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and seek to pull it loose? Did some one strike it with t&e ax or jab it with the crowbar V" "Don't be foolish, Mr. Bowser. I might as well tell you that the glass in the back kitchen door was broken several days ago." „ « "It was, eh!", gasped Mr. Bowser as he sat down on the edge of a chair and looked at her. "Some one, in order to cspite her husband and add to the load lie is staggering under, walked up to that door with a rolling pin and delib­ erately smashed out a $17 pane of glass!" "A man offered to replace it for 70 cents, and it was broken by a gust of wind slamming the door. The girl had just called to me to conie down and look at her tubs, when " "Mrs. Bowser,, are you going to tell me that anything is wrong with those tubs?" interrupted Mr. Bowser as he stood up again. "The waste pipe in one of them seems to be clogged." "Seems--to--be--clogged! That means that some person has gone down there and taken the poker and raaimed and jammed and pounded the dish-cloth into the mouth of the pipe! It means another visit from the plumber--an­ other bill for $ IS1--a tear-up of all the pipes and drains about the house!" "I think it is only a piece of soap which will soon dissolve,' explained Mrs. Bowser. , ". •-;t. • "Yes, you tliink, but what does your thinking amount to in the face of facts? .You couldn't think of any other way to bring me to the poofhouse, and so you jam a dish-cloth into a drain-pipe! When you were at it why didn't you blow up- the range with gunpowder, explode the gas meter, smash all the windows in the house, and give the fur­ niture to soma old tramp?" "Mr. Bowser, can I help it if the coal burns out, and the water pipes burst!" protested Mrs. Bowser. "When the grate burned out of the range the other day was I in any manner " "And so the grate has burned out of the range again!" he interrupted. "That is 195 times in the last yeffr--a little less than once in two days! Every time that grate has burned out it has cost me $7 to replace it! Is it any wonder that I go around so dead-broke that I can't buy a bone collar-button? Of all the reckless, extravagant, foolish wom­ en I ever heard of, you take the cake! Great Scott, but just think of it--over a thousand dollars in the past week for coal, glass and water-pipes in this house!" "I'm sure it is not my fault. I try to do the very " "Yes, you try to bankrupt me! You have been trying for the last twenty years, and you have finally succeeded.' We are bankrupt! We are paupers! To-morrow we shall not have a roof over our heads! If I can save even ten cents from the wreck you may have it and sgo home to your mother, while I will start life ovet again. Mrs. Bowser, I'm going upstairs to figure, and you can sit here and gurgle and giggle and chuckle over the way you have ruined a once happy home, and brought a kind and liberal husband to the grave of bankruptcy. Good-night, deluded wom­ an--good-night!"--Detroit Free Press. A,girl should Irani io make .a hod, To bake good .biscuit, cake mid bread;, To handle deftly brush and broom, And neatly tidy up a room. A girl should learn to dress with speed And hold tight lacing 'gainst her creed To buy her shoes to fit her feet; " In fact, above nil vaiu deceit. " A girl should learn to keep her word, V To spread no further gossip heard, Home or abroaji to be at ease,-.. And try her best to cheer and please. MATTERS OF INTEREST TO FARM ER AND HOUSEWIFE. Sorghum Needs More Attention than Cort--Valuable Information in I5ee Culture--Secret of Making Good But­ ter--Improving Rented Land--Notes. 7 * . .t The Sorghum Crop. Sorghum is usually planted In hills about three feet-apart each way, or if the ground is not too weedy, in drills three feet apart, leaving the stalks "at the last thinning..;„a-.UQ»L...fmir.. to six inches apart in the row. If the crop is to be Used for sugar or syrup, the stalks should be about six indies apart- in the drill, or about five stalks in the hill. Six or seven stalks eould be left iu the hill where the crop is to be used for forage.. About two quarts of seed of the ordinary varieties are required per acre, when planted in hills, and somewhat more than this amount when sown in drills. Early orange or early amber or some of the other early va­ rieties, says the Country Gentleman, would probably be most sure to give a profitable crop. On land specially adapted to corn or sorghum some of-the larger or later varieties might be grown, as they yield much heavier crops; but if any of the crop is to be cut so early as August, the later varieties will not do. The crop needs considera­ bly more attention at the start than corn, but perhaps less after it is a foot or more high. The growth is rather sloW for the first few inches, but very rapid at the close of the season. The outer glaze on the stalk is harder than on maize, and the stalks should pre­ ferably be fed whole rather than cut into short pieces, to avoid risk of cut­ ting the animals about the mouth. The cane, when mature, will stand for a long time without much deterioration in quality, even after a severe frost, pro­ vided warm weather does not follow the frost, or alternating periods of warm and cold occur. Sorghum can be made into ensilage, but will not make as good ensilage as mature corn, being usually quite sour. Some growers have reported keeping sorghum for many weeks cut and set in large bunches in the field. Aygirl should learn to sympathize; To be reliant, strong, and wise; To every patient, gentle be, And always truly womanly. A girl shoxdd learn to fondly hold' J True worth of value more than gold; Accomplished thus with tender mien, Reign, crowned with love, home's cher- , '. . ished queen. 