THE STRATFORD MIRROR Pa Let Us Serve You with your next ; [ [ of business or social stationery -- it will be to your advantage to give us your order. In every particular we can serve you well.. Let us brighten up old desiqns if you want to catch this year's dollars. Our craftsmanlike printing attracts and its use always gives a distinct pleasure. L1L5 The Fletcher Johnston Press 'Publishers of "The Stratford Mirror" 123 Ontario St. Stratford, Ont. mM OO sk SD Ot Fire Alarm Box Locations 74 261 321 AFTER-SUPPER CHAT Professor Einstein says he may gin some little talks on electrical periot icity from the standpoint of genera relativity. We must try to drop in when he is gossiping on these lines, * * «* HEARD IN COURT Magistrate: "Are you a Fire Hall. Downie and Norfolk. Chestnut and Railway Ave. Linton Ave. General Hospital. Centre and St. Vincent St. Douglas and St. Vincent St. religio Caroline and Avon. aah wae aie Huron and John. Peas ae 'liar ; a Huron and Huntingdon Ave. Bible?" amitar | with Caledonia and St. Vincent. Witness: "Well, rather. I'll bet I've | Mornington and Britannia. kissed it 50 times in court." Princess and Mornington. * * % Waterloo and William. ALL THE YEAR ROUND Cobourg and Waterloo. A contemporary says: "Every wo- Nile and Rebecca. man should make up her mind to be | Ontario and Nile. Queen of the May." Eve ry woman Water and Front. thinks she is a queen--and there is no -- Albert and Front. may about it Ontario and Queen. Romeo and Ontario. Brunswick and King. Weare anxious to give you the best service possible. Well and Brunswick. Waterloo and Douro. Nile and Falstaff. Perth and Laurier. Milton and Front. Front and Douro. Douro and Trinity. St. David and Argyle. Cambria and Nelson. Downie and Gore. Gore and Dufferin. Blake and Crooks. Dufferin and Eln. Erie and St. David. St. David and Birmingham. Shrewsberry and Cambria. Erie and Gore. Erie and Pine.' «Downie and George. Ubelacker Meat Market. Downie and Albert. Post Office. -- Church and St. Andrew. Huron and Douglas. Collegiate Institute. Strachan near Shakespeare Sch Normal School. Can. Edison Appliance Co. Heie's what we are giving every patron, FREE Service on Batteries, Tires, park Plugs Stratford Tire and Battery H. E. McAlpine, Prop. 132 Ontario St. Phone 800 Joyce Ford, 46 Rankin Street, Again Wins Theatre ester IiNooL_eE BY DUDLE og FISHER de. : ITTLE WILLIE, SO THEY SAY, FED BROKEN GLASS TO IDA-MAY NEVER FEAZED HER DAINTY THROAT FOR \IDA-MAY {5 dUST A GOAT -- ie as Tickets for "Jolly Jingle Drawing" | | | WHY TAKE A CHANCE ? Health is such a valuable thing and there are so many risks we are compelled to take with it that it is foolish to take unnecessary ones. We pasteurize our milk and have our own farm inspection for nothing else but the protection of our customers -- and because we know that ALL milk needs these precautions before it is SAFE. USE Silverwood's Safe Milk Silverwood's Stratford Dairy, Limited i. 1-9 FOR SERVICE THE STRATFORD MIRROR | Vegetable Fresheners For your electric refrigerators 2 sizes at 1.40 and 1.69 Also Covered Glass Dishes at 25c up to 75c J. L. BRADSHAW China Hall PARTRIDGE SANITARY & HEATING ENGINEERS Stratford and Teronto Plumbing, Heating, Sheet Metal Werk and Roofing 29 Ontario St. Phone 1257 DOWN & FLEMING Funeral Service Reems 94 Ontario St. Phone $14 Mr. Down, 308 Mr. Fleming, 311 Fer Corns and Callouses DR. JOHNSTON'S Callous - Off A 25e box of Callous-Off will dis- solve the hardest corn or callous without leaving the slightest ap- pearance of rawness. On sale at drug and shoe stores or sent direct post paid for 25c from waboratory. Dr. Jehnston's Callous-Off Company Stratford, Ont. Have Your EAVETROUGHING loeked over. Call STRATFORD HEATING SERVICE 11 Ontario Street, Stratford. Day Phone 383 Night Phones: 2312 or 823-F. === == "Doc's Corner" A bird never flew so high but ! SS SSE -- | | Want of care does us more harm | where the garage was. | than want of money. ** 6 | oe Mrs. Angus---"Was the sairmon | it | guid?"' | had to come to the ground. % * * A good man dies when a b goes wrong. It is not a burden, burden that kills the beast. w € Now that haircuts are cheaper, several bald headed Scotchmen are reported to be buying hair restor- eT. = The fellow with the one-tra mind usually gets into the most