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PLAINDEALER J. VAN SLYKE, Editor and Pub. 11SNRY. ILLINOIS No more long-distance continuous "bi­ cycle races in America. Let us be as kind to man as we are to the brutes. And now two 70-year-old lovers in •York State have put in their little fifty sketch by way of an elopement. Next! Congress seems determined that henceforth Cupid should pay court to the pensioner himself instead of the pension. - When a young couple are persistently peen on a tandem, even on cold days, it doesn't need the bell on the handle­ bar to suggest a ring. before Constantinople la the spring OS 1878, he sent two teSegrams to St. Pe» , tersburg, one reporting the state of the army, the other somewhat in the fol­ lowing language: "My army is in sight of the minarets of St. Sophia; we can take the city with the loss of 7,000 men." To the first he received the usual acknowledgment; to the second there came no reply. It was by* this under­ stood that the Emperor did not sanc­ tion the enterprise, for It would have been a breach of his pledge to Europe. In the army there was great disappoint­ ment, and more than one of the Rus­ sian generals, Skobeleff at their head,' expressed thefr auger so forcibly that the Russian army was withdrawn and put beyond the reach of temptation. But the feeling remained in every man's mind that the next time a Rus­ sian army ) came to Constantlnoph would be to stay. If a, mmt I seem to be coming into vogue, ladies who bring pies securing free admission. No life insurance pro­ vision is as yet attached to the move­ ment, The women of Kansas still continue to hold the balance of power in secur­ ing all the lucrative offices in the State. This is equal suffrage for women, with a surplus m the treasury thrown in. South Carolina shows a record of 200 murders a year. Whether this includes the negro lately said to have been burn­ ed at the stake, and others disposed of by lynchers, is best known in this state of peace and security. A cablegram from London sajs that "Andree is probably in winter quarters somewhere." This, we believe, will go far to convct the popular impression that Andree is now enjoying himself at Bome summer resort. A distinguished palmist having pro­ fessionally examined the hand of "Tess," the educated Chicago chimpan­ zee, reports that he has "much more intelligence than any person he has ever seen confined in a lunatic asylum." "Tess" might well resent so doubtful a compliment. Spain's offer of autonomy to Cuba re­ calls Dean Richmond's famous re­ sponse when asked if the New York Central freight cars could be painted some other color than the one in vogue. "You can paint them cars any d---d color you like," said he, "so long as you paint 'em red." Spain says that Cuba can have as much self-government as she likes, provided that she is govern­ ed in accordance With Spain's wishes. The Prince of Monaco, who takes a lively interest in deep-sea researches, has been taking soundings between the Cape Verde Islands and the Azores. From a depth of more than 2,900 fath­ oms, a little more than three miles am! a quarter, his trap brought up a pecu­ liar amphipod--a member of the shrimp family--measuring nearly four and a :hird Inches in length, with many small­ er ones. It had been supposed, from the Challenger's submarine discover­ ies, that no such form of sea-lif* could exist at a greater depth than 2,750 fath­ oms. afoteaife u< sia, Ar- coun tries brought about the on in farm products ow prices. The cheap labor itainq.ble in some of these countries cannot be. duplicated in the United States, and If American farmers would offset this serious disadvantage they must devise better methods, cater to the hone market, and wherever possi­ ble raise the . bar of ocean tonnage against foreign competitors.:' The Uni­ ted States annually consumes sugar and its manufactures to the value of something like $120,000,000, three- fourths of which is imported, the pro­ ceeds going mainly to the beet and cane growers of other countries. Here Is an opportunity for the" farmers of the Northern and Western States, in many of which sugar beets grow to perfec­ tion. Practical experiments have al­ ready been made in some sections, no­ tably in Nebraska and California, With results that could not be more promis­ ing. About 40,000 tons of beet sugar was produced in this country last year, considerably more will be produced this, and there is scarcely a limit to the expansion of the industry. We have millions of acres of soil peculiarly adapted to tfhe sugar beet, enough, If utilized, to supply ourselves and the rest of mankind with sugar. Any two or three of a dozen States might easily produce enough sugar to supply our own wants and turn the balance of for­ eign trade largely and perpetually in our favor. Co-operation on a scale of some magnitude is necessary. First, an ample supply of beets within.a small radius must be assured; then a manu­ factory to reduce the product, costing $200,000 to $250,000, Is required. But these things, wherever profitable, ought to be within easy reach of American means and enterprise. The benefits to other Industries and to the country as a whole would be great. Every ton of sugar beets grown at home Is so much taken from the increasing acreage sown iu grain, BU muCii ueuuCteu ffwii the competition of overgrown crops and from the bills to be settled abroad. The only way election bribery will ever be stopped 1 si/through the treat­ ment of it as a full-fledged crime, and not as a thing to be winked at. So long as the jail and the penitentiary do not distinctly stare the briber and bribed In the face, both parties will carry it on, and it will be condoned in both as a measure of self-defense. If civilized society had treated killing in the same way as we now treat bribery we should all be still carrying our lives in our hands, each man being a law unto him­ self. The gladiatorial displays of ancient Rome have their modern successors in the long bicycle and walking contests of to-day. These contests, after the first two or three days, degenerate into exhibitions of self-torture, repulsive and degrading because carried on for mere pecuniary gain and not for any object worthy of such a sacrifice. It would be as sensible and inspiring to watch a man slowly skin himself alive or gradually pull all his teeth out as to see him little by little and hour by hour wreck his nervous system and drive himself into the condition of a driveling Idiot. The traffic through the Sault Ste. Marie canal has been very large the past season. The report for the year up to Oct. 1 shows the effect of the en­ largement of the locks at the Sault and the work done on the lake channels elsewhere. The number of vessels passed through the canal was 13,156, or 1,894 less than for the corresponding period in 189G, but the total freight car­ ried, 13,589,183 tons, showed an in­ crease of 795,742 tons. The most im­ portant single item of freight carried is iron ore, which this year amounted to 8,589,702 tons, the largest shipments ever reported at a corresponding date, and 1,777,937 tons more than In 1896. Coal carried was 1,507,993 tons, or 835,- 329 tons less than last year; but this de­ crease was due to the long strike of the miners, which seriously interfered with the lake trade. All the wars that have been waged by Russia againsit the Turks have, so far as the soldiers of the Russian army were concerned, had a religious inspira­ tion, says Harper's Round Table. The idea that the cross will again take the place of the crescent on the sUmmit of the dome of the great mosque of St Sophia at Constantinople is firmly Im­ planted in the mind of every Russian. Ana just as firmly he believes that it is the mission of Russia to plant it there Every Russian regards it as the mani­ fest destiny of his country, and though the day when Russian hands will tear away the crescent and substitute the cross may be delayed, he is convinced tiat it is only a question of time when tiie voice of the muezzin from the mln «ret calling the faithful to prayer will , le heard for the last time. When the Russian army, uwder the command of > Grand Dutye Nicholas, the brother Alexander II., arrived Quite recently the papers told of a sad accident in New York City that ended the life of little 2-year-old Rob­ ert Smith. His father had bought a new revolver and his mother was ex­ amining it. Her children gathered about her, and little Robert called out, Shoot me, mamma!" She, supposing it was empty, pulled the trigger twice and It did not explode. The children applauded as she repeated the perform­ ance, but this time It exploded, and the little fellow dropped with a bullet in his brain. The agonized mother picked the little fellow up and fled Into the street. He was taken to a hospital, and soon died. Can you imagine the agony of that mother who accuses herself of having killed her own child; the re­ morse of that father for having brought the revolver into the house? Accidents like the one told are not an uncommon occurrence. We undoubtedly have far too many guns and revolvers In the country and far too little care and cau­ tion in handling them. Whenever I meet one of these youngsters in the street or highway carrying even the most innocent-looking gun and hunting for something to Shoot at, I hurry to get out of reach. Indeed, I have a hor­ ror of firearms of any kind as handled ordinarily by the average person. It is true that boys like to shoot and hunt. But in our civilized, thickly settled com­ munities, where people are not any more on the defensive against danger­ ous enemies, and where but little game is left, and that game more worthy of preserving than of destroying, shoot­ ing is a dangerous and unnecessary pas­ time for youngsters. It is a bad prac­ tice and a mistake to indulge our chil­ dren in it Why arouse and cultivate their murderous Instincts? Why allow them to kill every innocent creature