THE STRATFORD MIRROR Page 4 NOW -- 90 Ontario Street Golding & Lumaden BONDS--STOCKS--GRAINS We give you private wires to J. A. LUMSDEN STRATFORD all exchanges. Phone 707 art England In The Bag The BBC during a_ broadcast to North America told a good one for consumption in Newfoundland. It ran like this: "Not all Newfoundlanders are serv- ing at sea. The Royal Artillery, one of the famous arms of the British army, has two regiments made up of Newfoundland volunteers. ... These gunners were at one time assigned the unglamorous task of building gun po- sitions, observation posts, and ammu- nition pits. They did all this work very cheerfully and willingly, but one day a prominent official of the British Government paid a visit to one of the regiments, and going up to one man who was leaning on his shovel he asked him if he had seen much of England since he had been over. 'Seen much of England,' replied the gunner disgustedly, 'Why I've put half the darned country in sandbags.' " He--"I never knew that love was like this." She--"Neither did I. I thought there were more chocolates and flowers to tps Draftee--"Do you think they'll ever send me overseas, doctor?" Examining Physician -- "Not unless we're invaded!" Sergeant (on rifle range)--"This new bullet will penetrate nearly two feet of solid wood, so remember: to keep your heads down." POLLY IS A WOG It doesn't matter how high they fly these days, pilots in the Royal Cana- dian Air Force must submit to the sweet, gentle, but nonetheless, firm re- minder that there is a Women's Divi- scion to their branch of the Canadian armed forces--a reminder in the form of the voice of a "Lady-Wog." "Woe" is a short word for Wireless Operators Ground' and it isn't very long ago that the first batch of women underwent the _ six-month training course and were graduated from Wire- less School and posted to various air stations. Most of the pilots seem pleased with the change. Now when a lad goes aloft it's a Lady-Wog who gives him his routine orders. Proof that they are competent lies in the fact that recently one group of Lady Wogs assumed full control of a Western broadcasting studio for a whole day. They carried out in full all the detailed jobs involved in the oper- ation of a radio station. Some did the announcing, others took charge of the control room. A network appearance, with the current grain prices, un- scheduled and by accident, was hand- led with dignity and aplomb that drew congratulations from_ several country grain operators. In spite of the fact that they are en- gaged in work usually handled by men, Lady-Wogs don't seem to have forgot- ten that they're feminine. Not by a long shoe. The men who instructed the first group were rather amazed at the way in which the girls mastered the arrangement for the letter "Q", usually a difficult one for men. On Worked Out A 20-9 Victory Over Guelph Coach "Por" WNeilson's Stratford Y.W.C.A. junior basketballers worked out a 20-9 victory over the visiting Guelph girls, at the Collegiate gym Tuesday night, with S. Gladding, K. Johnson and A. Brown sharing the winners' high scoring honors with six points eack; J .Lee and O. Steele shar- ing the other two. Guelph--S. McGarr, M. Kelleher, M. Childerley, B. Steffler, M. O'Brien, R. McGibbon, R. Steffler, A. Herron, R. Cox, J. Harvey. Stratford--S. Gladding, K. Johnson, A. Brown, D. Mulford, J. Lee, O. Steele, D. Gladding, B. Miller, A. Ross, M. Inness, R. Heckendorf. Referee, Herb Parker; Goodyear. scorer, D. Doctor--"TI want to change the death certificate I gave you yesterday." : Coroner--"What is wrong?" Doctor--'"T put my name in the space marked "Cause of Death." "How did you get that bump on your head?" "My wife threw a vase at me." "Why on earth didn't you duck?" "IT did, but she allowed for it." enquiry, they were reminded in no uncertain terms that the Morse for "Q" is "dah-dah-dit-dah", which they interpreted as the opening strains of the Wedding March from Lohengrin. OPEN FOR BUSINESS As Usual Don't pay any attention to blocad- ed front .... just open the outside door and WALK IN! It will pay you well. see hundreds of pairs, women's and men's shoes marked away below regular price-- *1.94-°2.94. Don't Forget The Place =: LINCOLN SHOE STORE (FORMERLY RAY GETLIFFE'S) 93 ONTARIO STREET Here you will INDIAN CHIEFS IN CEREMONIAL DRESS Indian Population Of Canada OTTAWA, March 16.