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V;-" i*5-' ...» .?*>v. -- > * / J » £-f; . lC\ B ." ' Wf: \. " *&w; -V fc. fe> SMIL, HOPKINS' • .- ADAMS The MILLION- DOLLAR DOG jf| To this day, Average Jones main- vi tains that he felt a distinct thrill at J ,. - first sight of the advertisement. Yet fate might well have chosen a more Appropriate ambush in anyone oj a : ; hundred of the strange clippings which were grist to the Ad-Visor's mill. Out of a bulky pile of the day's paragraphs, ! however,, it was this one that leaped, srW significant, to his eye: ' WANTED-TEN THOUSAND"afl©ATHLY black beetles, by a leaseholder who con­ tracted to leave a house in the same con- dition as he found It, Ackroyd, 100 W. Sixteenth St.*. New' York., "Black beetles, eh?" observed Aver­ age Jones. "This Ackroyd per&bn seems to be a merry little jester. Well, I'm feeling rather jocular, myself, this morning. How does one collect black beetles, I wonder? When in doubt. Inquire of the resourceful Simpson." He pressed a button and his con- •j " fidential clerk entered. ' "Good morning, Simpson," said Av- sf#- "• erage Jones. "Are you acquainted with that shy bat pervasive animal, the domestic blick beetle?" * "Yes, sir; I board," Simpson simply. ; , * "rsuppose there aren't ten thousand C black beetles in your boarding house, i ; „ though?" Inquired Average Jones. Simpson took it under advisement. «"Hardly/' he decide^. l" ,, "I've got to have 'em to fill an or- ;i-/ J der. At least, I've got to have an in- ' a stallment of'em, and tomorrow." "Ramson, down on Fulton street, will have them, if anyone has," Simp­ son said presently. "He does busi­ ness under the title of the Insect * ' Nemesis, you know. I'll go there at ~ ' .©ape."" > : Returning to his routine work, Av­ erage Jones found himself unable fo dislodge t^e advertisement from his mind. So presently he gave*, way to temptation, called up Bertram at the CoBmic club, and asked him to come to the Astor Court temple offices at convenience. Scenting more ad- Venture, Bertram found it convenient to come promptly. Average Jones handed him the dipping. Bertram read it with ascending eyebrows. "What's at One Hundred West Six­ teenth street?" demanded Jones. "One Hundred West Sixteenth; let me see. Why, of course; it's the old Peltner mansion. You must know it. It has a walled garden at the side; the only one left in the city, south of Central Park." * ^Anyone named Ackroyd there?" ̂ "Thatmust be Hawley Ackroyd. I refhember, now, hearing that he had rented it. Judge Ackroyd, you know, better known as 'Oily' Ackroyd. He's a smooth old rascal." "Indeed? What particular sort?" *tOh, most sorts, in private. Pro­ fessionally, he's a legislative crook; bead lobbyist of the Consolidated." "Ever hear of his collecting in- -Beets?" i,! "Never heard of his collecting any* thing but graft. In fact, he'd have ^ been in jail years ago, but for his fam- *ly connections. He married a Van Haltern. You remember the famous Van Haltern will case, surely; the million-dollar dog. The papers fairly reeked of it a year ago. Sylvia Gra­ ham had to take the dog and leave the conn try to escape the notoriety. She's back now, I believe." |. "I've heard of Miss Graham," re- •rK marked Average Jones. $W"-' "Well, if you've only heard of her and not seen her," returned Bertram, with something as nearly resembling enthusiasm as his habitual languor permitted, "youW got something to ' . Jook forward to. Sylvia Graham is a 1 distinct asset to the Scheme of Crea- t tion." "An asset with assets of her own, I believe," Bald Average Jones. "The million dollars left by her grandmoth­ er, old Mrs. Van Haltelftr, goes to her eventually, doesn't It?" Provided she carries out the terms of-the will, keeps the dog in proper luxury and buries him in the grave on the family estate at Schuylkill des­ ignated by the testator. Jf these terms are not rigidly carried out, the for­ tune is to be divided, most of it go­ ing to Mrs. Hawley Ackroyd, which would mean the judge himself." What about Mrs. Ackroyd?" • "Poor, sickly, frightened ladv! She's •ery fond of Sylvia Graham,' who is her niece. But she's completely domi­ nated by her husband." "Information is your long suit, Bert. Now, if you only had intelligence to correspond--" Average Jones broke ? r off and grinned mildly, first at his !» . friend, then at the advertisement. jfe!