around them, and to make sad havoc among the birds of our forests and meadows? Why endanger their own and the neighbors' lives by the careless­ ness with which firearms are handled by young people? Surely, before we al­ low a woman or boy to handle a gun or revolver we should drill them in fefae proper use of such weapons, and feel confident they are fully alive to the dangers connected with the use of fire­ arms. AMERICAHJjOLLAND. DIKES IN THE STATE. OF WASHING­ TON, TO PROTECT THE LAND. The Horses Wear Mud Shoes When Plow­ ing and the Soil is Tremendously Rich- Tide Gates Along the Sea Shore. In this great western country there is so much wild land, w lions of acres of soil have the touch of^the ploughmal or the Keen edge of the woodma It does not seem that it woul essary to reclaim lan to obtain acres for that has been < County, ern ____ in the uilt to keep k overflows of the , the largest stream that es into the sound. This is the veritable Holland of Washington. In Skagit county are situated the famous Swinomish flats, the Braver marsh, the Olympic marsh and the Samlsh flats, all surrounded by dikes ranging in height from 2 to 15 feet. There are tide gates along the sea shore which act automatically, and which drain the land so perfectly that crops are raised on land below the sea level with safety. And such crops! For ages the big river has been bringing down the hills the richest sediment, and there is really no bottom to the soil. If a farmer in the East plows a little tpo deep he turns up clay or P&faks; if the Beaver marsh rancher holds his plow handle too high he simply digs up more of the rich loam that raises every year without fail such crops that the old ranchers of other sections cannot believe the stories. One hundred and twenty-five bushels of oats to the acre, a ton and a half of hops or five tons of hay, are common yields WhileC-all sorts of root crops give equally large results. In order ttTplow his land, which, of course, is solf and spongy, the ranch­ ers often put "tuley" shoes on their horses, the shoes consisting of wide, wooden blocks, to prevent the animals from sinking into the loam. There are at present eight diking, districts in the county, and nearly every ranch of any size is in one or another of these districts. Fully 100 miles of dikes are iu use in the county, and many of them are used also as roads. Very picturesque are these em­ bankments, in many places, as they wind around through the trees. When the Skagit is having a freshet the peo­ ple turn out to watch their dikes, and by repairing them, save their lands from inundation. Sometimes a very high tide will go over a dike and cover a number of ranches with salt water. If the water does not stand too long, this does no particular damage. As there is nothing but sand and black loam to construct the dikes of, no permanent work has ever been done and cannot be until the river is so im­ proved that it has a reasonably straight channel to the sea. Five or six forks or mouths discharge the'water into the sound, and the delta thus formed is excellent farming land. If the water should be confined to one channel thou­ sands of acres of land would be re­ claimed, arid the danger of overflow reduced to a minimum. By this im­ provement a magnificent navigable riv­ er, teeming with fish and flowing through a wealth of timber and miner- a h1, would be opened up and would lpio»ade employment for countless numbers of people. If any resident of Washington has never seen the verdant fields of the Skagit flats, let him go up' and take a look at them. It will pay him if he wants to know all about the resources of his state. If he cannot afford to take that trip, and wants to see some of the products of those diked fields, let him go down among the commis­ sion. houses in Seattle and look at the hay and oats which are brought from ;that favored region in steamboat' loads, The only failure of crop ever known there is when the dikes break and the growing grains are ruined with water, --Seattle Post-Intelllgencer. With Regard to Green. It is singular how varied Is the super­ stition regarding the color green in dif­ ferent countries. It is the national color of the Irish, and the imperial green of France is the perpetuation of the royal color of the old Merovingian kings. How different is the sentiment toward the color in Scotland. There It is held in the utmost aversion, If not fear. With some of the clantf, particu­ larly the Caithness men, it is consider­ ed fatal! With this clan the superstition Js alto­ gether born of the results of Flodden field, where the Caithness men wore the color. It Is also considered unlucky by the Ogllvie and Graliame clans, the latter telling a story of an old man wtio was thrown from his horse and killed In a fox chase because he had a green lash in his riding whip. Dramatic. "Barnes'. new comedy Is a sort of horseplay, eh?" "Yes; one-horse."--Indianapolis Jour­ nal. v ' . 