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' i; •*' 'z „:?s,:;**&/h vy*'•*&>\\ *ap;; ?. \r$S« V »'5" * -: nd&l >* ' • i*L* <•' A v^'>V; ffcAJBTDKALflt -.- •?"' »r -• '• u '•flood gracious, professor," said , 1 the friend to the music teacher, frV* "8Urely you cannot give that tefior • letter of introduction to the Direc- ~,r'uv' * tor of Paris Opera! He is an ignorant, bumptious student, and I always thought you detested him." "My friend," replied the professor quietly, "have you noticed the grand staircase of the Paris Opera * . . "' house?" - "Yes, but what has that to do with it?" 'It 4s 150 feet high* and its steps Lights of New York 1 L. L. STEVENSON 'wr. are solid blocks of polished marble. - "Well?" 'c *1 want to see him kicked down •very one of them."--Montreal Star. •ONE ST OPINION Vr.y.; . / •' "/I "**' ii* * i * ' ' & *'> • "hi* "• He--What's your honest optaion of me, dearest? She--I really think you'll mate some good girl a husband. No Duplicate Wanted Ole Olson's old auto had caught lire and burned up. As it was insured, he went to the insurance office to get his money. He was handed a claim blank to fill out and was told that he couldn't get the money but that the insurance company would replace his car with another one equally good. "Oh," Ole exclaimed, "if that's the way you do business, give me back the money I paid you the other day for that insurance policy on my wife's life." Age of A Georgian from up in the mountains came to town on his annual trip with a load of corn, sweet potatoes and other produce to exchange for groceries. As he neared the city he saw a sign: "Speed Limit 15 Miles an Hour." Prodding his oxen frantically with a. stick he muttered: "By golly! I don't believe we can make it." v Easy Lawyer--You say the fence was seven feet high and you were standing on the ground, and yet you could see what was going on inside that fence? Remember, you are under oath. Witness--Don't get so het up, Mister Lawyer. There was a knothole in the .fence. . I STATE OF IGNORANCE Native--Last week the boys hung our mayor in effiigy. Tourist--So! Where is Times Change * "Now, sir," the prosecutor stormed at the defendant, "I'll ask you if you weren't convicted on the twentieth of March, 1926, on the charge of bootlegging?" "Oh, yes," the prisoner admitted with assurance, smiling in a friendly way at the jury, "but I ain't got you for my, lawyer this time." . On the Trail - Private Detective--As IiislitfMefl, madam, I have followed your husband. He went into eight dress shops, three beauty parlors, five millinery establishments and-- Madam--What on earth for? Detective--He was looking for you. madam. Goad Mother "Is young Mrs. Whoofley a good mother?" "Good? Why she's marvelous! I have seldom seen anyone more careful when hiring a nurse for her children." Ini Choice "What are Smith's two daughters like?" "The elder is terribly simple ant}, the younger is simply terribl«»'V ' He'll Be Notified Constructor--Does the foreman know that the trench has fallen in? Laborer--Well, sir, we're him out to tell him. Minute Lessoi "Did you ever find something when you were looking lor something else?" «Y, <ei XesulLr TMs ftffltat: Millions have been made and lost on tablecloths in New York hotels and restaurants ... A pencil is the only equipment necessary . . . Never mind the laundry bills and ruined tablecloths . . . Instead of paper profits, linen profits .. . Now come the amateur strategists who win battles on nightclub tablecloths . . . Draw war maps and write out plans . . . They have never smelled gunpowder, heard big guns or worked out a war college problem . . . Yet they feel entirely qualified to criticize the British and French general staffs ... It might be a lot better for all concerned if they would concentrate not on war plans but on plant to keep America out of Europe . . . Am reminded of the Times elevator operator who was asked what service he would choose if called to the colors . . . "The B army," was his reply "B here when you