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-- R O D / BDKllNOTONiO doom M'HENRY, ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, JULY 17, 1895. PUBLISHED EVEKY WEDNESDAY BY T. V AN SLYK E,- EDITOR AND PBOPKIETOR. OFFICE MJ THE NICHOLS BLOCK. Two Doers North of Perry & Owen's Stor<s, " TERWS OF SUBSCRIPTION One year (in advance).......» 50 If No* Paid within Three Months... .... 2 00 Subscription!# reeoivpri for three or six months-in the 'same proportion. RATES OF ADVERTISING: We announce liberal rates for advertising n the PLAlNBEAiiEK,' and endeavor to state them so plainly that they will be readily un derstooti. They are as.followe: 1 Inch one year - • - 6 00 2 Inches one year - - - - 10 00 B Inches one year i - - 15 00 Column one year 30 00 Jtf Column one year 60 00 Column one year - - - - - 100 00 One ncn means the measurement of one laoh down the column, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have the privilege of ohanging as often as they choose, without extra charge. Regular advertisers (meaning those having standing cards) will .he entitled to insertion of local notices at the rate of 6 cents per liiie each week. All others will be charged 10 cents per line the first week, and 5 cents per ihe for eaoh subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged at the r&fce of 10 cents pe line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the llrst issue, and 6 cents per line for subsequent issues. Thus, an iuoh advertisement will cost $1.00 for one week, *1.50 for two weeks, $2.00 for three weeks, and so on. The PLAIMDEALBK will be liberal in giving editorial notioes, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CAKDS. FRANK L. SHEPARD, COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Suite 514--30 La Salle St., Chicago. C. H. FEGERS, M, D- PUYSICIAN ALND SURGEON, MoHenry Ills. Ofllce at Residence. JOS, L. ABT, M. D. PHY9IC1AN, SURGEON AND ODD LIST, Ofllce iu Nichols Block, over Plaindeaier Office. MoHenry Telephone No 4. DR. A. E. AURINGER, PHYSICIAN ASDSURGEON. Office in the Stroner building, one door west of A. P. B ifir'e store, West McHenry, 111. Residence, house formerly occupied by Dr. Osborne, All professional ealls promptly at­ tended to, t O. B. HOWE, M. D, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Offi ;e and Residence, Hotel Woodstock. Office hours 1 to 2 r. m. daily, Oails promptly at­ tended to Deserving poor treated tree ol charge at office, including medicine Monday and Friday. F. C. COLBY, D, D. S. DENTIST, Woodstock, 111. Special aten-tion paid to regulating children's teeth, Parties coining from a distance will do well to give timely notice by mail. Office, Kendal block corner Main street and PublioSq arc U. P. BARNES, A TTORNEY, Solicitor, andi Counselor, J\. Collections',a specialty. WOODSTOCK, ILLINOIS. KNIGHT & BROWN, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. U. S. Express co.'s Building, 87 and 89 Washington St. CHICAGO, ILL. JOHN P. SMITH, Watchmaker & Jeweler McHENRY. ILLINOIS. A FINE stock of Clocks, Watches and Jew­elry always on hand. Special attention given to repairing fine watches. Give mo a call. JOHN P- SMITH. H. C. MEAD, Justice of the Peace and General In­ surance Agent including Accident and Life Insurance. OFFICE WITH B. GILBERT, NEAR DEPOT, WEST MCUENRY, III. W. P. ST. CLAIR, Justice of the Peace and Notary Public heal Estate and Insurance. NUNDA, III . A. M. CHURCH, Watohmaker and Jeweler No. 126 State Street, Chicago. Special attention given to repairing Fine Watches an 1 Bhronouieters. A Full Assortment ol Goods in his line. Westerman & Son, HOUSE, SIGN AND CARRIAGE PAINTERS. MCHENRT, ILLINOIS. We are prepared to do all work in our llBe on short notice and guarantee satisfaction. PAPER HANGING A SPECIALTY Prices reasonable and wc<rk promptly done. WESTERMAN & SON. McHenry, J %nnary 30, 1894, JOHN J. BUCH, -RESTAURANT ' AND BOARDING HOUSE, Near the Iron Bridge, McHenry, Board bY the