Atwood Bee, 11 Jul 1902, p. 3

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only a buffer," he added, a trifle wear- fand in office, and whom they know I ean't appoint, and I am expected to wave the politicians the trouble of turn- ing them down." Forty years ago Herbert Gladstone, 'who was married recently, was ad- dréssing a women's suffrage meeting in Leeds one afternoon, and in the course of his speech he paid a graceful compliment to the eloquence of the wo- men who had addressed the meetihg. He further gallantly remarked on the great pleasure which it gives the other sex to listen to women talking. Paus- ing for a moment after this observa- tion, Mr. Gladstone, like his audience, 'was thrown into an unexpected state of merriment by a male voice, which proceeded from the back of the hall, and proclaimed in the broadest York- shire dialect: "Eh, Jad, ¢thou'rt noan wed yet, I see'st!" There is a characteristic story of Mr. Rhodes which runs as follows: When fhe was in Rhodesia suffering from the first attack of the disease which ult mately led to his death, he was iying thinking of Groot Schuur, his beauti- ful home, upon which he had Javished thousands and thousands, until it had fecome something between a treasure house and a country palace. As he 'was dreaming thoughts which might have been set to the tune of "Home, Sweet Home," an official came to him and said: "I'm afraid I have some very bad news to tell you." Mr. Rhodes sat up. "Bad news! What is it? Out with it, man!" "Groot Schuur has been burnt to the ground," said the official; "and nearty everything has been destroyed." "Thank God!" said Rhodes, sinking back with a sigh of relief. "I thought you were going to tell me that Jameson was dead. Senator-elect McCreary of Kentucky fs said to be a fine campaigner. When the goes the round of his district he kisses all the babies, praises the cook- ing of the housewives, judges the cat- tle of the farmers, and adapts himself to all circumstances. On one occasion he arrived at the house of a farmer after supper hour, and when the good woman of the house insisted on getting thim something to eat, he refused to al- low ther to go to any bother, and said he would take anything cold that she had. She told him she had some cold ham and cold ®iscuits, and would "Never mind warm- madam," sald Mc- Creary, "I prefer it cold." Next morn- éng at breakfast, so the story goes, the tady handed him a cup of sickly fooking liquid, saying: "Governor, you seemed to enjoy the cold coffee so much I 6aved some for your break- fast." Lincoln was once arguing a case against an opponent who tried to con- vince the jury that precedent is super- for to faw, and that custom makes things legal in all cases. Lincoln's re- ply, given in Miss Ida Tarbell's life of the great war President, was one of his many effective dnalogies in the form of a story. Lincoln told the jury that he would argue the case in the same way as his opponent, and began: "Old Squire Bagly, from Menard, came into my office one day and said: 'Lin- coln, I want your advice as a lawyer. Has a man what's been elected justice of ithe peace a right to issue a mar- riage Ncense?' I told him not; where- upon the old squire threw himself back in his chair very indignantly and said: 'Lincoln, I thought you was a lawyer." Now, Bob Thomas and me had a bet on this thing, and we agreed to let you decide; but if this fs your opinion I don't want it, for I know a thunderin' sight better. I've been a equire eight years, and have done it all the time.'"' Quick and Effective. Panic-stricken, the stage manager rushes to the chairman of the school entertainment committee, "The hall is on fire!" he exclaims. "If we tell the audience there will be a riot, and many wilt be killed in the rush to get out. If we do not tell them, they will all be burned. Oh, what shall we do?" Now, the chairman Is a man of cool- ness and ingenulty. Stepping quietly before the curtain, Re says: "Ladies and gentlemen, we will next be entertained by Miss Winnie Wur- deigh, the well-known elocutionist, who will render 'Curfew Shall Not Ring To-night.'"" As by magic the audience filts from the hall, one by ene, until naught but the empty seats is left to satiate the furious appetite of the red demon.-- "Judge." Too Much For the Sheriff. An Irish widow with a quick wit one day received a call from ea sheriff who had a writ to serve on her. According to the "Pilot," the widow saved the day "You don't understand me. You must proceed to rey ahd said the sheriff. , I know 'tis leap-year, but I prefer to let you do the courting your- self. Men are much better at thet than gvomen." "Mrs. Phelan, this is no time for foole fng. The justice is waiting." "The justice waiting! Well, then, & suppose I must go, but the thing ts so sudden, and, besides, I'd prefer a priest to do it." ------ Interesting Items, The o Germans, having no native sup- ply of petroleum or natural gas, have sought a substitute for those fuels in alcohol, which they can produce cheap- ly from the potatoes that luxuriate in the sandy plains of their country. The result was seen in @ recent exhibition of the industrial applications of alco- hol at Berlin, where were shown alco- hol-driven motors r stationary en- gines as well ds for automobile car- riages; portable alcohol engines for farm work; domestic utensils, such as fiat-irons, heated by alcohol; alcohol cooking ranges, ett. A curious check was