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THE WAYS OF THE MONKEY. For thirty years had this same dla- so on,-rapidly. Her feet shuffled and Togue taken place on each oOhelW groundrrxodut?TTiow^ THE MAN FOR SANDY. V W<. 1 would n:i gie a copper plack For ony man that turns his back On duty clear; . I wouldna t.ik his word or note, L wouldna trust him for a groat. Which he might steer. •When things are just as things should be, And fortune gies a man'the plea. Where'er he be It isna hard to understand How hf may walk through house and land Wi' cheerful face and open hand' Continually. , But wjjen, i' spite o' work and care, 'A ttiam must ioss and failure bear, ~ He merits praise:6 Wha will not to misfortune bow, jWho cocks his bonnet on his brow •And fights and fights, he kensha how, Through lang, hard days. I wouldna gie an auld bawbee 'For ony man that I could see Wha didna hold The sweetness o' his mithep's name, The kindness-o'. his brother's claim, The honOr o' a woman's fame, Far mair than gold. Nor is it Hard fof him to do, •Wha kens'hi#;'friends a re leal and true, Lore sWeet and strong. {Whose.hearth ksows not from year to^year The shadow of a doubt or fear^'^t"-;- ' Or feels the falling of a tear : V ' For only wrong. ' ®ut gi^ tem praise whose love is pain, ;' Wha. wfong.'d, forgives'and loves again, And. though lie grieves, Lets not -t he-dear one from his.care, < But loves hiu^mair, and mair, and mair, And bides his time wi' hope and prayer, And still believes. Ay, gie him praise who doesna fear The up-hill fight from year to year And who grips fast His ain dear ones through good or ill, Wha, if they wander, loves them still; Some day of joy he'll get his fill; He'll win , at last. --Pittsburg Post. DAFT BE^h "Miiiehst£ifide, famous 'for ye flowre gardens: infamous for ye fay re." That is how an old chronicler sums up tin; character of the village. The flower gardens remain unto this day; so does cthe fair. But. the fame of the one and the infamy of the other have long been merged in a decent obscurity. Minch­ stead has, indeed, shared the fate of a hundred other villages. It has suc­ cumbed to an age of railwaysr For­ merly, Londoners used to visit Minch­ stead for changfr of air. They then /took as long reaching it by coach or by post chaise as4 they now take over a railway journey to St. Leonards or Eastbourne. Bath chairs and donkey chaises were quite abundant on Minch­ stead common then. Children and nurses thronged it It was a popular sayiug in the place that "seven airs met there-'--meaning thereby seven dis­ tinct characters of atmosphere. How that number was arrived at is scarcely obvious. But, at any rate, the common .was, and is, particularly bracing, and a day spent upon it cannot fail to invig­ orate the spender. i Now, however, Ichabod! No one is to be met there save the ubiquitous golfer, the loafer, who lives upon his lost balls, and the dingiest sheep and • most odoriferous,goats that are to be • found within the twelve-mile radius. ( The fair, as we have said, still re- fonains. It is held at Bartlemytide on .the old village green. There is an old and there is 'a new green at Mincli- Wfe&ad. The latter deserves the name, •for it has a fine expanse of turf; with jtlie former it is otherwise. Every jblade of grass has long disappeared from jit. It is a-bare, worn space of gravel and sand, trodden to the consistency of a road by playing children and loafing men and women. It is here that the denizens, whose houses lie around the green, are full of cursing and bitterness for three whole days in every August j. The strident music of the merry-go- rounds. the nauseous odors of their oil- fed engines, the oaths of drunken men. the shrieks of drunken women, the gen­ eral rowdyism and disorders which are rampant after dark may serve as some excuse even for cursing and bitterness. Many Minchsteadites have tried to get flie nuisance put down, but without avail. The fair is held by royal char­ ter. An act of Parliament alone can abolish it And Parliament has its ltands too full already to be passing acts for the abatement of mere local nuis­ ances. , The fair, therefore, continues. In the daytime eit is quite respectable; it is even aristocratic, as aristocracy in Minchstead goes. Ladies--no mere lydies--have been seen in the swing­ ing boatsjbefore dusk; gentlemen--and those not simply gents--stroll up there .to while away an hour of the afternoon in eoeoanut skies and rifle shooting. There is a famous shooting range, kept ,by one Amos Dunkley, which has graced Minchstead fair regularly since •the. early 50's. l'ou do not simply shoot down a tube at glass bottles, but you have a sort of miniature jungle where- iu to,,practice your markmanship- a jungle full of moving rabbits and Hying birds for ^he experts, of stationary targets a^d bottles for the inexpe­ rienced. $ ' To those Minchsteadites who used to patronize this gallery a few years ago one figure must have been very famil­ iar. It was that of a middle-aged wom­ an, belonging evidently to the poorer classes., who used to stand just at the entrance of Dunkley's gallery all through the three days of the