T his is a hair-raising tale -- actually, hair-lowering -- that's sure to attract a lot of buzz. Coincidentally, that's how the tale begins, with a lot of buzz. And as an aside, let me just say, I fully blame Wayne Gretzky for that buzz. I'm not sure what year it was, but at one point in his illustrious career, The Great One sported a haircut that was neatly trimmed up top and buzzed at the sides. I can tell you this hairdo was all the rage among the cool kids, and upon discovering this hairstyle, I immediately told my barber I simply had to have a Wayner. Despite having come to Canada from Italy about 100 years previous, Barber Tony only knew about 17 words of English. Oddly enough, he thought I was asking for a wiener. I patiently explained the Wayner versus wiener, and then Tony's razor was off to the races. Frankly, I liked the cut. It was clean, low maintenance. In the mornings, I'd just wash it, give my head a shake and head out the door, no fuss, no muss, no precious time wasted. So, I stayed true to this `do' for longer than I care to admit. Then, a while back, upon my return from the barbershop, my wife let a secret slip. She said: we need to talk. I told her I was all ears, mostly on account of the haircut. Telling a hair-raising tale with plenty of good buzz That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 23 | Thursday, June 9, 2016 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com She told me she did not like my hairstyle. Never had. Never would. Too short. Too blunt. Too severe. Yikes. To discover your partner of more years than you can recall has been silently harbouring hate for your hair over all that time.... That night, as I cried my hair to sleep, I faced some tough decisions. I could leave my wife and go live a life of solitude, just me and my (slightly dated) Wayner. Or, I could grow my hair. A classic Sophie's Choice. In the end, I decided to stay with the haircut hater and grow my locks. Of course, as is my tendency, I went slightly overboard. I didn't just grow my hair. I grew the heck out of it. One day, I was a clean-buzzed man, the next thing I knew I had more hair on my head than Steve Carell has on his back. But I didn't stop there. No, I just kept growing it until I could barely support my unruly mop, let alone my gargantuan head with all that hair atop it. Finally, I relented and got a trim. I came home with a haircut that made my wife swoon. I mean, the gal was gaga over the all new me. I really didn't know what the fuss was about until I saw myself in the mirror. Hey, I have hair. Long, luxurious locks. Suf ce to say, I now spend most of my time staring at myself in mirrors, or seeking out still waters in which I can gaze upon my handsome, hirsute re ection. I take endless sel es of that marvelous mane, that incredible coiffure, those enticing tresses and text them to friends and enemies alike, or post them on social media sites. Honestly, I'm a damn pretty boy. OK, that might not be entirely honest. According to my kids -- because I refuse to put any `product' on my hair, or take the proper time to tame those enticing tresses, or blah, blah, blah -- I typically look like Albert Einstein. On a bad hair day. In a windstorm. And for any poor, unsuspecting soul who sees me, that can be a bit... hair-raising. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter.com/w. Interlocking & Concrete Specialists · Pebble Concrete · Stamped Concrete · Interlocking · Flagstone · Walkways · Garage Floors · Patios · Driveways · Curbs (French) Call Mario 905.842.7171 sunmarlandscape.com Know your goals so you can choose your investments. Marc Nutford - Financial Advisor 2387 Trafalgar Road, Unit E2, Oakville, ON L6H 6K7 905-844-4043 · www.edwardjones.com/marc-nutford Start planning your summer adventures with travel deals on hotels, vacation rentals, tours and more! Visit www.TravelAlerts.ca/YPA