presented to the cashier of one of the Tonawanda banks recently. This check, which was for $10, was made payable to "the sweetest ef the sweet," and was presented to the cashier in tthe ordinary way. The cashier, naturally startled by the un- the 'sweetest of the sweet?'"" replied the lady. "Kindly endorse it that way," said the cashier. She did. And, es her husband's account war- ranted it, for, like a prudent man, he had not overdrawn it, "the sweetest of the sweet" received her money. Mg notion thas long been held that i the composi- tion of animal "flesh, which led to it being called the "vegetable beefsteak." It appears, however, that this conclu- sion has been based on some analyses made many years ago when analytical methods were not so exact as they are now, and when the chemistry of food was not so well understood. In the light of modern enquiry, there seems to be no reason for believing that mush- rooms possess any greater food value than other ordinary fresh vegetable foods, and in many respects they com- pare unfavorably with them. Professor Simon Newcomb in a re- cent address called attention to the immense range of difference in the brightness of the stars when the sun is taken for a standard of comparison. Some of the stars emit only one one- hundredth as much light as the sun emits. Others emit a thousand times as much light as he does. Indeed, Pro- fessor Newcomb thinks there are at least two stars, each of which Is pro- | bably 10,000 times as bright as the sun, whicb signifies that if either of those stars were as near to us as the sun is, it would outshine him 10,000 times in brightness, The two stars are Canopus, which is in the southern hemisphere and invisible from our part of the earth, and Rigel, one of the two brightest stars in the constellation Or- ion. The announcement that the young 'women of St. Joseph's Church, Hobo- ken, N.J., recently instituted a novena to St. Joseph to obtain for themselves husbands has provoked some mirth in the dally press And yet, comments the Pittsburg "Observer" (Roman Catholic), "there was nothing cut of the way in that." The same paper adds: "It is better to ask the help of God through the intercession of the saints than to go to parties in winter end to seaside resorts in summer in the hope of catching beaux. There ig noth- ing improper about the hely sacrament of matrimony, and every young woman with a vocation to the married state, has a right to expect heavenly aid In her search for a proper helpmate." Explanatory. The efforts of the omniscient school- boy immortalized by Macaulay to find suitable replies to the painful questions put to him by his unfeeling instruc- tors are often a source of considerable often that a boy succeeds in produc- ing anything quite so delightfully -cyn- {cal as the following answer to the question, "What is meant by the three ages of man?" The first age of man is when he thinks abcut all the wicked things he is going to do when he ls grown up. This is called "Innocence." The second age is when he does all the wicked things he had thought of in childhood. This is called '"'The Prime of Life." The third age is when he re- pents of all the wicked things he did in the prime of life. This is called "Dotage." On the Jury. Ex-Governor Leslie M. Shaw of ir "the new United States Secretary of 'the Treasury, practised for many years at the Iowan courts. The fol- owing is one of the many good stories 'He tells: A boy of about fourteen had been .put in the witness-box, and the opposing counsel examined him as fol- ows: "Have you any' occupation?" "No. "Don' t you do any work of kind?" "No, " "Just loaf around home?" "That's about all" "What does your father do?" any | matter of politics, home | silent and distrustful as | papers were removed. amusement to the latter, but it Is not | we a matter of fact, isn't your er a worthless fellow, pinion! can. a pepe ke don't know, sir; you'd better ask bia. He's sitting over there on the jury." Bernard Shaw will have the against the use of the apostrophe. thas himself dropped it out of Meike "dont" and "shouldnt'--but not out of "he'll--before he wrote his protest in "The Author." But why all these in- verted commas, "the silly trick of pep- pering pages with these uncouth dacil- H?" You will find none of these bacilli in the Bible. Take this passage, chosen at random: Now Jesus knew that they were desirous to ask Him, and said unto them, Do ye enquire among your- selves of that I eaid, A little whils, and ye shall not see me; and again; #) little while, and ye shall see me? The modern compositor would set that passage between two brackets of in- verted commas, for it is @ quote with- in a quote. But it is beautifully clear as it stands. And among all Biblical misunderstandings, no one we think has been misled by the ebgence of an inverted comma. The Negotiations at Pretoria. Bennett Burleigh, the well-known cor- respondent, writing while the Pretoria "hegotiations were in full swing, gave his newspaper, The Daily Telegraph, a vivid sketch of the bargaining, from which a cuuple of extracts may be made :-- The delegates evinced little surprise during their railway journey at the evti- dences of the resumption of industrial pursuits in all directions, as if 'there was neither war nor unrest in the country. In conversation they betrayed no special interest upon any topic except in the and foreign. They were polite enough, but evidently red Indian