fair. She went by the name of "Daft Bet" Pass- v ers-by would nod to her in a pitying sort of way, and give her coppers or small siTv<?r edins. She did not, how­ ever, pay muchibeed to any of them, or even seem to' tfdMjwh'fether they gave her money or not} ?Her eyes were all the while fixedJipon ihe entrance of the shooting gallery, with a set, eager expression, as though she wejreanxious- ly watching for some one to come out. So she was'. So she had been now for thirty years. When eleven struck, and came to the door-to close his gauw mr the night, she would as nights of Minchstead Bartleiuy fair Daft Bet's story tvas a sufficiently sad one. In the year 1855, a bride of Six weeks' standing, she had lost her hus­ band in fhe. following tragic way: Dunkley, one of whose assistants had been Unexpectedly laid up, had engaged Tom Filcher, a resident of Minchstead, to help him with his shooting gallery during the three days of the fair. To­ ward evening, on the last of the three days, something went wrong with one of the running rabbits, and Tom crept into the jungle to put the thing in or­ der. The shooting was stopped while he did so. but the gallery was very full just then; there was great confusion and crowding among the would-be marksmen, and somehow one of the attendants did not observe that Tom. Pilcher was in the jungle, for he was stooping very low and was hidden by the artificial grass and rushes. The at­ tendant handed a loaded gun to a gentle­ man who stretched out his hand for\it. The latter, also never seeing Tom, took- aim at bne of the rabbits in the grass, and--before he could be stopped--fired. There came a sharp cry from the jungle, followed by an ominous groan. Dunkley sprang over tlie barrier and rushed forward. He found poor Tom Pilcher huddled upon the ground, just ^eathing his last. An ugly wound in the forehead showed where the ball had p e n e t r a t e d . . , - ^ i - / • Everybody present was horror-strick­ en by this tragical accident The gen­ tleman who had fired the shot, especial­ ly, was iii a perfect agony of distress. But the affair was rendered sadder still by what followed. Tom's young wife, who had come there to walk home with him, was actually wTaiting for him at the entrance at the time when the acci­ dent. occurred. Some excited and thoughtless witness of the catastrophe went out and told her--never attempt­ ing to break it gently, or in any way to prepare the poor girl for the shock. She ran wildly in. She forced her way through the crowd to her dead husband. She threw-herself upon his body, with a terrible wail. When she at lengtli raised her eyes from the dead they were fixed and strange. The light of reason was gone from them. It never returned. This is how it was that ever after­ ward, during the Minchstead Bartlemy fair, you would find her at the door of Dunkley's gallery waiting for Tom; never quitting her post, never grow­ ing weary, always receiving with pa­ tient acquiescence Dunkley's intima­ tion that Tom could not be spared from the show that night, and buoying her­ self up with the promise that he would surely be allowed to come with her to­ morrow. The gentleman who had fired the fatal shot made what amends were possible to this afflicted creature. He called upon the vicar of the parish and arranged to pay the widow, through him, a sufficient weekly allowance to keep her in comfort for her life, or-- supposing such a course should be held necessary--to defray the cost of her maintenance in a good private asylum. The former course was adopted, for the doctors pronounced her quite harmless, and declared that there was no reason for shutting her up. And so poor Daft Bet lived on in Minchstead for thirty years. pitied and kindly used by all; not unhappy, never Vomplainlng, but supported from first toM&s£ by ber mer­ ciful delusion, and always confident that she should see her Tom--to-mor- ever, observed her. The place was full. Amos and his assistants were all busy. At last Daft Bet could remain in her plaeo no longej'. She glided swiftly forward and mingled with the throng. Soon she .was close to the barrier wliero-the marksmen stood and was al­ most rubbing shoulders with the young man, oh whom her eyes had been never- ceasiugly fixed. They Were glittering now with a pe­ culiar light. She lifted her hand and plucked the young man by the sleeve "Ililloa, mother! What is it?" he said,'turning round and regarding her good-naturedly. ;;--r. .. r • "Where is Tom?" she asked, almost in a whisper." "My good woman, really I cannot tell you," was the laughing rejoinder. "You know where he is--you do know where lie is," she persisted, with a cer­ tain fierceness in her tone. "I assure you you are quite mistak­ en." said the young man, still laughing, for he supposed that it was some kind of joke. "I know nothing about him." "You shall tell me!" she cried, pas­ sionately. "You Shall tell me where he is!" At this point one of the assistants, who was standing at the barrier load­ ing rifles for use, turned rpujud and sa w Daft Bet clutching the young man's arm. "Now then, lass," lie said, sharply, "none of that. " You've no business here annoying our