col- lisions. One trouble with the country that too many people are payi installments on the car they ex- changed for the ear they sold for |part payment on the car-they now drive. % * * | Autoist---"Have you some \that gas that stops knocking?"' Attendant---"We sure have." wife in the back seat." * * * "What's the matter feet? "T've got corns." them?"' "Why should I? done anything for me." * + * "Henry," said Mrs. Glipping, paper," What is it?" '*Tf I were to die tonight, wot you marry again?" "Not night." * ¢ © The costs which have been curred by public authority must but the taxpayer ° | Reporter---"I | Daily Scoop." s |ship is not yet dead." "Oh, is 'he? Well, then I'll wait." | eee the liquor that if it was not | JL S. RUSSELL Registered Architect Phone 1533-F Gordon Bik. would drink it. * *¢ & soon get better it is going to but the over- Autoist---'"Then give some to my wijh your Why don't you do something for | They' ve never tearful tones, "Well my dear?" re- plied Henry, looking up from the met, and there is none to meet them | represent The At what time did his 1 hip die?" ---Hi - F | eroedebip dis?' Butler "Piao the sergeant, swallowed his Adam's apple and then said huskily, Et pot sees three or four men comin' yay : out of dat hole, don' shoot de fust | Life is much lie a poker game-| 5n6" | The luck shifts and goes unexpect- | Home, a noted philosopher say is where the garage is, but a loca man deelares than if times don't Oy ek is|thief,"' replied Sambo, but what I saysis this, "If | was a chicken 1' IT see him loafin' roost high--that's alJ." ng of in ild in- n't | fell around fn ji ae A company of soldiers were hav- | OFC Bee eee ullerling target practice and Private | takes the biggest pot. Murphy, who had repeatedly One man 'says that the most of| cer. now-a-days is so poot| Murphy. so dear no One} don't flinch."' |as usual missed' matter with that last s, | the officer appeared angry. 1| phy looked up and answered! "'I dunno," Sir. "It was all right when be | it left the gun." women are usually cent temper and 10 per cent men- tal. against the answering cautiously, mean to call manded counsel for the defense. al ball match. gate. gate I've ever climbed over." * * difference between a knock in the engine and that of opportunity at the door. cases where the mink in the clothes closet was reponsible for the wolf at the door. sister, and was for one a baby might come. added a petition for a little sister. Results not coming as soon as_ he to-| wished, one night he added :' 'Dear |Lord, if you have one ready don't | wait to put in her tonsils or appen- dix, as they usually have to be | Out anyway." | ican soldier was ordered to go into a dugout and clean out any Ger- | mans that Shappened to be there. |The darkey received the order from | missed, was admonished by his offi- Mrs. Angus---Aye."' Mrs. A---"What was it aboot?" | Mr. A--"Sin". Mrs. A--"And what did the | minister say about it? Mr. A--"Oh, he was against it." | . e * Those-so-called temperamental | about 90 pe a ee ; The negro was giving evidence | prisoner, and he was} "Do you! him a thief?" de- "I ain't going to say he's a 'round I'd a ae An Aberdonian went to a foot- On his return a friend asked, "And did they have a big gate?"' "Big gate, did ye say? Big It was easily the biggest * To many of us cannot tell the An there have been * * Little Bobby ardently desired a told if he prayed So he come * * * During the war a colored: Amer- | % * * 25 - 40 and 60 watt BOG h mois) ois. cos aiencesbonvne ers 25c Carton of 6, 31.40 H" DRO CHOP Tel. 460 ER E Gerviceissupreme The World Moves .. So Do We Stratford Cartage We Move Pianos, Safes and Furniture By courteous and reliable men. PHONES: P. J. Simclair cceccicen wenn BRO Freight Sheds....-....-e:sccneceeeees 857 Office ..... 4% 837 GASOLINE AND OILS L. COOK PLUMBER AND ELECTRICIAN 110 Downle St. Phone 176 TAXI PHONE 66 PHONE City Calls 1 or 2 passengers 25c --- J ROY HUEHNERGARD For "Speciai Theatre Service" Phone 616 Adults 10c Childr~ en 'You can do better than that "Now try again, and Murphy fired, but "What was the shot?" and Mur- COAL ANTHRACITE COAL -- POCAHONTAS, Egg Size Red Jacket, Egg Size Solvay Coke CORNISH COAL CO. Phone 44 PETER & SYLVESTER Will do your Repairs in Plumbing Heating Electric Phone 219 12 Ontario St.