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Junk mail Part 2: the saga continues on a new front Last week's absorbing drama led us step by step through the glittering world of the Post Office vestibule. The tension rising as the key is turned, the box is opened and an Aladin's Cave of genuine junk mail pours into our outstretched willing arms. The hopes, the fears and the heart- rending, gut wrenching disappointment when realization sets in that the $25,000 prize is addressed to 'Dear Sir or Madam' and so it goes. I have one correction from last week, when I stated that the Junk Mail was always discarded neatly in the garbage bin and not thrown down on the floor in temper or disgust I stand corrected. Once every three years at Municipal Election time it is possible to see the odd flyer, the occasional handout on the floor. [ hopefully add that this is because the bin in question was full to over flowing with 'Normal Junk Mail' and simply couldn't cope with the excess. At least I think that's why. Anyway, how do you and I, gentle readers, qualify for this non-stop avalanch of bargains too good to miss, how do we get on the 'Mug --Ray Baker List' in the first place, and more importantly, how do we stay on it? Simplicity itself. Nineteen years ago a friend gave my name and address to a mail order company. They sent me a catalogue and I ordered about $30 of goods. I'm on the books. They in turn sold my name with others to a similar outfit, who in turn, ete., etc. I think the current price is around $4 per thousand names and addresses. So you can work out for yourselves how much each of us is worth to a mail order Company. Anytime I apply for a credit card seems to be followed by a flood of new mail after about four-to-five weeks so these people don't waste any time, except yours and mine. After about four years of one-way correspondence the ultimate letter arrives. That if you don't place an order from the enclosed '50 percent off every item in this catalogue' they will discontinue flooding vour mailbox. So what the heck, for three to five dollars your as back on the books, returning like prodigal son, and your name is sold again, etc., etc. Where else can you buy a spoon with a bend half way up the handle soit sits on the pan rim without touching bottom for only $2.49? It Saves you bending your own. Where else but in the Fabulous World of Mailorder can you acquire a dust pan that hinges in the centre so you fold it up and it empties into a narrow garbage can without spilling. For a special price of $3.99. A Kangaroo Mug, with a built-in ouside pouch for a used tea bag looks good, but what about left handers, one sip and you get the tea bag down your front, now if it only had two handles, one each side. A definite 'must' for you lady readers is a set of steel caps, or covers. You put these over the burners on your electric stove so that 'unsightly stains are not seen when company unexpectedly drops in.' What happens when the covers start to develop 'unsightly stains?' Or even worse, when the unexpected company goes straight to the stove and says 'I see you bought some steel covers to hide your unsightly stains.' 'HI, My Name is Sandra Bodnarchuk, I took a moment to place an order for some items I wanted, and without expecting it I WON $50,000. IT WAS SO EASY.' Then a blank photo frame and the question ARE YOU NEXT? hey I must get in on this one, what should I send for? That is the question, as Shakespear might have said. Shall I go for the ice tongs made out of a set of dentures 'Lots of Practical fun' at $2.99? Or, into the realms of high finance at $3.99 for a pillow which you a) unpack, b inflate with either hot or cold water, c) slij) inside your pillowcase and d) allow your tensions to vanish. ' No, the ultimate choice at $1.99 has to be a key ring, which also doubles as a 'Gas Pump Valet.' This rectangular shaped plastic piece is inserted under a gas pump trigger to keep the gas flowing and flowing and flowing. But enough! I must rush out and mail in my order before they cut me off. Again. The unhappy lifeof a Finance Minister at budget time y CAREY NIEVWHOF The tradition is that Consider : : : ' Canadians. Now over to No, it's probably the federal Finance wijson. He went talkingabout,andthisis i™agine, John Turner reporter on the spot you Joe..." Now really, much easier to be a Minister is given a pair through the somewhat his budget. In the school vee eerie ou ne an Opposition = what does the anchor gladiator in Ancient of brand new shoes to li ane - it within a short span o eader. . think the Opposition as wear when he delivers pepe tory alton of politics, | finance time as well. He led his Before the news Rome than it is to be the While the shoes are never