roberts on this subject, and also he recollected that in one of these talks Norma had participated. There was no reason so far as he could think why he should conceal this knowl­ edge. i "Yes," he replied, "I do know some­ thing of the subject, but nothing tan­ gible or of value. That which recurs to me is a conversation I had a few months ago with a scientific inventor who is a friend of mnie." "And his name, pray?" "Dr. William Roberts." Every man in the room £ave a start and looked at his neighbor. The mention of the name seemed to have affected them. The prime minister repeated it as an exclamation. "That is the man," he said, "who is supposed to have gone insatie, but who at one time, according to our secret reports, was working on some electrical dis­ covery which might be utilized for an improved submarine. What do you know of it?" 'I know only this," he said, "that Dir. Roberts told OM fc* believed it In Washington you could gain an audience with him through his friend­ ship and deliver into his own hands a message from our government?" "Yes, if I was in Washington; but It now seems inaccessible." The prime minister, to whom the others looked, reached over and picked up a paper knife with which he idly tapped on the table where lay a map. "Mr. Hillier," he said, "we are about to send you on a very important jour­ ney. We have selected you because of your thorough familiarity with the United States, your perfect knowl­ edge of the Canadian border line, and your ability to talk personally to the president if he can be reached. We are not at war with the United States, and do not believe that vessels sent by us would be attacked unless war was declared. In the interests of the national, dignity, however, we are com- CHAPTER VIII. The Lone Voyager. • special train breaking records fat speed swung shrieking into the arch» way of the Liverpool Btation, and Hil­ lier, carrying nothing but light bag­ gage, jumped out of his compartment and walked along the Queen's land­ ing to the gangplank of the waiting Norfolk. Two men in sailor's uniform, rho evidently had been posted for the purpose of keeping curious loungers away from the boat, halted him, and were joined almost on the instant by two officers in waiting. Hillier reco&> nized one as a personal friend. Thejr shook hands, boarded the ship, and almost before their feet were planted on the deck the landing stage was swung into the air and she proceeded to get under way. It was plain to Hillier that no tlm» was to be lost in this trans-Atlantic journey; for before the Norfolk had passed out of the river she was work­ ing under forced draught. He found himself the only passenger, and that Instructions had been given^ placing the destination of the ship under his orders. That the government pur­ posed to spare no expense or effort in assisting him to a successful con­ clusion of his mission was evident. He was tired of hearing of war, and felt a secret sense of satisfaction as day after day passed in respite from such news. Out of the North sea, sluggishly rolling in the swells and floundering through the waves, gathered a fleet almost as powerful as that which had been mobilized by Japan. Other nearby stations sent in their quota of cruisers, torpedo-boat destroyers and swift-moving dispatch boats. Five of the world's greatest battle ships formed the heart of this apparently in­ vincible gathering, which was to cross the ocean to a land of mystery, al­ ways facing the possibility of de­ struction by a terrible and unknown engine of warfare. (TO BK CONTINUED.) AS MEANS OF IDENTIFICATION • * to Her Mrs. Brady's Helpful Hint Faithful "Micky." The Bradys used to drive several miles to mass each Sunday In "the little thrap" with "th" ould gray mare." Micky, "the boy," a being of many summers, whom custom and a con­ servative tradition had, In spite of his uncertain years, always treated as the possessor of perpetual adolescence, drove. Next him sat Mrs. Brady, decorous In black, while scattered about the straw in the body of the vehicle,, was a large assortment of "the childer"--Bradys of all ages, sexes and sizes, bare-legged and other­ wise--each exuberant and articulated It remains to this day a disputed point among the Bradys as to what memory of earlier and more frisky days induced "th' ould gray mare" to behave as she did on this particular Sunday. Rounding a corner, she swerved Into the ditch, and before Micky, the boy, could cope with the situation, a pile of Bradys, vertical and horizontal, had been dumped into the ditch* with the little