Strongest are hurt most by depression from grief ometimes, it‘s better to have low selfâ€"esteem, fewer friends, less money, and weak family bonds. According to some new research, it is the people with the most inner strength, friends, family, and money, that get most depressed at the loss of a loved one. All these presumed advantages may actually work against you, makâ€" ing you more depressed, according to new research by psychologist Camille Wortman at the State University of New York, at Stony Brook. Her studâ€" ies on bereavement challenge the notions that we all go through similar patterns or stages of grief, such as shock, protest, and anger, depression, and then recovery. The stage theory doesn‘t explain why some people are substantially more or less depressed than others. Many researchers have thought that people‘s personality, social supâ€" port network, intelligence, and finanâ€" cial status, determine how well we cope with loss. But this was not true in Wortman‘s studies, presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Society in Washington, D.C., last summer. In two different studies, she found that there were no set patterns to grieving â€" people varâ€" ied across the board in how they felt after a loss, from being traumatized to showing very little effect at all. What does seem to effect a perâ€" son‘s reaction to the loss of a loved one is what Wortman called "a world view." A world view is a system of expectations and beliefs about yourâ€" self and the world; a system that gives purpose and meaning to what happens to you and in the world around you. 3055 Dundas St. W., Mississauga 6G07â€"4810 For some people, the loss can be incorporated in their world views; for others, however, it can shatter their assumptions about the world, which may lead to increased depression and other difficulties. For example, if you expected the person to die (prolonged illness, advanced age), believe that it is God‘s will, think that the person might be in pain and relieved to die, or think the person deserved to die, you will be better able to incorporate the loss into your world view. Ironically, the people who did the worst after a loss were those with the highest selfâ€"esteem, the strongest belief that they could handle any adversity, and the people who were most selfâ€"reliant. These people view the world as controllable, predictable, safe, so they were the hardest hit. They had the furâ€" thest to fall. They were the most vulâ€" nerable to uncontrollable or unpreâ€" Your Mirror Closet Specialists * Mirror Doors Walls s e 1 # Bevelled Glass Mirrors Hours: HC 4# Standard/Custom Shower Tub Enclosures 4# Glass Tables ® Custom Closet Organizers (Wood Wire) * Prompt Professional Installations FREE |Nâ€"HOME ESTIMATES Since 1971 dictable loss. Their whole system of beliefs ("world view") was shattered, as well as, experiencing the loss. The people best off were those for whom the loss makes sense because it fits their world view. They don‘t have to search for meaning. But few people are that lucky. In several studies, 70% to 80% of those who experienced the loss of a loved one were unable to make sense of the loss. Interestingly, an important finding to emerge is that those who would seem to be most resilient â€" young, white males with a high socioecoâ€" nomic status â€" are precisely the ones who got hurt the most by the crisis, at least initially. On the other hand, black people and the elderly were more likely to expect the loss or find meaning in it, and were hurt much less on average. The study does not, of course, sugâ€" gest it is bad to have high selfâ€"esteem, to feel like you can control what hapâ€" pens to you, and overcome adversity. Rather, it points out that such a world view is adaptive for some situations and not for others. It can help with getting a job or a promotion, but it will make it harder to cope with the loss of a child. Mon.â€"Wed. 10â€"6 Thurs. Fri. 10â€"9 Sat. 10â€"6 Sun. 12â€"5 MISSISSAUGA SHOWROOM HOME DESIGN CENTRE 2575 DUNDAS ST. W. \ § pudds® ©BMW. OAKVILLE BMW ANNOUNCES A 4 8%* FACTORY LEASE 318i4 DR $29PER MONTH Real learning, not just games. 6 â€" 14 yr olds * Lease based on a 318i 4 Dr. $299* per month, $6000.00 pre â€"payment, plus taxes, frezgh: P.D.E. Offer ends August 31"/94 or while supplies last. (COURSES DURING SCHOOL YEAR TOO) Choose AM/PM/Full Day/Weekly or Longer Camps from $89 CD Roms, Modems, Scanners, Windows, DOS, Math More! \2400 SOUTH SERVICE ROAD WEST 845â€"3577 "The Family Business That Service Built"