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'Tis the season to lose your marbles f AGE » . PLAINDEALER • WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER 2C. 1M0 1 ootbem unless they "Stop being so cruel this instant'* Everybody adored the tur­ tles. Especially the cat that finally got hold of them. He thought they were absolutely delicious. It's a little like hitting yourself over the head with a hammer. I spent three full hours Christmas shopping in crowded department stores the other afternoon. I arrived home with empty arms. Not a blessed thing did I buy. "Didn't you buy any­ thing?" I was asked at the door. I said: "No, but I came close to buying my lunch. Is there any aspirin in the house?" Tis the season to be jolly, and lose your marbles. Once again there is some talk around here about buy­ ing a new pet for Christmas. I said: "Bah, humbug. No way!" We have two cats and one dog, and the price of pet food isn't going down. A few years ago a son wanted a baby alligator. I said: "Are you kidding? Lit­ tle baby alligators some­ times grow up to be big alli­ gators. Then they might have you for lunch." He said: "Aw, c'mon." I said: "I'm serious. Haven't you heard about the sewers of New York City? They are teeming with man- eating alligators." He said: "How could that be?" I said: "Well, every year a lot of New Yorkers go to Florida for vacations and buy those little baby alliga­ tors for their children. "When they get them back to New York, the babies slink down into the plumbing and wind up in the sewers. There they sit around and grow big and have families of their own." He said: "You're making that up." I said: "I'm just giving you a report on Fun City." Actually, a grown-up alli­ gator on a leash might be a handy thing to take with you Christmas shopping. You could probably get waited on a lot sooner. "Pardon me, Ma'am. I'm not trying to get ahead of you in line. Albert here just sort of pulled me ahead. Watch your ankles. He's a little surly today." Probably make crowds thin out pretty fast with a pet like that. One Christmas I went along with the idea of buying baby turtles. One had a rose painted on his back and we called him (or her) Rosy. The other had a clover painted on his (or her) back and we called him (or her) Gilbert. Don't ask me to explain such logic. After I bought Rosy and vi»»wvi V, A linu w ovi UIVlll up in housing. I bought them a little plastic bowl with a plastic island and a plastic palm tree on it. A sort of plastic South Pacific for Rosy and Gil. After that, I had to pro­ vide them with groceries. THE CANDYMAN'S CLOSET * > . THE TODDLER SHOP I ^is full of special gifts I for special little people! FREE WFT WRAPPING BOYS INFANT THRU SIZE 12 GIRLS INFANT THR ĵZEM 4 -- Christmas Hours (STARTING! DEC. 4) SATURMV 940-5:30 Snty 1140400 „„ u» our Conv.nl.,,, THf ^AMDRMAR'S CLOSET A THE TODDLER SHOP M 3430 E,m S're^ McHenry, lllinolt 3S3-0746 Some kind of dried bugs. And a little brine shrimp as ap­ petizers. The children would race the turtles on the patio. The one to cross the circle first won. (Rosy was the speed burner. Took every race.) Sometimes the turtles would be turned over on their backs by the boys. Then some girl would come along and threaten to squeal Aloha, Rosy and Gil. I told the youngest girl: "No more pets this year. And that's the final word." Her mother said: "Next time don't talk to him right after he comes back from shopping." O tidings of comfort and joy. --Anonymous CHRISTMAS HOORS Ii|ImI»I In. IS, IMS HOW OPEH Week Nights til 8:30 p.m. Saturday til 5:30 p.m. Sunday 10 - 3 p.m. Soo Our Toy Town (imriflr Is this It»*o. J'BEN FRANKLIN 1] We bring variety to life! 1250 N. Green Street, McHenry jJaue A geatiKfcd | 0ipishna$ '--the \fa±kion Jblio QUALITY WOMEN'S APPAREL AT AFFORDABLE PRICES • Coordinates • Dresses • Jeans • Sweaters • Blouses • Jewelry • Lingerie • Handbags • and More! GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE HOURS: M - THURS. 9 to 5 FRIDAY 9 to 8 SATURDAY 9 to 5 FREE CHRISTMAS GIFT WRAPPING CHRISTMAS HOURS: START 12/7/80 M • F, 9 to 8:30 SATURDAY 9 to 5 SUNDAY 10 to 3 WE FEATURE • JUNIORS 5-15 • MISSES 8 - 20 • HALF SIZES 12Vi - 24V2 C7/t£ ^D'aŝ .ion 1007 N. FRONT ST. (RTE. 31) McHENRY 385-7747 M -i