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Pafl* 2 N0RTHWES3T HERALD Section B Monday, September 9,1915 U' v Advice Donald Kaul Donald Kaul la a syndicated columnist tor Tribune Media Services DEAR ABBY / By A b i g a i l V a n Buren Don't expect Reagan to talk sense in crisis _ „You may not have noticed it, but we are being subjected to a "fall offensive." That's what the White House is calling Ronald Reagan's effort to persuade us that everything will be hunky-dory if only we get tax reform. It began Monday with the President's speech in Independence, Mo., and will continue throughout the nice weather. Not that tax reform is the only item on President Reagan's "must do" list. He's got the November summit with the Russians to worry about, the farm bill, the trade war brewing in Congress, possible sanctions for South Africa, a debt ceiling that will break the two- trillion-dollar barrier and an ongoing fight with Congress over the budget. A treacherous time. As always, there are those of u§ who wonder whether Reagan is up to the task, whether he has the intellectual capacity to deal with the problems of the nation. On the other hand, there is a growing suspicion that it really doesn't matter, that things would move along pretty much in the direction they're going no matter who was president. Suppose, for a moment, that we had a Practically Perfect Presi­ dent, one who was liberal where a president should be liberal, conservative where he should be conservative, and a flaming moder­ ate in all else; a man who was brave, caring, smart, honest, tough, sensitive and able to brush after every meal. (I could even suppose this paragon to be a woman, I guess, but a woman's place is in the vice presidency.). What would this noble creature, confronted by the situation con­ fronting President Reagan, do? Why, he would talk sense to the people, of course. He would go on national television and say : "My fellow Americans. We are facing immediate budget deficits of some $200 billion a year. I know, there are politicians who will tell you that it is less than that, but they lie. And that $200 billion is just for openers. If we were to slip into a new recession -- and sooner or later we will -- it might easily become $400 billion, destroying our economy. Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to have to cut that deficit and cut it now! (And all ovet the country, people in front ot their television sets begin to nod their heads in silent agreement.) "I'm not going to stand here and insult your intelligence by telling you that we can cut the federal budget $200 billion by doing away with waste and inefficiency. We don't waste that much; we're not that inefficient. And I'm net ready to raise taxes ̂ 200 billion. (A sheep rancher in a Montana bar lifts a glass at the TV and says, 'Man talks sense.') "I think we're all going to have to bear the burden of balancing the budget. Non-essential spending, both for military and-social pro­ grams, will have to be cut and tax loopholes will have to be closed." ('Right. Close them damned loopholes,' a Tennessee auto worker says.) "In that spirit, I'm proposing a freeze on cost-of-living adjustments to Social Security and federal pensions, both civilian and military. (In Florida, an elderly man wearing a World War II campaign hat stands up and shouts 'Bolshevik!' as he throws his cane at his set.) "And I think we have to bring Medicare and Medicaid costs under control. To that end, I favor a cap being placed on doctors' fees and hospital charges. (An anesthesiologist in Laguna Beach reaches over and pulls the plug on his TV monitor.) "Like most of you, I think military spending should be cut, but you c^nU do that simply by eliminating a few exotic weapons systems. I propose re-Instituting the draft and lowering military salaries. Young men shouldn't have to be bribed into serving their country. In the interests of fairness, I would also do away with the deferment of college students and require conscientious objectors to perform alternate service. (A frat man at Princeton speaks for a nation of college students when he says: 'It's some kind of a joke, right? Not even Sylvester Stallone is in favor of the draft.') "As for tax loopholes, the one that will yield the most money is getting rid of the mortgage-interest deduction on your income tax. There's no reason to give homeowners a break that renters don't have. Furthermore, I think we should tax health-insurance and unemployment benefits just like any other income." (The switch­ boards at the three major networks, as well as the White House, suffer meltdown.) "Those are just a few of my ideas for getting this country on track again. I'm sure that after you've considered them you'll give me your support. Thank you, and good night." y They'd have to double the guard on the White House grounds. The American people will forgive a president many virtues, but talking sense isn't one of them. ( C ) 1 9 8 5 T R I B U N E M E D I A S E R V I C E S , I N C . Remember family or friends with Special Occasion, Get Well or Memorial cards. WE'RE FIGHTING FOR \OUR LIFE American Heart Association <P • J ; W CELEBRATE OUR 1st Monday thru Saturday, September 9-14 »--SPECIALS OF THE WEEK Vi PRICE ~ Full Slab BBQ RIBS $65° Alaskan King CRAB LEGS _$800 Reg. 12.95 ij Reg. 15.95 Memories worth more than ritzy wedding DEAR ABBY: Please print this tor "In Love in W.Va.," the two 18-year-old Christian^ virgins who want a big church wedding but can't afford it, so they came up with the idea of having a Dutch-treat wedding. They're charg­ ing $32.60 a couple and expect no gifts--just the money to pay for the wedding: Now is the time for you to learn a very impor­ tant lesson. What you can't afford, do without. A wedding you cannot afford is no way to begin a marriage. Someday you will realize that the things you can't afford are not worth the headaches that result from going into debt to acquire them, or asking other people to give them to you. \ I'm sure your friends do not want to pay for your wedding any more than you do. We had a $5 wedding 50 years ago. FRUGAL BUT SOLVENT IN CALIFORNIA DEAR FRUGAL: According to my mail, the Dutch-treat wedding idea went over with a dull thud. Read on: DEAR ABBY: To "In Loye in W.Va.": I've been married for 22 years, and whenever I see something we received as a wedding gift, I think of the giver. I cherish the rolling pin from a young cousin, and the rotary egg beater my late grandmother gave us. You can't put a price tag on memories. My husband's brother took movies during toe ceremony, and in front of the church wlme family and friends gathered afterwartf.