Stratford Mirror, 25 May 1928, p. 3

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THE MIRROR New Shirts with New Collars, This Store Is All Ready for your requirements in New Spring Overcoats, New Spring Hats and Cans New Light Weight Underwear Separate or attached New Spring Suits collars to match New Neckwear P. J. Kelly, Stratford Sole Agents for the celebrated 20th Century Clothes. Ready to Wear and Made to Order. FOR CORNS & CALLOUSES C DR. JOHNSTON'S | ALLOUS - OF : A 25c box of Callous - Off will dissolve the hardest corn or callous without leav- ing the slightest appearance of rawness. On sale at drug and shoe store or sent direct post paid for 25c from laboratory. Dr. Johnston's Callous-6ff Company STRATFORD, ONT. The Iowa bandits who escaped from that State by hopping from ice-cake to ice-cake in the Missouri River evi- dently are literary to the extent of knowing their "Uncle Tom's Cabin." NIZE BABY The motion-picture story of the week concerns a producer who has re- cently imported an alien star. "She's qa nize girl," he announced, "and I'm gonna loin her English."-- "The New Yorker." i CARE COURTESY COMMON, SENSE Don't pass cars « « unless there is room im your own traffic line ahead Highway Safety Committee The HON. GEO. S. HENRY, Chatrman. 27 THE TRAGEDY OF OUR RACE There lies the tragedy of our race; Not that men are poor; All men know something of poverty. Not that men are wicked. Who can claim to be good? Not that men are ignorant. Who can boast that he is wise? But that men are strangers. An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotchman were invited to a party and to bring something along. The Englishman brought a basket of sand- wiches, the Irishman brought a piece of cheese and the Scotchman brought his brother. Wife to husband at a party: Please don't be so polite to me in public Henry, or people will not know we are married. ENVELOPES BILL HEADS LETTER HEADS FACTORY FORMS there's a WEDDING STATIONERY difference =z: The painting of one man is subtle and elusive, while the painting of another is dull andstupid. Thereis just as much difference in printing as there is in painting. SERVE YOU. For quality printing let our printers TELEPHONE 115w FOR ALL YOUR PRINTING NEEDS The Fletcher Johnston Press Printers and Publishers of The Mirror SHOOTING SKYWARD "My, but your little brother is grow- ing!" "Yes, ma'am; he comes up to the hem of mamma's skirt now."--"Life." The supervisor of qa western rail- road received the following note from' one of his track foreman: "I am sending the accident report on Casey's foot when he struck it with the spike maul. Now, under 'Re- marks,' do you want mine or do you want Casey's?" A GOLFER'S VOCABULARY "Ah!" remarked the fascinated by- stander, after listening for a time to the moving man who had dropped a grand piano on his foot. "That's the phrase I was trying to think of yester- day on the links." ROADSIDE TINKER Brown: "I hear Jones is letting the rest of the world go by." Greene: "Retired, eh?" Brown: "No, bought a used car." --'"Alliston Recorder." RATE OS Diningroom Suits--Solid Oak, nine pieces Old English Finish, at $110.00 Queen Anne Imitation Wal- nut, nine pieces. Large Buffett and drawer in China Cabinet at $135.00 Solid Walnut, nine pieces at $225.00. Also complete suites in Birch Imitation Walnut and Quartered Oak. China Cabinets, Tables, Buffets and Chairs to fill. Greenwood & Vivian HousefurnishingsLtd. 26 Ontario Street THE MIRROR Worth of High-Grade The reason for this great opportunity is that our lease expires and we must vacate our present store. 43 DOWNIE STREET Odd Chesterfields & Chairs Coverings in Mohair and Jacquard Velours, Reverse Cushions in Friezette Chesterfields at Cheire' at... <i hasan aaa Down & Fleming FURNITURE--FUNERAL SERVICE 94 Ontario Street. Phones: Store, 314; Mr. Down, 308; Mr. Fleming, 311. ....$25.00, $35.00, $45.00 $50.00, $60.00, $70.00 Phone 314 C. C.M. Bicycles Joycycles and Accessories Baby Carriage Tires Bicycle Repairing Gordon E. McCarthy The Bicycle Man Phone 1497w 37 Ontario St. OPEN EVENINGS '*The store that service built"' One of this year's crop of Rhodes scholars tells the following: An Oxford don who had been hum- oring his only failing chanced upon @ couple of ova] bathtubs. He dis- posed himself snugly in one of them inverted the other over him. Later a party of scholars discovered the tubs and carefully raised the top one to investigate. "Sh-h," remonstrated the enclosed done, "I'm an oyster!" READ THE ADS. "THE ELUSIVE ONE" I know a little fellow who is mighty hard to find; Who comes most unexpectedly, yet never is unkind, But oft when you go chasing him-- you'll find it as I say-- He laughs most tantalizingly and swiftly runs away. His moods are transient as the clouds; sometimes he's smiling gay, Anon he seeks the silences and does- n't care to play. He haunts the strangest places--you may not believe all this-- I've found him in a sermon and I've found him in a kiss. I've found him out where Nature smiles, in woodland, field and glen; I've also found him lingering around the haunts of men. I've found him in some palaces where wealth and beauty strut, I've found him even oftener within some lowly hut. He does not always seek the good; sometimes in ribald throngs I've heard him laughing. merrily at silly, drunken songs, And yet among such company he never long will stay; He merely greets them merrily and goes his merry way. I don't know how to find him or to hold him, yet "d be-- : Should you see him--very grateful if you'd send him back to me. I have known him and I like him, for he always comes to bless; : He's a little wonder-worker and his name is--Happiness! --ALLEN JOHNSON. HUMOUR A native-born American member of a party of four business men who oft- en lunched together, took great de- light in joking the others on their foreign birth. "It's all very well for you fellows to talk about what we need in this country," he said, "but when you come to think of it, you're really only intruders. Not one of you was born here. You're welcome to this coun- try, of course, but you really ought- n't to forget what you owe us natives who open our doors to you." "Maybe," said an Irishman in the party, thoughtfully. "Maybe. But there's one thing you seem to forget: I came into this country wid me fare paid an' me clothes on me back. Can you say the same?" + * * Willie had tried by various means to interest his father in conversation. "Can't you see I'm trying to read?" said the exasperated parent. "Now don't bother me." Willie was silent for almost a min- ute. Then, reflectively: "Awful accident in the subway to- day." Father looked up with interest. "What's that?" he asked. "What was the accident in the subway?" "Why," replied Willie, edging to ward the door, "a woman had her eye on a seat and a man sat on 5 rh Don't forget the warning against riding with the foot on the clutch pedal.

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