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myself aqd' let my only child go outin the world without mjr help and advice."1' The widow was aetnaljy gobbing now, ,and Thomas Jefferson Biggs pulled a big red silk handkerchief out of his pocket and stuck his noise into it sym­ pathetically. "And think of me, lilahitabel," ho said. "I, too, will be all alone, with my only child gone out into the world without-my help and advice/1 - don't know what's going to hap­ pen," sobbed the widtow, without auy particular aproposuess to anything. Thomas Jefferson Biggs laughed and laughed so heartily that the widow loked at him in amazement through her tears. "If I tell you how to aiTange it all, so that Angeline and Thomas Jefferson, Jr.. will have a home of their own, you will have a home of your own, and I will have a home of my own^and none of us will havg to live aWne, will you be satisfied?" he asked her. "Indeed, Thomas Jefferson, I would," slio said, after the manner of helpless women when relief is promised. "W61I, then, let Thomas Jefferson, Jr.. move into your--- "Didn't I tell you I wouldn't take any son-in-law to raise?" and she became aggressive again. . * ' "Well, then, let Angeline come to my----" "• . " "Didn't I tell you Angeline shouldn't Slave her life---" ' «.• • * Thomas Jefferson Biggs laughed again, interrupting her. , •' "Very well, madam," said Thomas Jefferson Biggs, with great dignity, "there is but one course to pursue. You must come to my house and take----" "Wha--wha--what do-7--the Wid-., ow Muggirfs began to splutter. " s "Charge of me," continued Thomas Jefferson Biggs, "and let the children take your house and farm. Then you won't have any son-in-law, and I won't have any daughter-in-law, but will all be one family, with Mr. and Mrs. Thom­ as Jefferson Biggs in charge of every­ thing, and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jef­ ferson, Jr., as tenants." Then Thomas Jefferson Biggs stooped down and kissed Mehitabel Muggins with a loud explosion, and as strange as it may seem io those who expected something more of a temper such as Mehitabel Muggins' she actually put her head down on the shoulder of Thomas Jefferson Biggs and felt com­ fortable for the first time since the de­ parture of the late lamented Jethro Muggins, of Codfish Haven.--Washing­ ton Star. BOMBS TO BIG MEN. Infernal IHachincB Sent til Aruxoiir and Pullman.. Two crudcly constructed infernal ma­ chines were mailed in Chicago Monday morning to George M. Pullman and Philip D. Armour. They did not reach the des­ tinations the sender of them intended, but Were taken possession of *by° Capt. Stuart, of the Postal Secret Service. Capt, Stuart, also has in his charge S. A. Owens, who says lie heard two mou talk­ ing of their scheme to kill Pullman and Armour, and almost ran his legs off Sun­ day night to warn them of the fate in store for them. ~ *. The deadly character, of the machines was demonstrated by an examination of their contents and by igniting some of the powder removed from them, as well as a part of the fuse which completed the mechanism of a contrivance so arranged that the removal of the lids of the boxes which composed the outer casings of the devices would result in the ignition of tho powder and the fuse which was trained into a lead pipe. The package addressed to Mr. Armour was unwrapped carefully. When the paper had been removed it was found to contain a thin box about 0 inches long, iy2inches wide and 1^ inches deep. It was made of. wood taken from a cigar, box. The three sides had been nailed together, but on top. there was .a sliding lid. It .had been made rather rudely, the -lid especially being roughly ishaped and working badly. Inside was a piece of lead pipe three-quarters of an inch in diameter and as long as the inte­ rior length of the bo*x._ Both ends of the lead pipe were plugged with corks. All around this : pipe and completely 'filling the box was black, coarse powder,, as a match applied easily proved, it to be.' There was a hole in the side, of the Jead pipe,'and in this was fastened'a piece of fuse three inches long.. On the .under side, of thte sliding lid w^is, glued a piece of sandpaper Covering the" powder in­ side was an other piece of sandpaper, with tho rough side turned upward. Be­ tween the two sandpaper surfaces the heads of a number of parlor matches had been placed, with more powder scattered in between. The whole machine wds fastened so that if the sliding lid had been moved as much as one-fourth of an inch one of the matches must have become ignited by the grinding sandpaper surfaces. No matter what was contained inside tho piece of lead pipe, a quarter