customers. ComeK clear out of it!" • \ . » The woman's eyes blazed. With .in­ credible swiftness, and before he could prevent her, she reached forward and caught up one of the weapons which he had just loaded She pointed it straight at the young man's forehead. She pulled the trigger. It was all tike work of a second. Crack! flash! smoke! a heavy thud; and then a moment's awful silence. In that moment, while dismay still held every onlooker paralyzed, Bet threw down the discharged gun and snatched up another--loaded, ready for use. She held the muzzle against her own foteliead and, crying, "He does know--he does; he shall take me to my Tom!" so fired, and fell. * « « * * * * "Good God!" said Amos Dunkley a few minutes later, to one of the dead man's companions. "Good God! Then that explains it." "liow? What do you mean?" ex­ claimed the other, who was nearly be­ side himself with mingled grief and horror. "I mean, young man," answered Amos very solemnly, "that the hand of fate is clearly present in this dread­ ful thing. Thirty years ago her hus­ band was accidentally shot in my gal­ lery on this very green. The one as shot him was your " poor friend's father."--London Truth. . PECULIAR RETAINING FEE. it Tom ? Will he be coming- iiomc to-night?" And Dunkley would say, with a-kindly gravity that did credit to his felings: "No. lass, no! Tom must stay to­ night to take care of the show." "But you'll not keep him to-morrow night, Mr. Dunkley, sir--you'll not keep to-morrow:" , "•'Nay, lass! I'll not keep him to-inor row." row. It was exactly thirty years after the fatal accident--in the August of 1885-- that a party of young fellows who had come over with a cricket team to play a match against the famous Minchstead Club strolled down to the fair in the evening on the lqokout for a little amusement. Some betook themselves to one show, some to another. Three or four went into Dunkley's world-re­ nowned shooting gallery. One of them, a good-looking, merry young fellow of about 20, seemed to attract Daft Bet's attention as he went by, for she sudden­ ly fixed her great, hollow eyes upon him and followed him into the gallery with an eager glance. By and by she went up to the doorkeeper. "Just let me in. I want to speak to Tom." she said, coaxingly. "Nay. Bet." said the man, with more kindness than might have been expect­ ed from his rough appearance. "You cannot come in now, lass. Tom's busy. He has no time to be speaking to you." "Do let me in, there's a dear," she persisted, earnestly. The doorkeeper shook his head. "I mussen, lass," he said decidedly. "Oh, there is Mr. Dunkley!" she cried. "Let me ask Mr. Dunkley. Mr. Dunkley. sir!" , Amos was standing near the entrance. .He turned round at the sound of his name, and Bet preferred her request to him. & "Mr. Dunkley. sir;*let me come in for a minute to speak to Tom," she plead­ ed. "Tom's busy, lass," said Amos, using the same excuse as the doorkeeper had done. "He can't be spared from his work at present." "But let ine just conie in and wait inside till he is ready to speak to me," cried Bet. clasping her hands. "Oh, do let me, Mr. Dunkley, sir!" Amos Dunkley was a soft-hearted man. He had always been very kind to Bet. and it went against him to re­ fuse her this small and easily granted favor, hy which, moreover, the poor, mad creature seemed to set such store. "Well, lass, if you do come inside," he said, "you must just stand still and wait patiently. We cannot have busi­ ness interfered with, you know." "Oh. Mr. Dunkley, sir, I'll be as good as gfild. I'll stand inside and nev move or speak till Tom is ready. May­ be I shall see Tom when I'm inside?" she added with half wistful inquiry in her tone. No. no, lass; you'll not see him. He's busy at the back," said Amos Dunkley. "But I'll see him when he's done, Mr Dunkley, sir?" "Oh. yes, Bet. You'll see him when he's done," S}ie Came inside the gallery and stood quietly in 'a corner. Her eyes roapied about the' tent until they fell upon the young man already mention­ ed, and on. him they remained fixed. She followed all his movements eagf-r- ly. Never for a second did she allow her gaze to wander from hint Now she seemed to be growing agitated. Sl^£ could not stand still. She was twisting both her hands in a corner of her apron, then untwisting them, and John Cliinaraan Had It Arranged Be­ fore He Perpetrated the Crime, Col. A. T. Vogelsang, the attorney,, is regarded as one of the best- raconteurs ot the legal profession. In the Palace grillroom yesterday he let out a string of anecdotes. He said that a few weeks ago Dennis Spencer, the Napa lumin­ ary, was called upon by a Chinaman one evening, when the following dia­ logue ensued: " 'One Chinaman kill another China­ man with a hatcliet; how much you charge make him clear?' " Til take the-.case,' said Mr. Spencer, for $1,000.' " 'Allee right,' said the Chinaman, 'I be back after while.' 'In about a week lie returned to Mr. Spencer's office and laid down $1,000 in gold coin on his table. Mr. Spencer swept the money Into the drawer. " - Well, the Chinaman, he dead.' " 'Who killed hini?' " 'I did.' " 'When did you kill him?' " 'Last night.' There was some curiosity on the part of the audience for further light on the disposition of the $1,000, but Mr. Vogel­ sang immediately spun off on to an­ other story.