4Though leligious people claim that Providence is responsible for ah acci­ dent, it doesn't prevent them from su­ ing tlvi railroad. Household Econohues in France, An article on "French Wives and Mothers," written by Miss Anna L. Bicknell, appears in the Century. The author says: The pot-au-feu, or meat soup, is in fact a festive riieal; more often the mother has made soup with dry crusts soaked in the water which has boiled vegetables, and the -addition of pea pods or some such delicacy. If they live near the Halles Centrales, or prin­ cipal markets, the mother goes there late in the afternoon and looks out for articles of food which would not bear a day's delay, and pounces upon these because they are sold at any price. In the case of old bachelors or widows, "lone and mrn," who are not sb expert at bargaining, there is the characteristic resource of what are called technically les bijoux, namely, the remnants sold by cooks of large establishments and by first class res- aurants. These are collected from door to door, and tumbled together In no very appetizing fashion; but the retailer sorts and arranges the various articles, which are then properly adorned (pares), scraped, and cut Ihto neat pieces, nicely garnishfed, and set out on clean plates. Customers who are brave enough to forget the antecedents of such dainties may thus purchase for a trifle portions of the choicest game or the best fish served on high class ta­ bles, with many other delicacies of tempting appearance. Many old ren­ tiers, so call, living in garrets, and sunning themselves all day on benches in the public gardens, where they talk politics with their fellows, get really good dinners in this way. ' Sagacious Wolves. Everybody knows what formidable foes a pack of wolves may become, but just how sagacious an enemy a wolf can prove himself is not as we)l ap­ preciated. It is not an easy task to rid a ranch of such pests, as kn in­ stance lately given in-the Macleod Gaz­ ette sufficiently proves. A colt belonging to a Mr. Warnock having died, its owner thought to make use Of It In clearing off a few wolves. He accordingly took ten strychnine tab­ le's and inserted them carefully in various parts of the body, which he left to be a prey to the marauding beasts. . r . For two days Mr, Warnock abstained from going near the spot, but when he did go he expected to find some execution had been done. To his stjr» prise, not a wolf Was to be seen, dead or alive. Not that the colt had been neglected. The skin had been neatly stripped from the body, and nearly every particle of flesh eaten, as well as the ribs and all the smaller bones. The fore and hind legs had been wrenched off at the knee joint and carried some distance, where everything mashable had been properly d. And yet, within a radius of the spot where the colt s not a dead wolf. his sur- colt, _ m he .w, with .hunch f flesh untouCTW^i^pBppll^^tNi :o me hide, ineffl^f^a^ibe flesh were the strychnine tablet. A closer examination showed that every one of the ten pellets had been carefully le,ft alone by the wolves. Every shred of-flesh around the spots where the tablets had been placed was eaten away, but that which enclosed the poison was left. The explanation lay In the fact that Mr. Warnock had, before inserting the pellets, picked them up with his fin­ gers, instead of with a pair ot for­ ceps, as was his custom. The wolves had scented danger. A JOLLY TINNER'S MISHAP. Thia Outcome of His Practical Joke on a Wandering Pig. Theodore Mowen, a Clarksville, (Mo.) tinner, is confined to his home with a broken arm and badly bruised body, as the result of a peculiar accident. One of Theodore's friends called on him to repair a leaking waterspout. The jolly tinner got his ladder and climbed up, carrying his little stove, iron and stick of solder. He proceeded to his work and was making good headway, when a moving object on the ground below caused him to stop. In Clarksville, as in many other country towns, there are numerous pigs 'Walking'the streets and fields, feeding on the surplus provisions of the com­ munity. It happened that when Theo­ dore Mowen was plugging up holes in the damaged spout, one of the numer­ ous family of mud-loving quadrupeds came snorting and wobbling under the ladder. Mowen couldn't resist the temptation to have a little fun. He is a good lover of roast pig: He also -en- joys'a hog race, and nothing delights him more than to^see one of the fat .^nimals putting on speed and uttering shrill cries as he} travels. Consequently, when the pig in ques­ tion sauntered under the ladder, Mow­ en thought it would be a capital joke to drop a bit of molten solder on his back and see how fast he could run and how loud he could yell. He did not notice the direction in which the pig was moving, "I'll just put my iron in the fire, get it red hot, and touch it to the solder, Then I'll let the hot stuff drop on that chunk of grease, Oh, it's a daisy idea," and, suiting the ECtion to hi- thoughts, the joker poked his iron into the stove, got it hot, applied it tg the solder, and a little gtrea of molten metal poured on the animal's back. The pig uttered a piercing squeal and made a dash forward, Mowen laughed loudly enough to perforate the spout with joy. The idea had worked like a charm. The pig hesitated a moment after starting off; then, as if understanding the situation ^perfectly, he walked through tlf -iwer rung of the ladder. His head feuttkrough all right, but his body was too big.