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i Page 2 - I'I.AIM)KALKR- H K R ALP. FRIDAY. MAY 3.1985 Opinion/Politics \ Europe needs a history lesson 7 I didn't think anyone could top President Reagan's celebration of the 40th anniversary of D-Day, when he stood out there on the beaches of Normandy talking to Walter Crbnkite, an American ftyg Superimposed over the scene. It made you proud to be an American. But for sheer humer and entertainment value it can't touch what he's lined up for V-E Day. Helmut Kohl rampant against a swastika. Mel Brooks must be writing this ihaterial. Give credit where credit is due. The president's attempt to symbolize the reconciliation of Germany and the United States by laying a wreath at a German war cemetery at Bitberg, Germany, Sunday, has become a classic farce; the funniest thing an American president has done since Jimmy Carter came down from the mountain reeking of malaise. Some' would consider it unseemly to laugh at Mr. Reagan's Bitbelrg Follies. After all, an American president is being humiliated, made to look the fool in the presence of strangers. But, it's human nature to take malicious pleasure in the discomfort of the mighty and the president's performance has reached'the level of vaudeville. One of the-basic elements of vaudeville humor was the prat­ fall, a staged tumble with arms and legs flying. But in setting up the gag, the comic first took car to clothe the victim in arrogance, pomposity and success; a top hat. It was the collapse * of smug superiority that made the fall so funny. So it is'with President Reagan and Bitberg. Mr. Reagan is recognized as the unparalleled genius of the symbolic gesture, the Winston Churchill of the photo opportunity. To see his vaunted public relations machine crash and burn on take-off like this brings giggles of mirth from Those of Us Who Pay Attention. Having said that, let me say this: It's unfair. Mr. Reagan has his faults but being a Nazi sympathizer isn't one of them. He is the victim of an overzealous German chan­ cellor, who seeks to use the president's visit for hi^own political purposes, and spectacularly bad staff work. (You know the staff work is bad when they call Richard Nixon for a advice on how to minimize political damage. That's like asking the captain of the Titanic how to miss icebergs. Predictably, Mr. Nixon tdvised them to hang tough). The most you justly charge Mr. Reagan with is a shallow, sentimental view of history. So what else is new? It's futile to argue over what could, have been done to avoidf this fiasco. The question is, what should the president do now? He has several options. * He can cancel the visit to the Bitberg cemetery, thereby avoiding any association with the Waffen SS which, until recently, he thought was what Bavarians had for breakfast. This apparently would topple the NATO alliance and has been ruled out. , He can go to Bitberg, lay a wreath on the grave of a good German and spit on the grave of an SS criminal.. While this might play good in Peoria, it is viewed as too mean-spirited a gesture for Mr. Reagan. Would John Wayne spit on a crave? Henry Fonda? No, the presiddht is too big a man lor that. He caH go to Bitberg and lay a wreath on Chancellor Kohl. This certainly has some symbolic possibilities, but recon­ ciliation isn't one of them. In any case, President Reagan likes Kohl who, alone among European leaders, is said to be Mr. Reagan's intellectual equal. k He could have the German government seal off the Bitberg cemetery from the press for "security reasons," throw a wreath in the manner of a ring toss at a county fair and beat it for Konrad Adenauer's grave where he can give a speech ex­ plaining that hardly any Germans alive today fought in World War II and of those who did, most either fought on the eastern front or in the underground. J And that's what he's going to do, I think; the last one. That's about the best he can escape with. I'm not terribly thrilled about celebrating V-E Day anyway. It was Western Europe's liberation we achieved; let it do the celebrating. Twice within 30 years we were dragged into monstrous wars of European making, the product of their combined stupidity, greed and cowaraice. We entered those wars, however reluctantly, not for national gain but out of motives that were more noble than not. •. Following World War II, we were indisputably the most powerful country on earth, armed with the most fearsome weapon known to history ; still we did not exploit that strength for our own purposes. Instead we used it to raise our allies and our former enemies out of the rubble they created. It