--San Francisco Call, (The Comical little Critter Mokes Lots of Trouble. " ' "Speaking of monkeys," said thfc old showman^ "we had about thirty of them once in a big cage with a shelf along each side, up high, for them to lie on, and a little dead tree with the ends of the branches sawed off stand­ ing in the middle for them to clirbb up to the shelves by, and to hang on to by their tails if they wanted to. One day we set in on the bottom of the cage/a champagne bottlo fillejl with very^klgh- ly fermented root beer, and with the cork held in with a cord tied (with a bow knot. ---• - , ' . "The monkeys got upon the shelves and up in the stumpy tree and looked down on this bottle very suspiciously; finally their curiosity got tlie better of them, and they came down and moved around the bottle to inspect St. At last they got near enough to touch it and handle it, and finally they upset it on its side.. Then one of the monkeys be­ gan pulling on the string, with the rest nil clustered around. At last he pulled the knot loose, and bang went the cork and away went the beer. "The first rush of It kuocked over three or four of the monkeys nearest the muzzle of the bottle, and it drench­ ed half a dozen of them and wet all of them more or less, for it went through, the bUncli of monkeys like a puff of smoke, spatteringand flying iu all direc­ tion?. An instant later the monkeys were tip the tree and lying along on. the shelves; there, was nothing left on the floor of the cage but the empty bottle. \ • - • .. - "A number of times after that we set bottles of beer otit in the sun to ferment, and then set them in the cage, but the monkeys never would touch them. We could set the bottles in, but we couldn't make the monkej's pull the string. "There was a lady standing in front of the cage one day who had on a hat with a big bunch of red cherries and a lot of flowers on the top of it. A mon­ key reached through the bars and grab­ bed the cherries. The lady pulled back, but the monkey held on and pulled the hat off and tried to drag it through the bars into the cage. Three or four other visitors standing pear rushed up and grabbed the hat, and they pulled one way while the monkey pulled the other. They finally got the hat away from the monkey and returned it to the lady. The cherries were about all gone, and what there was left of the rest of the hat really wasn't of much account. The lady said she would have to be paid for the hat, and She made for the box office. " 'Why. certainly,' said the man in the box office. "How much do you val­ ue the#iat?^ 'Five dollars,' the lady said, and the box office man handed out the money. "The lady smiled; she was evidently pleased. 'I didn't really expect you would pay for it,' she said, and she turned to go away. 'Madam.' said the man in fhe box office, and the lady turned around. «'We'll take the liat now, if you please.' l'What!' said the lady. '(The hat, if you please,' said the box-office man. 'We've paid for it, and we would like to have it.' Of course, the lady couldn't go away without a hat, and the upshot of it was that she returned the $5 and went away with the liat. "Standing in front of the cage one day was a man who had on a pair of gold spectacles. A monkey reached through and took the spectacles off the man's nose. The man was greatly sur­ prised at this, but he was a grent deal more surprised when he saw the mon­ key, still standing close by him, push the glasses ont of the frame and put them in his mouth and stow them away, one in each cheek, and then pro­ ceed to twist the frames up, like so much wire, into a small bunch. One of our men went Into the cage and choked the monkey until he got the glasses ont of his mouth, and then he got the frame away from him and we returned them to the owner. Of course, they were not of much use to him in that shape, but it was the best we could do."--New York Sun. Not a Barber. When the professor came into the club yesterday afternoon his erudite countenance was ornamented at sev­ eral points with sticking plaster, and there was a general inquiry among his friends as to what wras the matter. "Razor," said the professor, briefly. "Great Caesar! wrhere did you get shaved?" asked young Itounder, sympa theticaliy. "It's a strange thing," said_ the pro­ fessor. "I was shaved this morning 'tly a man who really is, I suppose, a little above being a barber. I know of my own knowledge that he is an alumuu& of one of the leading American colleges; that'lie studied in Heidelberg afterward, and spent several years in other foreign educational centers. I know, also, of my own knowledge, that.he has contributed scientific arti­ cles to our best magazines, and has numbered among his intimate friends men of. the.highest social and scientific standing in Europe and America. And yet," soliloquized the professor, "he can't shave a man decently." "By Jove!" exclaimed young Round­ er, in astonishment. "What is lie a i barber for with all those accomplisli- ments?" Qh, he isn't a barber," said the pro­ fessor. yawning. "You see, I shaved' myself tills morning."