% Bertram caught up the paper and ffife studied it. "Well, what does it mean?" • he demanded. ' "It means that Ackroyd; being W'. 7 Iff give up his rented house, intends *0 ~~ddle it ™ith £t hod t>pmo '* "Ham»aa Say$ thai black bee­ tles iur% out of season, sir," he re­ ported. "D^it he can send to the country <^nd dig ttp plenty ot rednnd- black ones." "That will do," returned the Ad- ViBor. "Tell him to have two or three hundred here tomorrow morning." Bertram bent a severe gaze on his friend. "Meaning that you're going to follow up this freak affair?" he in­ quired. • "Just that. I can't explain why, but --well, Bert, it's a hunch. At the worst, Ackroyd's face when he sees the beetles should be worth the money." > r Thus is was that, on the morning after this dialogue, a clean built young fellow walked along West Six­ teenth street. He was rather shabby- looking. On the evidence of the^ band­ box which he carried, his mission should have been menial; but he bore himself wholly unlike one subdued to petty employments. His steady, gray eyes showed a^gllnt ©^anticipation iis be turned in at the ifate of the high, broad, brown house standing back, aloof and indignant, from the roaring encroachments of., trade. He set his burden down and pulled the belL The door opened promptly to the deep, far-awfiy clangor. A ̂ flashing impression of girlish freshness, vigor, and grace was disclosed to the caller against a background of interior gloom. The girt glanced not at him, but at the box, and spoke a trifle im­ patiently. , "If it's my hat, it's very: late." "It Isn't, miis. It's the insects." "The what?" "The bugs, miss/' , He extracted from bis pocket a slip, of paper, looked from it to the num­ bered door, as one verifying an ad­ dress, and handed it to her. "From yesterday's copy of the Ban­ ner, miss. You're not going back on that, surely," he said somewhat re­ proachfully. She r&ad, and as she read her eyes widened to lakes "of limpid brown.. Then they crinkled at the corners, and her laugh arose from the mid- tone contralto, to a high/ bir&ike trill of joyousness. "It must have been uncle," she gasped finally, "He said he'd be quits with the real estate agent before he>' 1$ft. How perfectly3 absurd! And are those the creatures in that bofcft* "The first couple of hundred of 'eta, Miss Ackrbyd." * The girl looked at him with suspi­ cion, but his face was blankly inno-, cent. "I'm not Miss Ackroyd," she began with emph&sis, when a, querulous voice from an inner room called out: "Whom shf«« yhn talking to, 'Sylvia?" "A young mat#- with a boxful of beetles," returned the girl. Average Jones mutely held up the box in one hand and the advertise* ment in the other. "Very well," said the girl, in demure tones, thonfh lambent mirth still flick­ ered, golden, in the depths of the brown eyes. "If you persist, I can only suggest that you come back when Judge Ackroyd is here. , You won't find him particularly amenable to hu­ mor, particularly when perpetrated by a practical joker In masquerade." "Discovered," murmured Average Jones. "I don't ask any real reason for your extraordinary call," pursued the girl with a glint of mischief in her eyes, "but auntie thinks you've Cotat( to steal my dog. She thinks that of everyone lately." "Auntie? Your dog? Then you're Sylvia Graham. I might have known it." "I don't know how you might have known it. But I am Sylvia Graham-- if . you insist on introducing . me to yourself." "Miss Graham," 'said the visitor promptly and gravely, "let me present A. V. R. E. Jones, a friend--" "Not the famous "Average Jones!" cried the girl. "That is why your face seemed so familiar. I've seen your picture at Edna Hale's. You got her 'blue flies' back for her. 0 But Really, that/hardly explains your be­ ing here, in this way, you know." "Frankly, Miss Graham, it was just as a laAc that I answered the adver­ tisement. But now that I'm here and find you here, it'looks--er--as if it might--er--be more serious." A tinge of pink came into the girl's cheeks, but she answered lightly enough: • & . * "Indeed, it may.for