i 1 i mes =e . = <= - pw mm ne : nn <= * : . : SS ss ee TS i e) | Geek oe: Pace aes 4 THE STRATFORD MIRROR ook At These Values ! MEN'S FINE SHIRTS By TOOKE Here's real value! 25 dozen fine Shirts, collar attached or 2 separate collars. In fancy fine stripes. A full cut shirt, Sizes 14 to 17%. Made and assorted sleeve lengths. guaranteed by TOOKE-- $1.00 * MEN'S FINE HOSE These hose are made of the finest Egyptian cotton, and would regularly sell at 35c. A real buy at-- 19c Sizes 10 to 11% THE BROCTON LINE of made-to-measure clothes is UNION MADE and guaran- teed by the makers of LaSALLE CLOTHES. Can we say more? We are showing the very newest in Sport Tweeds. May we show you the value this line has to offer ? $17.95 Chiswell's 26 Wellington Street. "Doc's orner" Uneasy lies the face that wears the frown. Are The waiting list in a barber shop can settle almost all the world's big problems. * * * It's easy to get along with a woman. When you quarrel and she's in the wrong, you just apologize. * * * The. fellow who is always trying to borrow trouble, usually has unlimited credit. -- * * * _A man plays with fire when he re- minds his-wife of his old flames. * * * "You used to say you could eat me, you loved me so much," said the young wife, and now you grumble if you so much as get one of my hairs in your soup." * bo * A local man is supporting three wives -- and he is not a bigamist. They are his own, his son's and his married daughter. * * The dog is man's best friend. If for hash. Men's and Boys' Wear Phone 122 you keep a dog there is nothing left There is a filling station and bar- becue conspicuous for it's sign which | reads "Eat here and: get gas." Bd oe * A new pupil arrived at local livery After he mounted the horse, the ani- mal began to kick up while the groom PETER & SYLVESTER Will do your Repairs in Plumbing Heating Electric Phone 219 '-12Ontario St. A Sunday School teacher in one of the suburbs was going through the book of Genesis. After explaining how Adam and Eve had disobeyed by eat- ing the fruit of the forbidden tree, she asked: "Now, can anyone tell me what lesson that teaches us?" Eagerly a small hand shot up, "Yes, teacher; eat less fruit." GRAND OPENING | NG | Arena Gardens, Stratford Featuring TOMMY MACK and His Orchestra 3 BIG NIGHTS--Sat., May 20 Wed., May 24 Sat., May 27 Newly Decorated Admission 10c - Excellent Dance Floor Jitney Dancing Daneing Every Wednesday and Saturday Nights held on to the horses' head. The rid- er yelled: "Say, let go; can't you see you are holding down the wrong end?" % a * Sportsman (having emptied both barrels at a rabbit) -- "There, Jack, I'm sure I hit that one." Guide -- "Well, 'e certainly did seem to go faster after you shot at 'im. sir." * * * "T understand your wife came from a fine old family." "'Came' is hardly the word -- she brought it with her!" * é 2 Some people wear glasses because they have weak eyes, but they don't wear glass hats. * * * "Tt's a bottle of hair tonic, dear." "Oh, that's very nice of you, dar- ling." "Yes, I want you to give it to your typist at your office. Her hair is coming out rather badly on your ' coat." j * * ee Wife--Before we were married you jused to send round a dozen roses every week. : Husband-- Roses are easy. This ' | week I am going to send round two |tons of coal and a joint of beef. } * * * The little girl was shocked. "Of course not. That would be stealing. -- I only lick them." * * * ~TIs it dry in the district where your brother lives?" asked Pat. "Dry!" replied Duggan. 'They're parched. The last letter I had from -- Mike the postage was stuck on with © a pin. * * * One Chicago member of its congregation to com-_ pel a 100 per cent. attendance so that : the puzzle might be put together. Other congregations have been known -- to assemble in order to pick the min- ister to pieces. : * * * A traveller got into conversation with a stranger in a railway train. "Do you believe in the survival of the fittest?" asked the traveller. '"T don't believe, in the survival of anybody," was the reply. "I'm an un- dertaker." : ae a A negro was asked to supply a tame turkey. The customer was insistent that it should be tame, and not wild. When he came to carve the turkey he found it full of shot, and he re- proached the negro for having sup- plied a wild bird. "In strie' confidence," explained the negro, "dem shot swas intended for stable for some lessons in riding.