--New York Jour­ nal. _ How Old Is This Tree? An almost perfect cedar tt'ee Was dis­ covered buried at a depth of 170 feet the surface of the earth near Eu- Wasli., by well diggers last week. Largo pieces of the trunk and branches were taken out, and so well preserved was the tree that the grain of the wood was very plain. The well was dug through soft soil and soapstone and a little basaltie rock near the surface. Appalling Facts. At the great naval battle off the Yalu River last year the Chinese iron-clad battle-ship, Chen Yuen, was command­ ed by an American, named Philo Mc- Griffen, a graduate of the Naval Acad­ emy at Annapolis. Capt. McGriffen, who has but lately recovered in part from injuries received in this already historic battle, gives many strikingly Interesting details illustrative of the terrible nature of a modern naval en­ gagement between iron-clads. In a re cent conversation he said: "You can form little conception of the awful character of battle inside armor- plated steam-vessels, where space and air are necessarily much restricted and confined. The din made by the impact of heavy projectiles against the thick metal sides is frightful beyond descrip­ tion, and seems to shake one's very life, I wore cotton in both ears, but am still somewhat deaf. "As the Japanese war-ships were faster than the Chen Yuen, we made all steam possible to secure speed for our evolutions. From being so closely shut the engine-room and fire-room became Intolerably hot; yet the engineers and stokers stuck to their posts, even after the temperature rose ,to 200 degrees Fahrenheit! The skin of their hands | and arms was actually roasted, and nearly every man became blind from the searing of the outer membrane of the eye. "One of the enemy's rapid-fire gun- shells struck an 'open gun-shield early in the flght, and glanced down through the port; seven gunners were killed and fifteen disabled by that one projectile. "Very soon I noticed that the Maxim gun up in the foretdp on our military mast was silent, and saw a hole in the by the blow;. I was not aware that any fragment of^hetghiai"or ai'gior atgack me, but my clothing was rent to tatters by the detonation or concussion, • as It seemed." » Capt. McGriffien adds: "Despite much which has been said of the cowardice of the Chinese soldiers and sailors, I gladly bear testimony that the tnOst ot my crew aboard the Chen Yuen were as brave and faithful as is possible for men to be." Pasteur and the Shepherd Boy. j The recent death of Lotiia Pasteur, and the extraordinary honors paid to his memory by both the Government and the people of France, recall tho story of the shepherd boy, Jean Bap- tiste Jupllle, whose statue stands in front of the Pasteur Institute. Jupillo was bitten by a rabid dog in July, 1885. At that time Pasteur's discovery of a means of curing, or preventing, hydro­ phobia by a system of Inoculation was a new tiling, and young Japille w^as one of the first patients to whom it was ap­ plied. He recovered? and was after­ ward employed as an attendant in tho hospital established by Pasteur, and has remained there ever since. - His statue was erected not. merely as a memento of his cure by the new method, but also-because there was a heroic element in his adventure with the dog. Jupllle himself told the story in a modest manner to those who, out of curiosity, sought him just after Pas­ teur's death. It was a holiday In the little village of Villers-Farlay in the Jura Mountains, where young Jupille lived, and the chil­ dren had wandered out into the sur­ rounding fields. Suddenly a mad dog made its appearance in a group who were playing near the spot where Ju­ pille was watching his flock. The little ones fled crying, with the rabid animal at their heels. Jupille saw their peril, and having luckily a piece of whipcord in his hand, sprang upon the dog. Disregarding tho wounds which its teeth Inflicted he succeeded in binding the beast fast, and then with one of his wooden shoes he beat out its brains. His hands were terribly lacerated, and the nails were torn from his thumbs--but he had saved the children. The news of Pasteur's discovery had fortunately reached the ears of tho Mayor of the Commune, and he in­ stantly telegraphed to the great savant In Paris. Pasteur had the boy sent to the capital, inoculated him with the antirabic virus he had invented, and saved him as he had saved the children. Jupille, who is now about 20 years of age, was one of the siricerest. mourners at the funeral of his.benefactor. His name will always be remembered in connection with one of the greatest physiological discoveries of modern, times. The Pleasure of Giving. The Great Teacher; who said "It is more blessed to give than receive," knew that the man- of business feels .in. intense pleasure in making money. He also knew that the pleasure,, though both intellectual and emotional, has no relation to man's higher nature. It is made up of the satisfaction of success, the consciousness of power, the joy of outstripping rivals, and the delight of "heaping up riches." But