you, if uncle finds you here with those beetles." "Never mind tne or the beetles. I'd like to know about the dog that your aunt is worrying over. Is he here with you?" % Th«£) soft curve of Miss Qraham's Hps straightened a little. "I really thihk," she said with de$|ion, "that you had better explain further before questioning." "Nothing simpler. Once upon a time there lived a crack-brained young Don Quixote who wandered through an age of buried romance piously searching- for trouble. And, twice upon a time, there dwelt in an enchanted ' stone castle in West Sixteenth street an en­ chanting young damsel in distress--" "I'm" not a damsel in distress," in­ terrupted Miss Graham, passing over the adjective. The young man leaned to her. The half smile had passed from his lips, and his eyes were very grave. "Not--er--if your dog were to--er-- disappear?" he drawled quietly. The swift unexpectedness of the counter bgjpke down the girl's guard "You mean Uncle Hawley," she said. "And your suspicions jump with mine." "They don't!" she denied hotly. You're""very unjust and impertinent." "I don't mean to be Impertinent," i f : . , Tf /• v;r. •• •- :**It would be just like Oily Ack ' . royd," remarked Bertram. "He's a Vindictive scoundrel. Only a tew days ago, he nearly killed a poor devil of a .drug clerk, over some trifling dispute. He managed to keep it put of the, newspapers but be had to pay a stiSt. toe." N; "That might- be worth looking up, i JP°>" rumUated Average JdneB " thoughtfully.- He turtied to, his telephone in an­ swer to krin% "All right, come in, ,.#tnjpson," said. s • * N rfdential dark appeared 1*0 OOiU eV6ui>\ Aliu A U4VC3 UU tiopoly of injustice." you know^febout Uncle ^ popoly of injustl >j| "What do you Hawleyx "Youi^aunt-- "Mr. Jones. I've nq right even to let you talk like this to me. &ave you any tiling definite against J royd?" "In this case, only suspicion.** Her head ^went up. "Then I think there is notliihg mord to be said." The young man flushed, but his voice was steady as he returned: "I disagree with you. And I beg you to cut short your visit here, and re­ turn to your home at once." . "In spite of herself the girl was sha^ ken by his persistence. "1 can't do that," she said uneasily. And added, with a flash of anger, "I think you had belter leave this house." "If I leave this house now I may never have a chance to see you again." The girl regarded him with level, noncommittal eyes. "And I ha^e every Intention of see­ ing you again--and again--and again. Give me a chance; a moment." Average Jones' mind was of the em­ ergency type. "It summoned to its aid, without effort of cerebration on the part of its owner, whatever was most needed at the moment. Now it came to his fescue with the memory of Judge Ackroyd'# encounter with the drug clerk, as fhentioned by Bertram. There was a strangely hopeful sug­ gestion of some link between a drug­ store quarrel and the arrival of a mil­ lion-dollar dog, "better dead" in the hopes of his host.' "Miss Graham, I've gone rather far, I'll admit," said Jones; "but, if you'll give me the benefit of the doubt, I think I can show you some basis to work on. If I can produce something tangible, may 1 come back this after­ noon? I'll promise not to come unless I have good reason." 1 "Very well," conceded Miss Graham reluctantly, "it's a most unusual thing. < But ril agree to that." -- "Au revoir, then," be said, and was gone. Somewhat to her surprise and un­ easiness, Sylvia Graham experienced a distinct satisfaction ^when, late that afternoon, $he beheld her unconven­ tional .acquaintance mounting the Bteps with a buoyant and assured step. Upon being admitted, he -Went prompt­ ly to the point. "I've got it." "Your justification v far coming "back?" she asked. Vj"*' . "Exactly. Have you heard anything of some trouble in which Judge Ac! royd was involved last week5?' "Uncle has a very violent temper," admitted the girl evdslvely. "But 1 don't see what--1" h. "Pardon me. You will see. That row with a drug clerk." "Well?" ' "The drug clerk Insisted--as the law requires---on Judge Ackroyd register­ ing for a certain purchase."