in si de ha lto n. co m O ak vi lle B ea ve r | T hu rs da y, S ep te m be r 19 ,2 01 9 | 36 NOW OPEN Register for Daycare and Preschool - Fall 2019 REGISTER NOW! 905-337-7225 P r e s c h o o l & D a y c a r e No Registration Fees! 609 Ford Dr. Unit 3-4, Oakville, L6J 7Z6 w w w . a l p h a s d i s c o v e r y c l u b . c o m Guitar, Piano, Drums, Vocal & Ukulele ratiuG ,smurD elelukU & MUSIC LESSONS Sign up toda y... Sign up toda y... Sign up toda y... Sign up toda y... • No RegistRat ioN Fees • No CoNtRaC ts • PRIVATE - oN e oN oNe • all ages wel Come • all levels av ailable, R to advaNC ed 905.257.3110 • theguitarworldoakville.com 380 Dundas St. E. at trafalgar Road in longo's Plaza 905.257.3110905.257.3110 • theguitarworldoakville.comtheguitarworldoakville.com Expert Service and World Class Repairs all la begib NNeR to advaNCNCed HUGE SELECTION OF GUITARS, AMPS, UKULELES, ACCESSO RIES & MORE! MuSical inStruMEntS MuSic lESSonS By Mark B. Borg, Jr, PhD The desire to be liked by others often drives our interactions. If, as adults, we are no longer as con- cerned with being liked as we once were, it is be- cause we have withstood all manner of rejection and have come to accept that not everyone is going to like us. But prior to developing this thick skin, we were children that desperately sought acceptance from our peers. And so, it is important to consider the harrowing emotional process that our own children are also enduring as they seek to build friendships. The road to friendship often involves anxieties and insecurities that are largely determined by the ac- tions and decisions of others. And while we can never control other people's choices, we can take responsi- bility for the role we play within our relationships. So, in order to help our kids build better friendships, we need to help them reflect upon the roles that they play within each of the relationships they seek. We can empower our kids to seek out and nurture better friendships by: 1. Encouraging them to take responsibility for their own behaviours, actions and inactions. When our kids own their actions, they encourage others to do the same. When everyone takes responsibility for the contributions they make within the relationship, they create bonds based on honesty and mutual respect. This is not a mere admission of wrongdoing but a risk taken in order to establish a sense of ownership of the relationship. This responsibility is not only for what goes wrong, but also what goes right (proper inven- tory). When we account for our part -- good, bad, and everything in-between -- it increasingly feels like our relationship. 2. Not engaging with jerks. Let's urge our kids to leave the jerks alone and seek out nicer friends. There is no better way to form a natural boundary than to avoid the mean kids altogether. If the way others treat us is unkind or unfair, we can decide to maintain our distance, thereby refusing poor treatment while choosing not to react to nastiness. 3. Admitting wrongdoing. Let's encourage our kids to be brave. No need to try to be right, especially when we are wrong. Refusing to admit to wrongdoing only unravels our relationships, causing resentment and irritation. But when we own our mistakes, we demonstrate to others that we are trustworthy and strong enough to deal with consequences. 4. Expressing feelings in thoughtful, deliberate ways. When we react to something that hurts our feelings without thinking about it first, we often act in ways that will be equally hurtful to others. But if we can help our kids learn to think prior to acting - to pause and ask ourselves "What was my part in what just went on?" - then we can help them to re- spond thoughtfully. This is done by asking our kids to "pause" before taking action. So, instead of hurling insults or resorting to physicality, they express their feelings verbally (rather than acting them out). 5. Accepting ourselves and others as we actually are. When we accept ourselves, we are more accept- ing of others. By helping our kids embrace their own flaws, shortcomings, and insecurities, we help them do the same for others. And few things are more wonderful than being seen and embraced for who we really are. We can teach our kids how to pursue this kind of empowered friendship even when they are very young. But they will only internalize it if they see us practicing these tactics ourselves. We have to show them how to pursue healthy friendships if we want them to do the same, and we can only do that if we embrace our need to be liked by others and seek out meaningful relationships ourselves. Help your child build better friendships at school Fall Registration Marian Montessori School 1265 Heritage Way Oakville ON L6M 2x7 (905) 827-8125 info@marinmontessorischool.ca marianmontessorischool.ca September 21 10am - 2pm Open House MARIAN MONTESSORI SCHOOL ESTABLISHED 1989