V PAGE 15-PLAINDEALER-FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1973 Pastor Hanner's Trip "He That Hath Eyes To She--Let Him See 11 How To Get Your Child ToListenToYou We can begin this article with a small truism - before our children will listen to us, we have to listen to them and to respect their point of view. It sounds easy enough, but un fortunately we sometimes behave as if all we have to do in order to communicate with young people is to treat them like vending machines: Put in some good advice here and get out good behavior there. An all too common assumption that seems to guide parents and teachers in their com munication with young people is - "Tell 'em, then tell 'em again, and if they don't shape up, punish 'em in some way." For many adults, this represents the totality of their communications skills with children, • ANSWER YOUNGSTERS QUESTIONS One of the best ways to en courage good communication patterns at home or at school is to answer youngsters' questions as quickly, as can didly, and as forthrightly as possible. When we answer questions in this manner, we may communicate any number of possible implicit messages to a youngster, including: "That's a good question" and "Your question deserves an answer." The youngster then feels that he is important and that he is respected. DON'T PLAY GOD One of the occupational hazards of being a parent (or teacher) is the temptation to play God. Because our children or our students look up to us, we sometimes feel it necessary to know all the answers or at least to pretend that we do. Therefore, we may exhibit a tendency to sound off before our young on topics about which we may know very little. In one way or other, we can be guilty of trying to maintain the fiction that father or mother knows best. Sometimes we do know best. But sometimes we don't, and we are well-advised not to pretend that we know all. Rather than pretending to know when we really don't, let's say frankly, "I don't know the answer to that, but let's see if we can find out together." Admitting that we don't know is one way of conveying that we are not perfect, that we are human, too. ALLOW FOR DISAGREEMENT A healthy, constructive relationship /"does not always have to bev an agreeing one. Seventeen-year-old Dave put it this way: "What really helps me in talking to my Dad is that I know he'll consider my side of things. I mean he doesn't get mad if I disagree with him. I may end up doing what he wants me to anyway, but what matters is that he'll hear me out. Knowing that he'll listen to me makes it easier for me to listen to him." AVOID USING SARCASM OR RIDICULE A parent's or teacher's use of sarcasm or ridicule is a serious barrier to good com munication. Humiliating a youngster is a quick and sometimes permanent way to get him not to listen to us. Bitter sarcasm and caustic ridicule have no place in raising children. Let's face it, none of us want to talk or listen to another person if we feel he'll cut us down. DON'T GIVE UP Getting our children to tune us in rather than out may at times seem hopeless but we can do it - and probably better than we are doing it now. If we want our children to listen to us, they must know for certain that we will listen to them. Pre-Schoolers May Be Able To Learn Flossing Even children as young as 4 years old may be able to use dental floss effectively and without hurting their gums, according to a recently com pleted study. In a Head Start center in Evansville, Ind., a teacher, a nurse and a dentist worked with pre-school children teaching them how to floss their teeth once a day at home. After the children returned from a 10-day holiday vacation, disclosing liquid revealed that not a child in the center had a significant amount of bacterial plaque, the sticky, colorless substance that builds up on teeth. Plaque is a major factor in tooth decay and gum disease. Center officials report that the children are delighted with themselves, feeling that their new skills are important ones. One Head Start youngster from a family of 12 children has taught his family to care for their teeth. Said his sister, "Every time I walk in the house, floss is hanging out of someone's mouth." (The following is the eighth in the report of the Rev. William Hanner, retired Episcopal pastor, concerning his travels through the South). The eighth of January saw us pulling up our stakes in Biloxi, Miss., and heading to sunnier climes. We worked east along Gulf Coast, through, or rather around Mobile, Pensacola and out to Fort Walton, where thirty-one years ago I had gone to report for military duty at the Air Force Proving ground. We had lived at Destin, a little fishing village ten miles from the field and seven miles from the nearest phone. Roads, bridges, buildings were replaced. The streets did • not go where they once