-- , "Perhaps he Was impertinent about it" i ^Possibly. The point is that the prospective purchase was cyanide of potassium, a deadly and instantaneous poison." "Are you lurs?" asked the girl, In a low voice. "I've just conie from the store. How. long have you been here at your un­ cle's?" , "A week." . "Then just about the time of your coming with the dog, your uncle un­ dertook to obtain a swift and sure' poi8ojk Have I gone far enough?" "I-^I don't know," . f "What is your uncle's attitude tow­ ard the dog?" . _ "Almost what you might call ingra­ tiating. But Peter Paul--that's my dog's name, you know--doesn't take to uncle." "He's a wise old doggie," amended the other with emphasis. "When does your uncle give up this house?" "At the end^ of the week. Uncle and aunt leave for Europe." , "Then let me suggest again that you and Peter Paul go at once." Miss Graham pondered. "No, I can't do that." "Do you realize that every day Pe­ ter Paul remains here is an added opportunity for Judge Ackroyd to make a million dollars, or a big share of it, by some very simple stratagem?" "1 haven't admitted yet that 1 be­ lieve my uncle to be a--a murderer," Miss Graham quietly reminded him. "Now, Jiiss Graham, would it grieve you vefy much if Peter Paul were to die?" J "T wonX have him put to death," said she quickly. "That would be cueating my grandmother's inten­ tions." "Miss Graham," he said slowly, 'won't you try to forget, for the mo­ ment, the circumstances of our meet­ ing, and think of nfe only as a friend of your friends who is very fybriestly $ager to be a friend to you, ^heuPyou most need one?" The girl's gaze met the man's level, and was held |n a long, silent regard. "Yes," she said simply. "Listen, then. I think I see a clear way. Judge Ackroyd will kill the dog if he can, and so effectually conceal the body that no funeral can be h^l over it, thereby rendering your grand­ mother's bequest to you void. He has only a few days to do it in, but I don't think that all your watchfulness can restrain him. Now, on the other hand, if the dog should die a natural death and be buried, he can still con test the will. But if he should kill Peter Paul and hide the body where we could discover it, the game would be up for him, as he then wouldn't even dare to come into court with a contest. Do you follow me?" "Yes. Qut you wouldn't ask me to be a party to any such thing." "You're a party, involuntarily, by remafning here. But do your best to save Peter Paul, if you will. And please call me up immediately at the Cosmic club, if anything turns up A^d, by the way; my beetles. 1 forgot and left them here. Oh, there's the box. I may ^ave a very specific use asthovstttt. last seen on West Si.cts»nth street. Liberal reward for Information to A nations. Care of Banner office. "Dear Mr. Jones (she had written): "Are you a prophet? (Average Jones chuckled at this point.) The In* closed seems to be distinctly in our line. Could you come some time this afternoon! JPlb puzzled and a littltf anxious. ^ Sincerely yours, SYLVIA GRAHAM." Average. Jones could, and did. He found Miss Graham's piquant face un­ der the stress of excitement,, distinctly more alluring ^han before. "Isn't it strange?" she said, holding out a hand in welcome. "Why BhOuld anyone advertise for my Peter Paul? He isn't lost." "I am glad to hear that," said the caller gravely. t "Do you know what that advertise­ ment means?" f "Perfectly. I wrbte it." "Wrote it! You? Well--really! Why in t»e world did you write it?*' "Because of an unconquerable long­ ing to soe"--Average Jones paused, and his quick glance caught the storm signal in her eyes--"your uncle," he concluded calmly. She rang £he bell, dispatched a serv­ ant, and presently Judge Ackroyd stalked into the room.. Judge "Oily" Ackroyd's greeting of the guest within his gates did not boar out the sobriquet of his public life. It was curt to the verge of. harshness. "What is the market quotation lift beetles, judge?" ask^d the young man, tapping the rug with his stick. "What are you talking about?" de­ manded the other, drawing down his heavy brows. "The black beetle; the humble but brisk haunter of household crevices," explained Average Jones. *&ou adver­ tised for ten thousand specimens. I've got a few thousand I'd like to dispose* of, if the inducements are sufficient." "I'm