| me, not de turkey." aK # Measles will be~ unknown in ten |years' time, states a doctor. We might -- say this is a rash prediction. Booed \ * oe % Spinster: "Cats, my dear -- I hate the very sight of them. I had a sweet little canary and some cat got that. I had a perfect parrot -- some cat got him. I hada sweetheart, and, oh -- don't mention cats to me!" FINDING THE UNKNOWN FIGURES Ask someone to write down a num- ber of three figures, then to reverse the number, subtract the smaller from the greater and write on a sep- of the remainder. This is handed to you, when you complete the number by writing down the other two figures. This trick depends upon a curious ar- ithmetical principle. The result of doing above, except in one special case, which we shall see presently, is always to leave a remainder of three figures, of which the middle one is gether also make nine. For instance, suppose the number first written down is 623: this reversed is 326 and if 326 is deducted from 623 the remainder will be 297. The figures written down and given to the performer is there- fore a 2, and such being the case the last must be nine. hand that the middle number is a 9, The nice old lady smiled sweetly at|he has no difficulty in naming the | ) the little girl who had been left in | charge of the bakery. | 'Don't _ you | asked. only, namely, 99. church sent out 2 -- piece from a jig-saw puzzle to every -- arate slip of paper the first number nine, and the first and last added to- -- Knowing before- complete number. The only exception -- to the rule is where you are told that ; : the first figure of the remainder is 2 -- | sometimes feel tempted to eat one Of| ine. Then you may be certain (ume those cream puffs, my dear?" she|the number consists of two figures STRATFORD MIRROR oy I WOULD BREAK THROUGH SILENCE By H. deNoe. Eames 'I would break through silence to your heart-- Follow a scarlet thread and find the way Into its labyrinth--to hear you say "Things headier than musk or hyacinth. Bes ee An Old Story Dear Miss St. John: You will not think much of me and my problem, but perhaps you will help me anyway. ' The man I love is engaged to a very fine girl who lives in a village fifty miles from town. They are to be mar- ried next September. She trusts him absolutely. As a matter of fact he spends almost every evening that he is in town at my apartment. It is my fault Miss St. John. I confess that I have used every trick I know to get him into my apartment on some pre- text and then coax him to stay while band terribly. Apparently he expects me to "fall upon the neck" of all these strangers. yt So What is usually expected of brides in such cases? CLAIRE. Answer: The more friendly a new "in-law" is the better she or he is liked by the family they have married into. The bride who assures Aunt Mary that she feels that she is well acquainted because John has spoken of her so frequently, automatically wine Aunt Mary's life-long, loyal sup- port. It-is natural for your husband to desire you to be friendly with his They have entered into your life to stay. Try to accept them as your own. --Ina St. John. | A Matter of Preference Dear Miss St. John: My sister is engaged to a guy that I can't stand the sight of. My parents are strong for him, but believe it or I fix something to drink. It is just the old story. I have gained my objective. | I have a hold over the man that would make it easy to break up his engage- ment. But I hesitate to do that for he} has no love for me. Even if he mar-; ried me he would be unhappy, and I would be miserable because I had ruined his life. So I have decided to go out west and stay there until they are married. I feel that I am leaving everything behind me, but I know he | will be happy. Tell me, do you believe | in the compensation idea. What I mean is this. Will I have any re- flected happiness because I make the sacrifice of stepping out of my be- loved's life? If not I might as well drown myself. --DOT. Answer: Your present life can only lead to misery for all three concerned Dot. Your brave decision to leave the