go and B here if you come back" Skibway entrance doggers are one of my pet peeves . . . Many New Yorkers have the habit of stopping to converse right in the paths of those who would go downstairs , . . Buffeting doesn't seem to make any impression at all . . . Dark looks have still less effect.. . . Apparently that which is being discussed is of such importance that inconvenience to others is of no consequence . . . Yet portions of such conversations as have reached my ears have been merely trivial . . . Another quaint New York habit I've noted is that of "swelling out" . . . A New Yorker finding space enough for two on a subway seat immediately tries to absorb it all . . . Some women place packages on the seat beside them . . . and look insulted if asked to take them on their laps so that some one else may rest his or her feet ... Great town. New York • • • The talk was about a well-known writer of hit songs . . . "He owes a great deal of his success to his wife," asserted some one . . . "Yeah," added Louis Prima, "and he owes even more to Tschajkowsky" . . . A1 Smith is to be a candidate for the city council in the November election . . . The son, not the father . . . Though once upon a time, A1 Smith Sr was a member of the board of aldermen • . . "Let's all hope," says Phil Baker, "that America remains the place where the oply precaution necessary against a gas attack is a can of bicarbonate" . . . And night when I hear a plane droning overhead, I'm thankful that instead of a bomber, it is merely the Albany mail, v • • • Like Bea Wain's description of a "typical" New Yorker: "He is a man who dawdles for an hour at an excavation job but wails if he has to wait three minutes for a subway train; who runs up escalator steps; who insists on getting the morning paper the night before; who wouldn't accept a $20 bill for a dime for fear something was being put over on him; who knows all the rackets because he's always falling for them, and finally, he's the man who professes scorn for 'hick' towns but if there's one thing he dreams of settling down-to when he has enough money, is a 'quiet place in the country.' " • • * ' For at least two years, there have been "danger". signs in front of a Forty-second stfeet restaurant . . . The signs are so spaced that they afford just enough parking space for the trucks of the company'operating the place, which is one of a chain . . . Yet New Yorkers, including those who pass day * after day, give those signs as much room as they can . . . Elevators which rise from basements up to the sidewalk level must' be equipped with warning bells so that pedestrians may g e t o u t o f t h e way . . . A number of out-of-towners have taken free rides because tljey stopped to try to learn why the bell was ringing. • • • Advertisements begging owners to come and get their money may seem strange . . . Yet they have been appearing again in New York newspapers . . . Banks with unclaimed deposits want to get rid of them . . . Those "inactive acc o u n t s " c o s t t h e m m o n e y . . . I f not claimed, they eventually pass to the state . . . and now, THE END. fp: ' (Bell Syndicate--WNU Servlctf.) ' Cycles Daily for 61 Yean SEAFORD, DEL.--P. Frank Atkins observed his seventy-eighth birthday anniversary by taking his daily bicycle ride. He attributes his good health to 61 years of "cycling," during which time he never has failed to take his daily ride. Psychology to Assist Drivers Tells1 by University Prove Safely Factor Can Be Increased* I BERKELEY, CALIF. psychology may yet solve the problem of chronic automobile traffic violators, as has been demonstrated by tests made here for the past two years. The psychological driving test has been perfected by Dr. C. E, Brown, head of the department of psychology at the University of California, working in conjunction with E. D. Fletcher of the state department of motor vehicles. The tests were carried out in the ?urs "u alA t. r-- esearch maimer of compar- v - •» * ' »• * *• •*• u,6 itouiw aiiameu