^Wiat a priceless giftUi my life depended on it, I coujdn't name the peo­ ple who gave us money. My grandmother made fruitcake, and my mother baked our wedding cake, which a neighbor decorated. Family and close friends prepared the refreshments. We didn't have a band. We played taped music on a loudspeaker. If you are determined to have a church wed­ ding, you can do it. I don't believe churches make a profit by holding wedding ceremonies. Clothes can be borrowed or bought secondhand at a thrift shop. Flowers grow in gardens. Receptions can be held in backyards, parks, basements or church social halls. I'd rather accept a wedding invitation that was handwritten on a postcard than buy a ticket to a farce. ALICE C.HENGY, CARLETON, MICH. • • • DEAR ABBY: Many years ago I wrote to you from another city. I told you that I had a dream • job and also a dream boss to whom I was very much attracted, and the feeling was mutual. The problem was that he was married, and r felt that an affair was rapidly becoming in. evitable. You advised me to look for a job elsewhere saying, "You can't build happiness on the misery of others." It was the hardest thing i ever had to do, but I quit my job and moved out of town to work elsewhere. My heart ached for a long time, but finally I met and married a good man, raised a family and had a happy, in. teresting life. Last year, my husband died, and I went back to my hometown for a visit. Quite by chance 1 ran into my former employer. He was a widower! We started seeing each other, and the feeling between us is stronger than ever We are planning to marry soon. There were times over the years when I might have blam­ ed you for influencing me, but now I bless you because we neither hurt nor betrayed anyone to be together. Please keep telling people who lack the strength to do the right thing that happiness cannot be built on the misery of others. You are always saying someone made your day. Well, Abby, you've made my life! SECOND CHANCE DEAR SECOND: And you made this column a real upper. Love can be lovelier the second time around. MOLLY MILLIGAN Your Home Decorator Copyright 1985 Mllllgan Syndicate ft* t Bathrooms Join '80s decor with a splash Dear Molly Mllllgan: My bathroom is small and without any style whatsoever I detest the traditional, so-called "bathroom wallpapers" and accessories. Must I follow these trends? Sharon, St. Louis Dear Sharon: Along with the bedroom, the bathroom should be designed for your personal pleasure, comfort and relaxation. Therefore, decorate your bathroom in any manner that pleases you. Over the last few years, the bathroom has undergone a major change in style. For too long, it has been the most neglected room in the home. But today's bathroom is stepping beyond old frontiers and introducing an array of exotic and modern styles. Colors, patterns, materials and accessories that were once considered taboo or too bold are now appearing in bathrooms and powder rooms all over the country. Decorate your bathroom to satisfy your deepest need or your most fleeting fancy. Your bathroom must not only meet your physical needs, bu$ your aesthitic and spiritual desires as well. -Dear Molly Mllllgan: How can I rejuvenate a dated bathroom without getting Involved In a major overhaul? Rosalind, Dundee Dear Rosalind: All it takes to cure the bathroom blues is an imagina- 1-m/ADSWORK CLASSIFIEDS n • * * N N H w H N EE • ! Weekdays No Bargain Show ROJUTES 14 & 31 CRYSTAL LAKE EATING & DRINKING EXTRAVAGANZA 815-459*7234 EH a i * i w GHOSTBUSTER'S Fri. Only 5:25,7:30,5:40' Sat. Sun. 1:15,3:20,5:25, „ 7:30,9:40 JT _ Mon.-Thurs. 6.8:15 VBn DAY OF THE DEAD " • Fri. 5:45,7:50,10 . Sat.-Sun. 1:45,3:45,5:45, 7:50,10 Mon.-Thurs. 6:30,8:30 EUROPEAN VACATION __ Fri. 6.10; Sit. Sun. 1:50.6.10 !!<» Mon.-Thurs. 6 .. FRIGHT NIGHT Fri. 7:40; Sat. Syn. 3:50.7:40 Vj , Mon. Thurs. 8_ PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE Fn. 6:10.8.9:45 Sat. Sun. 2:30.4:20.6;10,8.9:45 Mon Thurs. 6:10.8 tion, a remedy that is easy on the budget. Most outmoded bathrooms suffer from inadequate storage space, worn surfaces and poor lighting. Many of these problems can be corrected yourself. Color is your greatest asset when it comes to giving your bath an instant face-lift. Don't be afraid to use color lavishly. A fresh coat of paint will change the look of your bathroom faster than any other decorating tip. Plastic-coated hardboard applied to badly worn walls in a shower stall will renew and protect. Easy stick-on vinyl tiles will bring freshness to other worn surfaces. There are inexpensive, easy-to-hang, pre-pasted wallcoverings with companion fabrics. Make it a labor of love and really save. Next, stitch up a simple cafe for the window and shower curtain. Use leftover fabric pieces to trim fingertip towels. Dear Molly Mllllgan: I built a tiny shower in a an alcove of my basement. I don't care for the look of a shower curtain. What else can I use that is Inexpensive? Bill, McHenry Dear Bill: Since your shower is built into a wall alcove, you can use a transparent plastic window shade to prevent spray. The shade can be custom-cut to fit any size shower and provides a smooth, clean look. Macintosh Means Business . . • i Whatever Business you are in the powerful and easy to use Macintosh 512 personal computer by Apple can now be combined with the powerful Jazz Software from Lotus. Jazz may be the only software you ever need. Analyze trends, develope forecasts, keep track of files and even communicate with other computers. All five programs in Jazz are "on line" and with Hot View can beeasily transfered and incorporated. SAVE $98000 Now on the Macintosh 512, Extra Disk Drive, Imagewriter, and Jazz (after rebate). 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