6 Oakville Beaver Weekend Sunday August 20, 2000 T he O akville B eaver Ian Oliver, Publisher Neil Oliver, Associate Publisher Norman Alexander, Editor Kelly Montague, Advertising Director Steve Crozier, Circulation Director Ten Casas, OfficeManager Mark Dills, Production Manager Riziero Vertolli, Photography Director Metrotend Printing. Putfchng & Detributng Lid., ndudes: Ajax/Pctering News Ad\«rtBer. Alston HeraicLOxrer, Bane Advance. Barry's Bay TMs Week. Bolton Enterprise, Brampton Guardian. Burington Post. Burfngton Shopptog News. City Parent. G^ngwoodM&saga Connection. East Vbrk Mrror. Erin Adwxate'Country Routes. Etobicoke Guardian, Ramborough Post, Georoefcxvn Independent/Aton Free Press. Hurone Business Times. Kingston mis Week. Lindsay This Week. Markham Economist & Gun, Midland/Penetanguishine Mirror. Milton Canadian Champion. Milton Shopping News. Mississauga Business Times. Mississauga News, Napanee Guide, Newmarket/Aurora Era-Barrier. Northumberland News; North Mark Mirror. Oakville Bea/er, Oakville Shopping News. Okdtmers Hockey News, Onlia Today. Oshawa/Whitby/Clanrigton Port Perry This Week. Owen Sound Tribune. Peterborough The V V teek, Picton County Guide. Richmond Hill/Thornhill/\fcughan Liberal. Scarborough Mirror, StoufMlaAJxbridge Tribune. Forever Mxing, Gty of M arkGuarden RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: T H E OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL M EDIA SPONSOR FOR: 467 Speers Rd., Oakville O nt L6K3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 JiNqlt Bell Fund JV AUCTION United Way ol Oakville J T tfiO td iJ A w a r d 0 'T jh e © Oakville ^Awards FO R BUSINESS EXCELLENT Editorials Show dow n near Rather than heading back to school this fall, it looks like Halton and the rest o f Ontario are heading back into a labour dispute. H alton's public high school teachers, like their Ontario Secondary School Teachers' Federation (OSSTF) counterparts across the province, have over w helm ingly given their union a strike mandate. A possible province-w ide strike could happen before most school boards are scheduled to resum e teaching on Sept. 5th. W hile Larry C hud, president o f the Halton high school teachers' union local, says the strike m andate should help avoid a strike by giving the union a pow erful negotiating tool, w e're not as optimistic. Labour unrest at the start o f another school year is not new. In three o f the past four years, the beginning o f a new school year has been marred by possi ble labour strikes. T he te a c h e rs' unions and the province have been headed for a m ajor labour showdown for several years and this fall we may finally see it come to fruition. The teachers want im proved working conditions and higher wages, while the province wants to reduce educational spending by exerting more control over the teachers. In the past, the teachers have caused labour strife by withholding their tim e from extra-curricular activities. This worked well in the past because it put pressure on the school boards to settle and didn't cost teachers a cent. This tim e around, if they threaten to withdraw extra-curricular activities, the province will enact Bill 74 to force teachers to supervise after-school activi ties. Caught in the m iddle are students, their parents, and school boards who are pow erless against these two adversaries. The real live version of Theatre of the Absurd all it a blurring of lines, in particular the line between fact and fiction, betw een what is real and what is ridiculous. Or, simply call it a real, live version of the TTieatre of the Absurd. For starters, there's the trend that is being called "voyeur viewing" or "reality television." Falling into this category are shows like the block buster Survivor -- which is pulling in an astonishing 33-million viewers each week in television's off-season on the strength of a Lord of the Flies like deserted island survival premise, skimpy clothing, and a few colourful characters -- and the less popular Big Brother, which has isolated a bunch of unlikable strangers in a C house to see how they interact (at one point, CBS was lamenting the fact that there seemed to be more people in the house than were watch ing the show). Prior to airing, the producers and promoters of these shows insisted that the participants would soon for get that their every breath was being recorded by the multitude of cameras -- on the island, in the case of Survivor, and in Big Brother's house -- and, consequently, the shows would have an unscripted, real feel about them. But this never happened because we are offspring of the tele vision generation. We grew up with the medium and, make no mistake, we know when a camera is on. And, by gosh, we really know when a camera is pointed in our direction (just watch the fans at a Blue Jays' game go nuts when the Jumbo Tron cameras turn their way). Which is what makes these reali ty-based shows so ridiculously unre al. Particularly in the case of Big Brother, what we see each episode is amateurs trying to act, not-funny people trying to be funny, and every one mugging and hamming for the cameras with the obvious, blatant goal of becoming rich and famous and/or landing a contract to pose nude in some magazine. Meanwhile, as television (which is unreal) tries (and fails) to offer us fare that is real, from the real world come stories that seem strangely unreal. Confused? C onsider the lonely quest o f R obert G arside who hails from Britain and who calls himself The Running Man. Four years ago, The Running Man set out to run around the world -- about 68,000 kilome tres, or the length of seven conti- P u d B y S te v e N e a s e nents, returning to London some time in 2002. So what has this noble, epic quest earned him ? Fam e? Fortune? Or at least, a warm recep tion in each o f the 30 countries through which he has run. No. Just abuse. To date The run ning Man has been shot at in Russia, robbed in Pakistan, jailed in China and had lethal weapons pulled on him in Panama and Mexico. H e's also been spit on, sworn at, and used for target practice by stone throwers. And how 's this for unreal: a British biotechnology firm is market ing a brand of moist tissues soaked in the scent of 50 human pheromones, which are the little sweat molecules responsible for sex appeal. That's right, according to the com pany Kiotech, you can wipe one of its Xcite! facial tissues across your brow and become hopelessly irresistible to the opposite sex, within a radius of 12 metres, for up to 12 hours. Wow! And just to help you put once yo u 've becom e hopelessly irre sistible, U.S. drug-maker Pfizer Inc. is working on an inhalable version of Viagra that will work faster than the current pill form. Apparently the drug has already been tested on dogs. Predictably, once the drug was deliv ered via nasal spray, the dogs began to act like, well dogs. This is reality. And this is ridicu lous. And this is the Theatre of the Absurd.