wiut Ufic group of drivers which had taken the tests and another group which had not. The results as obtained from a group of 97 of the state's worst traffic violators showed a drop of 63 per cent in major and 40.6 per cent in minor violations for the group as a whole. Proved Two Ways. A similar select group of chronic and dangerous violators remained untested. These continued to show an increase in their violations. For the two years in which the tested group showed a steady decrease. in the number of violations they committed, the untested group had 557 convictions for traffic violations as against only 164 convictions tor the tested drivers. In addition to these tests on chronically bad drivers, similar tests also were made on a group of truck drivers of a large corporation which lent its men for the experiment. Variations in their driving efficiency were measured in terms of accident frequency before and after testing. Following the administration of the special tests, the records of the tested drivers, improved even more. Rapid Improvement Shown. A group of untested good drivers from the same company, used as a control group, experienced more accidents after the testing date; although all of the drivers, both tested and untested, were considered safe, cautious and capable. v The conclusions from the two years' of experiments are that the tests made better drivers out of good ones and materially improved both the technique and the caution of the poor drivers. An extension of the test also was made on drivers who possess talents and others who were rated as just ordinary or poor. » One hundred and forty-four of these were tested and compared with a similar group of untested drivers. During the two years of the test, the tested drivers had 85.5 per cent fewer accidents than the untested group. This Duck Possesses Two Pairs of Wings WHITEHILL, N. Y.--F. H. Vanderworker, Williams street, owns a duck named Donald, which has two sets of wings, something his famous namesake cannot quack-quack about. Other than this oddity Donald is normal. There is the regular set of wings, and normal, and below them, on each side is an extra wing as large as the normal ones. Hill Families Losing Ground in California STANFORD UNIVERSITY, CALIF.--California's hill population is rapidly declining, according to Jan O. M. Broek, assistant professor of geography at the University of California. "The passing of the old hill family and many of its descendants," he said, "is due to the decline in lumberipg and range operations, decline in the birth rate, the competition of valley and rural communities. "These combined with the fact that California has a low birthrate as compared with the country as a whole, have brought about the phenomenon of lower population in the uplands, while population in the lowlands is increasing." As a result of this situation, he declared, a high number of schools in the hill country have been closed, not because of the establishing of consolidated schools for several formerly independent districts, but because the number of children has so decreased that even the required minimum of five for each district cannot be maintained. "The situation has become so marked," he said, "that certain counties in the hill districts are obliged to depend on migration to maintain their present population." Three in Family Become / Mothers on the Same Day / COVENTRY, ENGLAND. -- The "three Wilkinson sisters" of Coventry all their lives have been accustomed to doing things together. Now that they are married they have continued the habit, for they gave birth to baby sons on the same day. The mothers are Mrs. Mavis Sutton, 25 years old; Mrs. Joyce Holland,- 24, and Mrs. Doris Waters, 26. Mrs. Waters is really the aunt of the other two, being their father's sister, but all three have been reared together and known as sisters. They went to school together, to church together, and w^ftre married^ together. Cat Mother of 153 HOQUIAM, WASH.