trap turned over and resting on top of the struggling heap. Then, high above the babel of cries came Mrs. Brady's voice: "Pull me out, Micky, for the love o' hivin! The black legs Is mine!" -- Cleveland Leader. T« Put a Faucet In a Barrel. Tt Is no easy task to place a barrel In position after the faucet has been inserted. The following simple expedl* ent will make it easier: First stand the barrel on end. Bore the hole for the faucet in the usual way and then plug it with a cork. Shave the cork off close to the barrel. Having placed the barrel in position, put the end of the faucet ^quarely and firmly on the cork. Drive it into the barrel, forc­ ing the cork ahead. A turn or so. of the faucet makes it tight--Rehoboth Sunday Herald. TRRNS NEARLY GONE *- BEAUTIFUL BIRD SACRIFICED TO WOMAN'S VANIW. ' 1 Once Was Plentiful Along the East­ ern Coast from Maine to Florida, But Now Ex­ terminated. Bird lovers have missed the dainty little sea bird called the roseate tern, the smallest of all the terns, not much bigger than a robin, pearl gray and white in color, with a black- capped head and wide spread of wings. This little bird, not many years ago breeding in countless throngs all aiong the coast from Maine to Florida, has been almost entirely exterminated for millinery purposes. There is little hope of restoring the species to the desolated breeding grounds of the south, but a few speci­ mens left, estimated at about 200, are scattered along the eastern coast, north of Virginia. Of these many are living along the southern shora and islands of Massachusetts, slowly lh- creasing in numbers through the ef­ forts of the Audubons and the faithful protective work of their wardens. Among the many species of sea birds sought by plume hunters, the least tern was especially desired, be­ cause of its small, neat, ready-made completeness. A single whole skin needed but a bit of wire and cotton to make it sit up jauntily on a hat and look alive. Thus the little roseate tern disap­ peared even more rapidly than the larger terns and gulls, till a halt was called in the wholesale slaughter, when the Audubons secured and en­ forced protective laws. So rare has the roseate tern be­ come, that many bird lovers, familiar with the various other kinds of terns, and with all the gull and duck tribe, hardly know it by sight. Mr. Edward Howe Forbush, orni­ thologist of the Massachusetts state board of agriculture, and now in charge of Audubon interests in the New England states for the national association of Audubon societies, has recently returned from a tour of in­ spection along the back shores of Cape Cod and Buzzards bay, and the small­ er Islands of Vineyard sound and along the more remote southern beaches of Martha's Vineyard, tramp­ ing with pack on his*flfcck and cruising about in chance dories, seeking traces of this almost-lost little sea bird, per­ haps the daintiest and loveliest of all we have. Under the protection of wardens the arctic tern, sometimes called the "kittiwake," or "medric," has in­ creased rapidly on the islands of Penl- kese, Muskeget and Wepecket in the jjtast few years, till something over 20,000 birds could be estimated as be­ longing there in the summer of 1908. A colony of about one thousand laugh­ ing gulls is also assured to this re­ gion. V; J Mr. Forbush's tour of Inspection In­ cluded a study of. all these colonies, with outlook on possibilities in the way of future food supply for the in­ crease. But most particularly Mr. Forbush was seeking out the homes and haunts of the elusive little roseate tern, taking with him the simplest tramping necessities and rubber sleep­ ing cover and using aa a blind the more or less familiar umbrella and green denim device, which, set up on the open beach, protects the birdman from weather and from observation by NO TEMPTATION. TP Wag treferring to Miss Oldbird)-- \.|£! Um, I should think it would be mora suitable if she were standing under j "elderberries" instead of mlstletM^" ) berries. ;4' , ,l* $ TOLD TO USE CUTICURA. ^ After Specialist Failed to Cure Her M<^ - tense Itching Eczema--Had BMN Tortured and Disfigured But REEIVRSTI MOTHER On THE fiPST. HUND USED FOftBUiH "Ro&enre TW/Y ON •rum near. the birds themselves while he photo­ graphs them and studies their habits at short range. At present the little terns may flock safely, if they will, on the back shore of Marthas Vineyard^ where Mr. For­ bush trauped 15 miles without seeing any one except two small boys. Often he had press forward into the very surf in uie stress of the search, since