in- his budget. hours of preparation. He even prepared a -Viewpoint Michael ministers are never right, and their budgets 40 followers halls of the Parliament into the anchor will hand things Leader is going to say about the budget? Finance Minister on budget day. You have : A to the reporter who has Does he really believe : tended for the following pudget. He redirected evil that ever affieated Dullding and the bab- the Opposition Leader ne "teSqer Mor tne feW friends every year purpose, I'm sure the funds toward the needy, man bling began. "Wilson standing by, he'll Qpposition will tell yoLcamnt vega ie tthe Finance Minister has placed a reasonable tax Ed Broadbent's this:--Wilson that... preface the handover Canadians that the 'media' and amongst considered using them on the middle class, hit immediate reaction mutter, mutter, mut- with an incredibly Finance Minister has anyone who happens to for running away. the upper middle class necessiatated an about 'T-.' They had the stupid remark. just handed down the have been hit by a tax Indeed, with what happens after a budget, they would make great get away boots for a beleaguered man who more often than not would love to flee the country. You've got to feel sorry for the guy. The Minister spends somewhat short of 40 zillion hours preparing the budget, and is then faced with the prospect of being roasted on a spit for the next month or so. and upper class with similar taxes. He Squeezed the corporate sector with all he could manage to do, and created a few incentives for small to medium face. Since, upon first examination he couldn't find any portion of the budget which slammed the poor, he had to move to defending the middle and upper middle class. standard spiel ready. All negative, nothing positive. It must be tough being a Finance Minister. It must also be strange. Regardless of the party affiliation of the Minister, they must all be baffled at how the media reacts. Reporters sit quietly while Wilson delivers the speech. The moment he's done, they Regardless of which network you tune into, you'll always hear the anchor pass things over to the reporter as follows: "And now, we get some Opposition reaction to the budget. It will be interesting to see what the Opposition Leader has to say about the budget...Whether he thinks the Finance Minister is heading in the right direction or if best budget in the history of the country? Does he believe that the Opposition Leader is going to say that the budget will solve every economic problem the country faces? Does he believe that the Leader will say the budget is headed in the right direction and that the Finance Minister's party should stay in hike. Even if in a year your budget measures bring unparalled prosperity, you are probably not certain it makes up for the abuse heaped on you during those first few post- budget weeks. If Michael Wilson or any other Canadian treasurer or finance minister disappears, look for footprints made size _ businesses. Broadbent had to do Seventy percent of his this. It fits with his deficit slashing motto: "Oppose measures focused on anything. Oppose all. cutting government At all costs oppose." So spending, only 30 per- within 20 seconds of cent on forms of completing the delivery taxation. Fair? Of of his budget, Wilson course not. This is the was under fire. Finance Minister we are As you can well begin instant summary the measures and recap. The next step is to go down to a right in the budget. are sending the signals to office forever? If he does, then that probably explains why he is an anchor. from brand new shoes. Brazil. They probably lead to School break activities at Mash March school break activities are being offered by the Wye Marsh Wildlife Inter- pretation Centre, on March 12, 13 and 14. The activities, nature crafts, scavenger hunt, films - are aimed at kin- dergarten through Grade 8 age children. March 12 is Junior Day, March 13 is Senior Day, and Friday is Junior / Senior half-day program. For reser- vations, telephone 526- 7809. Flos bridge will soon be replaced Flos Township workers will soon be getting ready to replace the bridge on Con- cession Road 2. Donald Bell, Flos Township Reeve, says that the road has been closed all winter because of the bridge that is in the process of collapsing. Bell added that the Engineering plans have been approved and that a request to the Ministry of Transportation and Communications has been made asking for help in funding the $75,000 dollar project. Midland law makers meet Monday, March 10 Midland law-makers meet in council chambers of town hall on Monday, March 10 for a regular monthly (public) session. Meeting is set for a 7:30 p.m. start Ultrasound machine IS put to good use : Thanks