--Despite the fact that she's 12 years old, Nigger, an alley cat that is the town 's pet, keeps right on toward a record for cat motherhood. A recent litter of five brought the number of her kittens since the count began to 15? Buses Run on Methane Fifteen hundred omnibuses in Italy are run by methane, or marsh gas, it is reported to the American Chemical society. Emanation of this gas in the district of Salsomaggiore will make possible the saving of tons of gasoline, it is believed. Island's Proper Name The smallest state in the Union has the longest name. Officially it Is "the State of Rhode Island and Providence plantations." and 30 British Utilize Old Ships Half si dozen old cruisers obsolete destroyers of the royal navy are being converted for convoy duty and as training ships for the royal naval voki&tpf re- Disraeli's Home ' Hughenden manor, home of Benjamin Disraeli, earl of Btaconsfleld, prime minister of Britain during Victoria's reign, has been opened to the public as a museum. RINGWOOD Mr. and Mrs. 11 N. Butler and' daughter, Rosemary, and Miss Shirley! Butler of Elgin and Mr. and Mrs. F.i A. Kitchens went Thanksgiving day' in the B. T. Butler home. | Mr. and Mrs. George Shepard and' family and Alan Ainger spent Thanksgiving day in the Wm. Heine home in Chicago. Mrs. Elisa Merchant and son, Lee, uf Greenwood, Mr. and Mrs. AUc Anderson and f amily, Mrs. Minnie! Coates, Mrs. Rilla Foss and Mrs. j Frankie Stephenson were guests of, Wayne Foss on Thanksgiving day. I Gladys Shepard spent Sunday in thej \iome of Mrs. Lillie Coudrey in Green* j wooST * , ^ j Guests in the Soy Neal home on Thanksgiving day were Mrs. Wice of Sturgis, Mich.; Mr. and Mrs. John' Neal and daughter, Marie, and Mr.| * > » w t M l * . F ' - U v , . , , ' N < - . • ! ;S O . . T T- %• ' Mike Negri and daughter, Lucille, and' son, Mike, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Negri! and children, Mr. and Mrs. Joe Carney of Chicago. They also celebrated the twentieth wedding anniversary cf Mr. and Mrs. Roy Neal and presented them with a set of dishes. ' Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Simpson and son, Dennis, and Will Beth were guests in the Wm. Beth, Jr., home in Chicago Thanksgiving day. ' Mr. and Mrs. Dimon and daughter,] Ethel, and son, Alan, and Gordon Larson were guests of Mr. and Mrs. Dickj Olson Thanksgivnig day. J Guests of Rev.'and Mrs. Collins on Thanksgiving day were: Mr. and Mrs. Frank Collins and two daughters and Roger Emmerson of Wilmette; Mr. and Mrtf. Paul Collins and two daughters of Arlington Heights; Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Collins and two sons of Beloit, Wis.; Mrs. H. S. Hutchins of New York City; Miss Camille Moiens of Melrose Park and J. V.. Buckland. They also celebrated Mr. Collins' seventieth birthday anniversary and presented him* with a new radio. Mr. and Mrs. Clayton Harrison and son, James, were guests in the Ardin Frisbee home at Greenwood on Thanksgiving day. Mr. and Mrs. F. Muzzy, Sr., and Mr. and Mrs. Bois of Marengo spent Thanksgiving day in the F. N. Muzzy home. Mr. and Mrs. Wm. Wurtzinger and daughters of Woodstock, Mr. and Mrs. C. L. Harrison and family, Mr. and Mrs. S. W. Smith and daughter, Bernice, and son, John, were guests of Mr. and Mrs. Lonnie Smith on Thanksgiving day. Lucille and Jfalia Negri spent the weekend in the Roy Neal home. Thanksgiving day guests in the Ray Peter? home were Mr. and Mrs.- Earl Ray and family of Waterman,, HI., Mrs. F. H. Peters and son, Vernon, Mr. and Mrs. George Peters of Forest Park, Mr. and Mrs. Robert Peters of Oak Park and Dr. and Mrs. Clifford Peters of Chicago. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Krohn and daughters of Richmond were callers in the Ray Merchant hone Sunday afternoon. Mrs. Goerge Harrison, Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Harrison and sons, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Peet and daughters, Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Treon and Mr. and Mrs. Henry Hinse speipt Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. Edward Harrison in Elgin. . Mr. and Mrs. W. B. Harrison and son. Earl, spent Thanksgiving in the home of her brother in Winnetka. Mr. and Mrs. E. !