Day or Week at Reasonable rates, A NICE LINE OF,Row BOATS AT MT LANDING. Pure Wines, Liquorsand/fjhoice Oigars always on hafid WFreshLager Beer coj&tantly on/draught / 4«uf, U/AMTCn 8 or 10 men to solicit orders « HI' I C.U for Hardy "Nursery Stock Fruit and Ornamentals ; also new and vatu able varieties i>f Seed Potatoes. Permanent p-sitioni; grod salary, ranging flom $75 to $125 per month, Apply quick with references, L- L- MAY & CO., St Paul, Minn. Nurserymen* Florists and Seedmen. C. F. BOLEY, Purielor of McHenry Brewery, MCHENRY, ILL. Always on Band with the Best Beer. Does smoke from your cigar arise Like incense in the air? Or does it. only cause a smudge .' And make your neighbor swear.? Why will you stick to cabbage leaves And drive your friends afar, When you can purchase for a dime "Our Monogram" cigar? 80c. BARSIAN iOc. BROS. MAKERS OF Choice Cigars* We can sell you one or a thousand--retai) or wholesale. NEW CASH The undersigned having leased the Pekovsky Block, One Door South of Post Office * McHENItY, ILL., Has refitted the sams and put in a Full Line of Choice Family Grocsries, Kerosene, Gasoline, Potatoes, Fresh Bread (Elgin), Tablets, Pencils, new Teas, new Coffees. Our Bakery Supplies, Received from the Rock ford Bakery are abso­ lutely fresh every day. Bread, Buns, Bis- cuit, Cookies, etc., always on hand. Canned Goods, and all kinds of Fruits in their season can be found at our store, which will be offered tothe buying public at the Lowest Living Prices, for Cash. Our goods are all fresh, new and clean, and we hope Dy fair dealing and good goods to merit and receive a share of public patronage. C. B. MURPHY. McHenry, March 18,1895. PROTECT YOUR HORSE! BY BUYING ONE OF THOSE Handsome Fly Nets Now on exhibition at our shop. We also have a full line of Dusters, Whips, etc., to which we invite your at­ tention, and will guarantee to please you in QUALITY, STYLE AND HHICE. A fine stock of SINGLE & DOUBLE HARNESS Which will be sold cheaper than the same goods can be bought elsewhere and war­ ranted as represented. REPAIRING Promptly Atteniletl to. Do not fail to call at once and get the benefit of our bargains. C U S C A R L S O N . McHenry, 111., June 18, 1895. ik. Engela's SALOON AND RESTAURANT McHENRY, ILLINOIS. Wholesale and Retail Agent for SCULITZ ffliliaskee Bnnriii Co '$ Beer, O THE BEST MADE. In any quantiTv from a Snitz Glass to 1C0 barrels. Orders by mail promptly attepdedjto. '4 Al.SO ALWAYS ON HAND Fine Kentucky Liquors, French""Bitters, choice Ales, Wines, Cigars, Etc. I bi'y none but the best and sell at reasonable prices. Call and see me and I will us< use you well. ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry, 111., 1894. West Side Livery, FEED AND SALE STABLES. E. J. HANLY^ JProp'iv WEST McHENRY, ILL. First class rigs, wit-h or without drivers, furnished5at rcasenabl&^ates- Parties taken and from the Lakes ^ Easy Rigs, and prompt connection made with all trains. Our Rigs will be kept in llrst class shape, and wp shall spare<n&pains to please our cus tomers at all times, Giv&uis a call, _ ' E. J. HANLY, West McHenry, 111,, Aug. 15, 189-4. Do You Want "Wnvlr ? A.steady payingjob VV UI X\. I with lar/est house in ^ i " the West, 20 years established. With our fa­ cilities we can make a good salesman in two weeks from raw material. Nursery stock that Is warranted to grow. 25 best varieties feed potatoes in the world, etc. If you want money write, stating age. L- L. HAY & CO* - v "4 St. Paul, Minn. Nurserymen, Florists and Seedsmen. v (Tbishouaeia.responsiblo) F R E D V A T J E R , SALE. Kai Kai wash Silk, - , 19c Jaconet Plisse, - „ - 9c White Pique, - i . - - 5c Large Bath Towels, extra heavy. - - 10c, 12£c Umbrellas, $1, 75c and 50c Best Sheeting Print, - 3ie Fine dark Dress Print, ' 3£c 75c white shirt, - - - 50c Men's working Shirt, - 30c Pure silk Mitts, - - 15c Best summer Corset for 37e •.]