--Contrary to popular opinion, Canada's Indians are not a vanishing or degenerating race. The Indian population is nearing the 120,000 mark at the rate of about one per cent. a year and, with the assist- ance and guidance of federal officials, is improving both physically and eco- nomically. It is estimated that ap- proximately 60,000 Indians depend for a livelihood in whole or in part on farming; 50,000 are engaged in the 'time-honored pursuits of hunting, fish- ing and trapping; and the remainder might be described at laborers or in- 'dustrial workers. The welfare of the Canadian In- dians is considered by the Dominion government to be a special and dis- 'tinct responsibility. Because of its importance, welfare officers of the In- | dian Affairs Branch of the Depart- ment of Mines and Resources are con- 'stantly on the alert to improve condi- 'tions among these native people and to assist them in their advance to a position of self-reliance and self-de- "pendence. Various measures have been taken to improve their conditions. Probably the most marked progress has been made'among the Indians who depend in varying extent on agriculture for their livelihood. Indian welfare offi- cials have found that Indians, under careful supervision, can and have be- come successful and progressive agri- culturists, and in many cases have been known to take a great interest in the care and utilization of their land and stock. There is practically no branch of farming which the Indians have not entered. On reserves in the prairie provinces, grain growing and beef cat- tle raising have been markedly suc- One Side Only, Please Mark Twain, as a young editor out West, was kept busy dodging credit- ors; every day a new batch of bills ar- rived, to be dropped into the waste- basket. One day, as Twain brushed enother bill aside, the office boy said, "You'd better look at the other side, sir. It says if you don't send the money right away, he's going to sue you." "You know what to do with that kind of copy," said Twain, handing the sheet back to the boy. "Return it with our regular form letter stating manuscripts written on both sides can- not be considered."--Milwaukee Jour- nal. Increasing cessful. All kinds of root and other vegetables have been raised with suc- cess, and dairying and poultry raising are common to most reserves across the Dominion. The younger Indians, particularly the graduates of residen- tion schools, have shown a particular interest in what might be termed me- chanized farming. They appear to have recognized the advantages of tractors and other motor-driven farm equipment, and, in recent years the demand for such equipment has been increasing. Jack-- Did you nave words with your wife?' Harry--yYes, I had words, but no op- portunity for using them. Carl--Still, in spite of what you say, I think marriage is a pretty good in- stitution. Carlotta--Yes, but who wants to live in an institution? ; Jackson--That's a nice suit you have. Will you give me the address of your tailor? Johnston--With pleasure, ing you don't give him mine. provid- Flowered Felts, Hats, Berets and now ! Phone 192 ing in the world like a new hat BRIGHT NEW COLORS IN FELTS AND STRAWS HWAY AND SON = LIMITED Half Noth- Turbans, Sailors. 54 Ontario Street When Lord Halifax, then Edward Wood, was a young man, he traveled one day from London to Bath, seated between two sober-faced spinsters. No one spoke during the long journey. Just before reaching Bath the train entered a tunnel and young Halifax put the back of his hand to his lips and made loud kissing noises. As the train emerged into daylight he looked from ene to the other of the startled old ladies, rose, tipped his hat and said with a mischievous twinkle, "To which of you two charming ladies am I indebted for that most délightful interlude?" Then he stepped out, leaving the two oldsters glaring suspiciously at each other.--Contributed bl Allan A. Michie. Thurman Arnold doesn't see why he should hire a chauffeur, and drives his car himself. One night after he and Mrs. Arnold had dined with Mrs. Eva- lyn McLean, the doorman said, in his most elegant manner, "Shall I call your car, Mr. Arnold?" "You can call it,' Arnold said, with a dour expression, "but I don't think it will come."--Drew Pearson in "Washington Merry-Go-Round." Read The Mirror 'Ads'. Supplies of Cartons Are Restricted @ A Wartime Order limits the quantity of new cartons which a Brewer may purchase. To fulfill quotas each brewer must re-use every carton return- ed in good condition. Our_customers can assist by: (a) exercising care when opening a carton. (b) not exposing a carton to moisture. When returning empty bottles, please bring back the original container. Brewing Industry (Ontario)