7 o ' v ---New Orleans Picayune.. POOR LITTLE JANJET 'KICKED A IIASSOCK OUT OF THE WAY." Items in Bee Culture. Following are questions asked and answered at the National Illinois con­ vention of beekeepers and reported in the American Bee Journal: Is it best to put the colonies on the old stands when taking out of cellar? Most, thought it best if possible, though some did not do it. Is the eight or ten frame Langstroth hive the best? About half use the eight and the balance the ten frame hive. Is it advisable to super­ sede queens or let the bees do it? Most of the members thought it best to let the bees attend to it, and let the bee­ keeper watch them, and to supersede when the bees do not attend to it. Which is better,thin or extra thin foun­ dation for sections? Thin. How many use full sheets of foundation in sec­ tions? Only one.--Dr. Miller uses full sheets. How many wire brood frames? And Is it best? II. W. Lee thought it was not necessary, while others thought that it was. What is the best section holder? Dr. Miller thought the T super, with a follower and wedge, the best. Where a division board is used in the hive, will the bees work as well in the sections over an open space? Not so well. A Dream. O, it was but a dream I had • While the musician played-- And here the" sky and here the glad Old ocean kissed the glade, And here the laughing ripples ran And here the roses grew That threw a kiss to every man That voyaged with the crew. Our silken sails in lazy folds Drooped in the breathless breeze. As o'er a field of marigolds Our eyes swam o'er the seas, While here the eddies lisped and purle4 Around the island's rim, And up from out the underworld We saw the mermen swim. And it was dawSfl ai^^feldle day And midnight--for tne moon On silver rounds across the bay Had climbed the skies of June-- And here the glowing, glorious king Of day ruled o'er the realm, With stars of midnight glittering r About his diadem. Many Things to Prove We Descend from the Latter. To see the monkey in the man you have only to study the faces, bodies and habits of babies. Such is the theme of an article writ­ ten by S. S. Buckman. The actions of the children are, in­ deed, lie says, like "ancient monuments of pre-historic times. The human in­ fant is an interesting object of scien­ tific research, and even a cross baby should be calmly contemplated by the philosophic mind." Here are some of the numerous illus­ trations which Mr. Buckman gives to show how survivals of our simian an­ cestry may be found by any nursery philosopher: First--Monkeys are snub-nosed (sim­ ian). So are babies. Second -- Babies have poucli-like cheeks. To judge from ecclesiastical monuments, this characteristic is sup­ posed to be specially angelic. It is really monkey-like. Baby cheeks are the vestiges of cheek-pouches, possessed for storing away food, as in oercopi- tlieous, a monkey in which this habit of storing may be observed at the Lon­ don Zoological Gardens, if visitors feed A Short Rotation in Crops. The practice of applying dressing and seeding down with oats or mixed grain on broken ground is finding much favor with some of our-progressive farmers. It is a system that does away with much labor of cultivation, admits of lighter dressing, the land being plowed more frequently, and breaking the con­ tinuous hay production with one in­ stead of two intervening crops of some­ thing else. There will be a large quan­ tity of hay kept over on account of the low price it is bringing. The sea gull reeled on languid wing In circles round the mast; We heard the songs the sirens eing As we went sailing past. And up and down the golden sands A thousand fairy throngs Flung at us from their flashing hand* .The echoes of their songs. -James Whitcomb Riley. Care for the Cows. When, you are not running your cows for all there is in them, are you not making a great mistake? Can you honestly say that during the past win­ ter your cows have had the best of care that you were capable of giviug them? Can you say that you have made the best butter that it was possible for you to make? If not, why uot? Have you all the money that you want? Have you all the farming implements that you would like to have? Your cows would help you reach this desired end if you gave them the best care that you could. There is no secret in caring for cows or in making good butter, says the Na­ tional Stockman. Any one can do it if he will only try. It is hard to get out of the way of doing certain things in certain ways, but when there is money in getting, then, "let's git." It costs no more to make a pound of but­ ter that will sell for 30 cents than it does to make a pound of butter that we have trouble in disposing of for 10. It costs less to get a quart of milk from a cow when she gives ten quarts, than when "she gives five. Why, then, don't we make her give ten, and make thirty- five cent butter from the ten quarts, where we formerly made ten-cent but­ ter from five quarts? It is slow work at the bottom of the ladder, it is rough always under the harrow; but our cow8, if we gnly have two or three, will help us if w| only give them the proper care. Her Dotted Veil. Her dotted veil doth emphasize The tender splendor of her eyes; Its Criss-cx-oss meshes are a snare, The stoutest