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Cranks and "Bugs" Infest Gotham's City Hail N1 AtOMrtO-iTO miser w memsT- E\V YORK,--As the flame attracts the moth, so does city hall attract cranks and "bugs" and, "nuts"--more than any other spot on earth. But none of them can get by Lieut. "Bill" Kennel, the big cop who guards that k. i Sanctum sanctorum, the mayor's of- /Sfor | I *" "flee. "A soft answer turneth away I (^noPV^%l f t ^rath>" Quotes "Bill," meaning there- I1AY0 R 4 f*"' A-10 • / ^ I by that with the average crank, man TO v*pr » ! 1 or .woman, who comes to see the «hy 7 ̂ *L n,ttyor about renting city hall or sell- .1 , r ° \^3 ins him a charm for several millions Wr IVE CEm V %. ». whereby hfs mayoralty chair is Injured riA ik<>n j | to him forever--some of the actual / A \| j I things that have happened In the past J5W yrw J W --the best way to handle them is the easiest way. Then you get their con- [f' *' fidence and their good will. "We have ;%v'""not as many of them in these days as years ago," says "Bill." "Nowadays - they write letters. Recently a fellow called around to give the mayor a ; solution for the problem of the unemployed. 'Judge Gary,' he said, 'doesn't ":v ; know anything about the game'--It will be recalled that Mr. Gary was head of the mayor's committee on employment--"and I want to give him the real notation.' " The mayor is very busy today,' I told h|m. 'But If you tell me your scheme I'll be glad to inform him.' 'Well, yon see, it's this way,' said the caller. 'You know, I own the municipal building and I don't like its archi­ tecture. So I propose to tear it down. That will give employment to thou­ sands. Of course, I will rebuild it. But in the meantime thousands of men, working four shifts a day, will have a Job. Five dollars a day to each. Send me the bill.' And he walked off. , "Then there Is a bearded Russian who wears sandals and linen clothes who drops Into the city hall every so often to interest the mayor in his •back-to-nature' cult. 4I am a real descendant of Adam,' he says, 'and when we get our Garden of Paradise none of us will wear clothes. I'm sure the mayor would give me a million--he owes it to me--if I could see him, so that I could buy the place.'" "He's trying to raise that million," says "Bill," every time the back-to-nature man appears. The walking bugs--that is, the fellows who start to walk from New York to San Francisco or around the world--are the real pests of dty halL They ail want a letter from the mayor, or to have their records vised. More than once has "Bill" rolled down the steps In his fight with a crank. Memphis Preparing to Dedicate Immense Bridge MEMPHIS, TENN.--Almost on the spot where De Soto stood when he first gazed upon the Father of Waters rests the eastern pier of the great Harahan bridge that spans the Mississippi river, connecting Tennessee and Arkansas. The bridge, with its ap­ proaches, is three miles long, has cost *8,000.000 and will be fully completed this winter and formally dedicated next April. It will have required three years and a half to build. In its construction 23,000 tons of steel are used. The spans ov^r the channel of the river total one mile, while on the Ar­ kansas side there are two miles of steely and stone construction over the low river bank district. The bridge < Is 55 feet above the highest water ever known. This will permit steamboats to pass under It at higji water without passing through a draw. When the river is at extremely low stage the upper works of the bridge tower almost 150 feet above the surface of the river. Two railroad tracks cross the bridge, besides a spacious driveway for wagons and automobiles, and sidewalks for foot passengers. Wagon and foot traffic will pass free of charge. The celebration of the completion of the bridge, which will be held next April, will be the occasion of the greatest pageant ever held in this part of the Mississippi valley. Assurances have been secured from the navy depart­ ment that battleships, submarines and other vessels will participate in the celebration. Among the craft will be floats of historical character, and the fact that the Memphis pier rests on or near the spot where De Soto discovered the river will be made the basis of a celebration In honor of the great Spaniard. It * " Old Men's Workshop Is Unique New York Charity NEW YOEfc.