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N A M I N G T H E B A B Y . S>«ar in?'! liow the}; come to see us-- Come to see us--and, thou, hiaybe, Come because the.v hoard, that me and Wife'was goin' to name the baby. AB' of courSfi. they all luid with 'em Names for baby they thought suitin'; "Karnes some grand.v like and eurjsJ, Others, sort Q* hifalutin'. / J* .Dear old auntie said to name it- Name the baby. sweet-^Stisannah; Then for short we'd call her later Susy dear, or little Anna. One smart miss who'd read the novels, Where she'd learned, I spose, the fad is, (As she called it), for outlandish ^ Names, said call the darling ;Gladys, And a blushing, gushing damsel Squeezed the baby, O, and could she Name the pinky dimpled darling, 'Twould be sweetsy tootsy wootsy. Then a maiden of trnce'rtaic Age and Of severe demeanor, , Said were baby hers she'd name it Anne Hortensia Seraphina. So they all went on: 'Twas Saidy, Daisy, Alice, Nell, Matilda, IPhebe, Rachel, Nora, Mabel, Fanny, Lucy, Ruth, Griseida, Patience, Freda, Fhilomcna, Ursula, Felicia, Land o' , ;' 'Goodness! Agatha, Priscilla. •Jess, Keturah, Beth,, Amanda, Achsa, Abigail. Keiiah, " Winifred, Lucinda. Man die, Miliieent, Elvira. Mildred, , Jane Me-liot-a-beJ--rO Lordy! . ••• X hain't sayin' them names ain't right ; An' fittin', too. sometimes. But still, •The folks rauii' here will call that kid, When it gets growed, most wise jes' Bill. --Free Press. ***** ANIGHT in the tropics bas a charm and beauty all its own. The soft, languorous breath of Hie trade wind" gives a darker shade to the face, a deeper black to the eyes, and. thins the quick-flowing blood, while it soothes tbe senses to dreamy restfulness. Tbe patio or inner garden of the great hacienda was as large as a city l>10ck and filled with flowers, shrubs, trees and fountains. Around two sides was a gallery with benches, rugs and hammocks. Across the wide entry the dining- room was lighted by many candles, while steaming dishes, borne by In­ dian ^servants, carried brave recom­ pense to weary riders in from journey, •chase or roundup. I was the only one of my party who ^spoke Spanish readily, and was some 3'ears younger then than now. Thus it chanced that, while others iprolonged the feast, drank toasts and uiade merry I sat with the daughter <of the house in the moonlight. Her face was dark, black were her eyes and hair; the latter had a touch of wariness which suggested a darker •than Castilian or Indian blood some­ where in the dim past. •Our talk flowed on in liquid Span­ ish. My wearied limbs and eyes were resting from saddle, sun and dust; fragments of song and speech came to us from open doors. The night before I had slept under ^blankets with saddle for pillow, on the mountain summit, twenty leagues •away to the north. Ten leagues beyond that were the ^end of the rails and the last telegraph 'Station. We were beyond tbe pulse- beat of our modern world--fairly into .the old traditionary Mexico. ~"Yes," she said, "thi§ hacienda Is very old; older, they say, than the great cities of yssr country; Jf you wish it, certainly, but I cannot tell its history as well as mamma. Site has a beautiful poem about it, too, written by the Padre Hidalgo." But I prefer to hear it from her Own words. ""Well, as you know, Don Hernando ""Cortex was the conquistador--the man who won all this country. After he '.(had done this, the King of Spain, so the story goes, wished to reward one of his •captains. Some say it was Bernal Diaz, ibut others give a different name. At :any rate, the honor was accepted, not ;for himself, but for a relative, for a ;young man just out from the Peninsula --that is Spain, you know. And be was -given a great domain, from that raoun- . tain peak to another niany leagues away, and from that to a river, "and then to a lake, and thence back to the mountain. And he was called the Mar t^uis of Aguaya, •"Five hundred square leagues is the •tale--larger than many States in that great country of yours. And all this the King gave to one man--people, lands and mines--to do with as he Willed. "Of course, mamma could tell it bet­ ter, but they say be was very hand­ some, and very wicked and jealous of his wife; that he used to ride far away to meet and gamble and carouse with other men as bad as he. "So, one"evening he sat at cards with these boou companions, and .luck went heavily agafflst one of them. In van evil moment this One said some­ thing--no one .knows just what--about the Marquis' wife--that while lie neg­ lected her she was well attended by the major-domo. "The beetle-browed, Moorish-faced •;> 'Marquis glared at him; but, to their .great surprise, said 110 word in reply. 'Perhaps he bad heard it before; at any rate his dark heart was fired with jeal­ ousy arid murder. 