in no mood for joking, young man," retorted the other, rising, "Good! ill also ask you to watch f was pinned^ with t£a mosl dlssHtlsyJ the garden for any suspicious excavat- j grip known in the science of combat, ing/* j a strangle hold with the assailant's "What am I to do next?" she asked. J wrisf clamped below and behind the "Do as you would ordinarily do; ! ear. Average Jones lifted his voice only don't take Peter Paul into the street, or you'll have a qpore of high- school boys trailing you." She clung in his mind like a remem­ bered fragrance, after he had gone back to Astor Court temple to wait. Nor had he banished them, when, two days later, the telephone brought him her clear accents, a, littis .tremulous now. "Peter "ireST is gone." "Sln^e when?" , "Since ten this morniiif.. The ljouse is in an uproar." "I'll be up in half an hour at the latest. Let me in at the** basement door at half-past one. Judge Ackroyd mustn't see me." It was a strangely misshapen pres­ entation of the normally spick-and- span Average Jones that gently rang the basement bell of the old house at the specified hour. All his pockets bulged with lumpy angles, immediate­ ly, upon being admitted by Miss Gra­ ham herself, he proceeded to disem- burden himself of box after box, such as elastic bands come in, all exhibit­ ing a homogeneous peculiarity, a hole at one end thinly covered with a gelat­ inous substance. "Be very careful not to let that get broken," he instructed the mystified girl. "In the course of an hour or so it will melt away itself. Did, you see anything suspicious in the garden?" "No!" replied the girl. She picked up one of the boxes. "How odd!" She cried. "Why, there's something in it that's alive!"v "Very much so. Your friends, the beetles, in fact.. Where is your uncle?" J r ' "Upstairs in his study." "Do you think you could take me all through the house sometime this After­ noon without his seeing die?" Krrry25 ym 19i. It's the Insects. "You seldom are, I understand," re­ plied Average Jones blandly. "Well, if you won't talk about .bugs, let's talk about dogs." 'The topic does not interest me, sir," retorted the other, and the glance of his eye was baleful, but uneasy. The tapping of the young man's cane ceased. He looked up into his host's glowering face with «a seraphic and innocent smile. 'Not even if it--er--touched upon a device for guarding the Street corners in case--er--Peter Paul went walking --er--once too often?" Judge Ackroyd took one sfep for ward. Average Jones was on/his. feet instantly, and, even in her alarm, Sylvia C$paham noticed Wow swiftly and naturally bis whoLer form "set." But the big man tui^ned away, and abruptly left thS "Were you wise to anger him?" asked the girl, as the hp&yy. tread died away on the^stairs. "Sometimes open declaration of war is the soundest strategy." 'You spoke of having someone guard the cornet's of the block," re­ marked the girl, after a thoughtful si­ lence. "Do you think I'd better ar­ range for that?" "No indeed. There'll be a hundred people on watch." , "Have, you called out the militia?" she asked, twinkling. "Better than that. ° I've employed the tools of my trade." He handed her a galley proof marked with many corrections. She ran through it with growing amaze­ ment. "Doi aelibe to an HAVE YOU SEEN THE DOG? $100-^0ne Hundred Dollars--$100 For the Best Answer in 500 Words Open to All Htyh School Boys between „now and next Saturday an old Pug I>og will come out of a big House on West Sixteenth Streot, between Fifth and Sixth Avenue. It may be by day. It may be any hour of the* Night. NovV, you Boys, get to work. Rismember: $100 in Cash Open to All High School Boys 1--Description of Dog. 2--Description of Person with him. t--Description of House he Coxr&s ' from. Account of Where they GO. Account of What they Do. ' Manuscripts must be • written plainly and mailed within twenty- four hours of the discovery of the dog to A. JONES: AD-VISOR, 3- Astor Court Temple, New York a word against my aunt "I wonlt hear aunt.'