--The Old Man's workshop, conducted by the New York associ­ation for improving the condition of the poor, is giving respectable, elderly ,/tnen a chance to remain self-supporting and an opportunity to pass the evenings of their lives in something else beside Idle and eventless days. Another purpose of the workshop is to provide light work . for men tempo­ rarily handicapped by sickness * until they can go back to a man's full- fledged Job. The working capacity of none of these men is great and their tasks must be comparatively easy. As a result, the workshop schedule calls for six hours a day and the minimum wage paid is about 60 cents a day. The average attendance at the •hop during the year Is about: 70, running as high as 100 In the winter and dropping to 40 in the summer, as many of the men are able to secure some kind of light out-of-door work during the latter period. . The association makes an effort to get them such, using the shop only as a last resort when nothing else can be found for ihem. At the present time the shop is especially busy turning out toys which are being sent Into all of the hospitals and the homes where children are suffering from infantile paralysis. They are also being sent to children who, while free from the disease, have been quarantined In their homes because of the removal Of some member of the family to a hospital. lood Chew, Order, Beauty ailed in Home of the outhern Woman Long Ago In her social progresses she rode la * velvet-lined coach drawn by four or Six horses--not one too many for the mud holes to be pulled through in those brave times, writes Octavia Zol- licoffer Bond in Southern Woman. Her negro coachman. In cloth coat and brass buttons, who could be trusted t«) drive her a hundred miles In safe­ ty, skillfully handled the tines, while liveried footmen swung jauntily to the carriage straps behind, ready to spring to the ground, open the door and let down the folding steps at the will of the mistress. As to her whole­ some life at home, Thomas Nelson Page has covered ,the case in assert­ ing that "the system of living In the South made the domestic virtues as common as light and air." House­ wifely thrift aqd executive ability of a high order made the home of the Southern woman who was true to the type an Eden for all who partook of her hospitality. Good cheer, order and beauty prevailed from the entrance hall, impressive with Its array of an­ cestral portraits, to the clean and am­ ple kitchen and servants' quarters. The well-filled smokehouse, the poul­ try yard astir with fowls, the pantry supply of jelly, pickle, cordial, "bounce" and preserves, the cellar stocked with the choicest vintages of the old world, and the garden growing with every herb, vegetable and flower known to the new, were results of the industry of the lady bountiful of ye olden time. And, withal, the "swept and garnished" guest rooms, as rarely unoccupied as vacuums occur In na-. ture, were dainty with lavender scent­ ed linens, waxed floors and polished mahogany. » MAN MUST LABOR AND WORK TO BE HEALTHY AID HAPPY By DR. SAMUEL O. DIXON, Commissioner of Health of Pennsylvania. Man was intended to labor by the All wise Creator. Our mental and physical make-up is such that occupation is essential to continued well- being. .7 , From the hunter, the fisherman and the rude agriculturist, man has evolved a complicated civilization. There are thousands of occupations today in place of the few primitivo ones, but still the majority of these center about the fulfilling of the primary necessities, feeding and clothing mankind - It has become impossible for the laborer to work under the conditions which originally obtained. Besides the fields and forests, we have mine, mill and mart Man has progressed mfentallyta ••',|«BiiarkaWe d<a^I-W.<w® cannot say that of his physical development. ,However, his requirements are much the same as those of our remote ancestors, Sunlight, fresh air, pure water and physical exercise are absolutely essential to the mainte­ nance of 'health. ' * ' t "*'•" 'If the conditions under which men and women labor do not make this possible, they are detrimental to the individual and to society at large, for upon the health of its people defends the ultimate future of any nation. No machinery can entirely replace the sinews of labor. To be healthy and happy, one must love his work. ^ "HORSE AUTO" IS T*E UWtSt h 3?' V*,' •**?! . „ . . . . . £ /. ftvX-X: Tortoise Shell Now that tortoise shell has once more come into public favor It is well to know a way In which to clean and polish It. When tor­ toise shell loses its luster from wear the polished surface may be restored to Its original con­ dition by carefully rubbing It with powdered rottenstone and oil. The rottenstone should be very carefully sifted through the finest muslin. When all scratches on the surface of the tortoise shell are thus removed, a bril­ liant polish may be given It by applying gentle friction with a piece of soft leather to which some jeweler's rouge; has been applied. GRIFF RECALLS HOW TRICK PEEVED VETERAN BATTEf A Few Smiles. Wise and Otherwise. and she usu-Mlsery loves company- ally has plenty of It. Too much of the noise In this world tries to pass Itself off as music. It's better to be wrong at the right time than right at the wrong time. Any man who can catch a flea In the dark can hoe his own row in poli­ tics. There Is no hope for the man who acts the hj^x>crite even when be Is alone. A woman who Is a has-been beauty Is as fussy as a man who has lost his hair. ' Many a man's love for his club is due to the fact that his wife never gives her tongue a rest. Give a man his choice of making friends or money and he'll not hesi­ tate more than a second. * Few men have will power enough to do the things they don't want to do and don't have to, but should do. Books are desirable companions; when they bore you It Is an easy mat­ ter to shut them up without giving offense. A propeller driven by the air as a car is running has been invented to blow rain away from the windshield of an automobile. tl "-'V - Little Snake Causes Quakes in the Quaker City PHILADELPHIA.--When a 12-inch snake wriggled Its way across Chestnut street near Twelfth the other afternoon towurd the curbstone scores of men and women looked, stopped and then edged away as the reptile ap­ proached nearer. Several exception­ ally timid women fled, terror-stricken. A snake on Chestnut street was not an everyday occurrence. Finally a groulp of men, braver /than their fellows, formed a circle 1 around the snake. It lifted its head <nu$f wiggled its tail and the crowd broke for cover. A reserve policeman approached, took a look and advised the bystanders to move away. .."That's a rattlesnake," he said. **I •gueis I better call for the cruelty wagon." A§ he departed a man approached who has known snakes all his life. To/the astonishment of the spectators he bent down, picked up the snak£ ana walked away. He had recognized it as a "De Kay garter" snake, the smallest of North American species and one of a harmless variety. It is believed that t^e snake crawled into an automobile In soma out-of-town ; •frafcte and dropped to the street upon Its arrival In the city. • : V QUITE AMENABLE. " ? " "This Texas capitalist says he is going to show those New Yorkers a jr t|iag or two." „ v "Well, if one of the things he shows them la his bank roll, they won't f; abject."--Birmingham Age-Herald. NOT F<AFt WRONG. *VM»-t-OrC-^a-C-y,H spelled Tommy, reading aloud. It .triumphantly. "Autocrazy." „ And he wondered why his father laughed. After a pause, he Senators' Manager Maintains That Tommy Tucker Was Maddest Man He Ever Saw on Ball Field. "It has been my luck," say# Clark Grifllth, "to see a large number of- peeved and angry people in this old game of baseball, particularly gentle­ men against whom I have been lucky enough to do some successful pitching. "I still think, however, that the mad­ dest man I ever did behold was that grand old Monolith of the old Boston team--Mr. Thomas Tucker. The occa­ sion on which I beheld the fury of this famous warrior is still green in my memory, and can never forsake me. "Old Tommy Tucker was pretty neaiv ly on his last legs so far as big league baseball was concerned, and hits to him were more precious than rubles and diamonds when we bumped to­ gether one summer afternoon. It was a big game, a most Important game, and I really had to win it. I loved Tom Tucker very much, but I loved my salary more. "The battle was a hot one, running along on pretty even terms till near the close, when we managed to get & couple on the bases and good old Uncle Anson did the rest with one of those murderous hits that they don't make now, the old man not being there to soak them. That Boston bunch was never whipped till the last man was counted out, and they went after me strong In the death rally. First thing I,knew they had the cushions populous, two down, and old Tom Tucker stand­ ing firmly at the plate. I worked him Into biting at ttoo wide ones, then fed him two more, which he refused to reach after. It was coming down to cases and no mistake. Just at this juncture I happened to remember a trick of Indoor base­ ball--the enormous upshoot which is put on an Indoor ball by swinging It, underhand, with the knuckles upper­ most and the ball rolling off the palm. It causes a huge upshoot bull, but Is not practicable for outdoor ball be­ cause, at the greater pitching distance, the ball would lose all its^speed long before It reached the platter. "I decided to throw that ball just as a desperate experiment, and I threw it. Oame Fashion's Decrees. All the new materlalx are soft. The leg-o'-muttou sleeve Increases in favor. " The new blouses are worn over the skirt. The fichu style In neckwear Is still fashionable., Duvetlne Is revived for autumn tail­ ored suits. Burgundy will De a color of fashion this winter. Fashions for the'girl of fifteen are extremely simple. Even little girls are having dresses made of taffeta. The full straight skirt will be worn through the autumn. * Paisley shawl trimmings will be in favor for tailored suits. A tulle wedding veil edged with sil­ ver cord Is a new Idea. Fabrics imitating fur are going to have a tremendous vogue. AT H E R WORST. -•yk Dnmael /hard at work at the pinno)--I sing my best when he is near, -gtude man (lo a tragic whisper as he turns over the music)--He cant arrived ~ """" Clark Griffith. The globule sauntered along, way low, below Tom's kneeline, and he stood scolling at it. Then, just as the ball caine parallel with him, It leaped and whirled over the plate, while the um- pire'yelled 'Strike three !' "Old Tom Tucker laid dowp his bat and started toward me, with evidence of much excitement on his face, but 1 was already on my way. and was go­ ing fast. That night he cuiue to the hotel looking for me and publicly an­ nounced that he Intended to slay me on sight, but 1 wasn't In and he never got his hands upou me." More Goats Thin Sheep. "The pastor nnd his flock." "Itnther a pretty Idea, eh?' "Yes, but whll«* our pastor call him­ self a shepherd, 1 fear he Is 1n Ivality a goat-herd." "Convincing Hard-Luck Story. "I thought you said you were go­ ing to have the $100 you lent Jib- way, or know the reason why?" "I didn't get it, and I know the reason why." "What is Itr " J i b w a y t o o k me to one side and showed me by the tailor's label Inside his coat that he was wear­ ing a suit made In 1912." ,Point In His Favor. "We'll have to promote this young man." "He seems to be doing good work." "Yes. And furthermore, when some­ thing turns up and he has to stay at the office half an hour later than us­ ual, I notice he doesnt call up four or five people over the telephone and In „a despairing voice tell them they will have to go on without him.'-' His Specialty. "Haven't you any trade or profes­ sion?" Inquired the kind lady, as she handed the husky hobo a hunk of home-grown pie and a sandwich. "I uster be a understudy fer a pro- feshlonal boxer, ma'am," answered the h. h. "Professional boxer!" echoed the k. L "Yes, ma'am," he replied. "He was a undertaker." Looking Ahead. "Now. this is the kind of movie I like. It's educa­ tional." "Why, it's all about a vampire." "Just so. I may meet a vampire some of these days and then I'll know how to pro­ tect myself."" A Rare 8pectacie. "You say that campaign for sheriff of this county Is being conducted on a high plane?* "It couldn't be more genteel If the rival candidates were seeding the presidency of a young ladles' semin­ ary." Uses of Paper. The uses of paper are extending very rupidly. Bags made of spun pa­ per are a growing Swedish product, and American manufacturers are be­ ginning to produce them. Coffee bags are made of single strand, open weave, with a sheet of paper pulp inside. Onion bags are being offered. Several firms are engaged la making some very attractive furniture or water-proofed paper reeds woven over wooden jujd rattan frames. The Swedes are mak­ ing a three-stranded spun-paper rope for general use that is well spoken of. Paper horse blankets sound queer, but they are being made. Fireproof fab­ rics sound still more odd. but they are making them nevertheless on a paper basis. The Japanese, who are the most expert of all in the utilization of pa­ per. are making aviator's suits of oiled pai>er that are very light and resistant to cold. SOME THINGS THAT ARE NEW When a young man 'gets married his mother always wonders what he can wm la a girt like that. * ' . A frofltetf-plass cone that will fit any hanging electric light shade has been Invented to diffuse the otherwise glar­ ing light. To carry smaller boats within large craft a Dutch Inventor has patented a vessel with hinged doors at