- The result was that ladder, Mowen** solder, and pig fell in a heap to the/ground. , The pig Escaped uninjured, but Mowen's arm-was broken, and he sus­ tained severe bruises on the head, face and body. •Friends heard his cries and came toihis assistance. He was picked UP and carried to his home, and his condition is regarded as/gerious. The pig's burns "are not dangerous, and the revengeful creature again is rolling in the mud of Clarksville. Mr. Mowen doesn't think his trouble is any "laughing matter." He has foresworn jpking when engaged at n% trade, and everybody who talks to hirii' about "the pig In the poke and the lad­ der that broke" receives & cold re­ sponse. He bargained for just a little fun, he says, but did not reckon on having his good intention reciprocated. The incident is known in Clarksville as the "pig accident," and the animal that ckused the disturbance has the right of way in every street, field and house in the city.--St. Louis Republic. Steering By Echoes. An interesting peculiarity of Alaskan navigation is thus described by Mr. La Verne W. Noyes in. the Chicago Times- Hei-ald. He extols the beauty of the scenery and the smoothness of the water--by the inland steamer route,-- and says: , The channel is tortuous and full of rocks, and whenever a fog is encoun­ tered, every movement of th® ship is fraught with danger. I was awakened about three o'clock one morning by a long blast of the steamer's whistle, This struck me as unusual," for vessels are rarely met on that trip, and there are comparatively no settlements. A moment later I heard the captain and the pilot on the bridge over my state­ room in a lively colloquy. "I tell you it's right there!" said one of them, excitedly. "It must be, or we'll be on the rocks in a minute!" That was enough for me. I tumbled out of my berth and, half-dressed, rushed on deck, just as the whistle gave another unearthly screech. It seemed to be answered immediately by another whistle near by, and I im­ agined we were meeting a steamer. "What did I tell you?" cried the pi­ lot. "There she is, all right!" After waiting ten, minutes or more, hoping to be able to catch a glance of the strange craft, I accosted the cap­ tain and asked him where the other steamer was. My question nearly gave him an epileptic fit. We had run into a dense fog, and our pilot was guiding us in that crooked channel and among those treacherous rocks by the echoes sent back from the mountains which here and there rise precipitously from the water's edge. Paper Watch. A paper watch has been exhibited by a Dresden watchmaker. The paper Is prepared' in such a manner that the watch is said to be as serviceable as those in ordinary use. ENGLAND'S WHEAT FIELDS. Many of Them Are More Than Ten Cen­ turies Old. ~ Some very competent writers, fright­ ened by the disproportion between the wheat grown in England and the quan­ tity "^needed for our daily bread, have recently urgqjj* the establishment of public granaries. for use in time of war. The only wonder is that the figures which impress tnem have not made more impression on the public. But while hundreds of thousands of houses, let down tot inspection. If n bargain is struck the hair is cut and the money paid on the spot. A woman's hair may grow to the length of B!X feet. A single hair will bear up a weight of four ounces With­ out breaking, but the hair thus heavily tried must be a dark brown, for blonde hair breaks under a strain of two and one-half ounces. Dealers in human hair can tell in a moment whether the locks offered them have been cut off or combed out. [They do this by rubbing the hairs through the fingers. If the hair had acres Of good wheat lands lie'unculti- 0„ -- „-- vated in England, the proposal to-bu?^ been cut from the head and has'riot Jpeen misplaced, it remains^in its origi­ nal ̂ position. If iyfias been pulled or combed out "and put together regard­ less of the direction in which it grew,one portion of it will slip tO the right and the other to the left. It does this be­ cause the jagged edges catch each and pull in opposite directions.