Ian Oliver Publisher Robert Glasbey Advertising Director Norman Alexander Editor Geoff Hill Circulation Director Teri Casas Office Manager Tim Coles Production Manager Yes the liquor stores should be open especially in the resort and holiday locations. What they really should do is make their prices semiâ€"competitive with the neighboring states. Tourists buy as little as they can due to exorbiâ€" tant prices. I wonder what the LCBO turnover rate is. The tories have been used to having a strong candidate in Jelinek and also a cabinet minister to help with any local issues that might arise. No matter who runs for the Conservatives this time out, it‘s unlikely they will be given a cabinet portfolio if the tories are returned to power. Conservatives. s Local tories were counting on incumbent highâ€"profile MP Otto Jelinek to lead them into another election. But with the resignation of Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Jelinek‘s decision to quit politics completely, the local riding association was caught offâ€"guard. Ever since Jelinek‘s announcement, they‘ve been scrambling to catch up to the Grits. Where once they thought they‘d only have to deal with some riding association business before acclaiming Jelinek as the candidate, they now have to go through the process of finding candidates. Former local politician Janet Mitchell has already declared her canâ€" didacy for the Conservatives and there has been much speculation about other entrants into the contest. Rumour has it that Ward 4 regional councillor Stephen Sparling will try his hand at federal politics but the real gossip has Oakville Mayor Ann Mulvale as a candidate for the tories. Money, apparently, won‘t be a problem for any candidate the local Conservatives elect here. Jelinek‘s profile and the strong riding assoâ€" ciation mean there‘s a hefty election fund ready to be tapped for the expected fall vote. The latest poll by Gallup, shows that if a federal election was held now, 39% would support the Liberals, 32% would vote Progressive Conservative, 13% would vote for the New Democratic Party, 7% would support The Reform Party while 10% would support other parâ€" ties. Even more amazing is the regional breakdown of these numbers. The PCs are actually running ahead of the Liberals in British Columbia, the Prairies and Quebec. The Tories run second to the Grits in the Atlantic provinces by 14% and by 19% in Ontario. The numbers are rising at what has to be seen as an amazing rate. The popularity of the Progressive Conservative party has increased by 3% in the last month alone. If you‘re a Liberal, this is pretty disturbâ€" ing stuffâ€"if you‘re an NDP supporter, it‘s diastrous. Not only that, they‘re also having to deal with electing delegates for the Conservative leadership convention. What is encouraging for the Conservatives, however, is the meteâ€" oric rise in their popularity since the prime minister‘s retirement announcement. Should the provinciallyâ€"run liquor stores be open for business on Sundays? @EDITORIAL Tories next ith the nomination Wednesday night of Bonnie Brown as the Liberal candidate for the federal riding of Oakvilleâ€" Milton, the scene is about to shift to local Progressive 467 Speers Road, Oakville, Ont. L6K 354 Classified Advertising: 845â€"2809 Circulation: 845â€"9742 or 845â€"9743 A sampling of the best answers will be published in the next Weekend edition of the Oakville Beaver. Do you think the Monarchy has any relevance to Canada today? All callers are allowed 45 seconds to respond and must provide their name, address and phone number for verification. Give us your opinion on this topic by calling §45â€"5585, box 5012. Ian Pollock Pup I‘m not making mock here. I‘m merely suggesting that it may be no accident that American students habitually place last whenever they compete in international student quizzes. It shouldn‘t be surprising really. The West German school year is a full two months longer than the North American one. Saturday is a school day in Japan and Korea. On the other hand, the average Canadian or American stuâ€" dent spends about 900 hours a year in class â€" and another 1,170 hours sitting in front of the boob tube. I‘m still not going on a rant about this. I merely offer it as a possible explanation for the kind of results Richard Lederer has been noticing. ot long ago, Rolling Stone magazine perâ€" formed a public service. It published a list of American colâ€" lege courses currently available, that, as the magazine phrased it "even your dog could pass". Students at a Texas university could enroll in a credit course called The History of Rock Music. Cornell University â€" offers Supervised Reading. Students at Pepperdine are signing up for Surfing. At _ Northwestern University it is possible to earn a credit by passing a course called Choosing a Life. MOM! DAD! GEt UpP! Language lapses becoming too common SCHOOUL / / â€"+~ Mister Lederer taught English at Lederer‘s students weren‘t a lot better when they applied their talâ€" ents to other academic disciplines. A biology student wrote: "there are three kinds of blood vessels: arterâ€" ies, vanes and caterpillars." "A man who marries twice commits bigotry." "When a man has more than one wife he is a pigamist." "Acrimony is what a man gives his divorced wife." What sort of student bloopers? Here‘s a cluster plucked from the work of four different wouldâ€"be scholars on the subject of love and marriage: "Having one wife is called monotony." St. Paul‘s School in Concord, New Hampshire for more than a quarter of a century. During that time he came across so many student bloopers in essays and test papers that he began to collect them. Having collected them, he decided to share them with the nonâ€"acaâ€" demic world in a book called Anguished English. "Without the Greeks, we wouldn‘t have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns Corinthian, Doric and Tronic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable.Nor did their grasp of the Renaissance seem quite comâ€" plete. "It was an age of great inventions and discoveries" wrote one student. "Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circuâ€" lation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcized the world with a 100â€" foot clipper." Ouch. Anguished English by Richard Lederer published by Wyrick and Company. Ah, but it‘s the student historiâ€" ans who really steal the show in Richard Lederer‘s blooper collecâ€" tion. Listen to one of them give a thumbnail sketch of Ancient Greece and Rome. A wouldâ€"be anthropologist explained: "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is." And a youngster who almost certainly won‘t cop the Nobel Prize for Chemistry insisted "H20 is hot water and CO2 is cold water‘ ... by Steve Nease