chiefs, of whom they put me more than once in mind. Officers and _ civilians who in kindness tried to engage them in a chat found it dull work and gave up the attempt. They were taken to a stirring polo match in Pretoria, but they paid little heed to the game, and only answered now and then with a"Ja; Jal" On the railway journeys they read little, passing the time for the most part in smoking, talking to each othér, and drinking. Poor Mr. Steyn seemed more down on his luck than any of the others on the way to Pretoria. He was nerv- ous and out of sorts, and as he stepped out of the train his hat fell off more than once. is eyesight is very bad --worse than I thought it. There is something more seriously wrong than an ordinary cold and inflammation. A local medical man was called in and is pre- scribing for him. Within a few minutes of their arrival each party was convey- ed to a temporary residence. Sentries were placed at the gateways of their abode. The soldiers in ques- tion were drawn from the escort or guard of honor. It was conceded that the Boers could see whomsoever they wished, or.go where they willed, in com- pany of an officer. ~The only under- standing was that the\delegates, unless by express consent, should not discuss politics or the war with their visitors. Scores of female relatives and a few of the sterner sex could be seen walking about daily in the garden or lounging upon the verandahs and balconies chat- ting with the Boer leaders. Delarey had visits from his daughter, who resides with her husband is Pretoria, as well as from old burgher friends. Doubt and suspicion clouded the Boer General's mind as they did those of his colleagues, destroying frankness an easy, inter- course. word Kitchener, who surely is a di ie. matist as well as a soldier--and he had varied experience-in both cupacition, at least, in Egypt--received the delegates at his residence. ' With studied care the large drawing- room for his work was tidied up, and many of the maps, books, pictures and But the large Dutch family Bible, the pride and orna- ment of every Boer household, held its old conspicuous place upon the centre of the great table. It was a sight to see how the delegates came in and peer- ed about, gazing flatly at everything they saw, and wondering who was hid- | den behind the curtains. But they were ' soon evidently all at their ease and talk proceeded. uis Botha was an old ac- quaintance, and neither Lukas Meyer nor Schalk Burger evinced any reticence in wscussing the cause of their visit. In short, the Boers showed that they ra- ther liked the cpportunity of meeting and conversing with Lord Kitchener, whereas it is.an open secret that they fear Lord Milner. The latter arrived at Pretoria on Sunday evening, and took up his abode at the British. residency in Sunnyside district. Lord Milner subse- quently met the delegates, individually and collectively, at Lord Kitchener's and at the residency. Evidently he got on ood terms with the most of them, and n particular with the chief members of the Transvaal Government. It became hourly more. evident that there was a serious division of counsel among the Boers as to any further prosecution of the war. The Transvaalers, with but one or two isolated exceptions. were for immediate settlement of hostilities, even to leavi oe Free Staters to themselves.. In the-en I believe, it has come to this--they are to have the dubious honor of being the lgst to come in and to give up the fur- accept the En abide by their varaint T have done my duty. die in the field, fightin fot the rg lst the vol and the rate, a majority of for, peace and that has influence for set- tlement in the deliberations. Food For Young Turkeys, June is the month for young turkeys. From all sides comes the question, how shall we save the young poults? First of all, keep them out of the damp and wet; give them plenty to eat, but do '| not overfeed them. We clip the follow- ing from a letter of one who raises a number of turkeys each year :-- "Boil some eggs very hard, so they will crumble mealy; mix with the hard-boiled egg as.much breadcrumb as egg, and feed this to the young poults two or three times a day. Alternate this with bread crumbs and finé oat- meal or chick food. Onion tops and dan- delion leaves, chopped very fine, are reen food. As they grow roken wheat, corn and loose from this to whole wheat, broken corn, some millet and beef scraps. As soon as the poults are large enough, let them run about when it {+ ry. Never allow them to run in th wet or damp. Keep the mother hen con- fined till the poults are able to stand the going about with her. Feed plenty of small, fine grit; mix it with their food. Be sure they always have plenty of fresh water, and they should do well."