-- n Mail. and hoard^ foreign corn is rather too public granaries are England, which ftnd pre- mi two based ^enme^pB gun to apprehend t' ment in great concerns ma uable as public spirit in s But the fact remains that the fields of- England are the oldest na­ tional industries in this conutry, and the most productive in the world. A wheat field a thousand years old is quite a common sight in this country. Of course, it has not grown a crop of corn every year in the ten centuries, but during "that long sequence of ages, in the fixed and abiding order of this ancient, country, that particular area of land has been cultivated, with the production of wheat as its main ob- jest, and it has remained as part of the English granary from the days of Edward the Confessor until those of Victoria. Many of the wheat fields are far more ancient than this, but the record of Doomsday Book is a practical voucher for a period of 1,000 years. The custom of the Saxon cuW tivators, and the evidence of loCSfl names, are proof of a still greater an­ tiquity of cultivation on some of the best corn land; and beyond the days of the Saxons lie the last two centuries of Roman occupation, when England was the great wheat producing coun­ try of the west, and supplied the pop­ ulation of Rome with daily bread. Perhaps the most interesting feature of our ancestral corn lands is the small degree in which their appearance can have changed in the< course of ten or twelve centuries. Their area is much greater than in the old times, when villages were separated by wide wood­ lands, and only grouped and contig­ uous in the open country. The early Saxon times were not days in which men cared to lay field to field. There was plenty of ground available, and of this the villagers cultivated and sowed with corn as much as they needed for their year's supply.--London Weekly Country Life, Jewish Shekel Worth $5,000. Charles Lunn and J. J. Shragge Of Winnipeg are the possessore of a rare vClZ* *-J~f;jnr.-.r.f|sfd cctr fTtnf ff WQrt'*- from $5,000 to $6,000, The coin ia a Jewish silver shekel, worth intrlnlic- ally about 52 cents, and about as large as an American or Canadian half dol­ lar. It appears to be very ancient. On the one side is a representation of Aaron's rod, with the words "Jerusa­ lem the Holy" in Hebrew characters, and on the other a pot of manna and the Inscription, in the same characters, "Shekel Israel." Above the pot of manna there i3 supposed to be a sort of effulgence or scroll, bearing in the middle a Hebrew character. Upon the presence of this mark, which experts can detect by heating the coin, depends its genuine­ ness. Experts state that the coin is the shekel coined by Simon Maccabeus, high priest and ruler of the Jews, 140 B. C. He was famous in Jewish his­ tory. The coin was obtained by. the present holders from a person in whose possession It had been oyep 20 years. The present holders have each a half interest in it. The coin is in a safety deposit vault, whence it can only be taken by the two jointly. The Numis­ matic Bank of Boston places the value of the piece at from $5,000 to $6,000. The owners are now waiting for replies from Great Britain--New York Trib­ une. . An Electric Bed Quilt. Something new under the sun is what may be described in popular lan­ guage as an electric bed quilt. A writ­ er in the Scientific American more technically tells of it "as a coil of wire bent in the fashion of a gridiron en­ closed in insulating and non-conduct­ ing material and embedded In cotton, wool, or other soft substance with a silk or muslin covering. The resist­ ance offered by the coil to the flow of an electric current through the wire produces heat in the same way that heat, and, eventually, light, are pro­ duced in the filament of the glow lamp." These quilts may be, it seems, readily attached tq ordinary incandes­ cent lamps and are regarded by medi­ cal men as promising great value on the operating table, Here, when an op­ eration is prolonged, the Usual means of sustaining the patient's temperature hot water, blankets, etc., interfere very seriously, sometimes, with its progress. The electric quilt could be much easier used. It3 therapeutic value for rheu­ matism and other kindred diseases is also obvious. It is becoming more and more evident that the greatest fairy stories of the world are going to be told of electricity; and, unlike the ac­ cepted idea of such tales, they are gon ing to be true.. C A woman has far more chance of marriage at 23 than at 21. - A Harvest of Human Hair. Perhaps there is no staple article of commerce about which less Is known by the average person than human hair. It will doubtless surprise many to learn that the dealers inhuman hair do not depend on chance clippings here and there, but there is a regular hair harvest that can always be relied upon. It is estimated that over 12,000 pounds of human hair are used annually In the civilized world for adorning the heads of men and women, but princi­ pally the fair sex. The largest supply of hair comes from Switzerland, Germany and the French provinces. There is a human hair market in the department of the lower Pyrenees, held every Friday. Hundreds of hair traders walk up and down the one street of the village, their shears dangling from their belts, arid inspect the braids of the peasant girls, standing on the. steps of the Defense of a Castle. 