THE STRATFORD MIRROR DON'T QUIT When things go wrong as they some- times will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, os Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may.succeed with another bines ODften the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering man. Often the struggle has given up When he might have captured the vic- tor's cup. And he learned too late when the night slipped down How close he was to the golden crown. low and the Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can _ never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems afar; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- It's when things seem worse that you mustn't quit: Confidence is a plant of slow growth in an aged bosom--William Pitt. TIME FOR AN ALIBI The Justice of the Peace in a town in Ohio, in pursuance of his duties, had to hear and judge cases that were brought before him, and also perform occasional marriage ceremonies. He found it difficult to dissociate the var- ious functions of his office. Every- thing had gone smoothly until he had asked one bride: "Do you take this man to be your husband?" The bride nodded emphatically. "And you," said the Justice, turning to the bride- groom, "what have you to say in your own defense?" A DELICATE MATTER The country judge saw fit to ques- tion the witness. : "Where did you first feel a sensa- tion of pain?" "On my _ epidermis, _ sir," the witness. replied cing at the spectators in the court- room, he said "The ladies will please leave the courtroom during this testimony." * * of It was the first time the shy young man had been to a big dance, and when his partner decided she did not want to dance the next, he was at Will do your Repaid a Plumbing Heating Electric Phone 210 a loss for something to talk about. 12 Ontario | "Do you ever have indigestion?" he asked, in a desperate effort to make convercation. The girl looked at him queerly. "No," she replied shortly. "What a pity," murmured the youth: I know such an excellent re- medy." FOOLING PAPA ' Little Boy (calling father at his office): "Hello, who is this?" Father (recognizing son's voice): "The smartest man in the world." Little Boy: "Pardon me, I got the The judge looked puzzled. 8hen glan- wrong number." FRIDAY NIGHT, LION'S ICE CARNIVAL FEBRUARY 13 PHONE 115-w entrusted to our printers. KE mers has a mark of--Distinction. Our Job Printing Users of printing appreciate the Craftsman-like appearance and uniformity of the work Always combines an artistic sense with technical skill. Every piece of printing AND isn't there a great deal of pleasure in the use of good printing. There is not only this personal pleasure, but your BUSINESS CARDS, _LETTERHEADS * INVOICES AND STATEMENTS have a silent influence on your clients and tell much more about the char- acter of your business than you may imagine| A phone call will bring a representative to your place of business. CChe Fletcher Johnston Press PUBLISHERS AND PRINTERS handed to our custo- Glazing Works Leave your orders for Caulkin with us and be sure of first-class ¥ workmanship. We use the mos modern and up-to-date methods. NO JOB TOO SMALL TELEPHONE 898-J Near Silverwood's, 19° Ontario Chase & Sanborn's VERY BEST COFFEE New Price 50c |b. J L. BRADSHAW CHINA HALL "Doc's Corner" People are like money--keep them busy or they'll lose onterest. * * * Mrs. Goldberg and Mrs. Silverstein were gossiping over the back fence. "tT heard today dot Abie Kavinsky vos keeping a budget." "Vot! and his vife too?" * * * "You're a liar, sir." "Say that again and I'll you down." "Consider it said, sir." "Cconsider yourself knocked. down then." knock * * * The man who saves money nowa- days is not a wiser; he's a wizard." DAY AND NIGHT SERVICE TAXI PHONE 6G PHONE ROY HUEHNERGARD | It seems to be a sort of paradox ' to the average man to read of a fel- Down & Fleming Funeral Service Rooms Phone 314 Mr: Down, 308Mr. Fleming, 811. 94 Ontario St. Partridge Sanitary & Heating Engineers Stratford and Toronto Plumbing, Heating, Sheet Metal Work and Roofing 29 Ontario Phone 1257 low yho cuts his throat with a safe- tyrazor," Ba * * "Clothes give a man a lot of confi- dence," reads a headine. We should _think they do. We go to a lot of places 'with them that we wouldn't thing of going without. ' * * * disadvantages. Being afraid to com- | plain to your wife that the piecrust was rather tough, you might wake up to the fact .that you had eaten half the plate. * * * Eave Troughing and Furnace Work Done promptly and efficiently. oe mera JAS. E. COMMERFORD 199 Ontario St. The World Moves. ...So Do We Stratford Cartage We Move Pianos, Safes and