terns on the wing are generally far out But here and there he came happily to favored i haunts of the tern ashore, where he had rare glimpses of parents and young. The mother bird makes hardly any nest, scraping together a bit of sea grass and shells perhaps, but more often brooding her eggs on the hottest top edge of a sun-baked beach, and then, following some queer instinct she flies away, often to wet her breast, to cool the addling eggs. Young birds just hatching frequent­ ly die under this kind of care, struck by the sun above or baked by sand be­ low. While she broods the eggs or young, the father bird feeds her with fish enough and to spare. STREETS LIKE STEPS THE STRANGE U P8-AN D-DOWNS OF CONSTANTINOPLE. Not Likely to Be Much Change for Years Yet--Difficult to Walk About Without Being Bespattered by Refuse Thrown Out. The streets of Constantinople are unlike those of any other capital in the world, and it is not likely that the Young Turk movement and the reor­ ganization of the government will make much difference with the dis­ comforts, the dangers and the filth which have marked the streets for centuries. Owing partly to their neg­ lected state they are almost impassa­ ble for ordinary cart and wagon traf­ fic; therefore, everything which is portable is carried on the backs of donkeys, mules and men. Many streets are nothing but long, broken flights of steps; many are steep and narrow, and as you pick your way from stone to stone you are continually showered with water and refuse, which the Turkish family throws from overhanging upper stories, and all are abominably Ill-paved, odorous and dirty, and at night badly lighted. Con­ sequently, with the exception of the four-horse military transport wagons which pass frequently between the numerous barracks in and around the city, and, the long shaped buffalo carts used mainly for house-moving pur­ poses, such a conveyance as a cart or lumber wagon is rarely seen or used. Turkish women take an airing in the summer time in buffalo or ox drawn carts, which are curtained carefully on all sid«>s. But next year they will probab.y be riding in automobiles, for since the Young Turks have permitted the hitherto forbidden entry of ma- chlnerj' two "strong smelling" cars are Been daily in the streets, filling the natives with curiosity and alarm. It will bs some time, however, before the new government can hope for ma­ terial reforms, and one still sees four huge bufc'aloes, attached to a garden roller, doing the work which a steam roller does in other countries! No Turk has been out of his own country, except those who have been on the pilgrimage to Mecca, and a few of the Young Turks who were ex­ iled; therefore his heart does not yearn for the improvements which his eye has not seen. And the hamals-- human beasts of burden--if they could reason out the matter, would strongly resist the paving of streets and the adoption of carts which must neces­ sarily take their trade away. Donkeys and mules are lost to sight under piles of firewood, haystacks, bricks and lumber. As they step wearily along, with heads bent and eyes on the ground, never moving out of anyone's way, the man in charge of the pack shouts directions to the fore­ most beast, and the others follow obediently without looking up. Bells jingling at their necks warn you of their approach from behind, and un­ less you get out of the way quickly you are knocked over by one of the bulging loads, which occupies half the road. People who can afford to drive never walk, and if you take your "constitu­ tional" on foot you are considered very poor; but two-horse vehicles are cheap if you barter with your driver i beforehand; if not, he, like the Hamal, I is at liberty to extort any amount at i the end of your journey. The car- I riage bumps and rattles over the j broken roads, swaying behind the J horses' heels like a pendnlum. First I one footboard, then another, strikes | and grazes the stones; you grip the i sides, and have not strength enough left to tell the fiend to stop; for the moment you are entirely in bis hands, though you expect every minute to be out of his carriage. The driver is master of the streets. He shouts per­ emptorily: "Destur! Destur! Destur!" ("Get out! Get out! Get out!") as he dashes madly round corners and down steep hills, stopping for uone, and every time tie vehicle lurches you think it will run Into another or kill one of the unfortunate crowd that scat­ ters to right and left. Was 8oon Cured of Dread Humor* *1 contracted eczema and suffered Intensely for about ten