there is not a spiritual thrill In the process, from tho investment of the flrst dollar to tho clipping of thousands of coupons. Tho following anecdote con^rms the Mas­ ter's maxim: At a dinner party in Baltimore many, years ago, at which were present among tne guests George Peabody and Johns Hopkins, some one inquired: "Which did you enjoy most, Mr. Pea- body, making your money or giving it away?" "Well," answered Mr. Peabody, slow­ ly, and Johns Hopkins was observed to be deeply interested in the answer, "I enjoyed making money. I think it is a great pleasure to make money. And when the idea was flrst suggested to me that I should give money away, it did not please me at all. In fact, it dis­ tressed me. But I thought the matter over, and concluded I'd try it on a small scale. "So I built the first of the model tene­ ment houses In London. It was a hard pull; but after it was done I went around among the poor people living iu the rooms, so clean and comfortable, and I had quite a new feeling. I en­ joyed it very much. So I gave some more, and the feeling increased. And now I can truly say that; much as I enjoyed making money, I enjoyed giv­ ing It away a great deal better." It would be a gratification to know whether this answer suggested to Mr. Hopkins the endowment of the Johns Hopkins University. FAR TOO FAITHFUL. British Admiral's Pedometer Was . Soon Placed on the Retired List. One of her majesty's cruisers lay at anchor in the harbor of Havana, and the temperature of that port in July was not conducive to persistent activ- ity-rGn the part of the junior watch of­ ficers, at any rate. In fact, a comfort­ able armchair seemed exactly to fit the exigencies of the watch, after the cap­ tain and the admiral had turned In. One morning the mail brought a Bmail square box to the admiral, and that evening he gave a small round instru­ ment, resembling a timepiece, to tho junior watch officer, saying: , "Mr. Marline, carry this with you on your watch, and pass it along to your relief with similar instructions." Marline put the machine in his pocket and commenced to stroll to and fro un­ til the admiral retired. Then he stretched himself out in his chair, and, lighting a cigarette, began to watch the lights go out, one by one, on shore. Next morning Lieutenants Marline, Mainhold and Lazarette stood before the admiral. ;A . >; "Gentlemen," said that officer, stern- ly, "I have examined this little instru­ ment, which you tell me was carried by you three gentlemen in succession on your respective watches, and I am astonished to find that, although I set it at zero last evening, it now records only two and a half miles. Gentlemen; I do not propose to condemn you on the unsupported testimony of a pedometer, and I must confess that, knowing you to be ambitious and diligent officers, I am loath to trust an apparent record so far below the actual requirement. However, ! shall ask you to carry the Instrument ( again to-morrow evening. Gentlemen, you are excused." Lieutenant Mainhold had the first watch that evening and as soon as the admiral had gone to his cabin he seat­ ed himself in the armchair and ordered Midshipman Ratline to appear before him. "Ratline," said the lieutenant, "when you went ashore to-day you absented yourself without permission for an hour." "Aye, aye, slr.^ "You doubtless imagined1 tliat I in­ tended to overlook your offense." "I hoped so, sir." "Not at all. You must take this in­ strument and shake it violently for four hours and I shall .say no- more about it.'r The morning after the same three of­ ficers again stood before the admiral. "Gentlemeni," said lie,. "I fear I l»ave misjudged you. I find, on examining the pedometer this morning, that it re­ cords a distance of eighty-fiVe miles, walked by you three gentlemen in: three hours. It is evident that the machine is utterly worthless," and a sharp' splash, was heard /as the pedometer struck the limpid water of the bay. "Gentlemen. }-ou are excused."--Pear­ son's Weekly. Material for Good Roads. There is a way, however, in which this county can get good roads with­ out much expense. Our Onondaga hills contain thousands' of cubic feet of good stone. Our jail and penitentiary contain hundreds of idle riien whom the taxpayers are supporting. Brifig these idle men and some of these blocks of stone together. Let them pound out repentance for their misdeeds and a fair compensation fbr the expense they are causing the State. Now that con­ vict labor of the usual kind is to be abolished by law, provision should be made for making every able'bodied ill- mate of a penitentiary or jai]/pound stone for the public* roads.--Syracusf Post. ;x,: \ Killed by a Spider's Bite Harry Moore, a well-known Mary­ land farmer, living nejq.