«. Peck and sons Mr. and Mrs. C. G. Huson and George Peck of Elgin and Mildred Jepson of Evanston spent Thanksgiving day 5n the C. J. Jepson home. V- It <•>!:>. r;i J.T,fa: auC. family of Algonquin, Mr. and Mrs. B. B. Marble of Greenwood, Mrs. Mildred Carney of Rock Island and Mr. and Mrs. Lester Edinger and family of Woodstock were guest* in the Joe Mc- Cannon home on Thanksgiving' day. Mr. and Mrs. Joe Weber and family of McHenry spent Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. Nick Young. Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Coyne and family spent Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. Ragner Remer at Pistakee Bay. Miss Catherine Coyne, who is attending MacMurry College at Jacksonville, arrived home Wednesday for the Thanksgiving holidays. Virginia Jepson of Cornell college, Mt. Vernon, Iowa, spent the weekend at her home here. Mr. and Mrs. Ben Fout and Mr. and Mrs. Ed Peet spent Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Clay and family ft Rockford. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wiedricli, Jr., and family spent Thanksgiving day in the Edwin Vogel home at Solon Mills. Mrs. Jennie Bacon and Will Beatty spent Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. Harry Anderson and family near Richmond. Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Merchant and Alice Howard of Kenosha spent Sunday afternoon in the Ray Merchant home.. Mrs. Woodford and daughter, Iva, of Park Ridge spent Friday and Saturday in the Wm. McCannon home. On Friday, they with Mrs. McCannon, were visitors at Elkhorn and on Saturday they all called on friends in Hebron. Mr. and Mrs. J. A. Dewey of Armstrong, Mr. «ftd Mrs. Harold Jepson and family of Urbana, Mr. and Mrs. Roland McCannon and family of A1 gonquin and Virginia Jepson of Xt., Vernon, Iowa, spent the weekend with! their parents, Mr. and Mrs. C. J. Jepson. Mr. and Mrs. Maynard Stohlquist and Mr. and Mrs. Earl Shales, Woodstock, spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Robert Howe. Mr. and Mrs. Ray Merchant and family spent Thanksgiving in the Charles Krohn home. Mr. and Mrs. Martin Thompson and daughter of Chicago spent Sunday in the Patrick Coyne home. t Billy Beth of Chicago spent the weekend in the home of his grandfather, Will Beth. « Miss Gay Klein-Exd of Chicage spent the weekend with Edith Pearl Harrison. Mr. and Mrs. Ray Peters spent Sunday with the letter's parents at Hunter, 111. Community services were held at the Methodist church Sunday evening. Dr. A. T. Stephenson qf Evanston was the speaker of the evening. Ucli W&'C &Q2XAt t3lC ClO-iC of the evening. * Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Harrison and children of Elgin spent Thanksgiving day in the Roy Harrison home. Silas Fisher of McHeftrv spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Harold Wiedrich and family, . Mr. and Mrs. Roy Harrison and! daughter, Edith Pearl, Amy Har&on and Gay Klein-Exel spent Frid&y a* Kenosha. 'v sfer'-: 1 Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wiadrich WW v, callers in the Harold WleMdi hotmm, / at Wonder Lake Sunday. There were eighty-five that attend"^4 ed the Home Bureau party at the home * ^ of Mr. and Mrs. Clinton Martin Fri~ ^ ^ day evening. Pumpkin pie and coffee ^' were served. , The Home Bureau held a card party t;* at the home of Clinton Martin Fri day evening. There were eighty-five ^ in attendance. Prizes in five hundred were awarded to Clinton Martin and Gordon Larson; in hearts to Amy Harriso^ and Vernon Howe, and » Chinese checkers to Shirley Neal and Lucille Negri. , .1 ? Mr. and Mrs. Louis Hasrley and}-^ family spent Thanksgiving day relatives in Barrington. ' Mr. and Mrs. D. L. Hall and daugh- ^ ter, Elly, spent Thanksgiving day with Mr. and Mrs. ChartestNeinhaus at K/*' Ostend. * ^ Mrs. Dimon and daughter, Ethel, «f