*, ' from me," be assured. Yoijr aunt, so you have just told me, be­ lieves that your dog is in danger of being stolen. Why? Because she. knows that the person most interested has beeif sclifeming against the anj- mal, tind yet fthe is afraid to warn - jrou openly. Doesn't* that indicate who •^t is?" , ' • *" » / 'j ; ' 0. ' ' Au revoir--and may for them later. it be soon!" The two days succeeding seemed to Average Jones, haunted ^s he was by an importunate craving to look again into Miss Graham's limpid and change­ ful eyes, a duil and sodden period of probatfon. The messenger boy who finally brought her expected QOte, looked to him like a Greek godllng. The noteHhiclosed this clipping: tJOST--PUG DO <3 AN8 WERlNaNVTO the name of Peter Paul. Very old and S. every New ing," ex- "That Will appear in York paper tomorrow plained its deviser. r "I see," said the girl, -""Anyone Attempts to take Peter Paul away Vill be tracked by a band of boy detec­ tives. A stroke of genius, Mr. Aveft? age Jones." She curtsied low to him. But Av­ erage Jones was In no mood for play­ fulness now. ' "That restricts th'e judge's endeav­ ors to the house and garden," said he, "since, of course he'll see' the adver­ tisement." * • „ji^e that hs does,'/ said Miis Graham maliciously, "No, I'm sure I couldn't. He's been wandering like an uneasy spirit Since Peter Paul disappeared. And he won't go out, because he is packing." "So much the worse, either for him or me. Where are your rooms?" "On the second floor." f / "Very,well. Now, I want one dl these little boxes left In every room in the house, if possible, except on your floor, which is probably out of the reckoning. Do you think you could manage it soon?" "I think so. I'll try." "Do most of the rooms open Into one another?" "Yes. all through the house." "Please see that they're all un­ locked, and as fat* as possible, open. I'll be here at four o'clock, a$d will call for Judge AckrAyd. You must be (sure that he receives me. Tell him it is a matter of great importance. It is." With even more than his usual nice­ ty was Averpgfe Jones attired, when, at four o'clock, he sent his card to Judge Ackroyd. Small favor, however, did his appearance find, in the scowling eyes of the judge. "What do you want?" he growled, "l'll&take a cigar, thank you very much," said Average Jones innocently. "You'll take your leave, or state your business." "It has to do with your niece." "Then what do you take my time for, damn your Impudence?" Don't swear." Average Jones was liberately provoking the older man outbreak. "Let's--er--sit down and--er--be chatty." The drawl, actually an evidenee of excitement, had all the'effect of stud> ied insolence. Judge AckrOyd's blg frame shook. "I'm going to k-k-klck you out into the street, you young p-p-p-pup," he stuttered in his rage. His knotted fingers writhed out for a hold on the other's collar. With a sinuous movement, the visitor swerved aside and struck the other man, fiat- handed, across the face." There was an answering howl of demoniac fury. Then a strange thing happened. The assailant turned and fled, not to the ready egress of the front door, but down the dark stairway to the base­ ment. The judge thundered after, in maddened, unthinking pursuit-. Aver­ age Jones ran fleetly and easily. And his running was not for the purpose of flight alone, for as he sped through the basement rooms, he kept casting swift glances from side to side, up and! down the wails. ^Judge Ackroyd traHe^his quarry like a bloodhound through every room of the third floor, Uiill uywuiu tu luc fourth. The fourth floor of the old house was almost bare. In a hall-embrasure hi9ig a full-length mirror. All along the borders of this, Average Jones' quick-ranging vision had discerned small red-banded objects which moved and shifted. As t^e glass reflected his extended figure, it showed, almost at the same instant, the outstretched, bony hand pf "Oily" Ackroyd. With a snarl, half rage, half .satisfaction, the pursuor hurled himself forward--and fell,, jirIth a p!u"nge that rattled the house's old bones. Before the fallen and the name that came to his lips was the name that had lnrked sub­ consciously, in his heart, for days. "Sylvia!" he cried. . ^The fourth floor! Come!" . ' ^ There was a stir sad s cry from two floors below.. Sylvia Qraham had broken from the grasp of her terrified aunt, and now came, up the sharp ascent like a deer. • \ "The mirror," faid