of a pound of gunpowder must have been exploded, and experts say that alone would have done considerable damage to the person drawing the lid. Both machines were constructed upon the same principle. SO SAYS CARLISLE IN HIS AN NUAL REPORT. Secretary of the Treasury Practically Repeats the. President's Message-- Urees Retirement of Treasury Notes --Expecte a $7,000,000 Surjjlus. v WIDOW * MUGGINS' « OPPOSITION Carlisle on Currency. Secretary Carlisle's annual report on the state of the finances was sent to Con­ gress Monday. It shows that the reven­ ues of. the Government from all sources during the last fiscal year amounted to $390,373,203. The " expenditures during tiie same period aggregated $433,178,420, leaving a deficit for the year of $42,805,- '223. As eompaired with the fiscal--year 1894, the receipts for 1895 increased $17,- 570,705, although there was a, decrease of $11,329,9S1 in the ordinary expendi­ tures, which is largely accounted for by a reduction of $11,134^055 on sugar boun­ ties. The revenues for the current fis­ cal year are estimated upon the basis of existing laws at $431,907,407 and the expenditures at $448,907,407,which will leave a deficit of $17,000,000.* For the. coming fiscal year ending June 30, 1S97, the Secretary estimates the -re­ ceipts at $464,793,120. and the expendi­ tures at $457,884,193, or an estimated surplus of $0,908,920. The ' Secretary •states briefly the facts concerning the, is­ sues of bonds during the yeai% the par­ ticulars of which have already been re­ ported to',Congress. ^ ,* Th,e .Secretary devotes a! large share of his report -to a-discussion of the condi­ tionof the treasury and the'currency, in THE ASHANTEE WAR, Great Kritain Dispatches a Strong Force Against the Ashantee Kins. From the British Gold Coast, near the Gulf of Guinea, in Western Africa, an expedition under Sir Francis Scott has set out to mete out punishment to Prem- pch, the savage and blood-thirsty King of Ashantee. The land is rich in gold and populous and will be a valuable ac­ quisition to Great Britain, for ajjnexa- SECRETARY CARLISLE. the course of ' which he makes an r ex­ haustive argument in favor of the retire­ ment of the greenbacks. "The cash balance in the treasury on the first day of December, 1895," he says, "was $177,400,380, being $98,072,- 420 in excess of the actual gold reserve 011 that day, and $77,400,386 in excess of any sum that it would be necessary to use for replenishing that fund in caa« the Secretary should at any time bo able to exchange currency for gold. There is, therefore, no reason to doubt the abil­ ity of the Government to .discharge all its current obligations during the present fiscal year and have a large cash balance at its close,, without imposing additional Whiskers Under the Vest. "Are beards lucrative, or, in other words, can one make any money by wearing them long?" said a young man about town. "Upon the first thought and perhaps even after one has evolved the question carefully in his mind, lie would reply no. But they are wrong, as the following case of an old artist will show. By 'old artist' is not meant a genius like Harriet, Angelo or men of that class, but a painter who, besides being noted for his superior work in portraits, is conspicuous for the qnan- tity of hair which sprouts from his chin. This gentleman, it is said, has won many a wager 011 his beard, which is of such length that he is, compelled to wear it underneath his vest. No one ever sees the hirsute growth, except when he exhibits it to settle a bet. To saunter into a saloon and get into conversation with some of the customers there has become a hobby with him, for in doing so he has an object. He frequently gets a drink in consequence of betting with some other fellow who has a fairly long beard as to whose is the longest,1^ and it is seldom that he loses a wager of this kind, for his whiskers extend to the bottom of his waistcoat."--Philadel­ phia Call. * „ Monster Water Wheel. A water wheel of remarkable con­ struction has been introduced in the North Star mine, Grass Valley, Cal. It is 18 feet in diameter, weighs 10,500 pounds and develops 250 horse-power, running under a 750-foot head, at 100 revolutions, and is directly connected to the shaft of a duplicate compressor, compound tandem type, of same ca­ pacity. The design of this wheel Is novel. From a cast-iron hub radiate twenty- four steel spokes, which are connected I to a rim made up of angle buckets, j properly shaped, having a slat for the I buckets, which are bolted to the per­ iphery, the strain being taken by four heivy steel truss rods. The large diameter of the wheel is for the purpose of giving proper speed to the compressor under the high head available and the water is applied to the wheel through a variable nozzle, controlled by an automatic regulator, the latter maintaining a uniform speed on the wheel.