1 -"A litle later he pleaded a headache and sought his rooms. Once there he changed his dress, stole softly out, mounted his famous black stallion--the only one in all Mexico--arid rode forth \to take the evening air. -• ^ ' "After a few moments he turned his horse's head 'and directed Ills oohrs© toward his--this--hacienda. Then he, went like the wind. "Fiye leagues away he came to tbe first remuda. You must know; that in those days, when the master went abroad, a retinue followed with horses, and these Avere held at a distance of four or five leagues all along the line, so he should have ever at hand fresh horses as he needed them. With each horse at each remuda, or station, was an Indian servant "At the first he changed and, it Is supposed, bade the servant^care well for the black charger and await his return. On into tbe night he rode, tak­ ing a fresh mount at every remuda. "You. see that mountain? came from far beyond that No one can tell just whence he came. The rahebo is gone now; they say that ,when be broke into the hacienda in the iniddle of the night he had ridden more than thirty leagues. ' '• "When lie came in at the great gate his heart was as black as his face, and his eyes glowed like coals of fire. "What he found no one knows. The story is that he stabbed the guard at the gate, rushed into his wife's room and killed her--some say the major- domo also--and one child. The other, a little girl, fled iu terror to the servants' quarters. Then he turned, mounted bis horse and went back over the same road. "Before the early dawn had come he led his black stallion into the ranch stables, took a- bath,..dressed in clean, garments and smilingly greeted his companions «*it the breakfast table. His headache? A thousand thanks; that had passed off; he bad taken a little gallop for exercise. Would they like to have their revenge for last night's ill luck?" "And was nothing done?" I asked. "Ob, no. There was no proof. The little girl and her nurse could not iden- .. tify. him.:iiis_blackJmrseJKas-clean-aad fresh, and so was he. "When, later, the news got abroad, he was very sorry, threatened venge­ ance, but soon after went off to the capital. He died within a year--sick­ ness, some say; others have it that be was shot or stabbed. "One very curious circumstance was noted. Every Indian servant through­ out the long line of stations was found dead at his post, and each died from a knife stab in the back. "But," with a shrug of her pretty shoulders, "he was the great lord, and' nothing was ever done about it--ex­ cept just to tell the story as I have to you." ^PIRATES IN THE, COLONIES- The Different Colonial Government# . Too Weak to Protect Themselves. We, in these times, of America, pro­ tected by the laws and by the number of people about us. can hardly conipreg bend such a life as that of tbe American colonies in the early part of the last century, when it was possible for a pirate like Blackboard to exist, and for the governor and. the secretary of'the province in which he lived to share his plunder, and shelter and to protect him against the law. At that time tbe American colonists were in general a rough, rugged peonle, knowing nothing of the finer things W life. They lived mostly in little setter ments, separated by lopg distanagy from one another, so that they could neither make nor enforce laws to pro­ tect themselves. Each man or little group of men had to depend upon his or their own "strength to "keep what lie- longed to them, and to prevent fierce men or groups of men from taking what was theirs away from them. It is the natural disposition of every one to get all that he can. Little chil­ dren usually try to take away from others that which they want, and to keep it for their own. It is only by constant teaching that they learn that they must hot do so; that they must not take by force what does not belong to them. It. is only by teaching and training that people learn to be honest, and not to take what is not theirs. When this teaching is not sufficient to make a man learn to be honest, or when there is something in the man himself that makes him not able to learn, then lie lacks only the opportun­ ity to seize upon the things he wants, just as he would do if he were a little child. Iu the colonies at the time, as has just been said, men were too few and scattered to protect themselves against^ those who bad made up their minds to take by force Whatever they wanted. The usual means of communication,be­ tween province and province was by water, in coasting vessels. These small coasting vessels were so defenseless, and the different colonial governments were so ill able to protect them, that those who chose to rob them could do it almost without danger to themselves. So it was that all the Western world was in those days infested with armed bands of cruising freebooters or pirates --men who had not been taught, or who had not been able to learn, that they must not Jake from others what be­ longed to those others". These pirates used to stop merchant vessels, and take seven who had. apparently died; and S made a hearty meal of cold ham and porter. _ » Just before the train' left Dieppe, 'a gaunt American fellow-passenger came to me and said: "I