www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver Weekend, Saturday March 22, 2008 - 9 In the pink Relationships key to our happiness S ocial scientists have researched human happiness around the world. One of the most common conclusions that emerges is that, in addition to basic freedoms, support of family, friends, community and a meaningful role in life are more important to people than wealth. "Happiness" and "mental health" are often used interchangeably. They refer to a state of well being brought about by the choices we make in our lives. We are all involved in relationships about which we make choices each day through both our verbal communication and body language. There are common qualities of relationships that can promote fulfillment in our lives. Some of these qualities include respect, trust, honesty, effective communication, including assertiveness, intimacy (or a close connection), safety and security, and appropriate balance of power. These qualities apply to different types of relationships such as parent-child, sibling, teacher-student, employee-supervisor, girlfriend-boyfriend, or friendship. The success of healthy relationships lies in sharing and valuing these qualities. How do we know if the choices we make will foster healthy relationships and contribute to our overall mental health? Our feelings, physical sensations, and patterns of thinking can act as warning signs that an adjustment needs to be made. Paying close attention to our warning signs is important to our mental health. For example, when we feel rejected, we may develop a headache and experience thoughts like "I am not good enough." Our behaviours may then be to withdraw. We can choose to change our behaviours and spend more time with others. Time spent with others may assist us in changing our thinking to "I am enjoying the company of others," which can lead to feelings of happiness, and help eliminate physical pain. It is important to remember that while we cannot change the thoughts, actions/behaviours, or feelings of others, we can change our own. Feeling unhappy with our relationships can lead to suffering. Although suffering is part of life, it is also a warning sign that can drive us to action. We can choose to think suffering is an opportunity for growth, insights, and new meaning in our lives. We can take responsibility when our relationships suffer. We can choose our attitudes, behaviours, and patterns of communication. Our choices can lead either to a greater connection in our relationships or disconnect us from them. Habits that help establish connection in relationships can include respecting, trusting, listening, accepting, supporting, encouraging, and negotiating differences. Habits that disconnect can include blaming, nagging, criticizing, threatening, complaining, punishing, and using rewards to control the other person. The reality is that we enter relationships with our past experiences and beliefs, which can foster or challenge the quality of these relationships. A key aspect of mental health is knowing we have the ability to choose, create, nurture and maintain healthy relationships. -- Health Notes is prepared by staff of the Halton Region Health Department. LIESA KORTMANN / OAKVILLE BEAVER SHERIDAN THINKS PINK: Sheridan College Institute of Technology and Advanced Learning presents a $5,000 cheque to Karen Cook of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. Sheridan organized a Think Pink Week awareness and fundraising campaign. The school sold pink lemonade, pink flowers, pink candy floss, pink cupcakes and more. Taking part in the cheque presentation ceremony are, from left, Joe Henry, Sheridan Career Centre, Natalie Fasano, Student VP, Dr. Robert Turner, President and CEO of Sheridan, Martin Rutledge, student, Karen Cook, and Rob Till, Dean of Student Services. Get the facts on colorectal cancer Colon Cancer: Screening and Surveillance is a free public education seminar to be presented by Halton Healthcare on Thursday, March 27. After lung cancer, colorectal cancer is the second-highest cause of cancer deaths among Ontario men and women, having claimed the lives of more than 3,000 in 2007. Yet it is preventable and treatable if detected early. In fact, colorectal cancer can be effectively treated 90 per cent of the time if detected early, but only 10 percent of the time if caught in later stages. The seminar will take place at LeDome Banquet Hall, 1173 North Service Rd. E. (QEW and Trafalgar Road). Displays and refreshments will be available from 6:30 p.m. and the seminar will commence at 7 p.m. The seminar will be presented by Dr. Sudhir Pandya, a Gastroenterologist on Active Staff at Halton Healthcare Services, and is entitled Colon Cancer: Screening and Surveillance. 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