---The Paper Mill. He Stood Alone. In a small settlement out West some years ago, an old man entered the town bank one afternoon, and, walking by the loungers, presented a check to the paying teller. He received in return a number of greenbacks, which he count­ ed. A look of perplexity overspread his face and he counted the bills a second time; then, turning to the teller, lie handed back a note. "See here, you gave me$50 too much," he said, and left the,bank. In a few moments he was overtaken by a shaggy native who accosted him. "Say, stranger, you jest left the bank, didn't ye?" "Yes, 1 did." "Cashed a check thar, didn't ye?" "That's the fact of the case." "The teller gave ye fifty dollars too much, I b'lieve?" "Yes, he did." "An' ye gave it back ter him?" "Why, certainly." The native surveyed him slowly from head to foot. "Stranger," he at last broke out, "ain't you awful lonesome?"--Boston Transcript. Frogs in a Bed Chamber. The Empress Eugenie ordered a bag of frogs to be brought in from the for­ est for thelate Dr. Pasteur's microscop ical researches when he was visiting at Compiegne. When lie left Pasteur put the bag in one of the bureau drawers and forgot it. The next inhabitant of the room was a charming beauty of the court, who was wakened in the night by a mysterious seiisatiou, and at the same time her foot encountered some­ thing cold and clammy in her bed. Lighting her candle, she found herself surrounded by a small legion of frogs en promenade. After the illustrious savant's departure a femme de cham- bre, finding a damp traveling bag in the bureau, threw it under the bed without examining the contents aud forgot it. Rather Hazy 011 Americanism. Dr. Stoffel, one of our most recent foreign critics, , is struck with the plirase."How is that for high?" which he says is the American's first question on tasting'U pie. "The American plays with the sense of the wrord 'high' in this vulgar phrase; lie intends it to mean 'slightly putrid,' 'strong smelling,' re­ ferring to the game inside the pie." Dr. Stoffel found "dog-gone" in Punch; "Chicago makes ready for more denied, dog-goned fetes (in honor of Columbus) to lastt till, at least., next Octo.boj-J." jp-. 011 which he makes the learned com­ ment: "Dog-gone, wonderful, astound­ ing; an Americanism about which - I can give 110 further information." Carved His Own Coffin. t A coffin yarn from England is this, < from a Nottingham paper: "The hob- < by of an old gentleman, who has just ( departed this life in Duddlestone, was ' wood carving. Being of independent J means he was able to devote his time { to the craft and became a very artistic , craftsman. After filling his house with 1 hand-carved furniture he turned his at- 1 tention to the carving of an oaken ] coffin, to contain his remains. Over the • richly carved panels he spent much [ loving care. In this coflin\de luxe he Was buried the other day, and, ift ac­ cordance with minute instruction's in his lasf will and testament, was fol­ lowed to the grave by one mourner only --a young man to whom he had left the bulk of his property; ignoring all of his relatives. The coffin was conveyed to the churchyard in the old gentleman's private vehicle, drawn by his favorite I pony." . Singular Loss of Memory. A curious instance of sudden loss of memory is reported from Brighton, En­ gland. While sitting on the sea front a woman felt something break in her head. She thereupon became unable fo tell her name, address, or anything I connected with her past life. She is I at present in the Brighton workhouse, her continual cry being: "Oh, shall I get my memory again?" Tier clothing- ] does not contain a single mark or ini­ tial whereby she might be identified. A Severe Criticism. Probably 110 two artists ever criti­ cised each other more severely than did Fuseli and Nortlicotd, yet they remain­ ed fast friends. At one time Fuseli was looking at Nortlicote's painting of the aiigel meeting Balaam.and his ass. J "How do you like it?" as]>ed North- j cote, after a long silence. "Northcote," replied Fuseli, promptly, "you are an 1 angel at an ass, but an ass at an angel?" INTERLOCKED DEER SIIOT IN NORX. DAKOTA. Long Distance'Phones in Germany In Germany ,434 towns are now con­ nected by long, distance telephones, which Jiave 110,000 subscribers. Old Swiss Watehes. • The oldest watches bearing inscribed dates are of Swiss mak£, and the date is 14S4. A live man shouldli<5Kwah» the'earth --ie should be above it.