suppose, sir; ydu are an Englishman, ain't ^yotfcj"- ' To which I replied, with charmixi^Munb/r, that ,1 was a Japanese. "All rign^fare continued. "It don't make a cent's worth of difference what you are. All I want to say is that if ever you come to the States, and make a voyage on one of our lake boats, and eat ham in-the face of the suffering public, you'll be miss­ ing when' that boat comes to land. I'd have drawn on you myself this after­ noon If I hadn't been too sick to reach my gun; You hear me?" Since that day I have never eaten ham in the presence of seasick people. I would even be willing to read during a channel passage if there were any books fit for the purpose. I am Walt- lhg to see some new hovel, say, of the advanced woman school, advertised as "the very book for tbe channel pass­ age."--The Idler. THEY PITIED POSTERITY. "And the little girl that fled with the 1 IT" .V"1 , ' +T , e | from them what they chose. nurse i "She? Why, she married, afterward, a son of one of tbe viceroys. You saw her picture in the large parlor--and--: I, like her, am called Anita, and she was my grandmother's great-great- grandmother. I am the ninth of the same name. It, was in that room he found her. This is the ring she wore that night." After a moment she added: "They say that only a small round spot above the heart--with not even a drop of blood- showed where the wicked stiletto had sapped her life. What we well know is this--each daughter of the race has carried as her birthmark the same tiny scar." kIn the silence that followed I lived for a space in the long ago, the fierce, primitive life in this far-off corner of the world. Then, as the hacienda bell struck for midnight, from the banquet-room came, in Spanish, the voice of the master of the house calling all to drink to bis toast--the last for the night: "Long live the North Americans! Welcome to the telegraph and the railway!"-- Free Press. Business Methods in Tennessee. One bright forenoon last fall near a deserted mill in the outskirts of Chat­ tanooga the following bit of Tennessee bargaining was overheard: An aged ne­ gro, driving an old, slowly moving mule hitched to a two-wheeled dump- cart, came along. He was bound for a wood yard on the banks of the Ten­ nessee River near by, wheretbatmuddy stream sweeps around the foot of Cam­ eron Hill and begins curving a grace­ ful bow to bold Lookout Mountain, which looms up before it. Ju&t as the outfit had crossed a rickety culvert tbe negro was accosted with the customary "Howde?" by a lazy-looking native wearing a jeans suit and a broad-brim- Each province in tho^e days was ruled over by a royal governor appointed by the king. Kacli provincial governor was at one time free to do almost as ho pleased in his own province. They were accountable only to the king and tho home government; and England was so distant that they Were really responsible almost to nobody but them­ selves. The governors were just as desirous of getting rich quickly, just as desirous of getting all that they could for them­ selves, as was anybody else, only they had been taught that it was not right to be actual pirates or robbers. They wanted to get rich easily and quickly, but they did not desire riches so much as to lead them to dishonor themselves in their own opinion, and in the opinion of others, by gratifying the desire. They would even have stopped the pirates from doing unlawful acts if possible; but their provincial governments were too weak to prevent the freebooters from robbing merchant vessels, or to punish them when they came ashore. The provinces had no navies, and they really had no armies; neither were there enough people living within the communities to enforce the laws against thos^ stronger and fi reer men who were not honest.--St. Nicholas. "Howde?" grunted the negro, as he stopped his mule with a fierce jerk, which sent the front of the cart against the beast's haunches and the shafts j higher thar. its ears. When the cart had come to a stand- | still the young man took a portly chew of tobacco, slowly adjusted his right i foot on the hub of the cartwheel, and | with slow, measured accents, asked the j other: "IIow much be you selling wood ! for?" "Four bits a load, boss." After mature deliberation and mastl- I cation the prospective purchaser drawl- ; ed out: "Four bits a load?" "Hits little 'miff, boss," -replied the ; colored man. "Hit leaves me only two shillin' fer totin' gin I pay two. shillin' fer the wood at the yard--little 'nuff fer totin'." . ' "Yes, I reckon." Then the languid young map picked up a stick and began whittling, and the teamster sat mute in his cart for five minutes, breaking the silence final­ ly with: "D'ye reckon you'll want a jag o* wood ?" "That's wat I 'lowed I would, but I dunno," replied the other. There was another silence of ten min­ utes, broken only by the slash of the jackknife through the yellow pine stick. A horseman rode by "totin' " a' bag of Old Manchester. About 1690 there were 300 burial^ in tbe