The Oakville Beaver, W e d n e sd a y F e brua ry 12, 2003 - B1 Tips for a romantic and memorable Valentine's Day (TF) -- From its earliest origins. Valentine's Day has been linked to love. Every February, the Romans celebrated a feast called Lupcrcalia with a ritual matching young, single men arid women.' Names were placed in a box and a draw ing was held. The couples randomly matched together were partners for a year -- after that it was up to them. The Valentine's Day gift you choose for your loved one says a lot about your relationship, so give something that has real meaning to you both, suggests Lillian Vernon, founder of the Lillian Vernon catalogs and www.lillianvernon.com. Gifts that come from the heart don't have to be expensive. Since the tradition al gifts of flowers or chocolates don't last, express your love in unique, memo rable ways: Put together a book of your favourite photographs, love letters, keep sakes and other cherished mementos from special occasions. -I The gift of togetherness is precious considering today's busy lifestyles. Arrange a romantic, last minute, surprise getaway. Take lessons together to share in each other's interests such as dancing, cooking or sailing. Hire a personal train er to inspire you to exercise together or spend the day with one another at a spa. Arrange for a night out at a theater and dinner at a quiet and romantic candlelit spot. J If you plan to propose on Valentine's Day, hide the engagement ring in a box of candy or at the bottom of a glass filled with champagne. Buy a pair of special champagne flutes and make a toast with your favorite bubbly. Then pop the big question. _l Jewelry is always a special gift for women. Buy her a heart-shaped locket and put a picture of yourself inside. Personalize the locket with your loved one's initials so she'll have something to wear that's hers alone. Package it in a heart-shaped box or tied to fresh flowers. J Give silk or glass flowers that will last forever. If your beloved has a green thumb, give a flowering plant that you can plant in your garden and enjoy year after year. J If you want to spend a romantic Valentine's Day at home, set the mood by sprinkling rose petals on your dining room table and in the bedroom. Place heart-shaped candles around your home to create an intimate ambience. J Make your own Valentine's Day card instead of buying one in a store. Compose a unique poem or expression of love that says "Be mine forever." J Bake something tasty and include a recipe for a successful relationship: one teaspoon of kindness, two tablespoons of patience, one dollop of respect and heap ing cupfuls of love. Serve it on a heartshaped platter that can be used yearround. Master the secrets of a loving, romantic marriage (M P S ) -- Valentine's Day tends to be an extremely romantic holiday. Amidst all the flowers, jewelry and other gifts given and received, it is essentially a time when couples reaf firm their love for one another. One of the best gifts you can give your sweetheart this holiday is to learn the patience that it takes to retain the " glow" that many couples maintain in their marriage for decades. Valentine's Day is a perfect time to be reminded of these special factors that can help ensure "happily-everafters." Modern Bride's Barbara S. Smalley offers a few dos and don'ts that many happy husbands and wives practice daily: 1. Maintain your friendship --·In a recent study, 3(H) couples who'd been happily married for 15 years or more were asked lo share the No. 1 reason for their marital success. Both men and women said, " M y spouse is my best friend." Keeping this friendship strong can be difficult when both partners work and quality time together must be scheduled. However, time together should be a priority. _l Learn to say no to social invita tions that w ill take too much time away from being together. J Time together does not have to be filled with nonstop activity. Friendships thrive on time spent doing nothing more than talking. 2. Remain intimate -- Intimacy is not necessarily synonymous with .sex uality. Over the years, you w ill re-cre ate the wild attraction you felt when really important to you and making trade-offs. And, it always means communicating openly and honestly with each other. Compromising won't work, how ever, unless both partners are willing to give and take. So, one key to com promising is to pick your battles care fully. When you can live with it. give in. Then, later, when something is really important to you, hopefully your partner w ill do the same for you. 4. Support each other: remember your commitment to each other -- It usually happens that when times are good, they're very good. When the bad times hit. there's a lot of blaming and complaining going on. Couples need to learn that all marriages have their ups and downs. 