&• - - §1.50 Silk.Waists, - Calico wrappers, large sleeves, full skirt, new , and stylish, no old jobs, 59c Laundried waists, 35c, S9c and §1. Ladies' Jersey ribbed Vests, 5c Silk Veiling, - - - - 5c Hemstitched handkerch'fs 3c 75 white waists at just half price, 25c fans at - - 10c We sell you the Best Goods for the Least Money, : / / / / / mm Ladies' & Misses' Capes. And Jackets in black and stylish colors, to close out at actual cost, all sizes. STYLISH COOL DRESS FABRICS, Novelty Suitings, Serges, Henriettas, Challies, Buntings, Cordeles, Lawns, Percales, Jaconets, Scotch Ginghams, White Goods. ROBES, SKIRT PATTERNS, EMBROIDERIES, Ribbons, Laces, Parasols, Caps, Mitts, Fans. 2,000 yards Lawns and Buntings, fresh from the market, in fine Colors, 5c. NEW STRAW AND FUR HATS, A large stock of new styles, with low prices. COOL SUMMER CLOTHING,' For men, boys and children; medium and skeleton suits; blue, black and gray. Wedding Suits. Over 100 pairs of the famous fully warranted Dutchess all wool pants, just received. I^IPUnited Brand and Beloit fancy colored Dress Shirts, all sizes, many styles, solid colors, perfect fitting and reasonable price. COTTON AND WOOL SUMMER UNDERWEAR, For men, women and children, in ribbed and gauze, all sizes and prices, from 7c to $1 each. Bargains in above goods. HOSIERY, in black and tans. Bargains in Shoes. Fargo's and Douglas' custom made and guaranteed fine and medium shoes. O O Enamelod, tan and patent leather. Working shoes and dancing shoes. Examination invited. Fine cool sweaters only 25c. Fancy all wool Sweaters $1.75. No profits now on Wall Paper, Borders, Lace Curtains. Crockeiy, Glassware, Hammocks, Trunks, Bags. _ Pillsbury, Fancy Patent, and Chick's Patent Flours, all warrant ed, all standard. Above goods always in stock. SLMOIV STOFFEL. Our thus far reliable and carefully handled Iw® UK AH ens Buimiss Will be kept up in future. Will visit the city every Thursday and will fill all special orders of a reasonable nature. SIMON STOFFEL. $ TH'NK OF THE MONEY MADE from inventions--novelties, or sin pi useful labbr-eaving devices, If you Lave maoe a discovery or worKed out a mechanical problem we'll give reliable advice as to patentability. The " Inventive Age, " illustrated magazine, 6th year. In interest of inventors, guarantees work of its' "Patent Department," and illustrates and describee useful inventions free, Complete, valid, strong and comprehensive patent*; best terms; advice free, Address THE INVENT­ I V E A G E , W a s h i n g t o n . D O - ELECTRIC TELEPHONE Sold outright, no rent, no royalty. . Adapted to City, Village or Country. Needed in every home, shop, store and office. Greatest conven­ ience and best sel ler on earth. AaeiitH make from 85 to 850 per day. One in a residence means a sale to all tno neighbors. Fine instruments, no toys, works anywhere, any distance. Complete, ready for use when shipped, Can be put up by any one. never out of order, no repairing, last* a life time. Warranted. A money maker. Write w. P. Harrison & Co.. Clerk 10. Columbat, a If you wish to it send us your will receive our Catalogue free S know all about address and you Price List and "'nrc" GHTNING CO.-- jm. W O O D S T O C K , John Evanson was over from Mc­ Henry last Saturday. J. B. Perry, of McHenry, was here on business last Friday. Miss Bernice Perry, of McHenry, was tggue8t of Miss E&ith Kirk in this city thetntter part 01 last week. . Mra.oniiv and children, of Ma­ rengo, are visiting with her parents, in this city. Win. Quinn, wife and daughter, of Chi­ cago, spent Sunday with friends here. Elegant showers Sunday. Next horae sale Wednesday', Aug. 14, Teachers' institute in this city August 5 toO. , ... ' . . , V N. Baker severed his connection with W.