parish of Manchester in eight^ears. A century later the population of the town, township and parish of Man­ chester and Salford had increased to DO,000. The wealth of the district grew with strides which were equally rapid. At the close of the seventeenth century the houses of wood and plaster gave place to more commodious buildings of brick. The manufacturers attended at their yarehouses before G o'clock in the morning, a breakfast of milk and por- | ridge was provided in huge bowls for j all. and master^ and apprentices alike I dipped therein on terms of equality, | with coarse wooden spoons. A dancing j assembly opened about 1710; ten years | later there were bnt three or four car- | riages in the town; sedan chairs were j introduced half way through the cen­ tury, and jtt™was not until 1758 that any one in business presumed to set up his carriage. At the accession of George III. the dinner hour was still fixed at midday; afternoon visits were paid by the fash­ ionable dames at 2 o'clock, and they met in the old collegiate church at prayers when the hour of 4 was strik­ ing. In the evening the gentlemen as­ sembled at a club, where the entertain­ ment was at first limited to fourpenee for ale" and a single halfpenny for to­ bacco, reaching at last to the unprece­ dented extravagance of a "sixpenny- worth of punch." This was at the house of John Shaw, who had been a trooper in Queen Anne's forces, and had brought from the Low Countries the art of brewing punch. The hours of gathering began at G, and at 8 the guests were summarily ordered from the room by the burly landlord, and if his behests did not effect their pur­ pose the floors were flooded .with water by his surly 0 maW'serVa&t.'--'Temple Bar. Thougii They Could Not Suggest Any Alleviation for Its Sad Lot. "I've just been wondering," said the dreamy, blue-eyed girl, "what the next few generations are going to do for romantic heirlooms." • "My goodness," cried the energetic black-eyed maiden, "I've no time, to think of such things; mamma is learn­ ing to ride a wheel, and I'm busy try­ ing to keep a few of her bones intact." • "Oh, girls!" cried the thoughtful haz­ el-eyed damsel, "do you suppose that a hundred years from now people will be tying bicycles with blue ribbons and putting them up in the parlor as they do spinning wheels now ? Fancy say­ ing, 'Yes, that was niy great-grand­ mother's wheel,' and trying not to look proud because of the fact!" ---suppose tbey-^viilT"-returned-the; blue-eyed girl, "and perhaps the poets will all' be writing under such titles as 'When Grandma Rode a Wheel.' Yes, and girls will be wearing ancestral bloomers and sweaters to fancy balls and " "I don't doubt it," broke in the hazel- eyed damsel, "and people will be going to visit at remote farmhouses and talk­ ing of the deHghtful old-fashioned fold­ ing beds in which they slept." "Well, it doesn't sound romantic,"' said the blue-eyed girl, "but I suppose it will all come true. I wonder if I had better give up wearing common-sense shoes, after all? They wouldn't look quite as nice as my grandmother's satin slippers do now." "H'm; perhaps not. Do you suppose, girls, that folks wfll be putting on airs of aristocracy then because their grand­ mothers were in the Gusher College' football teams in the year 20Qp? There may even be a society of Daughters of Early Athletic Dames; who knows?" "Tes; and then the clothes, what a puzzle thej^jvjJLLhi>! Imagine taking a blazer mrtiofan old trunk and saying: 'This my greapgrandmotlier's, or, no, j\l must have /been grandfather's, after all.' Oh, I tell you, posterity is going to have, its own troubles in the good times coming." "Oh, dear, yes," sighed the blue-eyed girl, "and there will be none of those delightful old love letters smelling of musk and things. Fancy treasuring a type-written document aDd writing a romance about it." The hazel-eyed damsel groaned: "Yes; only think of it. And don't forget the china. Do you suppose peo­ ple will be hoarding up the cups bought on State street at a bargain sale for 12% cents apiece?" "J hope not, I am sure," said the blue- eyed girl, "but there is no telling. Girls, do you suppose the curling iron of commerce will be extinct by that time?" "Not unless a curly-haired race of women has arisen, my dear," calmly replied the black-eyed maiden, "but I don't doubt that some of the instru­ ments of torture such as we use now­ adays will be preserved as 'delightfully quaint,' and, tied with bine ribbons, used as ornaments to dressing tables, instead of being ignominiously con­ cealed under them." "Perhaps so," sighed tho liazel-eyed damsel. "Speaking of instruments of torture, what do you suppose they will make of the sleeve extenders we are wearing now?" , "Oh, dear, I can't guess," said the blue-eyed girl, "but, perhaps, they will display the yards and yards of hair­ cloth they, find in old-trunks as-proofs that we mortified our bodies after the fashion of the middle ages." "They may bef right in that. Look here, do