5. Have fun together -- Consider the following scenario: You and your spouse have both had a hectic week. the relationship was new, but your Now, it's Friday night, and both of ability to remain intimate w ill become you would love to rent a video and the foundation for your marriage. snuggle in front of the television. The rules for maintaining intimacy However, the apartment is a wreck, and friendship arc identical. To be and two weeks' worth of laundry is intimate, couples must make spending waiting. How would you wind up time together a top priority. Letting spending your evening? your spouse know your deepest feel Couples with a highly successful ings. hopes, thoughts and fears and marriage would choose the video over having your spouse respond with cleaning. Happily married people respect and love can mean the differ have a knack for finding ways to take ence between a rocky relationship and care of domestic business and have a rock-solid marriage. fun at the same time. 3. Learn to compromise -- When Keeping your sense of humour in couples are willing to compromise, the worst and best of situations is also they send each other a powerful mes vital. Laughing is a great stresssage: " I love you -- let's work this buster, and feeling comfortable to be problem out." Sometimes compro silly around each other is the ultimate mise means meeting halfway. bonding device. Sometimes it means deciding what's Be good to yourself this Valentine's Day Valentine's Day is about love, as we all know. Adoring, amorous, devoted, head-over-heels love. But, what about those who aren't paired up with a special someone? When the hoopla of Valentine's Day gets under way, it can be easy for single people to feel a bit left out. Well, the notion of self-love is somewhat familiar in our pop psy chology culture -- "You can't love anybody unless you love yourself first" is a popular mantra -- but. the understanding of self-love as a neces sary ritual is a rather foreign one. As Debrena Jackson Gandy states in her book, "Sacred Pampering Principles" (Q u ill), self-love and pampering is not about cramming more things to do in your already full life. " Simply put, pampering is orient ing your life around what brings you joy," she says. "Pampering helps you relate to yourself in a new and differ ent way -- a way in which care of self is a top priority. And a priority that doesn't arise out of selfishness but arises out of a place of healthy selflove and self-support." This Valentine's Day, grab a box of chocolates and use these tips from Jackson Gandy to embark on a fulfill ing new relationship with yourself. J Learn to love yourself -- Ask yourself. " What kind of things would I do if I were in love with the most wonderful person in the world?" You have to look within yourself for whatever it is you are looking for someone else to give you emotionally and spiritually. Quiet time -- Quiet time, or Q.T.. is time set aside with no talking or distracting noises. It gives your mind and body a break. Balanced liv ing necessitates silence to counter the effects of sensory overload that con temporary living gives us. J Creating sacred places -- To counter the effects of contemporary living, you need special spaces to take your body to relax. Seek at least two places or spaces you can designate as your sanctuary. It may be under a tree, on your patio, in a favorite lounge chair or a comer in the garden. Pampering tools -- Some of the suggested basics are candles, incensc, an incense burner, scented bubble bath and Epsom salts. Some other tools you might want to use include a body loofah, clay heel buffer, natural body sponge and essential oils. J Personal pampering -- When, what, how and where you choose to pamper yourself is as distinct and unique as you are. Compile a " What Brings Me Jo y" list -- it might include outdoor expe riences like hiking, watching the sun rise or set or bike riding; cozy, cuddly, stay-at-home experiences like snug gling on the couch with a blanket and a good book, or wearing silk or satin loungewear; creative, artistic experi ences like finger painting or coloring; or carefree, self-expressed experi ences like hosting a gourmet dinner or taking a nature hike under the stars. The possibilities are endless for making healthy, self-supporting choices every day. *S> HOPEDALE SHOPPING CENTRE is in th e WIN gift basket. D ra w to b e held Friday, F e b ru a ry 14, 2 0 0 3 . Romantic Helicopter Ride a for 2 with a co m p lim e n ta ry Ballots in store. N o 3rd Line & R ebecca 905 827-0229 - M onday to Friday 9 :3 0 a m Saturday 9 :3 0 a m - 6 :0 0 p m Sunday N o o n - 5 :0 0 p m H O U R S: