PP, ce PA a THE MIRROR eh cf ee Down&Fleming|) 774mor Hits in Little Bits TWO BARGAINS Aluminum 5-quart Funeral Service Rooms By "Dec" | TEA KETTLES 94 Ontario St. i i $1.59 each it a ee Grandma and the Baby and | make It 3-Cornered Fight As the bell rang, marking the close of the third round, grandma was stilt out. As for me, I was in a neutral Als we to RAYE corner sounding off. Do you remem- week-end? ber?--I was condemning our boasted dents system of public education, because it C | Coal dealers are advertising reduc- Ikey--'"Say, Louie, what's an oper- } O A L MR. DOWN Tel. 308 MR. FREMHNG Tel. 311 Phone 314 it you dislike about the other fellow is not one of your own. * * *& another winter so carefully avoids anything like in- ed coal prices. This is like reducing | etta?" struction in the care of infants. I the price of ice in December. We Louie--'"Don't be foolish, it's a girl i - , eer menheyenenere-- Seen eds rn Coenen nt i ain --aeeeoninnt i 14-quart Granite : ih DISH PANS | ' The British Olympic Association is leaving no stone unturned in an effort to raise sufficient money to send a full team of about 300 athletes to represent Great. Britain in the forthcoming Olympic Games at Ams- terdam. Above are six of Britain's sons who will be on the team. Ji Hatfield (top, left), swimmer, who took part in the 1924 Games; D. G. A. Lowe (lower left), winner of the 880 metres in 1924; Harold Abrahams (second from left), former crack sprinter of Cambridge University, who won the 100 metres in 1924, will cap- tain the British team. Owing to a leg injury it is doubtful whether he will compete, but his expert knowl- Birtain's Athletes Prepare for Olympic Games. edge of running and jumping will prove of great value to the British team. S. Ferris (second from right), famous marathon runner, who was fifith in the marathon in 1924; M. C. Nokes (top, right), was third in Throwing the Hammer in 1924; and J. Beresford, sculler, who won the single sculls championship in 1924. TWICE TOLD TALES "DOING HER STUFF The busy theatrical manager had not expected a caller so late in the day, yet he called "Come in!" in answer to the rap on the door. "Well," he said to the poorly dres- sed woman standing there, 'what do you do--dance, sing or what? lm busy. Let's hear you sing first." The woman looked embarrassed and made @ very poor attempt to sing the first few lines of "Annie Laurie." "Rotten!" said the manager. "You can't sing at all!" "I know that," said the woman meekly, "and if you are about through Til start scrubbin' the floor. That's - what I'm here for." ONE-WAY SERVICE anything we have published, but Ill tell you what [lj do. I'll put you in the birth column tomorrow and give you a fresh start." SAME START." "Do you know," said the successful merchant, pompously, "'that I began life as a barefoot boy?" "Well," said the clerk, born with shoes on either." *T wasn't Spreading Beauty. -- Tramp -- "Would you please subscribe half- a-crown to my fund for beautifying the village?" The Vicar--'But, my good man, how are you going to beautify the village?" Tramp--"By moving next village." on to the The Passing Show. "Sir, where is your chivalry?" "T traded it in on a new model Packard, Miss!" hold it would be a boon to the race if our schools would can Shelly, alge- bra, folk dances and if necessary com-~- position or essay writing, to make room for a course of instruction for both boys and girls 10 to 12 years o€ age, in the care of infants. Well, nobody cares to answer that one. Too radical, I suppose. To get back to the colic, grandma is evi- dently out to stay. You see, grandma and I clinched o2 the colic question. Grandma averred, that colic can happen. I positively and scientificaly asserted it does not. So we went to the mat--or rather grandma did. I made the asounding scientific assertion that distension of a portion of the ailmentary tube gives neither pain or distress. The most common cause of the crying and other antics of the infant accused of "colic" is hunger. This may be readily determined in any case, provided you have not already plied the unfortunate infant with al- leged 'colic' remedies. Just feed the baby his proper milk mixture and he wil] quiet down and pound his ear, if hunger is what ailed him. Every bimbo up to the age of 2 years should be undressed, bathed, given 15 or 20 minutes to play on @ blanket_naked, then put in his nighty or sleeping garment, fed and put to bed at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. No regular baby should .consent to wear a lot of flannel or other cod- dling over his stomach. The baby's stomach 'should be kept just as warm as his feet or his hands, but 'not warmer. Remember, now, no baby ever has colic, and a baby well cared for very rarely has any trouble than can pos- sibly be mistaken for colic. And as "Doc" says in his column-- "that's that." ANTHRACITE COAL POCAHONTAS, Egg Size Red Jacket, Egg Size Solvay Coke Cornish Coal Co. Phone 44 L:0.Ss..D.0°S. DENTAL SURGEON 4 Specialist in Prosthetic Dentistry Majestic Apartments, 93 Downie OrFice 602 iideisreeidiates { RESIDENCE 1051w DR. S. H. SUTTER | | \ Peter & Sylvester Will do your Repairs in Plumbing Heating Electric Phone 210 12 Qntario MTTTTTTTITT ELLE 8 ineeahSlds (OGESRAd VESTS EROS Sunnysuds a ~ Washer Free Demonstration No Obligation L. COOK 110 Downie St. Phone 175 Plumber and Electrician would prefer the reduction at the be- ginning of winter. bd bd * Young lady--Oh, aren't these stock- ings, lovely? I want a pair to wear to the dance tonight. Clerk--(By force of that be all? habit) --Will s * *® We have figured out that we work two months a year to pay Our taxes, but we don't know which two or we would take holidays those two months. * * * He: "I've made up my mind to stay at home, dear." She: "Oh, I'm so. sorry, but I've made up my face to go out." * * * A little Stratford girl says that proof that the moon is not made of green cheese is the fact that God made the moon two days before he made cows. x * ® They say money talks but ours seems to go so fast it loses its breath. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." "Well, after all a fly can't drink much soup." * aK * One editor says only a fool is cer- tain of what he says. And the editor is positive of that. cS * * Some women worry themselves gray trying to keep looking young. * * bd A friend of ours confided to us that his nerves were so bad he hadn't been able to close his eyes for @ week. We recommended a lesson in boxing, the last one we took we were not able to open ours for two weeks after. * ca * Always make sure that the bad hab- who works for the telephone company. ES * * Asked if there was any insanity in her family she said her thought he was boss. a Ad * Employer (dictating to new stenog.) --If I'm too fast for you just let me know. Miss Pounder--Fasth Goodness, no. My last employer had tried to kiss me by this time. * * * Mrs. Cash--Why you are charging me for a shirt you have lost. Washwoman -- Yes, you know I washed it before it was lost. es 8 8 Surely the frogs have been frozen down three times and it is about time for real spring. * x * A scientist says whiskey attracks fish. Guess that's why so many ang- lers speak with baited breath. oe * * The destruction of the Russell House at Ottawa recently removes an old landmark which in past years was patronized by Royalty, Parliamentar- jans, great actors, actresses and others. The Russell House was in- cluded in a lot of property which was to be taken over by the government in their plan for beautification, which extends from the Parliament buildings to the river drive. Jnlike most cities, Ottawa does not go out after industrial and manufacturing con- cerns, but endeavors at the expense of the people of Canada in general, to keep it a city of beauty, and clean- liness. Hundreds of thousands are spent annually for parks upkeep and entertainment. * bd * And that's that. husband | 49c each SEE WINDOW J. L. BRADSHAW CHINA HALL Miles and miles of wear-- Days and days of comfort after your shoes leave the Superior Shoe Rep air 119 Ontario St. Phone 941 -- J. S. RUSSELL Registered Architect Phone 1533F Gordon Block Phone 1580 Residence 2198 FRANK P. GIBBS Chartered Accountant 162 Ontario St. Stratfosd, Ont. (Beacon Building) Telephone Operator--'It costs sev- enty-five cents to talk to Bloomfield." Salesman--"Can't you make a spe- cial rate for just listening? I want to call up my wife." as A et: B-H PAINT Brandrom & Henderson im | FOX'S We wish to announce that we are having our first sale since we have been in business. A SPECIAL OFFERING SENSIBLE GIFTS AT SENSI- BLE PRICES Just call our Phone No. 140 and say, "I would like to have my tires leoked ever before the spring rush." Do it now while you think of it and avoid the rush. Bill Keil 201 Ontario SM. Phone 140 All Work Guaranteed. These letters stand for the Best there is in Paint. Spe- cial paints and special varnishes for every occasion--for every surface--each one made for the requirements it has to meet. While motoring in Virgina, a wom- az an from the North had tire trouble, a3 and stopping at a dingy looking gar- age, she said the Negro in attendance: "Do you fix flat tires?" "Ah doesn't does it, Ma'am, but Ah does have 'em did," was the reply. ee iii The Largest Stock of | BICYCLES we have ever shown is now in } stock. Come in and pick yours now --a small deposit will hold it until you are ready. W. E. McCARTHY Phene 781J Wellington St. It is no more expensive than other paints, but the value is there. In fact, a little more for your paint money. JAMES K. MYERS 51 Downie St. Phone 162 BUY A RATTLE Dealer (rushing into the newspap- er office)--"See here, you've publish- 2% ed an announcement of my death by 24 mistake. That's got to be fixed up ; somehow." aa Editor--"*Well, we never contradict Look in our window for ReaJ Prices ia Je a aks seis Te ee "The Store With A_ Heart" 141 Downie St. Phone 277 Stately Dowager: "Reverse, John--I do not desire to purchase anything here." --Passing Show, London. a