heart must needs beware, And safest he who swiftly flies Her dotted veil. Calculate the Cost of Your Butter. Do you know how much your butter costs per pound? A little calculation may point out better and more economi­ cal methods. A patch of plaster here and there Did ladies of the court devise, To make complexions still more fair; But now my lady multiplies This fancy, and forsooth must wear Her dotted veil. And once her veil she pins and ties The winds may madly veer and tear, She steps a maiden debonair, Without a thought, without a care, 'Twixt her and fair or cloudy skies Her dotted veil. Yet all's not said, for some declare A mine of untold wealth there lies In this extensive dotted snare; For most the oculist doth prize The thing that spoils my dear's sweet eye^ Her dotted veil. --New York Sun. Third--At the base of the vertebral columns babies have a deep circular depression. This is the mark of mon­ key's tail. Fourth--Babies, as Dr. Louis Robin­ son has shown, have superior arm power and very short legs. So have monkeys. Fifth--Babies, in catching hold of anything, don't use their thumbs, but clasp it between their fingers and palm. This is the action of monkeys in going from bough to bough. Sixth--A baby can move any of its toes independently, and it can move them one from another so as to make a V 'between any of them. As it grows older it loses this power and also the power of turning its ankle, but that it has such power over its muscles when young points to ancestors who used their feet more than their hands as organs for picking up small objects, and who relied on their arms and hands for supporting their bodies. Seventh--Babies go to sleep on their stomachs with their limbs curled up under them--a survival from our four- footed ancestors. Eighth--Babies are rocked to sleep-- an imitation of the swaying tq and fro of the branches where our monkey ancestors lived. Even our nursery ditty, "Rockaby Baby, on the Tree Top," points back to the arboreal age. ° Ninth--The stair-climbing instinct of babies, like the tree-climbing propen­ sity of boys, points back to an, arboreal age. Tenth--The fruit-stealing instinct is a survival from monkeydom. Eleventh--Children are fon^/Ofpicking at anything loose-- because monkeys pick off the bark from trees in order to search for insects. Twelfth--Children are very fond of rolling. This points to the time when our ancestors had hairy bodies tenant­ ed by parasites and allayed the irrita­ tion by rolling. Love in a Hospital. That brown-eyed nurse with wavy hair, And voice just like the voifce of June, Is false to me--she's false, I swear! And fickle as the changeful moon. She lays her velvet hand on me And smiles and talks so softly sweet. And makes me thrill, and seems to be So pained that I'm not on my feet. And then when I'm on fire for her, And strive love's impulse to resist, She thrusts a glass thermometer Into my mouth and feels my wrist. Then scores she down upon the chart A rising fever; though I'm sure 'Tis wrong that she who steals .my heart Should likewise take my temperature! --Judge. An Old-Fashioned Girl. There's an old-fashioned girl in an old- fashioned s'tretlr, -- Dressed in old-fashioned clothes from hep head to her feet; And. she Spends all her time in an old- fashioned way, » if? ' A-caring for poor people's children all day. She never has been to cotillon or ball, And she knows not the style of the spring or the fall; - 1 f Two hundred a year will suffice for he* needs, And an old-fashioned Bible is all that she reads. \ , . • - me to have the plumber on the corner come over and solder it. The bill is only 00 cents." 1 "Ninety cents for soldering up a leak no larger than a pin!" whooped Mr. Bowser. "I'll see that plumber plump to the other side of Texas before I pay it! Did you protest? Did you tell him it was a swindle? Did you declare his bill highway robbery?" "No." "Of course not That shows your in- tei'est in your husband's poeketbook! If he had handed in a "bill for $5; you wouldn't have said a word! And now, Mrs. Bowser, how did that pipe come to leak?" * -• "Something caused it to give way, I suppose." j "Exactly--something caused it to give way, but what^DWsome one go down cellar and swHBtthat water pipe In Venice. At Venice, when any one dies, it is the custom to fix a placard on the front of the dead person's house, as well as in the neighboring streets, as a sort ofe, public notice, stating his name, age, place of birth, and the illness of which he died, affirming also that-lie received -the holy sacraments, died a good Chris­ tian, and requesting the prayecs of the faithful. -. Great Thirst. The engine of an express trainTcou- sumes twelve gallons of water for each ; mile traveled. - ; And sfhe has an old-fashioned heart, that is true To a fellow who died in an old coat of blue, With its buttons all brass--who is waiting above . -- For the woman who lored him with old fashioned love. ) * " --Philadelphia Times. Improving Rented Lands. A really good farmer will not leave the farm poorer than he found it, even if he only rents instead of owns the land. But in this country every im­ provement made on rented land goes to the owner of the property, and this fact operates to prevent those from renting who know that their methods of A Thick Skull. An abnon large S braid stein's pec; the pOStrllK :k skull and a very, und to be Rubin- j. as developed in imination. -w->- Oil in West Virginia. Two thousand oil wells are in oper&> tioh in West Virginia.