^i. Conklin's grociery Saturday. Fifteen of our bicyclists rode to Lake Geneva and back on their /'bikes" last Sunday and report a delightful trip. The Woodstock base ball team went to Hebron on Monday to play a game with the Hebron boys. This was our boys' third game of the league series. The steam riding gallery is rioing a good business here, the oldeF '^gople as well as the young people enjoying the sport- Ford's Dramatic Company began a weeek's engagement at the Opera House, in this city, Monday evening. Woodstock will now have a telephone exchange, A. C. Wager having' secured the permission of the city council to erect poles and string wires for the purpose of establishing a telephone system. A number of our people drove to Lake Geneva Sunday to spend the day and watch the movements of the party searching for the bodies of the excursion­ ists who were drowned the preceeding Sunday. The bodies of Father Hogan, of Harvard, and I)r. Hogan, of Elgin, were brought up by a diver in the morn­ ing, after which work was abandoned until Monday. S P R I N G G R O V E . Geo. Harness and wife, of Sharon, Wis. have been visiting at Lotus Point. The new factory started up with thirty patrons and were taking in 8,000 pounds of milk at first. Receipts are steadily increasing. Mr. and Mrs. Harry Peets will occupy the rooms over tfie post office. Mrs. Wood, of Marengo, will be our next teacher. We understand there has been no teacher secured in the Creek Dis­ trict as yet. John M. Craine died July 2d, after a long and painful illness. His funeral was held the 5th, and the large number in attendance testified to the great esteem felt for the departed. D. Reynolds, of Belvidere, spent a few days with his daughter, Mrs. Fred Hatch. While fishing he captured a 9% pouud pickerel. RACES AT JANESVILLE. For the above occasion the North­ western Line will, trom July 15 to 20, inclusive, sell excursion tickets to Janes- ville, Wis., and return at low rates. For tickets and full information app'y to the Agents Chicago & North-Western R'y. l-2w Races at Freeport. On account of the Summer Race Meet­ ing to be held at Freeport, July 22 to 27 the Northwestern Liue will sell excursion tickets at, lnilf rates--one fare for the round' trip,Tickets on sale July 22 to 27 inclusive, good for return passage on or before July 29, 1895. Iw3 Half Bates to'Ealtimore, Md, On account of the International Con­ vention Baptist Young People's Union, the Northwestern Line will, on July 15 and 16, sell excursion tickets to Balti­ more, Md., and return at rate of one fare for the round trip, tickets good for re­ turn passage until Aug. 8, 1895, inclu­ sive. For tickets and full information apply to agents Chicago & Northwest­ ern R'y, 1 w2 Desplaines Camp Meeting, The Northwestern Line will, from July 17 to 30, sell excursion tickets to Des­ plaines at low rates. For tickets and full information apply to agents Chicago & Northwestern R'y. Iw2 Mrs. Rhodie Noah, of this place, was taken in the night with cramping pains and the next day diarrhoea set in. She took, half a bottle of blackberry cordial but got no relief. She then seut to me to see if I had anything that would help her I sent her a bottle of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and the first dose relieved her. Another of our neighbors had been sick about a week and had tried different remedies for diar­ rhoea but kept getting worse. I sent him this same remedy. Only four doses were required to cure nim. He says he owes his recovery to this wonderful rem­ edy.--Mrs. Mary Sibley, Sidney, Mich. For sale by J. A. Story. Half Rates to Boston, On account of the International Chris­ tian Endeavor Convention, the North­ western Line will, on July 2, 6, 7 and 8, sell excursion tickets to Boston and re­ turn at the rate of one fare for the round trip, tickets good for return,- passage until Aug. 6th, 1895, inclusive. For tickets and full information apply to agents Cfficago & Northwestern R'y. 50w3 For a nice Fly Net, Duster or Whip, go to Gus Carlson's. He can supply you and at prices to suit. Fly Nets and Dusters in endless variety canjxrfound at Gus Carlson's Harness. Shop, one door south of'-' Nordquest & Weber's Blacksmith Shop, Prices as low as the lowest.. . NOTICE.