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' r , ! Jir % M'HWRY PLAHO>] THE WPHENRY PLAINDEALER Published every Thursday at McHenry, El., by Charles F. Renich. , Entered as second-class natter at the poetoffice at McHeniy, DL, ' 4m the act of May 8,1879. MxriplkB Ratca CM Tear ~ 'Six Months ..$2.00 *.$1.09 a. A. E MOSHBR, Editor and Manager P* ALONG LIFE'S TRAIL BY THOMAS ARKLE CLARK ' Dm of Mm. Cilnnttf «f mhHie. THE PRACTICAL JOKER fcome foreign countries, as highly «t?31ieed as otir own perhaps, once "H; followed the beneficent custom of '-ansporting oat the country i s e n s whose procedure was not In accord* >»>ce with those inciples which emed to tend to • e development of the best sort of society. Thieves ang nrard e r « r f and house breakers and tn'ose moral presence was objectionable were loaded into tbe proper •s<jrt of conveyance and gently de- •posited upon some remote shore from which escape was difficult or Jmposslble. Thus Isolated many of them ,gtew up into good citizens 4fco practiced economy and built cities and forgot their criminal tendencies.' I am -not at all rare bat that It was si admirable way to get rid of objectionable characters for whom capital jjranishment would seem too severe or too lenient; I should at least recommend It for the man who points an alleged empty gun at your head and for the practical joker. I see no good Reason why the practical joker should not be wiped out. Be has no, sense of homor for hnmor really is kind, 'sympathetic, pleasant spirited. A humorous man has "no intention of giving anyone pain or dis»- comforL He wants to laugh, it is -true, bnt seldom at tbe victim of his Joke but with him. A freshman last Christmas, a thousand miles from borne and too poor to make the journey across country, was desperately homesick. All his Mends were gone, his boarding house was eloped, and he was quite alone, away from home at Christmas for the • first time in his life. A call came over the telephone and a man's voice spoke * Inviting tbe boy to dinner at the home of one of his protestors. His gloom vanished, some one had thought of him. When he called at the professor's house no one was there. It •jfas a practical Joke which some keen iWlnfled acquaintance had played upon 'im and fie ha.<) no recourse. f'v.nny, wasn't ft? < ~ fFeatpf# tyejr«p*per paloa.) Woodstock*» Beautiful Play House Matfeheca Son.-Wed.-8at 2'M Evenings 7*9 FRIDAY -- SATURDAY All Talking George Jessel In "LOVE, LIVE AND LAUGH" with f l lila Lee and David Jf' . also Rollings Talking Comedy Movietone Newg SUNDAY -- MONDAY TUESDAY All Talking, Singing, Dancing Bert Wheeler and Rob't Woolsey ;; in • ->THE CUCKOOS" %he world's greatest comedy team tops its work in "Rio Rite" Also Talking Comedy > - Movietone Newg | WEDNESDAY THURSDAY All Talking Bebe Daniels "ALIAS FRENCH GERTIE" f . with V:|jtter New Hnsbapd „Ben Lyon * > ~ Also Talking Comedy K Movietone Newg | (Tb« Long Way Round By LA. DA VIES «XJ O-O-O," drawled old Mr. MIIll- , IN kin, glancing shrewdly np at the eagereyed young man in the battered* little car, "I don't know as I'd care to have my Polly married, Peter, unless 'twas to some up-an'-comin* young feller." "I thought I was up and coming, Mr. Millikin," said Peter, trying hard to smile. 'Tve been coming around to see Polly for a year now." "Yep--and you've taken the same route every time, Peter Marr, the longest way around--all the way around by Shelby's quarry and the old hill, when the shortest way from your house to mine is to cut across the green--and here you are In five minutes." '1 know that--I've thought of that way--I used it often as a boy, but in the last year I Just «atmot help coming around by the quarry !" "Just can't hti® trusting time and money, eh?" ' "Money?* "Gasoline, WftEtt yuu*rt rlfflhg your little bus, here." Peter glanced down at the shabby fllwer. "I suppose it does seem that way to other people, but I've got the habit of coming the long way around, and it's hard to break. Now, what you just said about Polly--you know, Mr. Millikin, it means a lot to me coming here to see her, and hoping all the time that some day--" Be stopped and looked off at the bold shoulder jf the quarry hill that jutted ajgainst the blue sky. Of course, Peter, you know ma and I think a lot of you. being a' nice boy and we've known you all our lives, and I always thought Polly did, too, but she's a prudent girl, and you. couldn't blame