you suppose that the tin-type of to-day will be treasured as one of the miniatures of a century ago? Because, if you do, I am going right upstairs to destroy all of mine now." "I hardly think so, dear" said the black-eyed maiden, in a soothing tone; #"still, one might as well be prepared for the worst. I don't myself think that amateur photogi-aphy is calculated to make posterity think any better of our personal cliarfns." "Oh, dear." said the liazel-eyed dam- 'sel, "I'm glad you spoke of pictures. Grandma gives the portrait painter her first sitting to-day, and, in the Interest of posterity, I am going right home to try to persuade her not to do it in the bonnet she wore to the opera." i Ham and Seasickness. Why is it that we never hear of books designed to be read on the chau- meal in 'front of the saddle. After the ! nei between Dover and Calais? There usual speculation as to whom the stran- I is evidently a great dearth of that kind ger "mout be," the whittling and the i literature, for I have seldom seen any blank staring processes continued for several more minutes. Finally, when the stick had been all whittled away, the prospective purcaser said: "Wall, 1 don't 'spect T'll take any wood to-day.' His foot fell lazily from the hub, the wood-hauler clucked to his mule, and the two men slowly went their respec­ tive ways. Sterne's Plagiarisms. The following instance of Sterne's unblushing "conveying" has not, I think, been hitherto recorded- In "Tristram Shandy," Volume I., Chapter 12, is the following well-known pas­ sage: "When to gratify a private appetite it is once resolved upon that an inno­ cent and a helpless creature shall be sacrificed, 'tis an easy matter to pick up sticks enough from any thicket where it has strayed to make a fire to offer it up with." In; the introduction to "Baconiana," London, 1G79, T. T. (1. e., Dr. iThomas Tenison), in comment on Bacon's words to King James. "I wish that as I am the first, so I may be the last of sacri­ fices in your times," writes as follows, (page 1G): "And when from private Appetite, it one engaged in reading while crossing the channel. I never read during that delightful trip; not because I am sea­ sick, but because I want every one to notice that I am perfectly well; and j is resolv'd that a Creature shaTibe sac' that ehd can best be achieved by waik- An Apple for- a Starving Stomach. For staving off the hungry craving when a meal is unavoidably delayed it is difficult to find atiythinj an apple. : -4.1.-j _ JClt-VA. L14UU uig the deck and singing softly to my- i self. " As has often been observed, nothing makes a man so unbearably as ex­ emption from seasickiiess. Some three years ago I was crossing from New- haven to Dieppe, and, being very hun­ gry, I went down into the cabin, where there were, by actual count, thirty-one men who were deadly seasick, besides rificed; it is easie to pick up sticks enough, from any Thicket whither it hath straied, to make a Fire to offer it with." There could not be am ore audacious example of literary theft.--Notes and Queries. • Every time some men take a chew of tobacco, their wives have something to say about sin. HOW PAPER IS MADE IN COREA. Natives Make Paper that Is Pat to Many Different Uses. The manufacture of jpaper is exten- Klvely carried on in C'orea, as there is a great demand tor jt, its "tdughness and durability rendering ft useful in many ways. The» windows of Corean houses con­ sist of W'obden-latticed frames covVred with taper sufficiently transpateht\to admit the light. Oil paper, about One- quarter of an inch in thickness, is past­ ed on the floors instead of carpets en' mats, while lanterns of all shapes and sizes are made out of paper, as are also fans and tobacco pouches. Oil paper is used for making the conical rain hats which are fastened to the ordinary black hat in wet weather, and large oil coats or mackintoshes are made of the same material. A very thick kind of paper is used for making boxes and trunks, which are strong enough to hold heavy articles, such as clothes, etc. The manufacture of a coarse sort of paper is carried on outside the north, gate of Seoul, in a valley through which runs a stream. Oil rags and paper of all kinds are brought out from the city and first placed in a large tub at the side of the stream, where they are thor­ oughly washed and all the dirt and ink beaten out of them. The clean materials are then carried to a long wooden trough, where they are stamped into a pulp by men who dance on the mass with their bare feet much in the same way as the juice is pressed out of the grape in France and Spain. The water is then allowed to run off. and the white pulp is thrown into a large woden tank full of water, slightly warmed in winter to prevent it freez­ ing. . . After the pulp has soaked for an hour or so the workmen take a bamboo mat, about four feet long by three feet broad, Which tliey place on a wooden frame and dip into the tank, one manipulator standing on each side. The frame is almost