--Who"wants to be hit with a six dollar Club Pants? Come in and get measured for a $3 BaTm'Door, Stable Door, Fly Front Door or. Plymouth Rock Pants. / E.'LAWLUS. Agent for McHenry. Call at Gus Carlson's and. get your horse dressed up. He keeps^feverything in that line and of the best quality. Money saved to the consumer by buy­ ing Clothing by sample of J. .W. Cristy & Son. Goods and prices guaranteed! to please or no sale. • „ • PROTECTION THE CRY. Protect your children from the fearful fall colds by calling on Perry & Owen for a pair of those "Best of All" school shoes and get a pair of rubbers to keep out the thick mud they are all tramping in. COST TO RUN A SHIP. "Pledged but to Truth, to Islbertr «nd Law; No Favors Win us and no Pear Shall Awe." . V . . -- 1 ^ ' ~ ' : : • • • • • • THE BIG ST. LOUIS REQUIRES $80,000 FOR^THE ROUND TRIP. A Sufepicloas Title. . In Chicago--"The scoundrel addressed a letter to me 'John Smith, B. A.,' " exclaimed the city father wrathfully. "What of it?" "What of it? What does 'B. A.' stand for?." "Bachelor of arts. He thought yon were a college graduate." ; "Oh, that's it, is it? I thought it meant 'boodle alderman.' "-^Chicago Times-Herald. ; It Seems Site Did. • ; "I think I'll lay low," said the hen.;• And shortly afterward there was a loud cackling heard in Farmer Bilby's cellar--Chicago Tribune. The Process From the Time of the Catch to the Canning and Cooking. Toward the end of April the sardine fishermen along the coast of Brittany begin to watch for the bubbling of the sardines on the surface of the sea. For they know that vast shoals of the fish are on their way from the cos Africa up through the bay of Biscay to the north, and that they must be caught, if at all, as they pass. When sees the water agitated, word rapidly and the boats put out from shore and race to the shoal. When the net is extended, the water is "baited" by throwing balls of "roque" into it. As the bait dissolves and sinks the sardines rise and remain long after to nibble it, and their is sealed. For this reason "roque" is a most important part of the erman's outfit. It is made of the mackerel and codfish mixed and is rather expensive, costing from shillings to 70 shillings a barrel. Within the curing factories or can' neries everything is bustle and confn sion, for there must not be a moment's delay in cleaning the fish. All night long the work is carried on by the light of blazing oil wicks. The sardines are spread out on benches or tables, where salt is dusted over them. Then the women go along and snip off the heads with great scissors. The little flat boxes so well known to commerce are taken one by one and filled- from the glistening pile of fish, after which pure olive oil from the province of Bari, in Italy, is poured over them and the tops soldered on. In the meantime a great caldron of hot water has been raised to the boiling point ready for the real operation of cooking the fish. The sealed boxes are thrown into it and left for two or three hours. If any oil appears on the top of the water, the master workman knows that some can has not been properly soldered, and the loss is charged up to the man who did the work. A good workman will not lose more than two or three boxes in 100.--New York Re­ corder. The Work of the Heart. One of the most remarkable things about the heart is the amount of work it does. Considering the organ as a pump whose task" is to deliver a known quantity of blood against a known "head," it is easy to show that in 34 4 hours a man's heart does about 124 foot tons of work "In other words," says a contemporary, "if the whole force ex­ pended by the heart in 24 hours were gathered into one huge stroke, such a power would lift 124 tons one foot from the ground. A similar calculation has been made respecting the aruOqnt of work expended by the muscles involved in breathing. In 24 hours these muscles do about 21 foot tons of work." -• ' I A mob is usually a creature of very . mysterious existence, particularly in a • large city. Where it conies from or whither it goes few men can fcelL As- sembling'and dispersing with equal sud­ denness, it is as difficult to follow to its various sources as the sea itself, nor does the parallel stop here, for the ooeaa is not more fickle and uncertain, more terrible when aroused, more unreason.