Aveiagcf Jones. "Push it 'aside. ^ Fttll it down. Get be­ hind it somehow. Lie quiet, Ackroyd or I'll have to choke your worthless head off.'" , With an effort of nervous strength, the girl lifted aside the big glass. Be­ hind it a hundred scarlet-banded in­ sects swarmed and scampered. r "It's a panel. Open it." She tu'gged at the woodwork with quick, clever fingers. A^sectlon loos­ ened and fell outward with a bang "Unless my little detectives have de­ ceived me," Jones said, "you'll find the body in there." % She groped, ahd drew forth a large box. In it was packed the body of Pet^r Paul. There was a cord about the fat neck. "Strangled," whispered the girl. "POor old doggie!" Then she Whirled upon the prostrate man' "You; mtfir- derer!" she said very low. v "It's not murder to put a dying brute out of the wwr," said the shaken man sullenly.- < J "But it's, fraud, In this case," retort­ ed Average Jones. "A fraud of which you're self-convicted. Get up." There was no more fight in Judge "Oily" Ackroyd. He slunk to the stairs and limped heavily down to his fright­ ened and sobbing wife. Miss Graham leaned against the wall; white and spent.,. Average Jones, his heart in his eyes, took a step forward. "No!" she said peremptorily. "Don't touch poie. I shall be all right." "Do you mind my saying," said Jones, "that you are the bravest and finest human being I've < met in a-a-somewhat varied career?" The girl shuddered. "I could have stood it all," she said, "but for those awful, crawling, red creatures." "Those?" said Average Jones. "Why, they were my bloodhounds, my little detectives." _<• "And what are they?" - "Carrion beetles," said - Average Jones. "Where the vultures of the in­ sect kingdom are gathered together, there the quarry lies." > Sylvia Graham drew a long1 breath. "I'm all right now," she pronounced. "There's nothinsr left. I suppose, hat to leave this house. And to thank you. How am i ever to thank you?" She lifted her eyes to his. "Never mind the thanks," said Av­ erage Jones unevenly. "It was noth­ ing." ' "It was--everything! It was won­ derful !^" cried the girl, and held put ner slender hapds to him. As they clasped warmly upon his, Average Jones' reason lost its balance. Bending over the little, clinging hands, he pressed his lips to them. Only for a moment. The hands slipped from his. There was a quick, frightened gasp, and the girl's face, all afiilsh with a new, sweet tearfulness and wondering confusion, vanished behind a ponder­ ous swinging door.t The young man's knees snook a lit­ tle as he walked forward and ptjt his lips close to the lintel. "Sylvia." , There was a faint rustle from with- in. 1 "I'm sorry. I mean, I'm glad. Glad­ der than of anything I've ever done in my llie." Silence from within. "Listen, there mustn't be itny misun­ derstanding about this, dear. If you send for me„ it must be because you want me; knowing that, When I come, I shall come for you. Good-by, dear." "Good-by." It was the merest whis­ per from behind the door. ^ Two days later he sat at his desk, in a murk of woe. No word nor sign had come to him from Miss Sylvia Gra­ ham. He frowned heavily as Simpson entered the ihner sanctum with the usual packet of clippings. ' "Leave them," he ordered. "Yes, sir." The confidential Clerk lingered, looking uncomfortable. "Any­ thing from yesterday's lot.Cslr?" "Haven't looked them over yet." ' "Or day before's?" "Haven't taken those up either." "If I might suggest, there's a very interesting advertisement in yester­ day's paper repeated this morn--" I don't^ want to see- It." • But--but still-^it it seems a strange reference to the the million-dollar dog, and &n invitation that i thought--" > "Where is it?( Give it to me!" For once ih his lif6, high pressure of ex­ citement had blotted out Average Jones' drawl. His employee thrust into bis hand this announcement from the Banner of that morning: DIED--AT 100 WEST SIXTEENTH street, September 14, Peter Paul, a dog, for many years the faithful and fond companion of the late Amelia Van Hal­ tern. Burial In accordance with the wish and will of Mrs. Van Haltern. at the fam­ ily estate, Schuylkill, September 17, at three o'clock. His friend, Don Quixote, is especially bidden to come. If he will. HEAL'rtlJjrtJYEDSlcT - fW a sore toe, first cut off tha tall for sore feet select only th$ heal «w»et* - / .