1450. Falst^*' *"*'* K* v»«. h i*s caMe^ Paston. As a excellent defe vaders, and as a residem thy of royalty itself. In fact, the Duki of Gloster, afterwards Richard III., at one time contemplated making it his abode. While Paston was trying tO establish his title in the courts, the Duke of Norfolk purchased a pretend­ ed claim for it, "and sought to gain pos­ session by force. The Pastons did not propose to yield, though the Duke was. thenjprobably the most powerful noble in England, and John Paston was his liveried servant. Four professional sol­ diers were sent up. from London to aid in the defense. They are described es "provyd men, coming In werr and well schote both gonnes and crossbows, and devyse bolworkys, and keep wacche and warde. They be saddle and we advysed, saving one of themi whyche is ballyr (bald), but ylt he Is no brawl­ er. Ye shall fynd them gentlymanly comfortable fellows, and that they dare abyde by ther taklyng." Young John Postan, aided by these four and by a handful of personal friends and followers, held the castle for several weeks against a siege con­ ducted by the Duke's army of 3,000 men. By the terms of the final sur^ render the besieged were allowed their lives and goods, horses and harness, and a respite for fifteen days, in which tc go where they pleased. The report­ ed that they were forced to surrender by "lak of vitayl, gonepowdyr, menys herts and surete of rescue," - Edward IV. had refrained from interfering in this extraordinary contest, because the troubles with Warwick were gathering thickly about him, and the Mowbrays were too necessary to be safely offend­ ed.--Sewanee Review. THE JOKERS' BUDGET. \ New Island off Borneo. A sensation has been created.in the Straits settlements and the far east by the sudden appearance of a new island off the coast of Borneo, between Nemtakol and Lumbdidan. The island is forty-five feet high, a third of a mile long and a quarter of a mile wide. For the most part the island is merely an upheaval of the bottom of the sea, but at Its highest point there is a dis­ tinct mud crater, with the conershaped top and sides fallen In. The sides of the cone give evidence of having been forced up through a crevice in solid rock. The British North Borneo Her­ ald says the cone, which is thirty yards in diameter, is surrounded by another and larger cone, which shows that with more pressure from beneath a much larger crater would have been formed. The rising of the island wa3 not accompanied by any volcanic dis­ turbance. The crater is seamed with crevices and cracks, which emit gases. By applying a torch tq a small crack in the crater the gas ignites and burns steadily.-r-rSt Louis Globe-Democrat. Lived 99 Years in Same House. John T. Scribner, of South Wales, Me., has neither father nor mother, sister nor brother, uncle nor aunt, nor wife. His nearest living relative is his boy, a robust lad of 68 summers. The fact of the matter is that John T. Scribner, who was 90 last July, is th>3 oldest man now living in the town. He was born in the hcusa where he and his son reside on July 28, 1807. The house was erected in 1806. He used to be an inveterate smoker, having formed the habit when he was but 10 years old, but 20 years ago he sat down in front of the open fireplace and lit his pipe. It failed to draw to suit him, and after three unsuccessful attempts to remove the difficulty he dashed the pipe aginst the bricks in the back of the fireplace and has never smoked from that day to this. Seeing Things Right Side Up. Sopie persons find difficulty in under­ standing how, since the images of ob­ jects looked at are inverted in the eyes, we nevertheless see the objects right side up. Recent experiments by Doctor Stratton indicate that .we possess an interesting power of adjustment in this regard, He wore inverting glasses which reversed everything within reach of his eyes, so that, for him, the ground was above and the sky below, while things on the right were seen on the left, and things on the feft were seen on the right. Continuously for eight days he- wore the glasses, and within that time all his bodily move­ ments became adjusted to the new or­ der, so that he could walk the streets without much difficulty A Wonderful Power. Chicago has a girl named Elfa, who is described as a most wonderful crea­ ture so far as her ability to see the in­ visible is concerned, It is claimed that she can describe the contents of a purse held up before her without touch­ ing the purse itself, telling how many coins are in it and what their value is. She turns her back to the street, and, with closed eyes, can accurately de­ scribe every passerby,, mentioning the color and cut of each one's clothing, and any physical peculiarity he or she may have. By looking at an invalid she can diagnose any disease and sug­ gest the proper remedies for it. She may be fitly and is described as "a human X-ray." A paper watch has been exhibited by a Dresden watchmaker. The paper is prepared in such a manner that the watch is said to be as servlbeable as those in ordinary use. TBUE COUBAOC What courage men will sometime^ iu show In things of mighty weight! And how they flinch when some light blow Falls from the hand of Fate I In stocks he loBt He seemed not vexed To find hiB assets few. He lost his collar-button next And made the air turn blue. WHAT A SPECTACLE I Professor (of astronomy)--How many of the planets can be Been with the naked eye ? Dear ;Little Girl--I don't know, sir. We have no naked eyes in Boston. PAID HIS GAS BILII. "Hello!" said Brown, as he met Jones coming out of the ga» CQT pany's office, "been executing a r* gage on your property ?" j1. "Yes," sighed Brown, f", 4% cents make 5 cents 5 cents and up 4% centfi 5 and *5 cents Jiggins--I suppose you ,. J^ cents drunk with it? 42 cents Bagson Tatters--What! W ^ r whole dime ! No; I want ter buj J~ corner in wheat and ship it up ter^8 Klondike. SAD MISUNDERSTANDING. "It was all I could do to keep from laying violent hands "on him," said the keeper of the high-class cafe, as the pale young man departed. "The idea of his calling this place a bean- ery!" "He meant to pay you a compli­ ment," said the listener. "Are you not aware'that he is a J3ostonian ?" A PESSIMISTIC VIEW. ' 'Did you hear about poor Fowler ?" asked Mr. Cynical Oldbatch. "No; what about him ?" "He has joined the great silent army," responded Oldbatch, shaking his head. "Great heavens ! Is he dead?" "Worse; he is married." PA SUBSIDED. The Son--Pa, how do they catch fools ? The Father {glancing significantly at his better half)--With bows ana ribbons and hats and dresses, my son. The Mother (pensively)--Yes, I never knew a woman to catch . a hus­ band yet without using those acces­ sories. THEIB ADVANTAGE. Miss Nue--Men are sadly degenerat­ ing. Those of the old school always took off theiivhats to women, which is more than can be said of this genera­ tion. Pruyn--That may be true, but, you see, the old-school gentleman had one great advantage--he could always tell a woman when he met one. THE TEST OF GOOD NATUBE. Fuddy--There is one thing that can be said of Mercer; he lives up to the injunction of the golden rule. ' Duddy--In what manner, pray ? Fuddy--When he tells Groper a good story Groper never laughs at it; but when a few days later Groper tells the same story to Mercer, Meroer laughs as though he would split. HEB INFEBENCE, "Goodness alive !" ejaculated good old Mrs. Honk, in horror, looking up from her newspaper; "I didn't know there were cannibals out in Kansas." "Cannibals J" snorted her husband. "What in the world are you talking about, Debby?" "Why, I have just been reading an item in this paper that Cousin Eli, who lives out there, sent us, which says that 'The Imperial Hotel had a couple of Chicago capitalists for dinner yesterday.'" HOPELESS TASK. ' 'What strange methods some men adopt to get wives," she remarked as she . looked up from the newspaper whioh she had quietly appropriated as hers by right because she was first at the breakfast table. "What's happened now ?" he asked. "Why, a New York widower has made application for one at the Barge office where the immigrants land," she explained. "He says he wants a woman who is thoroughly respectable, of kindly disposition, fairly good look­ ing, good to. children, obedient----" "Hold on!" he interrupted. "What's that last ?" "Obedient." "He might as well give up." TO BE KEPT SECBET. He was a great bore, and was talk- fug to a crowd about the coming local eleotion. Said he: "Gibbs is a good man; he is capable, honest, fearless and conscientious. He will make the very kind of representative we heed. He once saved my life from drown­ ing." "Do you really want to see Gibbs elected ?" said a solemn-faced old man. ' 'I do, indeed. I'd give anything to see him elected," answered the bore. "Then, neveflet anybody know he saved your life," counseled Ihe solemn- faced man. • A Curious Calculation. Snyder, the calculating barber, has been figuring again. It seems that he said he had an afternoon off ytx Thursday, and in journeying to K^i-. <ington in a trolley car to see his best ffirl was compelled to change his posi­ tion on the seat three or four times to make room for other passengers. "It'a a nuisance, this sliding .up and down in street cars," said Synder, last night "Did you ever stop to think how much energy Is wasted in that way? Every time you move to make room for some­ body else you edge along perhaps six Inches. Every time you travel in the cars you have' to move three or four times. Call it three--that makes eigh­ teen inches. Something like 250,000,- 000 people rode In the trolleys last year. If only half of them, or 125,000,000 were seated, the slide up and down amounts to . the extent of 2,250,000,000 inches, of about 35,511 • miles. Now, if all thla energy had been expended by one man he could, in the course of a year, have slid around the earth, with over 10,000 miles to spare. Does the razor hurt" ---Philadelphia Record,