man you love to happiness (and his own conscience) should wipe out in some measure the despicable tac- tics you used to win him away from the girl to whom he was already pledged. I do not agree with you that the affair was all your fault. No doubt you did your best (or should I say worst)? But no sane man can be forced to break faith with a pure girl who trusts him. May your sacrifice lead to peace and contentment and self respect. Later new happiness may come to you. e --Ina St. John. A Question of In-Laws Dear Miss St. John: Please help a bride of three months. Previous to our marriage 'I had only met my husband's parents. Now that Spring is here any number of cous- ins, aunts, etc., drop in on their way through town. I am naturally of a very distant temperament. I treat people with formal politeness until I am fairly well acquainted with them. |the same type. Now this plan seems to hurt my hus- not, if he hangs around 'our place many more Sundays and evenings, I'll leave home for good. Does a fellow have to be civil to a boob just be- cause his sister is silly over him? --LEO. Answer: Have patience, Leo., the) present stage of the game will soon | be gone. Your sister will also be gone away from home forever. So try to bear with your future brother-in-law. It would not do for us all to "fall for" But do try to see some of the good qualities that have endeared the young man to your par- ents as well as to your sister. --Ina St.. John. Bachelor Girl Versus Flapper Dear Miss St. John: We always read your page but no girl has written with a problem like mine. I am twenty-two and have a splendid position. But I am decidedly plain looking! My "bachelor girl' aunt is twice my age (though no one would believe it. She is popular with everyone -- old, young, married and single. I feel like a dumb Dora when she is around, though I am better educated and more stylishly dresed. Actually Miss St. John, I am the spinster in family, just as you like to have him | on friendly terms with your relatives. | manner, and she is the girl! I desire above everything to have ! friends -- plenty of all sorts of friends | -- and one man friend who would be | willing to show me a good time. Whai, ) if any, is the solution to my problem? | --EVE. | Answer: Well, Eve, you must not | allow yourself so much time for in-}| trospection. Make the most of your. appearance. (No girl of twenty-two need be plain looking.) Then forget | about yourself. Try to be 4 trifle | more friendly than the person you} are speaking to. Force yourself to take an interest in whatever is near- est and dearest to that person. In- a" Polish 1 long handled Spreader applying. A New Idea Makes this amazing difference A wax finish for floors and linoleums that needs no pol- ishing. Simply apply it, spread it around andlet dry. Wouldn't that make a dif- ference to you? INTRODUCTORY OFFER | 1 large can Johnson's Glo-coat 1 bottle Cleaner and Furniture C 1 Cotton Removable Pad for Me. All FORK ice Johnson's Glo-coat, only, per tim ..........---. 'nee OSG 24 eeneee 80 ONTARIO ST. 80 Ontario St. RR. WHITE & CO. Phone 33 quire for her hobby, ask about the | favorite brother. Do not speak of your own affairs. Rather listen to| your friend's life history. Be pleas- ant in your manner. "Laugh and the world laughs with you -- weep and you weep alone." Many men feel more at home with a comparatively plain looking girl. The beauties can afford to be "choosy." Be natural, and there is no earthly reason why that "one man" should not come riding by. Nor is there any sane reason why your bachelor girl aunt should in any sense_ "steal your thunder." --Ina St. John. VULCANIZING Tire Repairs of all kinds BATTERIES Recharging Repairing All Work Guaranteed TILIEININIOLX| P.&R. Anthracite. DONNER COKE | Lykens Valley Blower a Fuel Guaranteed to clinker, City Scale Receipts. f 2100 LENNOX COAL CO. STRATFORD TIRE & BATTERY 132 Ontario Street ; 2371 PHongEs--Day 800 Night 1339-J * READ THE MIRROR "ADS. TTFIUELS | Honeymoon couples in Italy have just been granted an 80 per cent. re duction in round-trip railroad fares i third-class compartments on leaving Rome. Cae This may not help two to live as. cheaply as one, but it will certainly permit them to travel cheaper. ; .