her if she did get rather interested in that new automobile salesman that's staying over to Andrew's place. He's always wanting to take us all out in his cars--and ma and I certainly do enjoy it in our old age." chuckled reminlscently. "And Polly?" questioned Peter's low, strained voice. , "Well--she's nice to film," admitted Mr. Millikin. "Now, that young feller, he never comes the long way around when he's coming here. Peter; he Just shoots around the corner by the church and he's here in two minutes. That's the way he come tonight, and whiffed off Polly and her mother, while you was mooehin' all around by the quarry in your bus. Well, Polly's gone for the evening--sorry," said Mr. Millikin, and, stepping back inside his own gate, he watched tbe disappointed suitor drive off. "Going back the same way--long way around, jiminy," ejaculated Polly's father as he hobbled around to the rear of tbe house to feed the chickens. "I Just can't see our Polly marrying anyone that's not got mora wit* than Peter M^rr." That night when Polly cane home, her father related his conversation with Peter. The girl looked downcast and sorry. I "Poor Peter," she sighed, thinking of how her mother bad enjoyed the ride with Mr. Smart, the automobile salesman. Polly went Into the house at last, her thoughts lingering on her old friend, Peter Marr. "If Peter comes around by the quarry, there's something that he's Interested in," she decided. The next day they heard that Peter Marr bad bought the old quarry and all the surrounding acres. "What'd I tell you?" demanded Mr. Millikin of bis family. "That boy's a fool to go and buy a wornout quarry." Another week brought a corps of engineers who surveyed the property and It was another week before the amazed villagers learned that oil had beer discovered there and Peter Marr, owning it all, would be a very rich man. "How about the longest way aronnd now, father?" asked Polly quizzically. "It's the shortest way home sometimes," admitted Mr. Millikin, "and I do confess, now that I know all about It, that Peter showed a long head for such a youngster." "Yes," admitted Peter modestly to Mr. Millikin that eYening. "I've had my eye on that property since last year when I was hunting and found traces of oil in an old drill hole, so I got aji option on it and I've been testing there--going arotlnd every chance I got, and then--all at once, that night we had our talk, Mr. Millikin, "I was sure! Is Polly home tonight?" "That there Mr. Smart has taken them to prayer meeting In his speedy car," regretted Mr. Millikin. "Then, I'll Just run around there and bring them home--by the longest way around. Have I your permission, sir?" 4 "Oh, go on, do as you like, Peter, I can't tell you anything!" chuckled Mr. Millikin contentedly. (Copyright.) John Paul Jodm a Smuggler John Roul Jones, first mam to bring glory t</ the American flag at sea, was a 'smuggler in his youth. He helped brfng to the shores of Scotland cargoes which the British gov ernment was trying to exclude, atid his activities in dodging and fighting the British warships that Were trying to break up that trade gave him the seamanship and knowledge of tactics that were to make him such a great naval leader later on.--Kokomo Tribune. SUDDENLY FINDS HIS ARM IS GONE M*a ia Victim of Mysterious *T' Accident, * -Maine.--Vltftm olft of" the most mysterious accidents ever reported to local authorities, Oeorge Thomas, twenty-five, of Winchester. Mass., lies in the Troll hospital here. Driving through the town of Wells with Aubrey Stott, Winchester, and Albro McCullough of Maiden, Thomas lost his arm and he doesn't know how he did it The three were near the post office and store at Moody In the town of Wells, when they met a large truck. Soon after the machines passed each other, Thomas remarked to his companions that his left arm felt numb. They halted by the roadside and when he turned around he discovered that his arm was gone, while blood was pouring from the stump near the. shoulder. The arm had been severed as cleanly as though shaved off with a huge axe with razored edge. Stott and McCullough, who could scarcely believe what they had seen, Jumped from the car, began to look around, and going back a short distance they found Thomas' arm lying in the road. Although bleeding profusely, Thomas continued to drive until they., reached the store and there was given first aid by a physician before being brought to the hospital. Examination of his car here showed that the door handle on the left-hand side was missing and it Is believed that some very sharp projection on tbe passing truck struck Thomas, though he declared he felt no blow. THU1SDAY, JUH$ 26, 1930 W*3 nt .Ad s T«»aU Ball Call# ;• K \' Eyebrows Are Again O. K. Despite Beauty Doctors Paris.