to members of the Auxiliary to Huronia District Hospital, HDH's $80,000 ultra sound machine is fully paid for. Of the overall cost, the Auxiliary paid $50,000 of the $80,000 price tag for the machine which has now been fully operational at the hospital for the past two years. The machine tests on average 120 patients per month, reports Gord Key, HDH administrator. Auxiliary to the hospital is celebrating its 80th anniversary this year. Benefit dance raises almost $400 for cause Almost $400 was raised in a benefit dance held on Friday evening at the Royal Canadian Legion Branch 68, for a Penetanguishene family who lost their home in an early morning blaze in February. The evening of music and games of chance was organized by Keith Kennedy, to help Ron and Eve Desroches and their family, was attended by about 100 people. The great groundhog search to be renewed at Marsh Millie, the groundhog, where are you? Now that six weeks have passed since Groun- dhog Day, Wye Marsh naturalists are now sear- ching for her again. Hopefully, during the 2:30 p.m. walk on Sunday, March 9, at the Wye Marsh Wildlife Centre, Midland, visitors will find signs of Millie. According to staff naturalist, Bridget Lauren, groundhogs are now looking for each other rather than their shadows and the likelihood of seeing one while on a snowshoe hike are good at this time of year. March officially comes in (Sat.) like a lamb March officially came in like a lamb on Saturday and is expected to leave March 31. Saturday dawned to clear blue skies and rather warm temperatures. St. Margaret's will remain open during Lenten season During the Lenten Season, St. Margaret's Roman Catholic Church in Midland will remain open each evening until 9 p.m. for Lenten Devotions. Every Wednesday a Bible Vigil will be held at the church. --North Simcoe -- --News briefs Midland library gets $1 every francophone According to the 1981 census, 4.9 percent of Midland's population of 12,132 was francophone, Accordingly the Midland Public Library is getting in 1986, $590 from the Ministry of Citizenship and Culture, to buy French-language books and materials. According to the same Ministry news release, © 10.7 percent of the population served by the Essa Township Public Library is francophone, and 1.8 percent of the population served by the Barrie Public Library is francophone. Those two libraries accordingly will receive $1,470 and $695. No other Simcoe County libraries are listed. A library receives one dollar for each fran- cophone citizen. Minimum funding to an eligible library board is $500. Eligible are libraries within designated French-language francophone com- munities and areas with significant French- language populations. In its second year, the provincial French Language Library Collection Development Program will provide $416,000, or 11.5 percent more money than in its first year. Blood donor clinic March 19 Huronia Branch of the Red Cross will be staging its next blood donors' clinic this month. It will be conducted at the Yonge Street Civie Centre in Midland on Wednesday, March 19 from _ 12 noon to 8:30 p.m. This month's target is 350 pints of blood. Port Severn area man to appear in Bracebridge A Port Severn area man, who was charged by Midland OPP late in 1984 in connection with a fatal Oct. 24, 1984 house fire which took the lives of two young Honey Harbour area sisters, is to appear during the Spring Assizes in Bracebridge which begin March 17. Neil Lamoureaux was remanded in custody after his arrest. He was committed last year in Huntsville Provincial Court to stand trial during the Fall 1985 assizes however the matter was put over to this year following debate as to whether he should have been charged with first or second degree murder. Winnifred O'Hara The death occurred on Feb. 14, 1986, of Win- nifred Hazel O'Hara of Quebec Street, Midland. She was 66 years of age. She died suddenly in Huronia District Hospital. The daughter of George Trewin and Lizzie Traves Trewin, a Muskoka District Native, married Arthur (Pat) O'Hara on Dec. 31, 1940, in Midland.- Her husband, son Arthur Lawrence (Larry), daughters Patricia Ann (Pat) (Mrs. Don Morrison) of Midland, Heather (Mrs. Ed Bouvier) of Sun- nyside, Joan (Mrs. Arnel Moreau) of Midland, sisters Mary Dawe of Midland, Ruby Herron of Collingwood, and Violet Weatherell of Midland, and nine grandchildren, survive her. Immediate family members Frank Trewin, Caroline Chapman, and Fanny Larocque, predeceased her. Rev. Brown officiated at the funeral service held Feb. 17 in the Lynn Funeral Home. Interment in Lakeview Cemetery. Ken White, Ernie Trewin, Frank Dawe, Bill PaLasocque, Steve Weatherall\and George Weatherall were her pallbearers. Tuesday, March 4, 1986, Page 7