--Country Gentleman. Insisted on His Rights. Some parents still believe dn the old adage that sparing the rod spoils the child. An Indiana paper tels of one of this class who strode into the schoole house and confronted the teacher after the scholars had been dismissed for the day. "I understand you whipped my boy fthis morning!" he began, angrily. "Yes, sir, I did," the terrified teacher responded, "put I did not whip him severely." "That's what I'm complaining about," rejoined the parent; "you didn't wallop | him half enough. Now, look here, am one of the largest taxpayers in this echool district, and my boy fs entitled to as good a whaling as you give any other boy. Understand that. If you slight him again you' i hear from me. Good afternoon, sir!" ® Aspersing Their Fathers A contributor to the Manchester "Guardian," speaking of the selection of hymns unsuited to the occasion, re- calls hearing a lot of rascals singing seriously one morning in the chapel of Manchester prison-- We are traveling home to God [. In the way our fathers trod. The Piano-player, I'm the wooden Paderewsk!, not so pompous but as stiffski, tearing off the soulful scherzo when I'm up against the game. an Pianissimos, staccatos, are all Greek to me, but still you'll find I get there just the same. I can drill holes in Lamperti, make old Wagner look like thirty cents, and Mendelssohn feel like a piece of soap when wash-day's done. Gounod, Schumann and Tschaikowsky, Donizetti and Moszkowsky, let me tell you then and nowsky, 1 can rip each son of a gu. Coon-songs, barcarolles, cantatas, tar~ antellas, fugues, sonatas--they are things that I can easily manipulate 0.K But the woes that make me weary-- give me Chinese berl-beri--are the sixty-dollar rattle-traps on which I'm forced to play. --"American Art Journal." ----__--_--_--__--_-- How Brown Leghorns Paid. t a Farmer's Institute in Iowa a short time ago a woman gave a lr encouraging report of her experience with Brown Leghorn chickens. She said she had no children to look after, and | devoted all the time which she could | spare from her housework to the care of five hundred and fifty Brown Leghorn | hens, which she kept on a common farm | homestead, running at large. She said | that these hens brought her in an aver- age income of $1.50 each, mostly from their egg product; that they were free | from disease; that they went every- where, and because of them no attempt was made to raise vegetables, a fruits or flowers on the place. No cubator was used. The hens were fed liberally. This statement conflicts witb the generally accepted theory that more than one hundred and fifty or two hun- dred hens cannot be kept on the farm homestead running at large.--Farm News. 'It is announced that @ "@ special war = Bees be given to all 'troops now South Africa who had com- pleted | 'eighteen months of service. With an Eye Singie tothe Good of Her Fellow-men. She Toiied, The Story of Eliza H. yar Bioocomfield, Ont.-- Years ina paged of y~Minte- teredto Their Physical aswel as Spiritual Wants. Bloomfield, Ont., July 7.--(Special) --Our community boasts of - having within it one of the most devoted Christian women that ever toiled in the world's vineyard. Owned and blessed by God, this: self-sacrificing heroine and her hus- band, since deceased, spent many, years of faithful pastoral work in different parts of the continent, Elizabeth H. Varney, relict of the late Levi Varney, is now 73 years of age and is living in quiet retirement here. She is a member of the Society, of 'the Old Orthodox Friends and this simple peace-loving Society never had a more humble or more worthy mem- ber. It is of her work among the Douk- hobors in our own Canadian North- west that she loves most to speak; and many and vivid are her recollec- tions of this peculiar people. One of the greatest difficulties this leveted woman had to contend with Was disease among her poor people. But she had armed herself with «a remedy that was as unfailing as her own charity---Dodd's Kidney Pills were the weapons she used to drive out sickness, Some years before she had tried and proven the value of this great medi- cine in her own case when threatened with Dropsy and suffering with Rheu- matism. 'They had completely restor- ed her, and when she found that the prevailing trouble among the Doukho- bor people was Kidney Disease and Dropsy she knew that Dodd's Kidney. Pills would be her most valuable aid in her good work. She tells of one poor young woman among this people who was suffering so severely with the Dropsy that she was terribly bloated all over and | Confined to her bed. | The Lady Mis- sionary left a few of Dodd's Kidney Pills and immediately sent for three more boxes She was rewarded for her efforts by. the complete recovery of the young woman. Dodd's Kidney Pills have received this worthy. woman's-most. emphatic endorsation. ' ~ She Fergot the Flour, She measured out the butter with @ very solemn air, The milk and sugar also, and she took the 'greatest care To og the eggs correctly, and to add a little bit) - Of bakin bangers a Then sh Stirred it all together, And she baked it for an hour; But she never quite -- herself For leaving out the flou va a Tit-Bite. A site at the corner of Queen ana East streets has been new public building w ment will erect in Sault Bte, Marie. The -- which, you know, Canadians |Who hsve sed Egyptian Damiana Wine Endorse our claim that it is the Grandest Tonic Sold on the 'American continent, and is unequalled as a speedy and pleas- ant Remedy in all cases of Stomach, 'Liver, Kidney and Bladder Ailments, or as a Restorative for use after es |long and painful illness..It is mom- jalcohelic, yet stig gating, contains 'no drugs, only Na @™'s rarest boun- | ties. We defy competition and guaran- | tee its properties Mailed in Canada, freight' prepaid, 75 cents large bottle. The Egyptian Damiana Co, 88, 90, 92 Church St. Toronto Head Office: London, England. Branches all over the werld. The finest Pain Killer on earth fer Man or Beast, Egyptian Embrece- tion. Try it. Mailed free; 50 centa "4

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