--Eyebrows are in again in Paris and despite the opposition of beauty doctors the plucking fad la definitely out. The revolt of fashionable women against the style that gave faces the bald and slightly astonished expression of a female Buddha just recovering from an electric shock, and which in addition was extremely painful, has been widely remarked by observers of such phenomena in this wayward capital. "It is momentous, the returir of the eyebrows," declares Gisele de Blezville, one of the most noted French authorities on feminine vagaries. "It means the return of personality. It won't be considered vulgar any more for women to reveal a little of their natures. "It is well known eyebrows are terribly revelatory, particularly of the passions." Beauty experts, however, are taking some comfort In the fact that legions of women who had their eyebrows eradicated with electric needles won't be able to get them back, Tear Gas New Weapon Against Prison Riots Washington.--Chemical warfare officers announced development of a tear gas weapon more suitable to quelling prison rin^ than the comparatively slow-acting grenade now In general use. Prison authorities, the War department said, had asked for a tear gas weapon which would quickly produce a more highly concentrated cloudy gas. Officers devised a tear gas candle, samples of which have been sent to (governors Island, New York, for experimentation. The candle is thrown, but ignites so rapidly after leaving the hand that quantities of fumes are being given off by the time the missile strikes. Auctioneer at Farm Sale Sells Buggy for Nickel Allentown, Pa.--"Thanks for the buggy ride" apparently is an obsolete phrase in Lehigh country. Recently at Lynnport an auctioneer presiding at a sale of farm goods couldn't draw any enthusiasm when be offered "a fine buggy, with rubber tires an' everything" for sale. Finally a spectator, in jest, offered a nickel. He got tbe buggy whether he wanted it or net Dog Hero of Utah Eats Poisoned Food and Dies Ogden, Utah. -- Utah's "meanest man" set out some poison that killed Bruno, Ogden's hero dog. The big Newfoundland was presented with a collar, a medal, and a wreath of rose> after he saved the life of Alice Tur ner, five, in 1925, and was widely known and loved. Children and adults alike mourn his death. _JL ; L. D. Lowell, Solicitor MASTER'S SALE OF REAI# ESTA1# ^ State of Illinois ~f/, ' McHenry County. :J In the Circuit Court of McHenry County May Tertn A. D. 1930. Roy A. Kent, Trustee et |JL M . ^ v VS. • \V' ~ Fred Duda, et aL, I In Chancery Gen. No.' Public Notice is hereby given that in pursuance of a decree made and entered by the Circuit Court of McHenry County, Illinois, in the above entitled cause, on the 21st 4ay of June, 1930, I, Fred B. Bennett, Master in Chancery of said court, will on Friday, July l&th, 1930, at the hour of ten o'clock in the forenoon of said day, at the front door of the courthouse in the city of Woodstock, McHenry County, Illinois, offer for sale and sell at public vendue to the highest bidder the following described real estate, to-wit: The Northerly thirty-three feet of sublot number two of lot number ten in block number twenty-four of the city of McHenry, on the west aide of Fox River, situated in the city of McHenry in the County of McHenry and State of Illinois. TERMS OF SALE Cash on day of sale, at which time a certificate of sale will be issued as provided by said decree. Dated this 23rd day of June, 1930. FRED B BENNETT, Master in Chancery of the Circuit Court of McHenry County, Illinois. - •. •' 4.4 FOB SALE FOR SALB--Evenrude racing boat, "Uoyd Martin*'; also Thor washing machine, , in good condition. Phone McHenry 643-J-2. Mrs. Klein. 4 FOR SALE}--Fresh country butter and also cottage cheefie. Can accommodate a few regular customers. Inquire at Plaindealer office. 4-tf. HAY FOR SALE--About eleven seres of alfalfa and timothy mixed. Peter Diedricb. *4 FOR SALE--A standaftf ^Iectric .light "plSnt, consisting "of 3-hf). gasoline engine, electric generator and 16 wet batteries, all in first class condition; also a Red Star oil kitchen range. Will sell either of tljem cheap. Address B. G., care Plaindealer office. 