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~~ Editoriais Perfection prime minister's goal I'll bet you that Brian Mulroney wakes up some mornings wishing he was a barrel of oil or the Canadian dollar. This may sound strange to a normal mind and, in fact, it is. But you see, being either of those just may be the key to being a perfectly successful politician. Don't worry, here comes the explanation. Brian Mulroney is obsessed with the media. He wants to be the perfect prime minister. As the media is well aware, he tries far too hard to do that. As a result, the media is far too suspicious of Mulroney's actions and is always hunting for hidden motives. Mulroney knows this, and as a result, he is constantly trying to look squeaky clean. The end result is a never ending battle in which our prime minister looks for excuses and the media disbelieves anything he says. The perfect solution to this problem is oil and our dollar. Oil and the dollar always act very strangely on the world markets. They are up one day and down in value the other. There is always an excuse for it. One day, money experts will predict that the dollar will soar in value over the next week. If in five days, it drops a full cent in value, the money experts will have an excuse. It could easily be something like this: "The Canadian dollar did not take an ex- pected jump in value this week due to Boli- vian banana exports. Money traders found markets glutted with inflated Bolivian dollars, and, consequently, American traders sold off British pounds by the thousands. This caus- ed Soviet wheat exports to rise considerably, altering the Bolvian-Soviet trade deficit. As a result, the Canadian dollar dropped a full cent in value." Now, the reporters, so confused by all this double speak, will not admit their own ig- norance of the-money markets, and as a result, accept the money market's explana- tion of the dollar's fate hook, line and sinker. The same applies for oil prices. Since nobody really understands how Arab oil cartels fall apart, reporters accept wholesale explana- tions for the drop in world and and Canadian oil prices. The lesson Mulroney should hope to learn from the dollar and oil is simple: be complex and baffle people. If you can talk way over the heads of reporters, then you stand a much better chance of avoiding their wrath. Pierre Trudeau was good at this in one sense. He told reporters that he didn't care what they thought of him. As a result, most liked him. Mulroney tried to tell reporters that he was in love with them. Reporters sensed that they had the prime minister eating out of their hand and loved it. Mulroney soon began to goof up though. There was tuna and a whole bunch of ministerial resignations, and reporters watched Brian's attitude change. He became defensive. He tried to appear lily white while sitting in a mud puddle, and it didn't work. The more he insisted he was innocent, the more reporters suspected his guilt. Mulroney must learn that his constant at- tempts to look perfect only make observors further question the value of his self-installed halo. This dilemma has him in a very awkward position. He is beginning to figure out what has happened to him, but he can't find a way out of it. This makes the Canadian dollar phenomenon look very appealing. Mulroney would love to pull the wool over the eyes of the reporters when necessary. Un- fortunately for Brian, that may never work. His reputation has been soiled. Had he ap- _Letters peared too tough to figure from the start, the dollar phenomenon might have worked. He could have been very good at baffling had he started right away..At the first sign of trou- ble, he should have said: "Well, the deputy minister's staff respon- sible for that program failed to anticipate the rush of activity following our government's move. The interest generated was over- whelming, and considering past records, the cabinet's repsonse to certain demands was more than welcome. The problem was something we hadn't expected. It's fixed. What's next on the agenda?" Reporters, con- fused. by the prime minister's generalities, would latch on to "the problem's fixed'. Mulroney would have already disciplined the Carey Nieuwhof parties involved in the mistake, so probing reporters would find things operating as usual. Had Mulroney acted quickly, professional- ly, and not made tons of specific excuses with each mistake he's made, this new approach may have worked for him. That, however, was not the case. Brian did blow his chance. His self- installed halo became a self-inflicted wound, and the press now suspect him of everything and grant him nothing he didn't earn. Mulroney's yearnings to be as immune from criticism and close scrutiny as the Canadian dollar are all fantasy now. He has only one option left - to tell the truth. As we all know, the truth very often hurts. PTA president thanks parents I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the Grade 7 mothers from Parkview School for helping to make this years Grade 8 Graduation such a success. They were responsible for the preparation of the food for the evening and they all did a marvelous job. I would also like to give a special thank you to Muriel Barker who took time out of her busy schedule in order to spend the day at the school with myself to get all the prepara- tions done for the evening. Her help was greatly appreciated. To all of the staff at Parkview School, thank you for your cooperation throughout the 1985-86 school year. Congratulations to the graduating classes and good luck for your continued success. To the staff, students and all parents of Parkview School, have a safe and enjoyable summer. Bonnie Bruening Parkview School P.T.A. President Big Sister tips hat to merchants The Big Sisters Association of Huronia would like to extend a special Thank You to all the local merchants, listed below, who donated prizes and materials to our Provin- cial Conference. It is so beneficial that we know we have your support in the service we provide for our community. To offer a bit of information about the con- ference: It provides an opportunity for Big Sister Agencies from all across Ontario, and in this instance a representative from Edmon- ton and Indianapolis, to get together to learn and converse about our personal agencies to see how we can provide better service in the work that we do. Such topics of workshops available are as follows: Stresses of Intimacy, Human/Animal Bond, Streetproofing, Pornography, Legal Con- cerns, Children of Alcoholics, Middle Class and White, Adolescent Suicide, What Do I Give My Litle