months. At | times I thought I would scratch my- self-to pieces. My face and arms vera ! covered with large red patches, 99 ; that I was ashamed to go oat. I : advised to go to a doctor who , a specialist in skin diseases, but 1 received very little relief. I tried ; every known remedy, with the same 1 results. I thought I would never get befe ter until a friend of mine told me to try the Cuticura Remedies. So I tried them, and after four or five applications of Catlcura Ointment I was relieved of my unbearable itching. I used two sets of the Cuticura Remedies, and I am completely cured. Miss Barbani Krai, Highlandtown, Md., Jan. 9, 'O®." Patter Drag a Cbem. Oorp^ Sols Props* Uen are sometimes so good and s* great, that one is led to exclaim: Oh, that they were only a little better aai a little greater!--J. H. Newman. Lewis' Single Binder straight 5o _ made of rich, mellow tobacco. Yoa® dealer or Lewia Factory, Peons. 111. All sorrow Is an enemy, but It rles a friend's message within it, toa MORE PINKHAM CURES Added to the Long List doe to This Famous Remedy. * Camden, N.J.-- "It is with pleasoM that I add my testimonial to your already long list---hopingthat it maf induce others to avail themselves of H-v "• vS. >: : r#\'; this valuable medi­ cine, LydiaE.Pink. ham's vegetable una I Com feted from terrible headaches, pain is my back and right side, was tired and nervous, and so weak 1 could hardlj stand. Lvdia S Pinkiiaina Vegeta­ ble Compound to. stored irne to health and made me feel like a new person, and it shall always Lave say praise.* --Mrs. W. P. VALENTINE, 90S JLincote Avenue, Camden, N. J. Gardiner, Me. -- "I was a great sa£> ferer from a female disease. The doo» tor said I would have to go to the hospital for an operation, but LydiaX. Piiikham's Vegetable Compound con* pletely cured me in three months."-- MRS. S. A. WILLIAMS, R. F. D. No. 14 Box 89, Gardiner Me. Because your case is a difficult ont^ doctors having done you no goat do not continue to suffer without giving Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound a trial It surely has cund many cases of female ills, such as in» flamination, ulceration, displacement* libroid tumors, irregularities, period&B pains, backache, that bearing-down reeling, indigestion, dizziness, and ner­ vous prostration. It costs but a trite to try it, and the result is worth lions to many suffering women. : li V- Hsrringa Have Long Life. It has been auce: talned that whfls some of the herrings caught in Ger­ man waters are only three years old, others are up to 14 years old. TH£ KANGAROO GIRL. H«r feat urns are peachy, her eyea are briglu. Her lips t;r«! for kisses that clasp and woo. Her neck a carving of creamy white-- But Why Does Sne Walk I<!k« A Kangaroo'. Hei* hair is a midnight of maMening Joy. Her form Ls a Psyche's and swains would And Cupid would capture--the wlae young boi'J-- Except That 8he Walks Like A Kangaroo! Her mother, i think, aoesn't know she's out, For mothers an; wise and discreet and true; x And if tjjey but knew what their girls are about. Noi One > Would Thus Walk Like A Kangaroo! --Robertus Love, in Judge. Ever-Ready. Eminent Statesman -- No, sir; nothing from me. I have nothing to say to a publication as persistently un­ fair and vicious as yours. The Whirl can go to hades, with my compli­ ments. Reporter (cheerfully)--Can go? My dear sir, our circulation manager is prepared to prove that it does go there already--has the largest circulation.-- Puck. Nearer Home. Wife (putting down the magazine) --This article says that the supply of coal will be gone in 100 years. Husbtnd--That's nothing! Ours is already gone.-^Judge. \ A Safe and Sura Cough Core* | Kemp's Balsas i Dm sot ctmtaia Ophafc Merphiuc, ur asy otker nartstie or kabtt-faraiag 4ra| Nothing of a poisonous or harm* * ful character enters into its com* j position. < This clean and pure cough core j cures coughs that cannot be cared j by any other medicine. It has saved thousands from con­ sumption. It has saved thousands of lives. A 25c. bottle contains 40 doses. At all druggists', 25c., 50c. and |L Doat accept nythiBg elite. SICK HEADACHE CARTERS "Sgjj Positively cared bf these Little Pills* They also relieve tress from Dyspepsia, digest ioti and Too Heaxtp Eating. A perfect edy for Dlttine**, Na» Sea, Drowsiness, Bat4 Taste in the Mouth, Coa* ed Tongue, Pain in the Side, TOBP1D I/IVE*. Ihey reg'uJate she Bowels. Purely SMALL PILL SHALL DOSE. SMALL PBH& ITTLE IVER PILLS. CARTERS ITTLE IVER in Doubt. 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