- Redd's Corner Prince George County, Md., wasa bitten by a spider on Wednesday morning and died yesterday from the effects of the bite. Wednesday morning Moore was at his woodpile collecting wood. A large spider ran across his hands and ran Inside his clothes. Moore felt tho sharp sting, but nothing was thought of It at the time. Soon" after tlie flesh ground the bite began to swell and Dr. Warren w*as called In. He could do nothing, however, and the swelling ex­ tended until early yesterday morning, when death resulted. Moore was over (JO years of age--Exchange. Only Two of Them Left. With the exception of Morrill, of Vermont, and Sherman, of Ohio, the great men with whom Mr. Thurman was associated in the Senate have pass­ ed away. His death recalls the giants with whom he served. Sumner, Wade, Wilson, Trumbull, Conkling, Seward and the long line of American states­ men with whose name Mr. Thurman's i ta written at the head of the proudest Emperor and Dumplings. An anecdote which was current of Ferdinand I. 'of Austria at one time greatly delighted his subjects, and gave rise to a common saying. One summer day lie was hunting in the Styrlan Mountains, and was overtaken by a violent thunderstorm. He soUglit refuge in a farmhouse whose occupants were just then at dinner, and his fancy was caught by some smoking dump­ lings, made of coarse flour. He tasted them, liked them anu asked for more, and When he got back to Vienna, to the horror of the royal cooks, he ordered the same dumplings to be served up daily. The courtiers were scandalized that such a coarse dish should figure on tho menu, and even his physicians remon­ strated against the use of such food. The Emperor had always been the most pliant of men, but he now showed that he had a will of his own, and per­ sisted in gratifying his new fancy, Finally the physicians pretended that it vvas dangerous to his health to be living on dumplings, and insisted on his giving them up. The hitherto docile sovereign stamp­ ed his foot, and declared that he would never sign another official document If his diet were denied him. "Emperor I am," he shouted, "and dumplings I will have." To prevent a stoppage of the Govern­ ment machinery opposition was with drawn, and his Majesty clung tena­ ciously to his dumpling? Then the imperial phrase became pr overbial, and thereafter, when any one insisted on gratifying a- silly whim, some one- was sure t<r:6a3ft- "Emperor I am, and dumplings I wifli have!"' Can- She Ever Beign iu Bussia r The birth of the little Grand Duchess Olga, of Russia,, raises a rather curious point as to her precedence. According t° the law of 1707, the daughter of a Czar n^'y^horit his crown if she have no brother. It so happens, however, that since the accession of the house of Romanoff no first-born child of the reigning sovereign lias been a daughter, so that there is no actual precedent. A further difficulty is created by the fact that Nicholas II-, when he sue ceeded his father last year, Issued a ukase whereby he settled on bis broth­ er George the title of Tsesarevitch, un­ til a son should be born of his mar­ riage with Princess Alix of Hesse. " Buffaloes Help Each Other. When an African buffalo is wounded by a hunter it is surrounded by several others, who immediately group them­ selves round him and help hifcu along in tlieii' midst by shoving against his side until they have reached a place of safety. _ , New Wisconsin Bird. *A new bird lias been added to tlie list of those found in Wisconsin. . It la named the scissor-tailed flycatcher^ armor-plating around it After the bat­ tle the officer and six men stationed there were found dead, shockingly mangled, all destroyed by a single shelf from a rapid-fire gun. "Late in the action, after my hair haff been burned off and my eyes so Impair­ ed by injected blood that I could see out of but one of them, and then only by lifting the lid with my fingers, it Be­ came necessary for, me to observe for piyself the position of the enemy's «hips. As I groped my way around the protected deck, with one liiind on the In­ side.of the aruior-platingr^hundred- pound shell struck and came through it about a foot and a half from where my hand rested. - ' "In an instant my hand was ho burnt epoch in the history States Senate. of the United Count Tolstoi on a Wheel. Count Leo Tolstoi, the famous Rus­ sian author, Is an enthusiastic bicy­ clist. So great a devotee of the wheel has he become that his daughters, fear­ ing that the strain will prove too much for him, have also purchased wheels and accompany him on his trips to look after him, •• Tolstoi is now 67 and is a tireless worker. An Error. "I want to pay this bill," he said to the hotel clerk. "But I think you have made a slight error here in my favor. I've been reading over the extras, and I cannot find that you have charged me that much of the skin stuck to the metal j anything for telling mo y6u thought It plate--from the sudden heat engendered J might rain." S3'" An AwfnJ Confession.:" State Railroad Commissioner O'Doti" nel, of New York, said recently, in a public address, the following words: 'We have the reputation of having the poorest roads of any State in the Un­ ion, notwithstanding our annual road tax, not including cities and villages, in 1894 was over $3,000,000. Including villages, which properly are classified as part of the rural districts, the tax in round numbers is over $4,500,000. Over one-half of this is paid in cash, and the balance In pretended highway work. If this large annual tax were all paid in tax, it would