www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, May 28, 2015 | 16 T A couple at odds over the `swell season' of otherworldly asparagus ensions are running high around our house. You could say, we're steamed. Boiling over. Have been since the beginning of May. Will be until the end of June. If not exactly at war, my wife and I are indeed at odds. We're having our annual argument. Over asparagus. This isn't your typical she-loves, he-hates (or vice-versa) divergence of opinion and taste. No, we both love asparagus. Really, really love. We're overjoyed when asparagus season opens in Ontario, and crestfallen when That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor it closes. And don't even talk to us about how asparagus are nowadays available year-round. Hey, if those stalk-y treats had to board a Since 1967 Mid-Century Modern, Traditional or Contemporary whatever your style.... upholstery & design We can make it! SOFAS DRAPERY CHAIRS OTTOMANS HEADBOARDS 2345 Wyecroft Rd, #11 Oakville · 905.616.3156 · www.baiers.ca Sofas · Chairs · Headboards · Throw Pillows · Drapery & Hardware plane to get to our plates, they're obviously not local, and therefore nowhere near as awesome as what's currently available. No, these veggies are truly a spring ing, a May-through-June parade across the palate. Question is: how to prepare `em? And for how long? And to what consistency? Personally, I love them grilled. Brush with a bit of olive oil, lightly salt and pepper, toss them on a barbecue tray, then onto the grill. Cook for about 10 minutes, then rescue from the heat whilst they're still slightly crisp. Although I, long ago -- at the request of everyone who knows me -- quit forcing my taste preferences upon everybody, I will say that anyone who likes them done differently has boot leather for taste buds. Ah, but perhaps I digress. Speaking of boot leather for taste buds, let me now explain how my wife assassinates (er, cooks) asparagus. She steams them. Seemingly for days. Until the cows come home. Until they're certied asparagus-mush. Asparamush? Don't get me wrong, my wife is an incredible cook. She works culinary magic with everything, except you-know-what. Seriously, each time she purposely steams the life out of the asparagus, I'm reminded that she is Irish. And you know what comedian Denis Leary says about the Irish and their cuisine. "You know what Irish cuisine is, folks? We put everything into a pot and we boil it for 17-and-a-half hours. Until you can eat it through a straw. That's not cuisine, that's penance." "Lovely asparagus, honey," I intone, slurping down a heaping helping. "I didn't know we were having soup for dinner." Hey, I know what you're thinking: this is just a difference of taste, nothing to be at odds over, right? Wrong. I know we could just take a bunch of asparagus, divide in half, and prepare in two different ways: my wife's way, or what I like to call `the right way'. But no, we can't do that. Because it's become a matter of two stubborn souls asserting their will, each trying to make the other see the egregious error in his/her ways. Trust me: my wife will go gaga over asparagus grilled on the barbecue. Until then, we'll have to accept the tension in the house. For about four more weeks. At which point we'll be back on the same page -- reunited in our raging grief over the end of another swell season of otherworldly asparagus. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. Van Beek's Garden Supplies. GARDEN SUPPLIES VAN BEEK'S Serving GTA & surrounding areas FRESH SOD DAILY 905.338.5721 Au to Service · Scheduled Maintenance · Fuel Injection · Computer Diagnostics · Transmission & Clutches Accredited Test · Front & Rear End Work & Repair Facility · Electrical · Windshield Repair/Replacement · Shocks & Struts QEW · Air-Conditioning · Brakes Wyecroft · Tune-Ups JNB · Engines · Tires · Wheel Alignments · Oil & Fluid Changes Weller Ct. Get quality mulch, premium triple mix soil & landscape supplies from Van Beek's Garden Centre. Landscapers and homeowners have chosen our products such as our premium soil since 1962. All you have to do is order it and we'll deliver. Van Beek'S Premium mixed Soil | ToP dreSSinG Premium Soil GraSS Seed naTural STone inTerlock PaVerS SPecialTy mulcheS Auto Body ruS A uSed 0c d n 0A p From $2,0 www.jnbautocenter.com Dorval Dr. armour STone | FlaGSTone | Pond SuPPlieS | Firewood and much more If you're looking for quality products to help you make the most of an outdoor space, visit Van Beek's Garden Supplies at either of our two locations in Mississauga or Oakville: Oakville - Burlington - Milton Mississauga-Oakville-Etobicoke 2410 Lower Base Line Rd., Oakville 758 Southdown Rd., Mississauga Insurance Claims Collision Repair Auto Body & Paint 294 Wyecroft Rd., Oakville Monday-Friday 8-5 Saturday 8-1 1-866-778-5824 www.vanbeeks.com