one end of the hull, through which boats can be floated. A new handbag for women Is auto­ matically locked whenever It Is closed, the means for opening the lock being within the handle so that It is cov­ ered and protected by the hand carry- lug it For handling . bulk cargoes a CaM- fornlan has tnvei ted a- combined bucket conveyor thvt unloads freight cars rapidly and delivers their con­ tents Into wagons. A- German Invention enables a per­ son to take a steam or hot air bath at home, a hood flttfhg over one end of a bathtub confining the vapor from the regular hot water supply. Wvt vm 1|» connection with a piano or organ keyboard a Swedish Inventor has perfected electrical apparatus which transcribes music as it Is com­ posed on a wax ribbon, from which It may be copied. Machinery for ships la which steam turbine and an oil engine are coupled to each propeller, permitting either kind of fuel to be used, has been pat­ ented by a Swiss inventor. To protect boggage as It Is unload­ ed at railroad stations movable plat­ forms have been designed, made of pieces of old air-brake hone fastened across resilient wooden strips. A novel automobile alarm of English Invention consists of a gong placed near the cooling fan and struck by Its blades as It Is drawn against them by a wire from the driver's sefiL An electrical annunciator device, op­ erated by push buttons on chairs throughout a hall. Is working success­ fully In Holland to auction eggs with­ out the usual noise and confusion oi New use for An old harness model. Mr. J. D. Dousette, shown on the "horst- auto," bought this discarded modei, which originally cost $500, frfem the French Carriage company of Boston and sawed off the legs arid attached if. to the body of an auto, to use in parades, «te. The "horse-auto" ie stccrwd by the wheel which was run up through the chest of the horse and the brill and speeds are controlled Inthe stirrups. - > USE OIL LIBERALLY Saving in Lubricant Means Extra Wear on tha Working Parts of Auto. FARMER NEEDS AUTO EXPERT GIVES GOOD ADVICE Urges Owners of Cars to Drain Used Oil From the Ctank Case of Ma­ chine at-Regular Intervals, Re- Placing It With a Fresh Supply. "The car owner who takes pride In telling how he covered 1,000, 1,500 or 2,000 miles on a gallon of motor oil, is practicing false economy," says a professional driver. "The mileage rec­ ord he boasts of per. gallon of oil may scUnd impressive, but while such an owner is saving the price of several gallons of oil, he is setting up a wear in the working parts of the motor which will eventually cost more to replace than any amount of oil that would have been used. "Motor oil, no matter how good, loses its lubricating qualities after being in the motor a certain length of time, especially in hot . weather. It disintegrates, leaving only a remnant of what was once good motor oil, and it has no value as far as lubrication is Concerned. "The wise owner will drain all the >11 from the crank case of his car every 1,000 miles of service, regardless of how much oil is still there at the time. He will then replace with good, fresh, clean oil. In doing this regularly he will, prolong the life of his car Indefinitely. "Another place where lack of lubri­ cation can do damage is in th.e rear axle and transmission. For here the •action of the gears has the same ef­ fect upon grease as the action of working parts of the motor has on oil. It robs* the grease in time of tb& lubricating qualities by the proc­ ess of disintegration. > "If the owner will take care in add­ ing fresh grease every 1,500 miles--it is not necessary to replace the sup­ ply which is in the rear axle and trans­ mission at the titne--he will save many a dollar in the long run. "It is well enough recognized that lubrication is the life of a motor car. It is a fact, too, that many owners keep enough oil and grease in their cars. But the freshness of the lubri­ cant requires attention and is of greater Importance than the quantity. We impress this point on the auto owners. Every dollar spent by the owner on proper lubrication saves $10 in other expenses, aside from the an­ noyances of poor operation and the delays due to trying to make a\gallon of oil or a few pounds of grease per­ form their functions when they be­ come 'pepless' from too long, service." SSL v. Care of Auto Tires. Bfly a tire tester.. It will cost about II. To prevent rim cutting and broken dewn fabric, keep tires inflated to the following pressure: 8-lnch tire, 60 pounds, 3^-inch, 70 pounds; 4-inch, 80 pounds; 