Ostend spent Tuesday in the Dick 01-" i; T**"' • Mr. and Mrs. Roy Neal and seoa,^"": LeRoy and John, spent Sunday afternoon with relatives in Chicago and",-# Oak Lawn. Lucille and Julia Negri,: ^ who have been visiting in the Neal home, returned home with them. Mrs. J. F. Mclaughlin entertahed the Easy Aces at her home Tuesday afternoon. Prizes were awarded to ; tA.f Mrs. W. B. Harrison and Mrs. Ralph •• . J Simpeon. . '*./ Bjree Examined Dr. Paul JL Schwabe OPTOMETRIST Phone: MeHewy 13S-J THURSDAY A. & Nye BMg. West McHenry Woodstock (74 MORNINGS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY r.*;\ , CENTRAL GARAGE --One of the best equipped garages in Northern Illinois-- STANDARD OIL PRODUCTS Guaranteed Service on all Makes of Cars and Trucks Full line of Winter Oils and Greases ^ Alcohol - Zerone - Prestone ? \V Full Line of Atlas and Goodyear Ttfvg ' Electric and Acetylene Welding 0*r Wuhiaf unl PoHitiiilf • • Id :.. ntSD j. surra, Prop. .. ' rmnre Towing loluiitatf mi (CI WW! MIX. Somethins ml* w drink mixer*-miscs, whip*, liqaiditrs with lightning speed. Makn orange ice without freetcr. nmuo iuicc from whole ripe torn* iocs. A gift youll want to (MM beep for loondf*. ... GIVE ELECTRIC GIFTS (A) ILICTRIC ROASTIR. Cooks an entire meal for eight, to jtucy, tempting perfection. Poru- "e. eajy to clean. Automatic tem- •tarure control. Heavy insulation... fa] foi everyday or auxiliary rooking. Model illustrated. . fl7ag (Pan set extraj l/B* {ld*<! (B) SUNBIAM MIXMASTB. Beats, w hips, mashes, mixes, juices. Has new Mix-Finder dial which automatically maintains 10 separate mixing speeds. With'two glass bowls Zw <0)1>ft0X« TO A ST* A STIR TRAY SBT. Set includes famous Toastmaster 2-slice pop-up toaster, toast < utuog board, large serving and 4 (mailer lap trays. TkNtMau •Wadding relish dishes. . . (t)SUNBEAM COmtMASTIR. Unbreakable !.. unbeatable' Lustrous chfemepiatr Compleiety automatic -- aot m. tut«et; it shuts km.If off, thea resets to keep coffee hot. Brews one cup as jmfetdr as eight *1$ <F) HANOYHOT TOASTtR- 6RILL. A bound -to-please gift smartly designed in gleaming chro mium. Ideal foi making tasty snacks in a jiffy Fries, grills, toasts two full-sued sandwiches at ooce. <G) MOTPOINT WAFFLIR. Makes waffles that melt m your mouth ! Graceful design wi:h wide tray base . finished in glcamingf chrome-plate. Heat indicator, ex panding hinge, loag-lived G. E heating element Popular at {yj PIN-IT-UP LAMP. Ivory finished bracket, convenient switch pull-cord, parchmentized paper shade. fJIS 0REGG MAKI-UP MIRRORL Bound to please both ladies and menfolk Ideal for make-up or shaving Coflapicse - - outlet in bate. , Just two of the lovely tlmp bargains you 11 find on display. The attractive I. E.S. pair shown here are obtainable with bronze or silver and gold finished bases - multi-way lighting. Choice shades mTWsnciAipnso* _ AM eXT** •• SPECIAL el*71 ^I^'.Tubor-'.ng tha« wiU b. With features galore. ofnwJd».ndsir«w» variety of pnees. ^eyourchoiec. Hundreds of attractive, useful electric appliances to choose from--priced for every budget, suitable for every need. Sensible gifts for sentimental giving -- combining lasting, practical, pleasure - giving qualities with the true spirit of Christmas giving. ~ . v - Liberal terms! All appliances selling feflB and up may be purchased for a small down payment ... balance, plus small carrying charge, oo your monthly service bill. We urge you to moke your selections early - r Electric s famous Christmas ppecial. 6 cubic fboc Model. SICflit I of extra features . . . Iw^ . . . AMD ELECTRICITY tS CHEAP! JINIVIRSAL HIATIN0 PA*. our thermostats positively main one of J heats. Nine-foot c ne-oa tares. «inhabit muslin taaB •lipaad* ateiprooif cise. • . ^ ^fw Other dealer* are also offering choke selections of electrk gifts for Christmas giving. PUBLIC SERVICE STORE cttCTRK AtAR* , .!>i'ine gift -n raottleJJ miCHSON CLOCK A brown plastic case . With scii-start- tM) sealed-u»-o«l motor. Only * "mi } Telephoie: Oryital Lake 280