immediately taken out covered with a thin layer of white pulp, which is thrown neatly on to a cloth at the side. The bamboo mat is then peeled off so as to leave a smooth sheet of pulp be­ hind. Again the frame is dipped in, and another sheet is thrown on top of the first one, and so on till there is a pile several feet in height. The sheets of pulp are then laid out in bundles to dry in the sun. hen sufficiently hard the sheets are cut up into small strips and placed into another wooden tub preparatory to be­ ing worked over again. The second process is exactly the same as the first, except that the roots and the seeds of a certain plant called the "takpool," or starchwood, are ,put into the water to make it glutinous, and thus tender the paper tough and durable. When the sheets are almost dry they are taken singly and spread out on a flat slab of granite, where men with large wooden mallets beat the paper to the requisite thinness. For the thicker kinds several pieces are beaten to­ gether. The finer kinds of paper are not man­ ufactured at Seoul, but at different places in the southern provinces. They are made by simply soaking the "tak­ pool" plant in water and extracting the starch. The layers of fine pulp are then worked as before described. Making "Wall Paper. It is very interesting to go through a wall-paper factory and follow the pro­ cesses of manufacture. The designs are the first things observed. Formerly there was a scarcity of these, but now there is a flood, and a manufacturer must exercise much artistic taste and business ability in making selections. One was submitted to a New England manufacturer recently by' a woman; who stated that it was dictated by spir­ its. The least that can be said of it is that it was not desirable. Various designers have different spe­ cialties--some flowers, others architec­ tural ideas, etc--and of recent years architects have devoted many of their spare moments to originating wall-paper designs. A complete design consists of three pieces--side wall, border and ceiling. The general width of patterns of the side wall and ceiling as used in the trade and manufactured by American machinery is 18 inches, and the length of the repeat in the pattern is either 1104 or 14% or 17% inches, as suggested by the character of the design, the shorter repeats being the most satisfac­ tory to the trade in general. Many of the best effects are produced in papers containing only four to six colors, but as many as twenty or twen­ ty-five are sometimes used. Each color and shade in a design means a separate roller to the manufacturer.--Boston Herald. Making Paria Green More Kffective. Paris green Is soluble in ammonia and carbonate of ammonia; but ex­ perience teaches that whenever arsenic in solution is applied to foliage, it in­ jures the leaves, says the Agriculturist; otherwise compounds of arseniG with potash, soda, ammonia, etc., might be used Instead of paris green. The-fact that paris green yields its arsenic slow­ ly is protection aghinst the destructive action of the arsenious acid. It is not unlikely that if some gum-like material were added to the paris green mixture, to fasten it to the foliage, failures from Its use might be prevented. It might be worth while to try adding a small amount of dextrine (British gum) for holding the green to the foliage. Worth Hemcmbering. A thin coat of pure glyceriue applied to both sides of glass will prevent any moisture forming thereon, and will stay until it collects so much dust that it cannot be seen through. Surveyors can use it to advantage on their in­ struments in foggy weather. In fact; it can be used anywhere to prevent moisture from forming on aqything, and locomotive engineers will find it particularly useful in preventing the accumulation of steam as well as frost on their windows during the cold weather. Coal. Coal is dearer in South Africa than in any other part of the world; it'is cheap­ est iu. China. Flag of the Danes. The oldest national flag in the world Is that of Denmark, which has been in use since the year 1219. In summer time every fat man re­ grets that be cannot wear a shirt waist CHURCH DROWSINESS* , " •) " -I .•'•.>./• v7. Tito Cause of Sleep- During Sermons -- Kxplnined in a New Way. ? I ha Ye a scientific'explanation of the somnolence which overtakes people in church. 