- able or more crue^.---Dickens. , . ^ Light on a Dark, Suttject. Rivers--Supposing it to be true thai Luther did throw/ah ink$oUle at - why do you think7he did it? V Banks--1 presume he wanted lose© if he oouldn't make Mm blacker than Iit'.1 ' was painted.--Caiieasci Tribune. | She Burns 815,000 Worth of Coal--The Bill For Breakage Is No Small Affair. Salaries 6f Oflicers and Men- Are Small, but Some of Them Get Large Fees. The cost of running a big ocean grey­ hound to Europe and back reaches into the thousands. A transatlantic liner is really a floating hotel, and everything on board is conducted on the same scale of lavishness that is found in a fashion­ able Fifth-avenue hotel. 'J . ' ; . Clement A. Griscom, Jr., son of the president of the line controlling the St. Louis, agreed to give some figures to a World reporter covering the expense of her voyage to England and back. He figured for some time and then said that the expenses of the round trip of a steamer like the St. Louis average be­ tween "$00,000 and $80,000, according to the season. The voyage between the two ports takes a trifle more than seven days, making the daily cost of operating in the busy season something like $5,500. No single individual on the St. Louis gets a large salary. The \gtain heads the list, getting about $5^0(){r*Tt-3^r\ Captains on smaller passenger steamers only receive $3,000 a year. The chief officer of a ship like the St. Louis gets $1,500, and the bulk of the heavy work really falls on his shoulders. The sec­ ond officer's pay ranges from $900 to $1,200, according to the size uf the ship, while the third and fourth officers only get from $000 to $900. All of these men have to perform duties of a re­ sponsible kind, and as there are no bo­ nuses attached to their work it can be seen that they are not overpaid. The crew of the St. 'Louis numbers 410 men. Two hundred of these are iu the engineer's department, and all of them are directly under the authority of the chief. The steward's department is the next largest, numbering 170 in all. The sailors, includiug the deck offi­ cers, number but 40. The engineer's department is the most expe&swe on the ship, owing to the immense c<ml bills. The St. Louis burns moro tlnlsi 300 tons a day, or about 4,500 tons tSe round trip. This means an expenditure of $15,000 alone. The salaries of the meb, the engineering supplies, including tlm thousand and one things needed for tae vast machin­ ery of a great ship, will require an ex­ penditure of $5,000 every round trip. The chief engineer d\-aws $3,000 a year, and his immediate assistants re­ ceive $1,500, $1,200 and $1,000 respec­ tively. The stokers or, firemen average about $30 a month, and the furnaces of the St. Louis require 180 of them work ing in different shifts. The purser, who is a most important person on board, does not get much in the wayvof salary, as the company in fixing his pay figured on the large bonuses he receives for changing money and performing the little services which the wealthy traveler does not hesitate to pay for liberally. His salary is only $ 1, - 000 a year, but he makes another $2,000 in fees and sometimes considerably more. The ship's surgeon only receives $900 a year for the same reason. He is brought in contact with numerous real and fancied invalids of the wealthy class, and although no one is compelled to fee him few fail to do so, and a big, popular ship like the St. Louis is worth to him at least $3,000 to $4,000 a year. The steward's department is one of the cditliest on the' ship. The provisions for a round trip