was one of the more remarkable chapters in human history. We don't get enough credit for it. Were I a European statesman, I'd be celebrating V-E Day by reminding my countrymen of what they owe the United States. And if the president-any U.S. president-came over for a visit, I'd carry nim around in a chair. As a symbolic gesture. v Donald Kaul (Tribune Media Services, Inc.) The toll trumpets work .fine; now let's fix the toll booths The Illinois State Police have announced a crackdown on toll cheaters. According to statistics, the compliance rate of motorists paying at unmanned toll plazas has dropped from 90 to 88 per­ cent. The police have stated that more troopers will be used to work details at unmanned plazas. They hope such overt and covert and surveillance will make drivers more honest. Well, it's good to know that the state is concerned with en­ forcing collection lot the tollways. After all, that money is supposed to go to help maintain the highways. However, for those of us who always pay the tolls, either because of honesty or guilt, can something be done about quicker actiory repairing broken toll boxes? If you pass th6 un­ manned broth ana the auto- collector is broken, a born trumpets in your ear at a decibel level loud enough to tumble the walls of Jericho. When that same booth has not been fixed for a number of days, you start to feel like you're in a submarine. That horn sounds, and you expect someone to yell,' "Dive, dive, dive!" Even with the heat or air blasting and the radio blaring, the sound of that horn penetrates the innermost sanctums of your ear. Repairing these plazas more quickly would create an efficient collection system, not to men­ tion cut aown on possible hearing aid costs. (Shaw-Free Press editorial) Legislators introduce hundreds of hills Lawmakers v recently in­ troduced more than 800 bills in the House. Among the many measures introduced during the week were the following. County Officers Salaries (HB 1017) Would increase salaries for county officials in counties of less than two million people. Offices affected would include downstate coroners, county treasurers, county clerks, recorders and auditors. Salaries for present county officers would not be affected since the state constitution prohibits pay raises during an office holder's term. Hazing (HB 1162) Seeks to curtail hazing, a popular initiation rite often used by college fraternities and sororities. Penalties for student having on ^Illinois college campuses would be increased from a Class B to Class A misdemeanor. The higher penalty carries the possiblity of a one-year jail sentence. Malpractice Package (HB 1600, 1601, 1602, 1603, 1604, 1605, 1606, 1607, 1608, 1609) A 10-bill package attempting to bring malpractice costs under control. According to the State Medical Society, malpractice costs are the fastest rising medical ex­ penses. It is estimated that these-' expenses cost Illinois doctors and their patients over $1 billion per. year. Bills in the package seek to eliminate punitive damages, place a $100,000 cap on non-economic losses, require itemized ver­ dicts, create review panels to screen cases, allow for coun- tersuits , for malicious prosecution, limit attorney fees, and allow for early dismissal of non-involved doctors. * Joint Custody (HB 1349) Joint custody of dependent children would automatically be awarded in divorce cases unless it is felt by the court thaf the arrangement would not be in the best interest of the chBd. The court would be required to state the reasons why joint custody is not appropriate under the .cir­ cumstances. Statute of Limitations (HB 1315) Extends the statute of limitations for prosecutions for criminal .» sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual assualt, criminal sexual abuse and aggravated criminal sexual abuse, when the victim is under 18 years old., Proscution would be allowed while the victim is a minor, and two years after he or Hie .turns 18. , Missing Children (HB 1645) The Secretary of State would be required to include information on missing children with registration and driver's license renewal forms. This would increase dissemination of the information, and hopefully aid in locating more missing children. Cable Pornography (HB 1843, 1844) Cable companies would be prohibited from offering por­ nographic shows to their sub­ scribers, and municipalities would be forbidden from licensing companies who distribute suelriiiaterials. nw 56 ISTAKEE Phone 115-385^9854 SO. END OF PISTAKEE BAY Vh Milts*. Rt. 12 Served Daily FRIDAY 5 P.M. TO 10 P.M. 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