• • ~H'¥- For a dw movies. To secur use sandpaper. anything thjĵ Gray hair is 1 dyed i»ny eolor. For indigestion, d will divert the mind, Before ah attack of appendicitis, amine bank account. * - For chills, hot air; for fever, ic*f . for sweats, a mangle. ^ Don't insist on keeping your healtlr all the time. It's stingy. V ' Eliminate boils as soon, as they jjfc* pear, using scissors or file. / I- When germs are present. kiUttetti saving ypursel^if possible. , . All bad eyes should bo with glass. It is sanitary 're: In sudden Illness be sure to be fra­ grant of whisky. T&ls will facilitati* police diagnosis. 7 ^ The rest cure Remands beds and couches Instead of chairs, this being the most recent discovery essential thereto. Nothing will break up a stiff joini like machinery. If, however, that should fail, employ eithe* boiling or freezing. An attack of neuralgia may be shortened by removing so much of the affected nerve. Repeat as often as desired. If you are deaf you are unfortunate In not being able to enjoy necessary noise. But, fortunately, yon do en* loy the unnecessary. If the throat is sore, remove ton* slls; if sore, remove the larynx; if that is not sufficient, examine thor­ oughly and operate on the nose, ears, or stomach,, as preferred.--Judge. < o com* Average Joneq/lealed to his feet. "Where's my hat? ^here's the time­ table? Get a cab! Simpson, you idiot, why didn't you make me read this bs= fore, confound you! I mean God bless you. Your salary's doubled from to­ day. I'm off." £Yes, sir," said the bewildered Simp1 son. a Miss Sylvia Graham looked down upon a slender finger ornamented with the oddest and the most appropriate of 6ugageiu6uL lilies, a scarab beeiie red-banned with three ~ deep-hued rubies. / ,< 4 "But, Average," she\sfcia, and the golden laughter flickered again in the brown depths of her pyes, "not even you could expect a girl to accept a faan through a keyhole." "I^suppose not," said Average Jones with a sigh of profoundest content. "Some are f<M" privacy in these mat­ ters; others R>r publicity Rut I sup­ posed I'm the first man in histgry who ever got Jjis heart's answer in an ad- vertisem^it." * • .»- - (Copyright. The Bobbs^AtefTlU OcMBpany^ man could gather his shaken wits, he mm, WISE AND OTHERWISE It's on his bending knees a ma's jqnires !»g«r tttHwer#. ' ^ ao- Don't cast pearls before They are not fattening. swine. A good way to make a slow horso fast is not to feed him. It Is easiest to arbitrate after you have licked your opponent. A good thing may be cheap, but a? * cheap thing is seldom good- It doesn't pay a merchant- to let the sheriff do his advertising. Sometimes a man stops at a hotel In order to avoid home comforts. A lot of people pray as If thwy thought the lord needed their advice. If a woman has a mirror In her room there Is where the carpet wears out first Beware of the smooth Individual. It's the rough cogs in the wheel that do the worfc WEDDING CEREMONIES In the old service books the bridegroom promised« to take his bride hot only "for richer, for poorer," but also "for fair­ er, for fouler." It was formerly tire custom for rings to be distributed at weddings. At an Elizabethan wedding over £4j)00 worth were. givenr away. * Formerly no wedding, rich or •poor, took place without the happy pair being escorted to and from the ceremony awith music. i 4 MAJESTY OF 6ALMNESS j Be calipi., ' ' • Be'dlgnified. So many try it. So few realize it. Cahhness gives poise. There's real majesty in it. Compare those who have it with others. And then decide to achieve calm* ness for yourself., Some of us wouldn't know c^rselves if we stopped worrying. Hurry and worry are not Only in bad taste--they're a disease. ... Go at all things sanely and calmly tad keep at them In the same way. BASEMENT BAKGAINS Bven-a peacefulj^oman is willing to strike a bargain. . , * ; ^ The wrinkles on a busy jmercfetftt's face are his trade marks. . tV • A bargain-hunting woman drawn the Hw« at a cheap-looking husband. But it isn't always safe to Judge the value of an article by the figures marked on the ticket attached to tt. \ - •