'I used to think that it wag the dullness of the sermon which pro­ voked the sWep of the congregation. One remembers the actor who gave a private reading of his play to his friends, and when he was done asked their opinion. At last, when one be­ gan to speak, the playwright Inter­ rupted: "You can have no opinion; you were asleep." "Ah," replied the critic, "do you not know that sleep is an opinion..' And sleep is certainly an opinion, and not an especially flatter­ ing one. But it may not mean that the ser­ mon Is really dull. I have seen people sleep in church under all circum­ stances, and In the hearing of-the^nost admirable preachers, , preaching the most eloquent sermons. I saw a man sleep when Mr. Spurgeon preached. Mr. Moody has more than once called out to Jiave a window opened to wake a somnolent member of his audience.. Canon Ivnox-Little is accounted a preacher of more than usual earnest­ ness and power, yet I remember once in W orcester seeing a minister, clad ia surplice and stole, and seated in the chancel, go straight to sleep while the' canon preached,, disregarding the eyes of the congregation. And once when' Mr. Gore delivered a sermon in that great .abbey where he is now canon, people who -sat in my neighborhood went to sleep in shoals. • r -• No; my theory is that most times when the congregation sleep during the sermou they are simply hypnotized. For, consider the situation. Most of the conditions which the hypnotist de­ sires are present. There is a dim and subdued light in the room; the atmos- phere Is somewhat oJnsA^the-tetnpera- ture is high; somewhere behind the speaker, In a position 'which compels the eyes of the congregation, is a jet of gas or a sharp gleam .of electricity, In­ to which they look as the sermon pro­ ceeds; and the preacher goes on and on, in a gentle and monotonous voice, and down and up like a mother's lullaby; and behold our eyelids are pressed down against our will by soft invisi­ ble fingers, and everything Is delicious- ly vague and far away, and suddenly people stand up with an awakening sound about us, and the preacher is pronouncing the ascription at the end of his sermon, during whose wise and eloquent paragraphs we haVe humiliat- ingly slept. This is hypnotic sleep. And it is the fault, not only of the preacher, but of the whole construction of our ill-ventilated and absurdly light­ ed churches.--Pittsburg Dispatch. In Command of the Armada. In the Armada the crusading enthusi­ asm had reached its point and focus. England was the stake to which the Virgin, the daughter of Sion, was bound in captivity. Perseus had come at last in the person of the Duke of Medina Sidonia, and with him all that w^as best and brightest in the countrymen of Cervantes, to break her bonds and re­ place her on her throne. They had sailed into the Channel in pious hope, with the blessed banner waving over their heads. To be the executor of the decrees of Providence is a lofty ambition, but men in a state of high emotion over­ look the precautions which are not to be dispensed with, even on the sub- limest of errands. Don Quixote, when he set out to redress the wrongs of hu­ manity, forgot that a change of linen might be necessary, and that he must take money with him to pay his hotel bills. Philip II., in sending the Armada to England, and confident in supernat­ ural protection, imagined an unresisted triumphal procession. He forgot that contractors might be rascals, that water four months in the casks in a hot climate turned putrid, apd that putrid water would poison his ships' companies, though his crews were companies of angels. He forgot that the servants of the evil one might fight for their mistress after all, and that he must send adequate supplies of powder; and, worst forgetfulness of all, that a great naval expedition required a lertder wiio understood his business. Perseus, in the shape of tbe Duke of .Medina Sidonia, after a week of disas­ trous battles, found himself at the end of it in an exposed roadstead, where he ought never to have been, nine- tenths of his provisons thrown over­ board as unfit for food, his ammunition exhausted by the unforeseen demands upon it, the seamen and soldiers har­ assed and dispirited,, officers the whole week without sleep, and thq enemy, who had hunted him from Plymouth to Calais, anchored within half a league of him.--Froude, in Longman's Magazine. WThere He Wrote His Will. Strange things happen in Florida. A recent instance is reported 'iy the Times-Union of Jacksonville. One of the queer documents in the office of the county judge is a will writ­ ten on a piece of unpainted plank, five feet long, and pne foot wide. The plank was sawed out of the house of Mrs. Ar­ nold, who lived just outside the city. The plank was part of the wall. On a bed beside it lay a sick man, John Mi O'Brien, whom Mrs. Arnold had be­ friended. Before he died he wrote on the plank in pencil tlieser words: "Mrs. Arnold, God bless her, shall have all I leave." He left $500. The will is an unhandy document to file, but it serves its ma­ ker's purpose. • Overbeari nR Plums. Of all fruit the plum Is most likely to overbear. It would do so every year if the curculio did not thin it. As it is, it bears so heavily that it makes a great drain on the vitality of the tree,, and also on its capacity ta furnish the min­ eral elements required to make the seeds. All stone fruits have very large seeds in proportion to their pulp. It is probably lack of potash and phosphates that makes plums rot badly in the sea­ sons when the trees have set a crop that they are unable to mature. Poor Fellow. The music made by a Salvation army band in a Loudon ^treet was not ap­ preciated by a gentleman who lived in a house near by. He sent a request for the band to stop. It was unheeded and the gentleman cut his throat. Marie Is Foolish. According to Marie Tempest, the fin­ est opera house in the world is at,Du- luth. J' \ „ Old Way Was the Beat. Since we got rich and stylish, and took to traveling'round, . . My wife she calls"me "Mister"--can't say; I like the sound-- hiy girls no longer call me "pa," 'tis • "dear papa" these days; They re all of them all taken up with highfalutin' .ways. I put. up with a lot of things, but I'm blessed if I can stand To see ray wife beginning now to write this new-styled hand. It s well enough for Helen and for Clara, I suppose; ' • - .' •' They learned the horse-track fashion » while^still they wore short clothes But their ma was brought up differe and it's tough, I do declare, To see her learning the girls' ways no she has got gray haiiiV'^^; ' Ma always took to writing, aDd her hand- write's been my joy, Since ever we was boy and girl way out in • Illinois, ; /• * When we was children long ago out in that prairie school. (Run in the good old-fashioned way with rod and dunce's stool) She used to write her name and mine, and link 'ein like our fate, Before she learned the capitals/upon her little slate. And after we grew up and I went off to war, how sweet The letters that I used to get in her hand- write, small and neat.. She used to call me "noblg," and a "hero of the land," And say she'd always love me, in a fine Spencerian hand! And once she wrote some poetry, real poetry, with rhymes, I've got it yet, you just can bet--about the old war times; It's in hfer prettiest running hand--not all sprawled out and straight. Like that confounded "angular" she's taken to of late. I s'pose I'm an old fogy, but I declare to­ day There's scarcely any sum you'd name I wouldn't gladly pay If we hadn't got so stylish and moved.hera to New York, Where you have to eat each kind of food writli a different I^ind of fork; If we still lived whore we used to live (Lord, how the bob'links sung!) If my wife would write as she used to write, when she and I was young! --Boston Transcript. Modern Learned Maiden. "Where are you going, my pretty maid?" "To Vassar College, sir," she said, "Sir," she said, f "Sir,", she said, "To Vassar College, sir," she said, . "May I go with you, my pretty maid?" " 'Tis a female college, sir," she said. "How can one enter, my pretty maid?" "Solely by intellect, sir," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "Take an A. B. if I can," she said. "Then won't you marry me, my pretty maid?" "Nay, we'll be bachelors, sir," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "I shall be Master of Arts," she said. "Then won't you marry me, my pretty maid?" ' "You would be master of me," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "Try for a Ph. D., sir," she said. "Then I won't marry you, my preti^ maid." "Nobody asked you. sir," she said, "Sir," she said, „ "Sir," she said, "Nobody asked you, sir," she said. --Courier Journal. A Puzzle. Alas! I am a graybeard; My years are fifty-three; I'm old and grave, but Bessie ne'er Will sit upon my knee. Yet once this dimpled maiden, ) With birdlike sounds of glee t ' And sweet proprietary airs, Would perch upon my knee. And oft we've romped together, When summer winds blew free, But evening stars and sleepy eyes Brought Bessie to my knee. But. now I cannot coax her; What can the difference be? Her gowns are long, she romps no more, Nor sits upon my knee. --James B. Kcnyon in. the Century. Playthings, "Back to your playthings, child," my father says; "I cannot tell you now." This when I come to him on long dull days, To ask him "Why?" and "How?" And other things that surely I should know-- "What brought me here?" and "Must I some day go?" "Whither, and why?"' They all perplex me so! Ah, precious playthings, who shall hold you light? You keep my eyes from tears, My empty hands from trembling; this my kite, That windward wheels and veers-- Fortune I call it, and this merry ball Is Pleasure, and, the dearest of them all, This Idol--broken; once I,let it fall. A :A.; Then comes some careless hand and sweeps away My toys, and while I weep, An ache is in my heart that, such as they Had never stilled to sleep-- • Its clamorous questionings, that will not bow i ' " " ^ To his denial, nor my silence-vow; "I have no toys. Ah, tell me, tell me now!" --Louise Betts Edwards in Scribner's. Natural, In showing how one sense Is sharp­ ened to supply the loss of another, Dr.' S. Millington Miller writes that Alexan­ der Hunter, of the land office at Wash­ ington, though entirely deaf, spelled without mistake 150 words read to him from tbe dictionary. He h: s become able to read the motion of the lips of those addressing him. The facility is not rare among the deaf, and by means of it some of them, like Mitchell, the chemist of the tJhited States Pstciit Office, jhave been able' to understand necessary for their gradu- ftti<H$&|»tese-