4 FARMERS--DEAD OR ALIVE AN! MALS--We buy and pick up crippled and broken down cows, horses, pigs, sheep and old plugs. To be used for Silver Fox food. From $2.00 to $10 per head. NOTICE We buy dead animals also. We pay more for dead animals if yon call us as quickly as the animal dies. Telephone Barrington 266. We pay all telephone calls. *4-8 TUNlE--and keep yotir piano tunrd. Tuning makes your piano a musical instrument. Phone 274-J or write J. H. Deihl, Woodstock, I1L Zl-tf Try our classified ads--they rat bring results. While players were enjoying an citing tennis game In a covered courtPr •t fiSsaen, Germany, recently, play wi suddenly stopped when firemen ap-j peared and asked where was the fi: A ball hit by one of the players ha unnoticed, struck and broken glass of a fire alarm tiox, which turned In the alarm. Valaaesr ' f The valance which was hung across* the fireplace on Sunday In Colonial': days was called a ruffled pawn. It was a short petticoat or valance, gath- * ered full on a string and hung across the mantel. In Dutch Colonial homes. When the week's cooking was finished, the fireplace was thus decorated for the Sabbath. No "Perpetual Motion" If such a thing as Yi perpetual machine were possible, running by itself without fuel or other form of external energy, it would be of immense value to mankind, producing energy from nothing. According to the law of the conservation of energy, however, the energy of the universe is constant and can be neither created nor destroyed. W« Do Not Know We do not know today whether we are busy or idle. In times when we thought ourselves indolent, we have afterwards discovered that much was accomplished and much was begun in us.--Ralph Waldo Emerson. FARM LOANS--First mortgage only. Quick Service. Reasonable charge. We also buy farm first mortgages. R. M. Fritz, 2nd Floor, Harvard State Bank Bldg., Harvard, HI. 44-tf FOR SALE--Outboard motor boat. Twin-speed Evinrude, almost new. Tel. McHenry. 279. *4-8 FOR SALE--Broilers. Phone Mc- Henry 830-M-2. One-half mile south from Community high school. Bernard Bauer. *4 FOR SALE--600 bu. Oats; Oliver tractor gang plow; two nearly new truck wagons; one bay team, 8 years old, wt. 1,600 each; one full-blood Percheron stallion, wt. about 2,000 lbs.; one new breeching harness. Atf.' dress W. B. Peterson, McHenry. Tel. McHenry 293. 52-tfl Pure Cane Sugar $5.10 l*r IOO lbs. A. & P. STORE MCHENRY tt>R SALE--Wen seeurtd 1% First Mortgages on McHenry Residence Property, lice. Inquire at Plaindealer of. 19-tf FOR RENT FOR RENT--La^ge house, chicken house and garage, 1% mile south of McHelnry. Phone 124-R. 4-3' FOR RENT--Furnished or unfurnish*. ed five-room modern flat with garage on Riverside Drive. Ideal location!; Phone 167, McHenry. 2-tf FOR RENT OR SALE--Eight-room' house in Johnsburg. Garage and garden. Nick M. Schaefer. *3-2 FOR RENT OR SALE--A modern 8- room house and garage on Richmond road, near St. Mary's church. Call John £. Knox, 17 or 31. 18 tf. • » * « WANTED WANTED TO BUY--Butter, eggs, veal, live and dressed chickens. Phone Columbus 8469, Chicago. *3-5 Tut I1ON6 JIUOBT OF IT 18- .JACTI ATTENTION! NO EXTRA COST #1 Mammoth i.V '?<'«• if?*? McHENRY, ILL* 6 Parachute Jump From Plane, Day at 3:00 p. mi Each •jMirf";' r;f «r »***-inov : sir A 4 ' Former German Ruler Wayside Inn Doorman Berlin.--The duke of Saxe- Altenberg, formerly the sovereign of a tiny German state, was "compensated" after tbf revolution. As he received the money in paper currency, his income amounted to only $300 a year. Until recently he had been living in a shooting lodge, which is worth about $1,500. A few days npo tbe bailiffs drove the former sovereign out of this last refuge because he owed X $5,000 to various creditors. He i has now obtained a Job as a 4 door-opener at a wayside Ger- X man inn. v e»e»ee»eee<s»»ee»e»»»ee»»» $500 Display of Fireworks, Aeroplane, Nieht of July 4th Hungry Five Clown Band Ferris Wheel - Chair Plane - Dom«'( Here T* , lud Tunklns says one of the things that make life hard is the fact that an old friend never feels as much under obligation to make himself agreeable as the man who Is selling you a gold brick.--Washington Star. Proof of Wisdom There is nothing so like a Wise man aa a fool who holds his tongue. --St Francis de Sales. Celebrate With the Crowds on the Fox River