Sister, Creative Photography. Teenage Pregnancy, Foundation Fundrais- ing, Affirmative Action, Outdoor Activites, Coping Strategies For Stress, Triangulation versus Strangulation, Superperson Syn- drome, The Task Of The Volunteer Board, Volunteering - What's In It For Me, Family Violence. The facilitators of these workshops, we would also like to Thank for their time and special concerns regarding these subjects. If anyone would like more information about these subjects, please contact Big Sisters in writing at the forwarding address. Thank You to the Staff of Geneva Park for their excellent services! Also to our own Sue Blake and Mena McGill for their participa- tion on the Conference Planning Committee! Last, but definitely FIRST, a most deserv- ed Thank You to all our Big and Little Sister and Board Members for it is they who make Huronia Big Sisters Association a Special Community Service! List of Merchants: Midland Printers, John L. Shewfelt, D.C. U-Bag-it Bulk Foods, Chris Wind, Vincent Hair Design, Inn at Bay Moor- ings, Bayshore Travel, Ableman Cleaning, Penetang/Midland Bottling Co., Redwin Graphics, Georgian Bay Rock Candles, Kinetic Films, Michelle Mink. Sincerely, Theresa M.McConkey --Penetanquishene Citizen-- Published by Bayweb Limited every Tuesday at 74 Main Street, Penetanguishiene, Ontario 549-2012 Second Class Mai! Registration Number 2527 Page 6, Tuesday, June 24, 1986 Junk shelf Last weeks cliff-hanger escalated from the concept and design of a Junk Shelf at eye level in the kitchen right through to the final placement of pots, pans, casserole dishes (with lids) assorted wineglasses and valued 'Object De Art'. Now comes the junk, or I should say the valuable items of everyday life 'temporarily' stored there for instant access. Eyes down for a full house (that's a full shelf) Starter Kit. Minimum Requirements. To be placed, at random, over a period of time as the spirit moves, or as Mom moves 'em, whichever comes first. On the shelf between the Pots and Pans. One half used roll of 2 inch wide masking tape. One carefully folded empty brown paper bag marked with a felt pen 'Grab Bag 25¢', one paper aeorplane minus tail section but complete with rubber band and a modified paper clip to secure same in posi- tion. NOTE where girls are present in the family this item may be substituted for a 4 inch miniature doll with either head or one leg missing. One small Doctors Bill (the bill is small not the Doctor) under the extra billing system it is currently in a holding pattern depending on the whether. Whether I'm going to pay it now or after I get the cheque from O.H.I.P., one green child's plastic car (the car is green not the child). One large fish hook made painstakingly into a lure with a twist of white wool and firmly bound together with strong white cotton. This item is believed to be en- route to a fishing tackle box. One self-adhesive name tag bearing the Legend 'Hello My Name is ..... This is hid- den at first glance under a tape cassette bear- ing the handwritten title of 'The Kiss of Death' believed Circa 1975. Two ball point pens, one of which actual- ly works. Three pencils, of which only two require sharpening and to complete the ensemble a pencil sharpener and two paper clips. Ray Baker Inside The Pots and Pans This is optional, but we tend to check in- side from the largest to the smallest in descending order. One ladies wrist watch in excellent work- ing order with one broken strap. 2 concrete nails, 4 inches long (the nails are steel but designed to go into concrete), one broken pencil and the tube of model glue to fix the tail section referred to earlier.' There is no sign of the actual tail unit itself, it may be in the junk drawer. 3 pairs of sunglasses, 2 unisex, 1 female. One tube of liquid lens cleaner (the lenses are not liquid, the solution is), three 'Spiderman Decals', a K-Mart Magicwagon Lottery-Ticket and a paid dentist bill marked 'Paid by Che- que'. This is held down with a heart shaped object made of paper proclaiming 'Happy Valentine'. Two more pairs of sunglasses, aviator type, one encased in a holder 'Huronia Optical'. The next pan is empty. This has either been recently used and the contents dumped in the junk drawer, or if time was pressing we may have eaten the former contents in a dish of meatball stew. This mystery is insoluble. On lifting the lid of the six position egg poacher a veritable alladins cave was expos- ed. Due to the shape and placement of thé in- dividual poachers this utensil lends itself very easily to the following: (listed clockwise). Eighteen paper clips, 73 cents in Canadian Tire Money, a key ring with a school photo in it. One eraser, and a shirt button missing since last fall. . Wine glasses are almost too easy. Ideal for memos, thumbtacks, spare staples and a tiny bottle of touch up paint for a car we no longer have. And that's it folks. I've run out of space again in more ways than one. Have fun. THIS WEEKS QUOTE: 'Mom have you seen the crazy glue, I know I put it somewhere safe?' Ray Baker and his family live in Pene- tanguishene. He is a freelance writer who saves things. Pubiisher: Andrew Markle Manager: Judy French Editor: Michele Gouett Dear Editor: Hopefully this month the Council of the Towns of Penetanguishene and Midland will be passing a motion declaring the months of July and August as Tie-less months. Tie-less months are aimed at bringing relief to the many male workers of the community who wear a tie as part of their regular dress. With the nice weather we experience during July and August it does not seem very prac- tical to have to wear a tie to carry out business. As our area is filled with tourists in various forms of dress during these months it is unlikely that they would be offended to be Hope for 'tie-less' months served by someone not wearing a tie. It is hoped that businesses in the communi- ty, particularly those who have a large number of white collar workers will join in the spirit of the event and allow their employees to go tie-less during the months of July and August. Perhaps the Chambers of Commerce of the two communities could promote this theme throughout their membership. Yours truly ~ D.J. McNee, Manager, Canada Employment Centre Mountainview Mall Letters Member The Penetanguishene Citizen welcomes Letters' | to the Editor. They mist be legibie, signed '= hand), and carry th: writer's address «, 'telephone number for verification. Pen names are not allowed and ancnymous letters will not be published. Letters published by this newspaper do not necessarily reflect the opinion fw this newspaper, its publisher or editor.