equal the en­ tire State tax paid in 1894 for educa­ tional purposes,, including ' common schools, academies, colleges and univer­ sities. It exceeds by over $1,000,000 tlin annual tax for the support of asylums, hospitals^ reformatories, soldiers' homes and State prisons. Assuming that the State has paid the same an­ nual road tax every year since the building of the Erie canal, the total sum would have built the enlarged Erie canal and a steel track highway on every r0ad in the State, and left a surplus in the treasury. For all this enormous outlay wre have nothing to show, except the old mud and dirt roads of our ancestors, and not as good as they were twenty-five years ago." And there are other States in tin; same boat. The good roads move­ ment should have started fifty yea i d ago. A Frightful Compound. Fulminate of mercury, which is used by European anarchists in the manu­ facture of their bombs, is one of tlie most treacherous and powerful explo­ sives kuowu to science. Heretofore it has been employed in percussion caps and as u detonator for nitre-glycerine preparations. It explodes wrhen sub­ jected to a slight shock or to heat, ami not a few eJtpert chemists since its En­ glish inventor. Howard, have been se­ riously injured or killed while prepar­ ing it or experimenting with it. In France some years ago the cele­ brated chemist, Barruel, was manipu­ lating this dangerous product in a heavy agate mortar when his attention was suddenly distracted, and he let the pestle down with a little less care tha» ordinary. The explosion which follow­ ed almost literally blew the mortar in­ to dust and it tore Barruel's hand from his wrist. Another distinguished chem­ ist, Beiot, was blinded and had both hands torn off while experimenting with fulminate of mercury. Justin I.e loy, a French expert, in the manufac­ ture of explosives, was one day engag­ ed in experimenting with this com­ pound in a damp state, in which condi­ tion it was supposed to be harmless. It exploded with such force, however, that nothing of M. Leroy that was rec­ ognizable could afterward be found. An English chemist named Hennell, while manufacturing a shell for mili­ tary use, into the composition of wlllch fulminate of mercury entered, was also blown literally to atoms, and the frag­ ments of the building where he was conducting his experiments were scat­ tered for hundreds of feet in every di­ rection.--New York World. Masks. Masks were ordinary articles of fe­ male costume in England previous to the reign of Queen Elizabeth. The whole mask, covering the entire face, was held between the teeth by means of a round bead fastened on the in­ side. White half masks, with chin- cloaks--i. e., cliiii-clotlies or mufflers- were in fashion as late as the Com­ monwealth. During the reign of Queen Anne and the first half of the last cen­ tury masks were still used by ladies in riding, and were worn appended to the waist by a string. . .. ? Sealing No Longer Bays. '• Although tlie Sealers' Association of Vancouver passed a unanimous resolu­ tion a few weeks ago not to send out any sealing schooners until next Au­ gust, nearly all the vessels are now fitting out to start on a cruise as is customary at this time. Only one schooner made expenses last year, but all are going to try it again this year. It was stated some weeks ago that most of the San Francisco sealing schooners had actually gone into other business, some being at that time out­ ward bound with general cargoes for southern ports, while others were fit­ ting out to go otter hunting. The Longest Lived Animals. It is generally agreed among natural­ ists that the tortoise is the longest lived of all animals. There are many in­ stances of them attaining tlie extraor­ dinary age of 250 years, while one is actually mentioned as reaching the un­ paralleled age 6f 403 years. Notwith­ standing these examples, which, of course, are exceptionally rare, the or­ dinary tortoise only lives, on an„aver- age, from 100 to 150 -years. The World's Eighth Wonilpr. The Esctirlal,<&e. palace of tttf Spaity ish kings, is seventy feet from north i<i south, 580 feet ftfcm east to west, with\ square towers at each corner 200 feet high. Within are the palace proper, a cathedral, a monastery with 200 cells, two colleges, three chapter houses, three libraries and nearly 3,000 othec rooms. It is lighted with 1,100 outer and 1,780 inner windows, and has been fitly termed the eighth wonder o1 tlw world. To Improve Purs. ' Furs will look much improved if they are cleansed wKtli bran heated in the oven. Rub the hot bran well into the fur with a piee.*1 of flannel, then shako the fur to remove all particles, and brush thoroughly. Fur collars that have become soiled from rubbing against the hair may be made to look like new by using hot bran on them. Apply the bran a second time if the fin is badly soiled. . - ' -</• , The De Courcys. Once upon a time the De Gourcy fam­ ily was one of the noblest and most powerful In France. The motto of their coat-of-arms was, "I am no King; I dis­ dain being a Duke; I am De Courcy." The last descendant died recently; he .was one of the street-sweepers of Paris,