Furniture By courteous and reliable men. PHONES: P. J. Singigit a ples sus 2264 Freight Shed ........... PD Office 26 ALBERT ST. ATCA meee i Real foot com fort from five- ty, springy rubber es AQ SS ae 4 reverie: Shee Repair 110 Ontario diy SS Phone 94 INSIST on SILVERWOOD'S FINEST PASTEURIZED BUTTER = _ Fresh from the churn ANTHRACITE COAL POCAHONTAS, Egg Size Red Jacket, Egg Size Solvay Coke , CORNISH COAL CO. The law gives a man the right to open his wife's letters. But it doesn't Woman may be the weaker sex but a barber talk her into putting some- thing on her hair she didn't want. * * * It was a summer's evening, The scientist was there-- Within his laboratory He tore his vagrant hair! He shook his test tube wildly, For some token .. or an omen.. That might throw a ray of sunlight Upon the germ called "woman." His college grandson, Peterkin, Great interest had shown, As he watched the process, furtively (For reasons of his own)! He asked: "Tell me about this dame . Why she is here... she came?" Grandpa was'stumped... know," quoth he, "She is a glorious mystery!" * * * BIGGER AND BETTER The tadpole wants to be a frog, The bullfrog, in his turn, aspires To greater size; the portly hog Has wholly similar desires. and whence The village strains its meager girth And calls itself a growing city. The great who dominate the earth reek lack of other words a pity. give him the nerve to do it. * * * Speaking of lonesomeness and solitary conifenement, we heard of a man out West who was put into a cell with a book of crossword puzzels /and no pencil. * * * There was a young lineman named Weir, 3. 2p ear Se oo ge Wh ohadn't a knowledge of fear ; He indulged a desire To touch a livet wire-- (Well, any old line will do here). * * * wonamn guestshrdlu shrdlu hrdluaoo woman guest who voluntters to help Wipe the dishes after dinner is over. * * * And there are the young men of the village who still sit in the back row in church and line up outside after the service to wait for the young ladies. * * cd With this dollar down installment buying, it's hard to tell whether a fel- low is moving in or being moved out. * * * A certain stern parent caught his small son smoking, so he decided to reprimand him. "How. dare you smoke that cigar- ette?" he cried. | "This is the thanks I get for buying you a camera fir Christmas." bd 2 bo "Yes, Pa," said the lad, and I took! a snapshot of you kissing the maid, | but I haven't shown it to ma yet. Now | how de we stand?" Paper plates in the home have their A successful man is one who gatth- ers a fortune he doesn't need to leave to people who don't déserve it. * * * } Don't suppose we'll ever see the time again when a man could get at shave, a shine and_ a cigar out of a quarter and still have a nickel left | The crossroads hamlet on the creek, The town, metropolis and nation, Always and with loud clamor seek The boon of greater population, The world is choked with hustling throngs, The curse of bigness is upon it-- Even this simple quatrain longs To be a full Petrarchean sonnet. * There never has been and never will be a frost heavy enough to kill the bloooming idiot or. the political plum, * * * DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN we never heard of a woman letting | "Don't | EE IPIAITIS( FOR GIFTS TOYS | and ae: ere atl ae ten seep me ef | Good Reading Books made in Canada and written by Canadian authors should be read by Canadians. Just received a new shipment _ of these at $2.00 per copy SPECIAL Cretonne Covered Wsste Paper Baskets at 60c each J.E. Patterson 83 Downie St. Phone 296 clerk was curious to know why the city motorist should want a room for a month in mid-winter. "Taking a vacation at Christmas time?" "Yes," replied the man with the hunted look, "I hadn't just fig- ured on taking my vacation now, -- but I'm taking it just the same." "How come?" "Well, invariably these morn- ings I have to rout the kid out of bed so he won't be late for school. He never gets up when I call him, so yesterday morning I went into his room and applied the flat of my hand where it would do the most good. ie 'There, I said, going back to our bedroom. ' Iguess that will wake Jimmie all right. I went to his room, turned back the covers and gave him a good smacker.' " 'What!' ~--_ shrieked my swife. 'Why, Jimmie stayed with the Davis boy last night and I put Mother in his room!" It' was in a small-town hotel. The "So, here I am, on my vacation." CO $11.00 for TO ANY PART Calt 460 now--order 50 et O for the vlan zc ay box on mei fe GENUINE GAS DELIVERED heating dollars go farther. KE 50 buses OF THE CITY bushels and make your HOF Tel. 460 "ERVICE Is Sot lipd bee