had~all was different. Out along what was then the desolate Gulf Coast of Florida we drove- where once the dunes and sand as white as snow fyad fascinated us; where once, when fuel was hard to get during the war I had gone each night to gather drift wood for the next day's fires. It was cold in North Florida in the winter of 1942-43. All we had for heat was a fireplace. It had to be stoked continually and it got hungry for fuel. Now Dunes, their grasses and sea oats were leveled. Ten- story motels and apartment houses replaced them. The fishermen's little houses were gone, suburban type dwellings were in their place. Here was where the boats went out for red snapper and pompano, for yellowtail and flounder. Here I had preached for the Maltezos and Marlers, the Destins and the Taylors in the wee frame church of St. Andrew's. Now there was a large church and parish house. Even the diocesan lines were changed and the bishop, not in Jacksonville but in Mobile, cared for the church. We had lunch on the very spot where I had scrounged for firewood; now there was a modern motel with a sign," Private Beach-Guests Only". No matter what you do to God's earth-MAKE MONEY. Sick and homesick we sped to Tallahassee for the night thinking of the pristine days when no road went near the beach and the bishop came by boat from Valparaiso across Choctawatehee Bay. After we left Tallahassee the next morning we crossed the Suwanee river. It was a cold morning. You wouldn't think of the Suwanee river smoking in the cold dawn--but it was!! That night we were in St. Petersburg in a motel and having dinner in an elegant restaurant, the guests of two highly successful business women whom I had in my parish in Geneva, 111., in the late 1930's when they were teen agers. One of the great rewards of the clergy, as with parents, is to see young people who have been under your care do well in the world. We went with them to dinner in a widely known restaurant, where food and service excel, even as the garden in which you dine whispers, "Florida", in your ear. The next day we were off across Tampa Bay on the huge great bridge which many of you have crossed. We spent the night with the retired Bishop of Chicago, the Rt. Rev. Frank Burrill and his wife, Elna, in their beautiful new retirement home on Siesta Kev. The Bishop took us all about the Key and also Longboat Key to the north. The whole West coast of Florida is being developed as the East coast was a few years back. It is sad to see the changes being wrought. I am not sure what we have before our eyes is "progress". After a pleasant stop with the Burrills we were off to an old and dear friend's place on Captiva Island. Captiva is more like the old Florida in the days before the bulldozers. Life here is slow and dreamier-pelicans laze across the sky. A little Hold Blood Donor Night In Woodstock The McHenry County Blood Assurance plan has been providing blood for residents of McHenry county since August, 1972. To give needed support for this plan, the Woodstock Lions club will hold a Blood Donor Night Tuesday, Feb. 6. All interested Lions should contact Memorial Hospital for McHenry County. An ap pointment will be given for the blood drawing. IMAGINE.' FAMILY CIRCUS AND PILLOWCASES AT NO EXTRA CHARGE WITH FPIGICUMQE WASHER DOVER OR LAUNDRY I GOT THE BEST nuzr OF THE DEAL... A FREE FAMILy CIRCUS COLCCING BOCK JUST POP COMIN' IN' m 1973, Thf Regiiler and Tribune Syndicate With every Frigidaire washer or dryer you buy between January 21st and February 28th, you'll receive a set of fine sheets and pillowcases by Burlington, at no extra charge, imprinted with all the lovable Bil Keane "Family Circus" characters. And with the pur chase of a Frigidaire Laundry Center or laundry pair, you'll receive two sets. Each set contains two easy-care twin sheets (one top and one fitted) plus two pillowcases. Get all the wash day capacity you need with this Frigidaire washer and dryer. The washer features Frigidaire's Jet Cone Agitator to clean deep down without pounding or beating, and has a 16 pound capacity. The dryer, with Flowing Heat to provide even, thorough WCD3T-DCD3T drying, without hot spots, holds up.Jp 18 pounds of laundry. You'll love it So will your kids. s 428 00 Lee & Ray Electric chapel is in the shape of a ship, beaches are open for shelling and fishing and swifhming (when it's warmer) -- we used electric blankets on Captiva. It was down to low 40's - but who knows what it was in Chicago and McHenry. Next to Captiva is Sanibel Island, used at one time as * bases by the pirates of the early days. Better than a half of Sanibel is set apart as a wildlife refuge in memory of the famous "Ding" Darling whose work spanned the ad ministrations of Teddy Roosevelt through Harry Truman. Darling worked for the Des Moines Register. He twice won Pulitzer prizes (1923 and 1942). Mr. Darling was also a con servationist and it is this side of his life that is known in Sanibel. Here in the several thousand acres of the J.N.Darling National Wildlife refuge this wise man secured an area in which threatened wildlife can thrive. Here in the gathering dusk one night, we saw gulls, coots, white and grey herons, egrets, wood ibis, (American Stork) barn swallows, vultures gullinules and anhingas. The roseate spoonbills were not in residence. The coots would line up a quarter of a mile away and on signal take off to your very feet. They reminded me of an ad vancing line of infantry. The wood ibis, wandered about the shallows-standing on one foot scratching with the other. When some morsel was unearthed beneath the surface the whole unfeathered head flipped out of sight-emerging with some struggling salt water flat delicacy to help with the bedtime snack. When disturbed they took off in long soaring flights-with a powerful wingbeat to sustain altitude and hung there - their black edged wings showing plainly in the late afternoon sun. Ringwood News had spent the weekend Grandma Miller. with Parish UMYF Plans Chili Supper Feb. 24 On Saturday, Feb. 24, there will be a chili supper served at the Ringwood United Methodist church between the hours of 5 and 7 p.m. This will be put on by the parish UMYF as a means of raising money for their ac tivities and projects. Tickets will be available Sunday Feb. 4 at the time of the pot-luck dinner. Plans are progressing for the retreat to be held the end of March or first of April. Be sure to indicate the topics you are interested in discussing on the list you received and return to Rev. Walker or Terri Grupe by Feb. 5. Bring it with you to the pot-luck. AFS STUDENTS TOSPEAK Sunday, Feb. 4, we will have the two exchange students from France and South Africa as our In the late light we could see the egrets like snow on their roosting places a half a mile away. On the edge of the mangrove swamp a grey heron glided to his perch, camouflaged as soon as he was a yard into the mangrove. I love to hunt wildlife sans gun. Once in a long while you get a good picture. Always you carry away pictures of the mind. People used to say to me when we lived in Florida, "I look but I don't see anything. What do you see?" I guess it takes practice and a slight twist of Scripture so that it reads, "He that hath eyes to see, let him see." guests along with their American families, for a family pot-luck dinner at the Ringwood United Methodist church. Dinner will be at 12:30. Bring your family and a dish- to-share. Hear these young people teH about their country and join ih the fellowship. JAN INFANT jAPTIZED Christopher Jon, infant son of Mike and Susie Hogan, was baptized last Sunday during services at Ringwood United Methodist church. Godparents for little Christopher are Barbara Ervin and Lee Popp. Following the service, a buffet dinner was served by the Mike Hogans. Guests included the godparents, Sig and Ingeborg Jacobsen, John and Ila Hogan, Harry Hogan family, Jerry Hogan family, Dick Thompson family, Pat Parsley and children, Mike Davis family, Bob Uttich family, Cliff Roltsch family, Rev. and Mrs. Walker with Audrey and Arthur and Wally Hunter. Little Mikie Hogan was a willing helper in opening gifts received by his baby brother. ABOUT TOWN The Dave Millers and son, Lee, and the Dan Hansens and three children of Greenwood spent part of Sunday visiting the Field Museum in Chicago. On the way home they stopped at a square dance and danced a couple of tips. There were other members of the Checker-Board Squares there too. This was quite a thrill for the kids to get to see mom and dad square dance. Mr. and Mrs. Dennis Rich and family went to Wilmette to Judy's mom's on Sunday af ternoon to pick up Annie. Annie BIRTHDAYS Onward into the new month of February, and on the fourth George Joslin and Sheryln Sonnemaker both share their natal day. On Feb. 5 Master Wayne Brennan has his day and on Feb. 7 big Leonard Ackerman has his day, and the ninth Allen Harrison and Marlyne Miller both share their day. To you all the happiest birthday ever. Till next week, stay healthy and happy. Drunk Driving is a Crime CALCULATOR A1 Mall coupon to: Drink/Drive Calculator Box 3007 Springfield, III. 82706 PLEASE PRINT Address. city- state/Zip- Governor's Traffic Safety Coordinating Committee The Woodstock Lions are assisting the Greenwood Gremlins 4-H club in carrying out this citizenship project. The Greenwood Gremlins were recently notified by the National 4-H Club foundation^ that it was a state winner for Citizenship in Action. The local club will receive a money grant which it will use to continue informing the public of the McHenry County Blood Assurance program and the need for blood. 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