cost in the neighborhood of $12,000, and the salaries of the stew­ ard's men amount to $3,000 more. The stewards are the least paid of any on the ship, for the reason that in the fees of the passengers they collect a consider­ able sum annually. All the pay they get is $20 a month, but they take in $40 a-month in tips. The seasick man and woman are always willing to give their last cent for some little service. o The chief steward receives $1,500 a year and also comes in for his share of the tips, as it is within his power to place many delicacies in the way of the liberal tourist. The chief cook is a great man on the ship, almost as great as the captain, and in all makes $3,000 a year out of his job. The breakage and wear and tear on the ship and its furniture are very heavy, requiring an expenditure in incidentals of about $5,000 each round trip. There are countless things to be replaced, and a comparatively little thing like the Washing of the ship's linen means an ex­ penditure big enough to support a man for a year in the lap of luxury. Here are some odd facts about the St. Louis: There are fully 1,000 tons of piping of various kinds in the ship. The condensers will pump up at least 50, 000,000 gallons of cool water a day. The furnaces will consume no less than 7^500,000 cubic feet of air an hour. The bojler tubes, if placed in a straight line, would stretch nearly 10 miles and the condenser tubes more than 25 miles. The total number of separate pieces of steel in the main structure of the ship is not less than 40,000, and the total num­ ber of cubic feet of timber, used in the construction is more than 100,000. The total number of. rivets is not far from 1,250,000.--New York World. SCOTCH HUMOR. It Crops Out Occasionally Among Elders of the Kirk. • " The elder of the kirk, like most of us, can blunder occasionally. The pastor of a small village on the borders had gone for a few days to visit some relatives, when an old lady was suddenly stricken down and not expected to live more Shan a few hours. The elder was hastily summoned to Attend; but,/having been lately elected t<5 the post/which he had accepted in order to satisfy the vanity of his wife, he did not ffeel able to face the trying ordeal. His wife entreated him to do his duty, and whispering a few lines, of Scripture into his ears sent him off on his errand.. . An hour later his wife beheld him stepping homeward as brisk as a March hare. Sho inquired how he had ccmejon. *- .."Ph, fine, woman, fine!" yras - ply. "She was deid when I got there A short time ago, when disestablish^ ment was in everybody's mouth, an old lady created quite a sensation in a church not far from Annan. Having been from home a considerable time, she was unaware that the" election of elders had taken place. She attended services the following Sunday, when the minister, commenting on the result, re-- marked that in David Richardson the church had a new pillar of strength, to ^which she retorted: "WhatI David Richardson a pillar I Nae wonder the auld kirk's gaun to fa'!" David, who had the misfortune to have a wooden leg and a.hump back, quietly rose up and answered: "Whee ht, ye gowk. Criffel's (a mountain in the neighbor­ hood) not straight!" ; On one occasion the minister met Donald coming from Dumfries Rood fair in rather a muddled state. "David! David! Do I see your double?" s "Eh, guidsakes, minister!" exclaimed the elder. "Guidsakes, are ye fou tae?" A minister, feeling indisposed on one occasion, did not put in an appearance, and the elder, apologizing for his ab­ sence, gave it out that "his reverence was unco bad in the roolnattic" (for so he pronounced the word rheumatism) "and couldnt get out." - 4 On hearing this startling intelligence an old lady who happened to bfc pres­ ent shrieked out: , i "Eh, that auld hizzy o' his! Has she locked puir man in the attic because he ": was enjoying himsel' at Farmer Bell's kirn?"--Scottish American. SARDINE FISHING. "