4%-inch, 90 pounds, 5-inch, 100 pounds. Seal all cuts in rubber either with tire dough or by vulcanization. This is Important to prevent moisture and sand from reaching the fabric. When not In use, keep tires In a cool dark place. Do not start or atop sud­ denly. . Do not turn corners at a high rate of speed. Be sure the front wheels are par­ allel. Do not allow oil to get on the tires. Do not use too much or too little tale in the tires. Too little causes the tubes to stick while too much causes a gradual accumulation into a solid ihmp which Is a frequent cause of punc­ ture. Do not put a tire on a rusted rim. Philadelphia Motor Regulations. The proposed new motor regulations for Philadelphia, sweeping in their changes, have been passed as iaws with very little modification. They fur­ ther restrict parking privileges, and In some sections where traffic Is very heavy a car is permitted to stop only as long.as Is required to discharge and take on passengers. Regulation of horns, lights, and highway signs Is also Included in the ordinance, which, on the whole, Is said to be the most drastic yet passed by any American dty. GOOD REASONS WHY AQRICI||^ TURIST8 ARK HEAVY BUYERS. Possession -of a Car, for One Thlftfc Does Away With All F« - of Isolation. The automobile manufacturer* have had the opportunity this year to gain valuable first-hand knowledge of the'prosperity of American agricul­ ture. For the big purchasers of this season are the farmers. 4?hey are said to be buying more than twice as 'many cars as urban residents are. One dealer makes the statement that the majority of the high-priced ma­ chines are being placed in the rural districts. Perhaps the automobile uninten­ tionally is to be the agent for halting the movement away from the farm.. The motor car Is the enemy of Iso­ lation, the worst curse with which the farming Industry has been afflicted. It relieves tedium swiftly and cheap­ ly. It permits of social Intercourse without labor or planning1 or prepara­ tion. To the young people in the country, we can believe, the automo­ bile is a godsend. It can break K day's routine, furnish a reward for dull and heavy work, as nothing else can. The farmer who can bundle hts family Into a car In the evening and go driving many miles from home has something that will keep the family together better than all the tons of writing about the beauty of country life and the disadvantages of life in the cities. ; The .day was when the farmer hated the automobile as he hated a pest among his potato vines. It has even been charged that he dug holes In the highways to discourage the trav­ elers from using his roads. But that day is passed. The fartner has adopt­ ed the machine for reasons quite plain and practical to his mind. . The car promises to do even more for him than, he asks. It may halt the decline of his industry. MIRROR AND LAMP COMBINED • ** Best of Methods Designed to Enabta Driver to 8ee the Road Situa­ tion Behind Him. As an added feature of the already popular motor-car spotlight, a ne^r lamp of this type has been brought out » The 3mnit Mirror Mounted In the Handle of This Motor-Car. Spotlight Gives a Driver a Glimpse of the Road at the Rear. with a small concave mirror mounted at the back of its knoblike handle. During the daytime this gives a driver a fairly clear view of the road behind him, and also obviates the necessity of attaching a separate appliance to a car. The device is provided with the usual parabolic reflector as well as i special Interior focusing arrangement. Its universal bracket can be clamped to either a windshield or fore door, as is desired. -- Popular Mechaatw Magazine. '>r:' Using Lock Washers. Many owners in replacing parts often forget to replace lock washers, yet these parts are really necesskry when an ordinary nut Is used. Should the part to be helfl In place be soft It Is best to allow the lock washer to rest against a flat washer, and not directly against the soft metal. " W ••as*-.: To Take Glare Out of Mafao* After a conference with representa­ tives of motor organizations, dealers' associations and pubflc officials, thifc Maine Automobile association has sent out a request to all members of the- organisation to put on some sort device to eliminate the glare. ' ..1 !-- ' j-.Jl, , Output Constantly Increases. V > Output of automobile factories the United States in the year enriitljt" June 1913 was C00.000. It is estimated that the total production for the year ^̂ ^̂ "̂lindlng June 1010 pas about ttOO.OtNk - • 2:4k* p. ZSi*. >